Before It's Too Late
by RebeccaSwanCullen
Summary: Edward and Bella met when they were children but only really talked once in High School,they fell in love, got married etc, but something got definitely wrong because now they're living apart and their marriage is only hanging by a thread. AU/AH.Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me!

**Summary**: _Edward and Bella met when they both were children but only really talked once they were in High School, they fell in love, got married and so on and so forth, but something got definitely wrong because now they're living apart and their marriage is only hanging by a thread_… if you want to know what happened and why… I'm afraid you'll have to read now.

**AN**: Still editing my old Roswell stories and this is one of them. It's a little bit longer than the others and a bit darker as well, but I really hope you'll enjoy the ride nonetheless! Let me know!

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

She moaned his name in her sleep as she felt his hot breath on her neck, caressing her and sending shivers down her spine.

His lips brushed against her skin, burning her everywhere they grazed it until they finally touched her own.

His tongue darted out, quickly swallowed into the recesses of her mouth where it mated with hers and enjoyed its sweet taste.

A set of emerald eyes bore directly through her when they came up for air, touching her soul with the intensity they radiated, warming her heart with the way they shone love.

"I love you so much, Bella!" he whispered huskily and she moaned again as he kept thrusting in and out of her, his rhythm slow and torturous, just like he knew it drove her crazy.

God, she had missed this so much. Missed the contact of his fevered skin against hers, the touch of his hands all over her, the feel of him inside of her. How she had survived so long without it she didn't know, but now that she had him back she didn't want to let go. Ever.

Her nails scratched his back, when in reality her hands fisted the sheets at her sides, and she slightly arched up, trying to meet his every move.

"I love you… I love you… _you_ and only _you_!" he repeated reverently and she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

She tried to show him, tell him how much she loved him, too, but the words got stuck in her throat and all she could do was look back at him.

Why wouldn't her vocal chords work when she needed them?

He _needed_ to know, and she _needed_ to tell him, even if somehow she knew he understood, she could feel it in his gaze, in the way he touched her, in the way he was loving her.

She brought a hand over his shoulder, slowly making her way to the nape of his neck and she smiled as she felt his fingers briefly intertwining with hers, before he let go of them and tenderly stroked the length of her arm, all the way down to her own bare shoulder.

Strangely she felt his weight seemingly pressing more firmly against her, but she didn't give it second thoughts, too busy she was relishing in the soft caress of his fingers, until she finally felt his hand on her shoulder, shaking her. And shaking her. And shaking her.

"Mommy… I'm hungry!"

She stirred and blinked a few times at the sound of the voice, wondering why Edward was calling her _mommy_ suddenly, only to finally come face to face with the emerald eyes that haunted her every night, looking down at her. Those sparkling emerald eyes she loved so much… and yet they weren't exactly the same… they weren't really _his_.

She felt disoriented at first, searching around her, hoping to find him near her yet, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. He wasn't here anymore, period, she had to remind herself. He hadn't been for a long time now, and yet she still couldn't get used to waking up alone in what used to be _their_ bed, even if she well knew now it was only hers, and their daughter's occasionally when she couldn't sleep and she couldn't help but come and join her mother.

"Mommy… mooommy… I'm hungry… I. AM. HUNGRY!" Janelle, her five-year-old daughter repeated even more forcefully as she resumed her shaking and her little bouncing movements on Bella's stomach, not understanding why it was taking so long to her mother to react or why she wasn't already downstairs, preparing her her breakfast.

You would think that after having been shaken left and right for several minutes and called a countless number of times her mommy would be up and ready, but nooo. Couldn't she see that she was very hungry, and too excited to wait?

Her daddy was coming and he would be the one to take her to school this morning and so she wanted to be ready for when he would arrive, and now her mother was making them both late, and of course they couldn't have that. What would her daddy say or think if he saw she wasn't there to greet him when she hadn't seen him in three _long_ days? Of course she had talked to him on the phone every morning and every night before going to sleep during his absence, like they always did when he had to go away, but that was just not the same as seeing him in the flesh. No, not the same at all, her mother should know that!

"Okay, okay, sunshine… I think I got the message!" Bella said as she recovered and tried to stifle a laugh at her daughter's obvious excitation, then stop her from writhing even more on her lap. It wasn't the first time she had woken up with Janelle straddling her hips like this and shaking her for all she was worth, but she swore that one of these days she would just jump too much on her and kill her in the process, before she could even open an eye. "But what about a morning kiss first, huh?" she then added as she hugged her little girl against her chest and kissed her head.

At least if she couldn't revel in her husband's embrace first thing in the morning, she could still feel loved in her daughter's, and no one loved her more than her baby.

"Good mo'ning, mommy!" Janelle whispered as she hugged Bella back, or as best as she could in their still lying position, and she affectionately kissed her cheek.

"Did you sleep well, honey?" Bella asked, caressing her daughter's hair, loving the feel of it through her fingers.

It was the same texture as hers, and yet it seemed completely different to her, she couldn't help thinking once more. She had always found that strange, since if she had to describe her daughter, she would say she was the spitting image of herself, her mother from head to toes: same hair color, same little button nose, same chin, same tiny frame… only with Edward's incredible eyes. That was the only physical trait she had inherited from her father in fact, but together with all the rest that was all Bella, it made a terrific combination Edward often liked to say, already sure that his little girl would turn more than a few heads in the future. Not that he was ready to reach that step of course. Bella knew all too well how Edward would preserve Janelle from the external world and keep her in a safety bubble the rest of her life if he could, just to be sure she wouldn't grow up at all or at least not too fast and he wouldn't have to lose her to anyone else, but he had eyes, too, and like anyone else who saw her, he couldn't deny what a beauty his girl would be. She already was.

"Yeah… very!" Janelle answered as she momentarily rested her head against her mother's chest but all too quickly for Bella's liking, pulled away again. "Can we go now?… daddy is coming and I've to be ready!" she almost right away asked with her best pleading voice.

Oh, god. This girl and her daddy. If there were ever a living stereotype of a true '_daddy's girl_' Janelle Cullen was it, no doubt about that. She simply couldn't live without the man, which made the situation all the more complicated for Bella, considering she and Edward weren't together any longer -though so far, nothing was definitive- or were even barely speaking most of the time lately, and she knew firsthand how hard it could be for her to not see her father every day.

"I know he is!"… '_don't remind me_' Bella thought at the mention of him, already dreading the moment when she would see him this morning. "What about you go down first… you know where your favorite cookies are… you can take some and then if you just give me a few minutes to get showered and dressed, I'll follow and make you some pancakes." Bella negotiated, knowing that she would need a few minutes to cool down some more before being able to go anywhere or do anything else.

Her body was still humming from her dream and called for a very cold shower, and considering her daughter's impatience had made her wake up with the lark, she realized as she chanced a quick look at her alarm clock which had yet to go off, she could fortunately still take her time.

Following her mother's instructions, Janelle quickly got down from the bed and padded to the door after a brief 'okay', but she had only taken a few steps into the hallway when she came backwards to ask her mother if she could watch some cartoons on the television while she waited.

"Sure, sweetie… I won't be long!" Bella authorized with a smile before falling back on her bed again.

No, Edward wasn't here anymore, Bella sighed as she saw her baby girl exiting the room, remembering how had he been here, he would have followed suit at the mention of cartoons. When Edward had nowhere to go in the morning, it had been like a tradition for the two of them to have their breakfast together, usually Cocoa Pebbles for him and whatever she was in the mood for, for Janelle, both cuddled close in front of the television. But now Janelle was all alone, and though she never talked or complained about it, Bella knew how much she missed those mornings.

It had only been a dream again. Only another dream. That was the only thing she had now anyway. That and a lot of memories, along with daydreaming fantasies that one day everything would be back to normal again. If only. She wished so much they could go back, but lately even just hoping was becoming too hard to her.

She often wondered where everything had gone wrong for them. Where their perfect life had changed so much and turned into this and why she had not seen it coming beforehand, maybe then she could have stopped it from happening, but she hadn't seen a thing, or not soon enough in fact and slowly she and Edward had drifted apart until it was too late for her to do anything.

A couple of years ago they had everything and she was envied by most of her friends, and now that period seemed so far away that she wondered if that, too, hadn't been only a dream.

She had practically known Edward Cullen her whole life, ever since he had moved to Forks, Washington in fact and he had stepped out of a yellow school bus his first day of class when they were just 2nd graders, but it wasn't until that fateful day of September eight years later, when he had risked his life to save hers, that she had really talked to him. She was still only sixteen, he was barely seventeen but both had immediately known that that day would seal their fate and that nothing would ever be the same between them after that.

Of course she had noticed him long before that, who wouldn't have noticed brooding, mysterious and elusive Edward Cullen with the looks he had. He was every girl's fantasy and yet he never seemed to care, never seemed to date, which probably was what made him be even more coveted, but she had never really dared address him before, no more than he had in fact. But after that day though, and after his recovery, they had been nearly _attached to the hip_ to quote what many commented back then. First as friends, and later as way more when they had finally been ready to admit that '_being only friends_' just wasn't enough to any of them anymore, and during numerous years nothing could come between them. They were constantly together and shared all that could possibly be shared by two people. Edward had been her best friend, her boyfriend, her confidant and later, the night of their Junior Prom, he had become her lover, too. Her _everything_ finally.

That night he had eventually confessed having been in love with her ever since the first day he had laid eyes on her, and while he was waiting for her to laugh at him for how cheesy that sounded, she had kissed him and told him that it only made her love him more knowing that she had always been the only one to him. That was also the night she had known with even more clarity if there wasn't enough before, that there would never be anyone else for her but Edward Cullen either. Or so she had truly believed.

A year later, on the night of their Senior Prom and before bringing her back home, Edward had made his proposal. Unexpectedly. Out of the blue. So totally Edward.

She had been shocked at first of course, thinking that they were still so young, _too_ young to get married in fact, but he had immediately eased her fears by telling her that he just couldn't wait any longer to ask her to be his wife, but that didn't mean that they had to tie the knot right that instant. They would wait as long as she would want, but he just needed to _know_ that one day she would be completely his, and of course she had granted his wish. However none of them had known then how soon that day would come. Sooner than they had planned it at least, that was for sure.

They were barely starting their third year of College in Los Angeles, Bella studying to be a molecular biologist and Edward to be a lawyer, when they had discovered she was pregnant. They had been both pretty scared and even shocked at first -okay, _she_ had completely freaked out on Edward at that moment and _he_ had had to calm her down- but after talking it out, they had realized that it didn't matter or change anything since though they hadn't thought about starting a family so soon, both wanting to finish College before doing so, it didn't change the fact that that baby would be very much loved and wanted now that they knew of its existence.

Their parents, though their reactions to the news had been quite mixed to say the least, had insisted on the fact that they should get married and that no grandchild of theirs should be born out of wedlock, and Edward and Bella had been more than happy to comply. They had thought it would be a little complicated at first to conciliate everything and make ends meet, but the surprise had come when Helen Swan, Bella's grandmother, had offered them the house she was still currently living in as a wedding present. She couldn't very well let her granddaughter and great-grandchild live in a tiny two bedrooms apartment when she had the money, the opportunity and the will to help or downright take care of that, Helen had said, and though Edward had been a little reluctant to accept such a gift at first, in the end, they both knew they had taken the right decision. It had surely helped and they would have had to struggle so much more if they hadn't.

So for a few months everything had been pretty normal, Edward continuing school though Bella had to drop off the last semester due to her condition, and both were of course waiting impatiently for their daughter's arrival, but in the end Bella had fallen so totally in love with her little girl that she hadn't had the heart to pursue her studies, at least not to achieve what had always been her dream and become a famous molecular biologist. It would have taken too much of her time and she wasn't willing to leave her baby more than it was necessary if she could do otherwise. Eventually so, she had become a biology teacher and it suited her just fine and with Edward supporting her, she had never had to regret her decision.

Yes, everything had been perfect between Edward and her and the birth of their daughter had brought them so much joy that sometimes they thought that any day soon they would just burst out with happiness.

If Bella had to point out the moment things had started to change then, she would certainly say it was around the time the rest of the Cullens, Edward's parents and even Rosalie, his sister, had moved to Los Angeles, too.

Carlisle Cullen, a lawyer himself, had been offered a partnership in a Law Office there and decided to seize that great opportunity, seeing only advantages to the situation. He would make great money, he would do something he really liked in a town he liked, too, moreover, he would have a more important position, and he and his wife would be closer to his son and his family. And like it was predictable, Esme Cullen who always complained she couldn't see her only granddaughter often enough had been ecstatic of course and everyone had thought that this new turn in their lives was for the best.

Not long after his coming, Carlisle had talked to his partners and Edward had been offered a job, too, which was really great since he was just fresh out of Law School and it had spared him the trouble of going hunting for a position anywhere else, or finding himself somewhere he didn't know anybody, and again everyone had been happy with the situation. How could they not?

Bella hadn't really noticed anything being different at first, too busy she was with juggling between her own job and taking care of her daughter, but slowly Edward had had less and less time for her, and soon she was barely seeing him at all.

All that seemed to matter to him was his job and trying to satisfy everyone, though mostly his father of course. Bella hadn't thought he really realized what he was doing to her or to their couple so she had more or less let it flow at first. At least as much as she could. And then when she couldn't, every time she really tried to enter the topic with him, Edward always managed to reassure her, swearing that it was only a matter of time, of a few months, nothing more, just until he proved himself, and that then he would have more time for her and for Janelle, so what was she supposed to say? He told her everything she wanted to hear and she believed him.

But it hadn't been just a matter of a few months. Unfortunately.

After a little more than two years working for his father's Law Office, Edward had gotten into a big argument with one of the main partners, completely disagreeing with his point of view on a case and consequently, things had been a little more strained between him and everyone else after that. And that was more or less when Emmett McCarthy, one of Edward's Law School buddies had come into the picture.

He and Edward had kept in touch even after finishing school and when Emmett had come to him, telling him that his own father's Law Firm, which was originally based in San Francisco, was looking for someone who could help opening up a branch here in Los Angeles with him and that he had immediately thought of him for the job, Edward hadn't thought about it twice. He had seized the opportunity and left his previous job and father behind without hesitation. Carlisle Cullen hadn't been particularly thrilled of course, understatement of the day here actually, but fortunately their relationship hadn't really been affected by Edward's '_desertion_'. To some point, Bella guessed he understood Edward's decision, since he would have probably done the same if he had had the opportunity to have his own Law Firm at such a young age.

Unfortunately for Bella, Edward's new job, and most of all new responsibilities hadn't helped their situation at all. If anything it had only made matters worse, because if she thought that she didn't see Edward enough before, now with him having to work practically 24/7, she didn't see him at all, what with him being always working or even on business trips between Los Angeles and San Francisco, or all over the West Coast depending on what he was dealing with.

Of course they still had the weekends and the little time Edward managed to save for their daughter, but Bella was seriously starting to resent him for not being there for her more often. Telling herself that it was just a matter of time, that everything would be back to normal once he would have everything settled and going in his office, was not enough any longer, not when it was costing her her husband. She needed more.

And then she had had that crazy idea that maybe having another baby would help them getting close again and that was when Edward had snapped. He hadn't wanted to hear about it at all, stating that they weren't ready, that with them both working and with already Janelle to take care of, they wouldn't have time for another baby, or even worse, that no child of his would come to this world with him not having time to see it growing up, that they should better wait, and Bella had really lost it.

Angrily she had reminded him that that was exactly what he was already doing with Janelle, but if she had thought that that would help her case, she had been really wrong. Edward had argued then that it was all the more reason to not bring another baby into this and not make it go through this, too, if that was really what she thought already. And Bella had known the discussion was over. Of course she had tried to bring the topic up several times again afterwards, but Edward was inflexible on that point, much to her dismay, and it had only caused the rift between them to widen even more.

In the end, Bella had learned that fate had a way of working that didn't always go with your wishes, but Edward had never known about that. Because when she had been ready to tell him about it, she had discovered the real reason behind his refusal. She had discovered that while she was there, struggling and trying to save their marriage, Edward was making other plans that were obviously more important to him. Plans that didn't include her anymore, and she had let him go. Or more like asked him to leave.

He was probably with _her_ right now, making up for the time they hadn't been together these three last days, she thought bitterly, still not able to get over the fact that he could be with someone else.

Was he making love to her now? Was he holding her afterwards? she couldn't help wondering then against her better judgment -remembering how Edward loved making love to her first thing in the morning and just cuddle close to her until it was finally time to get up and he had no other choice but to let her go- and not surprisingly she had to resist the urge to vomit just at the thought.

God, why was she torturing herself like that? Why did she even care what he did or not, huh? It wasn't as if it still mattered in any way now, right?

Pulled out of her not all pleasant memories, and even less pleasant visions, by one of Janelle's fit of giggles, Bella turned and looking again at her clock, she realized that she had managed to space out for a good fifteen minutes and she couldn't help sighing. Would there ever be a time when she wouldn't get completely lost when thinking about him or what used to be their life? She doubted so.

Giving herself a short pep talk, she finally managed to extricate herself from the bed and padded to her bathroom to finally get that shower she needed so much before. Not that there was still anything humming inside her after having pictured what Edward could be doing with that… _someone else_ -she wouldn't even stoop to insult her anymore, she had been there, done that too many times already and it hadn't helped any- but she guessed that the water would do her some good nonetheless.

Pausing before her mirror she had to smile at the picture she made, dressed with that odd old top she simply couldn't get rid of because it was one of those Edward had offered her a long time ago, back when he still thought about her enough to want to please her with the most little, insignificant or strange gifts that almost always left her smiling -though probably questioning his sanity, too- and a pair of his boxers rolled up at the waist since they were definitely too big for her but she obstinately refused to sleep in anything else, come winter or summer.

She didn't know why she couldn't be comfortable in anything else that was not _his_ now, but she clearly remembered when it had started. Almost immediately after they had moved together in their first apartment in Los Angeles and she had discovered how great it felt to sleep with Edward so close… and _in_ Edward's clothes, whether it was just a shirt, one of his tee-shirts or his boxers. Edward had thought she was crazy, but it had also made him smile nonetheless, maybe because he liked seeing her in his things, and so he had yielded to her _obsession_.

Now it was a chance that most of his things were still here even after all this time, she thought, otherwise she didn't know how she could have made it. It was a stupid thing really if you thought about it, because a pair of boxers, a shirt or what else would never replace Edward's presence by her side, or the feel of him holding her all through the night, but that was as close as she could come to feel anything that was him now, so she had to take whatever she could, right? It was even weirder if you considered that she had washed everything she wore that was his at least a hundred of times already since he had left, but strangely she still managed to find everything smelling just like him. And god, she loved that smell.

Groaning when she realized that she was doing it again -let her mind go and wander where it shouldn't- she quickly discarded her clothes and hopped under the shower, instantly reveling in the feel of the water pounding her now calmer body.

She heard a noise above the sound of the running shower and for a brief moment, merely a second maybe but that was enough to affect her deeply, she almost expected Edward to come and open the shower glass-door and ask her with that cocky smile of his if she needed _some help_, like he had so many times before, when making love in the shower was almost the only way to not have Janelle walking up on them _doing it_ once she was awake, but fortunately -or _un_fortunately, she didn't know anymore- it was only her daughter entering the bathroom.

God, how she hated this. How could she still be so obsessed with him even after all this time? Even after all she knew. It was insane. _She_ was completely insane. She just _had_ to stop, otherwise she was really going to lose it and it wouldn't be a pretty sight, believe it.

Berating herself, she tried to chase away and out of her mind, the image of a naked Edward entering the shower cubicle, ready for action, but it would probably be easier to learn to fly than managing to do that once the idea was implanted, and so she decided to concentrate on the only thing that could occupy her enough to get her mind out of the gutter. Her daughter.

"Sweetie?… did you want something?" she asked her loud enough to be sure she could hear her.

"Um-huh… there's no more cookies… are you coming?" she heard her whining slightly and immediately felt guilty for having taken so long.

"Yes, sweetheart… just give me another minute to wash my hair and I'll make those pancakes I promised!"

" 'kay… can you make for daddy, too?… he's going to be here soon!" Janelle demanded after a brief hesitation, sure that her father would appreciate, too. Her mother made the best pancakes ever anyway, and she knew just how much he liked them, too. That would make a good 'welcome back' little present. Maybe she could even help her mother make them and he would be proud of her.

"Of course!" was all that Bella could reply since she couldn't deny her daughter anything. But no one said it had to be easy, right? Yeah, thank you, that was what she thought, too.

Washing her hair and body in record time so that Janelle wouldn't be kept waiting any longer, she finally turned off the water and quickly tried to grab a towel to dry herself, only to smile when she saw that Janelle was already handing one to her.

"Thank you, Jay!" she whispered and kissed her daughter's head when she finally had the towel securely wrapped around her body. "Go ahead, I'm coming!" she then added as she reached for another towel to dry her hair.

Once that done she entered her walk-in wardrobe and searched for some clean clothes, hesitating briefly on what to wear before she remembered that since she didn't have any class until the last but one morning period, she would be able to go for a longer run than her usual twenty minutes, and so she chose something she knew she would be comfortable in.

When she finally was dressed and went downstairs, she wasn't surprised to find Janelle already in the kitchen and patiently, or at least as much as she could, waiting for her, and without wasting any more time, she prepared her girl's breakfast, trying not to cringe every time she reminded her that she had to make enough so that her father could have his fill, too. Like she could forget about him, huh? She wished, but she had understood long ago that her wishes were rarely granted.

* * *

It was a pretty stuffed Janelle who left the kitchen a little more than half an hour later, but nothing could have stopped her from running up the stairs, so happy she was when her mother had told her that she could go and choose herself the dress she would wear, since obviously it was important to her to look _pretty_ for her daddy, like she had said.

Bella followed not far behind, though she herself didn't feel any need to run, and after helping her shower and get dressed, she settled to do her daughter's hair. Of course by then considering that her father was due to arrive a mere ten minutes later, she was a bundle of nerves, and it took all of Bella's patience to make her stay still, but she managed nonetheless.

"Do you think daddy got me a gift?" Janelle asked her mother as she combed her silky tresses.

That was the only thing she liked about the fact that her father always went on 'bizniss' trips, he always brought her back the coolest gifts. Usually they were stuffed animals and she already had a pretty big collection of them, but sometimes they were just dolls, or new accessories for them, or even just new DVDs. She wondered what it would be this time.

"I'm sure he did!" Bella answered, knowing that Edward would certainly not forget about that. There was a time when he always brought something for her, too, but that had stopped once he had left of course. She guessed he didn't feel _obligated_ any longer after that. "Braided or loose today, honey?" she then demanded absentmindedly, though she was already starting to braid it, considering that Janelle had asked her to do her hair that way almost all the week.

No need to say then that her answer surprised her, even if in some way she could have expected it.

"Loose… daddy like it loose… he say I look like you!" Janelle replied simply and smiled proudly at Bella through the mirror, not aware that her answer had caused her mother's heart to ache in remembrance.

Yes, Edward had always liked when she wore her hair loose, too. At least a long time ago. He probably didn't care one way or another now though.

* * *

**TBC...**

**So? :) Worth continuing or not?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me!

**AN**: Here goes the second chapter. Thanks LovelyLovelyLovely and amy859 for reviewing! Hope you'll like this part, too!

(parts in italic are actually events that happened in the past!)

Enjoy!

**Chapter one**

_Unable to tear his eyes away from her, he lay still on his side, facing her and almost mirroring her exact posture, one hand tucked under his head, the other one resting on his thigh. It seemed like only minutes to him since he had woken up and started to study her as she slept, but judging by the light that was slowly starting to enter the room, he was pretty sure that it was already hours. Yet even knowing by experience that the longer he would stay near her like this, the harder it would become for him to resist her, he couldn't leave._

He literally ached to touch her, his fingers itched with the need to caress and feel her skin again and to a certain point, the realization made him angry. He was so weak. He shouldn't feel that way, he shouldn't need anything from her, shouldn't need her_, and yet he couldn't help it._

Unable to stop himself any longer, he pulled the covers down to have a better view of her enticing, perfect body, and he felt his groin tightening even more just at the sight of her.

God, she was just so beautiful. His_ wife. _His_Bella__. How was he supposed to hate her, hate such a breathtaking creature, hate the love of his life, the mother of his child? More importantly, how was he supposed to ever let go of her?_

Despite himself, he smiled as he saw her clad in his blue Calvin Klein boxers, certainly twice too large for her tiny frame but her favorite nonetheless, but the smile died on his lips when his eyes wandered higher, past her flat tanned stomach, and caught the movements of her expanding and contracting chest. Up and down with each intake of air.

For a second he held his breath when she unexpectedly changed position, afraid to see her stir, but then he nearly groaned when he realized it gave him an even clearer view of her breasts, already barely concealed by the thin and nearly transparent material of her top. Better concentrate on something else, he immediately thought.

Carefully, making sure to not wake her up, he tucked back the few strands of hair that had fallen over her face when she had moved, and his eyes trailed on her perfect features once more. He didn't think he would ever tire of looking at her, but now every time he did, he couldn't help the pain that washed over him, knowing that she didn't really belong to him any longer. Not completely at least.

She sighed slightly at the feathery contact and a tiny smile appeared on her rosy lips, making him wonder what could have caused it. Was it the brief brush of his fingers over her skin, or was it something else only she_ was seeing behind her closed eyelids?_

What could she be thinking anyway? Could she be dreaming of him? he couldn't help wondering, though he knew he would probably never have the answer. Could she still love him there_, wherever it was her mind was right now?_

Fighting the urge to touch her for as long as he could, he finally relented when it became too much to bear, and he brought his hand to her knee before slowly moving it up her smooth thigh.

God, he loved her skin.

"Edward!" _Bella__ softly moaned, unaware of the audience, and he felt his heart skipping a beat at the beautiful sound that reached his ears. He didn't think that anything would ever sound more wonderful to him than his name on her lips in fact._

Maybe she was indeed dreaming of him after all, he rejoiced, forgetting for a brief moment why he shouldn't even hope or think about that.

Becoming bolder, his fingers caressed her skin more insistently and he stopped only when she stirred and when her eyes fluttered open and bore directly into his, catching him in the act.

"Edward?" she breathed out and blinked, apparently still not completely awake but clearly surprised to see him so close to her, or maybe even more, to feel him touching her. And how could she not, it had been more than a month since he had last touched her. Since he had last been here when she went to bed or when she woke up in the morning even in fact. More than a month since he had last made love to her.

He didn't say anything at first, still fighting for some control, for some way to find the strength to get out of there and not do what he so wanted to do, but it was a hopeless situation. He just couldn't stay away from her any longer. He knew about her deception, knew about what she had done to him, to them_, and yet he couldn't stay away. How pathetic of him, huh?_

_Bella__ looked up at him questioningly, seeing so many emotions passing in his so expressive eyes that she wasn't sure she could even name them all. Love, pain, desire, indecision swirled in their depths, but mostly there was… _anger_ she realized with a frown, not understanding why he would be angry, and then, just when she was sure he was going to bolt out of the bed and tell her that he needed to go to work or to wherever it was he went so early in the morning lately, she saw him grimacing slightly just before his eyes locked with hers again, and her breath caught in her throat, making her forget about anything else. What she clearly saw in them then couldn't be mistaken. She knew that look all too well. And she also knew what it meant._

Before he could reason any longer with himself, Edward brought her closer, until their chests touched and their lower bodies met, until he had her practically pinned with his weight against the mattress and she had no other choice but to surrender to him.

Her breathing changed almost immediately, not really being used to having him so close anymore, and her eyes closed in delight when she felt his breath a mere inch from her skin.

"I need you too much, _Bella__!" his lips against her neck, eyes tightly shut, Edward whispered achingly like he needed to justify himself, justify his actions even if it was only for his own sake._

Stop, stop now, before it's too late!_ a voice kept ordering him in his head but Edward was unable to listen to it now. He was too far gone to understand anything but the passion that coursed through his veins and the craving that blinded his senses._

Swiftly, he moved aside the spaghetti strap of her top and tugged the material down, revealing a perfect breast to his hungry eyes, and almost immediately he dove on the now exposed and tempting flesh, drawing her hardened nipple into his awaiting mouth and pleased beyond belief when it elicited a low whimper of pleasure from _Bella__._

The hand that had fondled her breast not a second ago moved down the side of her now heated body, until it could stroke its way up under the leg of the boxers and bracket her hip, and then with the pad of his thumb, he caressed her nether lips. Closing his eyes briefly again when he felt her responding to his touch, he couldn't help marveling at how she arched up against him, how she struggled to breathe after just that simple act, how she moaned his name with that edge in her voice that betrayed her need and usually let him know she wanted more.

"God, how I want you!" he croaked breathlessly, and the little voice inside his head attacked once more. You shouldn't want her! You shouldn't touch her! You shouldn't! __

"Me, too… E-Edward!" _Bella__ whispered back, still not sure that this was really happening._

She was afraid she was going to wake up any time soon now and realize that this was only a dream, but when Edward talked to her again, his eyes never leaving her face and looking at her with so much passion shining in them it made her head spin, she knew she was not imagining this.

He was here, he was touching her, and he wanted her. And she wasn't going to question it any longer, she promised herself. She had missed him too much for that.

Her hands, idle until then, grew a mind of their own and before she could stop them they were pulling his boxers down, freeing him from the confines of the material and revealing to her, if she had had any doubts before, just how much he indeed meant the words.

"Do you?" Edward asked just above a whisper like he was dreading the answer, and to some point he certainly did, but he was unable to not look at her at the same time for all that. He needed to see the truth in her eyes, even if what he could find in them could hurt him, destroy him even, he needed to know.

"Yes… god, yes!" she cried out as she felt one of his fingers entering her, obviously seeking on its own for the answer to his question.

"Say it, _Bella__… please, say it!" he murmured, his voice hoarse with need, yet hating himself for begging her to give him just that._

"I-I… I want you… god, I want you, Edward!" _Bella__ panted desperately when he withdrew his finger, aching for more of his touch, and Edward could honestly have cried right then just at the thought that she could still want him despite everything._

In a flash her boxers were sliding along her shapely legs and the next instant he was hovering above her, ready to complete her again after so long.

"Keep your eyes open!" he commanded when the tip of his shaft touched her throbbing core and he saw her closing her eyes at the sensation.

He wanted her to see him, see that it was him and no one else who was making love to her. No, he wouldn't be able to just bear the thought that she could close her eyes and imagine herself being loved by anyone but him at that instant.

She complied without hesitation of course, and the next second he was in to the hilt, his whole body trembling at being reunited with hers, at being one with her again.

Oh, god, she was still so tight, and she felt so good! Too_ good._

She shouldn't feel that good to him anymore.

Not so surprisingly, there was no more foreplay after that and no gentleness in his lovemaking either, only great urgency, desperation, a fierce desire, need_ to possess her in the most primal way. Just to show, if only to himself, that she was still his, that no matter what, he was still the only one who had the _right_ to claim her because she was still _his_ wife and no one else's. And claim her he did at that moment, over and over, until all __Bella__ could do was moan his name continuously and beg him to never stop._

He tried to tune out the sound of her sweet voice calling him repeatedly. He tried to ignore how much it warmed his heart to hear her passion-filled cries again, or how much knowing he was the one causing them affected him. He even tried to convince himself that this was just sex now -sex like he could have it with any other woman he could meet and not care about in the least- but deep down he knew it wasn't.

He was making love to her because he just loved her too much to not to. He was making love to her because he needed to lose himself in her and forget about anything else but the feel of her, even if only for a few minutes, and hoped it would be enough to make him feel alive again. But mostly he was making love to her because he just wanted, needed to take back what he considered was rightfully his_ and that was the only way he knew how. And the realization hurt all the more because he never, ever thought that this would be the way he would feel about __Bella__, his __Bella__, of all people, or that he would ever see the day when he would love, and hate so much at the same time, making love to her. Love and hate so much the fact that he needed her and that he just couldn't live without her._

His eyes, which until then had been solely focused on her parted lips, involuntarily drifted up and locked with hers, and Edward nearly lost it there and then. The emotion he recognized there, so blatantly evident, naked, unmistakable, was just too much for him to bear. The love so pure, unadulterated, that shimmered in her eyes, left there openly for him to see, just couldn't be real. And as much as he wanted to believe his vision wasn't deceiving him, he just couldn't make himself accept it, because that would go against all he knew now and he refused to even consider that she could still love him so much but have been able to betray him, to betray their love like she had nonetheless.

Liar._ His mind called her. _Liar!__

If she was able to deceive him so much and act like nothing at all, she was certainly able to fake her emotions as well, wasn't she?

Of course she was, that was why he hadn't seen a thing before and for so long.

Ultimately and despite what he had asked of her, he_ was the one who closed his eyes, too coward he was to face the evidence and therefore preferring to choose the easy way out. If he didn't look at her, he wouldn't question everything all over again, only to find himself hurting even more in the end. No, he just couldn't afford to do that, because he knew he wouldn't survive if he had to hope and lose everything eventually again._

Burying his face in her neck instead, as he repetitively buried himself into her core, he bit and nipped her skin as hard as he could, unconsciously marking her as his own for everyone to see, as at the same time paradoxically he tried to forget what he had just seen, what he was doing, who she was.

However his eyes could be closed all they wanted, but his mind eye felt her, saw her, knew her nonetheless, painfully reminding him that he couldn't escape her, that whatever he did, or how much he tried to deny it, she was a part of him, she lived in him just like he knew he had lived in her for so long, and there wasn't a thing he could do about that. She would always be there, and the recognition of that fact was enough to make him lose the little bit of control he still had until then. That was the moment everything changed in fact and all he needed to finally snap.

A tortured groan that in the heat of the moment could have been mistaken for one of intense pleasure escaped his lips, and he thrust in and out of her like that was the last thing he was going to do in this life. Roughly, desperately, almost savagely and gripping her hip, her shoulder so tightly in his hands that he was sure to leave her delicate skin bruised. Any harder or faster in fact he would have probably hurt her, but he couldn't stop himself.

He gave her everything he had inside at that moment, promising himself of course that this would be the last time, yet only refused her one thing. He never kissed her. He just couldn't, even if he didn't really understand why, but kissing her seemed just too personal to him at that moment, too affectionate, even more intimate_ to him than what he was doing right now as he sheathed himself inside her depths and shared his body with her, and he didn't want it to be that way. This wasn't about that anymore. If he didn't kiss her, it would be _just_ sex finally, and that was what he needed it to be now. It was just sex, yeah, it _had_ to be. Sex and only sex. She didn't deserve anything else. She didn't deserve his love._

At some point, when he was sure she was nearing the edge, he felt her nails scratch his back and in his perturbed state, he even gladly welcomed the pain. Reveled in it. Anything to forget the sheer pleasure that feeling her surrounding him could bring him. A pleasure he shouldn't allow himself to feel. At least not in her arms anymore.

All the while, unaware of the agony Edward was going through, _Bella__ writhed and moaned, squirmed and panted under him, feeling herself coming to life again with each one of his powerful thrusts. God, it had really been too long since he had loved her like this and even if she was a little surprised with the forcefulness he kept pounding inside her body, it felt definitively too good for her to even think about complaining._

Her moans of pleasure grew louder eventually and she knew she wouldn't last long, but she wanted Edward to be there with her and so she tightly cradled his hips between her thighs and arched up even more, forcing him to thrust even deeper, as she hungrily nibbled and sucked the skin of his neck and after a last effort, she felt him emptying himself into her tight walls, his orgasm finally triggering her own, their cries of ecstasy mingling and echoing everywhere around them.

A blissful smile grazed her lips as she finally came down from her high and she sighed almost dreamingly, still somewhat wrapped in the sensation. God, after this she could die just right this instant and leave this world happy and feeling utterly fulfilled, she thought.

But if she was more than pleased with the turn of events, Edward was far from sharing her feelings and if his body found the satisfaction it craved, his mind, his heart didn't feel any. In fact the instant it was over, he felt a tremendous urge to just bolt out of there and run as far away from her as he could. Run and never turn back. But she didn't let him.

"No, don't… stay, please!" she whispered and closed her thighs around him once more when she felt him trying to pull away, thus preventing him from leaving her heat too soon for her liking and as crazy as it seemed, Edward was unable to deny her.

Halting his movement, he leant over her a brief moment as he tried to catch his breath, before eventually rolling on his back and taking her with him, still deeply embedded into her core.

He later felt her contract and relax her vaginal muscles around his softening shaft, like she often did afterwards and though before he had always loved it when she did that, today he just couldn't take it. Maybe because he knew where it usually led them, and he was really not ready to reiterate the experience right now. He wasn't even sure he would ever be again. Not after realizing that instead of making him feel better, sharing this with her only made him feel worse, dead inside and so, before she could take this any further, he firmly grabbed her hips to stop any movement she could make, and prayed that she would take the hint.

Much to his relief, _Bella__ seemed to be as tired as he felt and not long after, she went almost completely still above him, the gentle, and in other circumstances soothing caress of her fingers along his torso the only sign that she was still awake in fact, and Edward couldn't help but thank God for the small favor and moment of reprieve, even if it was unfortunately short-lived._

Making herself comfortable on top of him and resting her head on his chest almost immediately afterwards, _Bella__ never saw the tears that pooled in his eyes when she tenderly and repeatedly kissed his skin, just above his heart, and whispered a heartfelt 'I love you' that sliced right through his entire being, and she was asleep before she could even question why he was unable to whisper back the words, even if he wished more than anything that he could tell her that he still loved her, too. Because he did, and that was probably what made all of this even harder._

She never saw the disgust on his face either or the self-hatred that marred his usually so handsome features when, not able to stand being near her any longer, he eventually pulled out of her and pushed her body as far away from his as he could. No, she didn't even stir, so satisfied and sated he had left her. Finally utterly content for the first time in more than a month.

She didn't hear him getting up and exiting the room, his body trembling more uncontrollably with each new step he took, or even less the sound of him retching in the bathroom.

She didn't hear the shower running interminably, as he scrubbed his skin, nearly peeling it off with the rage, but most of all the irrational need, he suddenly felt to wash away the feel of her skin against his and the scent of her that permeated his body. Anything to forget what had happened, what he_ had just done._

This was the first, but the last time, too, he swore inwardly as he collapsed on the shower floor and eventually broke down in tears.

The last time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flat on his stomach, he buried his head into the pillow and growled low in his throat.

'_Go away_!' he groaned as snippets of his last intimate moment with her flashed through his mind, the memory taunting him, reminding him of what he still had at that moment and how he had tarnished and ruined it.

God, he had been so stupid. He still was in fact.

Yes, hear this out folks, Edward Cullen was a stupid fool.

Of course he hadn't always been aware of his own stupidity, which probably explained why he was finding himself in this situation, and it had taken him quite some time to reach that 'brilliant' conclusion, but it didn't make it any less true for all that.

But if anyone still needed any proof, the best one probably was how he had acted at that instant. He had behaved like a demented and irrational psycho who could barely control himself, when he should have cherished that moment he could have with her, because despite everything else she was still his wife, and so if he wasn't able to stay away from her, then he should have at least been able to respect her and love her like a wife should be. Which he had realized later, he had clearly not, that realization finally making him understand just how wrong he had been. It had been wrong to treat her like she was just there to satisfy a need he couldn't repress, and it had been wrong to use their lovemaking just to prove a point, he knew that now even if it was too late and even if knowing didn't make it any more right for all that.

But he guessed that he had already paid for that, hadn't he? After all he had only reaped what he himself had sowed.

It was really ironic in fact, because though he had convinced himself back then that that was really what he wanted, if he had known that sometimes wishes could be granted and prayers be heard, he would have probably kept his mouth shut or at least, he would have thought better before even formulating the thought in his mind. Now all he could do was to regret his words, and he certainly regretted them more than anything else in the world, there was no doubt about that, because if he had been so sure at that moment considering what he had learnt and what he had felt while making love to her, that he wouldn't be able to go through that for much longer or keep doing like there was nothing wrong between them, he hadn't been anywhere near prepared to lose her completely, or lose what they still had for all that.

It certainly was another irony of the situation he guessed but if at that time he could barely stand being anywhere too close to her, now he realized that he craved her presence more than anything else. He missed waking up before her and being able to just look at her while she slept. He missed knowing that even if they didn't always talk, she would be there when he would come home. He missed the silliest little things that kept him going even after he had realized that their relationship was probably doomed, or that it was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan and that nothing would ever be the same after that. He simply missed _her_. But couldn't do a thing to change that, even if there was no saying just how much he wished he could go back in time and mend everything.

Whenever he thought about that morning, it still surprised him just how clearly he remembered everything, every little detail, every sensation, or how he felt when he had actually promised himself that it would be the last time he would touch her, the last time he would make love to her. He remembered how he had been so convinced he was doing the right thing, or how he had kept repeating to himself that his reaction was totally normal, that that was actually the only way he could be with her now, and in the end, he had been true to his word and to his feelings, he had _not_ touched her again after that. The only problem was that it hadn't been by choice, at least not 'his', and that made all the difference in the world, because no matter what he had claimed that day, deep down, he had also known that _he_ would have never left her for all that, _he_ wouldn't have taken that final step, and as long as he didn't, that assured him that he wouldn't lose her either, at least not until _he_ decided that that was how he wanted their relationship to end.

That was probably the only thing that could as well explain why he had never confronted her, even if once again it also proved just how coward he could be. But the fact was, he was simply not ready to let her go, therefore as long as they didn't talk about the situation he knew he could still hope for a better ending, hope that things could be worked out somehow, that they could somehow find a way to come back to each other. But then if they broached the topic, he seriously doubted that their conversation would end with an '_it's okay, we just forget about it and act as if nothing happened_'.

No, if he did confront her, the most reasonable thing that could happen was that she would have to make a choice, and he was just too afraid he wouldn't be the one she would choose to even think about taking that risk. It had been true then and it still was, even if in the end it hadn't done him much good. The turn the events had taken had proved him that.

Not long after that morning, 'Bella' had finally dropped the bomb and asked him to leave with barely more than a '_you perfectly know why_' and an '_I don't think there is much to explain_' and the idiot he was had left without another word, without a fight which was certainly and from far the stupidest thing he could have done, anyone would agree on that.

However even if it didn't excuse anything, at that moment all he could remember was how angry he still was or how disappointed and disgusted he felt, so what was he supposed to say anyway, huh? Nothing, since he indeed knew 'why' and he didn't need her to go into 'a detailed explanation' to understand her reasons, just like there wasn't a damn thing he could do to change her mind. At least those had been his thoughts then.

It's funny though how your perception of things could change with time. He had often heard people saying that to heal from a broken heart all you needed was time, but if he could maybe have agreed once, now he really didn't think so because even several interminable months later, it still hurt like it had the very first day, or maybe even more if that were possible. What time allowed you to do however, was to 'think', to see things differently, but unfortunately it wasn't always for the better.

He knew, he had done that a lot. In fact he couldn't even remember how many times he had stayed up, or woken up in the middle of the night after having had another bad dream and not being able to go back to sleep then, he had just started to think everything over again and tried to find a better explanation to the failure of his marriage than '_she doesn't love me anymore, that's all, it happens_' or worse '_she never really loved me, that's why it happened_', because those were the only ones that made any sense at that time. Yet for long he hadn't found any other answer to his questions unfortunately. No matter how he turned the problem, the conclusion was always the same, it was always 'her' fault, one way or another, and therefore she was also the only one who could fix everything. And since as far as he knew she wouldn't because that wasn't what _she_ wanted, in the end he couldn't find any solution that would be satisfying enough or would make him feel any better.

Sometimes then, he thought that it would be so much easier if he could just hate her, but he had long understood that he just didn't have it in him to feel any real hatred where she was concerned. He had had no problem hating himself though, once he had realized just how stupid he had been, _was_, whatever. He had hated himself even to the point where he just wished he could crawl out of his own skin sometimes, anything to escape his own mind, but he had quickly realized that that wasn't an option. If she was the one to take the ultimate decision, he wasn't all that innocent either and so the only thing that was left to do was just to live with his own mistakes and hope that he would learn from them, because if time had shown him anything, it was that he was just as responsible as Bella was, if not more.

Granted what he had done himself had all been done _involuntarily_ because clearly he had never meant for this to happen, but it didn't change the fact that he was also to blame. It had been hard to admit it at first of course, it would have been so much easier to keep thinking that he had no part in all of this, no reasons to feel guilty at all, but when the truth hit you square in the face, you couldn't very well ignore it, right? Not indefinitely at least, and so he could keep trying to minimize his role in their separation all he wanted, but the fact was that he was probably the one who had started it all.

In fact, he had tried to deny it for so long that a little more and maybe he would have managed to convince himself, but the truth remained that he hadn't been the best husband for Bella to say the least, unless the new definition of a good husband was one that was never home and she barely saw of course, and so her deception shouldn't have hurt him so much, or rather, it shouldn't have '_surprised_' him so much. It had taken for him to understand that to finally see that all his anger or hatred feelings had been directed at the wrong person. Of course in his eyes it didn't excuse what she had done for all that, but at least it made the thought that she could have felt the need to turn to someone else more understandable, if not bearable.

Even if he wasn't trying to find himself any excuses either, the only thing he could say was that, as crazy or foolish as it seemed, he had always had the best intentions at heart, though Bella had obviously not understood or seen it his way, but he guessed he couldn't very well blame her for that either.

Now the way he had acted sounded stupid, maybe somewhat farfetched even some would think, but whatever he had done he could honestly say that it was only because he sincerely thought that this was the best for all of them. All he had ever wanted to do was to give Bella everything she wanted, everything she could need before she could even think about it or about asking for it, and that was probably why he had worked so hard… and neglected her in the process unfortunately.

Contrary to what he had thought at that time, it wasn't only to prove himself before his father that he went through that, or because he was a just another one of those 'power-hungry bastard' that only lived for their job like he had heard it on occasion, but because he had always _needed_ to prove himself before _Bella_, too, and probably even more than he had wanted to see it back then.

He had wanted to make sure that she wouldn't have to worry about a thing, he had needed to show her that he would always be there to take care of her, of them and he had been so obsessed with that that he hadn't realized that what Bella probably just wanted was the man she had married, _her husband_. And not a husband who practically worked himself into the grave, but one who would be there whenever she would need him and not only when _he_ saw fit and could find some time for her. She had needed a husband who could be entirely devoted to her and for whom she would be a first priority, and he hadn't been any of them, because if she had definitely been the most important person to him and _his_ number one priority in his mind and in his heart, it hadn't been reflected in his acts and that was certainly what had cost him her love.

It was surely clear enough to him now just how stupid that was, but back then he had still hung on to the idea that he _needed_ to do that for her -work so hard so she would never lack for anything or fear that she couldn't count on him- maybe because he had so often felt like so far he hadn't done a thing for her… expect maybe getting her pregnant. So granted somehow he _knew_ that it was a stupid reaction but he had always felt responsible for that, too, and even if he could never feel sorry for having his baby girl, it hadn't stopped him from feeling guilty for all that because after all, _he_ should have been more careful.

Then like it wasn't enough, the fact that their parents had paid for the marriage when he should have been the one to take care of that, or that her grandmother had paid for the house later, too, hadn't helped either. Nor had the fact that after having had Janelle, Bella had renounced to another one of her dreams… because of him. Or at least that was how he had perceived it.

He knew it was her own decision and he had right away supported her when she had decided to change her career plans so that she could spend more time with their baby and take care of her, but it hadn't stopped him, at least to some extent, from thinking that this was his doing once more for all that. In fact since then he had wondered so many times where she would be or what she would be doing now if it weren't because of him, that he could have already written a whole novel with all the possibilities, the most plausible being of course that she would have gone to Harvard -which was where she had wanted to go before getting involved with him- instead of following him and moving to Los Angeles, and that she would have probably not ended up pregnant and married at 21 either.

Yeah, knowing her she would certainly already be the most famous molecular biologist of Harvard by now if she had never met him. But anyway, the point was that most of what she had given up for him, whether it was directly his fault or not, were things that she would never get back, things _he_ would never be able to give her back, so he had tried to compensate as best as he could, but unfortunately on his way he had gotten a little sidetracked and had ended up losing sight of what was really important not only to him, but mostly to her.

In the end he had worked so much in fact that all he had managed to do was to ruin everything he had. His marriage, their relationship, the perfect life they had. Yes, everything.

So why hadn't he stopped when he still could, huh? Precisely because he hadn't even realized where he was leading them then, not before it was too late at least. And no matter how many times Bella had tried to make him understand that there was something wrong about that and that they were irremediably drifting apart, he hadn't seen a thing, or maybe just _refused_ to see, that seemed more like it.

The real wonder then was that she hadn't left him sooner in fact, considering what kind of unworthy husband he had been to her at that time. Or even more surprising that she had still been so intent on finding a solution to their problems and so often, when on the other hand it hadn't looked like _he_ was willing to make any efforts.

But since to him there was no real problem, why would he have bothered, huh?

Why try to 'fix' something that as far as he knew wasn't 'broken'?

So of course he was barely home, but that was because he had to work to assure them the best future possible and in his mind, like he had told her so many times when she had tried to talk him into slowing down a bit or spending more time with her and Janelle, he had been _sure_ that it was only a matter of time. Until he got things settled and running. Yeah, sure. He had proved her that, hadn't he?

But since then he had understood something that could probably explain why he had been so blind to what was coming his way: he had simply been so used to having her around, to always having her supporting him no matter what he decided or what he wanted to do -whether it was with his first job or later when he had abruptly decided to give up everything he had worked for until then and taken a chance with Emmett's firm without even knowing if it would work out or not- that it had never actually occurred to him that one day she could have enough of that life and just not want to go on like that anymore. How wrong he had been in the end and how much he had deluded himself, huh?

But that was his fault so he only had himself to blame for it, because after all _he_ was the one who shouldn't have assumed such a thing, or at least if that was really what he expected of her, he should have been able to listen to her own needs, too, which he could admit now, he hadn't always.

So see, he had _really_ thought about it a lot, sometimes to hours on end even but that didn't mean that he had found all the answers, or that he knew more now than back then what he could do to make things right, because ultimately he was still not sure that it was in his power to do so. _Bella_ was the one calling the shots now, she had proved that more than once, and considering how she reacted whenever she saw him lately, he wasn't sure that it was a good thing.

It was surely stupid to think about that now, but if there was one thing he missed from that time, it was having the '_control_'. He loved control. He craved control. He needed control. And right now? he didn't control a damned thing.

Sometimes he wasn't even able to rein over his own thoughts, so his life? It had been too long since he had felt he still had any control over it.

Nope, he was just going through it as best as he could, while waiting for what would happen next. And of course he perfectly knew what that was supposed to be, because clearly he and Bella couldn't go on like this indefinitely, even if sometimes he surely hoped that it could be so, just to not have to face the reality of the situation, but that didn't mean that he was willing to think about it too often. Imagining how he would react if she was to say they had reached the end of the road and she wanted to make their separation official, was just too scary sometimes for that.

Oh, boy, instead of merely hours it seemed like years to him already since he had woken up, and just thinking about the interminable hours he would have to pull at work today was enough to make him want to knock himself out for the rest of the day if he only could.

And like that wasn't sufficient yet, his body hurt everywhere. Probably even more than if he had had the good idea of sleeping directly on the floor or on the front seat of his jeep.

That was what he got for deciding to sleep at his best friend's instead of finding himself a nice and cozy hotel for the night. Which would have been a piece of cake since this was LA after all, but honestly the idea of spending the night in another impersonal room hadn't looked so appealing to him after the three he had already spent in Santa Barbara. The only problem was that everything hadn't happened exactly like he had planned it.

If Jasper was okay with him crashing at his place for two or three days, the best thing he had to offer him had been his couch since Mr. Whitlock '_The_ Great Architect' had recently had an epiphany of his own, and suddenly deciding that he didn't like it like it was, had started to renovate the whole apartment and of course had thought that beginning with the guest rooms would be the less inconvenient for him, thus his night on the couch. Not that he could blame him, after all Jasper couldn't very well foresee that Edward would ask him for such a favor just at that moment, but sleeping on the sofa wasn't really the most restful way to spend the night if you asked him.

But then on the other hand, he couldn't really complain either because it was definitely better than going 'home' -or more specifically to his sister's apartment where he had been staying since Bella had asked him to leave the house, while Rosalie herself was in Europe for her job- and having to go through another night with Kate there. It wasn't the bravest reaction of course that was for sure, but after three days talking business almost non-stop and negotiating contracts left and right or simply trying to make a good impression on potential new clients, added to what had happened on Monday night just before he left, he was really not ready to deal with her yet, even if he was also well aware that this small reprieve wouldn't last long unfortunately.

All in all, all he had done was to delay the inevitable since he perfectly knew he would see her in a few hours -he couldn't really do otherwise considering she was his secretary- and so they would probably have to talk about it then. Now what he was going to tell her he didn't know yet, but it wasn't as if he could let it go indefinitely either and even if he didn't want to hurt her, he needed to make things clear once and for all. He knew that, but that didn't mean that it would be easy for him to have that conversation. Boy, how much complicated could his life get, huh? Anyone would think that was the way he liked it.

Well, he would cross that bridge when he came to it, right now his only preoccupation should be to decide between either going back to sleep -though he doubted that that was still a possibility- or finally getting up, even if his alarm clock had yet to go off.

There was no need to say that of course he wished more than anything that he could stay in bed all day and forget about the rest of the world for a while, but he knew all too well that that wasn't an option. Unfortunately.

The only thing that comforted him though, was knowing that before having to face another hard and stressful day of work, he would see his daughter and that was probably the best way to start any day, even if spending forty-five minutes with her before taking her to school was definitely not enough to compensate for all the time he couldn't spend with her anymore because of the situation. But he wouldn't complain about this too much either because despite the fact that he hated not being able to be with her more often like he wished he could, he knew he was privileged nonetheless.

As a lawyer he saw firsthand how many couples who were getting divorced ended fighting over everything and mostly about the kids, and therefore how more often than not one of the parents was inevitably being prejudiced somewhat and refused the right to see their child or children, but fortunately he and Bella didn't have that kind of problem.

Though they weren't on the best terms lately, there was one point they always agreed upon, Janelle was their first priority no matter what. Nothing was more important than her well-being, and therefore even if she lived with Bella, he saw her whenever he wanted, without any conditions or restrictions. Of course he had to work around his crazy schedule to do so, but there was one thing that he never failed to do no matter what: except when he wasn't in town and couldn't do otherwise, he always made sure he could see her at least once a day. So either he was the one to take her to school, or he found a way to be there when she finished, or to come by the house before she went to bed.

He also spent one day of the weekend with her, and always at home so she wouldn't feel like he had really left her, or left their house. More importantly, somehow he didn't think that having her coming to see him at Rosalie's was really the best thing to do if he didn't want her to worry more than she probably already did. He would rather make sure that she kept thinking that there was nothing wrong between Bella and him. And as far as he was concerned, as long as there was no definitive decision made concerning their situation, he didn't see any need to let her know what was really happening between her parents, and so in the meantime, he would continue to do anything he could to reassure her and spare her this kind of hurt.

But now if it worked all right so far, it didn't mean that it was always the easiest thing to do, because seeing Janelle every day also meant seeing _Bella_ every time, too. Not that he didn't want to see her, quite the opposite in fact, but there were times when having to face her daily and knowing where they stood now, was really more than he could take. Add to that that she drove him crazy most of the time when he saw her and that he had to restrain himself to not do something he might regret afterwards, and it was a real wonder he hadn't lost his mind already and was still able to control himself so much. Well, he guessed he had found one thing he still managed to control after all. Maybe there was still hope so.

Indeed, their relationship might have changed a lot, but one thing hadn't, and he honestly doubted that it would ever. To Edward, Bella Swan Cullen was still the most beautiful woman he had ever met, so it wasn't surprising at all that she could still have the same effect on him even after all these years. And of course the fact that with the summer just around the corner, she seemed to be wearing less and less clothes on whenever he saw her didn't help at all, that was for sure. If she kept on that way he wouldn't even be surprised if one of these days he found her behind the front door sporting nothing more than one of her dark blue teeny weenie thongs -god, how he loved her in blue- and a pretty smile.

Nah, who was he trying to kid here, huh? Not surprised, yeah, sure! That was clearly another one of his many and favorite fantasies, but he would probably have a heart attack before even being able to utter a single word or any appreciative comment if she had to pull that off. Not the best way to die in his opinion of course, but that didn't mean that he couldn't keep fantasizing, right?

The only real inconvenient about that was that he often ended frustrated and very much unsatisfied, but what could he say? He was weak and most of the times he couldn't help himself no matter how hard he tried. He was proving it right now with all the crazy thoughts that were currently running through his little head and that he was unable to stop. And just thinking about Bella now, or wondering what she would be wearing to greet him later was of course enough to bring back to life again a certain part of his anatomy that as far as he knew had probably been alert, up and ready before he had even awoken and opened an eye himself.

Which was not necessarily the best sensation he could experience right now, he thought as he tried to change position to get a little more at ease. Of course, lying on his stomach couldn't very well help the matter, he reflected when it became _painfully_ obvious to him that once the _process_ had started, it would take more of him than just '_wish_ for it to disappear' to solve his problem. Boy, he would probably be walking around with an all too visible hard on all day now. Unless he took care of it of course, he concluded shamelessly and tried to flip on his back to better 'help' himself.

So what if he was a 28 years old guy and still needed to resort to that, huh? He was only human after all. How could he…?

HOLY SHIT! he suddenly yelped when the only thing he felt under himself when he finally rolled completely over, was air.

Sure it didn't take him more than a second to understand what was going to happen, and not more than two before he connected with the floor, _hard_, but that didn't mean that he was anywhere prepared for the impact. The instant the pain registered in his brain though, he couldn't help chanting all the possible colorful curses he knew, and then some more just for good measure when he tried to sit up and realized just how much such a simple and stupid fall could hurt.

Yep, he was definitely human and made of flesh and bones if the ache he felt was any indication, he deduced like he had still had any doubts before. Man, that would certainly bruised, he growled then as he rubbed his sore ass and back.

Well, he sighed, obviously fate had decided for him once more and now he had no real other choice than getting up finally, right?

So it looked like all he had to do then was choosing between heading to the bathroom and taking a very much needed cold shower, or going directly to the kitchen and see what Jasper had to offer for breakfast, he pondered as he switched off his alarm clock before it could go off.

If the latter sounded quite appealing since there was no questioning how hungry he could be, going for that shower seemed clearly the most logical thing to do since he didn't really feel like walking around in his state much longer. And to add to that there was also of course the possibility that he could come across Jasper, though admittedly he knew the chances it could happen were probably pretty slim because he was definitely not the morning type, but he was not willing to take the risk or to give him a free show for all that, so if he could do otherwise, all the better.

Yet as if on cue, he heard a sound coming from down the hallway and as quick as he was to react, he barely had time to grab the pants he had thrown haphazardly at the feet of the couch the previous night before he saw Jasper emerging from his bedroom, hair tousled and spiking on end and eyes still partially shut, like keeping them open was requiring a superhuman effort of him. But then the instant he took in his friend's presence he seemed to finally wake up completely, much to Edward's dismay. Like he needed him to be fully alert now, huh?

"Morning!" he mumbled, suppressing a yawn and scratching the side of his head.

"Yeah… good morning!" Edward replied and tried to turn around so that he could pull his pants over his boxers before Jasper could see anything, but oh, surprise, that was just the moment he chose to enter the living-room fully and plant himself just in front of him, making it impossible for Edward to avoid him. Or miss the way he smirked and raised a brow.

"Hard night, huh?" Jasper asked him, though the words sounded more like a statement than a question.

It was evident to him that the night had been 'hard' in more ways than one, even if Edward was, unsuccessfully, trying to conceal the 'evidence' as best as he could into his pants. Now he didn't even need to ask why or who he had been thinking about to end in such state, but if you asked him it would probably be easier to try to fit the Piz Tower in a box of Krispy Kreme Donuts than to try and hide the obvious hard on the poor guy was sporting.

Wait, Edward was trying to hide _his "__**Iz**__"__ Tower_ into his pants, didn't that sound even better? he chuckled inwardly like what he had just found was the funniest thing in the world, and even if he knew that Bella hated being called "Iz" about as much as she could dislike her full name.

Well boy, whatever he wanted to call it, someone really needed to go back home, and make that soon if he didn't want to implode.

"What?" Edward all but grunted at first, still struggling with his zipper and so not getting the drift, but then he took one look down where Jasper was still looking and he didn't need more to understand.

And here he was hoping that he wouldn't notice, huh? Sure.

Great, that was just great, wasn't it? Of all the times he had to get up with a mammoth erection, it had to be when he was sleeping at Jasper's. Couldn't have happened when he was alone in Santa Barbara, huh? Okay, it _had_ happened there, too, but dammit, he _was _alone then, and he had had no problem taking care of that.

Not that it was really _that_ embarrassing to him now or anything since it was quite a natural reaction for most men, Jasper included probably even if that man was far from being normal if he said so himself, but knowing him, he would be all too happy to make fun of him, or downright humiliate him as much as he could now that such great opportunity had presented itself.

"Man… really, that's impressive!" he praised and wiggled his eyebrows teasingly, the evident amusement in his voice only confirming Edward's suspicions.

Even greater, now the shower would have to wait because there was no way he would let Jasper have even more fun at his expense, and he knew all too well that he would probably completely crack up if he saw him running to the bathroom to alleviate his 'discomfort'.

"Shut up!" Edward groaned, walking past him and taking the direction of the kitchen instead, but the other man followed and caught up with him right away, proving that he was apparently not the least fazed by his attitude. Yet Edward didn't even care anymore at that moment because suddenly he had only one thing in mind. Coffee.

He needed his dose of coffee. Caffeine was good. Caffeine was his drug and just was he needed to start this day, which evidently was going to be even worse than what he had first thought.

"What? _Katie _isn't giving you any lately?" Jasper continued like he hadn't heard a thing and even laughed openly at his own taunt.

"Very funny, Jasper… forget about me, will you!" Edward shot him an annoyed look, not finding the comment amusing at all, and pushed him out of the way when he blocked his path to the counter.

You would think that he would be used by now considering that ever since he had told Jasper about Kate he had been teasing him almost non-stop, but really he just couldn't take it right now.

Grabbing a mug, he couldn't help grimacing when he noticed that Jasper had an almost full pot of coffee already made and that that meant he would have to do with it. Old coffee was definitely not his favorite, but he couldn't very well waste it, right?

"What are you even doing up so soon anyway, huh?" he inquired next as he placed the cup in the microwave and heated up the cold liquid he had just poured.

"You're asking?… I'm sure you woke up the whole neighborhood with the way you cursed not five minutes ago!… what, did you fall or something?" Jasper admonished playfully and then asked, though he was pretty much sure that that was what had happened.

He knew all too well how much sleeping on that 'thing' he called a couch could be uncomfortable or how the slightest wrong move could send you to kiss the floor. It was definitely 'in' but not practical at all, that was for sure. Which was probably why he should really think about changing it after all, he reflected suddenly. What was one more thing anyway considering all he had already planned to change in the apartment, or all he had invested in the renovation?

"What do you think, huh?… your couch isn't exactly a king size bed!" Edward replied sardonically but Jasper chose to ignore the sarcasm in his tone.

Whoa, beside being horny, someone was obviously very grumpy, too, this morning.

"On your back I hope!" he said instead with a knowing smirk even if Edward didn't seem to get his meaning at first.

"What?"

"Your fall… I hope it was on your back… I wouldn't want you to cause yourself any irreversible damages!" he elucidated, finding it very difficult now to not just burst out into laughter. But what could he say? Just picturing Edward falling on his front in the state he was in was definitely too much to hold. The poor man would have probably broken his _precious tower_ in two the instant he would have come into contact with the floor.

"Go back to sleep, Jaz… you know being up so early doesn't agree with you… and it's definitely too soon for you!" Edward advised with a roll of his eyes.

God, he really didn't need Jasper and all his craziness and weird sense of humor first thing in the morning. Not before he could have his coffee at least, he was definitely not that courageous, he thought as at the same time he retrieved his mug and made sure the liquid wasn't too hot.

"Not that much… what are you still doing here anyway?… shouldn't you have left at least ten minutes ago?" Jasper questioned more seriously this time when he remembered what Edward had told him the day before.

"What are you talking about?… I still have practically an hour!" Edward asked, looking at his friend like he had finally lost his mind. Obviously the man hadn't slept enough because he clearly didn't know what he was saying anymore.

"Not if you're supposed to be at Bella's around eight!" Jasper just said, and Edward had to literally refrain himself from just punching him square in the face when he heard his '_at __Bella__'s_'. It was not _at __Bella__'s_, moron. Granted he hadn't paid for the house, but it didn't change the fact that it was still his house, _their_ house. They weren't divorced yet.

"Jasper, it's what? 6:50... Why the hell would I need to leave so soon?" Edward sighed and replied, clearly getting impatient by now.

He was sure that Jasper supposedly wanted to go somewhere with that, but for the life of him he just couldn't see where yet. So preparing himself for whatever Jasper's deranged mind had come up with, he continued to sip his coffee and waited for the worst.

"Uh… actually it's 7:50 already!" Jasper informed him and showed him his watch to prove his point, just before he took a prudent step back, afraid to see Edward jump and beat him as soon as he would realize he was late.

"Dammit, how is that possible?… your clock in the lounge says it's not even seven!" Edward cried out and the next second dropped his cup into the sink, practically breaking it into pieces while coffee splashed everywhere.

This had to be some fucking joke, he thought as he practically made a mad dash to the living room where his suitcase and all his things still were. He just _couldn't_ be late. Not today. Not once more.

"Well, I guess I could have an explanation, but I'm not sure you're going to like it!" Jasper told him as he followed into the room. No, he was not going to like it _at all_.

"No kidding?… what the hell could be wrong with that clock, huh?" Edward deadpanned and glared at Jasper from over his shoulder, before he proceeded to search for his clothes.

"Well, see… the thing is… we kind of had this '_Good Luck with the new job_' party planned for Joe at the office yesterday afternoon and well… I was supposed to keep him from coming back before everything was set up… and so, uh… since I knew we would come here for lunch before… I just put back that clock here… just to be sure, you know!… I didn't want him to try to leave too soon!" Jasper answered, already bracing himself for what he knew was coming.

It had seemed like a good idea at that moment, and it had worked pretty well since he and Joe Barton, one of his colleagues who was being transferred, had left just when they had to and he hadn't needed to bother with any other excuses or lies to keep him there a little longer than necessary thanks to his little trick, the only problem was that he had totally forgotten to put the clock forward again, and now Edward was obviously going to pay the consequences. Or he would probably if Edward could put his hands on him, and knowing the guy he was certainly already thinking about it.

So what if technically it was his entire fault, he couldn't always think about everything after all, right?

"Jasper, you're an idiot!" Edward hissed as he continued to rummage through his suitcase, trying to find his dark pants.

God, where were they? Like he had any more time to waste.

Oh, the hell with them, he wasn't supposed to have any important meeting today anyway, he would just go in jeans then, he decided as he grabbed the first ones he found amidst his nearly one week worth of clothes.

The shirt now. He needed a shirt. Oh, and clean boxers, too. Socks? God, he sounded like a 5 years old child trying to dress himself. Even his daughter could probably do better right now. This was definitely not his day.

"Hey, I couldn't very well anticipate that you would use precisely that one to set your alarm clock on or whatever it is you did, now could I?" Jasper defended himself as best as he could when he read the same hour on the two clocks and understood where the problem had come from, but Edward didn't seem to really be listening to him anymore or even care.

"I'm dead… I promised her I wouldn't be late and… I'm so dead!" Edward mumbled to himself, knowing full well that with the way Bella had insisted on the phone the day before over the fact that he had to be on time if he wanted to see his daughter more than just a few minutes, she would definitely not appreciate him doing exactly the opposite. Besides, somehow he didn't think that she would care either if it was his fault or Jasper's. She would probably think that he was just making this up to get away with it in fact, since he wasn't even supposed to sleep at Jasper's to begin with.

"C'mon, it can't be that bad!" his friend chuckled, having some difficulties picturing 'Little Bella' threatening Edward's life in any way, not even only verbally, no matter what he could do.

She just didn't seem like the type anyway. At least not the Bella he knew, she was just too sweet for that. But then again, maybe he didn't know her that well, even if technically he had known her for as long as he had known Edward, since back when he had met him you couldn't have one without having the other. If he really did, he would probably understand what had happened between Edward and her.

So far all he knew was what Edward himself had told him, which wasn't really much. They weren't on the same page anymore, he had said, and therefore had decided to take a step back, see where they could go from there apparently. But Jasper suspected that there was way more to it than what Edward had wanted to admit. And something big, otherwise he was sure that Edward would have never accepted to leave so easily and it wouldn't be so hard for him to talk about it either, no matter how many times he tried to make him open up to him. Most of all, he would have certainly never left his daughter, no matter how strained his relationship with Bella could be, if there weren't something else.

"It surely can, believe me… it's not like Bella and I were getting along so well lately… and this won't help!" Edward contradicted and finally entered the bathroom once he had everything he needed. '_Not getting along_' was a clear understatement in fact and he really didn't need to add more to their already complicated and tense situation.

No, that was the last thing he actually needed.

"Edward … you can still be not _too_ late… what's half an hour anyway?" Jasper stated, not really understanding what the problem was, or why Edward was making a big deal out of this, considering that if he left soon, he could still save the day and not be later than that. Besides, it wasn't as if it would be the first time anyway and Bella had to be used to that side of Edward by now, after all she had lived or at least been with the man for more than a decade now.

"Half an hour less with my daughter, that's what it is!" Edward threw back from behind the now closed door, before quickly taking off the little clothes he had on and jumping under the shower.

Oh, man, this was probably going to be the shortest shower he would ever take in his whole life, but hopefully it would be still enough to take care of his still quite present problem. Like he had said, it usually took more than that to get rid of it, but he really didn't have time for that this morning finally.

That would do just fine, wouldn't it? '_Hey, __Bella__, sorry I'm late but I woke up with a monstrous hard on and I just had to beat off in the shower before coming! Hope you don't mind though!_'. No doubt she would appreciate the excuse.

"Okay… hurry then… what do you want me to say?… beside I'm sorry I mean!" Jasper just shrugged even if Edward couldn't see him, and then marched back to his bedroom thanking God once more for not being in Edward's situation.

There was one point he had all right though, it was definitively _too_ early for him yet, moreover considering he didn't have any appointment before ten in the morning and _he_ didn't have any daughter or even wife to go and see or bother with either. He wasn't crazy enough to tie the knot, he didn't even want to think about it. What's more, the woman who could put up or live with him was probably not even born yet, or if she was, she was hiding herself pretty damn well the little witch, and he seriously doubted that he would ever meet her.

When Edward finally exited the bathroom, showered, dressed and feeling a little better, he wasn't surprised to see that Jasper had gotten back to sleep. All the better if you asked him, otherwise he would have probably made him even more late with some other stupid comments or stories he had the secret and was the only one to understand or find interesting, and as far as he was concerned, he had done more than enough already.

Going back to the living room as soon as he got out, he checked his files quickly, making sure to not forget any of them, and once he had taken his cell phone, his jacket, his sunglasses and his keys, he made his way out.

Less than a minute later however, he was passing the door again, scolding himself for being so distracted. How could he have forgotten about that?

Ah, here it was, he said triumphantly when he spotted the blue bag that contained his daughter's gift. What would he look like, showing up there late _and_ without it, huh?

Once he had it though, he couldn't help but pause briefly and consider taking the second one, too, but eventually he decided against it. Once more. He never gave those presents to the one they were meant for anyway, he didn't know why he kept buying them then, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe one day she would know and see them though.

After having made sure one last time that he really had everything, he left, hoping that everything would he alright and that his tardiness wouldn't cause any kind of conflict between Bella and him.

Better late than never, they say, right?

Yet if he had known at that instant what would be waiting for him there, he would have probably thought otherwise and not shown up at all. Not that day at least.

**TBC…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN**: Oh-kay, here goes the next chapter.

**iluv..twilight2:** Yes, Edward thinks Bella cheated on him, and yes, the 'she' she's referring to is indeed Kate… as for the rest, everything will be clearer soon, but yeah, let's just say, communication is not Edward and Bella's strong suit! That's for sure! Thanks for the review! (sorry for the typo on your name but I don't know why, the board keep eating part of it every time I try to correct it :? I just don't get it!)

**Jctypes**: You're definitely on the right track, and Edward's relationship with Kate will be explained very soon! Things might not be as they looked like though! That's all I'm going to say for now! Thanks for reviewing as well!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**, hmm, who says she did anything, lol No, kidding, she might have done something, but like for Edward's relationship with Kate, things might be different than what they can look like at first glance! Thanks for reviewing this chapter, too! Hope you'll like this one as well, even if you might hate me by the end of it… but no worries, I'll make everything right… eventually!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter two**

Twenty three minutes. He was already twenty three minutes late, Bella told herself as she looked for the umpteenth time at her watch.

Why wasn't she even surprised, huh?

What? Did she _really_ think that just because he hadn't seen his daughter in three days it would be any different this time and he would make an effort to be here on time?

Yeah, sure… he had obviously things more important to do this morning than that, she thought once more, remembering the possibilities that not surprisingly all included his bleached siliconed bimbo.

Like always, she had tried to be more reasonable and not let the anger consume her. She had tried to find him every kind of excuses that wouldn't make him look like a _'bastard'_ who didn't seem to care about what he was doing to his daughter, but when she had seen her child, her face nearly glued to the window so that she wouldn't miss his arrival and her smile gradually fading because she didn't see him yet, it had definitely been more than she could take.

The little girl had been ready for what seemed like hours to her, and so she couldn't understand why her father wasn't there yet, and that was the instant Bella had felt like really killing him. Janelle didn't deserve to be kept waiting like this. Just like she didn't deserve to have to reconsider her position in her father's life and wonder if he hadn't _forgotten_ about her, like Bella had heard her ask.

In all objectivity Bella _knew_ that Edward could never forget about his daughter, he definitely loved her too much for that, but god, couldn't he see that his behavior was hurting her? She was too young to have to go through this and too young to understand it.

She hadn't stopped thinking about that ever since she had heard the question, and though she knew that Janelle wouldn't even remember having asked it once she would actually see her father, and even less resent him or anything, _she_ couldn't be so forgiving herself, not when she had to witness her daughter's confused feelings firsthand.

And of course that didn't bode well for their imminent meeting. She wouldn't be surprised if they fought once more. That seemed to be the only thing they were able to do lately anyway, she reminded herself and already braced herself for what she knew was coming. And yet that didn't mean she liked it.

It had taken her some convincing but once she had promised her that she would call her as soon as Edward would be here, she had finally managed to make Janelle move from her spot behind the window, and she could only smile now as she saw her playing and talking with her dolls like nothing at all had happened.

It still impressed her though, to see that capacity she had to forget so easily about everything that could have upset her a minute ago when she should be used to it by now since after all, as far as she remembered, Janelle had always been that way. She wished she could be like that, too, sometimes, it would definitely make her life easier, she mused as she quietly closed the door to her daughter's bedroom and made her way downstairs, wondering what she could do with her time herself for now.

It didn't take her long to find the answer to that question though, when she reached the end of the stairs and saw what was waiting for her just in front of her.

The hallway opened directly over the living room, the two spaces being only separated by an arcade-type wall, and so it was kind of difficult to not see the mess that was that room. There were toys everywhere and knowing her daughter, it would require too much patience out of her to convince her to collect them up and bring them back upstairs, so there was no discussing who would have to do it if she didn't.

Well, at least it would occupy her mind until her dear husband finally decided to make an appearance, wouldn't it? she thought as she grabbed the large plastic box that served to keep the different playthings and started to fill it.

In the end, she actually occupied herself _so well_ and she was so absorbed in her thoughts, that she didn't even hear the car parking in the driveway when Edward finally arrived, nor did she hear him entering noiselessly.

* * *

Reaching the door, Edward didn't even bother to knock or ring. He never did, he and Bella having decided from the beginning that it would be better that way so Janelle wouldn't really realize that her father wasn't living there any longer, and so he directly entered the house, ready to call out to Bella or his daughter, when he was stopped dead on his tracks as soon as he closed the door behind him and chanced a look in the lounge on his right.

'_Holy cow_' he exclaimed to himself, though the words didn't actually escape his mouth. '_What was she doing? Trying to kill him_?'

There, her back turned to him and wearing nothing more than one of her very tight leggings and a blue top he didn't recognize yet, stood Bella bent at the waist and consequently giving him a very clear view of her perfect rear, as she was apparently busy picking up Janelle's toys that were scattered everywhere on the floor.

Guess he would have to thank his daughter for being so messy later for once, huh? he found himself thinking briefly as his eyes trained on her rounded bottom and he involuntarily licked his now very dry lips.

Yet all thoughts of her or of anything else left his mind the instant Bella moved a little closer and he caught the particular whiff that floated in the air. Vanilla and strawberry, oh, dear Lord.

Memories hitting him full force the second it reached his nostrils, an image of Bella pressed against the shower tile wall with him behind her thrusting into her tight body, with the mixed scent of strawberry and sex surrounding them everywhere, all of a sudden popped inside his head and he had to nearly bite his lip to the blood to stop himself from charging forward, or just groaning out loud.

Oh, god, how he wished he could just grab her hips in his hands and bring her to him and just…

"Uh… Hi!" abruptly pulled out of his reverie, Edward coughed and awkwardly said when Bella unexpectedly turned around and he realized that she had caught him staring at her. Or more precisely at her behind.

Not that the sight of her front was any less perturbing. Jeez, where had she gotten that top from?

Must be Janelle's, he concluded when he eyed the material that barely concealed her full breasts, because there was simply no way that teeny tight thing could be meant for an adult. No, simply no frigging way. And please, she didn't really think that she could go out for her run with only _that_ on, right? For heaven's sake, if he concentrated enough he was sure that he could even see her nipples through that thing and her bra, and clearly distinguish the light brown color of their areolas.

But maybe he shouldn't concentrate so much, should he? Yeah, right, now go tell that to his eyes!

Oh, boy, couldn't he be more obvious? he suddenly thought as he heard Bella clear her throat and he finally brought his gaze up to her face.

She only stared at him during a few seconds, an eyebrow raised and without saying a word, but Edward was sure that his face wouldn't have been redder if his own daughter had caught him doing something he definitely shouldn't have. Not the best way to start this visit, wasn't it?

"You're late!" Bella eventually said for all greeting, wondering briefly if she was imagining things or if he had really been _checking her out_.

Yeah, sure, like that could happen now.

However that was quickly forgotten when she paid a little more attention to him and not to what he had been doing, her heart giving a not so unexpected start at the sight.

Good lord, why did he always have to look so hot and gorgeous? she thought as she took in his dark jeans, his white shirt, that did nothing to hide the well-defined chest that she knew lied beneath, and his leather jacket. Why was he even wearing that jacket when they were in May if it weren't to torture her, huh? She so knew that he was doing it on purpose just to remind her of what she had lost, it couldn't be any other way. She didn't even think he had looked _that_ good when they were together. Well, obviously the separation suited him just fine, didn't it?

Unaware of her current thoughts, Edward looked at her wearily and sighed, all the excitation he had felt a minute ago draining from his body the instant he realized that this would _definitely_ be one of those days where everything he did, or said, would only irritate her and lead to the same: another fight.

God, he was so tired of those, so tired of fighting with her and regretting it afterwards. Why couldn't they just have a normal conversation for once in a while, without cries, shouts or inevitably creating another scene? Was it too much to ask of them to be able to do so each time they saw each other, and not only when they were in Janelle's presence and they only behaved and stopped being at each other's throats for her sake?

Sometimes he thought it would be better if they didn't see each other at all or if he didn't come for a while, but then he thought about Janelle and he knew he couldn't survive without seeing her, or if he had to be apart from her for too long. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he could survive without seeing Bella either, but at least with Janelle he still had a choice in the matter. She was his daughter and he knew full well that no matter how much they could disagree on all the rest, Bella would never take that from him and she would never forbid him from seeing his child. Just like he knew _she_ would always be more than happy to see him.

Some other times he also couldn't help but wonder where they would be now, he and Bella, if they hadn't had Janelle. At times it seemed to him that the only thing that still tied them together now was their daughter, so he thought it was legitimate to wonder if Bella would not completely refuse to see him if she weren't there. Would she still speak to him? Would they still be married despite the circumstances? Or would she just have already started over with her life, with someone else, if it weren't for their child? To be honest, even after all this time he wasn't sure yet about the answer to that question, but just thinking that she could have cast him away without a second thought if they had been the only ones involved was definitely too painful for him to consider it too frequently. That, and the fact that he didn't even know where he would be right now himself if it weren't for the love and comfort that having his daughter in his life brought him daily. He would have lost it a long time ago, certainly the minute he had lost Bella in fact, if it weren't for her. But he guessed that now was definitely not the time to dwell on that, not with the way Bella was looking at him right now.

"Don't start… I just got caught up in a… " Edward tried to pacify and tell her that he had been caught in a traffic jam in the way, to top everything else of course, but he quickly understood that Bella wouldn't have any of it this morning. So fight it would be. Yippee, just what he needed.

"Look, I don't care… save it, okay!" she stopped him and mumbled probably more harshly than she intended it to be, but she was really finding it too hard to deal with him considering the way he still made her feel each and every time she saw him, even after all this years _**and**_ moreover so soon after her dream.

The more she avoided looking at him or talking to him then, the sooner she would forget about it or how good he had felt in her arms again even if it wasn't real, but she knew that to be able to do so she needed to put as much distance as possible between the two of them. Not that there wasn't enough already, but being on the defensive and appearing emotionally detached was the only way she knew right now.

"Janelle… come down, honey… your father is here!" she then called out, loud enough to be sure to be heard.

Almost right away, they heard a childish squeal and the sound of footfalls rushing down the stairs, and Bella couldn't help feeling a little jealous when she saw Edward's face literally lighting up at the sight of their running daughter.

How long had it been since he had looked at _her_ that way, with such love and exaltation in his eyes, with such a brilliant and sincere smile on his lips? She couldn't even remember, all she knew was that it had been an awfully long time since she had seen his eyes hungrily roam her face like she was the most beautiful or precious thing in the world to him. And if she hadn't realized how much she missed it before, she definitely did now.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Janelle shrieked as soon as she saw her father and without thinking about it twice, hurled herself into his arms.

"Hey, sweetie!… oh, god, I missed you!" Edward picked her up right away and holding her tightly to him, he twirled around with her in his arms, so happy to finally see his baby girl again. Above all, the feel of her in his embrace made him momentarily forget about Bella's reaction a minute ago and how it had stung to hear her say she didn't care, and he could only thank God for the short reprieve. "I missed you soooo much!" he then repeated and involuntarily locked eyes with his wife as he voiced the words again, only to close them instinctively when she looked away the instant they made contact. You would think that after all this time he would be used to having her rejecting him in any way, but no, it still hurt like hell.

She certainly didn't care about that either, but sometimes he really wished she could only know how much he missed _her_, too. Each time he had to go away, it was pure torture to not see them _both_, even if it was only for a few days.

He loved his job really, he loved the thrill it gave him, and he loved being able to visit so many different cities, too. He didn't even mind that much the long hours of work most of the time, or the ones he spent in planes or in his car, but if there was one thing that he definitely hated about it, it was this: the fact that he always had to leave them both behind. He had hated it when he was still with them, he hated it all the more now since it cut even more his time with them.

"Miss'd you too!" his daughter wrapped her arms around his neck as tight as she could and kissed his cheek.

"Not more than I did, I'm sure!" he insisted playfully as he showered her face with little kisses that had her writhing in his arms.

No, she could certainly not miss him more than he missed her. She was all he had now. All that was left of Bella and him, of their once great love, and he cherished her all the more for that.

"Daddy, stop… you're all bristly!" Janelle complained as she pushed his face away, but she couldn't help giggling nonetheless at the same time.

"I know… didn't have time to shave this morning!… I'm sorry, but I promise I'll do better next time!" he admitted and then tenderly ruffled her hair.

He knew how his daughter didn't like it when he was 'all bristly' as she said, but it had been that or being even more late and with the way Bella had greeted him as it was, he didn't even want to imagine what she would have done then. Maybe she would have tried to kill him on the spot as soon as he would have crossed the threshold, it wouldn't even have surprised him.

"Is that for me?" Janelle demanded next as she tried to turn around in his arms and get a glimpse of the bag she had seen in his hands before greeting him, but that he was now involuntarily hiding behind her back.

"Of course… who else would it be for otherwise, huh?" Edward said, and holding her up against his hip with one arm now, he brought the bag in front of her and let her look inside, pleased when he saw her eyes blink first and then open up as wide as saucers.

"ALVIIIIN! YES!" she screamed as she saw the big plush all red and beige chipmunk, and then immediately encircled her arms around her father's neck again, shrieking happily for all she was worth.

The bag had looked huge before, but now that she could see what was inside she understood why. She was sure that her father had to have picked the biggest stuffed animal of the whole shop, there was no doubt in her mind.

"Do you like it?" Edward asked, though with the way she was practically cutting his air supply he pretty much knew the answer.

"Yes… thank you sooooooooo much… you're the best of the best of the bestest, daddy!" she beamed in thanks and kissed his cheek repeatedly and soundly.

Like it? She loved it. She loved it all the more actually since she didn't have it before and had been asking for it ever since the movie had been released. And now she could join _him_ to all the other animals that adorned her room. Simba, Nala, Pumba, Winnie the Pooh, Tiger, Eeyore, Nemo and all the others. In fact she had so many already that she would certainly not be able to draw a list without seeing them all again first.

"You're welcome… I'm glad you like it!… but you'll have to wait until tonight to play with it."

"Why? Are we going now?" she questioned as she saw her mother take the bag from her father when he handed it to her and place it on the couch in the living room for now.

Tonight wouldn't come soon enough. She wanted to put him with the others and introduce him to _her friends_. She was sure they would get along just fine. Too bad it was a school day and she had to leave. But mommy would take care of him in the meantime, she knew that.

"Not yet, sweetie… I think we have a little problem to solve first!" Edward told her, looking at her with a little smile.

"What?"

"Your shoes… you're wearing two different shoes, sweetheart!" he informed, wondering if she had really not realized that fact, or if she knew and she just didn't care.

As far as he was concerned that was probably one of the first things he had noticed when he had seen her. Which wasn't really surprising considering that the shoes were not only different in color but clearly in shape, too. However one look at her face now and the way she instinctively nibbled her bottom lip and he had all the answer he needed. She definitely knew.

Janelle had really hoped that her parents wouldn't notice the difference, but obviously it hadn't been enough. She had tried but she couldn't find the two blue ones, the ones she wanted to wear with her blue sundress and therefore she had thought it would be okay to put one of her black tennis with one of the blue. Dark blue and black, that was almost the same color, wasn't it? At least it was for her, but her father didn't seem to think so.

"I don't find the other blue one!" she eventually told him with a cute little pout that had his heart melting.

"Have you looked under your bed, honey… or under mine?" Bella provided before Edward could speak again, sure that that was where the other one had to be.

Knowing her daughter, she certainly had looked once in her closet and then left it at that when she couldn't find the shoe. She wasn't really one to like to complicate things, so she would even less when all she could think about was seeing her father again.

Of course almost right away she saw the little girl shake her head, confirming she had been right, but she missed how Edward perceptibly winced when she said 'mine', talking about what _he_ still considered as _their_ bed no matter what.

Go on, why don't you twist the knife in the wound some more, will you? I didn't get enough the first time around!

"No!" Janelle admitted as Edward lowered her to the floor again.

"Well, go and look then… but hurry back before I start missing you again!" Edward gently ordered with a smile as he pushed her in the direction of the stairs.

He couldn't help biting his lip to stop himself from saying something in front of his daughter though, when he heard Bella all but snort audibly next to him. "What?" he turned to her and asked in a sigh as soon as Janelle was out of sight.

"You missed her so much that you weren't even able to arrive sooner so that you could spend some more time with her." she accused unruffled, knowing how much Janelle had wanted those few precious moments she could have with her father before going to school but how now with him being so late, all she would have was the short car journey. Definitely not enough in her book considering, that their girl hadn't seen him in more than three days with him being away for another of his business trips. If that was the truth of course.

"Will you just stop, dammit, Bella!… I was just late… do we have to go through this every time it happens?" Edward retorted, understanding where she was coming from, but refusing to make a big scene out of it.

He knew that he could certainly not spend as much time with his daughter right now as he had first planned but he had every intention to make up for it, and no later than tonight after school. Yet, listening to her it sounded like he had done it on purpose, or worse didn't even care. Didn't she know by now that if he could he would spend all his days with his baby girl and not mind about anything else? Besides, if she was going to make a scene each and every time he was late, she had something else coming because Edward perfectly knew it was not the first time he was and it would certainly not be the last.

"We wouldn't have to, if you were able to read your watch and be here on time!" she countered sternly, refusing to admit, even to herself why she was so upset right at that moment. Why she was always kind of upset with him every time she saw him in fact.

But of course, her being in this state didn't help Edward to stay calm either.

"Well… I would be here on time every frigging morning if you hadn't thrown me out of the house to begin with!" he bit out, losing a little bit more of his composure with each passing second.

Why couldn't she just leave it alone? Oh, yeah, he knew why, that would be too easy for '_Miss __**I**__ always do everything so perfectly_'.

Oh, but maybe he should tell her, too, that his _fucking_ watch was still somewhere in the house. Probably under _her_ damn bed as well, he snorted inwardly. But she wouldn't like that, would she?

"Oh, now it's gonna be _my_ fault!" Bella stated incredulously, not believing he was using that to justify his actions. God only knew what he had been doing to make himself late, but now he was going to take it out on her? No frigging way!

"Who else's then?" he scoffed, like that was the most normal or logical thing in the world. And to him it was, because they certainly wouldn't have to go through all those arrangements and trouble to be able to both spend as much time as possible with Janelle without disrupting her equilibrium, or at least the least possible, if _she_ hadn't decided she wanted _some space_ first. Yeah, some space, sure, what she wanted was to be free to do what pleased her again, that was what this was all about. Who did she think she was kidding?

"First of all… I didn't _throw you out_ of the house… I-I thought it would be best for… b-both of us to have some time to decide what we really wanted to do… and… it was supposed to be a temporary situation, you know that!" she contradicted, even if the words sounded stupid now voiced out loud.

If she was really honest she could admit that she had only _hoped_ it would be enough to arrange their problems, because she couldn't see anything else to do. So she had stupidly deluded herself into believing that some time away from each other would have made him realize what he could lose and that she and Janelle were the most important people in his life and all that mattered to him in the end, and then that it would have maybe been enough to make him reconsider his relationship with his dear secretary. And if he had, she would have certainly forgiven him, just like she knew that despite everything, she still probably would now if he asked her to take him back and forget about the past -how weak could someone be, huh? Yeah, she knew- but obviously she had been all wrong, because Edward didn't seem to want to make things right any more now than he had back then.

Janelle might be more important than anyone else to him, there was no doubt as far as she was concerned, but _she_ wasn't, not anymore, she had learned that the hard way.

"Yeah, sure… seven months, Bella… are _seven_ months not enough for you to know what you want?" he replied, his tone quite more brittle than he wanted it, but if there was one topic they should better not enter right now, it was definitely this one.

A temporary situation to Edward was a few days, maybe a week, but definitely not _seven months_. Not seven months waiting for the other shoe to drop and the moment when she would stop playing with him and decide that it was finally definitive, while praying at the same time that it would never happen.

What _she_ wanted? What a fucking joke! Bella thought. What she wanted was certainly not to share her husband with some blonde bimbo who thought she was the center of the universe and who walked the world like she owned it, while destroying families on her way without the slightest shame or remorse. No, what she wanted hadn't mattered in a long time, so why would that change now?

"I can't believe you… how can you look at me straight in the eye and act like _I_ am the problem here?… you know why I did what I did, Edward!" she charged back angrily, forgetting for a moment that her daughter would be here any minute now and that she could walk in on them fighting.

"Nope, I must have forgotten about that part, because I have absolutely no idea anymore why you do the things you do!… you know _I_ never asked for this, it was your idea not mine… so don't try to put the blame on me now, because I'm sure as hell we could have worked it out differently!"

"Of course we could have… wouldn't that have been just convenient for you?… that way you could have your cake and eat it… now it's such a shame _Bad __Bella_ didn't see it your way, huh? Do you want me to flagellate myself for having been so mean?" she intoned, sarcasm dripping from every word and only serving to unnerve Edward even more.

"God, when did you become such a bitch, Bella?" he hissed, running out of patience and looking at her like he couldn't quite believe that this woman in front of him was the same he had loved almost all his life.

When had she become so bitter and why? Where was the woman who couldn't stand it when they just as much as started raising their voices at each other, and always did her best to avoid any conflict with anyone, and particularly with him? _This_ was definitively not the woman he had married.

"Maybe when I realized you have to be one to catch your own husband's interest!" she threw back, her eyes glazing furiously and daring him to find anything to respond to that.

If someone in his close acquaintances deserved the bitch title it was definitely not her. But maybe he was too blinded by love already to see that.

"What the hell are you talking about now?" Edward gritted out as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, feeling like it wouldn't be long before he would just tear it out completely.

She really drove him crazy some times, always speaking in riddles or talking about things she was obviously the only one to understand. All _he_ got out of that was painful headaches when he tried to figure out what she was meaning.

"Like you don't know, Edward!" Bella challenged acidly and held her ground.

"I don't… y-you're not making any sense… you've not made any sense to me for the last year anyway, why am I still wasting my time trying to understand you or your motives?" Edward was downright looking at her like she had grown a second head now, feeling more and more lost with the conversation.

See, what was he saying, huh? Boy, today the headache was going to come even more quickly.

He was so going to kick Jasper's ass for making him late. If he hadn't, he was sure they wouldn't be arguing like they were right now.

"_Me_ and _my_ motives? **Me** and **my**…" Bella all but cried out, finally having reached her limit. Anger blinding her, she finally lost the last shred of control she had on her emotions and let everything go, making months of pent-up feelings finally explode. Why did she keep doing this, anyway? It was obviously so not worth it. "You know what, you're right!… why do we even bother anymore, Edward?… this is not working… so why don't we stop pretending, huh?" she returned, matching his tone, only maybe a little more angrily even.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Edward's head snapped back to her and he asked harshly, dreading the answer and yet at the same time, almost sure of what was coming. This was it, wasn't it?

Dammit, why hadn't he just kept his mouth shut and just let her talk all she wanted without answering? Why had he even come at all?

"I want a divorce!" she blurted out, the words leaving her mouth before she could stop them or even really realize their impact herself.

There, she had said it. She had said it out loud, hadn't she?

Oh, god, was it normal that it hurt so much?

Staring back at Edward, she had all the confirmation she needed. He had _obviously_ heard her. Yet this wasn't exactly how she thought he would react. He really looked… surprised? Shocked maybe even.

But what did he expect? That she would just stay aside and let him ruin her life and her daughter's any longer. She deserved better than that and so did their child.

However _shocked_ was still a mild way to put what Edward was really going through. In fact he felt like she had just struck him a blow in the stomach and like all the air had suddenly left his body, and for a few seconds he just blinked and looked at her incredulously, like he was still trying to process what she had just said, or wasn't even quite sure he had really heard her right.

"Is… is that really what you want?" he asked, cringing inwardly right away when he realized how croaked his voice sounded even to his own ears.

Way to go, Cullen, why don't you beg her to take your sorry ass back when you're at it, he scolded himself, hating to feel so desperate and hopeless in front of her at that moment. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen it coming, right? The strange thing was that he hadn't heard about that sooner actually. So why did it hurt so much nonetheless? Why did it feel like she had just ripped his heart right out of his chest and stomped mercilessly on it?

'No, god, no!' Bella kept repeating to herself. '_NO_!'

That was actually the last thing she wanted, but what could she do when he was obviously not willing to cooperate, when he had obviously given up on them a long time ago?

"I think it-it would be best! We're not g-going anywhere like this!" she finally conceded, her voice trembling slightly and not daring to look at him, since she knew she would just take everything back and plead with him to not listen to her if she just as much as met his eyes. But she wasn't going to demean herself before him again. If that wasn't what he wanted ultimately, _he_ would have to prove her so.

"Best for whom?" he demanded to know, because this was certainly not best for him or for their daughter.

"Best for everyone… even you can admit we can't go on like that, Edward! It's just not…"

"You mean _**you**_ can't!" he accused hotly, on the verge of losing it any second now, and then continued even more forcefully. "What is it? Am I tying you down, _Isabella_?… is there somewhere else you'd like to be… _someone_ else you would like to be married to instead and _I_ am spoiling your plans?" he spat out, unable to stop himself, feeling anger boiling in his veins now.

He had often wondered how he would react once she would finally say it, huh? Well, here went the answer and it was definitely not a pretty sight.

Sure it could be childish and purely jealousy talking but she could keep dreaming if she thought he was going to make things easy for her. If she wanted a divorce so badly, if she so wanted to get rid of him, she would have to fight him for it. And _he_ was the lawyer so she could just start and get prepared for the battle of her life.

"Don't you dare try and turn the tables on me now, Edward… " Bella retorted, outraged that he could insinuate she had been the one to lead them down this path.

The nerve of him, when _he_ was the one who had destroyed their marriage and all the faith and trust she could have in him.

And yet strangely, what really hurt her the most wasn't even that, but the fact that he had used her full name to address her. Never in the near eleven years they had been together, had he called her anything but Bella. Until now, and really it stung. More than she could have imagined.

But if she thought he couldn't hurt her more, she was wrong. She had not even recovered from that one, that he dealt her another blow. This one a million times more painful if that was possible.

"Well, I'm not the one who's eager to _spread them_ to every asshole who just as much as looks my way!" Edward finally exploded before what he took as misplaced indignation.

One look at her. That was all he needed, one look and he instantly regretted the words, knowing that that was probably the last thing he should have said, but it was already too late to take them back.

A suffocating silence fell upon them the second they were out, and for what seemed like eternity neither said another word, instead both just staying there their gaze locked with the other's.

Bella gaped at him, feeling the air leave her in a whoosh and her heart jumping in her chest, so high in fact that for a second she expected it to end lodged in her throat, which maybe could have explained why she suddenly seemed unable to breathe.

She could honestly say that she had suffered a lot since she had discovered his infidelity, there was no saying so, yet she was sure at that instant that if he had slapped her across the face or kicked her repeatedly and mercilessly, he would have probably not succeeded in hurting her more right then, and even with the best will in the world, she couldn't have masked her emotions any longer even if she wanted.

The hurt and pain Edward saw reflected in her eyes at that moment almost knocked him back, and he knew he had definitely gone too far. No matter what she did or not, no matter how much he should hate her for all she was putting him through, he just couldn't bear the thought of hurting her in any way. He never could, and probably never would, and knowing that he was the one to put it there right now just tore his heart apart.

He was ready to apologize to her when he heard another voice interrupting them and if it hadn't been enough before, it made him regret having lost control like this even more when he realized that his daughter had been standing a few feet away.

Hopefully though, she wouldn't have understood his words and she wouldn't realize just what a bastard her father could be sometimes, he thought disgustedly.

"Hey, we don't yell in this house!" Janelle unexpectedly broke the silence and their staring contest and Bella turned just in time to see her on the last step of the stairs, her tiny fists on her hips and frowning at her parents.

How many times had her mommy and her daddy told her that that was one of the things they didn't want her to do in the house, and look at them now!

Besides, her father usually never yelled and so when he did, it really scared her and she didn't like it at all.

Swallowing hard, Bella cursed herself for having imposed this on her daughter and then immediately tried to compose herself and bring her heart rate back to normal to be able to answer to her.

"We're not yelling, sweetie… we were just… talking a little too loudly!" she lied, swearing inwardly that this was the last time she would let Edward get the best out of her and she would lose control like this in front of her. "Come here, honey!" she then called to her, seeing that one of her shoe lace, the one from the shoe she had obviously finally found, wasn't tied correctly.

"Mommy, why you crying?" Janelle immediately noticed when she joined her, and instinctively she reached out to wipe away with her little thumb the silent tear that had managed to escape Bella's eye.

"I'm not… I-I just… got something into my eye and it stings a little but don't worry! Go with Daddy now… you're going to be even more late!" Bella lied once more as she arranged the lace, not having realized herself that her efforts to keep the tears at bay hadn't been all that successful, or at least not as much as she would have wanted them to.

"Maybe daddy can make it all better?" Janelle answered in all her innocence, her gaze not leaving her mother, scared that something could be wrong with her mommy and liking even less to think that she could just be hurt in any way.

The statement was laced with so much concern and yet made so naturally that it would have brought Bella down to her knees if she hadn't been already kneeling in front of her, and her throat worked spasmodically as she tried to conceal a sob. Oh, dear Lord, what was she supposed to answer to that?

Janelle eventually tore her eyes away from her mommy just long enough to look hopefully at her father, remembering that when she had a booboo herself her daddy always knew what to do to make it right, but she frowned again as she took in his rigid stance and saw that his eyes were closed now, his hands were tightly fisted at his side and that he seemed to be in pain himself. A pain she didn't understand down from her five years old. A pain she didn't realize _she_ had involuntarily caused.

Hearing his daughter saying that _he_ could make it better for Bella with so much hope and trust in her voice, when he perfectly knew he was the cause of her pain to begin with, was just the last straw for Edward and he felt how his legs wobbled under him and threatened to make him go down at his daughter's feet himself.

Hating himself so much at that moment, he had to resist the urge to just flee out of the house and never come back again, provided that he would never inflict any kind of hurt to any of _his_ girls ever again. But selfishly, the tremendous fear of losing them both for good that gripped at his heart and the knowledge that he just couldn't survive without them ran deeper and stronger at that instant than any other feeling and was fortunately enough to keep him in place.

Until he had to hear Bella's answer at least.

"No… no one can now, honey… it's gonna have to pass on its own!" she just whispered, doing her best to keep smiling and not alarm her daughter even more, yet sure that the little girl could perfectly pick up on her distress.

For someone so young Janelle had a sense of things that went way beyond her age, and there was no doubt in Bella's mind that she understood that something was wrong with her, even if Bella was telling her exactly the opposite. Just like she had understood almost right away that her father didn't have to leave them because, with his work and all his business trips, it would be better for him if he went to live at her aunt's place for a little while since it was closer to his office and to the airport, though of course he would soon come back home again and she didn't need to worry, like they had told her to justify their separation.

No, Bella hadn't even been surprised when Janelle had asked her a few weeks later if she was going to have two houses now and a second mommy and second daddy, like Lisa Chase after her parents had gotten a '_dimorce_' like she had called it.

She remembered clearly having promised herself that day that she wouldn't let her daughter go through this if she could work it out differently, and look where they were now. A few words thrown in anger, a few cries, a lot of loss of control, and her fate was sealed.

"Bella… I'm so-…" Edward, silent spectator to their exchange until now, finally took a tentative step to her, wishing more than anything that he could swallow the words back or at least make her understand how sorry he was for what he had just said, but she didn't let him go any further.

"Don't even try!" she glared at him and warned before dropping her gaze back to their daughter. "I will be there waiting for you when you finish school this afternoon. And grandma will pick you up at lunch time, okay!" she said sweetly, needing to concentrate on anything but him.

If she only looked at him for a little too long right now, she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself any longer and would just let the pain consume her and therefore cry her eyes out, and there was simply no way she would let him see more than she already knew she had, how much he had hurt her.

"Yeah… and Daddy is gonna buy me a new movie this afte'noon and he's gonna come and see it with us later! Right, mommy? It's today, huh?" Janelle questioned hopefully, remembering how her father had promised her that as soon as he would be back, he would buy her whatever it was she wanted and how when she had told her mother that what she actually wanted was a new DVD, she had assured her that they would all watch it together when he would return.

"Sure, sunshine… tonight daddy's gonna see that new movie with you!" Bella answered, smoothing her daughter's hair back affectionately, like what she was asking of her was no big deal and she could actually envision herself being in Edward's presence so soon after what had just happened without any problem, but Edward didn't miss the fact that she hadn't included herself in their plans like Janelle had, and his heart constricted painfully once more, knowing it was his fault. "Go now… I love you, Jay!" Bella added as she pecked her daughter's lips like she did every morning or every other time she had to leave her, and then hugged her briefly.

"Love you, too, mommy!" the little girl answered with a bright smile, though she kept looking her mother directly in the eye, like she was still trying to make sure everything was really alright.

A second later, apparently satisfied with what she found there, she stepped closer to her father, ready to leave, but then stopped when she saw that he had yet to move or even look at her. Her gaze went back and forth between her two parents then and she grimaced slightly, not understanding what was happening now. Hadn't her mother said they were late? Then why was her father not moving and why was he looking at her mother like time had suddenly frozen around him?

Not even realizing when his daughter slipped her tiny hand in his, Edward stood still in front of Bella, just dying to reach out to her and comfort her, or just beg her to forgive him, but he refrained himself, sure that Bella would just reject him if he even tried. And how could she not after what he had just done?

They would have to talk about this later though, he promised himself, because there was simply no way he could let things take an even uglier turn than what they had just done, and that was what was bound to happen if they didn't talk. But enough was enough, this had to stop.

God, how could he even have let this happen? How could he have let things go this far? They had fought a lot these past months, but never to the point of downright insulting each other. Somehow they had always managed to be civil to the other but this was really different. He knew he had crossed a line and she had no reason to forgive him for being so mean to her, but god, just the thought that she could hate him now was just too much for him to bear.

If really they had to make their separation official, he didn't want it to happen this way and quite ironically, he realized that what he was thinking just now, after having witnessed firsthand how much they could hurt each other, was in total contradiction with what he had been so sure he wanted, or had wanted to do not ten minutes ago. When at that moment he had almost sworn he would make her life a living hell before letting her getting away with this easily, now he would say yes to everything she wanted, to everything she asked for as long as he wouldn't have to see the same pain in her eyes again, and just as long as she would still let him see their daughter. He would learn to live without her if he had to, if really there weren't any other solution, but he would not let her hate him. Yet that didn't mean he would have to like it, because god, how it hurt to finally have to let her go.

Bella looked up briefly when she saw that Edward wasn't leaving and during a fraction of second, she could have almost sworn that she could see tears shimmering in his eyes, but she dismissed the thought almost right away, thinking that it was only her own that were blurring her vision and making her see things that weren't there.

Why would he cry anyway? Wasn't this what he wanted? At least now he was free to start over with the one he really loved, _she_ was setting him free finally since he was too coward to do it himself, breaking her heart in the process, but she was doing him, _them_ a favor. Shouldn't he be happy then that his _loveless and meaningless_ marriage was finally over?

"Goodbye, Bella!" Edward whispered in the end and followed his daughter's lead when he realized he had no choice but to leave. However, the words were uttered so softly and yet so brokenly that Bella wasn't even sure he had really spoken to her.

"Yeah, bye!" she answered back nonetheless but obstinately refused to look up at him now. Instead she smiled down at Janelle who with her free hand had opened the door and was now waving goodbye at her.

She stepped out behind them and waved back until Edward had Janelle securely settled on her seat in the back of his jeep and he finally pulled off of the driveway, and though her eyes remained constantly on her daughter's face, she didn't miss how Edward's seemed to strain on her as he left her alone on the porch. She bravely smiled all the time, more for Janelle's sake than because she really felt like it, but her smile faltered progressively with each passing second and she thanked God when they were finally out of sight, probably feeling happy for the first time in her life to see her daughter leave.

As she entered back, the oppressing silence filled the room once more and she felt like her house was slowly but surely closing in on her, making it almost impossible for her to breathe.

"_I'm not the one who's eager to _spread them_ to every asshole who just as much as looks my way!_" his voice resonated over and over, the words playing around in her head, mocking her mercilessly, and not sure she would be able to stand up on her two feet for much longer, she leant against the door for support.

God, was that really how he saw her now? Like one of those girls who _whored_ around, looking for any opportunity to get some?

Was this really where their relationship stood after eleven years, what was left of it? Had he really completely forgotten who she was after only being apart from her for seven months, and was that the only opinion of her he had now? If that was really the case all the time she had spent with him was really not worth it, and he was definitely not the man she had always thought he was. No, _he_ was so not worth it. But then, why did she care so much about what he could think of her, and why did it hurt so much?

In a last attempt to control herself, she pressed her fist into her mouth and bit into it with all the strength she could muster, hoping it would be enough to quell the painful cry that threatened to escape her lips, but unfortunately it only made the tears come faster.

No, god, no! She wouldn't cry over him again, she wouldn't shed anymore tears, she swore as she took long and deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm herself down, but even that didn't seem to help any.

God, what would she do now? And what would she say to Janelle? What did you tell your five years old little girl who thought the world of her father in a situation like that? '_Honey, your father loves you, but I'm not enough for him… that and he hates me so much that he thinks I could betray our love just because he did so_'?

She was not going to be able to do this. She just couldn't.

Unexpectedly her gloomy thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone and though she was glad for the momentary reprieve, she hesitated before going to pick it up. Maybe she should just let the answering machine take it, she considered briefly before hearing her mother's voice resonating into her living room.

Great, just what she needed, she almost cursed as she made her way to the phone, knowing full well that her mother knew she didn't work until much later this morning and therefore wouldn't stop calling until she would have her on line. Ever since their last serious conversation, she hadn't stopped bugging her one way or another anyway. Well, she would be satisfied and proud for once, she had finally done exactly what she wanted.

"Mom?… hello!" she said, trying to keep a normal voice as she finally answered.

"Bella?… god, what took you so long?… I thought you weren't home!" Renée Swan almost instantly complained into the phone when she finally heard her daughter.

"I am… I was just going to go for a run when you called!" Bella lied to justify herself, even if she knew that after her argument with Edward she wouldn't have the heart to go anywhere, not even for a run, the only thing that usually helped her sorting out her thoughts. But her mother certainly didn't need to know that, right?

"Oh… okay!" her mother just replied, knowing that that was her daughter's way to deal with all the tension and stress she was feeling lately. "How are you, honey?" she then added when she realized that Bella was obviously not going to be very cooperative and she would have to do all the talking once more, or at least enough to pull the words out of her.

"I'm fine, Mom… I talked to you not two days ago! Nothing new!" Bella answered indifferently, not liking more today than any other day how her mother always seemed to be on her back.

She should certainly thank God once more for being here in Los Angeles while her mother was still in Forks, because she didn't know if she would have been able to see her on a daily occurrence and not snap at her regularly. She loved her mother dearly but she was really not helping her lately. Not with the way she kept pushing her in some direction and smothering her.

"And how is my granddaughter?… is she still home?" she asked, hoping she would be, so she could maybe actually converse with someone who would be willing and happy to talk to her.

She knew Bella didn't like when she stuck her nose in her life, but she was her only daughter and she really didn't like the turn her life had taken, and god, she was so tired of seeing her taking the blows without protesting, or letting Edward treat her like a simple doormat. When would she stand up for herself and say _enough_?

If Charlie, her own husband, had done to her what Edward had done to Bella, she would have kicked him down the curb and gotten rid of him a long time ago, but her Bella was a romantic at heart who believed in soul mates and eternal love and therefore letting go of the one she had always thought was her everything, was like letting go of a part of herself and something she just couldn't envision. Not as long as there was still even just the slightest glimmer of hope in her heart, however insignificant it could be.

"She's fine, too… and no, she's not here… she just left with… she left to school!" Bella started before stopping mid-sentence and changing her phrasing, knowing full well where this conversation was going to end otherwise. They always ended pretty much the same way anyway every time _his_ name was mentioned now.

"With Edward!" Renée finished for her, the disgust not at all concealed from her voice.

"Yes, with _Edward_, Mom… he's still _her father_, no matter what… and he loves Janelle more than anything in the world… just as much as she does!" Bella replied, immediately on the defensive.

Whatever the problems _they_ had were, there was absolutely no doubt in her mind about that. Edward loved their daughter wholeheartedly and he would give his life for her without the slightest hesitation, whether her mother was ready to believe or admit it or not. What happened between them was their problem and it didn't affect at all his relationship with her or the way he felt about her, so why would she do anything to change or compromise that? Granted he was late or away on business trips just too often to her liking and she knew that in some way it bothered Janelle because it often reduced her time with him and she didn't understand why, but beside that he was the best father she could have wished for her child. He was just not the perfect husband she had thought he was.

"He loves her so much that he ruined your marriage and _her_ family without any regret or remorse…" Renée all but snorted, but was almost immediately interrupted by Bella who really couldn't go through this with her right now. Not after her altercation with Edward. That was actually the last thing in the world she needed.

"Mom, stop, please… don't start, I don't have the strength to go through this with you again! Not now!" she expelled a long suffering sigh and said wearily. Would she ever stop with Edward and all her grievances against him, and leave her alone?

And to say that her mother was still one of Edward's most fervent supporters not even two years ago, singing his praises right and left and claiming to whoever was willing to hear it that he was the best son-in-law she could have wished for. Bella couldn't even remember herself how many times she had heard her say how perfect he was, or how good he was for her and so on and so forth, and now each time she just as much as uttered his name it was as if she was having her teeth pulled out all at once or she was resisting the urge to throw up. Boy, how quickly she could change her mind.

"I'm only stating the truth, Bella… when are you going to open your eyes, sweetie?… Edward Cullen doesn't deserve you, and he certainly doesn't deserve the way you keep defending him every time we talk about him!… You and Edward, honey… you were just not meant to be, regardless of everything we thought!"

"I'm not defending him… and…" Bella started, before realizing herself that that was certainly what she was doing nonetheless, even when she had no reason to keep doing it anymore. More importantly, how could she even be _thinking_ about defending him with the way he had just treated her? Was she really _that_ pathetic? "Look, forget it… it doesn't matter anymore anyway! It's all over!"

"What do you mean?… Bella? What are you not telling me?" Renée inquired, sure by the tone of Bella's voice that she was missing something.

"There is no more Edward and I! It-It's… it's over!" Bella announced defeated, her voice cracking some more this time as she whispered the words into the receiver.

"Bella?"

"I told him… I-I asked… I asked him for a divorce!" she elaborated, trying to ignore the burning sensation in her chest and what she was sure could only be the bleeding of her heart, as she heard herself utter that word once more.

"Oh… god… I-I'm so sorry, honey!" Renée said after a brief hesitation, still somewhat clearly caught off guard by the statement.

She had _really_ not thought that Bella would be able to take that last step one day, she knew all too well just how much Bella still loved Edward and hoped for a reconciliation, and therefore she could only imagine how much it must have cost her to finally admit, mainly to herself, that this was her only alternative and that it was time to put an end to her situation. Was she not thinking not even five minutes ago that Bella would never let go of her soul mate? How wrong she had been.

However she didn't really have time to dwell on that point, before she heard Bella's now somewhat angry voice again.

"Are you?… Really?" Bella attacked skeptically, perfectly aware of what her mother really thought. Like she hadn't made that clear on many occasions ever since she had told her what had happened with Edward. "Isn't this what you've wanted all along?… you've certainly not tried to hide the fact that you wanted me to do just that… well, be glad, mom, I did it… but you know what… it doesn't make me feel better for all that."

"Bella, sweetie, you know that's not true… I've never wanted you to go through this or to suffer this way… I really wish it could have ended differently!" Renée told her sincerely this time, even if she also knew that Bella had certainly taken the right decision.

No matter how badly it hurt right now, she would definitely be better off without a cheating husband in the long run, though at the same time she couldn't help thinking that this was not fair. Bella really didn't deserve that, not when the only thing she had ever done was to love and support her husband in every way possible and in every situation.

"I-I wish that, too, mommy… I wish that so much!" Bella croaked, finally realizing that this was really it. That this was the end and that nothing would ever be the same after that. Edward Cullen and Bella Swan were over. End of the love story.

"Shh… honey, it's gonna be alright! I promise, it's gonna be alright." Renée closed her eyes in pain as she heard her daughter calling her '_mommy_' probably without even realizing it, the use of that word she hadn't pronounced in years showing her even more just how lost and helpless she had to be feeling.

"M-Mom… I lost him… oh, god, I-I really l-lost him this time!" Bella broke down achingly, her voice trembling with each word she said as she finally lost the fight and let go of the tears she had so valiantly managed to hold back until then.

Reality and all its implications came crashing down on her with such force at that moment that she felt like she would never be able to recover and feel whole again, and as she eventually collapsed on the floor under the weight of her agonizing grief, heart wrenching sobs and cries carried over the line, tearing apart her mother's heart.

'_You lost him a long time ago, sweetie_', Renée thought, her own eyes welling up with hot, angry tears as she witnessed her daughter's incommensurable distress. But she knew that was the last thing Bella needed to hear right now, and so instead she held her tongue and whispered soothing and comforting words to her daughter.

A daughter who was miles away, while she was here wishing more than anything that she could cross the distance and just take her into her arms to comfort her and take her pain away, like she used to do when Bella was still her little baby girl and something was wrong, and when all she needed back then was to be in her motherly embrace to feel better.

Yet she couldn't, and Renée Swan sobbed herself, never having felt so powerless in her whole life before, as she cursed the day they let Edward Cullen enter their lives so easily and regretted more than anything not having been able to see the true nature of the man behind the Prince Charming's face.

**TBC…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.f

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer**: See first parts.

**AN**: Here goes your brand new chapter! But first, some answers:

**HelenM**… yeah, I perfectly understand, he's hard to like after that last chapter, but just keep in mind that he is hurting, too, and he didn't mean to say the things he said… hope you'll like him again soon nonetheless… he's definitely not a bad guy! Thanks for the review!

**Jctypes**: sorry for the confusion :? In this chapter though there weren't many mentions of the 'others', the_ he _and _she_ referred to Edward and Bella,(or Janelle) most of the time, but don't worry, I'll make sure to mention the 'others' by name when the time comes! As for wanting to hit them lol I feel the same, and I'm the one writing the story so that's saying something lol but don't worry, they'll soon get their act together and finally talk! Thanks for reviewing once more!

**..iluvtwilight2**: I know, it was hard to write as well, trust me! As for the' friends thing', none of them has really dared confide in anyone else, but you'll learn more about that later on! As for Renee, she's not Edward's biggest fan right now, but she'll never go against what her daughter wants, and she knows that Bella would certainly not appreciate it if she didn't let her take care of her problems like she sees fit, even if we can all agree that so far her way hasn't gotten very good results! You'll see more of Renee and her reactions in further chapters, however! Thanks for the review as well!

**Faniac**: thank you, your words warmed my heart! I'm glad you found that scene realistic! I was just scared it was a little harsh, but like you, I think I would have reacted more or less the same if such thing happened to me! As for the rest, your questions will be answered very soon, but I'll just say, you're on the right track, at least for one of them! ;) Thanks for the review!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: yes, Edward is being an ass here, I can't deny it, but I hope you'll like him again very soon! He's going to suffer a lot as well before things get right again! I personally just want to take him into my arms when I think of all that awaits him yet, and I hope you'll feel the same way… eventually… again, he really is not a bad guy! Just trust me on that! ;) Thanks once more for your comment!

Enjoy the next chapter… no Edward and Bella interaction here, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless! Don't forget to let me know what you think!

* * *

**Chapter three**

Unaware of the drama that was unfolding at his house, Edward drove as well as he could in his own state, which was definitely not the best either, that was for sure. In fact it was a wonder they were able to arrive to the school in one piece, considering that he wasn't even really concentrating on the road, and it was certainly only because he knew it by heart and could have gone there eyes closed that they made it.

A million thoughts surged and ran through his mind at lightning speed, one more confusing and hurtful than the previous one, but they all revolved around the same person. Bella.

He knew he shouldn't think about her right now, not if he wanted to make it through the day, but he couldn't help himself.

Her face, her hurt look haunted him and he honestly didn't know if he would ever be able to forget about the pain he had inflected her.

He had been so unfair to her, he knew that, but hearing her basically telling him that they were over had been just too much to take and he had done the only thing he could do at that point: he had lashed out at her, his own pain carried in each spiteful words he had thrown at her, and though he hadn't set to intentionally hurt her, he knew that he had done so nonetheless. And in the worst possible way. In all honesty he could say that he would have probably hurt her less if he had gone and directly kicked her in the stomach.

Yet, now that he was calmer, he could admit that she didn't deserve to be treated this way, not when all she had done at that moment was to finally voice out loud what they both knew was coming anyway.

Not that she wasn't at fault as far as he was concerned, but what he had insinuated had gone way beyond that. It was totally uncalled. He might have lost her to someone else and for that he resented her but though he could think all he wanted that he had valid reasons to feel that way, she was far from '_spreading them to every asshole who just as much as looked her way_', and he couldn't help but cringe inwardly as he remembered he had said so. Bella was nothing like that, he knew that himself and probably better than anyone else, so he couldn't even comprehend himself that he could have told her such a stupid thing.

Even if he would certainly cut his own arm first before admitting that aloud or to anyone else, he knew that if Bella had turned to someone else in the first place, it was because he hadn't measured up and hadn't lived up to her expectations, and then ultimately because she had to have fallen in love with that… er… _guy_, otherwise she would have never considered starting any kind of relationship with him. Then could he really hate her for being true to herself and only following her heart?

Bella wasn't the type to have random sex or an extramarital affair with the first guy that crossed her path, no. She had never been and the fact that he could have dared insinuating so was enough to make him groan out loud. And now looking at that with retrospect, he didn't think that he deserved to have her forgiving him for his crude words.

Yet admitting that to himself and taking responsibility for his own part in the turn of their conversation this morning, didn't lessen in any way the blow that knowing she was finally ready to divorce had caused him. It hurt him more than anything else before. More than he had ever thought it would, no matter how many times he had tried to prepare himself for that.

He felt so damn lost and helpless right now, it was a wonder he was still able to function or remember his own name, where he was, where he was going. It was like being caught in the midst of a thick fog, and he really didn't know if he would ever be able to get out of there. Would he ever feel normal, whole again?

Beside that, another thing that was really bothering him right now was that reflection Bella had made about apparently '_needing to be a bitch to catch your own husband's interest_'. It didn't make any sense to him, but he couldn't go past or forget about the fact that she had sounded really angry while saying so. But why? It didn't add up with anything else, unless…

No, that couldn't be it. But he had to admit that she had sounded almost… _jealous_ even if he didn't understand why she would feel that way. But no, she couldn't possibly know about what had happened with Kate. There were only three people who knew, Kate of course, Jasper, and then himself and none of the two others would have said a thing to Bella or to anyone else. So logically there was no way she could have learned about that. But then what did her sentence mean? Something told him that if he was able to catch her meaning he would probably understand a lot of other things too, but for the life of him, right this instant his brain seemed to have turn to mush and he couldn't grab anything.

After having reflected upon that long enough to give himself another headache, Edward was momentarily pulled out of his more than confused thoughts when at a traffic light, someone honked when he wasn't quick enough to pull away.

That was also when he remembered that he wasn't alone in the car and that he hadn't been paying much attention to his daughter. And now that he thought of it, it was really strange he hadn't heard her yet or at all.

"What's happening, munchkin?… you've been very quiet all the way!" Edward questioned gently as he threw a quick glance into his rearview mirror to see what his daughter was doing.

Not that she was doing much actually beside looking out the window and nibbling absentmindedly at her bottom lip, a habit she had inherited from her mother, but that was precisely what had him a little preoccupied now.

Usually Janelle was way more excited when he was the one to take her to school, and moreover when he was just coming back from one of his trips. Generally she couldn't stop asking him all kind of questions, from where he had gone exactly to what that city looked like, or if he would take her there sometime. But today, nothing. In fact ever since they had left the house she hadn't uttered a single word, but he had yet to determine if it was just because she was just not in the mood today, or if she had sensed that there was something wrong between him and Bella and it had her worried.

"N'thing!" Janelle replied so softly herself that Edward would have probably not known she had spoken to him, if he hadn't seen her lips forming the word.

Well, if he had had any doubts before, now he _knew_ for sure that something was wrong with her.

"Are you sure?… you know you can tell me anything, right?" he told her reassuringly as they finally arrived and he parked the car in front of the school.

As he cut the injection he briefly looked around and noticed that a few other parents were still arriving, too, assuring him that at least Janelle wouldn't be the only one to be late and that he still had some time to find out what was bothering her.

"Um-huh!" Janelle just mumbled as she struggled with her seatbelt and tried to unfasten it herself, and as he turned to look at her again Edward saw her grimacing slightly when she failed.

It wouldn't have been the first time she tried, she certainly did so every time he drove her to school but so far all her attempts had been unsuccessful. Not that it could stop her from keeping trying. His daughter was a stubborn one. But right now he would really want her to be a little less and tell him what was wrong because it was clearly written all over her face that there was '_something_', whether she was ready to admit it to him or not.

Passing his hand between the two front seats, Edward helped her with it and couldn't help but smile at her when she looked back at him and whispered a soft '_thank you_'.

However the smile instantly left his lips when just as quickly, she lowered her gaze again and proceeded to chew at her lip once more, only more insistently this time.

"Sweetie?" he called her, getting really worried now.

This was definitely not the Janelle he was used to or the one he had expected to find after not having seen her for three days. He had thought she would be happy to see him, and she had seemed to be at least until his fight with Bella, but now here she looked almost like she didn't even care he was back.

Maybe she was angry because he had been late, he pondered. Or maybe she had understood more than he had first thought about what had happened between him and Bella after all.

Of course even if most of the time he tried to not even consider that fact, deep down he knew that he was probably only deluding himself when he kept trying to convince himself that Janelle was totally unaware of the reality of their situation, but now something told him that this was going to be the moment when he would have to face the truth and stop running from it.

He was already conjuring up all kind of possible scenarios regarding what could be bothering her now when Janelle seemed to make up her mind and put a stop to all of them the second she spoke again.

"Daddy, why is mommy a'ways sad?" she eventually demanded, lifting troubled eyes up to her father and nearly breaking his heart at the mixed emotions he could see there.

"Uh… she is?" Edward swallowed hard and stuttered lamely, not knowing what else to say since her question had taken him by surprise to say the least.

Of course he had noticed himself that Bella didn't seem to be especially joyful whenever he saw her, but he had only assumed that it was because they weren't on the best terms lately and she wasn't particularly thrilled to see him, yet he couldn't very well say that to his daughter now, could he? So how was he supposed to answer her question?

"Huh-uh… she cries at night!" Janelle informed him with a natural that gave Edward chills all over, even if it was already quite a hot morning and so he couldn't blame it on the weather.

To say that he wasn't anywhere prepared to deal with that information would have been an understatement because that was definitely not something -probably the last thing even in fact- he had expected her to reveal, and yet he clearly and instantly felt himself wincing inwardly just at the thought of Bella crying for any reasons.

"How do you know that, honey?" he asked, needing to know and then, realizing that he had been there just sitting and looking at her, he finally exited the car and immediately opened her door, offering her his hand to get out herself.

"I hear her s'mtimes!… is it because of…" Janelle started, but then seeing her father looking down at her expectantly, she hesitated briefly "Because of you?… because you had to leave!" she finished, her voice just above a whisper.

She was too young to understand everything of course but she knew that her mother had been happier when her father still lived with them. And at least then she didn't hear her cry at night, she was sure of that. Now even knowing that he had no choice, at least from what her parents had told her, she didn't like it anymore, she didn't like what it could imply, and obviously her mother didn't like it either. Sometimes she really wished he could come back and then everything would be like before. Everything would be back to normal.

"I-I don't know, sweetie… m-maybe!" Edward stammered completely at a loss for words.

He was still mulling over the fact that Bella could cry at night and that his daughter could hear it and be affected by that, and honestly he didn't know what to say or just what to think of it. He didn't even know why Bella would cry. At least he couldn't find any reasons that could explain that and that could be in any way related to him.

Why would she cry because of him? Or because he had left?

He thought that was what she wanted, after all _she_ had been the one to ask him to leave, right?

But if he was indeed the reason why she cried at night, what did that mean? Of course there could be a very simple explanation but right now, he was in no emotional state to contemplate it too seriously. Not if he wanted to keep it together.

However if he thought that it couldn't get worse for him, he was deluding himself once more, and even in his wildest imagination he couldn't have fathomed what Janelle was going to ask him next, or just how much it was going to hurt.

"Why you left then?" she wondered out loud, but before Edward could formulate or even just think about a plausible reply, her next sentence nearly brought him to his knees, making him wish he had never left his seat. "Y-You don't love us no more?" Janelle whispered, her sweet voice trembling as she voiced one of her fears.

She didn't like to think about that of course, but one of the boys in her class had told her that usually when the daddies left the house it was because they weren't happy and generally didn't love their family anymore. At least that was what his older brother had told him, and even if she didn't want to believe that it was what was happening with her own daddy, moreover since he told her he loved her almost every time he saw her, when she saw him looking all upset and angry with her mommy she couldn't help wondering nonetheless.

"Oh, god, Janelle… no, no, that's not it… come here, love!" Edward said and immediately picked her up, doing his best to stay calm and not bawl like a baby in front of his child. Yet the mere thought that she could question his love for her was enough to slice his heart in two and make him lose the last of his control.

He hugged her fiercely a few precious seconds and then after having made sure first that the surface was clean and that it wouldn't soil her dress, he lowered her down on the hood of the car. Once that done though, he found himself momentarily tongue-tied and the only thing he could do was look at her, while he struggled inwardly to find the right words.

Truth was, he didn't know how to explain things to her. Sometimes he wasn't even sure of what was happening himself. So what was he supposed to tell her, he wondered as he tenderly smoothed her shiny hair back. It was so evident to him now by the questions that seemed to plague her mind that she knew, or at least felt, more than what he thought she did and that she was apparently… no, make that _definitely_, not as oblivious to the situation as he had first assumed. He was pretty sure that she didn't understand all the implications but there was no more doubt in his mind that she hadn't believed all the lies they had kept telling her for all that. And god, he was so tired of lying. Moreover when he realized that in the end, all he would manage to do was to hurt her even more in the long run.

Yet if Bella was as serious about the divorce as she seemed to be this morning, sooner or later they would have to tell her the truth, therefore he shouldn't keep lying like he was and should rather start to prepare her for the worst.

"Honey… sometimes things between adults get a little complicated and sometimes, even when we want, we can't make them right but…" he started carefully, praying that he could find the words that would reassure her and at the same time that he would find the easiest way to make her understand what he was trying to tell her.

However before he could go any further, she cut him off and if it weren't because this was clearly not the moment, he would have certainly laughed out loud at her words.

God, was there ever any doubt that she was Bella's daughter?

"But mommy a'ways says you can do whatever you want if you really, really want it!" she interrupted, like she didn't understand why her father was telling her this when her mother had told her basically just the contrary.

If mommy said you could do everything you wanted, why was her father telling her that sometimes you couldn't? Mommy was always right, she knew that, even her father used to say so.

"I know… and usually it's true, but sometimes wanting is not all!" Edward continued sincerely and was once more surprised by his daughter's reply.

"Maybe you don't want hard enough!" she accused softly, though there was no real anger or animosity in her tone since for now she still didn't see where her father was going with his explanation.

"I do, baby, believe me…" Edward said and tenderly tucked a few strands of his child's hair back behind her ears and caressed her cheeks, doing it reflexively and only realizing afterwards just how similar the gesture was to what he used to do with her mother when she was nervous herself and he was trying to calm her down or at least bring her some comfort. "…but that's not the point… now what's really important is that I want you to always remember that no matter what happens, I _do_ love you, honey… so very much, don't ever doubt that, please… and though with your mother it's a little more complic-…" he continued, unaware of the impact those last few words were having on his daughter.

"You don't love mommy?" Janelle immediately stopped him and asked tremulously, and as he saw her bottom lip trembling as she said the words, Edward felt his heart breaking a little more if that were possible.

God, he sucked so much at this. He had barely time to talk to her since she was supposed to be inside already, school having started at least ten minutes ago, and now instead of making things better for her and comforting her, here he was only making them worse. Way to go, huh?

No wonder he wasn't able to have a normal conversation with Bella and make her understand what he thought, what he felt, he wasn't even able to do so with a five-year-old.

"I love you _both_, sweetie, you and mommy, that's not the problem…" he told her, insisting on the 'both' and hoping it would be enough to ease her fears, but he didn't want to lie to her for all that. Even if it was definitely not the best moment to have this conversation with her, he knew that after what had happened with Bella and moreover since he was almost sure now that she had to have heard more than what Bella and he had realized before, he needed to tell her something more than '_I love you both_'. "… it's just… s-sometimes it's… it's not enough… but just know that your mother and I, we… we're working on it… and that whatever happens between she and I, it won't ever change what we feel for you, Janelle… you mean everything to us both, and always will! And… and we love you so, so much, sweetie… Don't ever forget that!" he finished, not surprised to hear his own voice quavering by the end.

While he spoke though, Edward kept his eyes constantly focused on her face to be able to judge her reaction and as he saw her torturing her lip for the umpteenth time already, he wondered what she could be thinking now.

In fact it seemed to him that she was like pondering his words and he couldn't help wondering if it was a good thing or not. But that thought quickly left his mind when Janelle looked up at him hopefully, and when he met her big doe eyes again, he was struck once more with how much she could look like her mother even in that. Their color might be his, but the particular shape was definitely Bella's. Everything about her reminded him of Bella in fact, which right this second wasn't particularly a good thing.

"I know what you can do to make mommy not so sad anymore!" she said, coming back to what had been her main concern and what had started all this talk.

"And what is that?" Edward urged her to continue, clearly curious to know what she could have come up with.

It would be kind of ironic that his own daughter could give him the solution to what was still a headache to him, wouldn't it? But since everything he did or said lately seemed to be the wrong thing anyway, any advice was worth hearing, even if it was coming from a five years old little girl.

At least that was what Edward thought until he actually heard it.

"Maybe you can give her another baby!" Janelle told him sweetly, not realizing how her innocent words made her father suck in a breath.

For a few seconds Edward felt like she had knocked him over, punched him in the gut, and he was sure that his eyes had to have bugged out of their sockets when what she had just said had registered in his brain.

She wasn't serious, right? And even if she were anyway, where had she gotten that idea from to begin with? There could only be one answer, and though he was scared shitless at the prospect that she could confirm his suspicions, he couldn't not ask.

"Janelle?" he called to her when he noticed that his lack of immediate answer had made her lower her eyes like she had done something wrong and she was afraid he would tell her off. "Uh... D-Did your mother tell you she wanted another baby?" he demanded when she looked back at him, though he did his best to keep a neutral tone and the smile on his face to not show her what havoc her suggestion had caused him.

A baby.

He had thought about that a million times since leaving Bella, wondering if that could have been the solution to all of their problems. Or if things would have been different if he hadn't been so stubborn and had at least heard Bella out when she had tried to talk him into trying to have another baby.

Maybe then they wouldn't find themselves in this situation. Probably not in fact, because then Bella would have had what she obviously wanted so much and she would have even less felt the need to turn to someone else. She would have certainly not asked him to leave then either, and they would certainly be still together.

But would that have been right for all that?

He couldn't say so because the fact was that they would have brought that baby into this world for the wrong reasons, and he honestly doubted that it would have been enough to save their marriage anyway. If a baby would have definitely brought them closer for a time, in the end he knew that it wouldn't have helped them because the main thing having a baby would have done was to make them avoid their problems for a while -even if then he hadn't realized just how many they could have- and _act_ like everything was perfect between them again, when eventually he was sure those problems would have come back to bite them in the ass, and things would have been probably even worse afterwards.

Besides, like he had told her, back then he hadn't been ready for another baby. Not when he perfectly knew that he wouldn't have been there often enough to see it grow up like a father should. With the crazy hours he was working at that time, he was pretty much sure that Bella would have only ended resenting him even more for leaving her alone to raise their children and he knew that was what she would have thought. That he was abandoning her, abandoning them. And though now he was conscious of the fact that that was pretty much what he had done anyway, it had been the last thing he had wanted nonetheless. It hadn't been intentional.

No, a baby wouldn't have been the solution then, not any more than it would be now.

In the end Edward was already mentally preparing himself for Janelle's answer and for what he would have to tell her, when without any warning another thought crossed his mind and he suddenly felt like he was going to keel over with the nausea feeling that unexpectedly invaded him.

OH. GOD.

What if Bella had indeed talked with her about the fact that she wanted to have another baby… but _recently_?

What if she was actually really considering it, maybe even already planning it, _working_ on it, and the main reason she had broached the subject with Janelle was because she wanted to prepare her to the eventuality.

That would only mean one thing considering the situation they currently were in. If she indeed had, that would mean that she was contemplating making a baby with someone that was definitely not _him_, no matter what Janelle was thinking or wanting herself. And Edward needed nothing more to feel his heart hammering in his chest and his blood pounding in his ears while blinding rage coursed through his veins.

No, no, she wouldn't do that, she wouldn't _fucking_ dare. She _couldn't_ do that or even think about it, not until they were divorced, he reasoned. But then he was hit square in the face with another dose of reality when he remembered that she had precisely told him she wanted a divorce not an hour ago.

This was why, he thought crazily. She wanted a baby but she wouldn't go so far as making one with someone else while she was still married to him. That was why she seemed to want that divorce so badly. Of course she had said it was better for everyone when in reality she only saw what was better for her. She had almost fooled him, the little lying…

Damn, what was he doing? He so couldn't think like that or he was really going to blow a fuse and go and kill someone.

He had to calm down. He just had to before he did something stupid, like going and finding the fucking bastard she was with now and cut his balls so that he wouldn't be able to use them with anyone and more particularly with _his_ Bella. _His_ wife, even if it was only for a matter of time yet. Though of course he also had to admit he liked the idea of finally making that idiot pay, whatever the way, it would definitely not be the wisest thing to do, he knew that.

But mostly he reminded himself, he had to calm down if he didn't want to scare his daughter, which was bound to happen if he wasn't able to control himself right now.

Oh, dear Lord, why, oh, why hadn't he stayed in bed, huh? He so knew that this was going to be a horrible day and so far _everything_ was confirming it and proving him right.

The few seconds it took Janelle to reply were probably the longest of his whole life and therefore it wasn't surprising if he couldn't help but expel a loud sigh of relief when she finally did.

"No… but Jenna Stevenson daddy gave her mommy another baby and Jenna said her mommy is a'ways very very happy now!" Janelle informed him, unaware of what had been going on in her father's head, and that was almost enough to bring his heart rate back to normal. _Almost_, because now that the thought of Bella making a baby with anyone else was implanted in his brain, it would be hard to think about anything else for a while.

"Well… uh… babies usually make the parents very happy… but in our case, I'm not sure it would help!" Edward answered honestly when he was calm enough again, even if he wasn't sure that that was what his daughter wanted to hear.

Besides, it was not like it was a possibility right now anyway, not for them _together_ at least. After what he had told her not even half an hour before, he wasn't even sure she would talk to him ever again, so they were very far from thinking about making a baby then, and he really didn't want to dwell any longer on the fact that someone else's baby could make her happy. Not if he didn't want to lose his head.

However the little he told Janelle seemed to be enough to deviate her thoughts from the topic, much to his relief. And at least her next question was an easy one to answer.

"Were you and mommy happy when you gave me to her?" she questioned, having already more or less forgotten about her mommy and her daddy having another baby together.

"Okay… first of all, I didn't _give_ you to mommy!" Edward couldn't help correcting but then had to smile at the puzzled look Janelle gave him. "Oh, boy… I'll explain that to you someday but you're too young right now!" he caressed her chin affectionately and chuckled, thinking of the day they would have to explain to her everything about that topic. Well, he would let Bella take care of that because there was simply no way he could have _that_ talk with her. "Your mommy and I, _we_ made you, _together_, because we loved each other so very much it was the best proof of love we could give each other… you were a blessing, honey… and yes, we were really very happy to have you… in fact the day you were born was certainly the best day of my life!"

"Mommy says that, too… but can you have many, many 'best day' of your life?… coz mommy has already three!… but I only have one yet!" she said pouting slightly, and Edward smiled once more when he saw the little frown that accompanied her pout and marred her forehead as she obviously waited for an answer or was trying to find one herself.

"And which one is it?" Edward asked instead, yet almost already suspecting what would be her reply.

"The day we went to Disneyland for my birthday!" she revealed, a huge smile adorning her lips as she remembered how much fun that had been.

Now she couldn't wait for her next birthday because her mother had told her that they would go again if she wanted to. Like she needed to think it over, huh?

"I could have bet!" Edward said grinning himself, before hesitating slightly. Could he really ask her about what he wanted to know, now that she had made him think about that point? Well, it wasn't as if he had anything to lose, right? He just hoped that his question wouldn't bring him even more pain.

"And… uh… about mommy… do you know what the three best days of her life are?" he finally continued, unable to stop himself but trying to ask it as casually as possible nonetheless.

"Um-huh… the day you saved her… the day you married… and the day I was born!" she enumerated counting on her little fingers, even if she didn't quite remember if that was the right order.

"_She_ told you so?" he asked instinctively and then berated himself when he felt the slightest joy and hope flaring inside him again.

God, how could he still be stupid enough to hope when she had made it clear they were over, or at least that she _wanted_ them to be over? And besides, she could have said so but so long ago that she probably didn't think it anymore.

Yet as he saw his daughter nodding in answer, he couldn't help pushing for more information.

"When?… I mean, when did she tell you so, Jay?" he demanded tentatively and held his breath as Janelle seemed to think it over.

"I don't 'member!" she just shrugged eventually, not understanding how Edward had been hanging on her every word and how important it could have been for him to know.

Edward felt a pang in his heart and a little disappointed, but almost immediately tried to ignore the feeling. After all it wasn't her fault if she couldn't remember.

"Are you okay now, sweetie?" he asked tenderly after a moment when he realized that her well-being was more important right now anyway than finding out about something that Bella could have told her months ago and that was probably not even true any longer.

"Yah!" she answered and smiled brightly at him at last.

"Great… then, now before I forget… about the movie… which one do you want this time? You didn't tell me yet!" he inquired then, preferring to ask her and have an answer for sure, rather than choosing a movie she wouldn't like. Not that it was that hard to please her of course, but she already had a pretty huge collection, including all the Disney Classics, and she would certainly know better than he would what little choice he still had.

"Can we already have Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeakquel?" she demanded hopefully. Now that she had the stuffed animal it would be so great to have the movie, too, even if she had already seen it since her daddy had taken her to the theatre when it had gotten out.

"I don't know, but if we can, that's the one you're going to have!" he told her and smiled, not at all surprised that that was the one she had chosen.

They had had a blast watching the movie together, that was why he had thought she would love her gift the second he had seen it in the shop. Then, he himself had a blast every time he watched a cartoon, even if his favorites would be more the Thundercats ones than Alvin and the Chipmunks, so that wasn't saying much he guessed. But if he had to watch it with her, it better be something that he would enjoy as well.

"You promise?"

"I do!" he told her seriously, but then couldn't help but laugh throatily when Janelle rolled her eyes and looked at him like he had spurted another head.

"Nooo, silly!… you have to say I promise, promise, promise!" she whined exaggeratedly and said as she encircled his neck with her arms and rested her forehead against his.

"Fiiiine! I promise, promise, promise!" Edward laughed and repeated, mimicking her earlier roll of eyes. "Now come on, your mother is going to skin me alive if I don't get you to school already." he finished as he scooped her up in his arms and eventually marched inside the school.

On his way he was surprised to learn that apparently Bella had made pancakes for _him_ and he even laughed, at least a little, when _finally_ Janelle scolded him for having been late -going so far as to smack his head by the way, no less- but not because she hadn't seen much of him due to his tardiness like he had first thought, but more because he had missed the pancakes Bella had so _lovingly_ made and the occasion for them to have breakfast all together, like they used to.

Not surprisingly, almost the instant he heard her, he of course couldn't help cursing Jasper once more, but mostly he was unable to not wonder how it would have gone if he had been able to make it and arrive on time. Maybe they could have had a good time the three together and he wouldn't have to face yet what was so coming to him now.

Then at last, as he kissed her goodbye, Janelle had told him she wished they could be like a normal family again, and the way she had looked at him while saying so had been his undoing. And though the latest events definitely didn't bode well for that, at that instant Edward realized that for his daughter, he was ready to keep hoping nonetheless. Even if it was certainly not the hardest thing he would have to do, since he definitely wished they could go back, _too_.

**TBC…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Okay, I'm going out for a while but I wanted to post the next chapter before leaving, so I won't have time to comment individually on all your reviews, but just know I really loved them and really loved seeing what you thought or how you all were trying to figure out what really happened! I'm just going to say that some of you are really very close to the truth, and **jctypes**, you are really observant! ;)

**Livvi84**: no problem there, I appreciated your review as well! I'm just sorry you don't think it's realistic enough :( I try to write this story as realistically as I can, but yeah, I've never been in such a situation, so I don't know how I'd react myself, but well, there are still a few things we don't know about just yet. If you keep reading, you'll see that Edward and Bella are both feeling guilty for different things, and that they actually had a conversation, kind of, when Bella asked him to leave the house… and like I said, Bella didn't want to divorce him, despite what she 'knew', she asked him for a break, hoping that it would be enough for him to realize what he would lose! As for why Edward did so, so easily, let's just say, he thought his questions were being answered and that he didn't have much choice… but there is more than meet the eye! That's all I'm going to say for now… oh, and yeah, that there wouldn't be much of a story if they had just divorced right away lol besides, I didn't want them to go though that ;)

Well, that's it for now… more answers in this chapter, at least if you can read between the lines… and more of Janelle and Edward interaction, just because I think kids are cute when they are cleverer than their parents lol

Enjoy!

Oh, and don't hate Edward here! He's not completely stupid... just not thinking clearly or seeing things very clearly at least lol

* * *

**Chapter Four**

As he stared at the now closed doors of the elevator that was going to take him to the 17th floor of the Grand Tower building he worked in, Edward sighed loudly, drawing a few stares from his co-riders.

God, it was barely nine in the morning and he felt already more tired than if he had spent the whole week awake. This was going to be one hell of a day, he just could feel it.

Mentally, he tried to remember his schedule and how many appointments he was going to have to go through, but just remembering who the first one was supposed to be resulted to take such an excruciating effort on his part that he almost immediately gave up.

He wished he could skip the day altogether, go back to bed, go back to Jasper's uncomfortable couch even, or go and do anything else instead of having to come to work, but he knew it was definitely not an option. He didn't even know why he went though, since he perfectly knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything either.

Not until he could talk with Bella. She was all he could think about right now and though he didn't have the slightest idea of what he would tell her to make things right, or at least to make her forgive him for what he had told her, he knew he had to at least try.

If he hadn't been motivated enough before, seeing his daughter so confused and obviously so affected by the situation, was definitely motivation enough in his book.

He felt so stupid right now and with good reason. How could he have been foolish enough to think that Janelle hadn't noticed anything, hadn't perceived the changes between him and Bella? A blind man would have seen them, so was it really that unconceivable that his daughter, who was probably brighter and smarter than any other girl her age, could have seen them, too?

Oh, of course, they usually played the part in front of her and did their best to act as normally as possible, but it had apparently not been enough. Far from it. She knew there was something wrong with Bella, if only because she could see or sense her sadness, and she knew that something was off with him, too. She also thought _he_ was responsible for her mother's state, or had a part in it, and whether it was true or not wasn't even the issue. She shouldn't have to worry about that or about anything else to begin with. She shouldn't have to question anything in her life, just like she shouldn't be the one trying to find solutions to what was happening around her because nothing was her fault, nor her responsibility. She was only five for heaven's sake.

Now try as he might, he still couldn't believe that she could have asked him if he didn't love her anymore, and just the thought that his baby girl could have doubted his love for her, even if only for a mere insignificant second, was enough to make him want to break something in rage.

That she could question his love for Bella, even despite the fact that they weren't even living together, was bad enough because that would mean that they weren't even able to hide their problems from her the few times they were together and even when they were behaving and pretending that everything was alright between them in front of her. But that she could fear he might not love _her_ anymore, or even just think it, tended to prove that even with her he hadn't been good enough.

This was driving him nuts. He knew he hadn't always been there for Bella when she had needed him and that that had been, at least to some extent, what had brought them to this point, but he had always prided himself on being a good father, if not a good husband, yet Janelle had just shattered that certitude with five simple words.

Of course he knew that he had reassured her and that she had believed him, but really, ultimately, what did it say about him, huh?

The fact that she had had to ask to begin with was already painful to accept or even just admit and didn't do anything for his self-esteem, that was for sure, but what scared him the most was to have to wonder how long she had had those doubts? How long she had been thinking about that without daring ask him? How long _he_ had been blind to her distress?

Strangely and as crazy as it seemed, now he was starting to think that his fight with Bella hadn't been such a bad thing in the end after all. Sure they had hurt each other tremendously, or rather, _he_ had hurt her more than he was willing to remember at this point and there was no saying that he would give his own two arms if he could to be able to go back in time and take those words back, or anything he could have said or done that could have hurt her at one point or another for that matter, but somehow it had helped him, too. It had opened his eyes on a lot of things. The main one being that he absolutely didn't want things to end this way and even less to have to lose either of them, Bella not more than Janelle. He wasn't ready to. And yet that was what was going to happen if he didn't do something and fast.

Not that he hadn't already known that before this moment of course, but it had never hit so close to home in his mind that it _really_ could happen. Now he was put up against the wall.

Bella asking for a divorce coupled with Janelle doubting his love for her had been like a slap in the face and it was time he got his head out of the sand. They wouldn't go anywhere if he kept pretending that by ignoring his problems, they would somehow miraculously disappear. That was so not going to happen, and keeping quiet on the off-chance that they could make it somehow nonetheless if he didn't talk was just plain stupid and what was more, hadn't helped any till now. Quite the contrary in fact, judging by all that had transpired this morning. Before that, all his reasons for acting like he had, had still somehow seemed valid to him, but now that he thought of them again in the new light of the latest events, he couldn't find a single good one.

Janelle was right, till now he hadn't tried hard enough to save what there was still to save of his marriage -_if_ there were still _anything_ to save of course. But this would change now because he simply didn't want to wake up in a few years, alone, embittered and hating himself when he would remember he could have done something more but hadn't because he had only lacked enough courage to do so. He wouldn't live with regrets for the rest of his life. He would make sure of that.

That was why he needed to talk to Bella. _Really_ talk to her. He owed that to the three of them, if only to see if there was really nothing they could do before it was too late.

It would take time, he was well aware of that, considering all he had to tell her, all he had kept for himself all these last months, but there was no other way now. She would know what _he_ felt, she would know what _he_ wanted, for all of them, no more hiding anything whether it was easy to say or hear or not. And then, if despite that she still wanted to leave him definitively, she still wanted to divorce him and make a life with someone else, it would be _her_ decision but at least she would take it with all the elements in hands, and there would be no regrets for any of them. No _more_ at least, because _he_ had already a bunch of them to last him a lifetime.

God, it sounded crazy but just then, the fact of having finally taken that decision was enough to make him feel like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Even if at the same time he was scared out of his mind just at the thought that his future was at stake and solely depended on what would happen tonight.

All too soon for his liking, Edward found himself in front of the massive door of **E. McCarthy & E. Cullen Associates**, ready to face the music. Or at least he thought he was, but just as quickly, he felt all the little hope he had that he could make it through the day without too much difficulties, plummeting to his shoes when the first person he saw as he entered the impressive hall of his and Emmett's offices, was Kate Denali. And of course it was just his luck that she was alone and that Jessica Stanley, Emmett's personal secretary was nowhere in sight at the moment.

With all that had happened and all that had been going on in his head, he had almost forgotten about her, but of course Kate took upon herself to come back vividly to his mind.

Looking up from where she had been sitting behind her large mahogany desk, Kate couldn't help but smile sweetly at Edward when she saw that he had finally arrived.

God, no matter how many times she saw him, he still took her breath away. She literally lived for those moments, reveled in them, knowing that soon that hunk of a man would be all hers. She just had to be patient, she knew that, at least until he would be finally tired of that masquerade he still called marriage and put an end to it. If his dear idiot of a wife didn't do it herself first of course.

Honestly, she still didn't understand why this was taking so long, she had thought that by now everything would have been settled and taken care of, but no, they had to make it last, for whatever reasons they still had. But ultimately, it didn't matter, because sooner or later this would have to end and _she_ would be there for the final act. And then she knew that she would be rewarded for all her efforts and she would have what she had worked so hard to have, what she had coveted for the last two years, all to herself. Edward Cullen.

And even if right now he didn't realize yet that _she_ was really all he needed, soon he would know, too, and acknowledge what she had known all along. They were made for each other, and she would make sure he understood that, and then he would forget everything about his so-called wife. He would even forget he had ever been married at all, at least until she would manage to have her way and made him tie the knot again. Only this time it would be forever. So yes, it could take her long to reach her goal but since she had no doubt she would succeed, she had all the time in the world. He would see the truth sooner or later.

"Hi, Edward!" she greeted warmly, her sugary smile unfortunately not having the effect she hoped it would and nearly making Edward roll his eyes instead.

"Hi, Kate!" he replied and just at the thought of what had happened a few days ago, he had to literally force a smile on his own lips to match hers.

"You're late… Mr. Banner was here already… he just got back to his car… he forgot something apparently." she continued all business-like at first, but wondered nonetheless if there was something wrong with him, because she could be clueless sometimes, but he surely seemed ill-at-ease, there, standing in front of her.

"Uh… thank you… okay… just let me know when he comes back then!" Edward just answered, suddenly feeling a tremendous need to get as far away from her as possible, and he was ready to do just that and enter his own office when she abruptly stopped him.

"Edward?… er… are you alright?" she inquired softly before asking what had her really preoccupied. "You didn't come home yesterday night!" she finished with what was supposed to be a sexy pout.

Still not the desired effect though. In fact, Edward cringed inwardly the second he heard her say '_home_' and he had to resist the urge to just push away the hand she had placed on his forearm and that he could swear was burning his skin even through the material of his jacket.

Home? It wasn't even home for _him_ and he had lived there for months, so why she felt the need to call it home herself was beyond him. But why was he surprised? She always had to complicate or exaggerate everything, even the easiest things, so what was one more?

God, could that woman really not take a hint or what? He thought after Monday everything was pretty clear between them, so what did he need to tell her to make her understand things?

"Look, Kate… I just… I stayed with Jasper… I think it's better this way… I'm not sure… " he started hesitantly, not needing her to create a scene here when they were at work, but she interrupted him before he could tell her more.

"Edward… if this is about Monday… I'm sorry … I… " she tried to defend herself, knowing that she had messed up big time that day and that it was probably because of that that he had preferred staying with his friend for the night, but she hadn't thought he would hold it against her. She thought they were okay and that he had forgiven her.

"Kate… I don't want to talk about it… not now at least…" Edward cut her off this time. If he had still thought -_hoped_- he would be able to do it _before_ his altercation with Bella, after that he knew he was really _not_ ready to have this conversation with her right now. He would rather go and bury himself in his work directly and right this second, than having to go through that with her.

"Okay… maybe tonight then… I mean I want to make things right between us, Edward… I don't want it to be awkward now every time we see each other!" she said, doing her best to look really sorry, since apparently that was what he wanted.

"I know… but today… today's just not the best of days for me!" he replied and without waiting for any kind of answer on her part, he finally took the direction of his office, closing the door behind him the second he walked through it, hence assuring that she understood that that discussion was over for now.

In fact, if he could he would postpone that talk until she would be back from her three weeks of vacation that started tomorrow, but he wasn't sure it wouldn't only make matters worse in the end. Yet if he _had_ to have that talk with her before that, it would have to be sometime during this day, because there was simply no way he would go back to the apartment tonight knowing that she would still be there.

Deciding to forget about her and all the problems he could have with her for the moment being, he sat down and immediately searched his briefcase for Mr. Banner's file. This meeting would take long since the case wasn't easy but at least he would be able to concentrate, at least partially and for a short period, on something else. Or so he hoped.

As he caught sight of the two pictures that adorned his desk, one of Bella and Janelle together and one of Bella alone, his mind went back once more to the morning events and a sudden thought crossed his mind. He was just going to place a call when Kate's voice resonated inside the room announcing Mr. Banner's arrival and he cursed at the bad timing.

Quickly writing down a few sentences on a paper, he made his way to the door to greet the man and opened it to find Kate standing with him, just behind it.

Shaking hands with him, he then showed him inside before turning to Kate again.

"Uh, Kate… could you take care of this for me, please?" he asked, extending the note he had scribbled down.

"Sure!" she replied smiling, before actually reading what it was about. "A d-dozen of white roses… okay… but… wait, it's your address… I mean it's for your… _wife_?" she nearly squeaked out afterwards when she understood what he was doing and what that would or _could_ mean.

"So?" Edward just said, raising an eyebrow at her reaction. What was so surprising, he had made no secret of the fact that if he could he would like to go back to Bella and patch things with her, so what was her problem now?

Yet as he saw the obvious shock on her face, it took him all of two seconds to decide that asking Kate to deal with that had been a mistake, but before he could take the paper back and take care of that himself, even if it meant making Mr. Banner wait a little longer, Kate seemed to regain her composure and smiled again.

If he had paid a little more attention though, he would have probably noticed just how phony and forced that smile could be, but he had already enough in his head and more important to do to take notice of Kate's emotional state, or even look at her too closely.

"Umm, no nothing… it's alright… no problem… I'll call!" she assured and immediately went to sit again.

Suddenly she wasn't feeling very well and her legs looked like they soon wouldn't be able to carry her.

God, what was he thinking? This could ruin everything, didn't he realize that? But she wouldn't let him do that. No way. She wouldn't let him ruin their future just because he was suddenly feeling guilty for whatever reason it was. So sure, she would have the roses sent, because there wasn't any other way that wouldn't make her look suspicious, but there was no way she would transmit the message. They could get lost sometimes, or could even contain mistakes anyway. Well, then this one would simply not arrive at all, and Edward would have to blame it on the incompetence of the florist. She would make sure of that.

"She should start working soon, so they might not find her at home for a few hours… but make sure she gets them by lunchtime then." he instructed, not wanting the roses to be delivered when Bella wouldn't be there and see the deliverer miss her then, but knowing she always came back to eat at home, even if she had barely an hour for that.

It was a real gamble he knew that, she could like them and appreciate the gesture and it would help him, or she could not care at all, or simply hate him even more for even considering this would make any difference or would be enough for her to want to forgive him, but he wouldn't dwell on that right now. He would take any chance in fact, if that meant that something good could come out of it. He just hoped that she would understand that he was really being sincere and he really wanted to work things out.

"Sure, I'll just tell them that!" Kate answered and kept the fakest smile on her face, until he finally turned around and marched back to his office where Mr. Banner was still patiently waiting.

"Thank you, Kate!" she heard him say just before he closed the door and she had to resist the urge to throw something at him for being so stupid, but most of all for being such an ass and caring so little about her feelings. God, didn't he care at all that he was hurting her right now? That he was breaking her heart?

Obviously not, she almost snorted inwardly as she re-read his note.

"_Bella__, _

_I don't think at this point any word could be enough to tell you just how much I'm sorry, but really I am._

_I hope we can talk later. There is so much I need to tell you._

_Love,_

_Edward__. _

Well, that was so sweet, but Bella Cullen would have to dream the words if she wanted to know about them, because she would kill herself first before passing that note and contributing to their reconciliation in any way.

"What's that?" she heard a voice near her and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Jessica just a few feet on her left.

God, what was she doing here? she wondered irritably. Wasn't she supposed to be making photocopies for Emmett? But more importantly how much had she seen?

She almost insulted her for being such an idiot and creeping on her like that and scaring her, but then decided against it and swallowed back her retort since she didn't want to draw unwanted attention on her, or on what she had been doing.

"Oh, nothing… nothing important I mean!" she lied and smiled as she leant aside and quickly threw the paper in the trash can near her desk.

Nope, nothing important _at all_.

* * *

Janelle opened and closed the bathroom door quite loudly, hoping that it would be enough for her grandmother to think that she was really going there, and that she wouldn't suspect what she was really up to. At least not until she would have finished.

Hugging the walls like she had seen people doing it in the movies, she walked on tiptoes and as quietly as she could, stopping and freezing in her spot almost every time she heard her grandma moving around the kitchen. If she was caught, she knew everything would be over, just like she knew just what fate would await her then.

Only a few more steps, she thought as she reached the living room door and pushed it open. Only a few more steps and her daddy would come to her rescue.

Of course she had thought about calling her mother at first, but this type of situation required extreme measures and her daddy was the only one who would be able to help her now. She knew he would. It was _his_ mother she was dealing with after all, and she would listen better to her son than to anyone else. Too bad her grandpa wasn't home yet because he would have known how to handle her and what to do with Grandma Esme, too, and she knew he would have sided with her against the enemy. But since he wasn't, she had no other choice than to resort to plan B.

Reaching the phone, she grabbed it with both hands and as she hit the speed dial button for her father's office, she threw cautious glances over her shoulder just to be sure she wasn't discovered yet. She was so close, now wouldn't be the moment to fail.  
As she heard someone picking up at the other end of the line, she rushed to ask for her father, not wanting to waste any time or even bothering to greet the person. She didn't like that woman anyway. It was always the same who took the phone and she was just… too weird for her liking.

"E-Edward Cullen, p-please!" she nearly hissed into the phone, the not so loud whisper barely audible for her father's secretary.

"Hold on a second!" Kate just answered, and quite coldly at that, as she immediately recognized the childish voice of Edward's daughter.

"Edward … Janelle, line two!" she informed him through the intercom, her tone instantly warmer and a huge smile adorning her pouty lips, even if Edward could clearly not see her.

As she saw things, there was no doubt in her mind that if it weren't for his daughter, Edward would have given up on his marriage a long time ago, so it was no wonder she hated that brat. Yet she couldn't afford to be anything but friendly with the little girl, at least in appearance and in front of him. There was really no need to let him know just how much she despised his child, not if she wanted things to really work between them.

"Hey, sweetie! How are you?" Edward picked up the phone and immediately greeted, too glad for the short interruption.

Even if it lasted only a few minutes, which was only what he could afford to spend on the phone right now, talking with Janelle would certainly help him feeling a little better. She would be like a breath of fresh air and that was exactly what he needed at that second, after the morning he had had. However the good feeling only lasted until he actually heard her talk.

"Daddy, help!" Janelle all but cried into the phone the instant she herself heard her father.

"Janelle? What? What's happening? Are you alright?" Edward blurted out in a single breath, straightening up in his chair as he noted his daughter's almost frightened voice.

Immediately thinking that something had happened to her or to his mother since she was supposed to be with her at his parents' house at this time, he felt his heart hammering in his chest just at the thought.

"Daddy, you have to help me, please… grandma made me some… yuck… spinach and she want me to eat them aaaaaaall and I can't, daddyyy, please!"

"Oh, god, Jay… is that why you're calling me?… I mean, there's nothing wrong with you, right?" Edward had to ask since he had quite a hard time believing that was all it was and that the desperate tone she had used not a minute ago had only been because she didn't want to eat some spinach and not because something serious as a matter of life or death had happened. God, his daughter was such a tragedian sometimes.

If it hadn't been because she had just given him the scare of his life, he would have probably laughed at the situation, but like it was, the only thing he could do was sighing in relief. He didn't know yet who deserved the most to pay for that though, Janelle for reacting so exaggeratingly and scaring him half to death, or his mother for being the main cause of her misplaced panic, when they could have all avoided that if she weren't so damn stubborn.

"Nooo… but daddy, please… grandma says I have to eat them… I don't wanna to!" Janelle insisted whining, and then started when she heard another noise coming from the kitchen. She stopped talking a moment and held her breath, only to start again even more theatrically once she was sure it was safe. "Daddy, I don't like spinach… I. DON'T. LIKE. SPINACH… Why is grandma doing dis to me? WHYYY?"

"C'mon, Janelle, don't you think you're overreacting?… it's not that bad… and besides… I'm sure she only makes you eat them because she wants you to become a big girl!" Edward answered, barely stifling his laughter now that he was a hundred percent sure there wasn't any immediate danger or nothing threatening his daughter's life. It surely had looked like that at first though.

"I'm already a big girl!" Janelle contradicted with a pout. Of course she was already a big girl, she was already five, or did her daddy not remember?

"Bigger!" Edward just replied and couldn't help but smile at his own daughter's stubbornness.

"Like Tommy Wilkins?" she inquired, a little frown marring her forehead and her eyebrows raising in question. If eating spinach and being bigger meant becoming like that boy, she definitely didn't want either of that. She would rather stay a little _small_ girl for the rest of her life, than looking like him.

"Uh… I don't know… who is Tommy Wilkins?" Edward demanded since he had no idea who she was talking about. Of course he assumed he had to be one of her friends or someone she knew from school but he didn't know them all.

"A boy in my class… he's big… no, he's faaaaat… and he's very very bad… and he a'ways says he can do what he wants coz he's bigger than aaall of us together!" she elucidated, drawing another smile from Edward with her description.

"No, okay not _that_ big!" he chuckled at Janelle's indignation and at the mental picture that entered his mind at the thought of that child. "Just bigger than you are right now." he finished quite lamely, since he didn't know what to tell her to convince her.

"Daddy, pwwwease… I don't want to be bigger then… and… and I can't eat them, there is too much! Pleeeease! You have to tell grandma!" Janelle continued to whimper and complain desperately and that was enough to make the tough 28 years old man he thought he was, cave and do anything she wanted.

"Okay, sweetie… call your grandmother and tell her to come to the phone!… I'll talk to you again in a minute, okay?" he finally relented, thinking that it was worth trying at least, though he highly doubted that this wouldn't backfire in his face and that his mother would listen to him anyway.

She hadn't so far, why would this time be any different? But at least Janelle would see that he was willing to try and that was probably the most important to her right now. Probably more than to have to eat those spinach or not, which he was almost sure she would have to do anyway, one way or another.

"Yeah… GRAAAAANNDDMAAAAAA!" the second he agreed to help her out, Janelle screamed at the top of her lungs, much to her father's discomfort who didn't have the reflex to pull the receiver away fast enough.

"Janelle!" Edward called her, hoping it would be enough to catch her attention and make her stop before she split anyone else's eardrums.

"Uh?" was the only thing she said as she heard her father's voice again.

"Don't yell!" Edward said firmly yet not really angrily. There was no need to upset her more than she already seemed to be and if he yelled at her at this point, he could only imagine how she would react.

"Sorry, daddy!" Janelle apologized in a small voice and though Edward couldn't see her, he could perfectly picture her nibbling at her bottom lip once more. She always did when she was being scolded and she knew she was at fault.

"Grandma, someone wanna talk to you!" he then heard her say and assumed that his mother had joined her in the living room.

"Who is it?" Esme Cullen asked, advancing to her, but she didn't get any answer from Janelle. Instead she stared quite dumbfounded after her granddaughter as she saw her practically make a mad dash to the door as soon as she took the phone from her hands.

"Mom, hi!" Edward said into the phone, thinking his mother was talking to him.

"Edward? Uh… Hi!" Esme stuttered, surprised to hear her son's voice and all the more since she didn't understand why Janelle hadn't simply told her that her father was on the phone, instead of telling her that '_someone_' wanted to talk to her.

"Yeah… mom, how are you?" Edward asked her, understanding almost right away by the way she answered that she had no idea Janelle had called him.

"Fine, you? Did you call, I didn't hear the phone!" she wondered out loud, confirming Edward's suspicions. Not that it really mattered, after all his numbers were memorized into the phone and Janelle could use then whenever she wanted, but he just wondered why she hadn't told her grandmother that she wanted to call him.

"I'm fine and no… look… uh, mom what have I already told you about Janelle and the vegetables?" Edward said, deciding to go directly to the point. Unfortunately as much as he wanted to talk with his mother and his daughter, today wasn't really the day and he couldn't take his time, even less with all the one he had already lost.

"How did you…?" Esme stammered, not understanding at first what he was talking about or even why he would want to talk about that now, but when suddenly realization dawned on her, her voice raised a notch. "OH!… I can't believe her… _Janelle_!" she called her granddaughter and turned around just in time to see her escaping from where she had been spying on her from the doorframe.

"Janelle Carlie Renesmee Cullen, come right here this second or…" she continued even louder, nearly piercing Edward's eardrum for the second time in a day in the process.

Now at least he remembered where that habit to yell into the phone Janelle had was coming from.

"Mom, don't call her by her full name… it scares her… she's gonna think she did something really wrong, hide and then you won't find her in ages!" he interrupted her mini-rant and advised, knowing by experience that this was definitely not the best way to have Janelle come freely.

Quite the contrary in fact. The last time he had called his daughter by her full name himself, she had run and hidden under the guestroom bed and he had searched for her everywhere unsuccessfully until nearly an hour later, when he was ready to pull out his own hair, Bella had finally come home and Janelle had agreed on getting out from her hidden place, even if she had not come anywhere near him until he had promised her that it was alright and that he was not really upset with her.

"Sorry, but she _did_ something wrong… I can't believe she called you for that!" Esme huffed, still quite dumbfounded to hear that her granddaughter had tricked her and that she could have gone behind her back like this.

She had said that she needed to use the bathroom the instant she had put the plate on the table, when in reality she had everything planned. She should have known better. And to say that she was only five. She could only imagine then what she would be able to come up with later when she would be older and she would want to sneak out or whatever. They would have to keep an eye on her, that was for sure.

"Mom, it's no big deal really… but you know she doesn't particularly like eating vegetables! Why do you persist on making her eat them then?" Edward demanded, as at the same time he read through his next client's file, and briefly wondered why they had to go through this again or why it wasn't already settled when they had discussed the topic at least a thousand times already. His daughter didn't especially like vegetables, was that _that_ hard to get?

"It's good for her, Edward, that girl doesn't eat enough, I'm telling you… you and Bella, you should take better care of that and…" Esme started with her usual tirade on the matter, but she was stopped almost right away by Edward's pleading voice.

"Please, not again… I already told you, I'm not gonna force anything down her throat if she doesn't want to eat it willingly!… and it's not as if you can't cook anything else for her!" Edward complained, barely resisting the urge to bang his head against his desk.

He was really grateful to his parents for taking care of Janelle almost every day at lunch time, moreover when he knew firsthand what a handful she could be sometimes, at least with them, but god, if he had to hear about that once more, he was sure that his head was going to explode.

"But have you seen how little she is… how skinny!" his mother nearly whined into the phone, knowing that her son was probably right but still sure herself that it was worth trying.

"She's not… she's healthy and that's all that matters!… now she eats everything else, so why don't do with that?" Edward countered, rubbing his forehead tiredly, even if he still wondered himself why he still bothered explaining the same thing over and over to his more than stubborn mother.

As far as he was concerned, there was no reason to worry about Janelle's petite frame, because there was nothing wrong with it. She had obviously taken after her mother and from the pictures he remembered having seen of Bella at the same age, there was nothing abnormal with her size or weight, he only had to look at Bella's figure now to have all the confirmation and reassurance he needed.

Oh-kay, he should better not start thinking about that too much though. Right now was definitely not the moment to get lost in memories of her.

But beside that he was right, Janelle was perfectly healthy and ate about everything. The best proof was that she was able to endure his mother's cooking everyday and not complain about anything else beside the vegetables, even when she definitely wasn't the best cook ever if he said so himself. But he guessed he couldn't very well tell her so and take his daughter's side when she was obviously competing to become the next Martha Stewart now, could he?

"Because she needs to have a balanced diet and if you and Bella just told her so instead of letting her do whatever pleases her, we wouldn't be having this conversation, Edward… why don't you just tell her to eat them, I'm sure she would do it!… but no, of course you have to tell her it's alright… no wonder she's so picky!" Esme continued like she hadn't heard a word of what Edward had been telling her, whether it was a second ago or all the other times they had broached the subject.

"She's not picky, mom!" Edward groaned out loud, just as Kate entered his office and made him sign some papers. Smiling awkwardly at her, he dismissed her almost immediately and concentrated again on the phone. "She just doesn't like spinach, green beans and anything that looks alike… what do you want me to do, choke her with them?… besides, there's a lot of thing I don't like either or have ever liked for that matter, and I'm perfectly fine nonetheless! "

"_Ask_ her to eat them…" Esme provided like that was the most natural thing in the world. Something he should have already thought about. "Tell her it's good for her, whatever… you're her father, I'm sure she would listen to you… and… and she's not _you_, Edward, she's just a little girl and she needs to eat a little of everything!" she finished in such a disapproving tone that Edward felt he had no other choice but to agree if he wanted this to end.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he then ran his fingers through his hair, making it stand on end, and finally sighed in defeat.

"Okay, fine, put her on the phone… I'll talk to her again… but if she doesn't want after that, just leave her alone, mom, okay?" he told her and his own tone didn't brook any argument after that.

Those two were really going to drive him nuts, but in a way he thought that it was better trying to argue with Janelle than with his mother. At least with his daughter, there was a chance he could win.

"Sure, but I want you to _really_ try, Edward… don't cave at the first pout!" she felt compelled to insist nonetheless. She knew her son all too well and there was no doubt that his daughter had him completely wrapped around her little finger. She always had in fact but it had gotten only worse after her parents' separation. Esme could only guess that Edward felt guilty for not being with her more often and therefore he needed to compensate somehow and that was why he let her get away with everything she wanted, did, or said, but as far as she was concerned, it was certainly not the answer. Edward needed to be firmer with her otherwise in no time there would be no way to control that child. "Goodbye, Edward!"

"Bye, Mom." Edward replied, waiting for his daughter to come and take the phone again, but not even sure yet about what he was going to tell her to convince her to eat anything if she had already set her mind and she didn't want to. Besides she had never gone as far as calling him at work for such a thing, so the fact that she had now didn't really bode well for him, that was for sure.

Ask her to eat them, his mother had said. That didn't seem so hard at first sight, did it?

"Janelle… come here, sweetheart, your father wants to talk to you again!" he heard his mother call his daughter.

Too bad he couldn't see her though, he would have probably laughed at Esme's surprised expression when she saw Janelle's head poking into the living room from where she had obviously been lying on the floor of the hallway and listening to her side of the conversation, a sheepish smile on her face. Propping herself on her elbows and then on her knees she finally sat up and quite reluctantly made her way to the phone.

If Esme had known what was going through her head while she advanced, she would have probably laughed, too. Janelle was already thinking how she would just yell so that her father would hear her if she scolded her, when her grandmother reassure her.

"Come on, honey, it's okay… I'm not angry!" Esme told her gently and even ruffled her hair tenderly once she was near her, before passing her the receiver. But Janelle wasn't stupid, she perfectly knew that she would probably hear something about what she had done later.

"Daddy?"

"Yes… sweetie, look…" Edward started softly. "If I asked you something, could you do it for me?"

"What?" Janelle just said almost sure of what her father was going to ask anyway. She had heard almost everything her grandma had said and she knew what it meant.

"Could you just eat, let's say… ten little mouthfuls of those spinach to make me happy and proud of you?" Edward demanded tentatively, knowing that if it had to work he needed to tread carefully. The most plausible thing was that if he ordered her to eat them like his mother obviously wanted him to, Janelle would set her face against it and downright refuse to do so.

"Aww, do I have to?" Janelle almost right away protested dramatically and though she obviously already knew that she would have little choice now and it was done weakly, Edward could distinctively hear her foot stomping on the floor.

"For me, honey?" Edward insisted and he was sure that if anyone had entered his office the moment he had said the words, they would have laughed themselves silly at seeing this old grown man nearly pouting because of his daughter.

"Humph… Five?" Janelle whined and asked quite hopefully, knowing that now one way or another she would have to comply. Her father had already decided so obviously, but that didn't mean she couldn't at least try to compromise.

"Eight?" Edward tried himself, rolling his eyes afterwards when he realized the stupidity of the situation. He couldn't even believe himself that he was here negotiating over what she had to eat or not, with his own daughter. His _five_ years old daughter for heaven's sake. Could you just say all the more pathetic since he was a lawyer!

"Janelle?" he called when after what seemed like a long time to him, she had yet to answer to him.

"Pfff…'kay eight, but only fo' you!" she finally but reluctantly agreed. She was not happy of course, but eight was always better than having to eat the whole plate, wasn't it?

"That's my girl!" Edward beamed proudly and happy, knowing that she was only doing so because _he_ had asked her. "Are you going to be okay with Grandma now?" he asked then, just to be sure that there wasn't anything else.

"I guess!" her heavy and exaggerated sigh carried over the line and Edward couldn't help but smile as he perfectly imagined her lifting her eyes heavenwards at the same time.

He was going to talk to her again when she yelled a "_Noooo, grandma… daddy said only eight moonful_!" to his mother who was obviously in the kitchen again, and this time he couldn't suppress a laugh when he heard her say _moonful_ instead of _mouthful_. His mother had probably told her to come already and eat them all or something like that, he thought but obviously Janelle wasn't going to eat anything more than what they had agreed on.

"I'm gonna hang up and I'll see you later then, sweetheart!" he informed her then as he chanced a quick look at his clock and realized how long they had already been on the phone. He should really better hang up if he wanted to finish all he still had to do before his next appointment.

"You already have my movie?" Janelle questioned out of the blue as she suddenly remembered about it. She was sure that the day would pass faster if she knew that she would be able to see 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' later. She just hoped that her father would find it or had it already.

"Not yet, honey… but I'll go and get it as soon as I can leave here, okay?" Edward promised and wrote it in red on the opened agenda he had in front of him, just in case he would forget. With all that was going on in his mind right now, it wouldn't even surprise him.

"Okay… later, daddy!" his daughter just said, ready to hang up and go and eat those 'deliiicious' spinach. She should be careful though, one of these days her eyes would probably freeze in the back of their sockets if she kept rolling them like she did. At least that was what her Grandpa Carlisle told her every time she did it.

"Later, baby!" Edward answered back and smiled, even if Janelle couldn't see him.

Just as he was going to replace the receiver back on its cradle though, he heard her calling him again.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Jay?"

"Love you!" Janelle told him simply and Edward felt his heart skipping a beat at the tender words.

"I love you, too, honey!" he breathed emotionally into the phone and was still smiling when he finally heard the tonality at the other end of the line.

At least someone still loved him, he thought. He just hoped that her feelings wouldn't ever change if the situation with her mother degenerated even more instead of getting better.

**TBC…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Hey guys… here comes the next chapter, but first :

**..iluvtwilight2**: yeah, it's definitely better, even if in the end, it won't change a thing. As for why Edward is 'living' with Kate, you'll have the answer in a latter chapter… the only thing I can say for now about that is that, whether they are together or not, Edward sees her as more than just a secretary, so he's definitely not thinking in terms of lawsuits or how many problems he could have just by living with his 'secretary'. Thanks for the review!

**Flora73**: thanks, too, I'm glad you're liking the story so far! Hope you'll like the next chapter as well!

**Jctypes**: once more you really are very observant! Yes, Kate is definitely some kind of psycho, or at least, she has issues to say the least! As for the rest, yeah, something definitely happened seven months ago that made Bella sure that Edward was having an affair with the psycho secretary, and yes, said psycho 'might' have something to do with that. ;)

Oh, and you were asking about Bella's 'phantom lover' in your last review, well, you'll know who he is in chapter 9 I think it is! Just a little bit more to wait! Thanks once more for the amazing review, I love to hear your thoughts! And it always makes me smile when I see that you almost always catch on the little clues I'm leaving here and there!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: you assumption made me laugh so hard, but no, Kate was not on her period on Monday lol that's not what happened! But that was a nice try! ;) Hope you'll like the Bella/Janelle moment, too, then! Thanks for the reply!

**Longwhitenights**: no worries there, 'for once' Kate did nothing wrong here! As for Edward, he might have a hard time dealing with what he did, or didn't do, very, very soon! And yeah, as far as I'm concerned, he definitely reacted like a man, even if I can't say that Bella's reactions were any better! Thanks as well!

**Gabs9**: Thanks, hope you like this chapter, too!

**Scarletteyedvamp**: The big prize goes to you! lol… don't know if anyone caught up on 'that' but you were definitely the only one commenting on it ;) I would probably reveal too much if I answered honestly on that, but I'm just going to say that you're definitely on the right track and that this chapter might (ok, probably will!) give you more clues if it doesn't give you clear answers! Thanks so much for the review!

Well, here you have a new chapter… Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Five**

After having spent probably a good hour crying her eyes out into her mother's attentive ear, Bella had had no other choice but to pull herself together if she didn't want to drown completely in her own sorrow.

She had always known that it would hurt her tremendously the day she would have to face reality and let go of Edward finally, but she had still hoped, naively probably, that it would hurt less if she was the one to take the decision and didn't have to hear the words coming out of his mouth. Only now did she realize just how much she had been deluding herself all of this time.

It certainly didn't change a thing or else if it did, she didn't even want to start imagining what she would have felt if it had been the other way around. If now she was barely able to breathe and still feel anything, then the pain would have probably consumed her and killed her on the spot the instant Edward would have spoken the words.

There were simply no words to describe what she was feeling right that instant, but honestly she didn't think it was possible to hurt so much and still be alive. Yet she apparently was the living proof that you could have had your heart ripped out of your chest, felt it stop beating altogether and still be standing nonetheless.

What didn't kill you made you stronger, they said. In that case, she had to be the strongest woman walking the world, because she surely felt dead inside.

After having hung up with her mother, she had tried to motivate herself enough to find some strength inside of her and prepare herself for the day that awaited her. However after a few minutes just struggling to get up from that spot on the floor she had found herself for the last hour, and one look at her tear-streaked face and bloodshot eyes in the mirror once she had managed to pull herself up, had been enough for her to understand that not even a miracle would do anything for her at that point.

Reluctantly, she had made her way back to the phone and almost on autopilot, she had called Harry Clearwater, the principal of the school she worked for and what she could call a good friend, too, to inform him that she had woken up feeling really sick this morning and that she wouldn't be able to make it today. Of course since it had happened only maybe once or twice in the few years she had been working for him, he hadn't really minded and had just made her promise to take good care of her, before asking she made sure to get back at him if she wasn't feeling better by next week, so he would have time to plan something for her students.

She had dutifully promised him anything he wanted of course, but she had perfectly known that it was all a lie and that it would certainly be easier said than done, since there was no miracle cure or medicine for what she was suffering from. But she had done so nonetheless, if only to be able to hang up the fastest possible.

After that, she had spent part of the rest of the morning cleaning, scrubbing, scouring everything she could in the house like a freaking maniac, before she realized herself what she was doing, how she was acting, and she couldn't bolt out of there fast enough.

She had changed quickly then from her leggings and tight top to more conventional clothes -not that Edward had noticed she had been purposely wearing his favorite colors, or even that she had let her hair loose like she knew he liked it anyway- and in no time she was in her car, wandering aimlessly around Los Angeles, before eventually ending at Venice Beach.

She couldn't even tell herself how long she had been walking by the shore, shoes in hands, only enjoying the feel of the water lapping at her toes while a million thoughts ran through her mind, but there was no saying just how much the fresh air of the sea had helped her calm her nerves some down.

There weren't too many people, which wasn't that surprising considering it was a work day and so mostly, there were only tourists or students who were already on break for the weekend and were obviously there to enjoy the sun and maybe a nice swim, but she couldn't say that she wasn't grateful for that fact either. She didn't think she would have borne to feel crowded right at that moment.

It was kind of funny though, to think that of all the places she could have gone to, she had to choose this beach. Yet she guessed that to some extent, it wasn't _that_ surprising, considering what it represented to her. This place held so many special memories, it was probably normal that her subconscious had led her there then.

She clearly remembered all the times she had come here with Edward. How many times they had walked, sometimes for hours on end, just the two of them, hands in hands and without a care in the world. Contented just because they were together.

She remembered when she was pregnant with Janelle and wanting to learn about the sex of their baby. Edward had had an important exam that day and hadn't been able to come to the already planned appointment with her, but since he had known how much she wanted to know herself and doubted she would be able to wait another month, he had told her to go ahead and ask, but on the condition that she let him know as soon as he would get out of school. They had decided to meet here afterwards so, and here was where she had told him that they would be having a baby girl.

Edward had been over the moon with the news and after kissing her senseless, hugging her and telling her just how much he loved her, he had started running all over the beach, shouting at the top of his lungs and to anyone who wanted to hear it, that he was going to be the daddy of the most beautiful girl of the whole universe, and that just before he took a dive into the ocean, clothes, shoes and all on. In the end the sea salt had ruined one of his favorite shirts, but that day nothing could have wiped the smile off his face. Nor hers.

She also remembered like it was yesterday how they had made love once over there, by the cove on a hot night of summer when they were still so young and thought they had a lifetime together ahead of them. They had nearly gotten caught that night, but they had been too much in love and too happy to care. _She_ had been really happy then. But now she didn't even know what being happy meant, or if she would ever feel that way again.

Yeah, she had a lot of good memories here, so it seemed only fitting that when her life finally fell completely apart, she would find herself here, desperately clinging to them, even if ultimately it probably only hurt her more to remember what they had and what she had lost since then.

It seemed hard to believe just how much one's life could change in just a matter of months, but hers had definitely taken a final drastic turn today. Nothing would ever be the same after this day, she was well aware of that. But if she had known this morning that this was where she would find herself, heartbroken and with all her hopes shattered, she would have certainly refused to wake up and found a way instead to remain in the dream world, where she could feel Edward's warmth and protective arms enveloping her.

At least in her dreams Edward was loving, caring and everything was perfect between them. Perfect like it had been before everything started to fall to pieces, or before they started hiding things and lying to each other.

She knew she had done her share of that, too, but knowing she could be partially responsible didn't help to forget or lessen the blow of his betrayal. It was too hard for her to tell herself that this was the end. That she would be alone now, while he would be living the perfect life with his new love.

It was even harder to look back in time and try to cling to her last memory of them together and realize once more that it had been a lie, too, another one of her delusions. That night she had been awoken by his tender caresses, she had really thought it would be a new beginning for them. That that was the sign she had been so desperately waiting for. She had believed that everything would be all right again, that everything _could_ be all right, if they were both willing to work on it. She had wanted that more than anything else in the world. And that night she had started to hope again, hope that their love would be stronger than anything else and that somehow they would find their way back to each other.

She had hoped that together they could heal each other, and for a short moment, while she was in his arms, while he was inside her, he had filled that void she had felt for the last month and she had truly believed they would make it. She had thought that they would not only overcome their problems, but that once he would know, once she would have told him what she had been hiding herself for the last month and what had made her change so much herself, she would finally be able to really let go of the pain and be the wife he needed her to be again. With his help. Just like she would help him in return when he would finally realize himself just how much he had already lost. She would no longer be the only one to grieve for what was not anymore, he would share her loss and together they would surmount it, surmount anything that life threw their way. Surmount what _she_ couldn't alone. Yes, _together_. Because when they were together, they were invincible. And as long as they loved each other, she believed they could do anything.

But Edward hadn't loved her then. Not emotionally and certainly not physically. He had _fucked_ her, that was all it had been.

His dear Kate wasn't there, maybe they had had a fight or maybe she was having her period or whatever the hell her problem had been, and so he had turned to her instead to satisfy his needs. She had been the rebound choice, second best and so he had fucked her, taking her forcefully like he would have taken any girl for whom he wouldn't have felt a thing.

God, everything had been so much clearer after that, at least once she had known about his mistress, because though Edward could be pretty wild in their lovemaking, even if she hadn't realized it at that precise moment, that day it had been something completely different and she should have really known better.

She hadn't understood his fierceness then or why he had seemed to be angry, and she had honestly quickly dismissed the thought at the moment, thinking that she was just imagining it, but with time she had finally figured out the reasons behind his behavior. She had understood why he seemed to be unable to look at her. Why he hadn't kissed her. Or why he had not been able to tell her he loved her. All those little things that had seemed insignificant on the spur of the moment, but that had made so much sense once she had taken the time to think about them.

She wasn't the one anymore. Plain and simple, that was why. She wasn't who he really wanted either and he was probably disgusted with himself for being so weak and betraying the one he really loved now. The gentleness of his touch, the tenderness of his words, the looks of love were now saved for another woman, and the realization hurt more than anything else could have ever hurt. And had she known that then, she could honestly say that she would have never let him touch her, because she would have preferred not having him at all, not feeling him this close to her again, not hoping so much again, rather than succumbing to him, letting herself feel again and understanding afterwards just how little that night had meant to him, when it had meant the world to her.

Yet once more it was too late to change anything about that, or wish she could have done things differently. She would never be able to go back in time for that and that was why she needed to stop living in the past. What was done, was done and all she could do now was to try to forget about it altogether. Surely easier said than done of course, but it was that or simply going crazy and letting herself fall completely apart, and she really couldn't afford that.

The sudden happy cries of children playfully chasing each other and passing her by, pulled her out of her thoughts and as she finally checked the time, she realized that she had been there for so long already that it was almost time for her to go and get Janelle. It really was hours already, but it had definitely not felt like it.

As she thought about it, she also realized that with all that, she hadn't even eaten, but it wasn't as if she had much of an appetite lately or if she truly believed she would have been able to keep anything in her churning stomach anyway. She rarely did most of the time now, and even if it wasn't very apparent yet, she knew she had already lost some weight, which of course couldn't be good for her either. But what was she supposed to do against that, huh? Even her body seemed to rebel against the situation.

Eventually deciding that if she didn't want to be late or be caught into the traffic, she should better go, she put her shoes on again and made her way back to her car.

Almost as soon as she was in and she started to pull off her parking place, she switched the radio on like she always did. However this time she cursed the second music drifted inside the car and she wished she hadn't, even if she couldn't bring herself to turn it off now.

Wasn't it kind of funny, or ironic in a weird kind of way that every time you were really depressed and didn't think you could take much more, there was always this song on the radio that made you feel even worse if that were possible. That song that seemed to talk to you, to reflect so perfectly your state of mind, almost like the person who had written it knew perfectly what you were going through or what you were feeling. Like maybe they had been there, too, and could share your feelings and your pain. Yet even knowing that someone else could have been where she was now and could understand her, right now it didn't help any. Quite the contrary in fact, because she couldn't help but think, if they needed a song to exorcize their grief, what would _she_ need?

_**Love was always supposed to be  
Something wonderful to me  
To watch it grow inside yourself  
To feel your heart beside itself **_

Love.

She would have laughed, if she didn't feel so much like crying first at that moment. If asked later, she would probably say that this was the exact moment when she realized that that word didn't mean a thing for her anymore.

Today Bella Cullen had finally given up on love. She had stopped believing true love could not only exist, but last. Because if what she thought she and Edward had had couldn't survive the years and could be so easily destroyed and cast away, then it couldn't be real. Not when she had given herself to him completely, heart, mind, body and soul and yet in the end it had all been for nothing. It hadn't been enough. Nothing had, no matter how much she had tried or how much she had wished it could.

_**Sometimes it hurts to love so bad  
When you know you've given all you can  
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh  
You do your best but still it's much too sad  
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh, oh  
And it hurts like hell' that's the way it feels **_

She had learnt the hard way just how much it could hurt to love so unconditionally, so wholeheartedly, moreover when the feeling was not returned. She had felt the pain so deep in her heart some times, she could have sworn she could feel it, _hear_ it being shred to pieces. But it didn't even compare with what she was feeling right now and she really didn't know how she would be able to go on after this.

God, how did you even go back once you had gotten so far? It seemed impossible to her to go back to normal. Not if being, feeling normal meant being without Edward. Living without him. Without his love.

_**True love' it has no hiding place  
It's not something you just put away  
It's always there inside of you  
Oh' and it shows in everything you do**_

Sometimes when it was too much, she almost wished she could just forget she had ever loved Edward Cullen, even known him, but god, how was she supposed to do that when he was such a part of her? He owned her heart, her very soul. From as far as she remembered, it had always been him. There hadn't been anyone else for her. No one serious at least. And she just knew that no matter how much time would pass, she would never, ever be able to love any other man the way she had loved him either. Not even after this. Not even knowing he hadn't had any problem doing so himself, or forgetting about all they had shared, all the promises they had made to each other.

_**Sometimes it hurts to love so bad  
When you know you've given it your best  
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh  
You feel a thousand miles from happiness  
Sometimes the pain is just too much, oh, oh, oh,  
And it hurts like hell' that's the way it feels **_

She knew she shouldn't think like that because a lot of good things had come out from loving Edward. Janelle for one. And if only for her she would never regret having loved Edward, but really _like hell_ was still a mild way to say just how much she was hurting, now that she knew she had to let go.

Yet, the fairy tale she had thought she would be living in for the rest of her life had apparently simply come to an end, and she would have to do with that and accept that the only thing that would be left of it, was the beautiful little princess they had made together.

_**Oh, oh' oh, oh  
Here we are' the two of us  
So full of love' so little trust  
But dying for some tenderness  
Ohh' but too afraid to take the step **_

Trust.

Such a simple notion. So easy to give sometimes. But just as easy to shatter, too.

Maybe if they had trusted each other more, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if she had told him the truth from the beginning, instead of distancing herself from him because she was too afraid to talk to him, afraid of his reaction, they wouldn't be where they were now. She didn't know exactly when he had started his affair with Kate, but maybe if he had known then, it would have been enough for him to put an end to it and come back to her while it was still time. She guessed she would never have the answer now and it was already too late to undo what had been done then, but sometimes she really wished she had been stronger and acted differently.

_**Sometimes it hurts to love so bad  
When you know what it can put you through  
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh  
There's nothing funny if it's killing you  
Sometimes the pain is just too much  
And it hurts like hell' that's the way it feels **_

_**I know if there is any chance  
For us to find our happiness  
We've got to learn to let it go  
Ohh' forget all the pain we knew **_

Now at this point, unless some miracle happened, she didn't think it would ever be possible for them to go back and find again what they had once had, even if there was no saying just how much she hoped they could. And that meant that one way or another, she would have to start learning to live without Edward, no matter how much it hurt to even think about it, because so far that was clearly not what she had been doing.

As crazy as it seemed or clearly was, she had still hoped too much for a better ending to be able to. But now even if it killed her to do so, she didn't have any choice left, not if she wanted to survive.

She couldn't help but wonder though, if one day she would stop feeling the pain every time she would think of him, of them, or if she would just stop feeling so empty inside.

_**Sometimes it hurts to love so bad  
Sometimes it hurts so bad' baby  
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh  
Sometimes it hurts to even laugh oh'  
And it hurts like hell' that's the way  
Oh, baby' that's the way it feels  
Yeah' yeah' oh' yeah **_

**[It hurts Like Hell© Aretha Franklin.**

* * *

She parked the car as close to the school as she could, which wasn't an easy task due to the fact that despite all her efforts, she had arrived way after other parents, and almost immediately looked at her reflection in the rearview mirror. Nearly groaning when she saw her tear-streaked face again, she quickly wiped away the remnants of her tears and sighed heavily.

No matter how much she hadn't wanted to break down or how much she hated herself for being so weak, she hadn't been able to stop them from coming, but now she couldn't and wouldn't let anyone else see her this way.

Most of all she didn't want Janelle to see her in such a state, knowing that she would probably worry if she did. It was bad enough that she had seen her cry this morning, even if Bella believed she had somehow managed to keep up appearances, she couldn't let her question her once more though, she thought, and so only once she was completely satisfied with the way she looked, did she exit the car.

She walked along with a few other parents who apparently had had the same problem she had, greeting those she knew and smiling politely at those she didn't, but when they arrived in front of the school and she saw that some of her daughter's classmates were already out, she quickened her pace, not wanting her to think she had forgotten about her or she wasn't already there, waiting for her.

She spotted Janelle almost as soon as she passed the school doors and smiled as best as she could for her sake, but the smile progressively turned into a frown the closer she got.

"Hey… what happened to you, sweetie?" Bella inquired the second Janelle joined her and she squatted down to her level to greet her with a kiss.

Janelle immediately shrugged like it was no big deal, but Bella hadn't missed how she seemed to limp, even if slightly, as she was approaching her and she was determined to know why. And so it was no wonder that only one look from her was enough for Janelle to know her mother wouldn't let it pass, even if she hadn't wanted to talk about it at first.

"Tommy Wilkins pushed me and I fell!" Janelle sighed at last and replied, before lifting her dress a few inches so her mother could see the little band-aid she had on her left knee now after her visit to the school nurse.

"What? What happened? Why did that… why did he push you, Jay?" Bella demanded, barely catching herself before she could insult the child.

She knew it was not an uncommon thing for children to play and get a little carried away, but it wouldn't be the first time she heard about that little boy's reputation, or how he all but _terrorized_ almost all the other kids, and now hearing that he had set about her own daughter instantly made her see red.

" 'Cause I told him he must stop eating so many spinach 'cause that's why he was so fat!" Janelle revealed like it was the most natural or logical thing in the world. And to her it was, only Big Tommy hadn't seemed to share her view, even if she was only trying to help him out.

"Umm… uh, okay… but why would you tell him such a thing, honey?" Bella questioned a little puzzled, but some of her anger deflating as she heard her daughter's answer.

Though it absolutely didn't justify his action in her eyes, if Janelle had told him he was fat, it was little wonder the kid had not appreciated.

" 'Cause daddy said spinach can make me get bigger… and Tommy is really too big so I thought he could know and maybe then he wouldn't get so big no more." Janelle shrugged once more as Bella straightened up and after having taken her hand in hers, they started to make their way to the car.

"Your daddy said that?" Bella inquired, quite surprised by what Janelle was telling her or by the fact that Edward, even involuntarily, had had a part in this, and as she saw her nod her head, she couldn't help but ask her when.

She guessed that it had been today, otherwise Janelle would have probably told Tommy already and this would have happened sooner, but she didn't quite know how she should feel knowing that Edward might have been able to carry casual conversation with his daughter when she had been crying her heart out almost all day and was still barely able to hold it together right now.

She knew it was unfair to think that way, after all she _pretended_ to be alright in front of Janelle, too, if only for her sake, so she shouldn't feel hurt or angry to know that Edward could do so as well, if that was what it was, but there was still a small part of her that thought that if he managed that, it was only because he just didn't care. About what had happened, or about her.

"At lunch." Janelle answered casually, not understanding why it seemed to matter so much to her mother. She had thought she would be more concerned about the fact that she had soiled and slightly torn her dress than by what her daddy had told her or when.

"You saw daddy at lunch today?" Bella continued with her questioning, wondering if Edward had gone to have lunch at his parents', too, and that was when they had had that conversation. But knowing him, it seemed very unlikely, since he spent most of his lunch time in his office, barely eating anything in fact. Unless of course what she had told him this morning had affected him and he had wanted to make up for the time he hadn't spent with Janelle before school.

"Uh-huh… I had to call him because grandma wanted me to eat too much spinach and I didn't want to… but daddy helped me and said it was okay to eat only eight moonfuls and grandma could say nothing then!" Janelle related her story to Bella who, just like Edward had a few hours ago, couldn't help but smile, too, when she heard her say 'moonful'.

"I think you wanted to say _mouthful_, didn't you?" Bella corrected and almost laughed when she saw Janelle scrunch up her nose before answering.

"That's what I said!" she stated stubbornly, rolling her eyes and looking at her mother like she had lost her mind, or she thought she had some hearing problems.

"Okay… so is that the only reason why Tommy pushed you?" Bella asked, thinking that sometimes her daughter was just too smart for her own good.

"Not really!" Janelle answered vaguely, only succeeding in piquing Bella's interest even more.

"What do you mean by _not really_, honey?" Bella inquired and as they finally reached the car, she scooped Janelle up into her arms and lowered her to the hood, much like Edward had done in the morning. "Let me take a look!" she then asked as she proceeded to lift up her dress a little and carefully take off the band-aid to check her injury.

As far as she could see, it was nothing bad, the cut she had now was pretty small, but the area around it seemed to have already started to bruise slightly.

"It's 'kay, mommy… it don't hurt no more now!" Janelle was quick to dismiss her mother's concern, even if that wasn't the complete truth, and then she tried to explain what had happened. "Tommy said I was a stupid girl and I have cooties… and I said he was more stupid 'cause he don't even know that daddies don't give mommies the babies… and he got really mad!"

"And how would _you_ know that?" Bella demanded, clearly shocked that her daughter could have said that with such assurance and therefore suddenly more interested by what Janelle had to say than by her knee, or why Tommy had indeed really pushed her.

"I know 'cause daddy said he hasn't given me to you!" she retorted confidently before asking nonetheless. "He hasn't, right?"

"Uh… what exactly did your father tell you, sweetheart?" Bella preferred to answer her with a question of her own, and a good one if you asked her.

She was not sure of what she could tell her anyway, and she couldn't quite believe that Edward could have had '_the_' talk with Janelle already, but obviously he had to have said something. Yet whatever that could be, wasn't she a little too young for that? she thought as she tried to imagine what could have prompted that conversation.

"That he hasn't given me to you… but that you made me together 'cause you love 'ch other so, so, so muuuch…" Janelle repeated in substance what her father had told her, only adding gesture to the words and opening her arms as wide as she could to represent her parents' love. Then with a very proud smile and a nod that seemed to say '_and now get this_', she added: "… and I'm a blessing!"

"You are, huh?" was all Bella could manage to get out past the huge lump of emotion that clogged her throat the instant she heard Janelle.

It wasn't so much the words she said that affected her so greatly, because there was no denying that when they had conceived her, they had been very much in love, but more the fact that Edward could have admitted it, or the way she was saying it herself, too. Like it was something very special, even still now, even when Bella well knew that that was only in the past.

"That's what daddy called me!" Janelle answered, not departing herself of her smile. "Am I a blessing, mommy?" she asked afterwards nevertheless, as she started playing with a few strands of her mother's hair.

She wasn't sure what being a blessing meant, but considering the way her father had said it, she was pretty sure it was something good. Besides that, she really liked that word so it could only be cool to be a blessing, right?

"Sure you are, sweetie… you're the most beautiful thing that could have happened to me!" Bella whispered emotionally, doing her best to not cry in front of Janelle, which was really not easy at that moment.

She was sure that she wouldn't need much more before she wouldn't be able to hold back her tears any longer. And so she did the only thing she could do. She tried to concentrate on something else than Janelle telling her that Edward had once really loved her.

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt anymore?" she couldn't help but ask as she finally replaced the band-aid on her daughter's knee and saw her slightly wince despite her earlier assurance that it was okay.

"Yeah!" Janelle whispered, making a face nonetheless. "It's gonna be better when daddy kisses the pain away!" she then added so her mother wouldn't worry about her.

"Oh… because _I_ can't do that, huh?" Bella teased, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

It was through times like this that she found herself wondering if she shouldn't feel jealous of Janelle and Edward's closeness, of the extents of Janelle's so obvious affection and love for him, which were clearly and just as much reciprocated, or even just of their so evident complicity, but deep down she knew she was just being ridiculous. Janelle probably loved them both just as much. She was just more open with her feelings for Edward, that was all, or at least she was in front of her. Maybe then on the other hand when she was with Edward, she couldn't help but talk about her, or ask for her, she reasoned.

"Janelle?" Bella called out after a second when she saw her lowering her head instead of answering her. Not that her question really called for an answer, but she hadn't expected her to react that way. And of course her concern only grew when the next second she noticed her biting her bottom lip, the sure evidence of how nervous she had suddenly grown.

"It's not that…" Janelle started hesitantly, before finally admitting the reason why she would rather have her father take care of that. "I just don't want you to be in pain no more."

Her father had explained her once that if he could kiss her booboos away it was because he was stronger, and therefore he could take the pain for her so that she wouldn't have to feel it herself. She also knew that her mother could do that, too, like all mothers could according to what her father had also said, but she didn't want to impose more on her. Not when she knew that she wasn't alright. Her mother didn't need to have another booboo because of her, because even if she couldn't see hers, she knew that to cry so much like she knew she did, she had to have a lot of them already.

Besides, her father had made her promise once that she would only ask her mother to take her pain away if he wasn't there to do so himself. Now even if he wasn't there right now, she knew she would see him soon, and so there was no real reason to break that promise this time. Therefore, though it still hurt a little and her knee felt sore, she would endure the pain until her father would get rid of it for her. And since she was a big girl now, she could even do that without complaining, couldn't she?

"Uh… Janelle?… why… why do think I'm in pain?" Bella stumbled over her words, clearly not having seen this one coming.

Actually that was probably the last thing she expected Janelle to tell her. She had thought it was just a matter of Edward having proclaimed himself the expert in kissing her booboos away, but now she clearly realized that it was more than that. Which tended to prove just how bad she was at masking her feelings in front of her daughter after all.

" 'Cause you cry a lot… and you're a'ways sad!" Janelle provided much to Bella's surprise, and then, before she could even deny the truthfulness of her words, Janelle did something that nearly broke her heart.

Bella felt her cupping her face tenderly and as best as she could with her tiny hands, like she had seen Edward do to her on so numerous times when he wanted to tell Janelle something important, and she gulped when Janelle looked at her seriously and whispered fiercely.

"But you don't have to be sad, mommy, coz I love you… and daddy loves you, too."

"He does?" Bella breathed out achingly, barely able to contain the tears that brimmed her eyes at this point.

She knew that breaking down and crying once more was certainly the last thing she should do, moreover considering what Janelle had told her not a minute ago, but her daughter's innocent words were just too much for her to take. Of course Janelle certainly didn't understand what she was doing or what those few words could mean to her, and she was probably only assuming things or telling her what she believed was still true since in her mind Edward _had_ to love her, but she couldn't not be affected by them for all that, even if she only realized afterwards the ridiculousness of her question. Like Janelle could really answer to that, or could understand why that had been the first thing she could think about or say upon hearing her words.

But obviously she could answer, despite everything Bella thought.

"Yah… very, very much… he loves us both… and we mean everything to him!" Janelle was quick to reassure her, even if she didn't realize that by including herself this time, she only made Bella want to know even more suddenly.

Clearly her '_we mean everything to him _' couldn't be something she had made up alone, or the conclusion she had come to on her own, which could only mean that Edward had told her something. And Bella was determined to know what it was.

"_He_ told you so?" she asked before she could stop herself, or wonder if she really wanted to know. Or even how she would react if she told her no.

But Janelle quickly put a stop to that thought when her nod confirmed that those had apparently been Edward's words.

"When?… I mean… when did he tell you so, Jay?" she went on, needing to know now if it had been recently or a long time ago.

Had Janelle been older, she would have probably wondered what could her parents' problem be, or why they seemed to ask her the same questions and want to know exactly the same things, since even if she didn't know it, Bella had used the exact same words Edward had when they had been almost exactly in the same place in the morning, but since she didn't really understand those adults' things, she gave Bella the answer she wanted without a second thought.

"This morning!" she just told her, which was more than what Edward had received since when he had questioned her, she couldn't remember when her conversation with her mother had taken place.

"Really?… what did he exactly say, honey?… do you remember?" Bella continued carefully, even if she felt bad for pumping information like this from her own daughter, but knowing Edward had talked to her, and that only maybe a few minutes after their fight, she couldn't help herself. Knowing that, even after what had transpired between them, made her feel things she wasn't able to control.

Against her better judgment hope flared in her heart a brief moment, but she all too soon tempered the feeling as the rational part of her brain made her acknowledge the fact that even in the case Edward didn't feel an ounce of love toward her anymore, he would certainly never say so in front of his daughter. Therefore she shouldn't let herself see too much in the fact that he could have said that he loved them both.

In a way, if she let herself look at the situation objectively, she guessed that it wasn't so surprising. Since she was the mother of his only child -for now at least- she would certainly always hold a special place in his heart and mean something to him, no matter what their relationship could become. And he would probably always love her, too, then, but not in the way she wanted, needed him to. Not like a husband loved his wife. Nor a man his supposed soul mate.

"Hmm… that he loves me so, so much, no matter what happens… and I have to never forget that… and that he loves you, too… and that's not a problem… and he's working on it!" she replied, trying to remember as much detail as she could, or at least what she thought had been important, but she mixed things up a little nonetheless.

Bella tried to process what she was hearing, but what Janelle was saying wasn't very clear to her. So okay, apparently Edward had clearly told her that he loved her, but she couldn't even relish the knowledge because she just couldn't understand what she meant by 'it was not a problem'. It was not a problem for what? Or for whom? For him? It didn't make any sense to her.

Yet even if that was clearly confusing, what marked her the most at that moment wasn't so much that, but more the last piece of her sentence.

Words spoken a long time ago came back to her mind almost as soon as she heard it and she cringed inwardly when she was forced to remember them. Last time she had been told Edward was _working on_ anything, it had certainly not been on her, on her feelings or on a way to save their marriage. That was actually the day she had realized how little it really meant to him.

"Mommy?" Janelle pulled her out of her thoughts as she called her, which was certainly a very good thing considering where they were taking her, and Bella looked down to see her staring right back at her, the question evident in her eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Would a baby make you more happy?" Janelle asked innocently, not realizing that that was certainly the last thing in the world Bella needed to hear or think about at that moment. Not with how emotionally weak she was feeling already.

Bella sucked in a breath and the next second her heart tightened so painfully in her chest, she thought she would expel her last breath anytime soon, but somehow she still managed to stutter.

"Why… why would you ask me that, Janelle?" her voice cracked as she forced the words out, and she prayed with all her might that Janelle wouldn't notice.

A baby. Thinking about it was bad, but _hearing_ the sweet word tore her heart to pieces.

Dear God, was she being punished for something? Hadn't she suffered enough already? Would she only be able to live through this day? she couldn't help but wonder, the questions rushing through her mind as her nightmare continued.

"I don't know… 'cause daddy says babies make the parents very happy, and I want you to be happy again!"

"Did you talk about this with your father?" Bella blurted the question out and held her breath afterwards as she waited for the answer.

"I told daddy that he could give you another baby to make you happy…" Janelle chewed on her lip and answered hesitantly, her mother's expression making her wonder if she had maybe done something wrong. Daddy hadn't seemed to be very pleased with her suggestion either, so maybe that wasn't something a little girl should ask her parents, even if she couldn't understand what the problem could be.

"And what did he say?" Bella inquired, her voice trembling anew, no matter how hard she tried to be strong. At this point, whatever got out of her daughter's lips could perfectly destroy her, but nothing could have stopped her from asking.

"Uh… I don't really 'member!" Janelle lied, thinking that maybe she shouldn't talk about this anymore. The last thing she had wanted to do was to upset her mother, and yet it seemed that she had done just that.

"Did… did he say he wanted another baby?" Bella insisted, not realizing that Janelle was simply reluctant to reveal more because she feared her reaction.

And she had all the reasons to, even if she didn't know it.

For months Bella had been waiting to hear about that, probably as much as she had waited to hear him say that he wanted them to divorce, yet it had never come. However now, hearing Janelle speaking about what Edward could have told her, she couldn't help but wonder if this was it. What if Edward, after finally having made her ask for that official separation, was already preparing Janelle for what would come?

What if it was even already too late and Kate was already pregnant?

Oh, dear Lord.

Closing her eyes a brief moment, she wished the pain that sliced her heart at the thought to go away, but her prayers went on deaf ears. Even after having tried to prepare herself to this possibility for months, it hurt so much she couldn't breathe. She felt her throat work spasmodically and her lungs suddenly burned with the imposed lack of air.

God, she would just die if Kate Denali took from her the only thing that she hadn't managed to take, yet. Yes, she would just collapse and die, if she was deprived, too, of the last thing that until now made her still be somehow different, _special_ in Edward's eyes.

What would she have left if Kate was able to give Edward that, too?

Nothing.

No, nothing but her eyes to cry.

"No… only that I made him very happy when I was born… and you, too!" Janelle replied, knowing instinctively that it would be okay to admit that. After all it was only the truth, she already knew that, so it couldn't hurt.

Even in her state, for a split second Bella believed that Janelle was telling her that _she_ made Edward happy, but reason took over once more and as she tried to really concentrate on what she was saying and not what she wanted to hear, she realized that she had meant that Janelle made her happy, too.

God, her brain was surely screwed and big time if she could still manage to think that she could have made Edward really happy. If he had been, he wouldn't have turned to anyone else. He wouldn't have destroyed their love for the love of another woman.

How stupid could she really be?

"You did, sweetie!" Bella tried to pull herself together and after an immense effort, she managed to smile down at her daughter.

And as Janelle smiled back at her, she realized that Kate Denali had already destroyed almost everything in her life so far, everything that was really important to her, but she would never be able to take this from her, no matter how hard she could try.

Janelle was her and Edward's daughter, the living proof of how pure their love had once been, his first born, and no one would ever be able to replace her in his heart, even if he could forget he had loved her, her mother.

Most importantly Janelle would always be with her, would always love her, and she would be what would keep her alive and going, no matter what ordeal or tragedy she would have to face.

As she looked up to her mother and felt her caressing her cheeks affectionately, Janelle intuitively sensed that she was not far from crying again, even if she didn't really understand why that was, and so she decided to change the subject, hoping that if she talked about something else than babies, her mother would be alright.

The only problem was that the only thing that came to her mind at that moment was talking about one of her favorite subjects instead, and of course that didn't help Bella feel any better. But Janelle had no way to know that.

"Will daddy stay home tomorrow mo'ning?… 'cause I want to watch the cartoons with him!" she asked hopefully, thinking that it was way too long since they had enjoyed their Saturdays morning ritual together.

"I-I don't know if he will be able to stay, honey, but if he doesn't have to work, I'm sure he will watch them with you." Bella stated, even though she knew that what she was saying was another one of the many lies she had already told Janelle.

Edward had only _stayed the night_ on Fridays a very few times in the beginning, in the guestroom, and only for Janelle's sake, even if she didn't know where he was sleeping. It had actually been his idea, to make sure Janelle didn't realize what was happening between them, but after a while he had just stopped asking her if he could stay and she had assumed that the situation wasn't to his liking anymore, or most likely not to Kate's.

Now most of the times, when Janelle asked for him in the mornings she didn't have to go to school, she was told that he had to leave early but would be back later, and she was none the wiser about whether he had spent the night or not.

"Good… but there's no more cookies, mommy… and no more Cocoa Beebles … and daddy don't like my Cocoa Puffs!" she reminded her mother worriedly, thinking that if her father couldn't have his favorite cereal maybe he would leave sooner and she wouldn't be able to have her breakfast with him, or simply see him.

"I know… so what about we stop by the supermarket before going home and we take care of that, huh?" Bella suggested as at the same time she lowered Janelle to the ground.

"Yes… and can we buy skittles, too?… there's no more skittles at home, mommy!" she asked since she had eaten the last the day before.

"Sure, sweetie!" Bella of course accepted, knowing how Janelle loved that stuff, and after having tenderly tousled her hair, she opened the door for her.

As she helped her daughter hopping in the car and she saw her beam at what she was sure was the thought of seeing her father and so unaware of the turmoil that ragged inside of her at the same time, Bella swore that she wouldn't let herself think about Kate, about her relationship with Edward or about the possibility that the two of them could conceive a child together any longer.

It wouldn't do her any good to torture herself with those thoughts. Besides, whether it were already too late or not, there was nothing she could do to stop the course of things. She had unfortunately lost the opportunity a long time ago.

* * *

Not an hour later, they were exiting the supermarket when Janelle gave Bella the scare of her life.

Usually she was very careful every time they were outside and she always managed to hold one of Janelle's hands to cross the roads or any passage used by cars, but this time since she hadn't thought she was going to buy so much, she hadn't bothered with a cart. Consequently it was with her hands full with the two paper bags containing their shopping that she crossed the parking lot, while Janelle walked by her side or a step ahead, clutching to her chest the box of Cocoa Peebles for her father, the only thing she had wanted to carry.

They were almost near the car when Janelle unexpectedly started to skip along as she hummed one of her favorite songs. A second later she twirled around happily, already thinking about what cartoons she would see with her father in the morning this time, and oblivious to her surroundings, she missed the car that was too rapidly coming her way, giving Bella barely time to react before it was too late.

Letting go of her bags, she yelled her daughter's name and gripped her by the shoulders before she could take another step and be run over by the speeding car. Unfortunately, in doing so, she lost her balance herself and they both stumbled backwards, knocking down the young woman who was passing behind them, as she had just parked her own car and intended to join the entrance of the supermarket herself. However, at that moment Bella didn't even notice her, since she was definitely more concerned then about her daughter's state to see or care about anything or anyone else.

"Oh, god, Janelle… you okay?… are you okay, honey?" Bella pulled her up and asked, her voice quavering and her heart still beating erratically after the fright she had had.

Frantically she ran her hands all over her child's body just to be sure she wasn't hurt, even if deep down she knew she was alright, and she couldn't help but expel a relieved sigh when she didn't notice any kind of injuries.

"God, sweetie… how many times have we told you to look both ways before crossing a road… or stepping into traffic… or god… _anywhere_… and even when it seems like there is no car?" Bella then scolded her reflexively before she could stop herself, even though her voice didn't really hold any anger.

She just wanted to make sure that Janelle realized that this could have been avoided if she had done what she and Edward had always taught her. She was supposed to do so, even when they were holding her hand and if she had checked this time, she would have probably seen the car arriving and Bella wouldn't have felt like she was going to die right on the spot herself.

"I… I-I'm sorry, mommy!" Janelle whispered, certainly not understanding all the implications of what could have happened to her, but aware nonetheless that she had done something she shouldn't have. Her mother only used that tone when she was upset or when she wasn't very pleased with her, which was never a good thing for her. "I'm sorry." she repeated, her bottom lip trembling and very near to tears now.

"No… no, don't cry… shhh, it's okay, sweetie… it's okay… you just scared me!" Bella soothed immediately and smoothed her hair back tenderly before taking her in her arms. The last thing she wanted was to see Janelle break down and cry right now, knowing full well that she would just follow suit if she did.

Hugging her tightly, she couldn't help but wonder though what she would have done if anything had happened to her baby. She had already lost so much, she didn't think she would survive if she had to lose her, too. "Don't you ever do this again, okay?" she all but pleaded then when Janelle wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her just as tight.

"Is she alright?" the woman Bella had collided into and whom she had almost already forgotten about spoke suddenly, breaking the tender moment and bringing Bella back to Earth.

"Oh, yeah… I-I'm sorry… yeah, she's fine!" Bella replied and for the first time really looked at the other woman.

She was staring back at her and at Janelle with a sincere expression of concern, while she pulled on her dog leash and tried to calm it down, and Bella couldn't help but feel bad.

"Did I hurt you?… Are _you_ alright?" she inquired, feeling a little ashamed that she hadn't even paid more attention to the woman who had cushioned their fall. She really hoped that she wasn't hurt, but as far as she could tell she seemed to be alright, too.

"Yeah, I'm fine… you don't have to worry!" she dismissed quickly with a wave of her hand, before turning to Janelle. "Hey, sweetie… you can stroke him if you want… he won't bite!" she told her gently as she saw her looking at her one year old Labrador and thought that the beautiful little girl could probably use the distraction. After all it had been a real close call and if her mother hadn't had such quick reflexes, she didn't even want to think about what could have happened. She could only imagine then how frightened both of them could have been and how much they would want to forget about it.

Unfortunately the instant Janelle stepped forward and reached out to touch him, the dog yapped and she couldn't help but go and hide behind her mother's legs, apparently more scared by the dog than she had had time to be because of the car.

"Hey, it's okay, Jay… look!" Bella tried to reassure her daughter who suddenly was clinging to her like her life depended on it, and she squatted down to pat the puppy herself when he stopped barking.

He seemed to appreciate the stroke and lay down, putting his head between his front paws as Bella continued her ministrations, soon but hesitantly joined by Janelle who seemed to realize that now it was safe.

Bella smiled as she saw Janelle overcoming her apprehension and finally stroking the dog's fur and talk to the animal like he could understand her, but her next question caught her off guard and all too quickly put a damper to her happy feelings.

"Can I have one, mommy?… Can I have a puppy, too?" Janelle suddenly demanded, almost already sure of the answer but feeling she needed to ask nonetheless.

After all you never knew, her mother could be in a good day and accept. Or maybe she should ask her daddy directly in fact if she really wanted one, it seemed to be harder for him to tell her no.

Yeah, she almost instantly thought, if her mother said no, she would just ask her father later. It would probably be easier and she would have more chances to have what she wanted.

"Oh… uh… no, Janelle… you're too young yet, sweetie… maybe in a few years!" Bella immediately denied her request, knowing that Janelle would never be able to take care of a puppy on her own right now, and she really didn't feel like being the one to have to do the job for her.

Much to her surprise, Janelle didn't put up a fuss like she expected her to, but Bella knew all too well that there were things that could be much worse than that and so she quickly adverted her gaze from her daughter nonetheless, sure that if she saw her pout or turn up her all too famous sad and begging eyes to her, she would probably cave in the second and go and find her a pup.

However if she had known just why Janelle wasn't protesting, she would have probably forgotten everything about pleasing her in any way and asked herself a lot of questions about her daughter's already manipulative nature instead.

Looking anywhere she could but at her, that was when Bella really noticed the mess she had made when she had let go of the bags. Most of the food she had bought had spilled out of them and was now scattered around them on the ground, along with most of the contents of her handbag and the other woman's one and Bella couldn't help but groan at the sight.

"Oh, god… I'm so sorry about this!" Bella apologized once more as she saw her already picking up her things.

"No, it's okay… no harm done!" she smiled up at Bella as she grabbed for her compact and her lipstick that had rolled to Bella's feet.

Following her example, Bella started gathering what she could save of the food. Fortunately most of it seemed to be okay as far as she could see and she hadn't even broken the two glass bottles she had, but she quickly realized that there was nothing to do with Janelle's favorite yogurts, if the way they were leaking out of the cartons was any indication. They were absolutely ruined and she really didn't feel like going back inside to get others.

Luckily though, Janelle didn't seem to mind since all that really seemed to concern her was to know if they could keep Edward's cereals, even if the box had been slightly damaged when she had dropped it.

Once Bella confirmed that as long as it wasn't opened, it wouldn't be a problem, Janelle seemed more inclined to help them, too, and so between the three of them, it didn't take long to collect everything.

Bella and Janelle lingered there a little longer though, since once she had really gotten past her fear, Janelle didn't want to leave the dog and Bella was all too eager to indulge her, if it assured her that she wouldn't ask for a puppy of her own again once they would be alone.

Generally Janelle was the kind to ask for something badly and then quickly get tired of it once she had had it, so she really hoped that if she let her play with this dog for a little while, it would be enough to content her for now.

However when she noticed the other woman looking at her watch, she realized that they were most certainly keeping her from her own shopping and probably making her late, and therefore she did her best to convince Janelle that they had to go as well. Not an easy task of course and it took her some time to manage that, but she was just too glad that her moment with the puppy had made her almost instantly forget about the incident with the car to care. She just wished it could have been enough for her, too.

* * *

When they finally arrived home, Bella was surprised to see her neighbor, Mrs. Petersen, coming to greet her with a bunch of beautiful white roses and tell her that they had been delivered earlier around lunch, but that since she hadn't been there, she had managed to convince the deliverer to let her take them for her.

Another surprise was to notice that there was absolutely no card with the flowers, and so Bella had no clue as to whom had sent them. Mrs. Petersen joked about the fact that they were most likely coming from her dear husband who probably didn't need a card to let her know he was thinking about her. She even asked her if she hadn't forgotten about an anniversary or some special event, but unfortunately, even if she didn't know it, she only succeeded in hurting Bella even more than she already was with her reasoning. In fact Bella almost cringed at the irony of the situation. Next year she would have a special reason to remember this date all right, only it wouldn't be a good memory.

Of course she tried to mask the pain as best as she could and as she told her that she highly doubted they were from Edward, the woman concluded that she had to have a secret admirer who was too shy to reveal his identity. However Bella quickly dismissed that thought, too, wondering afterwards if that scenario wouldn't be even worse than anything else.

She was so not ready to deal with some stalker, or someone who thought that sending flowers anonymously was fun. Personally, if it were someone she barely or didn't even know, _she_ found it kind of creepy, even if Mrs. Petersen herself seemed to think it was kind of cute.

As she put them in a vase and started to put away her shopping, she tried to not think too much about who the mysterious sender could be, but honestly she couldn't help but wonder nonetheless. Despite everything that was happening, a small part of her wanted to believe they could come from Edward, but the logical part of her brain kept telling her that it didn't make any sense.

Though Edward was one of the very few who knew that white roses were her favorite flowers, she couldn't see a reason why he wouldn't have wanted to let her know he was sending them. Besides, considering what had happened the same morning, he was certainly the last person in the world who would want to please her or send her flowers. Unless of course he had been really sorry after their fight and all the horrible things he had told her and that was his way of apologizing. But why not say so then? Why not have a few words written down? The lack of card only seemed to complicate things.

What was she supposed to do now? she couldn't help but wonder as she prepared Janelle her afternoon snack. If they were from Edward, she appreciated the attention of course, how could she not, but how was she supposed to thank him if she didn't even know for sure? How would he react if she suddenly thanked him for something when he didn't know what she was talking about?

More importantly, if he weren't the sender, would he care at all to learn that someone else was sending her her favorite roses? Or would he just be happy for her and pleased that she was apparently moving on, too? That was probably what he would deduce if he knew she was receiving flowers and that on the same day _she_ asked him for a divorce. Maybe he would think that someone else felt like celebrating at the news, which seemed a totally stupid reasoning in her opinion, but she wouldn't put it past Edward to come precisely to that conclusion and imagine the worst, moreover with the opinion he seemed to have of her now.

Now the question was: did _she_ want him to think she was moving on or not? Considering his reaction this morning, she would rather not. It would only complicate even more an already complicated and tense situation. Besides, she wasn't sure how she would react if he insulted her again, or even less if he was simply indifferent this time. Once was hard enough. Twice would probably kill her.

In the end so, she decided to play it safe and that the best attitude to adopt when she would see him then was to act like she had forgotten about the bunch. If he confirmed he had sent it and asked her if she had liked the roses, she would answer honestly, but if he didn't, she wouldn't take any risk and therefore she wouldn't talk or say anything about them either. Knowing Edward, if he had anything to do with it anyway, he would probably downright ask her or at least drop a hint or two to know what she had thought about it, if he saw she wasn't going to be the one to start talking about it.

That seemed easy finally and yet it had taken her nearly twenty minutes to just figure that out. It was little wonder then that Janelle was now calling her name and looking at her like she was wondering if something was wrong with her, when she had spaced out for that long and hadn't even noticed that she had already finished with her peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or that she was apparently waiting expectedly for her to say something.

"What about you and I go and put our swimsuits on and we head to the beach for a while?... Would you like that?" Bella proposed out of the blue when she realized that she would just go crazy if she stayed there, dwelling on the situation or just waiting the rest of the afternoon for Edward to come.

Besides, she really needed to find a way to occupy Janelle until then, otherwise she was sure that the girl would ask every other minute about her father and when he would be arriving, and she didn't think she would be able to stand it. The beach seemed like a good idea then, moreover since being there had helped to soothe her nerves earlier and she was really hoping it would have the same effect on her again this time, too.

"Can we?… Really?" Janelle asked hopefully, already bouncing up and down at the prospect.

They had a pretty big pool in the backyard, though she didn't have the right to go there and swim if there wasn't an adult with her, but the beach was always more fun to her. There she could play with the sand, build castles, sometimes she could even bury her father under tons of it -although she seriously doubted her mother would be as ready and willing to let her do that with her, too, today, even if she asked gently- or she could also play in the water all she wanted if she stayed by the shore and where she could be clearly seen. So if there was a possibility they could go there right now, she didn't even need to be asked twice for her answer.

"If you're up to it… yes!" Bella replied, smiling at her daughter's enthusiasm. However the smile faltered slightly at her next question.

"But we won't miss daddy if we go there, right?" Janelle nibbled on her bottom lip and couldn't help but ask nonetheless as the thought crossed her mind. She really wanted to go, but if that meant that they wouldn't be there when her father would come, she wasn't sure it was a good idea after all.

"No, we won't, sweetie… I promise!" Bella answered honestly, knowing that one way or another they would have to be home by the time Edward was due to arrive. Otherwise she was pretty sure Janelle would throw a fit if she missed only one precious minute with her daddy. "What we could do though is to prepare some sandwiches and take some drinks with us and that way we could eat there just before coming back. Then you'll just have to shower and put your pj's on and I'm sure that by then your father will be here, ready for your movie evening… Would that be okay?" she added, trying to find a way to really reassure her.

It was the best she could think of to be sure they could really enjoy some time at the beach without having to rush back here, make her eat and prepare her for the time she would have to go to bed. It would have probably been kind of late for her by the time they started the movie if they planned to let her see it _entirely_, but knowing her daughter, she was pretty sure that Janelle would be asleep before the end of it anyway, so she didn't have to worry about it. What worried her more actually was to know that after that, she would find herself alone with Edward and that she wouldn't be able to postpone the discussion she knew was coming any longer.

"Yes… thank you… thank you!" Janelle beamed excitedly and immediately wrapped her little arms around her mother's waist to hug her tightly, before running up the stairs to go and search for a swimsuit.

While Janelle was up changing herself, Bella prepared a basket full of food for the two of them, and soon after she was joining her. Once she was dressed, she then helped Janelle searching for her beach toys and when she was sure they had not forgotten anything, they were out of the door and in the car once more, ready for their girls' afternoon.

Bella could only hope that Janelle would enjoy herself and that seeing her daughter happy would be enough to take her mind out of her problems. It usually worked quite fine, but with her impending meeting with Edward looming just over her head and all that it could imply or change in her life, she wasn't sure this time. It seemed very unlikely she would be able to think about anything else in fact.

She knew all too well that her future depended on that next encounter and though she didn't know anymore what she should or could expect of it, she just hoped that whatever they did, whatever they decided, everything would be alright and that they would be able to discuss things like the two adults they were supposed to be and not hurt each other more than it was necessary, or more than they already had.

But unfortunately and though she didn't know it yet, once more Fate seemed to have other plans for all of them.

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Oh-kay, here we are, the chapter I dreaded posting lol

**Faniac**: your analysis was spot on… they are definitely retarded when it comes to communicating with each other, no doubt about that, but the main reason is because neither of them was wishing to hear the other say it was over! Not the best thing to do of course, but sometimes you can't help how you react!

As for Bella, yeah, she didn't tell Edward what happened to her, and let's just say, he's going to hurt a lot once he learns the truth!

Concerning Kate now, you're almost right again! Your answers are actually in this chapter! ;) Thanks once more for your review!

**Jctypes**! LOL I can understand your frustration, but let's just say that they haven't always been like that… they just lost sight of what was really important and what it took to make a marriage work! Of course you need to talk! Moreover when you have all these beliefs you're not even completely sure about!

Hmm, as for the cliffhanger and the emotional upheaval, you might hate me in a minute :( but just trust me, I'll make everything right… eventually!

Bella is passive, yes, but like I said, it's mostly because she doesn't want to hear the words… now she's kind of up against the wall so to speak, so don't worry, they'll eventually talk and she will tell him about what she knows! As for Edward being a moron, yeah, I can't deny that, he definitely is, most of the time, but don't worry, he'll figure things out as well! ;) Thank you again!

**Flora73**, thank you once more for the review!

**Longwhitenights**: sorry about the confusion, I meant that she didn't make him sign any paper he shouldn't have signed! She definitely did something wrong with the flowers, only she doesn't know it's not going to work for her in the end! Thanks, too, for reviewing!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: no new fight for Bella and Edward, no… but they probably would have preferred for once :( … just don't worry too much, okay? Thanks as well!

Okay… here goes… just, please, don't hate me… and trust me! Like Edward said 'I'll make it go away, guys… I'll make it go away' lol … or at least I'll make it better!

* * *

**Chapter Six**

She drove fast, with the window lowered and the music blasting quite loudly in the car, just like she liked it. And today after the horrible day she had had, she needed that even more than she could have any other day.

She felt like driving for hours and never stopping, or at least not until she would have completely cleared her head and she wouldn't care about a thing anymore. But she knew that wasn't a real possibility, not with all she still had to do at home. Yet she wouldn't let herself think about that right now.

Now was more about feeling carefree for a little while, even if only for a few insignificant minutes, and forgetting that her life didn't make any sense anymore, even to herself.

Hearing the first notes of one of her favorite hits, she turned the volume up another notch, and forgetting for a moment that she wasn't alone in the car, she started singing along the lead singer and found herself really smiling for the first time in the day.

_**Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby  
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around  
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby  
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still **_

_**I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin'  
You know that I have from the start  
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don't break my heart**_

She bobbed her head to the music and sang at the top of her lungs, not caring in the least that she was probably all but butchering the song, or even that to the external eye and everyone that would drive by her at that moment, she had to look like some crazy loon or completely ridiculous, but it felt definitely too good for her to give a damn.

_**"I'll be over at ten", you told me time and again  
But you're late, I wait around and then  
I run to the door, I can't take any more  
It's not you, you let me down again **_

_**(Hey, hey, hey!) Baby, baby, try to find  
(Hey, hey, hey!) A little time, and I'll make you happy  
(Hey, hey, hey!) I'll be home  
I'll be beside the phone waiting for you  
Ooo-oo-ooo, ooo-oo-ooo**_

_**Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby  
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around  
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby  
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still**_

[ Build me Up© **The Foundations.**]

As she intoned the next chorus, she heard something that sounded awfully like a little explosion coming from the right side of the car and the next second she even felt it swerve slightly. Taking back control almost immediately, it didn't take her long either to understand that she had burst a tire.

Great. Just _great_, she thought, cursing inwardly at her luck. That was so not what she needed now, moreover when she had no idea how to frigging change a wheel alone. She didn't even know if she would have the physical strength to do so on her own, or even less if she only had a spare tire to begin with.

Pulling over right away, she stopped the car on the hard shoulder and wondered briefly what she would do now.

Sighing heavily, she turned off the radio and cut the ignition, just before she got out of the car and moved around it to see the damage.

Seeing the now flat tire, she couldn't help but kick it several times in anger. Why had she even only thought that this day would end any differently or any better than it had started? When had she ever been that lucky, huh?

Coming back to the driver's seat, she passed her hand through the open window and grabbed the keys to go and open the trunk. Thinking that she had to at least '_try_' to change the wheel herself first before requiring anyone else's help, she searched for the jack and growled out loud when after a few minutes she couldn't find it and realized she didn't even have one. So much for wanting to try, huh?

She pondered her next move a brief moment and when she understood that no one was apparently going to stop voluntarily to help her and that therefore she had really little choice left now, she walked back to the driver's door and hopped back inside.

Reaching inside her handbag for her cell phone, she went through her phone book to try and find someone who could come and help her and when she found the right person, she quickly dialed his number.

She waited for the ringing sound but when she didn't hear anything, she looked puzzled at her phone, only to find out that she had no reception in the car. Hitting the steering wheel in exasperation, she quickly looked to the back to the apparently sleeping form sprawled on the backseat, and after deciding that nothing would happen in the short time she would be out, she grabbed her handbag and exited the car once more, locked it just in case though, and started to walk until she could find at least a little reception.

When she found some, she redialed the number and waited impatiently for the person to pick up. As she heard the voice greeting her on the other end of the line, she rushed to explain her situation, before realizing that she had only been connected with his voice mail.

Sighing in frustration then, she threw a quick look at her watch and since she knew he should be home soon, she decided to leave a message nonetheless, giving him all the necessary indications to find her and telling him that she would be waiting for him, and hoped that her desperate tone would be enough to convince him to get there quickly. With him, you never knew after all.

Not having realized herself at first just how far she had gotten from her vehicle, she walked back quickly, deciding that it would be better and safer for her to wait in the car.

She was only half way through there though, when suddenly tires screeched loudly and chaos erupted all around her, causing her to jump in fright.

Her first reflex was to turn around abruptly to see what was happening since the first sounds had come from behind her and as she did, she saw several cars braking in obvious panic, while others were already stopped in the middle of the road, but then she heard a crashing sound coming from the side she had been coming herself and she turned just in time to see a car colliding violently with her own parked one, the deafening sound of wrecked metal echoing around her.

She witnessed horrified as her car was nearly ejected to the road shoulder and was flipped over, and instinctively she started running in that direction, only to realize that that had been the worst idea she could have had.

Tires squealed stridently once more as the same car that had hit hers tried to avoid her, but all too soon and before the driver could do a thing to control it, it was on her and her helpless and frightened scream couldn't even pass her throat that it was already too late.

* * *

Edward had really thought that Bella would call him. Not that she had to, of course, but he knew that that was what he would have done if the roles had been reversed. And now the fact that she hadn't, was kind of scaring him because in his mind it could only mean one thing. She was not ready to forgive him.

Not that he had truly believed that a bunch of roses and a little note would have been enough for that, far from it. He knew that it would take more than that and some great amount of groveling on his part to erase the harshness of his words and make up for his attitude, if he ever could of course, but he had still hoped that it would be a start and that she would understand that it was his way to call a truce and that therefore she would have given him a sign, anything, to let him know that she was at least maybe willing to try, too.

He really didn't know how to take then the fact that she hadn't even tried to contact him. All he knew was that he would have really appreciated it, even if it were only to tell him to get lost, at least then he would have known where they stood, but since he was more determined than ever to have that talk with her, it hadn't been enough to make him give up for once, or deter him in any way.

He had called her every other hour on her cell phone, when he knew she would be on a break, but either it was out of range reach, or she had simply turned it off, because there had been no way for him to get through. Of course he knew that he should just forget it for now then, but her silence had really made him anxious. And very antsy.

That was why after his last appointment, not too long after Janelle's call, he had shut himself away in his office and tried to catch up with the work he hadn't been able to do before -yet should really have- while he was too busy brooding over his problems with Bella, or over what he would tell her once he would see her again. What he _should_ tell her in fact, if he wanted to make sure she would hear him out and maybe then give him another chance. He knew the possibilities for reconciliation were slim, but it was definitely worth trying.

There was no saying though how little work he had in actual fact managed to do, even after the few hours he had spent alone without being bothered. And for different reasons.

First, he really didn't understand what was happening to him, but since the beginning of the afternoon he had been on the edge and had had the nagging feeling that something was going to happen, something big, and though it sounded so totally stupid, he just couldn't cast the sensation away. And so of course it surely didn't help matters at all then that he had tried to join Bella almost all day without being able to get hold of her and all combined, well, he really didn't know what to make of it. He tried to convince himself that it was just because he was nervous and dreaded how their next encounter would turn out but unfortunately, it wasn't enough to make him feel better.

Then to top it all, there was also the fact that Kate had been acting weird almost all day -or just weirder than the usual if that was still possible- and that she had nearly bitten his head off the last time he had asked her if she had taken care of the roses. Just to be sure, you know.

So granted he had maybe asked her one too many times if everything had gone alright, if she had managed to get _white_ ones, if she had not forgotten to tell the florist to have them delivered at lunch time and not before, if she had made sure that they didn't forget anything on the card… but was that reason enough to almost snap?

For him, definitely not, but apparently for her, it had been. And that had made him consider one thing he had preferred to not regard too closely until now. Obviously Kate was more serious about him than what he had assumed, or way more than what she had tried to make him believe.

Or at least she _could be_, if her reaction was any indication. Which logically should have prompted him to talk with her and make her understand once and for all that they just couldn't work and do so before it got out of hands, but right that moment he really couldn't bring himself to call her in and speak about that with her.

After all, if he hadn't managed to convince her Monday night when she had climbed into his bed in the middle of the night and tried to seduce him -or whatever the hell it was she had thought she was doing- and he had had to spurn her advances, that he absolutely didn't feel that way about her and that the two of them together was just not a possibility, not then and not ever, how was he supposed to succeed now when he didn't even know where to start and he had his head just too full of other things, way more important to him than that? He would probably express himself badly and end up hurting her more than necessary, and that was the last thing he wanted. Nope, that just screamed disaster to happen a little too much for his liking.

Then on the other hand, he could also just be overreacting here and see more in her attitude than what it really was, and therefore he could just be worrying about it for nothing. Maybe it just stung some to see he could reject _her_ when _she_ had done nothing but be supportive and be his shoulder to cry so to say whenever he had needed to talk to someone and pour his heart out, but then he was ready to apologize and go back to a wife who had cheated on him and didn't seem to care less if the situation was slowly killing him or not, and so Kate resented him for that.

Which could be perfectly understandable of course, but if as a friend she could be upset about it, worried for him, or just think that he was a real idiot for even considering going back to Bella and she felt the need to let him know it, he didn't think it gave her the right to judge him or act like she had a say in his life.

But maybe he should have told her that, too, the other night then. That she couldn't just assume things in general, or ask for more than what he could give and so she couldn't resent him if, or when, he didn't meet her expectations either, instead of just trying to make her understand gently that taking their relationship any further would be a mistake for both of them, even if technically he hadn't said that in so much words. Not only because they were working together and he was her boss, but because it was clear to him -or at least it had been at that moment, now he wasn't so sure anymore- that they had no feelings whatsoever for each other and so he didn't feel like compromising their friendship by having meaningless sex with her then, since honestly that was all it would have been, at least on his part, and that was just so not him.

And if that was not enough yet, another reason would be that even if he didn't even take into account the fact that in his mind and heart there was absolutely no way he could be in such an intimate relationship with anyone but Bella and therefore he highly doubted that his body would…_ function_… with someone else, there would still be the fact that though he didn't have any _romantic_ feelings as far as she was concerned, it didn't mean that he didn't care about her, and that was sufficient for him to not even consider using her that way, if only because he respected her just too much to go there.

At the moment, he had really thought she had understood, even if he hadn't gone into too much detail to be honest, because clearly the only thing he could think about then was getting her almost completely nude body out of his bed and as fast and as far away from him as possible, but maybe he should have taken some time to discuss everything with her nonetheless, when everything was still fresh so to say. It would have probably been easier in the end.

Too bad he hadn't thought about that back then, because though he had clearly known it would be awkward between them for a certain while after that, he hadn't expected it to be that way and now he knew even less how to broach the topic again. How was he supposed to bring it up again now, what should he say, huh? '_Hey __Kate__, you know, about the other night, when you took upon yourself to think I wouldn't mind the company and you invited yourself into my bed_'… yeah sure, that would do just fine, wouldn't it?

He was already uncomfortable beyond measure just thinking about it, so how was he supposed to talk about it without sounding like a moron, or simply an insensitive boor to her then? And even if she had said she was sorry afterwards and had blamed it on the fact that she was feeling extremely lonely lately and that was why she hadn't been thinking clearly, it didn't help any right now. Nor did the fact that she had admitted herself then that it had been a mistake and said they should just forget it had ever occurred.

Well, _he_ couldn't forget just like that, and no matter what she had claimed at that moment, he _needed_ to make sure that it wouldn't happen ever again nonetheless, hence he _needed_ to tell her so in clear and unambiguous terms, whether he was ready and like it or not.

Yet even after everything, he couldn't even say that he was upset with her or anything, since after all it could happen to anyone to long for something more and want to feel loved, if only for a brief moment, he knew that firsthand, but there was no doubt that her lapse of judgment had only complicated things between them and that she should have really known better.

Hadn't she stopped to think about what could happen if he was not interested and rejected her? Hadn't she stopped to think about the consequences? Duh, obviously not.

But could that be his fault? he couldn't help but wonder. Maybe he had involuntarily sent her… _signals_ that had made her think he would be okay with that and that was what he wanted?

No, god, what was he thinking? He couldn't be that stupid, or have done that and not have noticed, moreover since finding himself in bed with her was probably the last thing in the world he would think about and even less want. But come to think of it, _she_ couldn't be that stupid or clueless either. Not when she knew he still loved Bella.

She had probably heard him saying so more times than she wanted to hear it in the conversations they had shared about Bella, so she had probably just decided to ignore that fact, for whatever reasons it was. Which would tend to prove that she wanted just sex apparently, since if she tried something like that, even knowing he was in love with another woman, it was probably because she didn't care, right? She couldn't care that much about him then, or about the fact that it would have only been a fuck, could she? Which was a good thing for him, right?

Well, at least she hadn't seemed to mind _at that moment_, but now if she started to act all jealous, or whatever it was she was doing, because of Bella, there was no saying how badly this could end.

Yet if it came down to having to choose between Bella and what he wanted with her, and keeping Kate here, no matter how good a secretary she could be, it was already a done deal. Kate would lose her job -and their friendship at the same time- in the blink of an eye, if she was not able to understand that no one would ever be able to compete with Bella, or come before her. It could sound drastic and maybe even unfair, but now that he had set his mind, if he could have another chance with Bella, he would certainly not let anyone ruin it.

God, he would probably laugh himself silly if he didn't think it would only make him sound even more pathetic right now. Like he didn't have enough on his plate already and really needed any more drama in his life, huh? And for heaven's sake, really, what the heck had he been thinking asking Kate to take care of those flowers? Where was his brain at that moment, huh? Well, stupid question. He perfectly knew where it had been. Focused on Bella and that was why he hadn't been able to see past that.

Or to his defense he could also add again that he had really not thought, at least not at that moment, that it could be a problem for Kate. After all, being his secretary he was used to delegate to her tasks that could be quite personal. It wouldn't have been the first time, and so far there had never been any problem. Yeah, but then again, she had never so shamelessly and obviously tried to make a move on him before either, so maybe he should have considered that first, moreover since it was so recent, and thought about it better.

He could only imagine what it should have looked like to her, seeing him nearly begging for forgiveness to a woman she thought didn't deserve him anyway and that, not even a week after having more or less made her understand that she, Kate, wasn't good enough for him.

She had said so herself on more than one occasion when he had complained about the fact that he couldn't understand how he and Bella could have reached such a point. Not that hearing her saying that he could do so much better than Bella and that if she didn't realize what she was letting go it was her loss, had been of any comfort of course, but he knew Kate was just trying to help, even if it rarely worked.

To be honest, he didn't even know himself what could really help him at this point. He had wondered about that almost all day, since he had spent most of it seeing people coming to him for some kind of help, for some solution to their problems and all the while he had asked himself what he could do to help _himself_.

Yet, so far, he had not found any satisfying or even any miraculous answer that would solve everything that could go wrong in his life right now, so he would have probably mulled over the situation some more if he hadn't been unexpectedly interrupted.

* * *

"Kate … I told you I wasn't taking any calls! Take care of that!" he nearly growled into the intercom when the shrilling sound of the phone resonated into the office.

God, couldn't he just have a freaking moment of peace or what? One that would last? Apparently even that was too much to ask for today.

"It-It's Jessica, Edward… and I know what you said… but it's… it seems important… you should take this one!" Jessica informed him hesitantly, knowing who it was since the man had introduced himself immediately, but not sure of what she was supposed to tell him.

Obviously, considering who was calling, something had to have happened and she didn't feel like being the one to give him the bad news, yet if he didn't take that call, _she_ would have to.

God, why did Kate have to leave just at that moment? She so didn't know how to deal with that kind of situations. And moreover with Edward, since though they saw each other almost every day, she couldn't really say that she knew him. At least not as much as Kate seemed to, or just _claimed_ to.

"Hello?" Edward greeted as he reluctantly picked up the receiver.

This better be good, he thought, he was already too much behind in his work to waste any more time. And so totally not in the mood, should he add.

"Mr. Cullen?" the voice on the other end of the line asked, though the man was pretty much sure he had been directed to the right person.

You would think he would be by now, but even with all the years he had been doing this, he was still not used to it and he still hated just as much having to be the one to contact the family when such a thing happened.

"Yes! Who's speaking and how may I help you?" Edward asked, his curiosity piqued by the formal tone his interlocutor seemed to use, all the more since he absolutely didn't recognize the voice and yet he figured that that person had to have insisted to get to him, otherwise Jessica would have never passed the call, knowing of his instructions. Besides, if he were just a new potential client, she would have probably asked him to call at another time, or directed him to Emmett.

"Doctor Molina… Cedars Sinai Medical Center… are you related to Isabella Swan Cullen?" the man inquired as carefully and gently as he could, knowing by experience what reaction such a question usually caused. But it had to be asked, since he couldn't very well afford to talk about the condition of a patient with the wrong person, even if in this case he had already more or less figured out their relationship.

"B-Bella? Y-Yes!… yes, she's my wife… why?" Edward stuttered, feeling a chill pass through his bones at the question. But all too soon realization dawned on him and as his brain registered all the implications of the little he had just been told, he felt his heart tightening in his chest just at the thought that anything could have happened to her. "Wait… you're calling from the hospital… oh, god… what happened? Is she there?… Is she alright?" he demanded panicked, dreading the answer more than anything else, and sure that it would just be the end of his world if the doctor had to reply negatively to his own question. She just _had_ to be alright.

And yet a part of him already knew that she was indeed there and that if she wasn't able to call him herself, it could only be because she was clearly _not alright_.

"Mr. Cullen… I'm sorry to announce you that this way and over the phone, but your wife has been in a car accident… she's been admitted in my unit this afternoon and…" Dr Molina tried to give him as much necessary information as he could, but like always, people weren't very inclined to listen to the details in such situations, and this man who feared for his wife's life wasn't any different.

The instant he heard the word _accident,_ Edward bolted out of his seat and subconsciously blocked out the other man's voice before he could even finish with his explanation. There were just words that he couldn't hear, moreover since he really didn't like his tone or what it could imply.

Who the hell started a sentence with '_I'm sorry to announce you that this way and over the phone…_' anyway if it weren't to announce a very, _very_ bad news. Generally it could only mean one thing, and there was simply no way it could be that. Edward simply refused to even consider it. The only thing he wanted to hear then was that it wasn't as bad as it sounded and that no matter what, she would make it. He just _needed_ to hear that she was okay. And that was what he asked for.

"A-A car accident… oh, lord… how is she? Is she alright?… she is, right? … it isn't… god, please tell me it isn't serious!" Edward barely croaked out, his head spinning rapidly suddenly and no sooner had he gotten up that not surprisingly he felt the urgent need to sit down again, if only for a minute, if he wanted to be able to move again.

However it didn't seem to help any and instead of feeling better, he felt a wave of dizziness washing over him and he even had to support some of his weight on his elbows, sure that he would just pass out there and then and fall off the chair otherwise. At the same time his heart triple hammered in his chest and he was sure that he would see it just burst out of his ribcage and fall at his feet or on the desk in front of him any second now.

This couldn't be happening. No, this just couldn't be happening. Not Bella. God, not his Bella.

"I'm sorry… but her condition is actually _quite_ serious yes, unfortunately…" the doctor started cautiously but almost immediately stopped when he heard his interlocutor repeat a litany of broken '_no, no, no_'. "Look, Mr. Cullen… I think it would be better if you came right now!" he tried again, realizing he couldn't very well discuss the details of her condition over the phone any longer anyway. Not with the way he was reacting so far. It would probably only make him panic even more actually and would make matters worse in the end. "Mr. Cullen?"

The name met a dead silence on the other end and soon after, all Dr. Molina heard was the tone indicating that Edward had hung up on him. He could only hope that the man would find someone to take him there, because he wasn't sure he would be able to drive himself in the state he had seemed to be.

I'm sorry.

Your wife.

Car accident.

Quite serious.

_Quite_ serious.

_Serious_.

The words echoed in his mind, but no matter how many times he heard them, he just couldn't believe they were real. They didn't make any sense to him at that moment, not if they were put together.

_Serious_. What was serious supposed to mean exactly anyway? A million things really. _It's _serious_, she's been badly hurt but nothing incurable… It's _serious_, she's so hurt that she might not completely recover… It's _so serious_, there is nothing we can do anymore…_

Yeah, it could mean so many things, each one worse than the other, but there was only one way to find out, he realized and so before he could ponder those thoughts any longer, he was up and out of the door.

"Jessica … where's Kate?" he demanded, looking at the empty desk where his secretary should normally have been.

"She needed to go and run an errand, but she shouldn't…" Jessica answered, immediately getting worried as she took in his appearance.

Color had drained from his face and as she saw him standing there in front of her, she could distinctly notice the trembling of his hands, the shaking of his whole body in fact. Simply put, the normally composed Edward Cullen she knew looked like a nervous wreck at that moment to her.

"Okay… it doesn't matter in fact!" Edward interrupted her before she could elaborate more. "Just tell her to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day… and for… for the next week! And tell Emmett… god… j-just tell him that I have a family emergency and… I-I'll call him!" he informed in one breath, wondering himself afterwards how he was still able to keep standing, or just keep thinking.

"S-Sure… is everything going to be okay?" she couldn't help asking, seeing how Edward seemed to grow more and more agitated with each word he had to force out of his mouth. Besides, if he was asking for all his appointments to be cancelled, not just the two he still should have had later but the whole following week, too, it could only mean that whatever had happened was really serious.

"I don't know… I-I really don't know!" Edward just mumbled, probably more to himself than to her, before exiting his office and running to get to his car.

He hoped with all his might that it would be okay, because he really didn't know what would become of him if it were otherwise. He honestly didn't think he would survive if it were really as bad as that doctor had given him to understand, or just what it had felt like.

No, she _had_ to be alright because he couldn't lose her. He just couldn't. Not now. Not ever!

**TBC…**

**(Well... I'm ready to hear how mean and cruel you think I am! :( )**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

AN : Hey, guys… I'm done editing the next chapter, but I fear you'll be a little bit disappointed since it's not the direct continuation of the last one… no worries though, I'll be posting the next one tomorrow! Just need to edit it first, but in the meantime, we're jumping back into Edward and Bella's past… to their first 'meeting' in fact, or more like the first time they talked… there's a reason for that, since they are elements here that were in the first chapters, or will be in the next, so don't think I've gone crazy lol I know what I'm doing… and though there is drama in here as well, at least you already know how it ends, so you can't even say I'm mean lol

**Faniac:** yeah, as cruel as it can be, Edward really needed a good wake up call, and what's better than fearing for the life of the one you love… if that doesn't wake him up, nothing could!

Edward won't learn about the miscarriage before a few chapters, but yeah, I'm pretty sure you're gonna want to take him in your arms once he does, at least I hope you will lol and Mystery Man is coming, just two or three chapters to wait! Thanks again, for always reviewing!

**Dizzykaz:** oh, you know what? I hadn't even thought of that lol No, Kate has nothing to do with the accident! Not that she hasn't wished for that to happen, many, many times before lol! But she's done enough, trust me! Thanks for the review!

**Flora73:** don't worry, except maybe Kate, I've never even thought about killing one of my characters… okay, that's not completely true, since Bella miscarried, but in any case, don't worry… Bella's NOT going to die, that I can guarantee! Thanks once more for the review!

**..iluvtwilight2:** You don't like Edward much right now, do you? Lol And I get it, trust me, but in his defense, I'm just going to say that as stupid as he clearly is for not talking to his wife, he has no idea, at least for now, of how deceptive Kate can be, or how mistaken he can be about her… trust me that once he learns the truth, and he will, he won't want to cry on her shoulder and he will surely regret having ever trusted her! Thank you to for the review… hope you'll end up liking Edward soon nonetheless lol ;)

**Tigereyez07**: Sorry for being so cruel lol and I hate Kate, too, but don't worry, Edward was NEVER into Kate (god forbid!) she was just a friend when he needed one, as stupid as that can sound! And once again, keep in mind that as far as HE knows, she's never done anything wrong!

**Longwhitenights**: Yeah, Edward should have really changed before this, but well, at least now we're sure he realizes what he could lose! As for the fact that he didn't really talked to Kate, like I said, the only thing he wanted at that moment was for Kate to get the hell out of his bed! I wouldn't have talked to her either lol besides, he can't talk to Bella and he loves her, so he will bother even less with a woman he doesn't care about! I guess he's kind of a coward when he comes to confront difficult situations :? Thank you as well for always reviewing! ;)

**LovelyLovelyLovely:** The answer to your question is in chapter 8, I'm explaining everything in there, don't worry! ;) As for Kate, no, she doesn't have anything to do with the accident! But you'll know what she thinks of that, (more or less) in chapter 10! Thanks for the review, and thank you so much for the compliment, English is actually not my first language so even if I can picture so perfectly each scene in my mind, I'm always afraid it won't be written right or I won't find the words to really express what I want the characters to feel or what I want to show! So yeah, I'm glad you can at least feel some of the emotion I'm trying to transmit!

**Jctypes**: once more, perfect analysis of the situation! Are you reading my mind or something? Lol The only thing I want to add is that Edward is kind of naïve that way, he doesn't see himself like most of people see him, so his relationship with Kate, at least in his mind, was and has always been perfectly innocent!

The fact that he's actually 'good friends' with his secretary can be discussed of course, but as far as I can tell, he never saw anything wrong with that because he never, until this week at least, suspected that Kate could see things differently! I just want to make it clear that whatever Kate saw or didn't see in his actions, HE never meant to lead her on and he certainly never felt anything for her other that friendship! But yeah, Kate is clearly delusional, and you will see that even when faced with the truth, she will still try to see things her way!

Oh, and I agree completely with you, it's sad that Edward needed that to open his eyes, but I'd like to think he was getting there anyway… too bad he often needs something drastic to happen to make him act :( you'll see what I mean in a moment! Thanks as well for the amazing review! Keep them coming ;)

**Gabs9**: Oh, you might hate me then, because I'm not making anything better here yet :( but keep the faith, I won't leave you waiting for too long! Thanks for the feedback!

Okay , that's it… here is the next chapter… like I said… this happened a long, long time ago… just a funny fact though, when I first wrote this fic a few years back, I choose a guy and posted his pic so people could picture 'Adam', Edward's friend in this part, better in their mind… and that guy was actually a young Peter Facinelli… guess that won't work here lol so picture whoever you want, just a brown-haired guy with amazing green eyes!... and a body to die for of course… but I digress lol… Enjoy! Hope you'll like Edward and Bella's more innocent days!

Oh, yeah, and picture an older than he is today Robert Pattinson lol … sorry, couldn't help myself!

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

_He kept watching her as she seemed to float among the customers and a small smile grazed his lips as he took in her appearance. No matter how cheesy that uniform could look on anyone else, it didn't take anything to _her_ beauty. Even in that thing, she really had to be the most beautiful and graceful girl on this Earth. Or at least she was in his eyes. That was probably why he could spend hours here, and actually did it, just looking at her, without caring about anything in the world. When she was near, she was all he could see, all that mattered to him anyway. _

_For as long as he remembered he had always liked Bella Swan, but with the years what had started as a simple crush like many boys could have them, had gradually become something more. He literally craved her presence now. He needed to see her to get him through the day, and he nearly went crazy whenever he couldn't. If he hadn't already been aware of that fact before, he had surely realized it this summer when she had left the whole two months to visit her aunt in Florida._

_At some point, he had truly believed that he would just die of withdrawal if she didn't come back soon and by the end of the last month, he was downright counting the days to her return and marking them on his calendar. He was also sure that if he had had to go through just one more week of this torture, his parents would have found his lifeless body in his room and there wouldn't have been anything anyone could have done for him._

_Could sound like he was exaggerating but believe it, he had been _that_ far gone then. _

_Fortunately, even if in the last couple of days he had already started conjuring up all kind of crazy scenarios where she wouldn't reappear and he would have to cross half the States to finally profess his undying love to her, in hopes that it would be enough for her to follow him back home, she had come back and now Edward couldn't spend enough time in her mother's restaurant to make up for all the time he had been forced to spend away from her. And who cared if for that he might have to sit here for the next two months in a row? He would gladly do just that, if it made him feel as contented as he was feeling right now._

_Oh, he well knew what people would think if they could see what was going through his head most of the time. They would probably tell him that he was completely nuts and that he had to do something for that, and fast, if he didn't want to lose it completely soon, but he couldn't help himself. Bella Swan had put a spell on him a long time ago, and there was nothing he could do to change what he felt for her. _

_He didn't even want to, actually. He was happy just like he was right now, thinking about her, wanting to see her, loving her even if only from afar having become such a natural part of him that everything he did now where she was concerned was completely normal to him._

_Sure, there actually would be a little something that he could still do and that would make him even happier, but so far he had yet to find it in him to take that next step. It could seem hard to believe, but even if he had been aware of his feelings for her for a long time now, he had never succeeded in getting past his apprehension and actually going to talk to her. _

_It sounded even crazier since usually he couldn't really say that he was one to have this kind of problems with women. Though he didn't care one way or another what they could think of him, or how many times they could throw themselves at him, he usually was a smooth talker and knew exactly what to say and what not to, and he honestly had no qualms making them understand what he wanted and what he surely didn't either. But Bella, she was another story altogether._

_Most of the times he felt like a little boy again around her and found himself completely tongue-tied, unable to think, unable to move. He lost it completely whenever she was too close and couldn't even differentiate his right from his left anymore. It wasn't that surprising then if his only attempt at talking to her had ended up in a disaster and that he had tripped on his own feet before he could even open his mouth, just because he was trembling so much, was it? _

_His only luck had actually been that Bella hadn't seen him coming her way and therefore she hadn't witnessed his discomfiture. Or if she did, at least she didn't know why he hadn't been able to stand on his own two feet any longer, otherwise she would have probably laughed her ass off along with all those who had been there to see Edward Cullen biting the dust._

_Nevertheless, he knew it was pretty ridiculous to be so scared, but she was _that_ intimidating to him. And beautiful, and gorgeous, and stunning, and… but that was beside the point here, wasn't it? _

_Anyway, that was almost two years ago and he had yet to give it another go and try to have any kind of _real_ conversation with her, the more he had actually been able to tell her so far, at least without stammering, being '_the usual, please_'. Really smooth, huh? With that she was sure to know how much he liked her, wasn't she? Yeah… riiight! _

_But he hadn't given up on hope yet for all that, because he knew that one day, he would tell her. Yeah, one day she would know. He just didn't know when. Yet. It could be tomorrow… like it could be in a few years, of course, considering how long it was taking him to garner the courage to do so. But she would know, she would know, she would know. He swore it. And no, he was not hopeless. Absolutely not._

_"Oh, for heaven's sake… just talk to her already… ask her out… whatever… you're driving me nuts with your obsession, I'm telling you!" the voice of Adam Baker, one of his football buddies and good friends, pulled him out of his thoughts and Edward turned to him only to see he was looking back at him with an expression that clearly could only say, 'you're simply pathetic'._

_Okay, so maybe the goofy smiles he was sure he was sporting every time she passed by him and he could smell her sweet strawberry perfume were just a bit too much after all, as were the little sighs he let escape every time he saw those beautiful smiles of hers and regretted they weren't directed to him, but what could he say? He was simply addicted to her and couldn't bring himself to feel ashamed for that._

_"What? What are you talking about?" Edward feigned ignorance nevertheless, even when he was sure that he wasn't fooling anyone anyway, and most definitely not Adam._

_His friend had been there with him too many times when he had come and lost himself in thoughts of Bella, while daydreaming about what could happen if he only worked up the courage to talk to her, or just only showed her that he was more than interested in her, to not see through his lies, but he wasn't ready to admit out loud that his thoughts could be so easily read for all that._

_"Swan!" Adam just enunciated, since there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that Edward didn't need more to understand. _

_They both knew what this was all about and what he was referring to. Or rather who. She was the main reason why Edward spent so much time in this restaurant, and contrary to what he seemed to think, the whole town probably knew it, too. After all there were only so many 'Moonlight Burgers' and Cherry Cokes a guy could eat or drink before people started questioning his sanity, or his intentions._

_"What… what about her?" Edward continued to play dumb, but couldn't help but throw another quick look at Bella, who was now serving a table a few feet away from his._

_Fortunately, or unfortunately, she didn't seem to notice they were talking about her, or even that he was still there. But why should he be surprised? To her, he was just one more customer among so many others and she had no reason to pay any particular attention to him, unless he called her to order something else of course, but at this point he didn't think that he could yet ask for anything else without looking really suspicious. Moreover when she wasn't even supposed to be his waitress today._

_"What about her?" Adam mocked in his best whining voice and rolled his eyes before continuing. "You tell me!… or better yet… tell _her_ you like her and be done with it, coz I swear if I have to come here and see you drool all over her without doing a damn thing just one more time… I'm gonna hurl!" he promised as seriously as he could, knowing that it wouldn't take much more of this for him to actually do it. _

_He usually considered himself a very patient man and so far he had indulged Edward every time he had asked him to come with him, and that without ever making any protest, but really this was starting to get out of hands. Almost every freaking free minute Edward had now was spent here, apparently in hopes to catch a glimpse of Isabella Swan when she worked _and_ when she didn't, and Adam just knew that any day now he was going to lose it. _

_Seriously, if he didn't know better, he would think that 'the Eclipse' was giving permanent passes now or renting booths, and Edward had managed to directly get an annual subscription for his. And to say that he had naively thought that it could never get any worse than before the summer. Well, Edward was certainly proving him how wrong he could be._

_"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't '_drool_' over Bella, okay… I…" Edward tried to deny of course, but the protest sounded weak even to his own ears. _

_He knew all too well that if he didn't drool openly, he wasn't really _that_ far from it. It was just a matter of terminology in fact, but he had said he was addicted, hadn't he? _

_However that wasn't what really seemed to catch Adam's interest at that moment._

_"Bella?" he uttered, cocking an amused eyebrow. "See, that's what I'm talking about… since when are you two on the first names basis?… or even on the 'diminutives'… I mean, I didn't even know you two were talking at all!" he remarked, not resisting the opportunity to make a little fun of Edward, even if slapping some sense into him would probably be more efficient at this stage._

_"We're not!" Edward answered, but Adam acted like he hadn't even heard him. _

_Instead he preferred to keep teasing his friend some more. He already knew anyway that they didn't talk, though _why_ they didn't was beyond him yet. _

_"So… how does _she_ call you then? Eddie? Eddie-Boy?… Or could it maybe be just Drooling-Boy?" he ribbed, but was certainly not expecting Edward's reaction to that. _

_"She doesn't call me at all… she doesn't even know I exist!" Edward admitted dejectedly, barely refraining the urge he had to groan, or maybe even cry as he said the words._

_Nope, Bella Swan didn't know he existed. At least not like he wanted her to. Of course she had to know who he was, after all they shared a few classes and saw each other at school almost every day or when he came to 'the Eclipse', but again, that was the extent of their relationship. _

_He didn't think she had ever pronounced his name, or let it roll over her tongue just to feel how it sounded, like he had done with hers on many occasions. She had certainly never moaned it in her dreams like he had himself, so many times, so many nights either. _

_No, the more she could have said it would probably be to comment to her friends on the fact that 'Edward Cullen, the Freak' was constantly looking at her whenever he was in the same room she was. Well, if she noticed of course._

_"Oh, please… someone shoot me now!" Adam all but growled and pointed his index finger and thumb to his temple in a non equivocal gesture, just before he smacked Edward's head for good measure, eliciting a small whimper of pain from the other man. "And she'll never know you exist, you moron, if you don't go and talk to her… even if honestly I think she already knows more about you than _you_ think!" he added, making Edward wonder what he could mean with those last few words. _

_"What is that supposed to mean?" he questioned, thinking that maybe Adam knew something he didn't. _

_Maybe he had heard Bella or some of her friends saying something about him. Not that it could really happen, but you never knew, even if at this point, considering the situation and his near stalker's attitude, he didn't think it could be anything good anyway and therefore wasn't really sure he wanted to know after all._

_"Well, you're not the only one who likes staring obviously!" Adam provided cryptically and couldn't help but chuckle at Edward's confused expression._

_"Huh?" was the only thing that came out of Edward's mouth, because though he prided himself on being a quick thinker, _usually_, right at that moment his brain didn't seem to be able to understand what his friend was insinuating. Clearly he couldn't be saying what he thought he was saying, right? _

_"Swan … she looks, too… when she thinks no one does!… Well, at least when she thinks _you_ don't." Adam revealed, wondering afterwards how it was possible for Edward to have never noticed. _

_It seemed inconceivable to him, since he couldn't really say that she was being very discreet most of the times when doing so, but after all Edward wasn't either to say the least, and yet she didn't seem to catch him when he did as well for all that._

_Nevertheless, he wouldn't even be surprised if the feelings he was sure Edward had for the girl were completely returned and they were only wasting some precious time by not talking to each other. They were obviously both so totally clueless, and if he still had any doubts, Edward just confirmed it._

_"She does?" Edward asked, clearly surprised, but unable to conceal the hopeful edge his voice held nonetheless._

_Well, if he had still somehow hoped that he hadn't looked _too_ pathetic just a while ago, he surely did now. But hey, cut the guy some slack, would you, it wasn't every day that you were told that the girl you had been pining over for so long you couldn't even clearly remember when it had all started could be looking at you, too, and therefore maybe be interested as well. _

_"Oh, boy… it's even worse than what I thought!… I'm telling you, Edward … do something, or I'll have to!… There's only so much a man can take… so either you go and talk to her… or I'll just have a few words with her myself!" Adam threatened and got up, and though he only intended to go and pay and finally leave the place, he couldn't help but smile when he saw Edward clearly panicking, obviously thinking that he was going to go and talk with his precious Bella, like right now. _

_Well, at least he was getting a reaction out of the man. It was about damned time. Maybe there was still hope and maybe all this craziness would end soon then. Boy, had he known that was all it would take, he would have done this a long time ago and spared himself the torture of having to come and sit here, day in and day out. Mind you, he liked the place and the food was pretty good, but seriously the walls seemed to be closing in on him the more time he spent here._

_"You can't do that!" Edward jumped to his feet and hissed in alarm, already gripping Adam's arm to stop him from going to Bella and spilling the beans to her, but when he saw him smile mischievously and a few of the other patrons who were sitting not very far from them looking their way because of his outburst, he immediately dropped his hand. The last thing he needed was to draw attention on them, or on what they were talking about._

_"It's your choice, buddy… but one way or another, this has to stop!" Adam stated, convinced now more than ever that the only thing Edward needed was a little push in the right direction. The harder was to take the first step after all, and he was pretty much sure that once Edward would be in front of Bella, he would know exactly what to do. Or so he hoped._

_"F-Fine… _I_ will go!" Edward finally decided after a brief moment of hesitation. _

_Not that he really thought that he was ready in any way to do this, but it was always better than having Adam go and talk to her for him like he was still a twelve years old who needed to send his friends to put out feelers when he liked a girl. Besides, what was the worst that could happen if he went and talked to her himself after all?_

_Well, she could always laugh right in his face for one, but he could survive the humiliation, right? At least he hoped he could. It wasn't _really_ possible to die of humiliation, was it? Now dying of a broken heart, that was another story. _

_Oh, man, how the heck had he gotten himself in this situation? One minute he was going through his usual daydreaming, and now he was going to speak to Bella? How was he supposed to do this, huh? He couldn't. It was too soon. It was, right? _

_Okay, maybe not, if you considered that he could have done this at least eight years ago, but still. He was so not prepared to face her. So not fucking prepared. But he had no choice. He had no choice now, that was what he had to tell himself. Adam was right anyway, this had to stop. He just hadn't thought it would have to stop _precisely today_. _

_"Great… I'll be waiting for you in the car then!… take your time!" Adam informed him and made his way to the front of the restaurant to pay for their meals since it was his turn. As he walked though, he couldn't help but shake his head and grin, knowing that Edward was probably all but peeing his pants right that second, just at the thought that any minute now he would have to finally overcome his silly fear and talk to Isabella Swan._

_"Y-Yeah!" Edward mumbled back distractedly, already concentrating on his target and not having even noticed that his friend had already moved._

_As he looked towards the back, he saw that Bella was now by the coffee machine talking with Alice Brandon and he couldn't help but wonder how well it could go if he had to do this with her standing near. Honestly, having any kind of first conversation with Bella in front of a girl who had been nicknamed 'Hurricane Alice' all through her school years really didn't bode well for him, but he had said he would go, so now was not the moment to backpedal and chicken out._

_He was a man. A big man. A strong man. He was… oh, jeez, he was so not going._

_No, no, c'mon, Cullen, you can do this, just walk straight ahead, he tried to motivate himself as best as he could, considering the situation, but as he took the first steps in Bella's direction, he couldn't help wiping his suddenly sweaty hands on his jeans and taking huge gulps of air, sure that once he would be just in front of Bella, he would probably forget how to breathe. _

_She always had this kind of effect on him, but right now would certainly not be the moment to hyperventilate and black out. He already knew the chances he would make a fool out of himself were too great just like it was, he definitely didn't need to add more to his misery._

* * *

_"You are sooo bad, girl." Alice scolded her friend the second she joined her, having not missed how one more time, Bella had managed to fool two gullible tourists with that fake picture of a giant wolf. _

_Ever since some locals had made the news with some crazy stories about werewolves, supposedly descending from a Quileute's tribe that lived nearby, roaming the woods around Forks, the town had gotten invaded by people visiting just so they would have a chance to see if there was any veracity to the story and Bella, mischievous as she could be at times, couldn't help but take advantage of those people's naivety, even if thankfully she never let the joke go for too long. But after all, like she said, it wasn't her fault if people were ready to believe anything and it made for a good laugh when they eventually realized that they had been made!_

_"Oh, and Edward Cullen was staring at you again." Alice added a second later, lowering her voice some more this time, as she remembered she had caught the guy all but ogling Bella once more. _

_Not that it was anything unusual, he pretty much did only that every time he came and sat in the restaurant, but this time she hoped that Bella would be able to see it, too, since so far he had always managed to advert his eyes before she could catch him in the act and therefore the other girl absolutely refused to believe her._

_"No way… Alice, that is so in your imagination." Bella denied for the umpteenth time, yet simultaneously she couldn't stop from turning around and looking in his direction nonetheless._

_God, Edward Cullen just looking at her? that would be like her biggest fantasy coming true, but she just knew it was so not a possibility._

_What would a guy like him, who could have any girl he wanted, see in a mousy girl like her? He probably didn't even know she existed, and even less what her name could be, so yes, the only explanation would be that Alice was imagining things once more, no matter how much Bella wished it could be real._

_Truth be told she couldn't even say how many times she had imagined herself that it could happen, that one day she would catch him looking her way and he would smile at her, and then he would come and talk to her, maybe even ask her out, but she had known Edward Cullen since she was a little girl, and nothing like that had ever happened. And probably never would. _

_So, sure, he spent an incredible amount of time here, sometimes alone and sometimes with his friends and they always seemed to have to drag him out of the place to make him leave, but if he liked her like she liked him, and had for such a long time, wouldn't he have tried to show it already?_

_Of course she knew she was one to talk, after all she had noticed him a long time ago and if she wanted to be honest she could even say that she had always had a major crush on him, but she had never done a thing herself either, even if that was for an entirely different reason. She was just too damn shy and insecure to talk to him and risk being rejected like so many before her had been._

_Now Edward, as far as she knew, had never had any problem talking to anyone apparently. Girls were always around him and even if she didn't remember having ever seen him date any of them, or even if it didn't look like he really cared about all the feminine attention he was receiving, he seemed pretty at ease with women in general nonetheless. _

_It seemed hard to believe then that if he did like her, he wouldn't have acted on it already. No, of course he would have, yet the more she had heard him address her so far was to order his meals or to ask for a refill of his cherry cokes, and boy if that guy loved that stuff._

_Then, many believed there was another explanation for his attitude, well, actually it was more like a rumor, but she knew all too well where it was coming from and who had started it, and therefore Bella simply refused to believe it. Edward Cullen couldn't be gay. No way, that would be like the stupidest thing ever, and such a waste should she add._

_No, she herself was convinced that there had to be another reason for his lack of interest for the opposite sex. Maybe no one had simply ever really caught his eye, or maybe he was just waiting for the right girl to cross his path and that was why he turned down each and every girl who asked him out. He seemed to be more like that type of guys. Yet as much as she liked to picture him that way, if that was the case she also knew that she could just start and forget about that crazy dream she often had that one day she could have more with him, because after all if _she_ was to be the right girl for him, they would probably both know it by now, wouldn't they? _

_As she caught sight of him now, she couldn't help but smile, though, and wonder what he and his friend could be discussing about since just at that precise moment she saw the other guy smacking the side of his head and Edward obviously protesting, before he rubbed the spot where Adam had hit him. And of course, no matter how much she tried not to, or how pathetic she thought it was of her, she couldn't stop herself from sighing at the scene._

_God, he was so darn cute, even when a pained expression marred his perfect features. It made her want to go and grab him and kiss him senseless, regardless of how crazy it would make her look._

_Yeah, she knew, she really had it bad._

_"Edward Cullen? This? No, un-uh… it's not…" Bella turned back to Alice and pointing to her own face, she continued self-depreciatively._

_The two of them together would look like a revisited version of 'The Beauty and the Beast', only this time _she_ would be the Beast. And she already knew she wouldn't be changed into a beautiful princess by the end of the tale. No, Edward Cullen was so out of her league, even if Alice kept insisting that she was just being ridiculous and that the guy had to be crazy about her. _

_"And with those cheeks! What a cutie you are!" Alice cut her off and teased as she cupped her face playfully, much to Bella's embarrassment._

_"Alice!" Bella cried and quickly pushed away her friend's hands, hoping that no one had seen her doing just that, least of all Edward._

_God, how she hated it when Alice did things like that. That girl was definitely spending too much time with her grandmother._

_"And… and even if it weren't… it isn't like it would mean anything…" she then went on, trying to rationalize what Alice said she had seen, or rather what she _thought_ she had seen, but her friend didn't let her go any further. _

_"Why not?… I mean, I swear the guy practically lives here, and you know I love your mom, but c'mon, the food can't be _that_ good!" Alice insisted herself, knowing that there had to be something else that made Edward coming back almost every day, whether it was just to have a drink or more. And for heaven's sake, it didn't take a genius to figure that one out. _

_However, even if she couldn't say she understood her, she knew why her friend kept rejecting her theory. If you didn't take into account the fact that Bella was obviously unable to see and appreciate her own beauty and therefore kept entertaining that crazy idea that someone like Edward would never look at her twice, Alice suspected that deep down she wanted to believe her, but was just too afraid to get her hopes up and risk being disappointed in the end. Yet she was pretty sure herself that the day those two would finally grow some balls so to say and decided to talk, nothing would be able to come between them. She just had a feel for this kind of things, and she just knew that Bella Swan and Edward Cullen could have true love, if only they weren't so damn scared of their own feelings._

_"Alice … we're talking about a guy who has turned down almost every girl in Forks High and I mean girls like Jane Volturi… or… or Tanya Delaney, no less… so I don't think…" Bella began with the good and logical argumentation she almost always gave Alice when she started to be delirious again, but she was stopped mid-explanation by a near ear-splitting scream._

_"Oh, my god!" Alice shrieked all of a sudden, covering her mouth afterwards when she realized she had probably drawn the attention of the entire room on them._

_"What?" Bella asked and was ready to turn around and see what could put Alice in such a state -unless it was Robert Pattinson entering the café, she didn't know what could be so extraordinary, but like that could happen, huh? Yeah, right, in her dreams maybe!- yet before she could even take a peek, Alice was all but grabbing her head and forcing her to look at her as she hissed into her face._

_"He's coming this way… Edward Cullen is coming this way!" she told her excitedly while bouncing up and down, like he was actually coming for her or that something big was going to happen to _her_ and not to Bella. _

_So what? Okay, maybe she was exaggerating here, but hey, she was entitled to lose it since her prayers seemed to have been heard and Edward Freaking Cullen was _really_ coming Bella's way. _

_This was it. Oh, jeez, this was really it. She knew it! She just knew one day or another he would finally do something, she just never thought it would be so soon after actually thinking it. God, she was so exited right now that she could beat the Energizer Bunny in a run and that on one foot if she wanted, and at the same time so happy for her friend that she thought she would burst._

_But damn, why did this kind of things never happen to her, huh?_

_Well, who would have thought, huh? Bella Swan had just found something that could be even better than Robert Pattinson, new hottie in Hollywood and who she was sure would be one of the most talented and demanded actors of his generation in a few years, visiting 'the Eclipse'. Yep, guys, that was apparently possible. At least for her._

_"This way? Like in this general way? Or like in m-my way?" Bella stammered and then wondered herself how she was still able to speak after hearing that._

_Honestly, how she did it she had no freaking idea, yet somehow she managed, even if she was sure that the whole restaurant could now hear her heart beating like crazy and her knees playing the Macarena with the way her legs were currently trembling._

_"Like in '_oh, look what a fast walker he is, he's already here_'! See you guys!" Alice blurted out, waved her hand at Edward who was now standing just behind Bella, and the next second she had cleared the place probably faster than she had ever before in her life. _

_Ever so slowly Bella turned around, knowing that she would probably keel over if she did that too fast, and as she came face to face with the object of her affection, she first sucked in an audible breath and then blushed when she realized that he had probably noticed her reaction. But could anyone really blame her, huh?_

_God, was it possible for any human being to be more beautiful than this man? She seriously doubted it as she basked in his close proximity and tried to smile back as he smiled down at her. Or at least that seemed to be a smile. Maybe it was just a tic or something, because he clearly seemed to be just as nervous as she felt._

_During a few seconds none of them said a word, but eventually Edward realized that he couldn't very well stand there just looking at her indefinitely -not that he minded himself but _she_ probably wouldn't appreciate that much- and so, after clearing his throat, he managed to whisper a soft "Hey!". _

_"Hi!" Bella whispered back, almost immediately losing herself in the depths of his amazing emerald green eyes._

_They looked magnificent from afar, but up close, god, there could be no comparison. That guy had eyes to die for, and she could have certainly spent the next few hours just looking at them without even noticing she was doing it, if she hadn't heard his husky voice again. _

_She didn't know what was worse though, feeling like she was being sucked into his eyes, or having to try and control those tremors that coursed through her entire body when he opened his mouth, because surely the way he said her name was enough to have her melt at his feet._

_Okay, okay, so she gave and Alice would probably tell her 'I told you so', but until now, how was she expected to truly believe that Edward Cullen _did_ know her name, huh? _

_"So… Bella, uh…" Edward scratched his neck uncomfortably and would have probably at least _tried_ to say something intelligent, if the way she was staring at him hadn't made him feel so self-conscious. _

_Jeez, what was wrong with her? Didn't she realize what she was doing to him? It was bad enough that his throat had suddenly turned dry and that his body was trembling so much that it probably looked like any second now he was going to have an epilepsy fit, but how was he supposed to do anything right here if he couldn't even concentrate, or even less remember how to speak?_

_"So…" Bella repeated and as her eyes were naturally drawn to his lips, so full and probably just as soft, she unconsciously licked her own very dry ones, nearly killing Edward on the spot when he caught the gesture._

_Oh, for God's sake, he so couldn't do this now._

_"I… well… uh… bye!" Edward stammered, unable to stay a minute longer just in front of her, and before he could stop himself he was all but rushing to the safety of the bathroom, leaving a very dumbfounded Bella behind him._

_"B-Bye?" she whispered to his departing form, but try as she might she couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed._

_Okay, what the hell had just happened here?_

_This was really a weird encounter to say the least, she thought frowning, but the moment was made even more awkward to her when not a second after Edward had left her there, staring at his back with her mouth hanging open, she heard a coughed but quite clear 'Wussie' drifting from the front of the restaurant where Adam was, ready to exit the room, the comment not long after followed by a few banging sounds coming from the bathroom Edward had just entered._

_Had she said or rather done something wrong, she wondered as her eyes trained on the now closed door? Something that could have made him run away like that. She really didn't know what to think, because if it had seemed like Edward really wanted to talk to her, or maybe ask her something at first, he surely looked like he couldn't bolt out of there fast enough once he had been in front of her. In fact she had probably never seen him looking so ill-at-ease with anyone._

_Despite herself and how many times she had refused to do so before that, she thought back to all the times Alice had told her that he was always staring at her and she couldn't help but wonder now if he hadn't been disappointed himself, but for an entirely different reason, once he had seen her really up close. Maybe he had indeed been interested at some point and finally worked up the courage to come and talk to her, only to realize that she wasn't at all what he had thought she would be._

_Damn, she so knew she should have taken the time to at least apply some make-up before coming to work, maybe he wouldn't have been so scared by her appearance._

_Yeah, sure, like that would have been enough or changed anything anyway, she almost snorted out loud and finally rolled her eyes before deciding to forget Edward Cullen had ever talked to her, if that qualified as talking of course, or that that moment had ever happened. If she didn't think about it, she wouldn't torture herself with a million questions, questions she so knew she wouldn't find the answers to anyway. _

_Besides, that way she wouldn't have to dwell too much on the fact that she had possibly just ruined any chances she could have had with the man of her dreams either, even if she had no idea how._

_At the same time, inside the bathroom, Edward was probably having the biggest pity party one could have._

_God, he was such a moronic stupid idiot, he berated himself as he banged his head a couple of times against the door._

_No, he was not just only an idiot, Adam was right, he was such a wuss, too, he couldn't help telling himself, having heard his friend even from across the room. The whole restaurant had probably heard him actually and they were surely thinking the exact same thing. And how could they not? For heaven's sake, she was just a girl and here he was, not even able to utter two words in front of her without stuttering._

_But yet, even as the thought entered his mind, he already knew different. She wasn't just _any_ girl. She was Bella Swan and with each passing day he realized a little more just how crazily in love he was with her and that made all the difference in the world. _

_What he was supposed to do now, though, he didn't know. It wasn't like he really could get out of there, cross the room and act like nothing had happened, could he? He would have to come face to face with her anyway, but he wasn't really sure he would be able to look at her or stand what he was sure he would see in her eyes._

_She was certainly wondering what the hell could be wrong with him. Well, he wondered as well and he had no good answer to give her beside the obvious, but he didn't think that now was the right time to let her know just how much she already meant to him when they had barely exchanged more than a hello in all their lives._

_What was sure however was that he had probably left her with a very bad impression and even if the chances were that he would ruin things between them more than he already had if that was possible, he knew he had to at least try to do some damage control here and make up for this. Besides, Adam would most likely never let him live down to this if he didn't._

_Man, he was sure he was out and in the car already, but he could almost hear him laughing his ass off nonetheless. But then at least now he had the answer to his own question. Nope, you couldn't die of humiliation… but you could surely feel like it._

* * *

_"Idiot!" Alice grumbled after a customer when after having politely asked him if he wanted her to refill his cup, he all but told her to get lost. _

_God, how she hated when they acted like they could walk all over her, or treat her like crap just because she was a waitress and she was supposed to be at their beck and call. But one day she would show them all that she was so much more than that and that she had certainly more talent in one of her pinky fingers than any one of them could ever hope for. Yeah, one day she would get the hell out of Forks, Washington, and show the world what an amazing singer Alice Brandon could be, she swore inwardly._

_Deciding that the best for now would be to forget about that pig, she turned around and saw Bella moving her way, and by the look on her face and the fact that Edward had maybe stayed near her nothing more than two minutes flat, she figured out that it hadn't gone like Bella expected it to, or even like she had thought it would herself._

_Well, if it wasn't for this time, it could only go better the next one._

_"Didn't go well, huh?" she asked hesitantly when Bella passed by her, but the 'what do you think?' glare her friend gave her almost immediately answered her question and she knew she should better not insist for now._

_"You could say that, yeah." was the only thing Bella said before she placed a cup of hot tea in front of a customer and made her way to the back once more._

_Not that she really wanted to see Edward exiting the bathroom, no, that was not it, uh-huh. It was just that she couldn't very well just stay there, standing in the middle of the restaurant, waiting for someone to ask for something else, could she?_

_Oh-kay, that was a big fat lie. There, she admitted it._

_Despite all her earlier protests and promises, she _wanted_ to see what would happen and if he would try to talk to her again. After all, if he had first come to her, it had to be for some reason, right, and Edward didn't seem to be the kind of guys that gave up at the first occasion, so she couldn't stop herself from hoping that if she found herself alone again when he got out, maybe he would try to approach her at least one more time. _

_Unfortunately, regardless of how well she thought she had planned this, she never got a chance to find out what Edward would have done or not, since the events took an unexpected turn and all hell broke loose in the restaurant._

_One minute she was standing by the coffee machine once more, and the next she saw Alice turning to her and yelling her name in panic, and before she could even understand what was taking place, her eyes set on two bulky men arguing by the front of the restaurant and on the gun one of them was involuntarily pointing at her. Yet as the cold metallic object threatened her very life, she couldn't do much more than stare at it in silent fear._

_Her brain of course screamed at her to move off the way and seek refuge on the floor, like almost all the customers were already doing, but her body seemed to be frozen on that spot and refused to obey the command, making of her a perfect living target._

_The next moment however, her view was blocked by a blue wall, erected from out of nowhere and miraculously protecting her from what was sure to happen, and only when her eyes drifted up and briefly locked with a set of determined emerald eyes, did she understand that the wall in question was none other than Edward Cullen. _

_She didn't have time to react though, or even less to question what he was doing there, before she found herself engulfed in his arms and they both went crashing against the counter behind her, Edward somehow colliding first and cushioning the shock of the impact for her._

_Cups and saucers flew to the floor and shattered at their feet a few mere seconds after the deafening sound of the gun going off resonated into the restaurant, but Bella didn't hear any of it. She clung to Edward for dear life, body trembling, blood pounding in her ears and head buried into his chest, and he held her just as tightly. Actually, at that instant, he didn't feel like letting go of her. Ever._

_He had been on his way to talk to her again, maybe just to apologize and plead his case, hoping that if he told her that he was suffering from a bad form of foot in mouth disease that stroke unexpectedly and changed him into a stuttering retard from time to time, it would be enough to make her take pity on him and maybe accept to talk with him nonetheless, when he had seen her there, her back to him and frozen in place and he had instantly wondered what was happening to her and why everyone else was now crouching on the floor. Yet one look to the front of the room had been enough for him to understand and prompt him into action._

_He hadn't even thought about it twice in fact. He hadn't stopped to wonder if what he was doing was the right thing to do or not, he had just gone on instinct, and his instincts were telling him only one thing, he had to get her out of there before she could get shot. Or worse. And then, just as fast as everything had happened, it was already over._

_"Are you okay?" Edward immediately asked the second he managed to make her loosen her grip on him. _

_Which was definitely not an easy task if he said so himself, and at any other moment, he wouldn't have minded her clinginess in the least, since having Bella Swan in his arms had to be the most blissful feeling ever, no matter the circumstance, but the fact that she was slowly but surely cutting his air supply didn't leave him with much choice unfortunately. _

_He didn't think she realized what she was doing though, if the lost and completely shocked expression she wore at that instant was any indication, but it only made him want to comfort her even more._

_"Bella… Isabella? Are you okay?" he repeated softly and cupped her face in his hands, so she would focus on him and not on what was happening all around them._

_Just like he was sure she did, he could clearly hear people still screaming and some sobbing almost hysterically due to the shock of what had happened in the usually quiet restaurant, but as far as he was concerned, they weren't even there. _

_All that mattered to him was Bella and making sure she was alright. She _seemed_ okay, but he couldn't deny that he was getting worried by the second since she had yet to answer him. It was little wonder then if he barely resisted the urge he felt to just run his hands all over her to make sure she hadn't been hurt in any way, although how he managed that was honestly beyond him. _

_"Ye-Yeah… yes, I-I am!…" she replied at last, much to Edward's relief. However, the very next second she seemed to really understand what had almost happened to her and she couldn't stop the panic that washed over her. "Oh… oh, god!… oh, my god…"_

_She would have been shot. She would have been shot, right there, right in her mother's restaurant if it hadn't been for Edward. And she could have died._

_"Hey, it's okay! You're alright now!… You're alright…" Edward soothed her gently, but even he couldn't stop his voice from trembling when it registered in his brain that she could have been really hurt._

_God, he really didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't been able to push her out of the way just in time, but he did know that just the thought that he could have lost her was enough to make him feel like dying himself._

_To Bella however, his voice sounded a little strange, strained, like just talking was taking an incredible effort on his part, but she wrongly assumed that it was just because he had been just as shaken up as she had been herself. _

_Besides, in all honesty at that moment she was more concentrating on the feel of his hands at the nape of her neck now than on anything else. It seemed completely surreal to her that Edward Cullen had not only saved her life but could be touching her like he was, even if his touch was nothing if not innocent, and she would have probably stayed there and relish in it for as long as he would have allowed her to, if she hadn't realized that she hadn't even made sure he was alright himself._

_"Are you?… I mean, a-are you okay?" she finally asked, but just as Edward had before, she instantly grew concerned when he didn't answer her right away. "Edward?"_

_"F-Fine… I-I'm fine!" he blinked at her a couple of times and stammered before he embraced her once more, only maybe more awkwardly this time, making Bella first think that he just wanted to give her a hug or something like that, but when she felt his form all but slump over her, she instinctively sensed there was more._

_"Edward?" almost afraid to break the contact, she whispered his name in question._

_Clearly it wasn't every day that she could find herself wrapped in the safety of Edward Cullen's arms and if that were possible and he felt like it himself, she would gladly spend the rest of the day just there, but though she had really been scared and therefore she really appreciated not only his attention and his obvious concern, but the way he had protected her without apparently the slightest hesitation as well, he was just getting a little too heavy on her._

_She waited a few seconds for any kind of reaction, but when he still didn't move or release his hold on her and started to tremble in her arms instead, she immediately tried to pull away from him, thinking that something had to be really wrong with him. It wouldn't be surprising to her to see him breaking down himself now, after all she wasn't very far from it herself and due to the situation, it would be completely normal, and definitely human._

_But then, when her arms came from where they had been wrapped around his waist and she involuntarily grazed his left side, she felt something wet coating her fingers and as she brought her hand to her front to see what it could be, she gasped audibly, seeing it now painted in red._

_"Oh, my god! EDWARD! EDWARD!" she cried out the moment she realized what had happened to him, but it was already too late. _

_The next second his knees wobbled and gave out from under him and Bella barely managed to lower him to the floor before he could fall himself._

_"Help please!… s-someone call an ambulance! ALICE… no, no, Edward… don't… don't do this to me! EDWARD!" she yelled to her friend when she saw her standing there not two feet away from them, her mouth opened in a silent scream of horror, and then begged to him, already frantically working at the ties of her apron._

_"I'm fine, I-I'm fine!" he repeated reassuringly, but his voice sounded weaker with each word he said._

_He didn't know who he was trying to convince anyway, Bella or himself, because clearly he wasn't feeling fine. At all._

_At first he didn't understand himself what was happening to him, or how he had landed up on the cold tiled floor with Bella hovering over him, fear written all over her features, but when he felt more than he saw her press something against his side, he finally realized that in putting himself in front of Bella like he had, he had managed to be hit by the bullet that was first destined to her. _

_He remembered then having felt a light burning sensation just above his hip at some point but besides that, nothing seemed abnormal to him except maybe the fact that now he was unable to feel anything on that side. Strangely in fact, his right side and arm, where he had connected with the hard countertop were hurting him more at that moment than the other one. But maybe it was because it was already too late for him to feel the pain._

_So, was this the end? he couldn't help but wonder. Was he going to die here, today, without even having had the opportunity to really talk to her, to really know her and see if they could have had a chance together?_

_No, it couldn't be. He couldn't just leave her now, on the same day he had finally decided -or been forced, that depended on how you wanted to see it- to go and talk to her. Not when it had gone so badly and he hadn't even had a chance to show her that he could be so much more than a spluttering idiot who went to pieces in front of her. There was so much he still wanted to tell her, so much she needed to know, and even more that he wanted to do, it would be so unfair if he couldn't. He was just too young to die._

_And god, what about his parents? What about his sister? He could almost picture them and how devastated they would be when told about how he had died on the floor of that restaurant he liked so much, though they had never really understood why. His mother would probably barely surmount the grief, he knew that, but somehow he couldn't help but hope that they would all find it in them to be proud nonetheless, because after all, in involuntarily sacrificing his life, he had saved someone else's. The life of the only girl he had ever loved actually, even if they didn't know that either and only for that, he could never regret his fate._

_He just wished that he could tell them goodbye and how much he loved them all, but he already knew that he wouldn't have enough time for that. No matter how much he tried to fight it at first, he could feel his strength gradually failing him and he understood that it wouldn't be long now before he wouldn't even be able to stay awake._

_He was actually ready to finally let go and close his eyes when he heard Bella calling his name again and he realized that if he couldn't very well tell her now just how much he loved her already, if that was the last thing he did, he wanted her to at least know what he had always thought, but had never dared telling her either._

_"Hey, y-you're b-beautiful, you know!… 'ways thought so…" he whispered in a last effort and reached out to touch the few strands of hair that had fallen around her perfect face, knowing that this would probably be the first and last time he would have the opportunity to feel if it was as soft as it had always looked. And even more than any other time, he wished she could have let it loose while working for once and not in her usual strange messy bun, it would have been so much easier for him to thread his fingers through its amazing length, but he would take whatever he could at this point._

_However, before he could find out the answer, he felt Bella take his hand in hers and gently kiss his knuckles, but he was unable to react. In fact the contact of her lips with any part of his skin would have certainly made him go out of his mind in any other circumstances, or if he had still been able to think clearly, but as it was he wasn't even sure he hadn't imagined the tender gesture. He had to, because clearly this could only happen in his dreams._

_Bella for her part would have honestly laughed out loud, or maybe just blushed, if she wasn't so scared she was going to lose him any second now, or if she didn't feel too much like crying to even be able to really grasp all the meaning of his words and take him too seriously._

_But leave it to him to be unable to say two words to her in all the years they had known each other and to suddenly decide to put a rest to her insecurities in such a moment. She had wished for so long to hear him say those words, any word in fact, or to just have him think them, but never in her wildest dreams had she thought that she would have to have him all but bleeding to death at her feet to actually know what it felt like to have him tell her such a thing. In her mind, this was not how it was supposed to happen, and so not the right moment either._

_As best as she could with just one hand, she cradled him on her lap, her fingers tenderly brushing his temple, and she tried to soothe whatever fears he could have, just like he had done for her earlier. After all, to now be able to tell her he thought she was beautiful, he surely had to be completely delirious already, or maybe simply sure that he wouldn't get out of this one._

_"Shh… shh… it's okay, don't talk… d-don't move… you're gonna be okay! Just stay with me, Edward… don't leave me, you hear me?" she chocked back a cry and murmured, still trying to be strong, if only for his own sake, but when she noticed that his eyes seemed to have lost all focus, panic assailed her and she was unable to conceal the fear from her now quivering voice._

_"You can't do this to me, baby… hey, Edward, no… no, keep your eyes open, Edward, please!… Keep your eyes open for me… Don't you dare do this to me!" she croaked out, her vision now blurred by the tears that quickly brimmed and saturated her eyes. Yet no matter how much she begged him, she could clearly see that he wouldn't hold much longer and this time she just let go, unable to fight her tears any longer._

_Despite the situation, a little smile appeared on Edward's lips when he heard her call him '_baby_', but then the rest of her words seemed to be drowned away, and soon his eyes fluttered closed and the world turned black around him, the last thought on his mind being that at least if he had to die, there was no better place than dying in Bella Swan's arms, or after having finally experienced what it felt to hear his name on her lips. And god, if there had ever been any sweeter sound than that one. _

_And he would have heard it many times yet if he had been able to do as Bella wished, because she kept repeating it again and again, talking to him like he could still hear her, even when she knew it was no use now._

_As she heard the sound of the chimes announcing the entrance of someone into the restaurant, she managed to advert her gaze from Edward long enough to turn hopeful eyes in that direction, and that was when she saw that her view was blocked by a mass of patrons, gathered there around them and murmuring words she couldn't even comprehend. _

_In fact she hadn't even realized anyone beside her and Edward was still there, because honestly it was beyond her realm of comprehension to understand that it could be otherwise, that there could be so many people in that same room, but that no one had made a move yet or seemed to want to do a damn thing to help her with Edward._

_At that moment she wanted to scream at them to get out of there, that this wasn't some free show and that if the only thing they were able to do was to stand there and watch like idiots, they could just go to hell, but she couldn't even find it in her to do just that. _

_She just wanted for the paramedics to emerge out of the crowd now, and for this nightmare to end. She wanted someone to attend to Edward, and reassure her. Someone to tell her that it looked worse than what it really was and that everything would be alright. Anyone in fact who would help her. Help Edward. And when instead of the uniformed men she expected to see, she noticed and locked eyes with the person who had just entered the café, she knew she would have to do with that._

_Adam had been quietly sitting in the car and listening to the radio while waiting for Edward to be done inside, when just after hearing a strange clapping sound coming from the Eclipse, he had seen two guys exiting the place and running off like their lives depended on it, but he hadn't questioned it more than that at first. Only when he saw and heard a few patrons following behind and yelling for someone to call the police, did he figure out that something had to have happened. However he was certainly not expecting what was waiting for him inside the restaurant._

_The instant he had passed the doors, he had noticed the crowd gathered in the back of the room and he had had to elbow his way there to be able to take a look at what could keep those people so entertained, but the more he had advanced the clearer his idea of what had taken place had become. _

_It hadn't taken him long to figure out what it was all about once he had heard several customers whispering things like '_he just threw himself in front of her', 'that kid saved her life_', or '_if it weren't for him…_', and at the same time he noticed that he couldn't see Edward anywhere. And considering the fact that Bella Swan was nowhere to be seen either, it was really a no-brainer. But that didn't make the scene in front of him any more bearable. _

_"Adam… please…" Bella whimpered out almost desperately when she eventually recognized a familiar face and saw Edward's friend making his way to them. She really needed someone to lend her a hand now or she was sure she was just going to lose it, and she knew that at least Adam wouldn't fail her._

_"Oh, fuck, Edward… I told you to go and talk to her, not go and play Mister Superhero… or-or get yourself killed!" Adam dropped to his knees near Bella and Edward and groaned when he saw that his friend wasn't even conscious anymore. _

_Fuck, this was really not good. Not good at all, he thought, wondering why the hell he hadn't kept his mouth shut and let Edward do whatever he wanted, instead of pressuring him and making him go talk to Bella. If he hadn't, they would have been out of there long before anything could have happened to him. _

_Yeah, but then Bella would have been the one lying on that floor, and that would have surely killed Edward just the same. _

_"Shit!… Shit!… SHIT!"_

_"P-Press on his wound!" Bella ordered him and as soon as he took her place, she concentrated on Edward again and tried to lift his upper body up so that she could cradle him more firmly into her arms._

_She didn't know if she was supposed to move him or not, or to force him to stay awake either, but she was just too afraid he wouldn't ever wake up again if she didn't, to let it be any other way. She couldn't stop the tortured sound that escaped her lips, though, when she cupped and caressed his cheek and saw the bloody handprint she involuntarily left on it._

_God, there was so much blood on her hand. Too much blood. This couldn't be good. And what was the fucking ambulance doing? If it didn't get here soon, it would be too late, and she would never forgive herself if Edward wasn't able to make it. He had to be alright because she just knew she wouldn't survive if it were otherwise._

_"Brandon, move your ass… bring me some towel… or-or some cloth… anything!" Adam barked out to a still shell-shocked and almost paralyzed Alice the instant he took over and he realized that the apron Bella had placed on Edward's injury was already completely drenched in blood._

_"Fuck it, Edward… what have you done? What the fuck have you done?" he then grumbled when Alice came back and gave him everything she had been able to find and he applied pressure on the wound once more, hoping that this would be enough until the ambulance would get there._

_Inwardly though, he couldn't help cursing Edward for his own stupidity and believing that he could be any match to a fucking bullet. It was certainly brave, there was no questioning that, but what good saving Bella Swan's life would do to him if he weren't even there to be thanked afterwards, or to finally see with his own eyes that the girl could love him, too, huh?_

_And boy if she did. If Adam had still had any doubts before, seeing the way she was holding onto Edward now like her own life depended on it, surely dispelled them all. She loved him, and Edward was really an idiot for not having seen it before._

_"Edward, open your eyes… look at me… s-stay with me!… please!" Bella moaned out distraughtly, as she sobbed openly now and rocked his body gently, not caring in the least if she was making a scene or not. "Pleeease!" she kept begging over and over but her prayers went on deaf ears because Edward never opened his eyes._

* * *

_Two o'clock. _

_It was almost two o'clock in the morning and she couldn't sleep. She had barely been able to close her eyes ever since Edward had been rushed into the hospital in fact. Not because she didn't want to, but because every time she tried, she kept reviving the whole scene and seeing Edward bleeding to what she had been sure was his certain death on the Eclipse floor. _

_It seemed safer then to avoid sleep and just keep her eyes on the still figure in front of her. At least that way she could make sure he was really there, alive, breathing and not ready to leave her, even if she knew it was stupid since she had been repeated countless number of times that he was out of danger now and that they had nothing to fear anymore. Still, she couldn't forget just like that just how straining and terrifying everything had been for her ever since the shooting._

_At first, it had seemed like an eternity to her until the ambulance had arrived, but when they had finally been there, Bella had almost wished they hadn't. She wasn't ready to let go of Edward, and it had taken all the patience of one of the paramedics and the comfort and soothing words of Adam to eventually let them do their job._

_The instant he had been wheeled out of the restaurant, though, she had climbed into the vehicle before anyone could protest and had attached herself to his side. There was simply no way she would let Edward go there alone. No, if it depended only on her, she would have certainly followed him into the operating room as well and held his hand all the while, but that had not been a possibility._

_As soon as the ambulance had pulled out, Adam had followed in his own car, and he had been the one to warn the Cullens of what had happened, but by the time they had gotten to the hospital themselves, Bella had already been a nervous and hysterical wreck._

_Whoever made the rules in the hospitals must have never had any friends or close acquaintances admitted there, she was sure of that now. She couldn't explain otherwise how anyone could come up with that '_we can only give news to the family_' bullshit and not realize it was not only completely unfair, but didn't make any sense either. _

_Sure she wasn't blood related to Edward, but damn it she cared just the same, and yet they hadn't wanted to tell her anything concerning his condition. The more she had actually been told had been that he was in good hands, and that the doctors were doing everything in their power to save him. Some consolation that was to her. Not._

_Fortunately, once the Cullens had arrived, Adam had talked to them and after relating to them exactly what had happened into the restaurant, they had perfectly understood her need to be included and know what was happening with Edward._

_At first, Bella had honestly thought nonetheless that they would blame her for everything that was happening to their son, but despite their anguish and their fears they had been really great with her and she had heard none of that._

_Quite the contrary in fact. Esme Cullen herself had actually been the one to comfort her and calm her down when no one else could. She had held her tightly when she couldn't stop crying and blaming herself and she had kept repeating her that everything would be alright, though Bella suspected that the words had been as much for her own benefit as for hers._

_She had also told her that if Edward had been ready to risk his life for her, she had to be really special in his eyes and therefore she was sure he would be glad to know she was okay once he would be alright again himself. Her words had of course warmed her heart, but Bella truly believed nonetheless that that had nothing to do with her. Even without knowing him as much as she would have wanted, she knew he would have done that for anyone else. She didn't doubt it for a second in fact._

_Now Rosalie, Edward's sister, had been another story. She had been hysterical and even her dad's pleas to calm down and stop shouting hadn't been enough to make her stop and spare Adam the tirade she had in store for him. Bella knew she was hurting, but she couldn't not pity poor Adam who didn't know what hit him when he was the object of one of Rosalie 'The Ice Queen' 's all too famous rant._

_Basically, she didn't understand how he could have left Edward alone in that restaurant and even less let her 'misguided' brother as she had called him, do such a stupid thing. Of course Bella didn't think he had paid much attention to all the harsh words that had escaped her lips, words Bella would rather not repeat, since he probably knew it was only Rosalie's way to cope with what was happening to her brother, but still Bella could see that some of the things she had said had hit home nonetheless and that Adam was probably wondering about the same, which instantly made her feel bad because he was certainly no more responsible than anyone else there. Yet she obviously was right concerning Rosalie, since no sooner had she finished giving him the third degree, that she broke down and they both ended crying into each other's arms._

_Bella didn't think she had ever seen the other girl so desperate, or looking so vulnerable, the only image she had had so far of Edward's sister being the one everyone had, and she was sure more than one would be surprised to see Rosalie Cullen, the epitome of perfection, with puffy red eyes, tear-streaked cheeks, and smudged mascara. But in a way, it helped Bella remember that she was only human after all, something she was sure many still wondered about._

_Alice had come, too, as soon as she had managed to get everyone out of the suddenly seething restaurant and close it, and of course Bella had been grateful and glad for her best friend's presence, even despite her strange attitude._

_At first she hadn't understood why she seemed to be so worked up, or why she couldn't stop crying and repeating how sorry she was, because she couldn't understand what she could be sorry for. She hadn't been the one causing the shooting, and she had even less been the one to convince Edward to throw himself in front of her, so it hadn't made any sense to her._

_That until Alice had told her she had never meant to let her down in the restaurant. She had wanted to help her with Edward, really she had, but seeing the blood, so much blood, and realizing what had happened to him and what could have happened to any of them, she had been scared shitless and unable to move a muscle. At least until Adam had snapped at her, but then everything was already taken care of._

_Apparently Alice thought she would be mad at her, but first of all Bella was just too preoccupied over Edward to be mad at anyone, least of all her best friend. And secondly, even if she had cursed about every person present in the restaurant and who had just stood there without doing a thing while Edward was losing his blood just in front of their eyes, she could admit, once the first shock passed and now that she was calmer that she didn't know how she would have reacted herself in the same situation._

_The only reason she had acted so quickly this time was probably only because it was Edward and because she was too scared she was going to lose him to even pause to ponder what she was doing, or if she was doing it correctly._

_Who knew how she would have acted then, what she would have done if she had stumbled upon a scene like that, or if she had seen her best friend almost getting killed three feet from her?_

_Besides, knowing how nervous and emotive Alice could get under pressure, Bella guessed that it was already a miracle she had been able to call the ambulance when she had asked her to, or listen to Adam when he had called to her. So, in the end, since there was no way she could hold it against her, she had of course reassured her and Alice had been more than happy to stay and wait with her._

_Afterwards, not long after they had received the first news concerning Edward's state, Bella's parents had come running into the hospital almost as frantic as she had been herself when she had arrived, which had been quite a surprise to her._

_It had taken her a moment to understand what had them so panicked and she had first assumed that they were worried about Edward, too, moreover since the incident had occurred in their restaurant, but when they had told her that '_some idiot_' had informed them, when they had been back from their trip to Port Angeles, that there had been a shooting in the Eclipse and that their daughter had been seen getting into the ambulance, it had all made more sense to her. _

_It was little wonder then if her mother had looked ready to crawl up the walls when she had gotten there and that she had been unable to let go of her, no matter how many times Bella had told her that she was alright and might need to breathe again sooner or later. With the little information they had had, they had been sure Bella had been the one to be shot and were already conjuring up the worst scenarios._

_No need to say, then, that her mother nearly keeled over when Bella finally admitted that it would have been the case if it weren't for Edward, but that was enough to make her parents want to stay, too, if only to meet and thank the young man who had saved their precious daughter's life._

_In the end, Edward hadn't been as badly hurt as they had all first assumed or feared, and all in all it couldn't have taken them more than two hours to attend to him and repair whatever damage that bullet had done to him, but to Bella and probably to all the members of his family, those had to be the longest hours of her life._

_The next ones hadn't been better, though, and at some point Bella had honestly been ready to pull her hair out. She had also lost count of how many times she had paced the length of the hospital halls, even when everyone kept telling her that it wouldn't help or make the doctors come sooner with more news. But she couldn't help it. She just couldn't stay still._

_She was already going half crazy when the doctors had finally come back, but she really thought she was going to lose it for good when they were told that though Edward was okay now, they would still have to wait for him to be taken to a room and be given the authorization to visit him._

_At that moment, Bella had actually not been very far from giving them a piece of her mind when she had heard them say, once more, that only the family could stay in the room and that they didn't want too many people inside at the same time, which basically meant that she would be denied the right to see Edward. But once more Esme Cullen had been fantastic and she had again taken her side and negotiated her staying. Bella could only guess that she had sensed her desperation, but no matter the reasons why she was doing it, she would eternally be grateful for her kindness._

_It hadn't actually taken her more than a few words with the doctor and a little white lie, and everything had been arranged. Bella had apparently become Edward's girlfriend and part of his family, and she had entered his room with Esme after Rosalie and her father had gone in and out._

_Unfortunately, it hadn't been enough for Bella. As soon as she had seen him, laying there on his side and so still, she couldn't stop the flow of tears again, and when she had been asked to exit the room, she had simply refused._

_She couldn't. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to be sure he was really alright and be there when he would open his eyes. And so she had shamelessly cried and begged, not caring in the least about what people could think of her, and after having obtained Edward's parents' consent to let her stay in the room with him, the doctors had finally conceded defeat._

_They didn't think there would be any way to stop her anyway, and so she could stay if she wanted, but they made a point to make her understand that this was a special favor they were doing her, because of the situation, and because they understood that since Edward had actually risked his life for her, her need to be with him was even greater._

_They couldn't be more wrong, though. It had nothing to do with Edward saving her life. It was just because it was _him_. She didn't need any other reason to feel the way she felt, because if she hadn't realized before just how important he was to her, she surely did now. _

_As she looked at him now, his face illuminated by the little light emanating from the hall, she couldn't help but be struck once more by how serene he looked. He didn't _seem_ to be in any pain right now, and if you didn't know he had been shot, you could perfectly believe he was sleeping peacefully. _

_But Bella knew better. She had had time to observe him during the many hours she had been there, and she had seen him grimace too many times to not understand his sleep wasn't that restful._

_The last hour he had actually become quite agitated and Bella hoped that it meant that he would wake up soon. That was probably why she couldn't sleep herself in fact. She was too afraid she would miss his waking again, like she had the other time when her parents had finally managed to get her out of the room._

_Bad luck. That was what it was called._

_She couldn't even say how long she had been by his bed without leaving the room, just waiting for a sign, a move, anything, when she had finally decided to take her parents' advice to go home and change, sure that she would be gone and back in a flash and that nothing would happen in the meantime. But that was exactly the moment Edward had chosen to come around again after so long._

_She couldn't even believe it herself when she had come back and Rosalie had told her that he had awoken, even if it was only briefly. He hadn't talked, he hadn't even really moved or anything. He had just opened his eyes and stared at his mother who was by his side at that moment. He had then looked quite confused as nurses hovered over him and asked him numerous questions, questions he obviously didn't understand, and not long after, he was out to the world once more._

_It wasn't much of course, but everyone had been ecstatic after that. Well, everyone but Bella, who cursed herself for having chosen just that moment to leave. She knew it was stupid, since he would have probably not recognized her if he had already had a hard time recognizing his own mother, but still she wished she could have been there. What was sure however was that she wouldn't make the same mistake twice._

_Edward moved again and as she saw beads of sweat standing out on his brow, Bella immediately reached out to wipe them away, and then tenderly brushed his hair aside. She half expected him to be burning up, since the doctors had warned them that there was a great possibility he would have a temperature, and so she was glad when she noticed he wasn't particularly warm._

_What she didn't expect, though, was to get lost in a pool of emerald when she looked down and she found herself eyes locked with Edward's now opened ones._

_At first she couldn't believe it and she held her breath, sure that she was just imagining everything, but she obviously wasn't._

_Edward blinked at her a couple of times, clearly disoriented, and she called his name softly, hoping he would just say something, anything that would show her that he was alright and that he was going to stay conscious a little longer this time._

_When he didn't, she thought about calling a nurse or someone to check on him, but Edward kept looking straight back at her, and so she decided to just wait. Maybe he just needed some time to get his bearings back, after all he had been asleep so long, he was probably wondering where he was and what he was doing there._

_But though Bella had no way to know it, this was actually far from the truth. _

'_I'm dead'._

_'I. Am. Surely. Dead'.' There was no way it could be otherwise, Edward told himself as he looked into the beautiful eyes of Bella Swan. He had to, or else he couldn't explain how on earth he could be lying here, in a bed he absolutely didn't know, and she could be not even a foot from him, or how she could have been touching him so gently not even a minute ago. _

_But wait… if he was dead, why was he feeling so sore? he thought as he realized just how much his body hurt._

_He shouldn't feel anything in fact, or at least he shouldn't feel any type of pain, should he? It was a strange sensation actually, like his whole right side was still asleep or something, but he guessed it was what happened when you lay a long time in the same position, and he had a feeling he might have done that quite a while. However that was still nothing compared with the ache near his left hip._

_He tried to roll on his back to get more comfortable, and he almost groaned when he realized that something was obviously there to stop him from doing so. So much for comfort, huh? Apparently he would have to do with that position a little longer._

_The short movement however, caused him to feel a slight burning sensation in his left arm and as he looked down, that was when he noticed the perfusion hanging from it._

_Among other things._

_Oh, goodness! he was bare-chested. He was bare-chested in front of Bella Swan. What the hell were they thinking? He needed a shirt, something, anything. What if she found him too skinny? What if she didn't like what she saw? What if that ruined his chances? _

_And what about you just shut up and stop talking to yourself, a voice resonated in his head and he cringed when he realized that he was as stupid dead apparently as he had been alive._

_Okay, that was freaky, and he should really stop thinking that he was dead because he obviously wasn't._

_He was in a hospital apparently. He was alright, although he didn't know by which miracle that was possible. He was with Bella Swan. And… he was freaking bare-chested._

_"Hey!" Bella whispered at last when she couldn't stand it any longer, and scooted her chair closer before switching the small lamp on the side on._

_Obviously he was wide awake now -though why he looked near panic she couldn't figure- so she could as well try and start a conversation. At least that way she wouldn't feel so awkward at being here near him while he… kept looking at his chest? Uh, was there a problem with his chest? Because as far as she was concerned there wasn't any and believe it, she had had time to take a good look at it._

_Edward flinched at the sudden light, and then blushed when he saw her looking intently at him. Well, that had to mean she was waiting for him to say something, right?_

_Something… uh… what about you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my whole life… too forward?… yeah, right!_

_"Hey, yourself!" he answered back instead, a small shy smile on his lips._

_Okay, definitely not the most life-altering reply, but that was a start, wasn't it?_

_"How are you feeling?" she questioned gently, concern marring her delicate features._

_"Okay, I guess!" he told her, but the next second he brought his hand to his parched throat and coughed slightly._

_"Uh… wait… here…" she said and grabbed for the pitcher that was on his nightstand before pouring some water in a glass and bringing it to his lips._

_As she helped him and sustained his head, Edward carefully gulped the liquid down but he couldn't tear his eyes off her face, making it hard for Bella to focus on what she was doing. Then when he was finished, she quickly put the glass down and concentrated on her hands, finding it suddenly very hard to look at him._

_"Thank you!" Edward murmured, trying to smile again, but it quickly turned into a frown when he noticed the way she kept her eyes down._

_He wondered what she could be thinking as he saw her fidgeting with her fingers and biting her bottom lip, years of observing her having taught him that she only did that when she was really nervous or pensive, and he grew concerned, thinking that maybe she wasn't really comfortable with him here. Yet that feeling was quickly replaced by incomprehension when he caught a glimpse of her shimmering eyes._

_"You… y-you scared me, you know!" Bella admitted after a long moment of silence, her voice trembling, and though she had promised herself that she would be strong and not cry in front of him, she couldn't hold back her tears no matter how hard she tried._

_"I'm sorry!" not knowing what else to say, Edward apologized uneasily when he understood what had her so silent, and Bella felt a rush of tenderness wash over her at his sudden boyish expression. _

_Of course she knew he was sincere, but it did little to calm her down unfortunately, or make up for the scare he had given her._

_"Don't you ever do that to me again!" she scolded him before she could stop herself or realize it was kind of ridiculous to tell him such a thing._

_Fortunately Edward seemed to understand where she was coming from and he didn't look at her like she was crazy or anything alike. If anything, she saw his expression softening even more and she was hit once more with just how beautiful and kind he truly was._

_"I'll try my best!" he promised as he awkwardly reached out to caress her cheek with his thumb and wiped her tears away, immediately reveling in the feel of her soft skin under his fingers. He almost had a heart attack however, when he saw Bella close her eyes briefly and lean into his touch, before she grabbed his hand herself. " What happened exactly?" he then asked, doing all he could to not be affected by the contact of her hand with his, or at least to not show her how much it affected him. _

_God, if this was a dream, he didn't want anyone to ever wake him up._

_"You don't… you don't remember?" Bella stammered surprised. He couldn't have really forgotten, could he?_

_Oh god, what if he had lost all memories? Did he only know who she was? she thought, already wondering what she would tell him if he actually asked her who she was and what their relationship was. She didn't even know what to tell him, or what they were exactly. They weren't really friends, barely acquaintances, and that couldn't explain what she was doing here, in his hospital room, in the middle of the night._

_However, Edward put a stop to her dilemma with his next answer._

_"I do… vaguely, I mean… I was shot, right?" he said, though by the tone of his voice, he didn't seem completely sure of himself._

_Not that he didn't know that he had actually been shot, the fact that he was lying there, with his side throbbing painfully was proof enough of that. It was more that he still had some difficulties comprehending that a bullet had pierced his body, had really torn his flesh and yet he had somehow survived it._

_For the rest, he remembered humiliating himself in front of her, that he surely did, though he wished he could have forgotten about the whole episode. He also remembered seeing her frozen in the middle of the restaurant, or watching two men arguing by the door and stepping in front of Bella to protect her when he saw a gun. Then, he had some vague recollection of lying on the floor and hearing Bella calling his name repeatedly, but from there everything was quite fuzzy to be honest._

_"Yeah." Bella just uttered softly, while inwardly she couldn't help adding ' Saving my life'._

_"Funny, I don't remember feeling any pain then!" Edward chuckled, but the way he winced at that same moment showed Bella that he wasn't finding any humor in the situation now._

_"Does… does it hurt?… I mean now?" she asked hesitantly, even when she was almost sure of the answer._

_He had maybe not felt the pain when it had actually happened, but she didn't doubt for a minute that it had to hurt like hell now, even with the painkillers they had been injecting him with. She remembered all too well when she had had her appendix removed, she had probably never cried so much or been in so much pain, so if you were hit by a bullet, she could only imagine, even if Edward was acting like it was okay or perfectly bearable._

_"Only when I laugh my ass off!" Edward joked weakly, seeing that she needed to be reassured, and he was actually pretty proud of himself when he realized that it had the effect he had hoped it would._

_In reality it hurt like a bitch, but he didn't think that telling Bella that would help her feel any less guilty, quite the contrary in fact, and she seemed to already feel too much of that for his liking._

_"Oh… so we're safe then!" Bella acknowledged his effort and as she wiped the remnants of her tears away, she even managed a small smile only for his sake. After all if he could joke about the situation, she should as well humor him._

_"Uh?… I'm not sure I like what you are insinuating, Swan!" Edward said in mocked hurt, but the way he was smiling betrayed his true feelings._

_In truth, he was sure that nothing could have made him feel happier at that moment, even considering his condition. He would have never thought of course that it would have to take something like what had happened to him to finally talk to Bella Swan, but there was no way he would wish to change that now. No, no way._

_Nonetheless, he still had quite a hard time comprehending himself that she could be here, next to him and conversing with him like they had done that a million times already, even if there was no denying that she seemed to be feeling still a little self-conscious, and if he hadn't already felt like kicking himself before for being such a coward and always chickening out every time he thought about talking to her, he surely did now._

_When he realized now how easy it actually was to talk to her, that was the only thing he wanted to do. Kick himself for his own stupidity._

_He had made such a big deal out of this that he had convinced himself that it could only end in a huge disaster and that was why he had stayed away so many times when everything told him he should just try to approach her. And all for what? It all just seemed so ridiculous in the end because no matter how frightened he had been until this point, talking to Bella had to be the most natural thing in the world._

_"Well… I-I don't think I have ever seen you laugh that much, that's all!" Bella tried to defend herself, thinking that she had really offended him at first, but one look at his face was finally enough to put a rest to her apprehension._

_"That's because you don't know me! I'm a real party animal when I want!" Edward affirmed quite proudly even if deep down, he knew she was probably right._

_He was always so nervous around her that it was almost normal that he had never been able to be himself, and so it was little wonder then that she could believe he didn't even know how to smile. But he planned on changing that now, if she gave him a chance._

_"I know you more than you think!" Bella whispered softly, probably more to herself than to him, as with her thumb she caressed the back of his hand which she had yet to release._

_His hand seemed so big in her little one but yet she couldn't help thinking that somehow they fitted perfectly nonetheless. Yeah, perfectly. She had never paid any attention to that detail, maybe because she had never been close enough to do so, but really he had beautiful hands. They seemed so strong, and yet she knew how gentle they could be. She remembered all too well how they had felt when he had been holding her tightly to him or cradling her face tenderly in them._

_That was certainly another thing she knew she could admire to no end about him, but unexpectedly she felt him squeezing her fingers lightly and she blushed ten shades of red when she realized what she had been doing._

_"Huh… maybe I should… go now!… you… you're supposed to rest!" she stammered embarrassed and unable to look up at him at first. But as she sat up, ready to leave, she saw the deep frown that suddenly marred his forehead and before she could stop herself, she was adding: "Or I-I could stay if… if you want me to!"_

_It wasn't like she really wanted to go anyway, or even that she had anywhere to go actually considering what time it was. After all if she left, she would only go and try to find some sleep in the waiting room since walking back to her house was out of question now, but the last thing she wanted was to be a problem to him or of any inconvenience. _

_"I would like that, yeah!" Edward was quick to answer, since he had already been trying to find anything he could tell her that would make her stay with him a little longer._

_Of course he was still feeling weak and he knew he should try to sleep even if he was sure that he had been doing that a lot already, but he couldn't let her go yet. Who knew when such an opportunity would present itself again otherwise, huh? For all he knew, she could get out of this room and they would go back to their old routine, she, not knowing that he existed and he, not daring showing her he did, and that was definitely not something he wanted to go through again._

_"Anything for my savior!" Bella said smiling, but when she saw his face falling slightly, she almost regretted her words._

_"Oh… so that's why you're staying, huh?… and here I was already hoping…" Edward sighed exaggeratedly, like all his dreams had just been shattered at once, but he trailed off before he could complete the sentence, and left it to Bella to try and find out the rest if she wanted to know. And fortunately, she didn't disappoint him._

_"Hoping f-for what?" she asked in a whisper and her voice quivering._

_She didn't know what she could expect of such a sentence, moreover coming from Edward, but somehow she sensed that whatever he was going to tell her or whatever response she would have to give him in return, could perfectly change her life._

_"Hoping that you could like me!" he breathed out, and though he was wishing to appear all confident, he couldn't help the slight tremor his own voice held as he said the words._

_He didn't doubt for a second that her answer, at least if it were negative in any way, could certainly hurt him more than a hundred bullets could at that moment, but he just had to ask._

_If being shot had shown him anything, it was that he had no time to waste anymore, because anything could happen while he made up his mind and decided to go after what he wanted. He liked Bella, he had always liked her, and he knew that if he let this new chance to know her pass him by, he would regret it for the rest of his existence._

_He didn't care if it was just as a friend, but he knew that he needed her in his life and now more than ever. He had been too close to death to not realize that life was short and that you could lose everything in a matter of seconds, or when you less expected it. And he really didn't feel like questioning everything he did, everything he felt anymore, just because he was too scared to take a chance._

_Besides, he couldn't help thinking that just the fact that she was here, at his bedside, when she could probably be anywhere else, had to be a good thing, even if of course after what she had just said, there was always the possibility that she could be here only because she was feeling responsible. Yet as he thought back to what Adam had told him about the fact that she stared, too, he found himself really hoping that it could be so much more than that._

_But unfortunately, Bella didn't have the opportunity to answer to his statement, since that was the moment a nurse chose to come in and see if everything was alright with him and Edward nearly cursed her for her bad timing. _

_The middle-aged woman crossed the room and she couldn't help but smile once more as she saw the two teenagers so close. She had been observing them through the blinds before daring enter and interrupting them, and she had immediately been mesmerized by the sight. She had seen many couples of this age, whether it was in a situation like this one or not, and she could honestly say that she didn't remember having ever seen two people looking so smitten. _

_There was just something about the way they looked at each other, so shyly, so purely and innocently. And yet, she could see the love pouring of each of them so evidently, she had no doubt that what they shared was something to be treasured, and she really hoped they realized that as well._

_She couldn't help wondering how long they had been together however, since though there was no denying that they surely made a cute couple, they seemed to be so young to already be experiencing such a strong relationship. But nevertheless, she surely wished them to last. It was so difficult to find real love nowadays, and moreover when you were still only a teenager._

_Now she usually did her best to not get too emotionally attached to her patients, because there wasn't much choice with her job if she didn't want to break down sometimes due to some of the horrors she could witness, but she would lie if she said that she hadn't been deeply moved by those two._

_She didn't know the boy yet, but what she had heard about him had been enough to make her like him on the spot. Actually the whole hospital had probably felt the same way when they had been told how he had saved the young girl's life, or how he had risked his own for that, and she knew for a fact that everyone had been praying for his recovery, all along with his family and who they all assumed was his girlfriend._

_They had all witnessed her despair during the few hours she had been there, waiting anxiously while he went through surgery, or afterwards when she had refused to leave his side for anything in the world, and one would have to be completely coldhearted to not be affected by the sight. She couldn't have been more glad then to finally see them together, holding hands and smiling at each other._

_"Hey, Superman… glad to see you finally woke up… your girlfriend here was really getting desperate!" she teased as she reached Edward's side, and not a second did she consider the fact that her sentence could embarrass both teenagers, or that she could be wrong in her assumption. She even smiled sweetly at Bella as she saw her moving backwards to give her enough room to do her job._

_"Uh… hi… yeah… well…" Edward stuttered, not sure of what he was supposed to say to that._

_He didn't mind himself, at all, but he instantly found himself wondering if it could bother Bella to be called his girlfriend. However when he saw her blush and lower her gaze bashfully, he almost forgot about that thought and considered instead the possibility that maybe that was what she had told the hospital staff so she could stay with him. _

_After all, as far as he knew visitors weren't usually allowed to stay the night or past visiting hours, and though he didn't know exactly what time it was, he clearly knew that they were already way into the night. _

_"How are you feeling?… Are you hurting?" the nurse inquired as she reached for his arm and took his blood pressure before checking on his vital signs._

_"No… uh… no, I-I'm fine… it's okay!" Edward lied, sure that there wasn't much she could do anyway since they were already giving him painkillers and that was enough to relieve him some. Besides, he really didn't want to be given anything else, if only because he wanted to stay perfectly conscious so that he could keep talking with Bella._

_"Are you sure?" she insisted, even if she could see he seemed to be okay and definitely more alert than the first time he had woken up. "Dr. Sanchez is on call tonight… I could have him come and look at you?"_

_"No, really… I mean… unless it's absolutely necessary…" Edward answered back, smiling at her in hopes that it would be enough to reassure her completely and therefore make her drop the matter and just leave._

_Not that he wanted to be rude or that he didn't appreciate her kindness, but right now the only thing he wanted was to finish the conversation he had started with Bella and hear her answer to his indirect question._

_"No… everything seems okay… you're a strong young man apparently and you were quite lucky, too… so if you don't feel any discomfort, or anything, it can wait till the morning." the nurse informed him since he had already been checked several times while he was asleep anyway. The only thing she was supposed to do now was to make sure he wasn't complaining about any particular ache, and since it didn't seem to be the case, they had nothing to worry about for now._

_"Okay… I'm fine, honestly!" Edward reiterated, relieved that he would apparently not have to go through a whole check-up exam right now._

_"Great… do you need anything?" she then asked, but even when she saw him shaking his head negatively, she couldn't help but persist a little more. "Are you comfortable with this here? It was just a precaution so you wouldn't roll completely on your back… but I guess we can take it off now!… Just be careful…" she continued, pointing to the foam-rubber triangle thingy he had noticed behind his back when waking up._

_"Yeah… if that's okay…" Edward told her and smiled once more when she immediately complied._

_"Well, then that's it for now… call if there is anything, okay?" the nurse concluded when she finished with that, sensing how eager the young man seemed to be left alone with the girl._

_"Sure… thank you!" Edward told her, even if he knew that as long as Bella would be there, he would content himself with her company and do his best to not be interrupted again._

_"Try to not wear yourself out… you still need to regain some strength." she finally advised as she reached the door, and chuckled softly when she heard him telling her that it wasn't like he planned on going anywhere anyway. Then, before exiting the room, she threw a warning look to Bella nonetheless and added for her this time. "And you young girl, remember what the doctor said, okay?"_

_Bella smiled at her and nodded quickly, knowing that she didn't have much choice but to agree if she didn't want the staff to ask her to leave. After all she had had to do to be there, it would be kind of stupid to be kicked out now, wouldn't it?_

_"God… I wish these chairs weren't so uncomfortable!" Bella said the first thing that passed through her mind the instant they were left all by themselves and Edward's eyes set on her again._

_She knew that was probably one of the stupidest things she could have come up with, but suddenly being alone with him was making her feel nervous again. Maybe it was because she realized they were entering new territory, that everything was slowly but surely changing between them and that if they went on nothing would ever be the same, but she couldn't help herself._

_There was just something about the way he was looking at her, like he was trying to find answers to whatever questions could run through his mind, and she didn't really know what to make of it._

_She wondered if he was questioning what was happening between them now, or if he was wondering where they would go from there, just like she was. If he was also a little scared of what that would mean for them, or just scared to talk to her and have a real conversation with her for the very first time. Yet as part of her felt the apprehension, she wouldn't wish to be in any other place right at that instant._

_Then again, he could just be trying to figure out if she had been the one to tell the nurse and everyone else here she was his girlfriend, or something like that. And if that were the case, she couldn't help wondering what he could think of that fact. Or what he would say then, if he actually knew that it had actually been his mother's idea. Not that she planned on asking him, but still._

_"Are they?" Edward wondered out loud, as he saw her bringing her chair closer again and then changing position for the umpteenth time._

_Honestly, they looked pretty comfy to him, but anything would probably look more comfortable to him at this point than having to lie on one side on a hospital bed, so that wasn't saying much._

_"When you've been seated on them for nearly 35 hours? Definitely!" Bella blurted out, before blushing when she realized what she had just admitted to him._

_"You've been here that long?" Edward queried, quite stunned by that revelation. Yet as surprised as he was, he couldn't not feel completely elated by the idea. Surely the fact that she had spent so much time here had to mean something, right? It couldn't be only pity or gratitude that compelled her to stay._

_"Yeah… it wasn't easy at first… they didn't want me to stay with you… said I wasn't part of the family so I couldn't… but then your parents explained the situation and since they were okay… the doctor said I could stay… as long as I didn't tire you out if you woke up!" she rushed out in almost one breath. _

_Of course she knew she was babbling, but there seemed to be no way to stop the flow of words. She had a tendency to do that a lot when she was anxious, and say that she was now would be an understatement, since she didn't know how he would react to the piece of information she had just given him, even if it had been involuntarily._

_"You're not!… so are my parents still here?" Edward reassured her and then demanded, realizing only afterwards what a stupid question it was. Knowing his mother she had probably planted a tent in the hospital to stay here for as long as it would be necessary and be near him if anything happened, so he shouldn't even have needed to ask._

_He was actually surprised she wasn't there, but maybe they weren't letting more than one person stay in the room at once. In fact, now that he thought about it, his mother had been here with him before, hadn't she? _

_It was kind of foggy, but if that hadn't been a dream, he remembered waking up at least once and seeing her concerned and tearful face hovering above him, and hearing her asking him if he could hear her. But though he had, he didn't think he had been able to answer her. He was just feeling too tired for that and the only thing he had wanted was to get back to sleep._

_"Yeah… they are in the waiting room… your sister is still here, too, I think… do you want me to go and look for them?" she informed him, already ready to leave him to get them if that was what he wanted._

_After all, considering what he had been through, it would only be normal for him to want to see his family rather than spending some time with a girl he didn't even know and who had certainly already imposed too much of her presence._

_"No… no… it's okay… if they have been here as long as you have been, they are probably exhausted… I'll see them later… but thank you!" he responded hastily before she could even make a move._

_Truth be told, though he wanted to see his parents and let them check by themselves that he was alright, he also wanted to spend as much time with Bella as he could, and he was afraid that if all his family suddenly erupted into the room, she would just take the opportunity to leave him already, and he really didn't want her to._

_"No, thank _you_!" she countered, knowing that if anyone here had to give thanks, it was definitely her. _

_"For what?" Edward replied a little confused since he didn't really see, at least at that moment, what she was thanking him for._

_"For saving my life… Edward… you could have… y-you could…" she stuttered, getting emotional again._

_God, she was sure he had to think she was a real crybaby by now, but she couldn't help herself. Every time she thought of what could have really happened to him, because of her, or how she could have lost him because of that, she couldn't stop the tears again. She quickly tried to brush them away of course, not wanting him to witness another one of her fits, but it was already too late for that. _

_The instant he saw her breaking down again, he took her hand and forced her to look at him._

_"Hey, don't even say it, all right!… I'm okay…_you_ are okay, and that's all that matters now!" Edward didn't even let her finish, not needing her to voice out loud what could have happened, or remind him how he could have not been here with her if that bullet had entered at a different angle for example, or whatever else. _

_"Yeah!" she nodded and whispered, part of her knowing that he was right._

_There was no reason to dwell on the past, or on what could have been, but she knew without a doubt that she would never be able to forget the sight of Edward bleeding on the Eclipse floor. That was a vision that would certainly stay with her for as long as she would live._

_She would never forget either just how scared she had been, or how much it had hurt to think that she would maybe never have the opportunity to tell him how much she cared for him. But now that she was given another chance with him, she knew she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. _

_No, now that they had finally taken that first tentative step toward what she hoped would at least become some solid friendship, she planned on doing everything she could to keep Edward Cullen in her life._

_"So, uh… you… uh, you want to share?" Edward proposed out of the blue, interrupting Bella in her musing and managing to shock even himself. In fact, he hadn't even been aware of what he was going to say until the words were already out._

_"Sh-Share?" she parroted, the surprise evident on her face when she saw him moving slowly over and pointing out at the now empty space near him._

_Surely he couldn't really be suggesting what she was thinking, could he?_

_"Yeah… I-I mean… if you want to stay…" he trailed off uncertainly, but knowing that now that he had gotten that far, he couldn't really back off again._

_Oh, dear Lord, what was wrong with him? Was he really asking Bella Swan, girl of his dreams, love of his life, future mother of his children -uh, okay that was maybe going too far… yet…- to share a bed with him. Damn man, he should really get the name of whatever drugs they had been giving him, because they were surely efficient and did wonders to loosen his tongue._

_Though, on second thoughts, if he started to blurt out everything that crossed his mind where Bella was concerned, he could quickly get into trouble._

_"A-Are you sure?… I mean… can we?" Bella questioned hesitantly herself, not sure that was really a good idea._

_Not that she wasn't already considering the possibility, or that she didn't actually want to just lie down near him and maybe find some restful sleep finally, but she wasn't sure it would be wise to do so, considering his still weak condition. She didn't doubt that she would appreciate being so close to him, but he probably needed all the space he could have to be really comfortable. _

_"Yes… unless you feel… uncomfortable… but… I mean, there is enough room for two… and well, it's not like we'd be doing anything wrong or… I mean it's no big deal… we'd just be sleeping together and that's okay… no, uh… that's not… that's not okay… I didn't mean… I… oh, jeez!… maybe I should just shut up now!… I… just… just forget I even talked…" Edward stumbled over the words and then could only groan out loud in mortification when he realized what he had just told her._

_Obviously it was too good to last and he should have known that sooner or later, he would make a complete fool out of himself, like he always did when she was near. She probably thought he was a moron now, if she hadn't already before of course._

_Maybe he could just tell her that was a side effect of the drugs? he quickly considered, hoping that that would be enough to save him. But he didn't even have time to utter another word, Bella's reaction leaving him almost speechless._

_"It's okay!… I got it…" she could only smile, as she realized that though he was the one to make the offer, he was probably just as nervous as she was._

_As he saw her move to switch off the lamp and then kick her shoes off before settling down next to him, Edward couldn't help but think that obviously Bella was on the same thing he was. Or those drugs were stronger than what he had first thought and he was simply hallucinating. He had to. Otherwise how could it be explained that she had accepted? But not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he would keep hallucinating if no one else minded._

_No one, really? Okay, going, going, gone! Thanks guys._

_Now, in any other circumstances, Bella would have been completely shocked by her own boldness and certainly not even thought about doing such a thing, finding herself in bed with someone she barely knew not being something she envisioned herself being able to do, but somehow she couldn't help thinking that it felt right to be here with him, to talk to him. And it felt right to be this close to him. Even if she didn't dare come too close nonetheless and she lay down, leaving a safe distance between the two of them. _

_The first few minutes of their new arrangement were spent in comfortable silence, both of them reveling in each other's proximity, and they would have probably naturally and almost immediately drifted to sleep in that position, if it weren't for Bella's need to talk again._

_"Edward?" she called his name softly, though she obstinately refused to look up at him._

_Not that being almost face into his naked chest was any better, or helped in any way to calm her down, but still it was probably safer than to get lost into his eyes._

_"Mmm?" he whispered back, almost afraid that if he talked too loudly he would break the spell, or something, and come back to a reality where all this was only some beautiful dream._

_"I like you!" Bella confessed in a soft murmur, finally giving him the answer he had been waiting for._

_And what an answer it was for him. Since she had her eyes riveted to his torso, she couldn't see the thousand watts smile that appeared on his face, but his next sentence seemed to be enough to prove to her he was happy with the knowledge._

_"Oh, you do, huh?" Edward tried to play it cool with a cocky reply, but inside he was doing summersaults and cartwheels and was sure that it wouldn't take him long to burst from happiness._

_"Hey, don't go all hyper and get your boxers in a twist… I don't like you _that_ much!" Bella denied jokingly when she heard his teasing tone. _

_However, when she expected him to come back with a good retort of his own, she saw him reaching under the covers as best as he could with the perfusion still in his arm, and she gasped when she realized what he was doing._

_For Edward, it was like a trigger. The instant he heard the word 'boxers', he felt the need to check out if he was wearing anything at all under that sheet. Not that he truly believed that they would have left him stark naked after already leaving him bare-chested, but you never knew. And since the chances he would embarrass himself now that Bella was this close to him were even greater than what was normal for him, he just had to be sure. Better be safe than sorry they said after all._

_"Wow… for a minute I thought they had taken that, too!" Edward expelled an exaggerated relieved sigh and said a little too cheerfully when he felt the texture of what he assumed were some hospital pants and then the elastic band of his underwear. The only problem was that at the same time he did so, he also couldn't help but readjust himself, even if the gesture was honestly barely perceptible._

_"Oh, my god… I so know you didn't just touch yourself, just here… in front of me!" Bella all but squealed, sounding outraged when in reality she was doing her best to not burst out into laughter._

_She was almost afraid to blink now, sure that if she just closed her eyes even only for a second, she would see someone appearing in front of her and telling her that she had just entered the Twilight Zone. It wouldn't surprise her, and it would surely explain better what had just happened, because until now she would have never believed that the Edward Cullen she knew, the one who belonged to her timeline, could be such a tease, or do such a thing without obviously feeling any shame._

_"I didn't touch myself!" Edward met her eyes squarely and negated with a shake of his head, but he had a hard time not cracking up himself._

_He knew he should feel embarrassed right now, but for the life of him, he couldn't feel any of it. God, what a change from the man who couldn't say a word to her, to the one who felt he could dare anything. Ah, the wonders of a good morphine fix._

_"You did!" Bella cried out, eyes wide opened, as she shoved his shoulder playfully._

_"Did not!" Edward threw back, unable to hide his smile now._

_Man, if anyone had told him two days ago that he would soon find himself in bed with Bella Swan, cracking silly jokes and ribbing her, he would have certainly thought them crazy and not believe it, yet here he really was, and he could honestly say that nothing had ever felt so right, or so natural to him._

_"Did, too!" Bella insisted, refusing to back down in front of him. Besides, no matter how stupid this was, she was having too much fun to let go just now._

_"Did not!" Edward poked his tongue at her and he couldn't stop the little yelp that escaped his lips when she pinched him this time, even if it was definitely not hard enough to cause him any real pain. And Bella obviously knew that, too, if the way she rolled her eyes at his reaction was any indication._

_Since none of them wanted to be the first to give in, their little game lasted a good five minutes, until Edward discovered that beside being everything he already knew her to be, Bella Swan was also a very stubborn girl, too, and he relented, knowing there was no way for him to win this one._

_"Okay! Fine, god, woman… I touched myself! Are you satisfied?" he cried out at last, making a show of blowing on his supposedly sore shoulder._

_"Very!" Bella replied with the brightest smile Edward had ever seen on her face and the sight made his heart skip a beat. Yet there was no way the expression on his face didn't match her own._

_He didn't know about her, but he was sure that nothing could have wiped away the silly grin that he was sporting right that instant. He was in bed with Bella Swan. His side hurt him like hell if he just as much as breathed too loudly, he had nearly gotten himself killed, but hey, guys, who cared? He was IN. BED. WITH. BELLA. SWAN!_

_Boy, if he liked the sound of those few words together._

'_I am in bed with Bella Swan!'_

'_I am in bed with Bella Swan!'_

_He could probably have spent a while just dwelling on those words and repeating them over and over, and over again without tiring, when he heard Bella again and tried to concentrate on her and what she was saying and not on what his crazy mind was making him do. Jeez, he really got it bad, that was for sure._

_"I think I'm going to have to keep an eye on you now… just to make sure that you don't get yourself killed or something, you know!" Bella told Edward while she fidgeted with a thread of the upper sheet and tried to focus her attention on that and not on his face._

_"As long as you don't find yourself on the trajectory of a bullet too often, I think we have nothing to fear!" Edward stated as seriously as he could, even if he knew the possibilities that something like what had occurred in the Eclipse happened again were pretty slim, if not non-existent. Yet he also knew that if it came down to that, he would do it all over again, if that meant that it would lead them to this moment._

_"I'm gonna do my best to keep away from them then!" Bella looked up and replied with a little smile, as their eyes locked and she saw Edward smiling down at her._

_"Why, thank you… I'd surely appreciate…" he retorted quite sarcastically, before what she had told him really registered in his brain and he couldn't help adding hopefully: "Hey, but if you have to keep an eye on me… that must mean that I'm going to see a lot of you from now on, right?"_

_"W-Would you like that?" Bella queried hesitantly, not sure of how she would react if he told her he wasn't interested._

_Of course, from what she had seen so far, and if she read all the signs correctly, she would say that she had nothing to fear, but after all, you never knew what could be going on through a guy's mind, right?_

_"I would love that!" Edward answered softly, his eyes never leaving hers and hoping it would be enough to erase the insecurity he could read on her face. _

_Yeah, he would really love that. After all, this was like a fantasy come true, and knowing that Bella seemed to want the exact same thing, only made the experience even more thrilling._

_"G-Good… because it's going to be hard to get rid of me now!" Bella told him honestly, though she tried to keep her tone quite light and not show him that she wasn't really feeling that confident. But now that they had gotten that far, she didn't want to go back to what they had before. How they were. She wanted more. So much more. And she needed to know he wanted that, too. _

_"I wouldn't even think of it, Bella!… because you know what?" tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear, Edward murmured before letting the question hanging between them._

_Of course externally he appeared calm, but inwardly every part of him was shaking and he couldn't help wondering if he could really tell her what he wanted to._

_"What?" Bella uttered, her voice matching the soft tone of his. God, she just loved the way he said her name, it was enough to make any girl swoon._

_"I think I like you, too!…" Edward settled for a half truth, considering at the last moment that it was still too soon to reveal all the extent of his feelings to her, even if it was just on the tip of his tongue to let her know. "A lot…" he continued meaningfully as he caressed her cheekbone with his thumb, marveling once more at how soft her skin could be. Just like her hair is, he thought inwardly, glad he had finally had the opportunity to find out._

_"That's… good!" Bella breathed out emotionally, her heart thudding erratically in her chest, and her skin burning up everywhere his fingers skimmed over it._

_Edward Cullen liked her. Edward Cullen liked her, _a lot_._

_The words echoed in her mind but they just seemed so surreal to her, she couldn't stop herself from repeating them over and over. Just like, unknowingly to her, Edward had done himself just minutes ago._

_Edward Cullen liked her a freaking lot._

_"It is, isn't it?" Edward responded, momentarily at a lack of words himself._

_Their gazes locked, their breathing coming out in uneven pants, they stayed there, just losing themselves into each other's eyes, until it became too much to bear. Until her stare got too intense for him to hold and Edward went on, knowing that if he didn't do something to ease the sudden tension in the air, he would just have to kiss her. Right there. Right then. And he wasn't sure either of them was ready for that yet._

_And so he chose the easy way out._

_"You know… in some cultures, when you save someone else's life, that person is kind of indebted to you… they have to become like your slave… or something like that!…" he related and then paused for effect, avoiding her gaze though to keep from completely cracking up, since he could already picture what would be her reaction. "… I think it's a nice way to repay such a favor!" he concluded then just too casually and even without looking up to him, Bella could hear the smug smile in his voice and she couldn't help chuckling openly._

_"Edward Anthony Cullen… you're not asking me to become your slave, are you?" Bella questioned, feigning indignation and wondering if she should be shocked this was coming from Edward himself, pleased, or just extremely flattered._

_Edward of course briefly wondered how she could know his middle name, but he quickly forgot about it when Bella's bottomless doe eyes dared him to go any further down that road._

_"And what if I were?" he challenged gently, never departing himself from his teasing smile._

_"In your dreams!" she retorted defiantly, but the beautiful smile on her lips told Edward that she wouldn't mind that much, or that at least she wasn't disgusted with the idea._

_"You don't want to know what's in my dreams, Bella Swan!" Edward whispered to her, before he passed his right hand around her and kissed her forehead tenderly when she naturally rested her head on his arm._

_Yes, Bella thought once more, it felt definitely right. It felt like coming home._

_That was how two set of parents -one who wanted to check on their injured son now that they knew he had really woken up, and another one who just wanted to try once more to convince their daughter she should really go home now, at least for a while- found them the next morning. Face to face, and wrapped awkwardly into each other's arms._

_And though their position seemed innocent enough, Bella lying over the covers while Edward lay under, they all understood that something special was happening between their children and that they probably would all have to see more of each other in the future. _

**TBC…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer**: See first parts.

**AN **: Here I am again ! Glad to see that you didn't think that the last chapter sucked completely!

**Longwhitenigh**t: Yeah, nothing new there, he was always kind of scared to have to talk when it really mattered, unfortunately! Don't worry, he will pull himself together now! As for Kate, no, he doesn't suspect anything yet, except the fact that she might indeed feel something for him, but that's the extent of it for now. The other guy will be mentioned in chapter ten in fact and you will finally now part of what happened with him! Thanks for the review!

**..iluvtwilight2**: yeah, Renee really liked Edward, until she started thinking, just like Bella that he had cheated on her! Concerning Janelle, your answer is in this chapter, hope it won't confuse more! Thanks too for reviewing!

**Flora73**: Thank you for reviewing, too! (btw, I'm visiting Germany tomorrow lol I'm going to Freiburg with some my students! Hope the weather is nice, coz where I live it's been raining all day! :( )

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: thank you for the review as well! And for more comments, see your PMs ;) en espérant que tu aimes également le prochain chapitre!

**Jctypes **: hopefully, that will be the last of traumatic events they will need ! as for the reference to Roswell, yes, definitely since like I said on my previous stories (obviously I didn't mention it here even if I was sure I had), I had only written Roswell fics until very recently, and then when I discovered Twilight (which wasn't so long ago in fact!) I thought I would adapt some of my old stories to the Twilight world! So that's why, though I made some changes, other things definitely scream Roswell (I did change Jason Behr into Robert Pattinson, though lol but that's why I said to picture him older, since he wasn't even acting yet, or at least known, ten years ago lol) Thanks once more for the feedback!

**Holy Cross Baby**: thanks for the reply, hope you'll feel for him now nonetheless ;)

**Edward4life1**: thank you, too, for taking the time to review!

Okay, hard chapter ahead, and there is some violence as well, so take a deep breath… (just like me lol) hope you like it nonetheless! Let me know! And keep trusting me of course!

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

Knuckles turning white, Edward gripped the steering wheel as hard as he could, his eyes riveted on the huge building not so far away.

The big red cross flashed in the distance and his stomach churned in anticipation. He couldn't be more than two minutes from the hospital, but it could as well be a lifetime to him. This was taking way too long, no matter how he looked at it.

He had broken about all the speed laws of the damn state to get there, and all for what? Nothing, if he judged by the time he was wasting here now. It seemed like an eternity to him already since he had been blocked here on this same spot, just because some guy thought the whole street was his and was taking his sweet time to unload his truck. And why would he care if because of that he was preventing anyone to pass by him, huh?

Edward was half tempted to just leave his own car where it was and go running the rest of the way, even if it would block the traffic even more, but he was sure that with the luck he seemed to have lately, or rather lack of it actually, he would probably only be a few feet away from here, that everything would be cleared and he would only have wasted even more time.

Instead so, he tried to call his parents again, but no matter how many times he dialed their number, he just couldn't get them on the phone. They obviously weren't home, which kind of surprised him since his father wasn't supposed to work this afternoon, but he guessed that they were just out, shopping or something like that.

Now he really didn't feel like leaving them a message explaining what was happening, though of course he wished he could join them and ask them to come to the hospital since he honestly didn't think he would be able to go through this alone. But he also knew all too well that his parents would probably completely flip out if they came back home only to hear that Bella had been in an accident and could be seriously hurt. Therefore, he just decided he would call them again as soon as he would have more news and know exactly what was going on.

He was glad, though, that he had managed to talk to Jasper, and even more that he had promised to be there as soon as possible, even if he had to cross half Los Angeles for that. He had never doubted he could count on him anyway, or that he would do everything it took to be there with him. He just hoped it would be enough.

He didn't want to think too much about what would be waiting for him once he would reach the damn hospital, but there was no saying just how scared he was feeling.

He hated hospitals. He always had, and having to go there in such circumstances was even worse now than anything he could have imagined. The week he had spent in one of them had been horrible enough, though Bella had been there almost every day with him and it had been what had actually brought them together in the end.

It was just the general atmosphere he despised, the smell, the weird feelings you got when you were left alone at night with nothing to do but stare at the pristine walls, well, everything in fact, even if right now he would gladly go back to that and live through it again, if it meant that he would be the one injured instead of Bella.

It was ironic though to think that where it had all started, it could all end. After all, the last time he had passed the doors of a hospital in such dramatic circumstances, his life had actually changed for the better. Now could perfectly be the time when the tables were turned around again.

But maybe that was the price he had to pay for being so stupid, and no one would deny he had been, one too many times.

You would think that getting nearly killed had set out what should be his priorities in life, huh? Well, it had, at least for a while. For a few years even.

But that was before he started taking Bella for granted. Before he forgot that being a husband didn't mean just being a financial support to your wife. And before he forgot about almost all the promises he had made that day he had awoken in a hospital bed.

What was left of them now, huh? When was the last time he had thought about treating Bella the way she should always be treated, because she not only deserved it, but he couldn't know what tomorrow would have in store for him, or if he would only have time to right his wrongs.

It was as if his near death experience had meant nothing once he had had what he wanted, like it had never even happened, and he needed another slap in the face to make him realize once more what he had and what he could perfectly lose if he wasn't careful.

Maybe if he had remembered, he wouldn't be where he was today. He wouldn't be questioning everything in his life again. He wouldn't be a part-time father, and even less only one step from being a divorced man. And he would probably not feel so lost either.

Of course he could swear once more that he would change if he was given another chance, but how many more would he need to really realize that he just couldn't keep going on like he was? _What else_ would he need? And did he only deserve it anyway, huh? When you saw how he had trashed all away so far, he honestly doubted it sometimes.

What was the point if he kept making the same mistakes again and again?

God, what the hell was he thinking? Of course he didn't deserve it, not after what he had put Bella through, but if he renounced again, he could as well go find the nearest tree and hang himself, because life was really not worth living without Bella.

So maybe he wasn't the man she wanted or needed, but he would cut himself an arm this time before giving up once more, and most of all now. Because if he hadn't been near her every other time she had needed him, he surely planned on being now, and he would be strong if only for her, no matter what it took. And after that, there would be no stopping him from getting his life back.

It wasn't too late for them yet. Not until he decided so. Or so he hoped, since he was well aware that maybe it was not entirely in his hands to make such a decision. Moreover with what had just happened.

But surely fate couldn't be that cruel and take her from him before he had a chance to try and make things right between them, could it?

A hoot behind him pulled Edward out of his thoughts and as he looked in front of him, he realized that the traffic had gone back to normal and that he could finally drive again.

The last mile was probably the longest of his life and as he parked his car not too far from the entrance of the hospital, he had to take a few seconds to collect himself.

He could do this, he repeated to himself. He could do this for Bella.

Exiting his car, he marched straight to the doors, ignoring how many times his body seemed to tell him he maybe should stop a second if he didn't want to keel over. Fear gripped his heart in a tight vice and seemed to squeeze the life out of it with each new step he took, but he refused to think about anything but Bella, waiting in there for him.

"Hi… I-I'm Edward Cullen… my… my wife… was admitted here in the afternoon… Isabella Cullen… S-Swan Cullen!" Edward stammered the instant he reached the nurses' counter and one of them looked up to see who had arrived.

"Oh… yeah…uh, just a minute… I-I'm going to call the doctor!" the nurse answered uncomfortably as she realized who he was and who he was coming for.

Of all the patients that had been admitted to the hospital, his wife was probably the worst case and she was certainly not looking forward to letting him know that.

"Is she alright?" Edward immediately inquired, needing to know at least that before anything else.

He knew that whatever doctor she wanted to call would certainly give him more details, but that could wait right now. Knowing how she was doing was the most important at that moment, therefore he was certainly not expecting the nurse to dismiss his question.

"It would be better if you waited for the doctor, Mr. Cullen!" she said, and Edward would have had to be blind not to see just how ill-at-ease she seemed to be.

"What? Why?… what is it? … WHAT?" he questioned impatiently and clearly panicked now.

What could be so wrong about Bella's condition that this nurse wasn't even able to answer such a simple question as the one he had just asked her? He had done his best to not think _too_ much about it on his way, knowing he would never make it to the hospital otherwise, but this was really freaking him out now.

"Mr. Cullen, if you would just wait a few minutes, Dr. Molina will answer all of your questions better than I could!" she continued and quickly moved to another desk, much farther from Edward, to make her call.

Edward looked at her suspiciously, his heart in his throat, and he couldn't help wondering if it was just to make him stop questioning her, or if there was really something she didn't want him to hear. After all there was a phone right in front of him, why did she need to go that far then?

While he waited for her to finish her call, his attention was drawn to a small television on his right, set on a local channel, and as he saw a News Report on an accident that apparently occurred in the afternoon in the area, he reached out to turn the volume up another notch. Then as the reporter gave details over the situation, he listened carefully and he immediately wondered if this could be related to what had happened to Bella in any way. It seemed very unlikely considering where and when it had happened, but he wanted to know nonetheless.

"Is-Is that the accident she was in?" he asked the nurse the instant she came back to tell him the doctor was on his way.

"Yes." she just said, thinking that she should have turned the TV off a long time ago.

She didn't think that on top of everything he was already going through, this man also needed a visual of the scene of the accident.

"She was on I405?" Edward went on, having a hard time understanding that point.

What would have Bella been doing on that road, at that moment? Where could she be going and why?

"Apparently…" the nurse responded uneasily.

Obviously her previous reply hadn't been something he had wanted to hear, if the face he was making was any indication.

"When… when did it happen?… I mean, how long has she been here?" Edward questioned next, already dreading her answer and what it would signify.

If it had been more than a few hours, then it could only mean that Bella hadn't gone to work and he couldn't help wondering if it had been because of what had happened between them in the morning, since Bella had never missed a day of work without a very valid reason. But if that was indeed why, that also meant that he was the only one responsible and he wasn't sure he was prepared to deal with that knowledge.

"A couple of hours." the nurse told him, but almost wished she hadn't when she suddenly saw fear distorting his features.

"A coup-… wait… what about my daughter?… the doctor didn't say anything about my daughter… it was Bella's turn to pick her up… does that mean she's here, too?… God… I-Is she okay?" Edward demanded almost in a squeal the second his brain registered all the implications of what she had just said.

Oh, dear Lord. Janelle. Until now he hadn't even had time to think about her, since no one had mentioned her so far and he had been too preoccupied over Bella to think about anything else, or even consider the fact that they could have been together. Maybe part of him had just not _wanted_ to in fact, because he knew he wouldn't survive if she had been hurt in any way, too, but if it had only been a couple of hours, that changed everything.

And now that he thought about it, how could he have not realized that before? If Bella hadn't been able to go and pick Janelle up, the school would have certainly tried to contact her, and then him when they would have been unable to join her, or even maybe his parents. But his mother would have certainly called him the instant she would have realized something had to have happened to Bella to not be able to go and get their daughter, and since she hadn't, it could only mean one thing.

"Uh… I …" the woman stuttered uncomfortably, only managing to increase Edward's apprehension.

"You _what_?" he urged her on, not caring if he sounded rude or not.

"I'm sorry but there is no other Cullen here beside your wife, sir…" she revealed almost inaudibly, knowing that he was certainly not going to like her answer. And how could she blame him? He seemed desperate to know what had happened with his wife and his daughter and she had no good answer to offer to him.

"What does that mean?" Edward demanded, his brain absolutely refusing to go over all the possibilities and one in particular. No he just couldn't think about that right now. Besides, the reporter had said that fortunately there had only been 'injured' people, he had no reason to panic then. Right?

"It-It means that if your daughter was with your wife when the accident happened, she hasn't been brought here." she admitted and braced herself for his reaction.

"And that's supposed to comfort me?" Edward threw back incredulously. Surely she couldn't believe that that piece of information could reassure him in any way, or that he was going to leave it at that.

He was more and more convinced that Janelle had been with Bella in the accident and if this woman was telling him now that she wasn't there, where else could she be? No, he needed to know what had become of his daughter and she better found a good answer to his questions or he perfectly felt like tearing the place down.

"No… yes… I mean… look, Mr. Cullen, I honestly don't have any information regarding your daughter… as far as I know Mrs. Cullen was alone when she was hit… but if she was not, I mean if your child was with her nonetheless, she wasn't admitted here with her, which can only mean that she wasn't badly hurt…" she rushed out when she noticed he wasn't far from snapping, but still her answer was a long way from satisfying Edward.

God, how she hated it when this kind of things happened. Why the heck had she chosen this job?

"And you know that how?" Edward wondered out loud. For all he knew Janelle could be anywhere, hurt and bleeding and no one seemed to be able to tell him where.

If she wasn't in this hospital, was someone attending to her nonetheless? Was she taken care of? God only knew what was happening to his baby while he wasted his time talking to this nurse.

"Because only severely injured people have been directed to our hospital… those who weren't have been taken to other hospitals in LA." the woman said more confidently this time.

Cedars Sinai Center had only taken all the important cases, people who needed to go through heavy surgery, while the other hospitals had catered for the minor fractures, cuts and wounds. So in the case of his daughter, it was actually a good thing she hadn't been taken along with her mother, even though they surely should have left them together no matter the circumstances. But she knew that in such situations, they only tried to deal with the most urgent matters first, they didn't always think about making it easier for the families unfortunately.

"But she could be hurt nonetheless!" Edward reasoned after hearing that.

Of course it helped to alleviate his fears a little, but still, he wanted to know what had happened to his daughter and what condition she could be in. It was bad enough that he had to wait to know more about Bella, he didn't know how much more of this torture he could take.

"Ye-Yeah… she could of course… but it would probably be nothing bad." she ventured carefully, sure that if she said more the man in front of her would just lose it.

"But how am I supposed to find her now?… and… and how come no one contacted me then?" Edward asked her, wondering how it was possible for him to have received no news. If he had been called concerning Bella, why hadn't anyone done the same for Janelle yet? There was something wrong here. So wrong.

"I don't know… I… maybe with all the people involved in the accident, they weren't able to contact everyone yet." she guessed, knowing by experience that it wouldn't be a first.

It actually happened more often than she would like it to, or was ready to admit. Unfortunately some of the other hospitals lacked means and they couldn't always take care of everything at the same time. Some were quickly overwhelmed in this type of situations and they gave priority to attending to the many patients they could receive at the same time, rather than contacting the families immediately.

It had taken them a while to call everyone, too, considering the extent of the accident, so she could only imagine what had happened in other hospitals.

"You said it has been a couple of hours already!" he argued right away. As far as he was concerned, that wasn't reason enough to not know a thing about his daughter's whereabouts.

No matter how many patients had been hospitalized at the same time as Janelle, weren't two hours enough to contact him, moreover when it wasn't even an adult they were talking about? How could they just leave a little girl, _his_ little girl, like this without trying to find someone of her family that could be there with her?

This was crazy and he was seriously losing patience here.

"I know that… but…" she trailed off, not knowing what more she could tell him, when suddenly another thought crossed her mind and she added quickly. "Or maybe she hasn't been identified yet… I mean since she and your wife have obviously been separated, maybe they don't have any ID for her…" she said, beholding nonetheless what she suspected.

She had a pretty good idea of why they had been separated, but telling him so would probably open the door to a lot more questions on his part, and she really didn't think she would be able to deal with him then. It was hard enough as it was to have to try and find answers to all his interrogations, she really didn't need more.

The last thing she expected then was to see Edward snap all of a sudden. When she was sure she had somehow managed to calm him some down, he unexpectedly became agitated again, refusing to believe any of her explanations could be right or true.

"No… no, it doesn't make any sense... Bella would have never let Janelle be taken anywhere without her… She didn't even have any reason to be on that road!" Edward countered tensely, reaching for his cell phone at the same time.

He would get to the bottom of this even if that was the last thing he did before breaking down. This _really_ didn't make any sense. He knew all too well that Bella would have fought tooth and nails to stay with Janelle, or before letting anyone take their daughter from her and even if he knew it was probably ridiculous, he needed to hold onto that. Onto anything in fact.

"Mr. Cullen… cell phones are not allowed inside the hospital… you can't call…" the nurse reprimanded him immediately when she saw his phone, but Edward at this point didn't give a damn about whatever rule she wanted him to follow. He was past caring about anything but knowing what was happening to his family.

"Like hell I won't!" he ignored her and immediately speed dialed his house number, not caring in the least if he looked like a demented to her, or if he blew up the whole place because of that phone call.

"Sir, please!" she insisted, even when she could clearly see that unless she went and grabbed the phone from his hands, he wouldn't stop.

"C'mon… come on, Bella, baby… pick up the phone… Jay… please…" Edward repeated over and over into the phone as he heard the incessant ringing tone.

Of course he knew that he was just being irrational since everything told him that Bella was indeed here, yet he couldn't help but hope that this was only some huge misunderstanding and that any second now he would hear her sweet voice or his daughter's answering the phone, and only then he would be able to breathe again.

But they never did and with each ringing sound that echoed in his ear, Edward felt his heart breaking a little more. Then as the answering machine picked up, tears filled his eyes and he choked back a sob when he heard Janelle's voice mixed with his and Bella's announcing that he had reached the Cullens but that they weren't home for the moment.

That message had been recorded not long after Janelle's fourth birthday and they had to redo it so many times he had lost count of them, just because she couldn't say the whole sentence without stumbling over the words or forgetting about something.

He still remembered when Bella had suggested they changed the previous one because she thought it was too formal, but how she had to almost pursue him so that he could find a moment to do it with them.

She had been upset with him every time he had told her he didn't have time for that, and that had certainly already been a sign of where they were heading. How could he have missed it? How could he have not seen what he was doing to them? How could he have been so stupid and let that happen to his family? And now he could lose everything that mattered in his life, before he even could have a chance to make up for all his mistakes.

How he wished he hadn't been so blind and how he wished he had done so many things differently.

But this time he had learned his lesson and he would change all that in the future. God, yes he would, if they could go through this.

"Mr. Cullen?" Edward suddenly heard a male's voice coming from behind him and as he turned around, he came face to face with a short dark-haired man wearing green scrubs and all the attire of the doctor. "Dr Molina." he said extending his hand to Edward.

"How is my wife?… and where is my daughter? Her name is Janelle… Janelle Cullen!" Edward snapped his cell shut but didn't bother with the introductions, having only one thing in mind at that moment.

"Your daughter?" lowering his ignored hand, the doctor repeated surprised and turned to the nurse who just shrugged uneasily, showing that she herself had no idea of the answer.

"Yes! She was with my wife… I mean, she must have been… but this nurse here is telling me that she's not here… how is that possible?" Edward explained once more, feeling his patience wearing thin.

"I don't know… are you sure they were together?" the man wondered, this being the first time he heard about the possibility of this man's daughter being in the accident as well. The only one he could give him news about was his wife and they weren't good at that.

"My wife was supposed to pick her up after school… so yes, they had to be together!" Edward enunciated through gritted teeth, fisting his hands at his sides to stop himself from doing something he might regret later, but nearly splitting his phone in two in the process.

"Your wife was brought here alone, Mr. Cullen… so maybe…" Dr Molina started but was stopped dead in his tracks by Edward's growled reply.

"I know that, dammit!" he all but shouted angrily, drawing on him the attention of the many people who were in the hall.

"Maybe your daughter is with some relatives then!" the doctor continued patiently, despite Edward's aggressive attitude.

He knew all too well that it was certainly only out of fear and concern that he was reacting that way. Besides, with all he was already going to have to endure, he surely didn't need to upset or anger him more because seriously, from what he was witnessing already, he wasn't sure this man could take much more of this as it was and he didn't even know the half of it yet.

"No… no, the only ones she could have left her with are my parents and they are not home, I already tried… besides, they would have informed me Janelle was with them… they always do! So where's my daughter?" Edward insisted, feeling like he was slowly but surely losing his head and like he would just kill someone soon if they weren't able to give him the information he wanted.

"I can't answer to that question, Mr. Cullen… I'm sorry… what I can do though is have someone contact the other hospitals and see where she is… if of course she was involved in the accident as well." Dr Molina proposed, ready to do anything in his power to help this man, if it only meant that it would calm him some down, or at least enough to be able to listen to what he had to tell him.

"God… I can't believe this… how can a five-year-old disappear like that? And how do you explain that no one contacted me about her?" Edward went on, still not believing that something like that could happen. And even less that it could happen to _Janelle_.

You just didn't disappear from the face of the Earth like that. Someone had to know where his daughter was, so what the hell were they doing, huh?

"Mr. Cullen, I suppose the nurse already informed you of that fact, but sometimes it's not easy to identify children, mostly because they rarely have any ID on them or even any phone number to call in case of emergency… your wife probably had the information for your child, but since they didn't stay together, it could explain the fact that you weren't contacted about your daughter!" the doctor reiterated, only even with more details, what the nurse had tried to tell him before, but still it didn't seem to be of any help. "Now, no child has been brought here, which is definitely a good thing… but if you give us a description of your daughter… or better yet a picture if you have one with you… we could fax it to the different hospitals and that way find out where she is." he finished with what he hoped would be a piece of good news for him, or at least as good as it could be in such dramatic circumstances.

"Yeah… you do that!" was the only thing Edward mumbled, before he reached for his wallet in search of a picture of Janelle.

However, before he could take one out, he saw the nurse reaching under her desk and coming up with a black object he recognized all too well, and this time he couldn't stifle a sob as reality crashed on him hard, the last doubts he could somehow still have had being automatically dispelled then.

"Uh… there's … there's one inside." she all but whispered, extending Bella's wallet for him to take.

She remembered being near her colleague when she had searched for the person to contact in case of emergency and how she had commented on how beautiful -and how could she not with the parents she had- that woman's daughter was or what a shame it was that such tragedy could happen to anyone. And now, knowing that that sweet little girl could have been with her mother when it had all happened, made her want to cry herself.

With trembling fingers Edward opened it to look inside, and his vision blurred when he was greeted with Bella and Janelle's smiling faces looking back at him. Seeing them so happy, so alive, was like a kick in the gut when right now, he didn't even know how they were. Would he only have the opportunity to see them like that again? And would he only survive it if he couldn't? He honestly didn't think so. He would just go stark crazy and die.

Under that first picture, he found one of Janelle alone and he handed it to the nurse who immediately went to look for the listing of the other hospitals numbers.

Edward then took a minute to look at the picture still in his hands and tenderly traced Bella's face with his thumb, before carefully putting her wallet in his pocket and finally plucking up the courage to ask what had been on his mind ever since he had received that fateful call.

"How… how's Bella?" the words stumbled out of his _own_ lips, he knew that, but for a second he wondered if he had really been the one to utter them, the voice he heard not being one he recognized himself.

"Maybe we should go and sit down first!" the doctor sighed quite heavily and put a hand on Edward's shoulder to lead him to a row of chairs on the side, but Edward instantly shrugged it off.

"What? No, god… just spit it out already! What is it? How is my wife?" Edward all but ordered him, becoming more and more aggravated with each passing second.

This couldn't be good. They were taking too much time, too many precautions, beating too much around the bush before letting him know what had happened with Bella and Edward couldn't fight the frightful feeling that had assailed him since he had arrived any longer.

"Okay… as you wish…" the dark-haired man agreed but pulled him aside nonetheless, not wanting everyone that would come near the counter to hear what he had to tell him. "Mr. Cullen, I won't lie to you… your wife suffered various injuries… and all are quite important… So far we have been able to diagnose several compound fractures, as well as a collapsed lung… she also has at least four broken ribs, and broke her left leg in two points…" he enumerated, then paused to let Edward take everything in. "However, the head trauma is the one that has us really worried."

Edward listened. He heard him. But he didn't comprehend what he was being said. It didn't make any sense to him. They had to be speaking about someone else. They just had to. It wasn't possible otherwise. Nothing of what he was saying was possible, because his Bella couldn't be in such a condition. Not when she was so full of life this morning. At worse, she was really pissed off at him, but beside that she was alright, wasn't she? She had to be. They hadn't finished that conversation yet. There was so much he still needed to tell her. How would he do that, if she couldn't even be in any state to listen to him?

And yet even as he thought the words, he knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer.

"Wait… I-I don't understand… what exactly ha-happened to her? I mean… how could she have been so badly hurt?… Did… Didn't the airbags protect her?… didn't they work or what?" Edward asked, even as he knew that was probably the stupidest thing he could have thought about at that moment, but it was as if his brain took the facts in alright, but simply refused to analyze them for him, or make him realize what it all meant.

Dwelling on inane facts seemed to be an easier task and so much less painful right now then. Yet as stupid as it was, Edward swore nonetheless that if the airbags hadn't worked when he had specifically made Bella buy a car that had front and lateral ones for her security and Janelle's, you could be freaking sure that he would sue the make dealer.

"If they had, your wife probably wouldn't be in such a critical state… but that's just it… she wasn't in the car when the accident happened." the doctor explained, leaving Edward gaping at him in confusion at this new piece of information.

"What? But you said it was a _car_ accident!" Edward stated completely bewildered and lost. What the hell was this man talking about?

"Your wife was driving on I405 when she apparently burst a tire and from what various witnesses reported, she started walking on the hard shoulder to try and call for help… or at least that's what is assumed… now as for the accident itself, what happened is that a driver who was more than slightly inebriated missed his exit and just tried to reverse out on the highway… causing therefore the accident when the other cars tried to avoid him…" he revealed and he had no doubt that the dumbfounded expression on the young man's face had to match the one he had worn himself when he had first been told. Accidents could happen of course, but when they were caused by the stupidity and carelessness of men, there was no excuse for that. "For the rest… as far as we know your wife was getting back to her own car when she was hit by another vehicle, hence the fact that she was more seriously injured."

"Oh, god!… oh, _god_!" Edward repeated again and again, bringing a hand to his mouth as he fought the urge to cry.

She was out. Bella was out and she was hit by a car. No bodywork to protect her. No airbags. No security belt. Nothing. Nothing at all.

Nightmarish visions of the scene popped inside his head one after another and the more he saw, the more nauseous he felt. Until he was struck with another thought.

"W-Wait a m-minute… you said earlier that she was in a 'critical' state. On the phone you said it was serious… just s-serious… are you trying to tell me now… god, does that mean that Bella could… that she could… _die_?" he questioned fearfully, his voice cracking completely on the last word.

As much as he had not wanted to think about it before, the new elements he had now painted another picture and all pointed out to the fact that this was clearly a possibility, no matter how much he dreaded it or loathed the thought.

"Again, I have to be honest with you, Mr. Cullen… at this point, nothing can be predicted with clear certainty… we can only hope for a full recovery of course, and we have the best doctors of this hospital taking care of her but… but there is no guarantee… I'm sorry." the man admitted, but his own voice faltered slightly when he caught the look a pure torture and agony on Edward's face.

"C-Can I see her?" was the only thing Edward could ask as he heard the other man basically telling him that he could perfectly lose Bella today. For good.

In such circumstances then, all he wanted was to be by her side and never leave her. He didn't want to be told there was a great chance that she wouldn't make it. He didn't want to talk about everything that wasn't right with her. He just wanted to be with her, and make the most of each second.

Tears rolled down his cheeks and he valiantly brushed them away with the sleeve of his jacket, but there was no way he could hide his complete misery. He didn't need more than to glimpse the look of pity in the other man's eyes to know that.

"Your wife is still currently going through surgery and due to the many injuries she sustained, it could take some time, unfortunately, before you'll be allowed to see her." the doctor denied his request since there was absolutely no way for him to do otherwise, but at the same time he knew that it was certainly better this way, since there were still some things they needed to talk about. "I think in the meantime, there are a few points we should discuss though… Actually, two things you should know before seeing her."

"What else? What more could there be, huh?" Edward snorted almost comically, not believing that anything could be any worse than what he had already been hit with.

If he only knew.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this…" the man started and Edward honestly thought that if he had to hear him say he was sorry just one more time, he would surely snap and punch him square in the face.

He was sorry? Well, what kind of comfort was that supposed to be to him? He didn't give a damn. He was in hell, there weren't enough 'sorry' on this Earth to make up for what he was going through.

He was so busy cursing the man and his pseudo sympathy that he almost missed his next words. Almost. Not that they made any sense anyway.

"But before allowing you to go and see her, it's my obligation to tell you that your wife is… barely recognizable right now." he let out at last, even if he wished with all his might there was a way to skip that part.

But it wasn't as if that was a fact that could be hidden from him. Even with her papers they had barely been able to identify her, then he couldn't very well let him go into his wife's room, if she made it and got out of surgery still breathing of course, just hoping he would not notice or not be shocked by the sight.

"Ba-Barely recognizable?" Edward parroted, like he wasn't sure he had heard him right or just understood him.

Barely recognizable? What the hell did that mean? Surely not what he was thinking.

"I'd have liked to spare you the details of the accident, but you have to know that after being hit by the car, she was thrown against the windshield and then practically sent hurtling to the ground… the shock unfortunately caused some major injury to part of her face…" the man in front of him divulged much to Edward's horror, already making him feel sick to the core with the few words he said, but what he heard next was the last straw. "However you don't have to worry… with plastic surgery, most patients usually recover pretty nicely."

"I don't have to worry?… I don't… are you fucking kidding me?… you're basically telling me that my wife, what?… was… _is_ partially di-disfigured… is that it?… and I shouldn't worry?… are you for real?" Edward burst out furiously and looked at him with such a disgusted and angry expression, it gave the doctor chills.

Obviously that was the last thing he should have said, though he had thought that he would like to know and that it would help him absorb the shock of the news. But apparently it didn't reassure him in any way. And in a way it was pretty normal, but nonetheless he honestly thought that he should be more preoccupied about his wife's general condition than about that facial injury. After all they were in LA and had the best and most renowned plastic surgeons, so that was something they would be able to work on later, though saying that just like he had was maybe not the best way to do it and not the most intelligent thing he could have done.

"Mr. Cullen…" he tried, hoping he could save the situation and make the young man understand that he hadn't meant to disrespect him or his wife, but was only trying to bring him some comfort since he already had to deal with so much.

"Don't Mr. Cullen me!… I don't know who you think you are… or-or how you can even call yourself a doctor but… jeez… _fuck_ it…" Edward shouted out, but stopped before he could say anything else or very well threaten the other man's life, even if at that moment the doctor truly believed that it wouldn't be long nonetheless before he would actually launch himself at him. But then, unexpectedly, he shook his head repeatedly and pointing a finger at him, went on again.

"No, I… you know what… I'm not doing this with you… I won't… I-I want to see someone else…" Edward demanded, knowing that there was no way he could go through with this conversation without killing the man or hurting him badly.

"Mr. Cullen… this has nothing to do with me… any other doctor would tell you the exact same thing… I wish I could tell you what you obviously want to hear… but I'm not here for that and even less to lie to you… I'm only trying to give you as much information as I can, so you'll be prepared to what you'll have to face sooner or later!" the man announced almost too condescendingly, but realized his mistake when he saw Edward swirl around and punch the wall near them, the angry gesture making him take a careful step back.

He then heard him mumble incoherent words, distinguishing only the numerous curses he expelled and which he was convinced were all addressed to him, but he decided to let him rant all he wanted since he was sure that was something he surely needed.

It took him a while, but after a moment Edward seemed to get some sense of calmness back and slowly turned around to face the man, who with each word he spoke, was destroying his life a little more.

"What else should I know?… I mean, you said, _two_ things." Edward questioned after a long moment of silence, during which the doctor saw him take deep but uneven breaths and repeatedly pinch the bridge of his nose.

The way he uttered the words, though, showed him just how reluctant and scared he truly was to ask him about anything else, even if he also knew he had no choice.

He took a moment himself before answering, bracing himself for what he knew was coming to him, considering how the man had reacted so far, but it wasn't as if he could keep anything secret from him. As a doctor it was his obligation to give him all the details he could about the situation, no matter how much he hated being the one to do so right now.

"Yes… uh… this is probably one of the hardest things that can happen, and I guess there is no way to say that but to just come out and say it…" he started hesitantly, taking even more precaution now than he had before.

"Oh, god!" Edward grumbled, threading his fingers though his hair and gripping it with force.

God, would it ever stop? How much more of this would he have to endure, huh? He couldn't do this anymore. No, he just couldn't.

He just wanted to go home now. He wanted to see Bella. To tell her he was an idiot. To take her into his arms and beg her on hands and knees if he had to, to take him back. And most of all, he wanted to forget about the last few months. Forget about this nightmarish day and go back to normal. When everything was perfect and Bella was safe and sound between his arms.

Yes, in his arms. Where she belonged and where he could protect her, and nothing of what he was being told could happen to her.

But obviously none of his wishes were about to be granted.

"You don't know how I regret it, but I unfortunately have to inform you that when the paramedics arrived, it was already too late for the baby… I mean, there wasn't anything they could have done…" the doctor revealed, feeling really bad for this man who could very well lose his wife today, but was now informed as well that he had already lost his unborn child.

"B-Baby?" Edward croaked out, swaying backwards at the word and feeling the room spin out of control around him.

A baby?

His breath left him in a whoosh, his stomach tied in knots just at the thought and he barely resisted the urge to spill his guts just there, in front of the doctor. At that point, he honestly believed that if the man had just taken a sledgehammer and beaten him up with it, he wouldn't have hurt him more. Nothing could.

No. NO. There had to be a mistake. There couldn't be any baby because that would mean… no, _god_, he didn't even want to acknowledge what it would mean. He just couldn't.

"Y-You didn't know?" Dr Molina realized in sheer horror and immediately started to apologize. "God… I'm sorry this is how you had to learn about it, but… your… your wife was apparently a few weeks pregnant." he said regretfully, seriously thinking that this man was cursed or something.

He had seen a lot of things happen and a lot of cases during all the years he had been practicing, but having to go through so much at a time was hardly humanly bearable. It rarely happened fortunately, but still when it did, he still didn't know how to react or how to comfort the poor people to whom such tragedies happened.

What were you supposed to say anyway? Nothing would probably be enough to compensate for what they had just lost.

But then, on the other hand, he thought that in his misfortune, maybe the fact that he hadn't known before and therefore hadn't had the opportunity to rejoice over the arrival of this baby could be a good thing, or as good as it could be considering the drama it was.

"No… no, it c-can't be… no, she-she can't… y-you're lying… God, no… this is not happening…" Edward cried out and bit into his fist, nearly drawing blood as he did.

No, she wouldn't do that. Bella wouldn't do that to him. She couldn't have, he kept repeating to himself, but the more he tried to convince himself, the less he believed it.

Everything he knew, everything he heard, from his conversation with Bella this morning, to what he was being said now, told him she had, so how could he still doubt it?

"I-I'm sorry for you loss, sir… and I understand what you…" the doctor started, but was instantly pinned with a glare that made him suck in an audible breath and prevented him from finishing his sentence.

"You understand? … Oh, you think you _understand_… is it _your_ wife in there?…" Edward exploded fiercely, pointing to the doors that apparently led to the operating rooms, just before he advanced menacingly towards the other man, his voice becoming louder and louder with each utterance that escaped his lips. "Did you just learn that _your_ wife lost her baby… a baby you didn't even know about until now?… is _your_ daughter… _your_ only child, missing? … I don't think so, so don't fucking tell me you understand the first thing about what I can be feeling right now!" he finished yelling, angry tears brimming his eyes and his whole body trembling.

Of course he knew he was lashing out on the wrong person here, but it seemed easier to do so than to face the reality of the situation. There was so much pain in him, so much grief and anger, he just knew he would literally burst out from the inside out if he didn't let it out somehow.

This couldn't be happening to him. This just couldn't be happening, he told himself again and again, feeling his world slowly coming to an end.

"Mr. Cullen, everyone here is trying to help… so maybe you're right… we may not understand what you're going through but we're doing our best considering the situation… now, you really need to calm down… this is a hospital, and we can't have you disturbing…" the doctor tried to pacify him as he cast an embarrassed glance around them and saw some of the nurses looking at the scene they were creating, but he was quickly cut off by Edward again.

"Disturbing? You've got to be fucking kidding me!" he growled before dragging a hand over the length of his face and grimacing in obvious pain as he tried to collect himself. But there was nothing to do. No way he could keep quiet or stay calm. Not after this. "I'll show you disturbing!" he then mumbled, ready to show him what disturbing his precious hospital meant, when something caught his eyes behind the other man's short figure and he forgot how to breathe.

There, barely a few feet from them, getting out of a room and coming in his direction, he saw a young man, maybe in his early thirties, being almost dragged by two policemen in uniforms. The sight wouldn't have been surprising to him and he wouldn't have paid much attention to that fact if he hadn't noticed the man was handcuffed, or the way he seemed to stumble over his feet, like walking behind them was taking a great effort on his part.

Like he was too drunk to walk.

His blood ran cold and it hit him like a ton of bricks. _He_ was there. The bastard responsible for all his misery was just there, in front of him. Edward knew it like he knew his own name. And he stood there, hardly injured, with what?… barely a scratch, maybe a few cuts here and there, when his Bella was fighting for her life in this same hospital.

Well, that wouldn't last long.

"Is that him?… Is that the fucker who caused all this?" Edward demanded, gritting his teeth and already clenching his fists. The man was dead meat and he didn't know it yet.

With incredible slowness, Dr Molina turned around to see what he was looking at, and he gasped when he saw the two policemen handcuffing their prisoner to a chair and entering the restroom together.

They surely thought him inoffensive, and in the state he still seemed to be, there was no doubt in his mind as well that he wouldn't be causing them much trouble even if left alone, but the man near him, that was another story.

At first he hadn't understood the murderous gleam sparking in his eyes, or why it looked like his jaws would just snap if he didn't unclench them and soon, but now he would have to be completely blind, or stupid, to not realize what was about to happen. And the worst part was that he didn't think there would be anything to do to stop it.

God, hadn't he thought when told that they were taking that man to his hospital, when he wasn't even badly injured, that it was a very bad idea? He could feel it even then, and he hadn't even suspected what he so knew was going to occur now. But when he had commented on that fact, he had only been told that it was just a question of security, since Cedars Sinai was not only closer but was better equipped as well.

Yeah, right. Like that man was any real threat or in any condition to try and escape anyway.

"Oh, god…" he muttered before he could stop himself, and Edward didn't need to hear more to have his answer.

"It is, isn't it?" was all he said before he bypassed the other man and marched straight forward, his anger taking uncontrollable proportions with each step he took.

He could honestly have laughed at seeing the two officers leaving him unguarded. If they only knew. That was just what he needed. Not that it would have changed anything, but still.

Well, apparently that was the only favor he was going to be granted today and Edward took it as a sign that what he was about to do was the right thing to do. He didn't need to question it in fact. Even if that man hadn't been the one to directly hit Bella with his car, all this was his only fault and now he would have to respond for that.

"Mr. Cullen… no!" the doctor yelled after him, but Edward didn't pay any attention to him. It was already too late. There was no stopping him. "Call security! Now!" he ordered a nurse and took off behind Edward.

The poor intoxicated driver was just sitting there, not even really aware of his surroundings since the only thing he wanted now was to find a comfy bed where he would be able to rest and sleep it off, when he heard the first '_bastard_' echoing in the hall. Yet he didn't have time to react in any way, or even really wonder if the man that was nearly face to face with him now was really talking to him or why, before he was violently lifted up from his chair and pinned against the wall behind him.

"You fucking bastard…" Edward spat into his face, hatred distorting his features.

"What the fu…" the man stuttered, completely disoriented and of course, tried to push his attacker away, but even an army wouldn't have been enough to make Edward let go of him.

Seeing him struggling actually only succeeded in pissing Edward off even more and he all but threw him to the floor before he pounced on him.

"I'm gonna kill you… you're already dead… you son of a bitch…" he threatened as his fist connected with the other man's jaw for the first time.

Behind him, he vaguely heard Dr Molina desperately yelling his name and begging him to stop, he felt his hands on his shoulders as he tried to make him let go, but there was no way he could comply. He was like a man possessed and he wouldn't stop until he would have exactly what he wanted.

The man under him screamed in pain as Edward kept beating him up and even tried to crawl out of his reach, but with one of his arms still attached to the now upturned chair, all he managed to do was turn it out at a weird angle and possibly dislocating his shoulder.

Edward didn't care about his pleading cries. He didn't care about the shouts coming from the hall behind him, or the many hands that were now grasping at him everywhere they could in a futile effort, he just wanted this man to suffer.

He wanted him to experience what he was going through himself right now. He wanted him to feel like he was only a hair from losing his life, because he felt like he had already lost his.

Dr Molina and the two policemen who had gotten out of the restroom almost as soon as they had heard the commotion caused in the hall, pulled and pushed at him with all their might but nothing made Edward budge. He struggled against them and each and every time managed to hit again.

"Look at me… how could you?… how could you do that to her?… how could you hurt her?" Edward gripped the drunk driver's chin and forced him to look back at him but when he did, it only increased his fury.

How dared he look scared, or completely lost? How dared he look like he didn't even know why this was happening to him? How could he, after what he had done?

His fist kept descending on the man's face any angle it could with hands trying to hold his arm back, and Edward didn't even hear the sound of broken bones when he finally managed to break his nose, nor did he notice the blood spurting from the wounds he inflicted and marring his white shirt now.

All he could see was Bella's broken and bleeding body, lying lifelessly on the side of the road and Janelle lost somewhere, calling for a father who couldn't come to her because he didn't know where she was.

All he could feel was the tremendous rage that boiled inside his veins, consumed him literally and compelled him, '_ordered_' him to make the man that could have possibly destroyed his family, destroyed his whole life, pay for his crimes.

And pay he would, he would make sure of that even if that was the last thing he did.

"Die, you fucker… I'm gonna kill you!" Edward mercilessly pummeled his head and growled, not feeling the strain in his arm or the pain in his hand.

Not needing a whole picture of the situation and even only with the shouts and the pleas they heard, the two uniformed men understood that obviously this man who was beating their charge to a pulp was some victim's relative, just like they understood the obvious pain he was in, but nonetheless they couldn't just let him continue without doing a thing. And since the leather material of Edward's jacket made it almost impossible for them to have a good hold on him and restrain him, they weren't left with much choice if they didn't want this to end in a bloodbath.

"No one's… gonna kill anyone here…" one of them got his truncheon out and passing it between Edward and the poor object of his uncontrollable ire, pulled as best as he could, hoping that it would be enough to make him loosen his grip on the other man, or at least give them time to get him out from under him.

"I will…" Edward grunted in response, as he was forced to momentarily release the man. "If she dies, _you_ die… I swear it… I'll kill you myself!… you can count…" pointing a finger at the lying form on the floor, he then swore but was stopped mid-sentence when the two officers nearly jumped on him and succeeded in temporarily immobilizing him.

However, Edward didn't let that deter him. Fighting back, he managed to untangle himself and before the doctor could even help the other man up, or attend to him in any way, Edward was already on him again.

"Edward… let him go… God, just let him go!" this time, even through the fog that clouded his mind, Edward recognized the familiar voice and faltered slightly, though it wasn't enough to make him obey the command and they all saw him deliver still another blow.

"He deserves to die!" he groaned thickly as now three pairs of hands nearly lifted him up and pushed him off the almost unconscious man.

"Edward… stop it… it's me… just stop it, dammit!" Jasper growled hoarsely as Edward kept trying to escape the firm grip he had on him now and nearly tripped them both to the floor. "Edward… Edward… calm down…" he continued, but his plea seemed to fall on deaf ears. Edward was too far gone to listen to him.

Jasper had been still at work himself when Edward had called him and at first he hadn't understood a word of what he was trying to tell him. It had just been a flow of incoherent words thrown frantically over the line and he had had to ask him to breathe and calm down so he would get what he was saying.

It had seemed like forever to him until Edward had been able to do so, but when he had and had managed to tell him Bella had been in an accident and that he wanted him to meet him at the hospital, Jasper couldn't get out of his office fast enough either.

He didn't know what he had been expecting when arriving, though, but it was surely not the scene he was greeted with here.

When he had approached the nurses' counter, he had of course been aware of the fuss down this same hall, but never in his craziest dreams would he have imagined that it could be his best friend causing it.

So, it would be like the understatement of the year to say he had been surprised when he had asked for Edward and Isabella Cullen and two nurses had pointed out to that mass of men who seemed to be doing a human pyramid, with just a '_over there_' and '_that's the man who caused the accident_' for all explanation.

But how could he not? For as long as he had known him, Edward had always been the first to say that violence was never the answer, yet here he was ready to beat the man to death apparently.

Now, Jasper didn't think he had ever seen Edward this furious or out of control, but then, his wife had never been nearly killed by what was apparently, from the heavy smell that emanated from him, a drunk driver before either. And of course who could blame him for his reaction? No one. But the poor guy seemed to be done for already as far as he could see, so what Edward was doing now only seemed to be a waste of time and energy.

Or so he thought, but for Edward it was still not enough. It couldn't be enough.

That asshole was still alive. He was still breathing when he had no right to. Not after what he had done to his Bella.

"Let me go… let me fucking go, Jasper!" Edward screamed and thrashed, but Jasper was stronger than him this time, and he was feeling so tired. So, so tired.

He saw one of the officers freeing the driver from his handcuffs, but still he refused to give up and since he couldn't use his arms anymore, he went for the next best thing.

Just as Dr Molina and a nurse, helped by two security guards who had arrived in the meantime, were trying to prop the now profusely bleeding driver to his legs, Edward arched completely up under Jasper's and one of the policemen's holds and kicked the man as hard as he could, managing to momentarily cut his air supply and make him lose his balance again.

Jasper, who saw the whole thing, would have probably laughed at seeing Edward going all Jean Claude Van Damme on the guy and nearly breaking his own neck in the process if the situation hadn't been so dramatic, but all idea of smiling or anything close to that left him as soon as he took in what was happening around him now.

"Okay… that's it young man… you're under arrest!" having had it with him, one of the officers pushed Edward violently against the wall behind him, knocking the air out of him with the unexpected move, and was already reaching for his handcuffs before Jasper could even react.

"What? No… c'mon… you can't do that… that man nearly killed his wife!" he yelled, horrified and outraged, as he saw him grabbing for Edward's arm and handcuffing it behind his back.

"And he nearly killed him!" the other man just stated, refusing to back down, though there was no saying how much he loathed having to do this.

No matter how justified his actions seemed to be to him, enough was enough. And if there weren't any other ways to calm him down, this would surely do the trick.

But apparently it was only wishful thinking on his part, since it soon became quite obvious that Edward wasn't going to be of any help here. Much to Jasper's dismay who couldn't believe that he didn't realize it was time to give up if he didn't want to be in even more trouble than he probably already was, Edward still went for more.

"I'm gonna sue your ass… and pray to whoever you want you won't ever get out of jail, because help me God if you do, I'll fucking kill you!" he promised and gritted menacingly, even when he was face down first into the wall, and desperately tried to turn around. They weren't finished yet, not by a long shot.

"Shut up, Edward!" Jasper growled, before addressing the officer again. God, why did he have to make this so difficult? "C'mon, man… he doesn't mean it… and I-I've got him now… I'll take care of him… now, just get that man out of his sight and everything will be alright!" Jasper pleaded Edward's case, hoping he could convince the other man to release him, though if he was honest the only thing he wanted was to actually help Edward take that bastard down. But contrary to what Edward apparently seemed to be thinking right now, he knew all too well that it wouldn't solve anything in the end.

"It's okay… let him go…" the second policeman told his partner after a short reflection, but still the one holding Edward took a minute to make his own decision.

Part of him wanted to arrest the young man for what he had just done, but a greater part of him understood him more than he would like to admit. After all, he was pretty much sure that he would have probably reacted the same way if it had been his wife, or any other member of his family who was concerned. But could he really take the risk of letting him go?

Looking back and forth between the restrained man and who he assumed was his friend, he came to the conclusion that the blond-haired guy would probably know better how to deal with him than any of them could and so he slowly took the handcuffs off, hoping this wasn't a mistake.

He almost groaned out loud, though, when as soon as he did, he had to pin Edward against the wall again. Boy, he really should have known better. This man would obviously stop at nothing until he would have what he was searching for, but he was highly mistaken if he thought he would let him do what he wanted.

"Stop it, okay!" he hissed into his ear and pressed his weight against his back once more.

Edward fought back at first of course but then pretended to calm down long enough to make sure he would let him go, only to launch forward again, spewing threats and colorful insults the instant he was free.

Jasper stepped between him and the doctor and few nurses who were now helping the beaten driver to lie on a stretcher, and valiantly blocked his path, even if he nearly got hit by one angry fist in the process.

"Edward… back off now…" he advised, sure that he wouldn't be given a second chance and would just finish the night in a cell if he didn't calm right down. But Edward obviously couldn't care less about that, or simply refused to believe it could really happen.

He then looked pleadingly at the two policemen, silently making them understand that if they wanted this to end, now would be the right time to get that man out of there, and was glad when they complied. He honestly didn't know how much longer he would be able to hold Edward back.

Who would have thought that guy could be so strong when he was pissed, huh?

"I WILL KILL YOU… I WILL!" Edward kept screaming, as he saw the man being wheeled toward the end of the hall and even tried to once more sidestep Jasper, who had to tackle him so that he wouldn't follow them and continue what he had started.

"Fuck it, Edward… stop it or I swear…" Jasper menaced, seriously considering resorting to force himself now if he had to, to stop this man he didn't even recognize anymore.

"Fuck _you_!" Edward spat out venomously and pushed him backwards, before swinging his fist only an inch from his friend's face.

"This is not helping Bella… don't you see it?" Jasper dodged it and yelled at last, expelling a relieved sigh afterwards when he saw recognition finally flicker in Edward's tormented eyes at the mention of Bella's name.

That was all it actually took.

Stopping dead on his tracks, trembling, exhausted, Edward dropped to his knees and as reality caught up on him, he felt sick to the core all over again.

Looking down at his now shaking hands, he really noticed the blood for the very first time. Blood everywhere. On his bruised fingers. On his shirt. Some soiling his jeans.

The sight turned his guts upside down and made him gag on his own saliva and soon he felt bile rise in his throat.

Under the horrified stares of nurses, security guards, and every people having assisted to the scene, he retched heavily, coughing and sobbing at the same time. And then he just lost it.

In his tortured mind, it was Bella's blood he had on his hands and he was just as responsible for her fate as that man was. He had maybe not driven that car or caused the accident, but he was sure that he had been the one to lead her to it.

"Oh, god… Bella… Bellaaa… BELL-LLAAA!"

His heart wrenching cries abruptly pierced the sudden awkward quietness that had fallen on the place and the whole hospital seemed to freeze at the sound.

Jasper watched, powerless, as his best friend dissolved into tears and as his own eyes welled up as well, he fought to swallow past the huge lump in his throat.

And then he just knew.

As long as he would live, he would never forget the sight of Edward Cullen on his hands and knees, bawling his heart out, his shirt a mess, his face a mask of excruciating pain, blood dripping from his knuckles on the immaculate white tile floor of that hospital, and howling like a wounded animal.

No one present ever would.

**TBC…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.f

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer**: See first parts.

**AN** : I was ready to go to bed when I realized that I would probably not be able to post tomorrow since I'm leaving for a school trip with my students really early in the morning and I'll be coming back late, so just to be safe… here is a new chapter… just be a little more patient and most of your questions will be answered in next chapter! just one more day to wait so!

In the meantime, feel free to comment and give me your hypothesis concerning Bella's mysterious baby's father! :) (like Pink says, '_I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of really anything!'_… but keep trusting me nonetheless! :) I promise the emotional rollercoaster with soon be finished!)

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

For the umpteenth time, Jasper's eyes drifted to his right and settled on his friend and he inwardly cursed once more for not being able to find the words that could help him. He had never been one to talk or express himself easily, and comforting people was definitely not his forte, but for once in his life, he really wished he had the ability.

He couldn't even imagine what Edward could be going through right now, for he knew all too well that whatever he could come up with would still be too far from the reality. And he couldn't even try to just put himself in Edward's shoes, if only because he didn't know what you felt when you loved someone as much as he knew Edward could love Bella, so he didn't know either what you felt when you were so close to losing that person who meant so much to you.

He just wished Edward could talk about what he was feeling right now, it would sure be better than closing off like he had, but so far, ever since his impressive breakdown nearly an hour ago, Edward hadn't said another word and Jasper was sure it couldn't be good in any way.

After all the time and patience it had taken to calm him down, he had certainly not expected him to react this way. He had been so hysterical then actually that one nurse had even suggested sedating him, thinking that that would be the only solution.

It wasn't so much because of the scene he had been creating then, or all the incoherent things he had being screaming during his collapse, but more for his own security. Jasper was sure that at one point, the staff had really believed that Edward was going to hurt himself, or do something really stupid. And he had, too, honestly, even if he had thought that he could probably not do worse than what he had already done, but at least then he had still looked alive.

He had moved willingly of course, when Doctor Molina had suggested that they waited down the hallway that led directly to the operating rooms and where Edward would be closer to Bella, but now even if he was clearly breathing and Jasper could see him still reacting to the noise around him every time someone entered or exited through the doors near them, he really felt like Edward wasn't even there with him anymore and he didn't like it one bit. It was just too scary, seeing his friend like this and it filled him with a really uneasy feeling.

Everything seemed just so unfair to him right then. Edward certainly didn't deserve this, and Bella even less. Yet here they were, both of them, Bella fighting for her life and Edward probably fighting some inner demons he was the only one to see. Jasper wished with all his might that there were something he could do for them, something more efficient than just standing there, waiting for news that weren't coming, but right now he was just as powerless as Edward or anyone else and he knew their fate was in the hands of those doctors, who were desperately trying to save Bella's life.

In all honesty, he hadn't realized just how close to the truth he had been earlier when he had told that policeman that their charge had nearly killed Edward's wife, and he had surely not been prepared to hear about how many injuries she had sustained. Before it had only been a means to let them go of Edward, now though, he was convinced that it was really nothing short of a miracle if Bella was still alive. But for how long, that was the question that really needed an answer to.

Not so surprisingly so and after having been informed of the real circumstances of the accident and the gravity of Bella's condition, Jasper could understand better why Edward had been ready to murder the other guy. He would have done the exact same thing in similar situation.

Ray Sullivan, that was his name from what he had heard. A name none of them would certainly ever forget.

Once Edward had stopped crying and screaming, Jasper had managed to prop him into a chair and then had gone to see if he could have more information concerning Bella's state, but instead he had heard the two policemen talking about their prisoner and he couldn't help but eavesdrop.

From what he had gathered, this Ray guy was quite known by the police authorities and it wasn't the first time he was arrested for driving under influence. Only he had been lucky enough to never injure anyone, at least to this day.

The weird thing was that, beside his obvious problem with alcohol, that man seemed as normal as anyone else. He had a job, a wife, and even a baby on the way, but now Jasper guessed that he would have to get used to seeing his first born behind a Plexiglas window before being able to hold it after this, because if he had taken anything seriously of what Edward had said, it was definitely his promise to sue the guy.

No matter what happened next, he didn't doubt that Edward would make sure that man wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else ever again, and if Edward didn't himself, then chances were that Carlisle Cullen would for him. In any case, it was going to be long before Ray Sullivan would ever touch a steering wheel again, sober or not.

He would have to get out of there first anyway, and that wasn't done yet either. If Jasper had still had any doubt about how enraged Edward had been, hearing about all the injuries he had inflicted on the other man had surely dispelled them all at once.

Not that he was going to pity him, far from it, but Edward had certainly not missed many hits: in addition to the broken nose Jasper had already suspected about, Edward had also broken one of his arms, though that was probably more due to the position he had been in and the fact that he had been handcuffed to the chair all the while than to the force of his blows, he had dislocated his shoulder blade as well, broken two of his ribs and made him lose, at least partly, a few teeth.

That last was probably what had caused Edward's own injuries, Jasper thought. It wasn't anything really bad, just a few cuts on his knuckles, most likely caused when Edward had punched his face, but it had been enough to make him bleed and need to be taken care of. Not that Edward had seemed to notice himself, since he hadn't even batted an eyelash when one of the nurses had cleaned the small wounds and bandaged his hand.

He hadn't reacted at all either when Jasper had given him more information concerning the drunk driver's identity or his state, but that wasn't surprising. Edward certainly couldn't care less about what could happen to him, which was completely understandable.

If he couldn't read his mind, Jasper was sure nonetheless that there was only one thing he was able to think about, Bella, and he knew that he wouldn't go completely back to his normal self until he would know exactly how she was doing.

In the meantime, Jasper was willing himself to be as patient as he could, but really, this silence was starting to get on his nerves and if he didn't do something and fast, he would probably go crazy himself. That was certainly why he took the first opportunity he could get to finally put an end to this straining situation. Or at least he tried.

"Do you want something?… anything?" he asked, when a noise behind him caused Edward to turn to him and their eyes consequently met.

_Yeah, I want my life back. I want to see my wife. And I want to see her alright. I want someone to tell me this is only a nightmare and that everything's gonna be okay_, Edward thought bitterly but kept his words for him, aware that no matter what he could say, Jasper wouldn't be able to give him what he needed more than anything else right now. He unfortunately did not have that power, so instead of answering, he just lowered his gaze and shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"Do you want to talk?" Jasper tried again, even when he knew it was an inane question, since it was all too obvious to him that that was certainly the last thing Edward wanted to do. But just maybe, if he kept speaking to him, he would react at last and anything at this point was better than nothing at all.

Only once more Edward just shook his head negatively and any hope Jasper had to see him opening up to him and expressing himself all but flew out the window.

"Edward… we should really talk about this, you know… you can't just keep everything bottled up inside!" he sighed and insisted nevertheless, even though he was sure it would be useless.

Edward could be really stubborn when he wanted and now was obviously one of those times.

Of course, Edward knew he was right, but what was he supposed to say? He knew it would probably do him some good to express what he was feeling, but the truth was he didn't even know where to begin. His mind was a jumble of thoughts right now, had been ever since he had taken that phone call hours ago in fact, and he couldn't even sort them all out himself.

"Edward?" Jasper called out to him once more when he kept ignoring him, noting himself the desperation in his voice, but not caring about it more than that at the moment.

If sounding or looking desperate was what it took, if that was the only way to bring his friend to talk to him, then so be it. He would _beg_ him to speak to him even, if he wasn't so convinced it wouldn't work.

That was probably why after he threw him a sideway glance, Jasper was so surprised to see him standing up and moving to the huge double doors in front of them and that led directly to Bella, and even more to eventually hear his voice.

"She was pregnant!" Edward breathed out softly and out of the blue, having a hard time believing himself he was actually really saying it, or even just starting by that.

Yet it was the only thing he could still think about. The only clear thing in his mind, beside the fact that Bella was fighting for her life only a few feet away.

"Who? Bella? But how?… I mean, I thought that…I-I don't…" Jasper stuttered incredulously, sure that he had either heard him wrong, or not gotten what he meant, because clearly he couldn't be talking about Bella.

He knew all too well that Bella and Edward had not been '_physically_' together in months and that it wasn't going so well between them even before that, so it didn't make any sense to him. Unless of course… but no, that was so not a possibility. Or was it?

Edward for his part wasn't even surprised to see Jasper looking at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face, he was sure he would have a hard time believing what he was about to tell him, considering so far he had never really given Jasper the real reason he and Bella weren't together any longer. He had just said they weren't getting along anymore, and Jasper not really being one to butt into your business if he saw you didn't want to really talk about it, at least when he understood it was really serious, he hadn't asked for more. Which suited Edward just fine at the time. But now though, considering what he had just said, he knew he couldn't keep hiding the truth any longer.

"It was n-not mine!" he admitted, his voice thick with emotion he was unsuccessfully trying to hide and so low Jasper was sure he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't stood up as well and hadn't been so close to him when he spoke.

Despite himself and how brave he was trying to be, Edward swallowed up audibly the instant the words were out and he felt the bile rising up in his throat once more.

There was certainly nothing harder for him than to acknowledge that fact and he would have surely rather swallowed broken glass than to have to say that much out loud. Yet it didn't change anything to the cruel and hard reality. A few hours ago, Bella had probably been happy with the knowledge that she was expecting again… and the baby was not _his_.

"Oh…_oh_… man, I-I'm sorry!" Jasper just uttered after minutes just blinking at Edward and staying with his mouth agape, what he had just learned being surely the last thing he had expected to hear today.

It seemed kind of stupid in fact to even say as much, but truth was he didn't know what to tell him. He was simply and completely shell shocked.

Bella. Pregnant. And Edward was _not_ the father. Well, that brought a new light on a lot of things, but god… Bella, the Bella he thought he knew, going behind Edward's back and cheating on him, even making a baby with another man, that just seemed so totally inconceivable. No matter what.

"She… she lost it… but you know what… it wouldn't have made any difference to me… it-it _doesn't_… and even knowing that she… that she…" not needing Jasper's pity right now, Edward revealed quickly to divert his thoughts, but though it only confirmed all he had believed for months, what he already knew, he just couldn't force himself to say '_she has been with someone else_' out loud just yet… it hurt too much. Instead so, he tried to bring himself to speak about what was really important then. What was, against all expectations, still really the only sure thing in his heart, and that no matter what he had learnt not long ago. "…it d-doesn't change what I feel for her! Can you believe that?… I-I still love her… god, I still love her so much… and I would give anything just to be able to tell her that, but now…" Edward cried out, but even as Jasper cut him off, it didn't stop the words from echoing through his head.

Now he might never have the opportunity to let her know as much. Now it could be already too late.

He hated the thought that Bella could have been with someone else, that she could have given herself to anyone but him of course, but despite that, deep down, if it meant being with her again and seeing her alright, being able to love her again and have another chance with her, he knew he would have found a way to get past this and accept what had been. If he hadn't been sure about that, or even just not been able to conceive such a thing before, now the thought of losing her surely set the record straight. He would accept and do anything, if it meant being with Bella.

Yes, being with her was the only thing that seemed important at this point, and the rest, their fights, their problems, their disagreements became secondary in his eyes. Completely inexistent even.

"Edward… don't do this… she's gonna be okay… she has to!" Jasper interrupted hastily before the words could leave Edward's mouth, knowing already exactly where he was heading.

Having negative thoughts was certainly the last thing they needed now. Edward would surely not last the hour if he started to think that way, so why he was imposing this kind of torture on himself was beyond him.

"My wife… m-my wife might d-die in there, Jasper…" Edward sobbed out, banging his hand angrily against the glass window in front of him, not caring in the least if he broke the door in the process or what.

Right at that instant, he just wanted to tear it down anyway and go find out what they were doing to his wife and why this was taking so long. He just couldn't take the wait anymore.

And yet, he couldn't even really blame anyone else for his misery, because all this, everything that was happening to him now, was his only fault, he was convinced of that. Somehow he couldn't help thinking that this was his punishment for everything wrong he had ever done, and it was surely hitting its mark. There couldn't be anything worse than what was being inflicted upon him right now. He could feel it. He was losing her and he couldn't stand the thought.

"She's not… I don't want to hear you talk like this… and Bella... Bella wouldn't want that either… she's strong… if anyone can pull through it, it's gonna be Bella!" Jasper declared as persuasively as he could, but if he were honest, even to himself, the words didn't sound quite true.

He knew well that there was a great chance Bella wouldn't make it, the doctors had even tried to prepare them to that possibility earlier, even if his friend hadn't seemed to be really listening to them, but he didn't want Edward to focus on that for now.

And as unbelievable as it was, at least for a short instant, it seemed to work, he thought as he saw Edward looking at him, obviously searching for some confirmation that what he was saying was right, before he wiped away the few tears that had managed to roll down his cheeks with the back of his hand. He didn't say anything for a while, but when he spoke again Jasper was almost surprised by the change.

"We had a fight this morning, you know!" Edward whispered, suddenly looking calmer, like he wasn't even in that same room with him anymore, but had been transported back to this morning.

Jasper wasn't sure that was a good thing however, because that could only lead Edward to do one thing. He was without a doubt going to blame himself and on top of everything else, that surely couldn't be of any good.

"It's not important anymore, Edward!" he told him, hoping to make him concentrate on anything but that, but Edward was obviously determined to go down that road. Knowing him, it was most certainly the only thing he had been able to think about actually.

It was probably a normal reaction if you thought of it, but if they really looked at the situation, if anyone should be blamed then, Jasper couldn't help thinking that it should be him. Even not knowing what their fight had been about, his guess was that what had started it was most likely the fact that Edward had been late once more and that was mainly his fault, not Edward's.

"It is… she must think… Jasper, god she could die thinking that I hate her!" he moaned out achingly, remembering all the hurtful things he had told her and then turned back to his friend, the tortured expression in his eyes making Jasper suck in a breath. "But I don't… I-I don't… God knows I've tried but I just… don't… despite everything we've been through… I still love her more than anything or anyone in this world… she's the only one, Jasper! She's always been the only one! I-I don't know how to… how to just… _be_… without her!" he finished, his voice cracking by the end and making the words barely comprehensible.

"I know that… and I'm sure she knows it, too!" Jasper ventured carefully, knowing that anything wrong he would say at this point could potentially send Edward into another hysterical episode and he definitely didn't need that right now.

"No… no, she doesn't… that's the fucking irony…" Edward declared with a bitter chuckle that sent shivers down Jasper's spine. "You know it, the whole damned world probably knows it, but _she_ doesn't… it's been months, years even since I've really shown her what I feel… what she really means to me… I was so obsessed with my damned career, and doing what I thought was right that I didn't even realize I was pushing her away… and I-I know I lost her then… g-god, if I know that… but if… if anything happened now, Jasper… I-I would just follow her… I couldn't live without her!" he intoned, barely taking a breath between each piece of sentence, and the more he spoke, the more Jasper realized just how close to losing it again he was.

"Edward… stop right now… if not for yourself, you have to be strong for Bella and for your daughter!… you can't fall apart now!" he stopped him and scolded him gently, wanting him to remember that his family needed him now more than ever, and so only when he saw Edward's face blanch and heard the inhuman sob that tore from his throat, did he realize his mistake. Edward was in no fit state to be reminded that they still had no news concerning Janelle's whereabouts.

"My daughter, huh?" Edward started, his vision blurring once more just at the thought of her. "I don't even know where my daughter is!… she could be bleeding to death somewhere and I can't do a fucking thing for her… what kind of father am I? What kind of husband, huh?… I should have protected them… I should have been with them!" he cried self depreciatively, hating himself then probably more than ever before.

Bella was barely alive behind those closed doors and Janelle was God only knew where, while he was there, feeling helpless and lost with no idea of what he was supposed to do. Yeah, some man he was.

"And it wouldn't have changed a thing, you know that, Edward!" Jasper interjected almost right away, understanding where Edward was coming from, but all too aware that this wasn't something he had any control over. Accidents happened all the time, even if no one knew why and even if it was unfair, there wasn't a thing they could do against that.

But Edward wasn't seeing it that way. In his mind, he was convinced that it would have changed _everything_. If he had been there, first of all Bella and Janelle would have probably not been on that road to begin with. But if they had nonetheless, then _he_ would have changed the damned wheel, Bella wouldn't have had to get out of the car and she would be alright right now, because they would have been out of there before anything could have occurred. _He_ would have gotten her out of there, and he would have made sure that nothing happened to her.

"They needed me, Jasper… and I-I wasn't there… and Janelle… she's my baby… my little b-baby girl… sh-she must be so scared, wherever she is… maybe she's calling for me… and I-I'm not there for her!… and…" he croaked out, before his vocal chords betrayed him once more, the thought of Janelle alone out there, wondering where her parents could be and why there weren't coming for her being enough to bring him to his knees. "God, h-how am I even supposed to do this, Jasper?… I feel like I have to choose between her and Bella… how can you choose between your wife and your daughter?… I-I should be out there searching for my baby… but I'm just so scared that something could happen to Bella if I… if I leave here… and then… then I wouldn't be here for her… I'm just so _fucking_ s-scared… I-I can't lose either of them!… I can't… it would kill me, Jaz!… So how c-can I-I do this?" he questioned tremulously, though he wasn't expecting any answer. Jasper wouldn't know what to do either if he was confronted to the same situation.

It was humanly impossible to make such a choice, and there was nothing worse than how it left him feeling. Part of him wanted so much to tell the nurses to go screw themselves and that he would find his daughter himself, but he was also holding on to the hope that they were right and that nothing really bad had happened to Janelle and therefore that he was doing the right thing by wanting to stay by Bella's side, or at least as close to her as he could be, but there was no saying how hard not moving and waiting for someone to answer to those damned faxes was.

As for the thought of losing either of them, he wasn't kidding, he wouldn't survive it if anything irrevocable happened to Bella or Janelle. He was nothing without them and his life would have no sense if he lost them.

"Hey… look at me, Edward!" Jasper ordered him, grabbing his arm and turning him to him when Edward refused to listen to him and obstinately kept looking right ahead. "Nothing wrong is going to happen to your wife or to your daughter… they're both gonna be alright!" he said confidently, hoping more than anything that it were true and wishing he could convince, or at least reassure Edward as well.

He wouldn't stop and think about what he would do if anything worse than what had already occurred to Edward's family was to happen.

"But what if…" Edward couldn't help but interject, though there was no saying how much he loathed having to contradict Jasper in this case.

"No… no buts, no what ifs, okay?… you _have_ to believe that they're gonna be okay!" Jasper cut him off quite brusquely, not meaning to be rude but not needing Edward to come up with all kind of speculations, or crazy scenarios in his state. "Now you know what we're gonna do?… you're gonna stay here with Bella, and I'm gonna see where your daughter is… and believe me even if I have to spend the whole night looking for her, or go to each and every hospital in this damned city, I will… but I'll bring her back, okay?" he then declared fervently, coming to the conclusion that for Edward's sanity as well as his own that was the only thing to do.

Now that Edward was somewhat calmed down, he had no doubt that he would be way more helpful to him if he managed to appease his fears concerning his daughter, and that way at least Edward would be able to concentrate more on Bella.

"But what if you find her but they don't let you see her or… or take her back here?" Edward asked, wanting more than anything to believe that after the living nightmare he had just gone through it could be that easy, but afraid to let himself really hope.

Besides, Jasper not being Janelle's father, they would probably not let him get her out of the hospital just like that. They would most likely need a discharge for that, or something like that and chances were it could only be signed by one of her parents.

"Then I'll come back here and I'll stay here for Bella, while you go and see your daughter… but everything's gonna be okay, Edward!" Jasper said simply, not wanting to go over all the possible obstacles to his reasoning right now. "Besides, we don't even know for sure if Jay was with Bella when the accident happened."

"Where would she be then?" Edward wondered, voicing out loud one of the questions that he had been asking himself for the last hour.

It was just taking too long for the other hospitals staff to identify Janelle and get back to them, so maybe the doctor had been right and she had never been anywhere near the accident. But if that were so, he just couldn't figure out where she could be.

Bella would have most certainly informed him of where she was going to leave her if she hadn't been with her, just in case she would have been late or anything and he would have had to go and get her, and the same applied to his parents. If she had been with them and they had planned to go anywhere with her, they would have called him like they always did in such case. What was more, they wouldn't have kept her out so late, not when they knew that they had plans for the evening, and since they had not answered yet to his messages, at least not before he had had to turn off his phone a little while ago, thing that they would have done as soon as they would have been home and sensed his desperation, he already knew that he was grasping at straws by hoping that she was with them nonetheless.

"I don't know… maybe Bella left her with some friends or neighbors… you said yourself you didn't know where she could be going on that road… so maybe she didn't take Janelle with her and we're worrying for nothing." Jasper speculated, having no idea of what had really happened, but ready to come up with anything and verify any theory that could still give some hope to Edward and help him go through this in any way.

"Can't you join her friends, or Janelle's?… maybe she left her with some classmate?" he asked then, when he saw Edward already trying to see if that could be a possibility and therefore, with whom exactly Bella could have left her.

Bella had of course not known what would happen to her, so it wouldn't be so surprising if she had not taken Janelle with her, maybe thinking that whatever she had to do wouldn't take her long, but the fact that she had not warned Edward of that, or anyone else they knew of, could be a problem and slow them down in their search.

"I have an agenda with their numbers, but it's in my office!" Edward informed him, cursing himself for not keeping it with him or in his car, somewhere it could be easily reachable if anything like this happened. What use did he have for it at his office, really?

"Okay, then I'll just go and take it… and then if we still can't find her in the different hospitals, we'll just call each of them." Jasper decided but still hoped that they wouldn't have to resort to that.

At this point, the sooner they found Janelle the better it would be, for Edward and for everyone, and if they had to go through the whole list of Bella and Janelle's acquaintances, it could take them a while.

"Okay!… but I'm going to call my parents again nonetheless!… just in case." Edward said, thinking that even if they didn't know where Janelle was, they should at least be informed of the situation.

"Yeah, do that and let me know if they have any news!" Jasper demanded, still holding on to the hope that the Cullens would know something.

Unfortunately, since cell communications weren't allowed inside the hospital, they couldn't even know if they had tried to join Edward in the last fifteen minutes or so it had been off, but they hadn't had much choice.

Not too long after Edward had seemed to get back to his senses, Kate had called him to know what was happening but Jasper, who had been the one answering Edward's cell at that moment, had just told her that Edward couldn't talk to her right now and then had turned the phone off after having been asked by the nurses to do so.

In a way, he was glad he had had to because from the little he knew about Kate Denali, he didn't doubt that she would try to call again and that she wouldn't stop until she would be able to talk to Edward, and he surely didn't need to have to deal with her as well, on top of everything else. The only real problem was that it was preventing anyone else to call and join them as well.

"Sure… oh… wait, here!" Edward agreed, before fishing in his pockets for his office keys and giving them to Jasper, sure that by the time he would get there, everyone would have left. "And thank you, Jaz!" he then added meaningfully, closing his hand around Jasper's and wishing he could say even more to express just how much his help meant to him.

He would have hit rock bottom long ago and wouldn't have been able to stand up again, if it weren't for his friend and only for that, he would be forever indebted to him.

"Hey, don't even mention it… I love them, too!" he admitted somewhat discreetly. Not that he was ashamed to say as much, or anything alike, because it was definitely the truth, but he rarely ever told people with words how much they could mean to him.

He didn't need to say more however, because Edward certainly knew how he felt. Jasper had always treated Janelle like she were his own daughter. There was probably not a child on Earth that was more spoiled by their godfather than Janelle was by hers actually and Edward knew all too well he would do anything for her.

Just like he would do anything for Bella, no matter what could happen between them. Even when _he_ was at odds with her, Jasper had never treated her any differently, though of course lately he had seen her or Janelle less than he usually did, due to the circumstances. He had never taken sides either and even now, knowing what he knew, Edward was sure that he wouldn't judge her, or think any less of her for all that.

It didn't come as a surprise however, because that was just the way Jasper was. He could be your worst enemy if he didn't get along with you, but he was definitely the best of friends if he chose you and confided in you and Edward was glad he was proving once more what a good friend he was, because he knew he would need all the support he could get if things didn't turn out as he wished they would.

Till his return so, Edward would wait as patiently as he could and pray with all his might that everything would be okay, knowing that if anyone could find his daughter and bring her back to him, Jasper would be that someone.

**TBC…**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

AN : Here we go again !

I can see that I have confused some of you (maybe even all of you?) and I seem to have lost a few reviewers on the way after those two last chapters (oops, sorry if I made you mad!), but don't worry, you should all have most of your answers in this chapter! I just hope that after this one you won't hate me so much if you did before!

I think I'm leaving you in a good place (well, I hope you'll think so, too) but unfortunately there probably won't be another chapter until Sunday night (my time) since I'm leaving for the weekend and don't know if I'll be able to get a good enough connection where I'm going. If I don't post before that, I'll make sure to do so as soon as I'm back!

**Holy Cross Baby**: don't worry, you won't be confused for much longer, almost all the answers you need are in this chapter! Thanks for the review!

**WeTotallyHaveNoLifeButWeRock**: hopefully you'll like this chapter then! ;) thanks for reviewing!

**Edward4life1**: thanks for reviewing as well! Hope you'll enjoy this one, too!

**Longwhitenights:** your answers are here, too… and noooo, I wouldn't even think about making Bella sleep with Jasper! I can be cruel, but not _that_ cruel… how do you think Bella and Edward would ever work things out or recover after something like that? Lol Thank you, too, for the review!

Oh and the _"__She had a pretty good idea of why they had been separated"_ just meant that the nurse believed that they hadn't been brought together because 'Bella' was out of her car and hit directly by another car while Janelle was supposedly inside the car so she wasn't as hurt as Bella could have been. What's more, the nurse knew that when she was brought in, she was in such a state that she couldn't talk or anything, so she certainly couldn't have made sure that her daughter was taken with her!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: no worries there! I totally understand! As for Bella, yes, she will recover! Hope you'll like the next chapter, too! And thanks as well!

**LovelyLovelyLovely (X2):** Janelle will be found soon and your answer is here!

**Jctypes **(from chapter 8): You're right, Bella and Edward haven't been together for a while! In this chapter, is what you need to know, I'm sure it won't be so confusing after this! ;) … Roswell AND Jason Behr rule! Indeed lol and I can honestly say that if it weren't for one of my friends pointing out the fact that Twilight resembled Roswell on many points, I probably never would have gotten around to reading the books, I remember all too well how I used to make fun of my students' (the girls of course) obsession with Bella, Edward… and Robert Pattinson! Can't say I regret having finally read them though! Thanks for the review, too!

Now, here goes… enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

_"So, if you're satisfied with this new contract, all you have to do is sign it and then we'll be done for now!" __Edward__ informed his client, extending the new version __Kate__ had just typed to the old man, knowing that he would probably sign it without even reading it, since they had spent the last hour going over it already. _

_Like he had predicted, Mr. Forrester barely looked at the contract in his hands a few seconds before signing the document and __Edward__ inwardly sighed at having finally finished with the man._

_Not that he was hard to work with or anything, quite the contrary in fact, but he was his last client for the day and with this last meeting ending, he would be able to breathe a little before attacking on the files he still had to prepared for tomorrow._

_He would probably take a small break, ask Kate for another coffee and maybe even see if she couldn't find him something to snack on since he had barely eaten anything for lunch with the little time he had had, at this point he was ready to eat anything anyway. Or maybe he could even send her to the nearest Krispy Kreme Donuts store._

_Yeah, that seemed like the best idea he had had this day, he reflected, and he was actually already salivating at the thought of the glazed donuts when the sound of something crashing down to the floor brought him back to reality._

_He looked back just in time to see Mr. Forrester apologizing profusely and trying to reach for the pictures he had just caused to fall when he had tried to push the contract back to him, and he quickly bent down to pick up the one that was nearest to him. It was one of Janelle and __Bella__ together and he immediately checked to see if the glass had not been broken or just even damaged ,but as far as he could see, it was intact, fortunately._

_"Your wife?" Forrester queried, and as he stood up with the other picture in hand, __Edward__ saw the one of __Bella__ alone he was holding himself._

_"Yes." __Edward__ said simply, before rearranging both pictures frames like they had been disposed before._

_"She's beautiful!" the other man told him sincerely, taking in the big doe eyes and the long silky hair. No doubt that Mr. Cullen was one very lucky man._

_"Yeah, she is!" __Edward__ replied almost right away, the loving smile that played on his lips at that instant not going unnoticed._

_"Take this piece of advice from this old man… cherish her while you can, show her how important she is, because if you let them forget… that's when you lose them!… You seem to be a very brilliant and successful man, Mr. Cullen, but believe me, nothing would make you happier than to have her still by your side when you grow old!" Mr. Forrester told him and he didn't need to say more for __Edward__ to understand exactly why he was saying so, or where he was coming from._

_He knew he was talking by experience unfortunately. Not a year ago Mr. Forrester had divorced his wife of 24 years and nearly lost everything in the trial. He hadn't seen it coming apparently and that was what had made it all the more difficult. He was a wealthy businessman who thought that the more he earned, the happier he and his family would be, but one day his wife just got fed up with their 'so-called happy life' and being married to the Invisible Man and threw in the towel._

_The divorce nearly ruined him and he barely saw his children at all after that, his son and two daughters having sided with their mother during the battle, but he had really understood how wrong he had been when he had found himself all alone. Only it had been too late. The damage had already been done._

_Edward__ listened carefully to everything he said of course, but a little voice inside of him told him nonetheless that this wouldn't ever happen to him and __Bella__. They were stronger than that. They were soul mates, and though lately their relationship had been kind of strained, he still thought that it was nothing to really worry about. He was working hard to assure them a better living, and even if he didn't see Janelle and __Bella__ as often as he would like, he knew that she understood. Even when she asked of him to slow down, even when they sometimes fought, he was convinced she was able to realize that it was for them that he was working so hard. He hoped she did._

_Of course he knew that there were still other issues, like for example that second baby __Bella__ wanted so desperately, but even that seemed to have been settled down. He knew it had hurt her when he had kept repeating her that they weren't ready for another child, but considering that she hadn't mentioned it for more than a month now, __Bella__ had obviously realized that he had been right and he was all too glad for that._

_It was not that he didn't want that with her, because there was probably nothing he wanted more in fact, but the timing was just not right and he was sure that it wasn't what would help them to get closer again. No, what they needed was time. She just needed to be a little more patient with him and soon he would give her everything she wanted and more._

_"You know what I would do if I were you?" he heard Mr. Forrester continue and tried to pay attention again to what he was saying._

_"No, what?" he demanded and couldn't help but smile at the other man. _

_He didn't think he had ever seen a man liking to talk so much. In a way he was even worse than most women, but it wasn't like he really minded anyway._

_In the few times he had met with him to work on his contracts, he had learned more about him than he could have about clients he had known for years, and it definitely helped to know exactly what he would want and what would be instantly rejected._

_"I'd get out of here as soon as I could, buy a good bottle of wine on my way home, and spend the night with my wife, show her how precious she is… I'd forget about the rest of the world for a while and concentrate on what is really important… your office will still be here tomorrow morning… and all the cases you still have to work on, too!" Mr. Forrester suggested and though __Edward__ found the fact that this old man was here bestowing his wisdom and telling him what he should do rather funny, he pondered what he was saying nonetheless, moreover considering what day it was._

_Today was their ten years anniversary. Well, kind of actually. Ten years ago he had saved her life in her mothers' café and they had never really been apart from that day on. To be honest he had not truly thought about celebrating it or anything, though they usually celebrated one way or another the day they had really gotten together, but now that he thought of it, he realized that it wouldn't be a bad idea to change for once._

_Maybe he could call his parents and ask them to take Janelle for the night so that he could spend some alone time with __Bella__. Maybe he could even start as soon as Mr. Forrester left and just go and meet her at her school. She would definitely be surprised since she would most likely not be expecting him, but maybe it would help them find back some of the tenderness and closeness they lacked lately._

_He kind of liked the idea of doing that. His mind was already running wild at the thought and all that could actually happen if he did in fact. He wasn't even sure he still remembered when they had had a moment for themselves, without interruptions of any kind, whereas it was Janelle needing something or whatever, and he clearly missed it. It had been way too long in fact since they had been all alone and not cared about anything else. Way too long since he had made love to her and it was surely time he remedied to that._

_"I might just do that!" __Edward__ admitted, already mentally running through the list of everything he would actually need, or would have to do to make sure they would spend a memorable night._

_"Well, I'm going to leave you then… I'll call you next week to let you know how it goes, but thank you already." Mr. Forrester answered, smiling knowingly as he saw the expression on __Edward__'s face._

_"Sure… and you're welcome… I'm glad we could help you!" __Edward__ replied and quickly shook the hand the other man was extending. Now that the idea had been implanted in his brain he couldn't wait to actually get out of there and go find __Bella__._

_Mr. Forrester bid him goodbye and as soon as he was out, __Edward__ called his parents, hoping they were home so he could ask them to come and pick up Janelle, but when he got their voicemail, he knew that that would have to wait._

_Quickly putting some order on the files he had spread over his desk, he made sure he had everything he needed for his first appointment the next morning, and then grabbed his briefcase and exited his office. He only took a few more minutes to go and see Emmett to inform him he was leaving and wouldn't be coming back until tomorrow and then was out and hurrying to his car._

_Like Mr. Forrester had suggested it, he stopped on his way to pick a bottle of champagne -yeah, champagne seemed a better choice than a simple bottle of wine- and didn't forget to buy a huge bunch of __Bella__'s favorite flowers, white roses, sure that she would appreciate the gesture even more since it had been a while since he had thought about doing something as simple but romantic as that, and once he was sure he had everything, he drove to her school, hoping that she hadn't left yet._

_The instant he entered the school parking lot, he sighed in relief when he spotted her car a few spot down the one he chose himself, the fact that it was there confirming to him that she was still somewhere around and he hadn't missed her._

_If he had known what would be waiting for him inside, he wouldn't have rejoiced over that fact and would have turned around while he still had the chance and in doing so, he would have certainly spared himself the heartache. He wouldn't have been nearly running inside with the need and anticipation to see her. Yeah, if he had only known._

_The school hallways were almost completely deserted and as he made his way to __Bella__'s classroom, he actually only met two students and a professor but he didn't pay much attention to them, his only thought being to surprise __Bella__. It wasn't until he reached her door actually that he realized that he was the one in for a shock._

_"I can't… not yet… he's… God, __Jacob__, he's going to hate me!" __Bella__'s voice drifted to him before he could even take a look inside, but when he did, he couldn't help but frown at the scene in front of him._

_Her back was to him and __Jacob__ Black was standing there with her, all too close to her in fact for his liking, and he instantly felt his heart hammer in his chest. This didn't really look good. At all._

_"If he hates you, he's an idiot!… __Bella__, come on, you didn't mean for this to happen, but it did… no one is really responsible… you will just have to make sure he understands that!" he heard __Jacob__ say and immediately wondered what they could be talking about._

_Basically caught between the knowledge that he should make his presence known, and the need to eavesdrop, he decided against the former when the words registered in his mind and he understood not what but _who_ exactly they were talking about. _

_He really didn't like the intimate tone this conversation held, like they were sharing some secret, something they didn't want the rest of the world to know, but he liked even less the fact that __Jacob__ Black of all people was calling him an idiot, or obviously knew something that he didn't. Something that __Bella__ had purposely kept from him._

_And no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had no reason to panic, he just couldn't. God, what could she have done for her to think he could hate her? What could be that bad? And what exactly could have happened that she didn't mean to let happen._

_"And what if he doesn't?" __Bella__ said then and by the edge he could clearly hear in her voice, he could tell that she was very near to crying, that realization only increasing his worry, the sick feeling that washed over him then being nearly enough to make him keel over._

_"__Bella__, whether he does or not, is not even the issue… you _have_ to tell __Edward__… he has the right to know… it's not fair to him… it's not fair to hide the truth from him, you know that!" __Jacob__ intoned a little too vehemently for his liking, like he was trying to influence her decision, or at least convince her that it was for his own good that he was saying that, and for a split second everything started to blur away, the words becoming barely comprehensible or making any sense, like his mind was shutting off so that he wouldn't have to hear what he was sure would be coming soon. _

_The last thing he understood again rather clearly in fact was __Jacob__ telling __Bella__ that if he were him he would like to know. Well he wasn't, so what did that… son of a… know about what he could feel or want? _

_"Fortunately, you're not him!" __Bella__ said in a soft chuckle that did nothing to help him feel better, quite the contrary. She had her head down now and her voice came a little muffled but he was sure of what he had heard._

_What was he supposed to think after something like that? That she would rather like him being more like __Jacob__ Black? Or that she was all too glad in fact that they were _nothing_ alike? Whatever it was, it didn't bode well for him anyway. _

_"Thank God for small favors, I'd say!" __Jacob__ joked and __Edward__ had to resist the urge to go to him and punch the living lights out of him, right there, right then. Who did that bastard think he was? He would show him some favors alright! "But either way… you know that you can't keep this a secret from him eternally… he will know sooner or later, he will realize that something is wrong with you or the way you react to him and he'll understand anyway… so the sooner you tell him, the better…" he added then and __Edward__ couldn't help but wonder the better for whom?_

_For him? Surely not! Not if it was what he thought it was, but apparently __Jacob__ didn't care about that, all he wanted was to have __Bella__ all for himself obviously, so no wonder he was trying to convince her that being honest with her husband was what she needed to do._

Secret… he needs to know… you can't hide the truth… the way you react to him_… it didn't take a genius to understand what that meant! _

_Of course his brain had already reached the conclusion anyone else would if they heard such a conversation, but he didn't want to let himself believe that. He couldn't. Not __Bella__. Not his __Bella__, she would never do that to him… or would she?_

_Granted he couldn't say that lately he had been the exemplar husband and he was probably not paying as much attention to her as he should, but that wasn't enough for her to cheat on him. Yet, from the way they were talking, it didn't seem to be something recent, even if he had never gotten even the slightest hint that she could do something like that before today. Could she have been hiding their relationship for long? Could he have been that blind?_

_"I know… but __Jacob__… n-not today… I-I can't… it's our… not t-today" __Bella__ replied, her voice quivering slightly but only making __Edward__ cringe more._

_How considerate of her. She couldn't today. Why? Because today was supposed to be special for them? Well it didn't matter anymore, did it? She had already ruined this day for him anyway and the last thing he wanted to remember was why he had come here to begin with. At least if he hadn't, he could have kept lying to himself, he could have believed that despite how different their relationship was now, everything was fine between them nonetheless. But obviously he had been _so_ wrong. _

_"Yet whatever you decide… you know I'll always be there for you, __Bella__! That won't change!" __Jacob__ interrupted her and __Edward__ felt the bile rise in his throat when he saw him gently lifting her chin up so she would look at him._

_"I know that, too, __Jacob__… and I don't know what I'd do without you!… Thank you so much!" she said ever so softly but he heard her nonetheless, and if he hadn't already felt like throwing up before, he surely did now, even more when __Jacob__ took that opportunity to take her into his arms._

_She didn't know what she would do without _him_? What the fuck did that mean? _

_Well, he would tell her what she would do without him, she would be the wife she was supposed to be! She would be home already and not here, shamelessly betraying him. She wouldn't let someone that wasn't him touch her like she currently was!_

_Yet, if hearing her say so was like a kick to the gut, it was still nothing compared to how what happened next left him feeling._

_"No problem… you know I'd do anything for you!" __Jacob__ pulled back and answered tenderly and the next second, before __Edward__'s incredulous eyes, he cupped her face and kissed her._

_It could be a kiss on the cheek, it could be something supposedly innocent, that was what he was desperately trying to tell himself, but from __Edward__'s standing point, he was clearly kissing her lips, and with that gesture all the little doubts he could still have had flew out of the window._

_Crushing the bunch of roses in his hands, he ignored the sting in his eyes and turned around, refusing to see more, knowing all too well that his heart couldn't take it, and it was only when he was out that he let the tears fall freely._

_He barely saw anything as his vision blurred, but when he spotted the first trashcan once outside, he threw the flowers out and hopped in his car, not knowing himself where he was going to go now, but sure that it wouldn't be home._

_Happy anniversary, __Edward._

* * *

Walking back and forth in front of the payphone, Edward kept casting hateful glares at the thing like it was his worst enemy. The staff passing him by regularly surely thought that he was crazy, and they wouldn't be so far from the truth.

Right now, considering what he was thinking, he was starting to believe he was as well. The instant the thought had crossed his mind he had known that it was a bad idea but still, it had lingered there and there hadn't been any way to get rid of it once it was implanted, no matter how hard he had tried.

He couldn't even believe himself that he was seriously considering calling Jacob Black of all people, the man he certainly hated the most in the whole world, and yet that was clearly his intention.

Or at least it had been, until he had called directory assistance and had been given his number. Now that he was only a dialing away from contacting him, he was questioning not only his sanity but the wisdom of his next move as well.

It wasn't like he really felt like calling him, that was actually the last thing he wanted of course, but as he had been sitting there waiting for more news about Bella, he had started to wonder what _she_ would really need and that was when he had thought about their situation.

He wasn't trying to be noble or anything alike, far from it, and if it depended only on him, he would rather strangle himself with his own bare hands before having anything to do with Jacob, but for once he knew he couldn't afford to think about himself and himself only.

As much as the thought disgusted him, he knew that if the situation was the other way around and he was the one having to go through such an operation and then lying on a hospital bed, he would want to wake up to the face of the one he loved, and in Bella's case chances were unfortunately that that someone she would like to see wouldn't be him but Jacob. He wasn't even sure she would want to see him at all considering how they had parted this morning, but he wouldn't let himself think about that right now.

What he had to do now was to concentrate on Bella and what would be best for her, and if that was Jacob Black, than he should just accept it, shouldn't he?

Yeah, that was what he was trying to tell himself but it was definitely easier said than done. The last thing he felt like doing was to give the man even more importance, but he didn't know if he could really be so selfish as to turn a blind eye on the situation and act as if it didn't matter.

He had had some time to think about it and the more he did the more he was convinced that with or without Janelle, Bella had been going to see Jacob when she had had her accident anyway. It was the only thing that could explain what she could have been doing on that road to begin with. Besides that, whoever she had been calling when it had happened had obviously not been him and since he didn't see her calling a woman to come and help her change her wheel, it didn't leave many possibilities. Then of course she could have been calling for a tow truck or something, but knowing Bella, she would have only done that if she hadn't had any other choice.

The only strange thing with that was that if she had indeed been calling Jacob when she had been hit by that car, then why wasn't he already here? Of course he could not know where she was since he hadn't been with her, but Edward knew for a fact that if Bella had called him and then their call had been cut short, for whatever reason, he would have tried to join her again and most likely worried himself sick about her when he couldn't.

The next thing he would have done then would be to call every hospital to make sure nothing had happened to her, and if it had, make sure he found her. Besides, considering the extent of the accident and the circumstances, it was all over the local news so unless Jacob lived in a hut in the middle of the woods, there was no way he could have not heard about it.

Or maybe he just didn't care enough. Wishful thinking? Yeah, that was what he thought, too! If Jacob had had the chance to discover what it felt to be with Bella and be loved by her, chances were that he was as hooked as he was himself. Though obviously he wasn't as stupid as he could be, but for that he had only himself to blame.

Truth was that he should have taken care of everything from the beginning, before it had any chances to get too far, or further than it had already gone in fact. That first day when he had found them together in Bella's classroom, he should have barged into there and confronted them right away. Maybe he wouldn't be where he was now then. Maybe everything would be different.

Only he had done what he did the best obviously, he had run away instead of facing the problem head up like he should have. That day in fact, he didn't think he had come home before way past midnight and he hadn't even joined her in bed. He couldn't, and so instead he had tried to find some sleep on the living room couch, but as far as he could remember he had barely closed his eyes at all. His mind had been a jumble of thoughts and by the morning, he still hadn't known what he was supposed to think or say.

He had tried his best to avoid Bella then, but he couldn't do the same with Janelle and so in the end, he hadn't had much choice but to face her as well. And it hadn't gone well to say the least.

While he hadn't been acting differently with his daughter, he had all but ignored Bella and rebuffed any attempt she had made at a conversation, only to end telling her that he was leaving for a business trip and didn't know when he would come back when the sight of her there, acting like she wasn't even betraying him, had been too much.

Suffice to say that she had not taken that very well since he usually informed her of his trips way ahead and wasn't generally so aggressive when he did so. She had asked him what was wrong and if she had done something to have him sleeping on the couch and he had lost it. He didn't remember the words exactly, or not very clearly, but they had both ended up yelling, at least as much as they could with Janelle upstairs, until Bella had told him that he couldn't leave just like that and what was worse, that she needed _him_, needed to _talk_ to him.

That had done it, and he had told her that the last thing he wanted was to hear what she had to say, before adding that he couldn't even look at her right then, if he recalled correctly. Bella had of course asked what that was supposed to mean since she still had had no idea that her little secret was already out, he guessed, but even if she had been crying by then and that would have moved him any other time, he had barely yelled a '_you figure it out_' before leaving her planted there.

He just couldn't deal with her then, no more than he could deal with the hurt and pain her deception caused him. And though there had not been any business trip of course, he couldn't stay under the same roof as her without doing or saying something he would regret afterwards. But well, it wasn't like she had minded anyway. Obviously.

If he had thought that being away from him, mostly after their fight, would somehow help her decide what she wanted to do and maybe rethink her behavior, if he had wanted even more to believe that somehow he had misunderstood the situation and what he had seen, he had been seriously deluding himself. That was actually an understatement, considering how little time she had wasted to replace him in his own house.

Not three days after he had left, he had called her at home, if only to talk to Janelle, when his daughter had been the one to answer. Of course he had been ecstatic to hear her voice, considering how much he was missing her, but the joyful feeling hadn't lasted long unfortunately.

To this day, he still remembered the sound of _his_ voice in the background, asking who was on the phone and Janelle answering with an '_it's my daddy, Uncle __Jacob_' and how that had made him feel. It was only the thought of Janelle being there that stopped him from getting into his car and driving to his house to rip him to pieces, no matter how much he wanted to, but somehow he hadn't, even if there was no saying how many times he had thought back about it and regretted not having done so.

Instead though, he had tried to keep his cool, at least for Janelle's sake who wouldn't have understood if he had really expressed out loud everything that he was feeling and that was tearing him up inside at that moment, and when he had managed to form a complete sentence again after that, he had asked questions of his own.

If it hadn't already broken the instant he had seen that bastard holding _his wife_ a few days before that, his heart had without a doubt shattered into a million pieces when he had asked Janelle what _Uncle __Jacob_ was doing there and she had all too naturally informed him that her mommy had been very sick and had barely gotten out of the bedroom and that Jacob was staying with them there to help her. And well, it didn't take a genius to figure out what kind of _sickness_ could force her to stay in bed all day, with Jacob so amiably '_taking care of her_'. Knowing he was there was all the confirmation he had needed to be sure he had not misunderstood anything.

He should have known a long time ago that that guy was up to no good. He _had_ known in fact, since Bella had once confided that Jacob had tried to hit on her when she had started working with him at her school, but back then she had said that she had made things clear to him immediately and that he had stopped as soon as he had understood that she was happily married, and he had been fool enough to trust her. Trust that she had handled the situation. Yeah, she had handled it alright, and he could clearly see how Jacob had given up. Not.

God, everything had made so much sense after that. Her distance. The way she kept to herself, or seemed to be always moody. The fact that their sexual life had gone from perfectly normal -or as normal as it could be considering that he was rarely home before dusk and when he was, he was often too tired to seek her out when it was obvious she didn't care- to almost nonexistent. But he hadn't seen a thing, or maybe he had just _refused_ to see.

Anyway, he had stayed at Jasper's after that, but one week and a couple of days later, when he had calmed some down, or as much as he could in such a situation, and the need to see his daughter had become impossible to bear, he had come back home, but nothing had ever been the same from then on.

He was home even less often and when he was, he did his best to keep himself busy and stay as far away from her as he could, almost only communicating with her when he had no other choice, or when they were in Janelle's presence. He even avoided her at night, always managing to go to bed after she already was, and waking up before she did herself. And as much as it hurt, as long as she didn't pronounce those final words he was sure she had wanted to say that morning he had left before she could talk to him, it had worked just fine. She didn't mention anything, and he did the same, knowing that if he didn't want to lose her, lose everything they had together, he should just keep his mouth shut.

Yeah, it had worked just fine, until that night he had yielded to his need and love for her and had made love to her again. It had surely not taken her long to make the choice he couldn't himself after that.

"Are you going to actually use it?" a voice interrupted his musing and Edward turned around to see a middle-aged woman looking at him expectantly.

"What?" he asked, so far gone when she had talked to him that he had not really understood what she had said.

"The phone! Are you going to use it and call, or what?" she reiterated, wondering if he was just going to stay there and look at it all night.

From his agitated state, she guessed that calling whoever he obviously wanted to call was not an easy task but still, if he couldn't make that decision, he could at least let the others use it.

"Uh… n-no… go ahead!" Edward said before he could really consider it, and stepped back to make room for her.

He didn't go far though, which apparently bothered the woman and after she threw him a sideway glare, he had no choice but to move and go back to his uncomfortable chair.

Of course he could have just waited for her to finish and called after, but even he could admit that he had just been waiting for an excuse to avoid doing so. He didn't think he could go through with it anyway, and he would probably end up insulting Jacob first before really informing him of Bella's situation.

He didn't know much more about her state than when he had arrived in fact anyway, the only thing he had been told so far being that for the moment everything was going well, better than the doctors had expected it in fact. It was something already of course and he couldn't afford to complain he guessed, but he would have preferred if they had told him that they had finished and that Bella was completely out of danger at last.

As he sat down again, he felt a strange sense of liberation at not having called in the end. Truth be told, he didn't want Jacob anywhere near Bella, now not more than ever. He actually wanted to be the only one to be there for her, the only one to take care of her because that was his job. _He_ was her husband after all, what was Jacob? Nothing, as far as he was concerned. And if he looked at things logically, he had not even called the Swans yet, having decided earlier to wait to know more about Bella and how she was doing before alerting them and turning their life upside down as well, so why in the hell should he call Black first? It wouldn't make any sense, right? Again, that was what he thought, too.

Funny how taking the decision to not call had been way easier than to do it. If he really had to, he would do so when he wouldn't have any other choice left. Maybe when Bella would be out of the operating room and lucid enough to make her own decision -and despite what that could mean, he really hoped it would be soon- he would ask her what she wanted to do, but till then, he would be the only one at her bedside when she would open her eyes.

This was his chance, however dramatic the circumstances. This was an opportunity that was given to him to show her what she meant to him, despite everything that had happened between them, to show her that he wouldn't give up on them this time, that he didn't care about the past anymore and that he wanted them to try again. She would maybe not believe him, maybe she would even think that it was already too late, but he would be there with her every step of the way. No matter what.

* * *

Sweat pearled down the column of her neck, but she didn't even notice. Her calves started to burn from the exertion but she kept running nonetheless, needing the exercise to get her mind off other matters.

She had called him again before starting but once more had only gotten his voice mail, and even if she knew that she shouldn't let herself think about that, she couldn't help wondering where the hell he was. The thought that he could be with that bitch of his was enough to make her want to gag, or maybe just hit something in anger.

She wondered what she could have come up with again this time to have him all but running to her with his tail between his legs, like the pathetic dog he could be sometimes when it came to her, and she cursed her to the pit of hell for still having such a hold on him.

She hadn't gotten much detail, but knowing that conniving, cheating slut, whatever had happened to make him leave like he had, was most likely nothing serious, even if that was how she had wanted to make it look. She wouldn't put it past her either to use the lowest tricks in the book to have him exactly where she wanted him. He was the one who couldn't see past her innocent face, but she definitely didn't have that same problem. Now if only she could open his eyes as well.

The phone rang again in the background and once more she was just tempted to ignore it like she had already twice before, thinking that whoever was calling would quickly notice that he wasn't home, but the insistent and repetitive thrilling sound soon got on her nerves and eventually she stepped down the treadmill and stomped to the other side of the room to grab the cordless receiver.

"Hello?" she all but grunted into the phone, still panting some from her run.

"Hello?" she repeated in exasperation when all she got for answer was a long silence. Yet, she could clearly hear someone breathing on the other end of the line and that fact only unnerved her more.

"_R-Rosalie_?" a hesitant voice reached her ears and she all but rolled her eyes.

Okay, whoever this was, was clearly not up to date with Rosalie's whereabouts because it was supposed to be common knowledge that she was in Europe and didn't plan to come back any time soon. Or at least her friends and family were supposed to know that.

"No, it's Kate… who are _you_?" she replied irritably, while inwardly cursing the idiot who had bothered her when she was shaping her body.

Not that she really needed to, but Edward being someone who worked out regularly, she didn't doubt that he would appreciate. And it would certainly not hurt either if he came back to find her in nothing but her sport-bra and spandex short.

"_K-__Kate_?" the woman repeated, and she couldn't miss how just uttering her name seemed to cost her.

However, before she could question her and ask her what her problem was, with her, or with her being here, the caller hung up on her without another word.

Looking at the phone like it was a foreign thing, Kate just frowned, wondering what this was all about, until a thought crossed her mind and she suddenly couldn't help but smile like the cat that ate the canary at the possibility.

Maybe she had been worrying for nothing. Maybe she had been wrong all along. And if she was, then this was definitely going to work for her.

* * *

Hours seemed to stretch to no end and with them Edward's patience started to wear thin as well. It felt like centuries to him since the last time he had seen a nurse come in or out of those damned doors. An eternity since he had heard a noise around in fact.

Weren't hospitals supposed to be always busy? Animated? Weren't there supposed to be people running everywhere? Here everything seemed like to be suspended in time, like life had stopped altogether and the whole world was waiting with him for some sign, some news, anything. Here everything seemed suddenly… dead… and Edward really didn't like how that made him feel. No, he didn't like it one bit.

Hands shaking in nervousness, he massaged his neck, hoping to alleviate the soreness there, but it didn't seem to do him any good. Nothing seemed to calm him, appease his fears, soothe his now tired body. He felt uncomfortable in his own skin, like he was slowly burning from the inside out, and he nearly cried out aloud in frustration.

God, he needed to get out of there. He needed some air, needed to clear his head, or he would break something and soon.

Quick strides led him to the entrance doors and the instant he was out, he doubled over, hand on his knees, avidly gulping for air while he fought tears of desperation and waves of nausea, the sight of his blood-stained shirt definitely not helping to stop the rolling in his stomach.

He didn't know how much more of this he still could take. Seriously. Inside, the walls seemed to be slowly closing in on him, outside, he was just too far from Bella. Nothing seemed to be good enough for him anymore. No matter what he did, or how he looked at it.

If someone had told him this morning that this was where he would end up, he would have done his best to never wake up. He would have fought against everything and everyone just to be able to ignore the world. Nothing about this day seemed right and if he could, he would just go back in time and erase it completely.

Yes, if he could, he would do everything all over again. He wouldn't have been late. He wouldn't have fought with Bella. She wouldn't have asked him for a divorce. He wouldn't have insulted and hurt her. And she would definitely not have been here, so close and yet so far away. She was still there, holding on, he knew that, he held on to that himself, but it was not enough.

If he could, if he was given a second chance, he would make things right, before it was too late. Nothing seemed to matter more than that and it was certainly the only thing that kept him still going right at that instant. Making things right with Bella as soon as she would wake up. Telling her, showing her how he felt, what he wanted.

His breathing less erratic now, he fished into his pocket for his phone, hoping to find a message from Jasper, his parents, anyone who could inform him about Janelle's whereabouts, and he had to use all of his willpower to not throw his cell away in rage when he turned it on and after the few seconds it normally took for it to connect, he didn't hear the usual jingle tone that should have signaled a new message.

Nothing. Nothing at all, he was just as in the dark about her as he had been _hours_ ago, ever since Jasper had left.

Quickly dialing his friend's cell number, he cursed loudly when all he got was his voice mail, knowing that his prayers wouldn't be heard yet. And why even bother leaving a message? It wouldn't help.

A second call to his parents resulted to be as unsuccessful, only succeeding in leaving him even more frustrated in fact and for the umpteenth time, he wondered where the hell they could have gone? Was he going to have to worry about them as well? This was certainly the last thing he needed and he would just go and hang himself to the nearest tree if he had to deal with another mysterious disappearance in his family.

"Mom, Dad… it's me… Edward… call me back as soon as you get this message!… it's… it's important!" he drawled out tiredly, swearing inwardly that the first thing he would do as soon as he would get a chance would be to invest in a cell phone for his father, like it or not.

His mother didn't understand those 'damned' things like she said, but his father was just against new technologies, and even more against anything that could allow anyone to locate him when he clearly didn't want to be joined.

Well, he would have to get used to it because after tonight, he would just show him the usefulness of such devices and that even if he had to resort to violence and knock it into his head.

Defeated and more depressed than ever, he turned around and was ready to switch his phone off once more before entering back, when it rang unexpectedly, all but startling him and forcing him to take a step back.

"Mom?" Edward asked into the phone before he even looked at the ID of the caller, sure that it was his parents finally calling him back, and hoping against all hope that they would have some good news for him.

"_No, it's not your _mom_, you… you _bastard!" an angry voice boomed along the line and the second he recognized it, Edward felt his head start spinning and his heart stop altogether.

_It couldn't be! It just couldn't be_! he thought, feeling suddenly dizzy and consequently stumbling backward, the only thing that stopped him from falling flat on his ass from the shock being the wall he connected with.

Oh. God. What the…

"B-Bella?" he choked on the name, thinking that he had finally lost it completely and that he was simply imagining things, because clearly this just couldn't be real, but still, even as he heard her curse his name all the way to hell, he found himself hoping this was true nonetheless. "Oh, god… Bella, a-are you okay? Where… god, where are you?"

"_Where am I? Where am _I_?… are you kidding me?… where the hell are _you_?… no, forget it… I perfectly know where you are_!" Bella cried out, not believing for a second that he could have the nerve to look surprised to hear her, or act like she had been the one disappearing on him.

That asshole! Oh, but she would show him, and no later than right now.

"Bella… wait…" Edward stuttered, his mind trying to process what was happening, but though his brain was working at a furious rate, it just didn't make any sense to him.

How could Bella be calling him from… _home_? he realized as he pulled the phone off his ear and took a quick look at the small screen where the word was still visible. How could he just be talking to her right now, when not five minutes ago she had still been lying on an operating table for all he knew and he had been praying for some kind of miracle? How the hell could this happen? He was going crazy, that was the only explanation he could come up with. Or at least it seemed to be the most logical.

"_No… you listen to me, Edward Cullen and listen to me good… you can treat me like crap if you want and whenever you want, you can stomp on my feelings and not care in the least for all _I_ care… but I will be damned if I let you hurt your daughter without saying a thing!… from now on…_" Bella intoned, fuming from the inside out when she realized that Edward was probably going to try to serve her some stupid excuse to calm her down and wasn't even going to take his responsibilities, but he was seriously deluding himself if he thought that he was going to get out of this one that easily.

Bella could tolerate about anything he could throw at her. She could overlook anything he could do to her, even when it hurt like hell, because she knew she had no choice, she couldn't force him to love her if he didn't want to, or just simply didn't feel it anymore, but she would kill him first before allowing him to hurt her daughter just because he had suddenly decided that Kate Denali was more important to him than anyone else.

Well, if his own daughter couldn't mean more to him than his blonde bitch, she would make things easy for him and he wouldn't have to worry about having to make a choice any longer. But he could rest assure that whatever it took, she would protect Janelle. At all costs, and against anyone. Even the man who had helped to bring her to this world.

"No, Bella… wait, wait… just l-listen to me, please!… you don't understand… I-I thought… oh, god, they s-said…" Edward tried in vain to explain to her what had happened, even if he didn't understand everything that was occurring himself actually, but obviously Bella was in no fit state to hear him out.

And if he hadn't understood why she seemed to be so upset at first, after remembering that had all this not happened he should have been with Janelle at home hours ago for their movies night, now he perfectly could. Only Janelle's well-being could put Bella in such a state, and he loved her even more for that, but god, couldn't she see that none of this was his fault? That he had never meant to let them down, and that only a couple of hours ago actually, he had been in the pit of despair himself and had been sure he would just die if he couldn't be with her and Janelle very soon. _Of course_, he would have rather been with them than having to go through that!

"_Oh, I understand alright… I understand that Janelle cried herself to sleep because _you_ broke your promise to her… and I understand that _I_ was the one who had to be there for her and comfort her… I had to lie to her because of you and you know how much I hate that… god, I'm so fed up with this… she doesn't deserve this, __Edward__… you had no right to just… to… _god…" Bella cut him off once more, growing more infuriated the more she had to hear his voice, the pain she could clearly distinguish in it actually only serving to fuel her anger even more.

Pain was not an emotion she could understand right now. Not coming from him at least. What gave him the right to act like he could share, or understand what she felt herself? What gave him the right to sound like his own world was slowly collapsing around him, or he regretted everything he had done so far?

Well, whatever it was, it was too late anyway, buddy. He should have thought about the consequences of his actions before, now the only thing she wanted was to make him hurt, just like he had hurt her baby girl.

Just thinking back to her now, was enough to make her want to cry herself. Having to witness how her bottom lip had started to tremble and her eyes to mist when she had understood that Edward wouldn't come tonight had nearly broken Bella's heart, but when she had finally broken down in tears, begging her to call her daddy and tell him to come right then because she wouldn't go to bed before having seen him, Bella had known that she wouldn't be able to forgive him this time. It had happened too many times with her, there had been too many overrun meetings, too many last-minute hitches that had forced him to cancel or postpone whatever plans they could have had together, she wouldn't let him do the same thing to her daughter now.

Of course, if she stopped long enough to think about what had really put her in such a state of rage, she would realize immediately that she was partly being unfair and it was just her own hurt and jealousy talking, but then she knew that she would just collapse and cry until she would have no tears left. Being angry seemed to be easier then, even if it wouldn't stop her from feeling betrayed, or like her world had finally and definitely fallen apart.

She didn't know how long exactly Kate Denali had been living with Edward, if that was what it was, but what was sure was that he had certainly not wasted any time to invite her over. It was only this morning that she had expressed her intention to get a divorce and tonight she was over there, already answering the phone like it was her home, so she doubted that this had been a onetime occurrence, even if she had never gotten her on line before, at least not at Rosalie's. What hurt most though, was the thought that Edward had been there, too, but had obviously been too busy to take the call himself and it wasn't that hard to imagine what they had been doing then, since Kate had clearly seemed out of breath when she had answered.

No matter how much the concept of him that way, with _her_, repulsed her, it seemed all too evident to her that while she was struggling to put Janelle to bed and coming up with any kind of excuses to defend him and justify his absence, he had just been _fucking_ Kate Denali without another care in the world. They had probably been celebrating the fact that he would be a free man very soon, their enthusiasm over the news making him forget everything about her, but what was worse in Bella's eyes, everything about his own daughter. And God, how she hated him for that.

"Bella… it's not what you think, okay… I-I'm coming and I will explain…" running out of patience, Edward only saw that solution to stop her in her rant. Maybe if he was in front of her, he could calm her down and make her understand that this was only one huge misunderstanding. One more in the long list they already had on their favor obviously.

"_You _what_? Oh, no… I don't think so! You're not setting foot into this house_…" Bella shrieked upon hearing him, swearing that she would just wreck his neck the next time she would see him.

Did he really think that he could screw up like this and then just come and see her with a big smile on his face, act like nothing at all, and that was just it? He obviously hadn't realized yet just how much he had hurt them both, and was seriously misjudging just how thoroughly pissed she was right now if he actually truly believed that.

"Bella… please… wake up Janelle … I'll be there in fifteen minutes!" Edward sighed and said more firmly this time, knowing by experience that it was no use trying to discuss with her when she was like that anyway.

Besides, he needed to see his daughter. He needed to see for himself that she was alright. And god, more than anything he needed to see Bella, because though he could hear her now, his heart wouldn't stop beating so erratically until she would be just in front of him and he would make sure that everything was really alright with her.

"_Have you lost your freaking mind?… do you know what time it is?… I don't care what your excuse is this time… you're not seeing her tonight… and if it depended only on me… believe me, __Edward__, you wouldn't see her ever ag-_…" Bella hissed heatedly, her body trembling from the fury that was unfurling inside of her, but before she could complete her threat -threat that she knew very well she would have regretted afterwards anyway- she heard a siren in the background and she was stopped dead in her tracks.

"_E-Edward, where a-are you_?" she asked after a few seconds, her voice quivering in sudden dread when she heard someone yell a '_get out of the way_', very close from where Edward obviously stood.

"Cedars Sinai Hospital!" Edward revealed, and he could almost instantly feel the change in her, her sharp intake of breath carrying over the line and tugging at his heart.

"_You… oh, god!… what are you doing there, Edward?… a-are you alright? … what happened? Oh, god, baby, are y-you hurt… did s-something_…" Bella rushed out in one breath, a hand on her heart, the only thought still running through her head being that something could be wrong with him, and not once did she notice the tenderness and concern in her tone, or the fact that she was speaking to him again like nothing had ever happened between them, or like she had not been ready to end off his life not two minutes ago.

It didn't seem to matter anymore because at that moment, she could swear that her heart had just stopped mid-beat from the fear she felt and just like that, she was drained of all her righteous anger and indignation.

"No, no… I-I'm fine… it's a long story, and I'll explain everything, I promise… but please… I n-need to see the two of you… B-Bella… I-I can't tell you more right now… but if-if the eleven years we've loved each other still mean anything to you, do what I'm asking you, please… wake up our daughter and wait for me, okay?" Edward pleaded with her in a long tortured whisper, very close to losing it again.

It seemed to him like this day from hell would never end, and he could feel the tears burning his eyes again. God, the only thing he wanted was to sit down with his daughter and wife and forget that it had happened at all, was that still too much to ask after everything he had already gone through?

"Bella?" he softly called her name when she failed to answer, and for a fleeting second, he even wondered if she hadn't hung up on him, or just dropped off the phone.

"_Y-Yeah… I… o-okay_!" Bella answered in a sob, a thousand of possibilities already filling her mind and though she could hear the tears in her own voice, she didn't care right now.

She had been so angry with him that she hadn't even stopped to think that anything could have happened to him, but now, just the thought was enough to rack her body with uncontrollable tremors and she wasn't even surprised when she found herself on her knees on the floor before she could even realize that she was falling.

"Bella, baby, I'm fine, really… I'm on my way, okay? I'll be there soon!" Edward whispered soothingly, hoping he could take her in his arms already, because at that moment he was convinced that she probably needed it as much as he did himself.

He wouldn't analyze what it meant for now though, but he would lie if he said that her reaction didn't fill him with hope. He couldn't help thinking that if she seemed to be so affected, maybe it meant that she still cared for him enough for them to pick up the pieces of their relationship and still have a chance to save whatever was left of their marriage.

"_Y-Yes… I'll... we'll be waiting_!" she managed to breathe out, wishing herself that he could already be there as well.

She didn't think she would be able to breathe properly, until she would have him just in front of her and made sure whatever had happened to him was nothing bad. He sounded okay as far as she could tell, but she needed more than the soft sound of his voice for reassurance.

"Thank you!" he expelled, closing his eyes in relief, grateful that she wouldn't keep fighting him, at least for now.

Silence stretched between them after that, the only sound on the line suddenly being the sound of each other's breathing, both knowing that they should hang up already but none of them really wanting to. Until Edward was eventually ready to make that decision, yet before he could, Bella called his name and he found himself listening attentively again.

"_Edward_?" her voice was soft, hesitant even, but at the same time Edward could swear he heard the desperation in her tone as well, although he didn't know what to make of it.

"Yes?" he waited with bated breath, wondering what could be so important now that she couldn't wait for him to arrive to tell him so.

'_I love you!_', the words burned her throat and more than anything ,she wished she could say them out loud because despite everything, there was probably not a moment she meant them more than this one, she realized, but somehow she restrained herself, convinced that this was probably not something that he wanted to hear anymore. That and the fact that she really didn't know how she would react if he rejected them, rejected _her_, or simply told her that he didn't know what to say to her in return.

"_Hurry_!" she said instead, knowing that she was being a coward again, but thinking that it wasn't as if she still had a choice anyway. Telling him how she felt would certainly not do them any good, or change anything, so why bother in the end?

"Yeah!" Edward answered simply before hanging up, but something deep down inside told him that that had not been the first thing she had had in mind. He could be wrong, but she had just taken too long to tell him such a simple thing as this. He didn't have time to think too much about that though. Not now.

On unsteady feet, he half-walked, half-jogged to his car, caught between the desire to yell in relief and the urgent need to cry. Bella and Janelle were okay, that was the only thing that was still running through his head, and he needed to get to them as fast as possible.

Part of him was of course wondering how in the hell this could have happened, how he could have received a call from the hospital telling him that his wife was all but dying in there and then that his daughter was nowhere to be found when they were all clearly mistaken, but the biggest part of him was just too grateful nothing had really happened to them to truly question his luck.

There had to be an explanation, and whatever it was, he was sure that sooner or later he would learn the truth, but that wasn't his main preoccupation right this second. No, right now what he wanted was to get into his car and arrive in one piece, so he could be with his family at last.

Just as he was opening his car door, another vehicle parked just beside his and in a reflexive move, he turned back to it, only to stop momentarily dead in his tracks when he recognized Jasper's car.

Seeing him getting out of it, it didn't take him long to analyze the expression on his face. Wherever Jasper had gone, he hadn't been able to find Janelle -which was normal since she had most likely been home all this time- and it was all too clear to him that he was wondering how in the world he was going to be able to break the news to him. But thank God, it didn't matter anymore.

Taking uncertain steps toward Edward, Jasper cringed inwardly with the prospect of what he was about to do. How was he supposed to look at Edward in the eye and tell him, _hey, I'm sorry, but I still don't know where your baby is!_

He had gone to every possible hospital he knew of in the city, to every clinic and still his search had been fruitless, and he knew all too well that it would break Edward's heart to hear so. Even if in a way it could be a good thing since it pointed more and more to the fact that Janelle had not been with Bella in the car when the accident had happened, he didn't think that it would be of any comfort to Edward. Nothing would until he would have his daughter safely tucked in his arms.

"I'm sorry… I…" Jasper stammered helplessly and held out the agenda he had taken from Edward's office for all explanation.

Well, he had never been good with words, that was for sure, and he was proving it once more, but he knew that Edward would understand what this meant without him needing to utter them this time. He also knew that despite everything, Edward would know that he had done his best nonetheless. Or so he hoped.

"Oh… uh… thanks, but I won't need it… I-I need to go!" Edward grabbed for it and stuttered himself, the need to leave being greater than the need to explain everything to Jasper right now.

"What?… What the hell is happening, Edward? Where are you going?" Jasper asked bewildered, noticing for the first time that it was actually weird that Edward had been in the parking lot himself.

Looking at him intently now, that was when Jasper realized that Edward had his keys in hands and looked really serious about leaving. He would have probably done so already even, if he hadn't arrived at that moment and he couldn't help but frown in worry, thinking that his friend had finally lost it for good.

"Home!" Edward just said, feeling a strange sense of peace and relief as he uttered the word.

Yeah, home was wherever Bella and Janelle were, and that was where he needed to be.

"Home?" Jasper parroted in disbelief, sure now that he had missed something big since he had left because this didn't make any sense at all to him. "But what if something happens with Bella? What if…" he queried, growing more confused by the second.

Surely Edward wouldn't leave now, not when he had been making himself miserable before because he didn't want to have to choose between Bella and Janelle. There had to be some kind of explanation, of course.

Oh, God. What if Bella… no, no… he wouldn't let himself think of that. It was not possible. Besides, Edward wouldn't look so calm if he had just… god, _lost_ his wife. Just thinking about it, even only for a second, was enough to put him in a cold sweat, so he could only imagine how Edward would have reacted himself if it were that.

"It-It's not her, Jasper!" Edward breathed out, still having a hard time believing it himself.

"_WHAT_? What are you talking about?" Jasper cried out, sure that he had heard him wrong, or just not understood the words.

What did that mean, it's not her? Of course it was her, Jasper knew that Edward had been given her wallet almost as soon as he had arrived, so it had to be her. Not that he didn't want what Edward was telling him to be true, but still, it seemed impossible.

"Bella… sh-she's home with Janelle, she's okay! Janelle is, too!… and I-I'm going to see them!" Edward continued, not surprised to see his friend looking at him like he had just lost his mind.

"But how? How is it possible?… Edward, what's happening here?" Jasper demanded more forcefully now, thinking that soon he would be the one needing to be sedated, or downright locked away in a loony bin if someone didn't start explaining this to him, and fast.

"I don't know! … and I-I don't care either way… she's alright, Jaz, they both are… that's all that matters to me right now!" Edward replied, voice cracking slightly, the fact to say it out loud helping him to realize the full impact of what it meant. His girls were alright. There were home, and they were perfectly safe.

"Okay, okay… but what about that woman in there? Who is she if it's not Bella?" Jasper tried to rationalize, wanting more than anything to believe what Edward was saying, but there were still too many incoherencies in this.

"I-I don't know… and I don't know how she had Bella's papers with her either but it's not her!… I need to go now!" Edward rushed out, clearly getting impatient now.

Of course he understood Jasper's need to question all this, and he would do the same if he didn't have more important things to think and care about. Like getting the hell out of there as fast as he could, if only Jasper would let him.

"Okay… I-I'm coming with you then!" Jasper proposed before realizing that that was maybe not what Edward wanted or needed right now.

"No, Jasper… that's not necessary… besides, someone needs to tell them it's not Bella… they need to find out who that woman is… she must have a family, too, and they need to know!" Edward countered, not meaning to sound rude or ungrateful, because truly he would probably never be able to repay Jasper for everything he had done for him today, but as selfish as it sounded considering how he had helped him, he wanted to be alone with the two loves of his life nonetheless.

"Right, right… okay… I'll tell them… but Edward, be careful… I know you want to see Bella and your daughter but drive safely, don't go and kill yourself now, okay?" Jasper relented easily, understanding right away what Edward wasn't telling him, but that didn't stop him from making sure that Edward wouldn't do anything crazy now that he knew where to find his family.

Nonetheless, he was right. Whoever that woman was, someone might have noticed her disappearance and he didn't doubt that they had to be worried sick about her. It seemed just so crazy that she had been there all along and no one had been able to realize that she wasn't Bella.

"I won't!" Edward promised immediately, and for the first time of the night Jasper was happy to see a smile on his face. It was still hesitant, like he was afraid to rejoice over the turn of events just too soon, but it was a smile nevertheless. "Thank you, Jasper… for everything!" he then added and before he could react, Jasper found himself engulfed in a manly hug.

"Anytime… now go, Edward… your family is waiting for you!… and… " he answered, patting Edward's back before pulling away and meeting his eyes with much seriousness. "… and tell Bella how you really feel, okay? … you won't be always as lucky Edward, and you don't know what could happen to any of you, life is short… you've seen that today… so don't wait any longer and make things right with your wife!" he advised, still convinced that despite everything that had obviously torn them apart, if there was anyone that had enough love to go through anything, Edward and Bella were those people. They just needed to sit down and talk, _really_ talk to each other.

"Believe me, that's exactly what I plan to do!" Edward affirmed, swearing to himself that after this night, he wouldn't let the chance to patch things up with Bella pass him by ever again. No, whatever it took, he wouldn't go through another day without her or his daughter. She had loved him once, he would make sure she would love him again.

"I hope to _not_ see you later then!" Jasper said simply, hoping that the next time he would see Edward at his apartment, it would be to come and pick up his things and haul his ass back home. Where he belonged.

"Yeah… bye, Jaz!" Edward said and almost without delay got into his car, not waiting a second longer to crank up the ignition and get out of there.

"Bye." Jasper replied, even if he knew Edward wouldn't hear it.

As he saw him pulling off his parking spot, he sincerely wished that everything would go alright for Edward and that this night would help him, as well as Bella, to understand how much they still meant to each other, and therefore work their way to a reconciliation.

* * *

Her gaze drifted to the mural clock once more and she frowned when she realized that only two minutes had passed since the last time she had looked.

Fourteen minutes. It had already been fourteen minutes since she had woken Janelle up and settled down with her on the living room couch, and Edward wasn't here yet.

She did her best to keep her cool and maintain her composure of course, but the more seconds chimed out, the less she managed to act the part and feign that it wasn't eating her up inside to not know what was happening with Edward.

She had thought that the first minutes had been the worst, when she had had to pull herself up and find the strength to reach the stairs, but this now was actually pure torture.

Janelle, wrapped in the soft blanket her mother had draped around her when she had all but extracted her out of her bed before she was even really awake, squirmed on her lap and Bella forced an apologetic smile on her face when her daughter pointed out to her that she had stopped mid-sentence.

Not wanting to worry her, she resumed her task, having decided on reading her a story while they waited for Edward, but her voice sounded hollow and strained even to her own ears. She just hoped that Janelle was tired enough to not notice.

Fact was, she couldn't help herself. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts kept drifting back to the same and only thing. Edward. Their relationship. What was going to happen now.

When she had woken her, Janelle had been clearly disoriented and had it not been for the situation, Bella would have probably rolled her eyes, or just smiled knowingly when the first thing she had whispered upon opening her eyes had been a soft '_daddy?_', like even in her sleep she had still been thinking and dreaming of her father, or something, and had hoped that he would come and wake her up as soon as he could and that even in the middle of the night. Yet as it was, Bella had only felt her heart tightening in her chest even more as she imagined, even for a mere second, just how utterly devastated Janelle would be herself if anything was to ever happen to her daddy.

It made her feel even worse for having cursed at him like she had and she knew that she would probably never forgive herself for having been so mean and vindictive. It wasn't like her at all, and she hated herself for letting things get to her like tonight, when nothing was clear anymore in her head and she was only driven by her rage… and yeah, she could admit it, her jealousy mainly. The instant she had heard Kate answering the phone, the second she had recognized her voice and that even when she had wanted to convince herself that it could be Rosalie, she had been nearly blind with it and had lost all rational thought, and now she felt stupid for her reaction.

Sure, what she knew now didn't change anything to the fact that Edward was obviously with Kate, whether he was indeed living with her or not, but at least she was convinced now that all her speculations had been incorrect. Even if she didn't have all the facts yet, it seemed evident that Edward had not spent the evening with her like she had wrongly assumed, and well, it was always better than nothing at all, wasn't it?

It didn't mean that they hadn't… _done_… what she had assumed tonight before, they had most likely done so more times than she was willing to think about, but at least she was sure that whatever Kate had been doing at Rosalie's apartment that had left her breathless had not been with Edward, and what was more important even, she could tell herself that he had not traded their daughter for a session of hot sex with that two-cents-worth tramp and that was already some consolation.

The funny thing now was that she had been dreading this moment almost all day, fearing the next time she would have to face Edward, because she had known that after their morning confrontation, they would have to talk and stop avoiding that famous conversation she knew they would have had to have sooner or later, but now she couldn't wait for him to arrive, no matter the consequences, or where it would lead them.

She _needed_ to see him, to be near him, more than she could need anything else at that instant, and however scary that actually was, she couldn't deny it.

* * *

For Edward, the twenty minutes or so it took him to go from the hospital to his house had to be the longest of his life, and it was nothing short of a miracle if he had managed to arrive without causing an accident himself. He had been extra careful of course, or as much as he could considering his state, but he couldn't get there fast enough and consequently had surely not respected many driving laws.

He didn't even take the time to park his car properly in the driveway and before he had even cut the ignition, his lights were already off and his door already opened. It wasn't until he was directly before the front door in fact that he hesitated briefly.

A very small part of him was still afraid that this was not real, that somehow he had imagined that whole phone call and that Bella was still being tended at the hospital while Janelle was yet crying somewhere for her daddy, and it made opening the door all the more difficult.

What if nothing was true? What if he had only been deluding himself once more? What if he tried to open that door, only to find it locked? What if he called for them and no one answered? He honestly didn't think that he would survive it and yet, there was only one way to know for sure.

As he reached for the doorknob, he wasn't even utterly surprised to see how much his hand was shaking, nor was he to realize that his feet were barely carrying him at all, but when he reached the living room entrance, he had to wonder how it was still possible for him to be still standing up and not have collapsed and cried already.

He felt himself sway sideway nonetheless and he knew that, weren't it for the room separation, he would most likely be sprawled on the floor by now, but he didn't have time to be grateful for the fact.

The scene just in front of him nearly took his breath away and he could swear he felt his heart pounding in his throat now. Sitting on the couch was Bella, alive and safe, their daughter cradled securely in her arms, while she read to her one of those fairytales she loved so much and it took all of his willpower to not just run to them and take them in his arms to never let go.

He couldn't move however, couldn't even take a small step in their direction, so afraid he was they would just disappear if he tried to approach them and so instead, he just feasted upon them from a distance, at least while they had still not noticed his presence. It also gave him some time to pull himself together, because at that instant he was clearly a mess and the last thing he wanted was for Janelle to see him like this.

The only light in the room was coming from the small lamp near them and the few candles Bella had lit here and there, over the bar counter behind them and the mantelpiece, but it was enough for him to distinguish their forms clearly and even if Janelle was actually facing the other way and he was only presented with Bella's profile, he could perfectly enjoy every expression on her face as she kept reading and his heart burst with love and joy at seeing her at last.

She was free of any makeup as far as he could tell, her hair was loose and she wore a simple sleeveless top with some sweatpants but god, she had never looked more beautiful to him than at that second, and his insides twisted at the sight of her. To think that he could have missed all this, that the two people that meant the more to him in this world could have been taken away from him was just unbearable. No, he would just die if that ever happened.

"How are we going to name him?" he heard Bella say, her voice hoarser as she was obviously trying to impersonate a man.

"Can I choose, mommy?" Janelle's voice resonated into the room for the first time since he had arrived, interrupting Bella with one of the many questions she often asked when they read to her, and Edward had to clamp his hands over his mouth to not cry out at the wave of emotions that crashed over him at finally hearing her and seeing for himself that she was okay.

"Sure, how would you like to name him if you could?" Bella asked, tearing her eyes from the book briefly to direct all of her attention to their daughter.

"Edward? Can we call him Edward like my daddy?" Janelle demanded and Edward immediately felt his eyes brimming with tears.

"Yeah… Edward, that's a beautiful name your daddy have!" Bella replied softly and it was the tenderness with which she spoke the words that nearly brought him to his knees.

A small whining sound escaped his lips and the next second Bella's gaze drifted to him and he forgot how to breathe, or what he was supposed to do now.

Their eyes met and locked very briefly but all too soon, Bella's attention was apparently diverted by his appearance and he clearly saw her eyes widen in shock when they settled first on his bandaged hand and soon after she saw the blood on his shirt, confirming to her that he had indeed been hurt.

She gaped at him and after he followed her gaze, Edward immediately pulled at the lapels of his jacket to cover the stains and not scare his daughter, before shaking his head imperceptibly in hopes that Bella would not comment and keep acting naturally. Fortunately, Janelle had obviously not seen him yet and it was clearly better this way.

"Sweetie, look who's here to see you!" swallowing past the huge lump in her throat, Bella somehow managed to concentrate on her daughter, but there was no saying how hard it was to not just go to him and run her hands all over his body to make sure he wasn't badly hurt. It was actually only the thought of Janelle and how much it would certainly panic her if she did so that stopped her.

The instant Janelle turned around and noticed him standing there, she squealed loudly and Edward was sure there couldn't be a more beautiful sound in this world. Bella scooped her up into her arms, not even paying attention to the blanket that fell unnoticed on the floor as she took the first steps towards him, but still Edward couldn't help but think she was moving definitely too slow for him.

When they finally were within reach, Janelle stretched out her hands to him and he couldn't pick her up fast enough.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, sweetie!" Edward whispered achingly the instant he had her in his arms, stroking her hair tenderly, like he needed the soft contact to make sure this was really happening, to convince himself that he was really holding her after everything. "God, I love you so much!"

" 'S 'kay, daddy… I'm not mad!" Janelle answered just as softly, her tiny arms coming around her father's neck and hugging him tightly, too little yet to make too much sense of Edward's distress. She couldn't stay mad very long with him anyway, no matter what he did, she loved him too much for that.

Bella was another story however, and she couldn't help growing more and more worried the more she looked at him. The way he nearly crushed Janelle to him, his closed eyes, the tears that prickled his eyelashes were enough to make her tremble in apprehension.

"Edward? What happened to you?" she demanded when she saw him holding their daughter like she was his lifeline and he was afraid she would be taken away from him if he let go.

Whatever had happened to him, it had to be something big because she didn't think she had ever seen him so scared to lose his daughter, and even if she couldn't understand why that would be, she clearly recognized that it could only be that that made him react so out of character.

"Not now, Bella, please… I just want to spend some time with my baby!" Edward replied, his eyes now fixed on his daughter and looking at her with so much love, it made Bella ache inside at the sight.

Feeling like she wasn't even welcomed in this little reunion, most of all because Edward didn't seem to want to include her, she took a step back, ready to leave them alone if that was what he needed, no matter how much it hurt, but before she could go further, Edward's hand on her hip stopped her.

"No!… stay!" he hissed in an urgent whisper, forgetting for a moment that he could startle Janelle, his fingers all but digging into the flesh of her side in a desperate attempt to prevent her from leaving him, but though Bella was clearly shocked by the unexpected gesture, it was the unconcealed anguish in his gaze that really was her undoing.

His eyes bored into hers then, saying so much more than those two simple words, expressing so many emotions, and she was unable to look away. For a short instant, everything else ceased to exist and she got lost again in his amazing eyes, like she had so many times before. There was nothing else but the way he looked at her. Nothing else that mattered, nothing else that made sense.

He was looking at her like she… God, could it be?… she wondered, but as quickly as it had happened, their staring contest was cut short and she found herself questioning everything again.

"I'm no baby anymore!" Janelle interrupted sleepily, drawing Edward's attention from Bella to her, at least briefly, and despite how serious they had both been not a minute ago, Edward and Bella couldn't help but smile at her stubbornness. Even when she was visibly only a blinking of eyelashes away from falling asleep, she had to act like the grownup girl she clearly wasn't yet.

"Honey… you'll always be my baby, whether you like it or not!" Edward told her, holding her higher on his hip and caressing her face lovingly. Yes, she would always be his little girl. "I'm going to get her to sleep again… and then we'll talk, okay?" he then turned back to Bella and said to her when he saw Janelle failing to stifle a yawn.

Of course he knew that this was his fault and that he shouldn't have made Bella wake her up, but there would have been no way he would have been satisfied with just looking at her while she slept. More than anything he had needed to hold her in his arms, to hear her voice, anything that could make her feel more alive than ever to him.

"But Edward…" Bella protested, not understanding why it had been so important for Edward to have Janelle awake when he arrived, to actually have them both waiting for him, if in the end he was just going to put her back to bed almost as fast as she had gotten her out. God, his attitude didn't make any sense at all to her.

"Please!" Edward breathed out softly, his eyes pleading with her to not force him to relive the horror of this night just yet.

No, now what he really wanted was to make the most of every second he could spend with them before the hard reality of their situation came crashing down on him again.

Bella didn't seem to understand his need however, maybe because nothing about this night or about his behavior still fitted together to her so far, but as he sensed her ready to object with him again, Edward let himself forget for a second that nothing had been solved between them yet and instead, he closed the short distance that separated him from her and cupped her cheek in one hand, silencing her the only way he knew how.

The kiss was unexpected and brief, barely a repetitive brush of lips together, but it was enough for Bella to feel it all the way down to her toes. It had been so long since she had felt the contact of his lips against her own, it suddenly seemed surreal to be able to feel them again. In fact, she could have easily believed she had dreamt him, dreamt that kiss, if it weren't for the fact that when she opened her eyes again, Edward was still there, his forehead resting against her own and looking down at her with that something in his own eyes that let her know he had felt the same way.

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Bella couldn't help her reaction and she berated herself when she felt her eyes misting over, hence showing Edward once more how weak she could be when it came to him.

When the first tear rolled down her cheek however, Edward was faster and quickly wiped it away with his thumb before Bella could herself, but the soft contact was enough to make her breath catch in her throat.

Everything was just happening so fast. First she was ready to swear that she hated him, but forgot everything about that the second she feared for his life, then he was here, kissing her, comforting her, almost succeeding in erasing all the hurt he had caused with a short caress of his lips, a soft touch of his hand. How on Earth was she supposed to control herself when he did things like that? She just couldn't, and even less with his next action.

"I'm fine… _we_'re fine, Bella!" Edward whispered as he threaded his fingers into her hair and then cupped the back of her head to pull her to him, closing his eyes to avoid crying himself when he finally felt his two loves in his arms again.

Of its own volition, one of Bella's arms found its way under Edward's jacket, circling around his waist, and she fisted his shirt in her hand, clinging to him despite herself and wishing he would never let her go.

The last thing she wanted of course was to get her hopes up and then see them being reduced to ashes in the end, but as she buried her face into his chest and heard his soft words, she couldn't help wondering if there wasn't a double meaning to them. She _prayed_ that there was more to them than what she heard in fact, because she wasn't sure how much longer she could go on like this before she lost it completely.

"Shh, don't cry, Bella… please, don't…" Edward murmured against her ear, having a hard time not doing so himself, even though he couldn't even say why she was actually crying.

Was it because he had scared her? Was it because of what he had just done? Honestly, he didn't really feel like questioning it, as long as she stayed in his arms, but fact was that he could not stand to see her so upset. He never could and now was no different, no matter how enjoyable feeling her against him actually was.

"Baby, it's okay… shh…" he continued, his lips grazing her temple as he spoke, trying to comfort her as best as he could, even if by the way she was trembling in his arms, he could see it was clearly not working.

The more he tried to reassure her in fact, the more Bella felt like crying and never stopping, and she turned her head into his shoulder so that Janelle wouldn't witness her breaking down and worry about her reaction.

His hand caressed the nape of her neck and Bella gulped for air, willing herself to calm down but failing miserably. Of course she was grateful for what he was trying to do, but right now the kind of help he offered was more than she could take. It was a combination of things in fact, the way he held her, the way he talked to her, the way he stroked her skin, only reminding her of all the tender gestures he used to have when they were still close, or after they had just made love mostly, when he was trying to calm her down or help them relax and unfortunately, it only made her want to cry more for what was no longer.

As if sensing somehow intuitively that her parents needed this, Janelle just rested her head against her father's other shoulder and didn't make a noise, but nonetheless Edward couldn't help but worry for her. He knew just how in tune she usually could be with Bella's feelings and the last thing he needed was to have her breaking down in tears as well. It was hard enough seeing Bella like that, he would surely join in the fun if his daughter started, too.

"Bella… calm down… you're gonna scare Jay…" Edward remarked but so softly, she was the only one to hear him.

Of course there was no saying how much he wanted to put Janelle down on the floor and engulf Bella completely in his arms instead, but he needed the contact with his daughter as much as he needed it with her, and right now it seemed impossible to let go of either of them, or make such choice.

He felt Bella nod against his shoulder almost immediately then, but when she still didn't move or release her hold on him, he kept whispering sweet nothings into her ear and running his fingers at the base of her head in an attempt to help her.

It took her a little while but eventually, her breathing became less shallow and she managed to pull herself together, even if she was convinced that it was going to be short-lived. Something told her that this was going to be a very emotional night and that this was actually only the beginning.

Still looking the other way, she quickly brushed away the last of her tears, and only when she was sure that she didn't look like a nervous wreck anymore, or at the very least was presentable enough to not alarm her daughter, did she turn back to both Edward and Janelle.

The instant she met Edward's eyes however and she felt him lovingly tracing her cheekbone with his thumb, her chin started quivering again, and she quickly lowered her gaze once more. Sensing this, Edward didn't force her to look up but just kissed her forehead tenderly before wrapping his arms completely around their child.

"I'll be back in no time, okay? Everything's gonna be alright!" Edward promised then, and at that moment Bella didn't know how it was still possible or why, but she believed him, she really did, and she knew that one way or another, they actually would be fine.

She watched him climb the stairs with Janelle in his arms, without saying another word, but she couldn't miss just how he still clung to her, and when they both turned to her one last time and Janelle wished her goodnight and blew her a kiss, it took all of her willpower to swallow back the sob that threatened to spill from her lips. She waved back to her and even smiled back to Edward when he did, but there was no saying how hard just doing so and pretending everything was alright was, even for her daughter's sake.

The last thing she heard then before they disappeared from her sight was Janelle's giggles, but even those didn't appease her heart and the second she was sure they couldn't see her anymore either, she walked back to the couch and collapsed on it, her knees finally giving out from under her.

* * *

"Daddy… you're squeeeezing me!" Janelle cried out overdramatically as they reached the first floor, but even as she writhed in his arms, Edward could tell that she didn't mind that much.

"Sorry, sweetheart… it's just that I missed you so much!" Edward told her, loosening his grip on her nonetheless. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her in any way of course.

"You saw me this morning!" she answered with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, like Edward had just said the stupidest thing in the world. Yet she had to admit that she had missed him, too. Very much in fact.

"True… but I missed my little Princess nonetheless!" Edward conceded, before adding tenderly.

"You're silly, daddy… I'm no Princess!" Janelle giggled and refuted, even if she really liked when he called her his Princess.

"To me you are, sweetie!" Edward insisted, pecking her cheek as he spoke the words, knowing that she was still too young to understand that she was even more than that to him.

She and Bella were his life, and he knew all too well that he would be completely lost without them. If he hadn't already gotten that before, after tonight he couldn't have any doubts.

"Is mommy a Princess, too?" Janelle asked innocently, resting her head against her father's shoulder again, when Edward started to stroke her back in slow gentle circles that usually always managed to appease her.

"Nope… your mommy would be a Queen!" Edward answered, thinking that she was definitely the Queen of his heart. The only woman he had ever loved, and tonight, he had every intention to remind her of that.

"Then you're a King, right?"

"I guess, yeah!" Edward shrugged and said, wondering if this was supposed to lead them somewhere. Obviously not, judging by her next question and the easiness with which she changed the subject.

"You kissed mommy!" Janelle asked out of the blue, the playful smile in her voice impossible to miss, even if he couldn't clearly see her face right now.

"I did, huh?" Edward couldn't help but grin at that nonetheless, even if he was sure that Janelle couldn't understand just how much that had actually affected him, or why it still left him feeling all giddy inside despite the circumstances.

Truth was that though he had no idea what that would mean for Bella and him, it was definitely kind of hard to forget since his lips were still tingling from the all too brief contact. He wouldn't be able to say what came over him then, or if the moment had been well chosen or not, only the following events would tell, but he surely couldn't regret doing it.

"Why?" Janelle wondered out loud, since though it wouldn't be the first time she saw her parents kissing, she didn't think she remembered them doing so so openly in front of her, and surely not recently.

"Because I love her… just like I love you!" he told her honestly and planted fierce kisses everywhere his lips could touch, until she was again squirming in his arms and her rich childish laughter filled the place and it wasn't until she moved so much that he nearly let her go, that he stopped and looked at her more seriously again. "Mommy and I are going to make things better… I promise!" he sobered up and declared, knowing that she needed to hear the words as much as he needed to say them.

He would do anything for his daughter and he knew that she wanted them to be a real family again more than anything, but he also was well aware that he would probably not survive if he didn't manage to patch things up with Bella, so this was as vital, if not more, to him as it was to her.

"But you said som'times it's too complicated." Janelle quoted him, a little confused, since she remembered all too well their conversation from this same morning, and then she hadn't gotten the impression that her wish to see things going back to normal again would be granted any time soon.

"I also said that I wanted to try, didn't I?" Edward reminded her, not the least fazed by the fact that she had obviously a hard time believing him, more over after what he had told her and tried to explain to her not twenty-four hours ago.

"Yes… but not hard enough!" she argued back, her tone not scolding or angry, but obviously disapproving, which nearly made Edward chuckle out loud. God, was it really possible that she was only five years old?

"Well, I'm ready to try really, _really_ hard now!" he countered, enunciating each word separately but putting more insistence on the 'really', hoping that she could understand just how serious about that he indeed was.

"And it's gonna work?" nibbling at her bottom lip hesitantly, Janelle couldn't help but ask hopefully nonetheless, her big doe eyes boring into his, and as he recognized the uncertainty in them, Edward found his motivation increasing ten folds.

"I'll make it work!" he swore, gathering the confidence he could have needed from the fact that this would surely not only mean the world to him, but to his daughter as well. "I'll make it work this time, sweetheart… whatever it takes!" he reiterated once more as he clutched her to his chest, knowing that he had already not kept one promise to her today, but that he wouldn't fail to keep another.

**TBC…**

**I know, I know… now you think I'm **_**really**_** mean… but hey, I tried to answer your reviews as honestly as I could, but **_**I**_** never said **_**precisely**_** that "Bella" had been in a car accident! (it was Dr Molina, not me lol and what did he know? He's not the one writing this story lol )If you go back to read chapter 6, you'll realize that I never named her! ;) Now you'll probably all figure out who was in the car accident and what happened if you hadn't before! **

**If not and you're still confused, come back Sunday for more answers! **

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Hey, guys… I know I'm a day late, but here is the next chapter… sorry for the delay but I came back home yesterday night, only to find out that my internet connection had crashed, so I couldn't post sooner…

**Longwhitenights:** actually, Kate is currently living at Rosalie's, but after what happened (when she tried to seduce Edward by climbing into his bed there) Edward decided to go and sleep at Jasper's, so Jasper has nothing to do with Kate, they don't really know each other and she's definitely not at his apartment.

The explanation about how/why doctors thought it was Bella is in here! Thanks once more for reviewing!

**Flora73**: hmm, sorry, unfortunately, like other readers figured, she did have a miscarriage, just not here, since it wasn't even her, but you might want to skip chapter 16 if reading about that kind of things is too much :( thanks for the review as well!

**..iluvtwilight2**: they kind of do so here, but there will be more of that in the next chapter and the following ones! Thanks as well!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: you'll have to tell me more about your own reunion, or at least how it goes! ;) as for your question/assertion, yes, you're right, the woman in the accident was indeed the woman Bella saw at the supermarket, you'll know more about her in a future chapter! (btw, je répondrais à ton PM surement demain si ça ne te derange pas, car la g encore des cours a préparer et jai qu'une envie c d'aller me coucher, mais je te fais ça sans faute demain matin! ) )

**Holy Cross Baby:** the answer is in this chapter… and if you really want to know… no, Edward didn't cheat… more about that in chapter 12! Thank you, too, for your review!

**Jc types**: I thought for sure that you would indeed figure it out! Lol As for Kate, yeah, she definitely has some problems, and it's definitely not the last we see of her! The answer to your question, though, is in chapter 12! Thanks for the feedback as well!

**WeTotallyHaveNoLifeAndWeRock**: no and no… neither Edward nor Bella cheated, though Bella did keep a secret from Edward! Like you've probably already guessed, what Edward saw was definitely not what it seemed it was! (chapter 16 has got all the answers ;) ) Thank you, too!

**Gabs9:** you're very much welcome, and thank YOU for reviewing!

**Edward4life1**: everything will be, eventually… but there is still some heartbreak on the way before they can have their HEA. Thanks for the review!

**Faniac**: sorry for scaring you! Everything should be easier and better from now on! Concerning the conversation Edward heard, yeah, you're right, it was about the pregnancy and/or the miscarriage… more about that in chapter 16 (that one probably was the hardest chapter I have ever written :( ) thanks you, too, for always reviewing!

**I-CAN'T-THINK-OF-A-TWILIGHT-NAME**: I will definitely keep that in mind for the next story… sorry, this one is already completely written, so I hope some parts won't be too hard to read :? Hope you'll like the rest of the story nonetheless… thanks for reviewing!

Well, here goes… sorry if there are still mistakes in this chapter but I just came back from 'THE staff meeting from Hell' and I still have to eat and finish preparing my stuff for my classes tomorrow so I didn't proof-read it a second time like I usually do! Hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless… let me know!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven **

If asked later, Edward wouldn't be able to say how long he had been sitting there by his daughter's bed, silently observing her as she slept peacefully. Time had stopped having any meaning to him a while ago, when making sure she was alright had become the only thing that mattered.

It could be minutes like it could be hours, he really didn't care, he knew he would never tire of looking at her, lying there, her tiny chest heaving steadily with each intake of breath she took. It was as if his eyes were clearly seeing that she was there, safe and sound, but his mind still had a hard time really processing the information. Still he guessed that such reaction was pretty normal, given what he had been through. After all, a few hours ago, part of him had not even been sure he would ever see her again, or _when_ he would if he could.

Of course he knew he should be downstairs already by now, knew that Bella was probably waiting for him to come back, but though he didn't want her to think that he was chickening out or trying to find a way to postpone their talk, letting go of Janelle right now was even harder than what he could have anticipated.

His little baby girl, Edward sighed as he tenderly smoothed back a few tendrils of her hair. It still amazed him that she could have had the strength to tell him all about her day, in almost excruciating details in fact, from the incident with that Tommy boy, to her late afternoon at the beach and how much fun that had been, when it was obvious that she had barely been able to keep her eyes open all through her story, but all in all he had been all too glad to listen to her and learn that _she_ at least had had a normal day, when his had been nothing but.

Not that there had ever been any doubt, but she definitely was his daughter and was as stubborn as he could be himself sometimes: he had seen that once more tonight when after she had asked him where her movie was and he had been forced to admit to her that he hadn't been able to go and get it, she had insisted and begged him to go rent it even if he had to, so they could see it before she went back to sleep.

He had chuckled softly at how cute she looked as at the same time her eyes gradually dropped, she had still tried to talk him into going, but actually convincing her that that was not possible and that she would have to wait till the next day to see it, had been something else.

Fortunately, it hadn't taken her so long to finally fall asleep in his arms, once he had settled down on the rocking chair they still had in her room and for once, he was almost grateful for the fact. He loved his daughter to bits but in all honesty, he hadn't known how much longer he would have been able to keep the constant smile on his face when he was still hurting so much inside and felt like any second then, he would reach his breaking point.

After a few other minutes spent hovering near her in the dark, he reluctantly sat up and after having looked at her one last time and lovingly kissed her forehead, he finally decided to make his way downstairs. He didn't doubt that what he was going to have to deal with now would be even harder and more emotionally draining for him, but he knew he had no choice.

Tonight he would face his demons and his worst fears no matter what it took, because there was no way he would go another day without knowing where he and Bella stood. Or trying to change her mind, if she didn't see things his way.

His legs barely carried him to the living room, and when he reached it and he didn't see Bella right away, he instinctively walked to the bar they had on the left corner of the room, with only one thought in mind. He wasn't much of a drinker usually, and there certainly couldn't be anything strong enough right at that instant to help his case, but whisky would have to do for now.

A trembling hand reached over the counter for the bottle he knew he and Bella kept there for big occasions, and after having nearly filled a glass to the brim, he gulped the colored liquid in barely two swigs. Not surprisingly the liquor burned his throat the second he swallowed it, but he somehow managed to fight the urgent need he felt to cough.

The instant she heard the glass connect with the hard surface of the bar when he put it down, Bella sat up from her lying position on the couch and she was not only surprised to see Edward already there, but clearly to notice that the first thing he had done when finally joining her was to help himself to a drink. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she had not even realized he was back and now she found herself frowning and wondering how long exactly he had been down.

She had gone upstairs herself when she had noticed how long he was taking with Janelle and the scene that had greeted her had almost made her burst in tears again. Edward had been cradling Janelle against his chest as close as he could obviously, and they had both been talking in hushed tones while he apparently tried to rock her into sleep, and she didn't think that she could ever witness anything more beautiful than those instants between father and child.

She hadn't wanted to interrupt them though, sure somehow intuitively that Edward had really needed this moment with his daughter, but there was no saying how much she had envied her at that instant and wished she could be a part of that special bond as well.

If only everything between Edward and her could be as simple as his relationship with Janelle, their life would probably be much easier then. Whatever one of them did or said, there were never any angry feelings, resentment, or just any misunderstandings that lasted between them. They never hurt each other, at least not purposely, and if they ever did, a kiss and a hug was usually all it took to forgive and forget and solve the problem.

Unfortunately, it had been too long since that had been enough for them. Way too long and now she didn't know how to close the distance between them and go back to the time when they were still able to understand each other with just one look, or a single word. She wasn't even sure they would be able to work things out and that independently of the outcome of their discussion tonight, when they were barely able to look at each other when they were in the same room most of the times now.

Yet, Edward had said that they needed to talk, so talk they would, even if it was to see him break her heart in the end. She was almost sure that by the end of their conversation, no matter how it went, she wouldn't have any tear left to cry but still, ultimately, she knew that they would have to go through this to finally put an end to this situation. They had been avoiding this for too long now and it hadn't solved anything nonetheless, it would be stupid to keep going on that way then, no matter how much it scared her or hurt now to take that final step.

She wasn't naïve and she knew that, despite how much she despised that thought, the chances that this talk would mean the end of their marriage were greater than the contrary, but at least after that, she would know where to go from there and maybe, just maybe, she would finally be able to move on. If not for herself, she had to at least try to do this, even if it was only for her daughter's sake, because she surely didn't deserve to have her parents at each other's throats constantly, or be so indecisive about the simplest things. In their will to protect her, they were probably only complicating her life even way more now than they would if they finally came to a decision in fact. But tonight they would, no matter what said decision would be.

As she looked at Edward now, Bella couldn't stop her stomach from churning in apprehension, but the feeling quickly changed into concern when after a few seconds, she realized that he had yet to move from his position and it looked like he wasn't even there with her, or had just noticed her presence yet. Added to the fact that Edward never drank if there wasn't someone to do that with him, she was now sure that this couldn't be good in any way.

She called his name softly as she slowly stood up to her feet but he didn't seem to hear her at first, only making her anxiety grow stronger. It wasn't until she repeated it and started to move to him that he reacted. Yet when he finally turned around and their eyes met, Bella felt the air rush out of her lungs and almost wished he hadn't.

The instant he saw her, Edward knew that as brave as he had been so far, he wouldn't be able to hold out any longer now, and barely a second after her name passed his lips in a broken murmur, he felt his knees finally giving out from under him as the enormity of what he had gone through in the last few hours crashed on him unexpectedly.

Bella had been expecting many things to happen, but she had never been anywhere prepared to see Edward fall to his knees in front of her and start bawling like his very heart was being ripped out of his chest.

Despite everything else, there were no questions in her mind, no second thoughts. She was near him and already squatting down in front of him in a second, ready to help him in any way she could of course, but even with that, she never saw his next move coming.

The moment he saw her there, so close to him, her face only a few inches from his and calling his name with that edge on her voice, Edward couldn't stop himself even if he wanted. He pulled her to him until she was straddling his lap, shocking the hell out of Bella in the process, but he wasn't able to care about that at that second.

His head against her bosom, he shook violently in her arms, holding onto her like his life depended on it, and for a while Bella was unable to do much more but stay there, frozen on the spot.

Her mind worked at a furious rate, trying to find some kind of explanation to what was happening, as well as trying to understand what exactly Edward was mumbling against her chest, but no matter how hard she tried, she kept drawing a blank. The only thing she got more or less clearly was how many times he repeated her name and how he seemed to cry even harder with each utterance that escaped his lips, and that was what finally shook her out of her torpor.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Bella asked bewildered when it didn't seem that he was going to stop any time soon, as at the same time she tried to fight as best as she could the fear that gripped at her heart at seeing him like that.

She pulled away slightly when he didn't answer her and her hands framed his face gently so he would look at her, but as strong as she wanted to be for him, she nearly cried herself when his eyes finally locked on hers.

"Baby, talk to me!" she pleaded softly, needing to know what could have put him in such a state, and she was already swearing inwardly that whatever it took, she would do her best to make it better for him.

Thoughts of their probable divorce were the furthest thing from her mind at that instant and nothing mattered but Edward. This was the man she loved, no matter what could have gone on between them, that fact remained true and unchanged, just like the fact that she could absolutely not bear to see him hurt in any way, whether it were physically or just emotionally.

In all the years that they had been together, Bella couldn't even remember having ever seen Edward cry, except maybe when his grandmother had died a few months after their wedding, and when Janelle was born, and then those had been tears of joy he had cried. Yet none of that had ever come close to this and the sight made her heart ache painfully and her insides twist in dread.

Whatever this was this time, it had to be something dramatic and awful to have him react this way, yet she couldn't bring herself to work out any kind of scenarios, not even just in her mind. She didn't know how she would react herself if anything had happened to his parents or his sister, or… anyone in his family in fact.

"I-I called… I c-called and no one answered… and I-I thought… n-no one answered…" Edward croaked out when Bella called his name once more, but the words were barely comprehensible to her, moreover when they were disrupted by heart wrenching sobs and desperate intakes of breath.

She could clearly see how hard it was for Edward to even say as much, but the little he actually told her only made her worry more since she didn't understand what, or who he was talking about. Then the instant those few words were out, he was again crying openly and clinging to her forcefully like he was afraid she would leave him there alone and Bella felt all the more terrified.

"Edward, you're scaring me… what happened to you? What's wrong?" she breathed out achingly, her own eyes filling with tears at his distress.

"They didn't know… they c-couldn't find her… and y-you… you… a-and Jasper…" Edward started again, still making no sense to Bella. Until he began talking about his best friend and Bella gasped in fear at the thought of what that could mean.

"J-Jasper? Did something happen to Jasper?" she queried urgently, already dreading his answer, and she wasn't even surprised when she felt only half-relieved when she saw Edward shake his head negatively.

She loved Jasper like a brother and it would have been as devastating to her if he had been hurt in any way as it would be if it were any member of Edward's family.

Thinking then that if obviously nothing had happened to Jasper, he had to at least know something for Edward to mention him now, she was ready to move up and call him to get the answers Edward was visibly in no state to provide, when his desperate voice stopped her abruptly.

"No… no, p-please… don't leave… d-don't leave me!… not now… n-not ever!… please… don't y-you ever leave me…" Edward cried out the moment he felt her pull away, even just slightly, and almost instinctively tightened his hold on her.

Just the thought that she could leave him now, even for a mere second was enough to send him into a frenzy and make his heart thud erratically again. No, she couldn't leave him, he wouldn't survive it if she did.

"Edward?… I'm just going to ca-…" Bella's attempt at explaining what had been her intention failed miserably when Edward crushed her to his chest the second she started to talk, and Bella gasped almost in pain with the force of his embrace.

More than by his words that actually barely registered in her brain at that moment, she was shocked to see him react so violently and uncharacteristically, moreover considering their situation. It was as if he suddenly couldn't bear to lose her or something, and she couldn't understand what could have prompted such a reaction.

"No… please, p-please, Bella… I just need y-you…" Edward insisted tearfully, knowing that he was probably frightening Bella, but unable to let go of her for all that. "I-I need you!… J-Just you!" he kept repeating then, like he was almost afraid saying it only once wouldn't be enough for her to want to stay with him.

His words were barely a whisper into her ear, but it was enough for Bella to get that it would only make matters worse if she moved at all. She wanted to know what was wrong with him of course, more than ever in fact given how frantic he was, but if being held by her was the only thing he needed right at that moment, then that was what she would do.

"O-Okay, Edward… I'm here… I-I'm right here… shh, it's okay…" she whispered soothingly, wrapping her arms around his neck and clinging to him almost as much as he clung to her.

His chest heaved painfully against her own and she could feel how his hands gripped at her top almost desperately, but nothing could have made her ask him to release her. Being in his arms again after so long, and that even despite the circumstances, was like being home again, and she wanted to savor the feeling for as long as she could.

Her eyes closed at the sensation of being safely tucked in his embrace again, and like she had so many times before when something was bothering him, she threaded her fingers through his copper hair, caressed the nape of his neck, and kept promising him that everything would be alright.

For interminable minutes, she rocked him back and forth like she would do with Janelle if she needed to calm her down, and though he was nearly cutting her air supply all the while, she chose to pay it no heed. She would let him crawl into her skin if that was what he needed.

She didn't know how long they actually stayed there, in the same position and wrapped into each other and truth be told, she didn't care either since she needed this certainly as much as he apparently did himself, but she was glad nonetheless when she eventually noticed that his cries had died down and that his breathing had become steadier again.

As long as it made him feel better, she was ready to stay in his arms all night if that was what he wanted, but she knew that she could probably help him better if she had all the facts in hands.

"Talk to me!" she lovingly brushed his hair off his forehead and coaxed him gently, when he eventually loosened his grip on her and she was able to look at him again.

Her heart nearly broke however when he looked back at her and she saw the same despair in his eyes she had heard earlier in his words.

"I thought I had… I-I was going to lose you f-for good!" Edward murmured when Bella was convinced that he wasn't even going to talk to her and he managed to stun her almost into silence once more, for that was probably the last thing she had expected him to say.

"Edward?" she uttered, taken aback, not seeing the connection between what could have possibly happened to him to make him lose it like he had and what he was telling her now.

Unless he was talking about what had occurred this morning, but then she didn't understand why he was bringing this up now. She couldn't even rejoice over the fact that he apparently didn't want to lose her any more than she did herself, if that was what he meant, because it just didn't make any sense to her yet.

"It seemed s-so surreal… I kept… I-I kept telling myself that it was… j-just a nightmare… but no m-matter how hard I-I tried… I just c-couldn't wake up… and it… god, it hurt so much…" Edward continued as best as he could, but the instant he pictured Bella lying on the side of the road with Janelle hurt as well again, his voice shattered once more and he was unable to stop the flow of tears, or the sobs and hiccups that racked his body again.

"Edward… I don't understand what you're talking about…" Bella admitted softly, before another thought crossed her mind and she decided to take another road to have her answers and therefore started asking direct questions. "Baby, why were you at the hospital tonight?" she inquired, as she remembered that obviously everything had started with that and with what could have taken place to lead him there.

"Because… b-because I thought y-you were there… " Edward replied brokenly and though he tried his hardest, he couldn't help the tremors that coursed through his entire being when he recalled how it had felt to be there, fearing for her life and not knowing if she would make it or not.

"What do you mean?" Bella pressed on when he stopped there, wondering how he could have thought that, or how that was supposed to explain everything else, from the way he had broken down, to what he had told her so far and even less, the blood on his shirt, or his bandaged hand.

"There's been an… an accident this afternoon… on I405... and there was this woman… and I-I don't know how it happened… but she had… she had your ID… and they called m-me… and I-I thought… I… oh, god… oh, god, Bella…" as much as he wanted to, Edward was unable to finish his sentence, but he didn't need to, for Bella to understand what that meant.

Edward had thought _she_ was the one in that accident. He had thought _she_ was the woman at the hospital and that she was injured, and that was why he had been there when he should have been at home with his daughter. It made so much sense now, and though her heart burst with hope at knowing that he still cared enough for her to be completely horrified by the thought of anything happening to her, she couldn't help wondering how that could be? How something like this could have happened and what exactly he did mean by that other woman had her papers? As far as she knew they were in her wallet, and said wallet was in her purse. This story just kept getting crazier by the minute.

"What?… no, no that's not possible!" Bella denied vehemently, having a hard time comprehending how someone could have made such a mistake. How someone could have called Edward and told him what? that she had been in a car accident and badly hurt evidently considering his reaction, when it was clearly not her?

But then it hit her like a ton of bricks and she couldn't help the sob that tore from her own lips when she put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Oh, my god!… Janelle…" she cried out, without realizing that bringing their daughter in the conversation at this point was certainly not the best way to calm Edward down.

"What?" he instantly asked, his eyes snapping back to hers and his body trembling anew, as he wondered what Janelle could have to do with all of this and why Bella suddenly seemed to know more about this than he did himself.

"This afternoon… when we went shopping… I… Janelle… she wasn't looking and… I-I had my hands full… and when we were in the parking lot, sh-she didn't see the car… I-I caught her before anything could happen, but there was this woman…" Bella rushed out, almost already sure of what his reaction would be to this piece of information, but knowing that she couldn't really explain the rest to him without telling him first about what had almost happened to their daughter.

"What? She _what_?… are you telling me that she… that…" Edward all but shrieked when what Bella was saying registered in his brain. However, before he could even voice out loud what he already knew to be a certitude, Bella interrupted him quickly.

"It's okay, Edward… she's alright… she just gave herself a good scare…" she tried to play the situation down but even hours later, she couldn't stop her own voice from cracking slightly at the prospect of what could have happened to Janelle had she not been quick enough.

Still, considering all he had already endured and how he had obviously completely flipped out when he had believed she was hurt and in that hospital, she didn't think that giving him more details on how close they had actually been to losing their daughter would be very wise. He would probably lose it for good if he knew and that was certainly the last thing she wanted to see happening.

"Oh, _god_…" Edward groaned when he heard her, feeling the same pain he had felt when he had first been told that there was a possibility that Janelle had been in that accident with Bella and therefore, that she could have been injured as well.

His chest constricted to the point he was sure he wasn't even breathing anymore and it took all of his willpower to not break down and cry once more. Just thinking that his baby girl could have really been run over by a car and hurt in any way was more than he could take, moreover with the torture he had had to undergo tonight.

"Edward… you've seen her, she's okay… you've seen that for yourself… nothing really happened…" Bella insisted and instantly cradled his face so he would focus on her and not on the dark images she was sure were already filling his mind.

"Janelle is okay, Edward!" she repeated one last time and she all but expelled a sigh of relief when after a few seconds, she saw him nod his head in acknowledgment.

The last thing she needed was another tear-episode, not when she knew all too well that she wasn't very far from losing it herself and that anything at this point could set her off.

"What… what ha-happened then?" Edward managed to breathe out, once his heart had gotten back to a more or less normal rate and he found his voice again.

At the same time though, he was already mentally preparing the talk he would have with his daughter in the morning or as soon as he could, because if he knew her, she had most likely not been paying any attention to where she was going and he would surely have to remind her the rules they had established long ago.

She had to know that what she had done was wrong anyway, otherwise she would have told him about that, too, when she had related her day to him, but it didn't hurt to have her hearing it again. If that meant that she would be more careful from then on, then he would repeat it to her over and over.

"I-I caught her in time but we just went… sprawling to the ground, and there was this woman, she somehow cushioned our fall… she was there shopping, too… and… and in our fall, we just lost everything… I-I mean… my purse fell… and hers, too… and I guess our things just got mixed up… and then Janelle… she helped us pick everything up… but we weren't really paying attention and she must have given her my wallet…" Bella explained, remembering that she had clearly seen Janelle with her wallet in hands at some point, but she couldn't tell for sure what she had done with it after that. "And yeah… we kind of looked alike I guess… she… she had dark hair, b-brown eyes… it-it must have been her then, Edward and… god, is she… is she alright?" Bella concluded then before asking him about the other woman's condition, even if she was afraid to actually know the answer.

She had seemed so sweet and so young, she really hoped that everything would be okay and that she would pull through it, although considering the way Edward had been, she suspected more or less how critical her state could be and how too optimistic that thought was.

"I-I don't know… when you called… when I-I left… I… the doctors said she was hanging on… but they didn't know if she… if she…" Edward stuttered uncomfortably, a little ashamed that he didn't even know more, and Bella understood what he wasn't saying out loud: that once he had been sure that it wasn't her, he had not really cared anymore, because the only thing he could think about was getting back to her and Janelle.

Edward couldn't tell her however the little he did know. Like the fact that that woman had lost her baby for example, because then he would have to admit that when he had thought it was her, he had really believed her to be pregnant and had been convinced that she had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

No, confessing that now would force him to talk about Jacob Black, and the last thing he wanted right now was to remind her that there was someone else in her life. Not when she seemed to have forgotten everything about him and be concentrating only on him again.

As stupid as it was and even if it was only for a few brief instants before they had to face again the hard reality of their situation, he wanted it to last. He wanted to be her priority again, the only one who mattered to her.

"Oh, Edward…" Bella whimpered when she just tried to picture what Edward had to have gone through while he was there and had been convinced she was the one fighting for her life.

Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought and as she pulled him into her arms again, she couldn't help whispering soft reassurances to him, even when she knew that she would certainly need more than a few '_I'm okay_', '_nothing happened to me, or our baby_' to make him forget all the horror of this night.

She had no way to understand what he had really suffered through, but she knew all too well how she would have reacted herself if it had been the other way around and she had been the one fearing for his life. The pain would have been unbearable and she would have certainly gone crazy, waiting there for someone to tell her if he would be alright. No matter how much they could fight, what could happen between them, or where they stood in their relationship and their marriage, she couldn't fathom a life without him being a part of it.

"Shh… don't cry…" she soothed tenderly, much like he had done to her not long ago, when he started weeping softly again, and she was more than ready to comfort him again and that for as long as she would have to, when he caught her completely off guard.

"I love you, Bella…" he declared out of the blue, his voice hoarse with tears, leaving Bella completely speechless.

She blinked at him a couple of times, sure that she had heard him wrong and yet, she couldn't stop her heart from triple-hammering in her chest, or her blood from pumping faster in her veins when he went on.

"I-I love you so much… you and Jay, you're everything to me… and I don't want to have to leave you ever again… I-I don't want t-to… god, I don't want to d-divorce either… I-I don't care about anyone else and I don't c-care what it takes… what I have to do… but I want to make things right, Bella… please… give me another chance… please, _p-please_, baby… I'd do anything, just don't leave me for good!" his face showed all the agony he had gone through for the last hours, the last months maybe even, all the heartache he had undergone from the second he had thought he was going to lose her, to this moment where he found himself hoping again and there was no way Bella could miss the sincerity in his tone, or how much he indeed needed her to give him that other chance.

This wasn't how he had planned to tell her what he wanted of course, but he didn't care, the words were out and he meant them now more than ever: he would die if he couldn't be with her. He would die if he lost her. He would die if she couldn't love him anymore.

For too long he had taken her for granted, sure that no matter what, she would always be by his side, but today had shown him just how utopian and foolish that thought could be. He didn't control a thing, he didn't have any power over what could happen to any of them and most of all, he didn't have any more time to waste.

A life without her wasn't worth living and if that was the last thing he did, he would make sure she understood that tonight.

**TBC…**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Hey guys, here is the new chapter… It's probably not what you were expecting, I hope you'll like it nonetheless!

**Flora73**: thank you for sticking to the story despite the fact that you don't appreciate some of the choice I made! I know it can be hard to read about anyone losing a child, but trust me, it was hard to write about, too… writing that chapter was probably the hardest I've ever had to write in fact, for so many reasons, so believe me when I say I know how you feel!

**Jc types**: thank you so much, you don't know how much what you wrote means to me… and you don't know how lucky you are to be British lol… I seriously envy you your language, I mean you can express so much with so many different words or in so many different ways! The English language is just so rich, seriously! We don't have that in French or even Spanish (yeah, English is actually my third language, Spanish being actually the second since my parents are both Spanish and I've been speaking it for about as long as I've been speaking French) or at least I don't feel like we do… I don't know, I don't think I would be able to express what I feel or how I see things in my head concerning this story in French or Spanish, which is kind of weird, but I just know it wouldn't feel the same way, if that makes any sense :?

Bella's reaction is partly in this chapter… but yeah, she might not react like you expected her to (hope you won't be too disappointed nonetheless :? ) but don't worry, there's more to come in the next chapter! As for Kate and her reaction, chapter 16 should satisfy you! Thanks once more for the awesome review!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: thank you as well, and don't worry, Bella will tell Edward she loves him… she will even let him know as much in a non-equivocal way! ;)

**IGotObsessiveCullenDisorder**: well, I hope you didn't cry too much nonetheless and that you'll appreciate this chapter then! Thank you, too!

**Iluvtwilight2**: she will realize she's got the other woman's wallet, yes, just not right away! No therapy for Bella and Edward, but yes, they'll tell each other what they believed is the truth! As for Kate, like I said a few lines above, you should like chapter 16! Thanks as well!

**Vampiregurl**: they'll talk, just hope you won't be too disappointed for now! Thanks as well for reviewing!

**Gabs9**: thank you, too… hang on there, some chapters are going to be even harder to read unfortunately! But hopefully this one now won't be one of them!

**Bmhse**: well, here is another chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

**HelenM**: he did… and he will again just in a few seconds! Lol thanks for the review as well!

Okay, here goes… enjoy and let me know your thoughts! (I'm even more nervous than I normally am lol)

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

"E-Edward?" his name was a like a whisper on her lips, but when he added another heartfelt '_please, __Bella_', she found herself asking in a choked sob, "Is that… i-is that what you r-really want?"

The words rang true to her ears, she couldn't deny it, but part of her was just too afraid to hope. Part of her was scared to believe him, only to realize that whatever he told her now wouldn't have much value once the shock would have worn off.

What guarantee did she have that as soon as he would have calmed down, as soon as he would have grasped on the fact that he had never really come anywhere close to losing her and that her life had never been in danger, they wouldn't go back to where they had been this morning, when the most important woman in his life, the person he wanted to be with, was not his wife but Kate Denali.

She didn't think she would survive it if she caved to his pleading now and told him what he wanted to hear, if she admitted what was in her heart and what she wanted and needed herself, and he abandoned her again in the morning.

Objectively, she couldn't negate all that had happened tonight either. From the way he had been with her on the phone earlier, to that brief kiss they had shared and that could mean so much and nothing at all, or yet the way he had crushed her to him like he had finally opened his eyes and realized what was just in front of him and what he could definitely lose… everything he had done or said so far confirmed his words and his impassioned declaration. And that was what she had wanted all along, why she had asked him to leave in the first place, even if it had, at times, seemed ridiculous or pointless, but was it for real now? Was it forever?

"More than anything, Bella… please… tell me it's not t-too late… just tell me…" Edward begged of her as he tenderly framed her face when she obstinately refused to meet his eyes, and then wiped away the silent tears she had not even been aware she had been crying.

Her own hands cradled his and she was actually ready to answer to him, even if she had no idea what would come out of her mouth herself, when she felt him caressing her cheekbone lovingly before tracing her eyebrow just as gently.

His gaze, his face took on an awed expression and she couldn't help but swallow thickly when he spoke again. The more he looked at her in fact, the harder it was for her to control herself and not just cry out how much she still loved him and how much she needed him.

"You're just so beautiful… so beautiful it hurts… my Bella…" Edward whispered to her and even if he had wanted, he couldn't have hidden the emotion behind the words.

His fingers skimmed her face, like he was slowly discovering her again, and he gulped for air himself when he remembered the doctor telling him that his wife had been disfigured.

He hadn't cared about what that would mean for him back then, he had known that it wouldn't have changed in any way what he felt for her, but now just thinking about what she would have had to endure if it had been her nearly broke his heart into a million pieces.

Overwhelmed with emotion herself, Bella had a hard time just breathing past the huge lump that clogged her throat at that instant, but when she finally managed to speak, it wasn't exactly what Edward had been hoping for.

"What ha-happened to y-you?" she asked softly as she carefully took hold of his hand and before she could stop herself, kissed the bandage that was still wrapped around it.

Edward inhaled sharply when he saw her do just that, but somehow he found the strength to answer nonetheless.

"The accident… it was… it was a drunk driver who caused it… and he… they brought him there, too… and when I saw him… he wasn't even hurt, Bella and I… I just lost it… I nearly killed him… I could… I-I could have killed him, Bella… I wanted to…" Edward admitted shamefully and lowered his head almost right away, so he wouldn't have to see the disgust in her eyes when she would understand what he had done.

With retrospect, he realized that it had not been the right thing to do, but nothing could have stopped him then. He had just been blinded by the incommensurable rage that had consumed his insides, and hurting that man as much as he thought he had hurt her had been the only thing he could still think about.

"But you didn't, Edward… you didn't… I know you couldn't, that's just not you…" Bella replied, not wanting to condone what he had obviously done, but understanding nonetheless where he had been coming from.

She wasn't sure she wouldn't have lashed at the first person she would have thought responsible for her misery, if the situation had been reversed and she had been in his shoes.

"Jasper and two policemen… they had… they had to pull me off of him… or I would have…" Edward revealed and Bella finally understood where Jasper was coming into this.

Even if his earlier sentence still didn't make much sense to her, at least now she knew that his best friend had been there, at the hospital, with Edward when he had obviously needed him and she was definitely grateful for that fact.

Her eyes drifted to where Edward's fingers were now fiddling with the hem of her top and as they trailed down his own shirt, she couldn't help noticing the blood there again.

"Is that… is that y-your blood?" she stammered apprehensively, already picturing how bad his hand injury could be if it indeed was.

"N-No… I… I don't think so…" Edward answered, but Bella couldn't miss how he visibly cringed when he took a look himself.

"Maybe you should… c-can you take your shirt off?" she breathed out before she could really think about the wisdom of such a move, and then she blushed slightly when Edward's surprised gaze collided with hers.

Oh, for heaven's sake, this was her husband and they weren't teenagers anymore, his shirt was soiled with the blood of a guy he had without a doubt beaten an inch from his life, and here she was behaving like they had done, or were about to do, something wrong.

She just wanted him to get out of that dirty shirt so he wouldn't have to stare at the reminder of what had happened and what he had done to that man, there was nothing wrong or weird with that, was it?

"Can I?… y-yeah…" Edward croaked out himself when he saw she was actually serious and though his voice trembled as he uttered the words and he wasn't able to understand why, he was already taking off his jacket before she could change her mind and tell him that this was actually a bad idea.

"I'll get you a clean one in a minute…" Bella told him, like that would change anything to the situation, or take off some of the awkwardness of the moment.

Of their own volition, her shaking fingers reached for the buttons of his shirt and she sucked in a breath when at the last one Edward joined her and briefly laced his own fingers with hers.

The contact was all too short for his liking, but soon her hands were running up his torso until they pulled his shirt over his shoulders and down his arms and Edward immediately forgot about the disappointment he had felt not a second ago.

The instant she took a look at his naked chest, Bella couldn't help the small whimper that escaped her lips. Fresh tears stung her eyes, but it wasn't until Edward looked down to himself as well that he understood why.

The funny thing was that he hadn't even felt anything, so out of control he had been when it had happened, but now he could see that he hadn't gotten out of there unscathed.

"Oh, baby… what did they do to you?" Bella moaned out almost inaudibly as her hand reached out and tentatively traced the angry red marks that marred the usual perfection of his torso.

First the long line that barred his chest, from where Edward assumed one of those policemen had exerted a fair amount of pressure when he had used his truncheon to make him let go of the driver. Then the different scratches marks on his shoulders and neck, probably left there from when they had repeatedly tried to take a good hold of him to pull him off of the other guy.

"It's okay… it doesn't even hurt…" Edward whispered to her, relishing as much in the feeling of her soft touch, as in the way the endearment had slipped off her tongue so easily.

It wasn't the first time tonight, but each time he heard it just gave him more hope. Of course he knew she had yet to answer him and that nothing at all had been solved so far, and if he was honest, the wait was slowly killing him, but at least she hadn't bolted off of him like being near him and knowing what he wanted was the last thing she could actually consider herself.

If anything, she seemed to need the contact as much as he did himself and he couldn't act either like asking him to take off his shirt meant nothing at all, no matter how much they were obviously both trying to play it down. He didn't want to read too much into this of course, but the way she was reacting so far, the way she was looking at him, and god, the way she was _touching_ him was anything but innocent.

Unaware of how Edward kept staring expectantly at her, or what her simple exploration was doing to him, Bella couldn't help wondering how much Edward could have actually defended himself and struggled against whoever had obviously tried to grab for him, to have them leave such marks. What's more, if that was what they had to do to him to control him, she didn't want to imagine how bad off the other guy had ended up then.

As her fingers skidded over his skin, she felt him trembling under her touch like he had the very first time she had touched him this intimately so many years ago and she almost smiled at the memory. So much had happened between them since then, only her feelings for him had never wavered.

Consciously, she probably didn't realize herself when she actually started moving, but before Edward could really understand what was occurring, before he could even just picture in his mind that it _could_ actually happen, Bella's lips were replacing her fingers on his skin and that was most likely the end of any coherent thought he could still have had.

His fists clenched at his sides, his eyes closed almost reflexively but as hard as he tried, he couldn't help the soft moan that tore from his throat at the first contact of her mouth with the sensitive skin of his neck.

Very slowly, her lips brushed every evidence of this night and the ordeal he had been through and soothed his damaged flesh better than any ointment or medical cure ever could.

More than once, he even had to resist the urge to pinch or shake himself awake, sure that this was only his imagination doing, yet in the end it didn't take him long to realize that instead of asking himself a million questions, he should just follow his heart and let it lead the way.

If part of him found the strength to briefly wonder if this was right, or rather if this was the right moment, all too soon there was nothing else he understood but the sensations that flooded his senses and wreaked havoc on his body, and the need for her that pulsed through his veins.

A shaking hand tangled through her long mane when she made her way up the column of his throat, his fingers gripping at her hair for dear life, while he still fought for some kind of control, only to find out that this was a battle he had lost long before it had even started.

At that moment, Bella herself wasn't thinking anymore. If she had been, she would have surely questioned her own sanity herself, she would have maybe even taken the time to reconsider what she was doing before it was too late, but at this point she was so far gone that it didn't seem to count anymore.

She was acting on pure instinct here, like she would have if nothing of the last eight months or so had ever happened and she had found herself in this position now with Edward, and she wanting to find a way to appease him. And who cared if it didn't make any sense?

Only as good as her intentions were, it was having just the opposite effect on Edward. If he could definitely not feel any pain, calm and relaxed was the last thing he was, and he knew it wouldn't take much more for him to explode completely.

"Bella…" Edward choked out hoarsely, drawing her attention to his face, if only for a brief moment, but when she met his eyes, he forgot about what he had wanted to tell her, or if he had even been thinking at all.

Bella stared at him somewhat confused herself at first, probably wondering what was happening as well, or if this was really where she had meant to lead them, but he would have had to be completely blind to not see the same need and passion lurking in her eyes.

A second, two maybe, that was all it took them to acknowledge what they both wanted and understand that there would be no stopping them. Who moved first they couldn't tell, but when their lips finally touched, they both felt the power of the kiss all the way through their bones.

Just like the one they had shared a mere hour earlier, it was tentative at first, but neither of them could deny the special significance it held, or how much had changed between them already since then.

Of course many things still needed to be sorted out, talked about, and he well knew it, but as far as Edward was concerned, her actions, her acceptance now, answered his request better than any other words could have and that was all that seemed to matter at that instant.

His lips caressed hers more insistently, getting reacquainted, discovering again, remembering just how good it felt to kiss and be kissed by her, and the feeling only left him yearning for so much more.

How long they kept kissing tenderly none of them knew, it could have been seconds like it could have been hours, but it wasn't until Edward tasted their mixed tears on his lips that he realized they had both been crying.

"Don't cry!" they both whispered at the same time, before chuckling softly through their tears.

Then they sweetly kissed again, once, twice, and Edward even favored Bella with a wobbly smile, but it didn't take him long to sober up again. He felt like he would just die if he didn't let the words out, if he didn't express what was in his heart.

"God, Bella… I miss you so much…" his breathing uneven, his forehead against her now, he murmured softly, fighting to control his emotions, but failing miserably.

He didn't know what he expected to hear in return, but when Bella eventually spoke, he could swear his heart stopped beating altogether.

It wasn't so much the words she said, but more the way she breathed them out, like she had been waiting just as long to be able to say them herself, and at that instant, that meant the world to him.

"I miss you, too!" she admitted and when Edward saw her biting at her bottom lip almost right away, it took all of his willpower to not crush her to him and thoroughly ravish her, right there, right then.

Instead however, he tenderly ran his thumb on it, until Bella had no choice but to release her lip and the instant she did, he trailed his tongue over it, like he meant to take away the small pain she could have inflicted there.

Bella moaned out at the contact and that was all the encouragement Edward needed. His hungry lips closed over hers, more demanding even than they had been till then, and Bella knew she couldn't refuse him anything. Nor did she want to.

She surrendered to him completely, the way he urged her to open up to him making her head spin with desire, and even if she had wanted to resist him, to slow them down, when Edward cupped her face into his large hands and angled her head to deepen the kiss, Bella knew she was lost.

On and on, Edward kept nibbling at her lips, before feeding her his tongue and stroking hers with his own, only parting when the need for air became too urgent and he had no choice but to let go of her, even if only to allow them to fill their burning lungs.

Her reprieve was short-lived however, Edward needing her too much to let her pull away for too long, but she was certainly not complaining. There was no way to misinterpret his kisses now, or their urgency. He wasn't trying to comfort her this time, but just to show her how much she still meant to him, how much he had indeed missed her, and Bella could do nothing but reciprocate the feeling.

Things didn't really start heating up though, until the hand that had been relentlessly caressing the small of her back became more insistent, pressing into her more firmly, and made him cradle her closer.

When they lower bodies eventually met, they both hissed into each other's mouths at the contact, and if Bella still had harbored any doubt about how much Edward could want her at that moment, feeling the prominent evidence of his arousal pressing into her own desire cast them all away.

His name spilled from her lips in a desperate cry, and she couldn't help but gasp in pleasure when his hand ran down to her bottom, before drifting under her top to caress the bare skin of her back. The other one joined it momentarily, before they both gripped her hips and Bella briefly wondered if he meant to stop them there.

Despite herself, she had started grinding into him, hoping to alleviate the ache throbbing between her thighs, but contrary to what Bella could have thought, the last thing Edward planned to do was to stop her. His fingers dug into her sides, bringing her closer, urging her on, crushing her to him and Bella was all too eager to let him.

His mouth trailed a path of fire down her neck, stopping at her collarbone when the strap of her top prevented him from going any further, and he seemed to hesitate there only for a brief second.

He knew what he wanted, there was nothing else he could think about in fact, but he was also very conscious of what that would mean. No matter how much he could want her and want them to go further, he knew that there would be no turning back if they crossed that line. At least, not as far as _he_ was concerned.

Reluctantly so, his hands drifted down her arms until he was holding hers again, and he finally forced himself to look back at her, even when he knew what he could find there.

He shouldn't have needed to worry however, considering that Bella felt that she would just burst from the inside out if he stopped touching her for too long. She craved his hands on her body, his lips on her skin with a passion that scared even herself.

Things shouldn't be as easy, she shouldn't let herself forget all those months of misery she had gone through without him just with a kiss and a few tender words, and yet she couldn't bring herself to fight that unreasonable need to be one with him again, to rediscover what it felt to be wholeheartedly loved by him for all that.

She wanted him, more than she had ever wanted him in her whole life before if that was possible, and she knew she wouldn't be able to pretend she didn't any longer. Not when he was touching her like she was the most precious thing he had ever seen, and certainly not when he was looking at her like he would just die if she rejected him now.

A look at her and the tender kiss she planted on his lips in encouragement was finally all Edward needed so, to understand that she felt the same way he did himself and that she wouldn't regret whatever would happen now between them any more than he would.

His fingers were shaking so much when he reached for the hem of her top that he was convinced he would have to ask her for help, but he somehow managed to refrain himself even if had actually no idea how he did it.

His movements were uncertain, hesitant, like this was actually the first time he was going to see her naked, and he couldn't help but smile at the thought. How ridiculous, when they had done this a thousand times before, when he knew her body like the back of his hand, yet it seemed so different and even more important that he did this right now, than the very first time they had discovered each other intimately.

Very slowly, he pulled the cotton material off her, his breathing becoming more and more erratic with each inch of skin that was revealed to his hungry eyes, and he couldn't help moaning along with Bella when the palms of his hands brushed her painfully hardened nipples.

Needing to have her top out of the way as much as he did now, Bella helped him take it off when he seemed to struggle to get it past her head without catching her hair with it, and she couldn't stop the gentle smile that crept upon her lips at his sudden clumsiness. Edward had never had any problem with that before, but she found it endearing now. At least it proved that he was as nervous as she was herself.

Her smile died on her lips however, when once she had untangled her long mane off her top, her eyes settled on his face and she saw how he was looking at her.

His own eyes were fixed on her bare breasts and she couldn't stop herself from squirming slightly under his intense scrutiny.

For a second, she wondered what could be going on in his mind. If he suddenly found her lacking in that department now, or if she had changed so much since the last time they had been like this, for him to stare at her like this was actually the first time he was seeing her at all, but she quickly forgot the thought with his next action.

His trembling fingers hovered just above her right breast, just close enough for her to feel their presence but not really touching, and Bella sucked in a ragged breath, waiting for him to close the final distance.

When he didn't, she grew worried and even frowned, wondering if there was something wrong, and already braced herself for his reaction. She fully expected him to tell her that he was sorry and that he couldn't do this, but instantly berated herself for even letting herself think so negatively in such a moment.

"Edward?" she called his name ever so softly, holding her breath in anticipation nonetheless.

"Will you… will you still be here if I… if I-I…" he stammered, his voice sounding hoarser than he wanted it.

"If you what, Edward?" Bella urged him on gently when he kept refusing to look up at her and continued to stare at his fingers, only an inch from her skin.

"If I touch you… will you stay with me this time?… or-or will you just disappear like you always d-do?" he gulped audibly and then merely whispered, Bella having to nearly strain her ear to understand him.

The instant she did, she felt her throat clog with tears as the whole significance of his words register in her brain.

She didn't know how that could be possible, but Edward was visibly as insecure about the turn of events as she could be. He wasn't even sure that this was really happening, and Bella nearly cried at realizing just how hard things had obviously been for him as well. It made no sense to her so far yet, but still.

All this time she had truly believed that she was the only one haunted by him and how much she missed him at night, but from what he had told her just now, more than once obviously, he had to have dreamt of her, too, only to wake up alone in the end and realize that she wasn't there with him, that it had only been just that, a dream.

She had a hard time understanding what it meant for them, considering their relationship these last months, but she wasn't about to question it. The only thing that mattered was that contrary to what she had believed, Edward had apparently not been as happy all this time, or even indifferent to their situation, as she had thought he had been till now.

The way he looked at her with his heart in his eyes now and his vulnerability made her chest constrict painfully, and the only thing she wanted was to cast all his insecurities away and promise him that everything would be alright.

"I'm not going anywhere… if you don't… if you don't want me to." she told him softly, her thumb tenderly tracing his bottom lip while her hand palmed his cheek.

Her voice cracked slightly as she uttered the words, but she didn't doubt that he could see just how much she meant them.

With them, she put a stop to any reservation she could still have had herself, and finally acknowledged what she had known all along in her heart. That if he wanted her back, nothing and no one would stop her from being with him. And no matter how much they still had to clear out between them, no matter how weak that could make her look in the eyes of some, she wouldn't back down. They had both made many mistakes along the way, they had both said or done things that they would probably always regret, but it was time they stopped paying for them.

She saw him close his eyes as he heard her and when his hand covered hers and he brought her knuckles to his lips for a gentle kiss, she couldn't help but smile tenderly, yet it was his next move that was really her undoing.

With misty eyes strained on hers, he traced her wedding ring, like he was somewhat surprised to find it still there and smiled weakly at her before kissing it and before Bella could stop herself, she mimicked his gesture, her own eyes brimming with tears as she realized what it represented.

So far it had merely been the symbol of their union, but today it meant so much more than that. Today it said that despite everything they had gone through, they had never truly been able to let go of each other, Edward no more than she could herself, and she wondered how she could have not seen that before.

"Then don't!" Edward croaked out, his fingers lacing with hers, while his other hand cupped the back of her head and brought their faces inches of each other's. "Don't ever!" he repeated huskily, his lips grazing hers in a feathery touch as he spoke, and Bella didn't think she had ever heard more beautiful words.

Overwhelmed, she poured every emotion she had bottled up inside for so long into their next kiss, whimpering softly when Edward ended it too soon for her liking, but that soft sound was nothing yet compared to the way she moaned when she felt his lips descend down the column of her throat to attach themselves to her collarbone. His tongue then trailed down her chest until it stopped, just above her hard and aching nipple and Bella wondered if she was still even breathing.

His hands came to cup her swollen breasts and she was still reeling from the incredible sensation when his mouth eventually closed around one distended nub and started sucking gently on it.

Her head spun from the heady pleasure and she gripped at him for support, sure that she would just fall over if she didn't.

Fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck, she urged him to take even more of her into his expert mouth, and Edward was all too eager to go with her request, the feeling being just as amazing to him as it was to her.

When he considered he had given enough attention to that one, he switched breasts and swirled his tongue around the other protruding peak before engulfing it in his mouth as well, delighted when Bella kept moaning his name and begging him to not stop.

As she arched into his arms in obvious need, Edward kept torturing her, kissing, touching, and caressing until Bella could barely take it anymore, and when he sensed the moment was right, he let his fingers glide down her sides, until they were encircling her hips and grabbing them firmly in his strong hold.

"Sit up!" he all but growled out, his hands urging her up almost desperately, and Bella didn't even think about protesting. Why would she?

Even from where she was, he could smell her arousal, her scent being just as intoxicating to him as it had always been, and he knew he couldn't wait a second longer without baring her to him and seeing all of her. He had gone too long without her, without touching her, tasting her, and there was no way he could control himself anymore, now that he was so close to having her again.

On shaky legs, Bella tried to stand up, the task being nearly impossible to her in fact, but when Edward hooked his fingers through the elastic band of her sweatpants and slowly undressed her while she went up, she really thought that she would just collapse on the spot.

Her more than soaked panties went with her pants, Edward not having the patience it would have required to take them off separately, and he couldn't help groaning loudly at finally seeing her in all her glorious nudity in front of him.

His face only a few inches from her dripping center, a low guttural moan escaped his lips as he inhaled her sweet fragrance, and before Bella could even really steady herself after he had made her step out of her pants, he reached for one of her legs, bending it and supporting it just under her knee and Bella sucked in an audible gasp in anticipation.

She knew what he intended to do before he even touched her, but still, when she felt him run his tongue along her wet folds after so long, she nearly keeled over.

Teasingly, he probed her entrance, his appreciative groans coinciding with hers, until his lips came to suckle gently on her clit and she swayed forward, glad when her hands encountered the bar in front of her and stopped her from falling completely.

Her knuckles almost turned white as she gripped the edge of the counter, but she knew that it wouldn't help much anyway. She wouldn't last in that position, her legs wouldn't support her much longer with the things he was doing to her.

As if sensing her distress, Edward guided her down to him again, but barely let her breathe a sigh of relief before his mouth was on hers again, making Bella growl as she tasted herself on his lips.

Desire unfurling in the pit of her stomach, she kissed him just as hungrily, reacquainting herself with the passion that had been so familiar in their relationship for so many years, but lacking for so long now that she hadn't been sure she would ever feel it again.

Her tongue dueled with his for dominance, her hands gripped at him in desperate need, molding her body to his like she was trying to make him crawl inside of her, but Edward couldn't mind, the need to be as close to her as possible being as powerful and impossible to repress to him as it was to her.

For interminable minutes, nothing mattered but that, and neither of them was able to relinquish their hold on the other. It was the shrilling sound of Edward's cell phone going off in his jacket pocket that finally seemed to bring them both back down to Earth and made them pull off each other, at least momentarily.

"Let it ring!" Bella demanded breathlessly, not ready to let reality crash in on them just yet.

In her state, she didn't even recognize the ring tone and who it corresponded to, and she was just too afraid of who it _might_ be, to let him take that call.

Edward did however, and as much as he wanted to listen to her and ignore it, he also knew that considering the message he had left them, his parents would probably worry if he didn't answer.

"Bella… I have to… it's my pa-…" he started, only to be interrupted by her lips slanting on his again and silencing him mid-sentence.

"Please!" she insisted when they parted, her mouth trailing up his jaw line and reaching his ear before she licked its outer shell. "Please, Edward!"

How was he supposed to think clearly when she did her best to stop him from doing so? How was he supposed to refuse her anything when she was in his arms, naked, responsive and needing him as much as he did? The answer was easy, he couldn't, and truth be told, he didn't want to see anything interrupting them any more than she did apparently.

"O-Okay… I-I… I'll just c-call them back!" he relented even more easily when Bella started rocking her hips into him, making it nearly impossible for him to formulate the sentence.

"Thank you!" she whispered, glad that he wouldn't fight her on this and break the spell of the moment. She wasn't in any hurry to let the real world intrude and come between them for now. There would be enough of that later.

"W-Welcome!" Edward barely got out, before capturing her lips in another searing kiss, quickly forgetting about the phone that still rang a couple of times in the background.

When it eventually stopped, neither of them really noticed or cared, the only sounds they were still able to hear were their ragged breaths and the soft moans they couldn't contain as they both explored skin.

When Edward finally cupped her behind and cradled her against his hard body, Bella knew they were going to move to another level and she couldn't stop the loud keening sound that rumbled from her throat.

On instinct, she wrapped her arms and legs around him even before Edward whispered to her to hold on to him, and she didn't let go until he had moved them a few feet away and gently laid her down on the soft rug lying there in front of the fireplace.

It didn't escape her that this was the very same spot where they had made love the very first time after moving into this house, the same where they had christened the place, and she couldn't help but think that it fitted the situation perfectly.

This could be a new beginning for them, she wanted, no, _needed_ to see it that way, and she would do her best to make it as unforgettable as it had been that first time.

It had to be a girl thing however, because Edward barely thought of that, the only thing that was really clear in his mind was that he was about to make love to the woman who owned his heart, and had from the very second he had laid eyes on her. The woman he loved more than life itself.

Lying on top of her, he couldn't not admire her for a while and as he did, his breath caught in his throat at the thought of what he had almost lost.

"You're even more beautiful than I remembered you!" he murmured reverently, drinking her in, his fingers tracing her face gently, then losing themselves in the hair he loved so much.

Tears shimmered in her eyes at his sweet words, but before they could freely roll down her cheeks, he was capturing them with his lips and took that opportunity to rain loving kisses everywhere he could, learning the contours of her face again while his hands rediscovered the generous curves of her perfect body.

Bella's own hands weren't idle either and as he took care of her, she did some exploration of her own, running her fingers down his back, tickling his sides, until they stopped at the waistband of his pants and she realized that when she was completely bared to his gaze, he was still quite overdressed and she wasn't sure she liked that fact.

As he cradled one of her legs high over his hip, his fingers dancing across her bottom and then along her thigh, she ground into him, swallowing every rasping grunt he emitted into her mouth, and when he still didn't seem to understand what she wanted, she decided to be even more direct and eventually cupped him through the material of his jeans.

Edward growled as she did, and when he just couldn't take it anymore, he kissed her passionately one last time and then leant back on his heels, needing to somehow free himself from the almost painful now tightness of his pants.

As he opened its button and lowered its zipper he all but sighed in relief, only to moan out softly afterwards when Bella stroke his length from where she was, using her foot on him this time and smiling mischievously at him as she did.

"Bella!" he groaned warningly as she parted the flaps of his jeans with her toes and started caressing him through his boxers now, enjoying the feeling despite himself nonetheless and only when it became too much, did he grab for her, knowing that if he didn't stop her, this would be the end of it.

Looking at her sprawled before him, thighs spread and knees bent slightly, made him want to ravish her and reclaim her as his without any more preliminaries, but he knew he couldn't. He not only needed to slow them down if he hoped to last, but he was also well aware of how much he needed to make up for the last time they had been intimate.

When he remembered how he had taken her that morning, how impersonal and almost brutal it had been, he nearly cringed and cursed himself again. But this was a new opportunity that was given to him, a new chance to show her how precious she was to him, how much he did want her and loved her, and he couldn't afford to screw it up like last time.

Still on his knees, he brought her foot close to his mouth, and his eyes still locked on hers, placed soft butterfly kisses on its surface, pleased when he saw Bella gasp for air at his unexpected action.

Deciding that she needed to be taught a lesson for having been so mean to him a short moment ago, he took his time teasing her, paying extra special attention to the soft skin of her ankle, as he remembered how sensitive she surprisingly was there, then kissed his way up her calf, stopping only to taste the flesh of the underside of her knee.

He spent a few seconds there before trailing his tongue along her inner thigh, nearly losing it himself as he heard Bella purr in contentment, but then he smiled as he noticed her breath becoming shallower the more he approached her burning heat.

Deviously, he ignored it, proud of himself when Bella protested when instead of giving her exactly what she needed, he licked his way up the line of her tan, from the juncture of her thighs to her hipbone, and left her feeling highly frustrated.

Seconds after, his lips burned the skin of her stomach, his pace deliberately slow, until he finally reached his next destination. Spurred on by her moans, he traced the curve of her breast with his tongue, before flicking it around her hard nipple, only to stop abruptly when they were both starting to get too much into it.

At this point, Bella didn't know if she should just keep begging him for more until he took pity on her and finally stopped there his sweet torment, or hit him for being so cruel and depriving them of the pleasure they both were seeking.

Of course there was no denying that she liked what he was doing to her, very much in fact, but right now the only thing she really wanted was for him to possess her and make her his again. She wasn't sure she would be able to wait much longer in fact, not with the way she ached to feel him inside of her again after so long.

"Edward!" she gasped helplessly, as he continued to make his way up her body, but kept ignoring her pleas even when she was sure he knew well what she was asking for. She could feel his need as well, pulsing against her thigh and the contact only made her crave him more.

"Patience, love!" Edward whispered, his fingers lacing with hers before he peppered the length of her arm, from her shoulder to her wrist with fleeting kisses.

He barely touched her at all in fact, his lips simply brushing against her skin, but it had the same effect on her it would have had if he had been devouring her with his mouth.

"I c-can't…" she whined before she could stop herself, hearing how desperate she sounded, but not caring in the least.

"Yes, you can!" Edward negated almost playfully, a second before he ran his tongue across the palm of her hand and then sucked a finger into his mouth, making Bella whimper huskily at the sensation.

Sure, part of her was glad that they had managed to find back some of the playfulness they used to share, but now was so not the right moment for that. Not when she was truly convinced that her body would just go up in flames if she didn't have him.

She wanted him, _needed_ him more than her next breath, so how was she supposed to control herself when he did things like this and set all her nerve endings on fire? That was simply impossible and he perfectly knew it, even if he didn't seem to care presently.

His eyes remained firmly trained on hers while he subjected every finger to the same treatment, and much to Bella's dismay, he only stopped to go and attack the sensitive skin of her neck.

Arching into his arms, she held into him for dear life, hoping it would somehow help her get through this, but as she felt him nip at her earlobe, she knew it was no use. He was simply driving her insane and she was putty into his expert hands.

"Edward… please, stop t-t…" she started to protest once more, knowing that she wouldn't stand much more of this, but her sentence was cut short as his mouth crashed on hers again and once more took her breath away.

"Teasing?" he queried hoarsely as they came up for air minutes later and this time, Bella could see that this wasn't as easy for him as she had thought till now.

Still, it didn't stop her from making him understand that she truly found what he was doing to her really wrong.

"_Torturing_!" she countered with much seriousness and a cute little pout on her lips that only made Edward need her more.

"I'm not torturing you, baby… I'm only trying to make you feel good." Edward contested between gentle kisses and Bella sensed his sincerity, even if at that moment it didn't really help her feel any better.

He was making her feel good, there was no doubt about that, but she would certainly feel even _better_ if he stopped taking his time, got rid of his jeans and joined them as one at last.

"Edward, please… I want you!" she breathed out, nibbling at his bottom lip as if to show him how much and to Edward at that moment, more beautiful words had never been spoken.

"I want you, too, believe me!" he concurred, the hand that rested near her side till then bringing her closer, as he pressed himself more firmly between her parted thighs and rub his throbbing length against her as to add more weight to his own words. "So much!"

Not waiting for an answer, he cupped her face and kissed her almost desperately, months of restraining himself finally becoming too much to bear, and only stopped because he knew there was still so much he wanted to do to her before giving in.

When he pulled away, his eyes had darkened so much Bella barely recognized their shade anymore, yet she had no doubt that the emotions swirling into them matched her own, because she felt the passion gnawing at her insides probably just like he did and just like him, she knew it wouldn't be satisfied until they were one again.

Almost reluctantly, Edward left her lips but only to resume his task and give the rest of her body the same thorough attention he had so far. Mimicking his earlier moves, he started with her left arm, slowly descending its length this time, then running his skillful tongue over her collarbone, all the while making Bella chant his name in almost agony. If he took as long to take care of this side of her body as he had with the other, she was just going to die before he finished.

Edward at that moment didn't seem to be in any hurry however, and Bella had to bite her bottom lip and nearly draw blood to not cry out and wake up their daughter when he finally stopped just an inch from her breast.

Had she been in any state to really pay attention, Bella would have recognized that particular glint in the emerald pools that looked back at her at that instant and be prepared, but at this stage, she would have probably not been able to react if the house had crashed down on them and so she didn't see a thing coming.

She felt his free hand caress her flat stomach, sure, but when he reached the apex of her thighs, it was already too late for her to even just think about taking her next breath.

Pulling himself upward just long enough to nuzzle her neck, Edward gently eased a teasing digit into her moist core and groaned even louder than Bella could herself if that was possible.

"You're so wet for me!" he drawled out, half in observation, half in wonder, not quite sure he believed himself what he was finding there, or that it was actually his doing, and that even when he had been witness himself earlier of the magical phenomenon.

Yes, she had said that she wanted him, but her body spoke the words even more powerfully right now than she had before. Her body couldn't deny what he did to her, even if she could maybe want to.

Quite tentatively yet, like he was afraid he would wake up if he tried to have too much at once, he pumped his finger a couple of times inside of her, before nearly killing Bella, and himself in the process actually, with his next action.

Withdrawing with a soft curse on his part and a sharp intake of breath on Bella's, he smeared the glistening proof of her desire over her till now neglected nipple, and growled hoarsely when his tongue darted out to scoop the sweet nectar into his mouth.

Over and over then, he kept licking at the distended peak, until there was no trace of what he had just done, and when he was satisfied he had cleaned all evidence, he went in search of more of her intoxicating essence to taste and savor.

Like she had predicted, the journey down was just as torturous to Bella as the previous one had been and she couldn't wait till he finally reached his final destination. She could only hope that it would be soon, or she might have to get violent on him.

Her body was literally pulsing with sexual energy, and Edward kissing his way down her hip, so close now from where she needed him the most, surely didn't help the matter. Nor did what he did next.

Rolling her slightly on her side, he nipped at the tender skin of her bottom, before moving down her thigh and stopping just above her knee. But when Bella expected him to continue on his path until he reached her foot like he had done before, he let her lie fully on her back again, and eventually brushed his lips up her inner thigh.

As he did, he spread her legs even further apart, so he could settle between them again and get more comfortable, and Bella could only look at him with clouded eyes, knowing what would finally be coming next.

Gaze locked on her, he ran his tongue along her slit, the gesture even more erotic and thrilling now to Bella than it had been before, since she knew that this time he wouldn't stop just there. Or so she hoped, or else she would just have to kill him.

Closing her eyes, she mewed in bliss as he lapped at her entrance, her body arching into his delicate touch, her blood pounding into her ears, until that was the only sound she could still hear.

God, she had almost forgotten how good Edward could be with his hands and mouth. With his tongue. Or rather she had preferred to force herself to forget, because each time she thought about it, she was reminded that now he used his skills with someone who wasn't her.

She didn't let herself think too much about that now however, knowing that the time would come soon enough when she would have to seek the answers _he_ only could provide, and moreover since now, even if they had yet to talk, she had even more questions than she had before. So little made sense now to her that she didn't even know what was true and what was not. What she could believe, and what she definitely shouldn't.

How could Edward be so loving with her, so attentive and caring, if he had really done what she thought he had? How could he look at her with so much love in his eyes now, if the last thing he had wanted was really to stay attached to her in any way? It seemed just impossible that this could be the same person that had so shamelessly broken her heart, destroyed her trust and wanted with another, all the things he had always claimed to want only with her! No, not even the fear of losing her could have changed him so much again, she couldn't believe that.

Words spoken months ago floated back through her mind, the voice she had come to hate so much coming to haunt her once more, even if only for a brief second, but she chose to ignore it for now, this definitely not being the right moment for that. She wouldn't let anything ruin this moment with Edward, because if this was the only thing she could still have once everything was said and done, she wanted to savor every single second of it. And fortunately, Edward was doing a mighty good job helping her with that.

Any thought of anything but him and what he was doing to her were quickly pushed to the back of her mind when he stabbed his tongue into her wet center and teased her briefly before replacing it with his finger, quickly working her toward what she was sure would be an earth-shattering orgasm.

The way he drove in and out of her almost too gently contradicted the hungry way he started to suck on her clit at the same time, and Bella was powerless to stop the shaky gasps that spilled from her lips in reaction.

Edward himself was honestly going half out of his mind, not only with her taste, but with the way she panted huskily each time his tongue twirled around the small bundle of nerves that was without a doubt the source of incredible pleasure. Each time he withdrew his finger and plunged it right back into her dripping core.

Seeing her face contort in bliss and sensing her trembling under his hands, didn't help in any way either, but when another one of his fingers joined the first, he knew she was close and was almost grateful for the fact because he didn't know how much more he could take himself.

Seconds afterwards her moans grew even louder and when Edward finally felt the already tight walls of her sex contracting around his moving digits, he sucked her swollen nub into his mouth again and didn't let go until Bella cried his name in complete ecstasy.

A brief instant, he remained just where he was, while Bella struggled for breath after such amazing sensation, and then he moved up her body to join her once more.

Unable to refrain himself, he briefly stopped when he reached her trimmed stomach and couldn't help covering it with kisses, his fingers skimming over the perfect and flat expanse of the womb that would hopefully one day grow round again and bare his other children as well.

A wave of emotions washed over him at the thought and he had to blink back tears in an effort to control himself and not break down once more. How he could have doubted that this was what they needed, what _he_ wanted was beyond him at that instant, but he wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Not if he still had any say in it.

Not wanting to cry again and spoil the moment, he then trailed his tongue between the valley of her breasts and didn't stop until he was licking the underside of her jaw.

"Hi!" he whispered with a cute and satisfied smile, once their eyes eventually met again.

"Hi, back!" Bella answered just as softly, almost shyly, her arms going to encircle his neck before she brought his lips to hers for what was supposed to be a tender kiss.

Only neither of them was able to still and really control themselves at this point, and it quickly escalated into something way more passionate and needy. Something they weren't able to fight any longer.

"Edward… please, now!" was all Bella had to say to Edward once they broke apart, for him to know what it was she was asking for.

Unable to speak at that instant, he just nodded wordlessly and quickly moved to stand up and get rid of the rest of his clothes.

As he kicked his shoes and socks off, his eyes remained fixed on Bella and he couldn't help but growl when she propped herself on her elbows to not miss a second of it and not surprisingly, he saw his hands shaking again as he tried to discard his pants and boxers without hurting himself in his state, aware that in a minute he would be as naked as Bella and about to make love to her. Finally.

For a brief instant, he closed his eyes as he stepped out of his clothes and drew in a long breath to calm his nerves, and he only realized his mistake when the second he opened them again, he noticed that Bella had crawled on her hands and knees and was now only inches from his painfully hard member.

Tall and proud he stood before her eyes, and Bella couldn't help but lick her lips in anticipation, making Edward almost spill his seed right there as he caught the gesture.

With trembling fingers and a low groan rumbling from her chest, she reached for him and softly caressed the flesh that she hadn't seen or touched in so many months.

She heard Edward's sharp intake of breath and the hoarse way he uttered her name at the first contact, but she paid it no heed at that instant. The only thing that mattered was how much she had missed this and how much she wanted to taste him again and therefore, the next second she did just that.

Still holding him gently in hand, she ran her tongue from base to tip and then before Edward could even react, closed her lips around his swollen sex.

On instinct, one of Edward's hands went to her head and his fingers tightened into her hair, even if only for a few seconds.

A few seconds, that was all he would grant her and himself. A few seconds to enjoy again the feel of her mouth and hand on him, to remember and then he would stop her, he swore, or he knew well that they would have to wait for the rest if he didn't.

Only Bella was making the task almost impossible with the way she sucked gently on him and kept caressing his length when she released almost all of him.

She was driving him insane, all the more when he could see how eager she could be herself, how she seemed to need and want this as much as he did and it was only when her hand drifted down to cup his sacs, that Edward understood that he didn't have much choice here. Either he put an end to this, right there, right then, and that even if there was a good chance it would kill him in the process, or he went all the way.

In any other circumstances, the choice would have been easy, but it had been so very long since the last time he had actually had sex, that he wasn't sure he would be able to last much longer now, and even less go for another round if she brought him to completion this way.

"Baby…" he croaked out when he realized that he was only seconds away from literally blowing it, but then he expelled a soft curse when Bella looked up at him and their eyes connected.

Oh, boy, he knew that look and it didn't bode well for him.

Left with no other alternative there, Edward forced himself to take a small step back, knowing that Bella had obviously no intention of stopping before she was rewarded with what she was looking for.

"Yeah?" she whispered, the small smile on her lips confirming that she knew exactly what she was doing to him. How could she not, when she still had him hard and swelling under her touch, despite his attempt to pull free of her.

"You _have_ to stop!" Edward breathed out, his hand grabbing hers at last before he entwined their fingers together.

The instant he did, he saw her ready to protest but before she could, he was down on his knees in front of her and she could only gasp, as his lips covered hers in a scorching kiss again.

Her arms went back around his neck almost immediately, needing something to anchor herself before her trembling legs made her fall completely off, as at the same time one of his wrapped around her waist and brought her closer to him.

One hand tangling in her long mane, he angled her head to deepen the kiss, and Bella moaned right along with him when not only his tongue delved into the deepest recesses of her mouth, but at the same instant their bodies molded into each other, the hard points of Bella's nipples burning holes into his own chest.

Blindly, his fingers glided down her smooth thigh and lifted her now bent leg over his hip, and neither of them could stop the loud groans that escaped their lips when their naked lower bodies connected at last and they both felt how much they indeed wanted each other.

Draping her other leg around his waist as well, Edward was unable to wait any longer and as Bella held on to him, he lowered her to the floor again, his own body following hers until they were aligned and ready to be joined again.

"Love me again, Edward!" Bella all but begged, her body writhing wantonly under his, while one of her hands reached out for him with the intention to guide him to her.

"I never stopped, baby… never…" Edward vowed emotionally as he felt her rub his length against her dripping center, Bella's words taking a whole new meaning with his answer and only contributing to add more to her already growing confusion and suspicions.

She couldn't say a word about them though, as Edward's lips brushed against hers once more, then down her cheek, the soft pulse under her ear, the hollow of her collarbone, making her forget about anything but the feel of him and what he was doing to her.

His breath ragged, he still somehow found the strength to pause just long enough to regard Bella and make sure she was really alright with what was about to happen now.

"Are you sure, Bella?" he demanded as he momentarily stilled her hand, his heart beating erratically in his chest, even when he knew that she had more than proved tonight that she needed this as much as he could himself.

He knew it was pretty ridiculous to still hold on to his insecurities, but he needed to be certain she understood how much this meant to him. If they did this, if she let him make love to her now, he would want forever with her again, and she needed to be sure that she was ready to give him just that. He wouldn't settle for anything else after the agony he had had to endure to reach this point and be with her here again.

"Are you?" Bella whispered back, her free hand coming to stroke the side of his face, the gesture and the words similar to those of that night so long ago when they had first become lovers.

He had asked her the same thing then and she had known that he wouldn't do anything, wouldn't try to go any further, if she wasn't certain that this was really what she wanted, if she had had even the slightest doubt about the rightness of the act.

She read the same need to be sure in his eyes now, but just like then, she knew that this wasn't only about her. Like the first time, they were in this together, and like the first time, they both realized that taking the next step would change their relationship, hopefully for the better once more.

Neither of them had voiced their answer out loud back then, no more than now, but they didn't need to. There was no denying their feelings -or their bodies needs and craving- and both knew that this was the right thing to do.

At that instant and with their next kiss, Bella admitted to herself that she was forgiving him, and Edward convinced himself that she was choosing him, and that was the only thing that seemed to really matter to them then.

Releasing her hand, Edward let her bring him to her heat, and eyes firmly locked on hers, he let himself sink into her depths for the first time in what felt like years to him, the sensation leaving them both breathless and quivering in reaction.

It was only when he was fully sheathed into her velvety walls, that the full impact of what they were doing crashed in on him and for a moment he felt completely overwhelmed with emotion.

"Edward?" Bella murmured as he rested his head against her shoulder and at the same time, she tried to control herself as best as she could as well and not simply break down in tears once more at the sensation of having him inside of her again at last.

"J-Just give me a minute… it's… it's been so long…" she heard him breathe out against her skin, and instantly wrapped her arms around his still but yet trembling body, totally understanding how he felt.

For a few seconds, they both remained almost completely unmoving, relishing in the incredible feeling of being one again, and when Edward eventually propped himself on his forearms, there was no way for them to miss the tears brimming into each other's eyes again, even despite their efforts.

"I love you!" caressing her face like she was the most precious thing in the world to him, Edward couldn't help but whisper what had been true in his heart for as long as he could remember, even if his mind had tried to make him forget it at times.

It had all been in vain however, because now more than ever, he knew that no matter what, he wouldn't be able to love another. And as his gaze remained on hers, even before she had any opportunity to speak the words, he discerned that something he had seen that last time they had made love as well, but had been so quick to negate and reject then.

She didn't need to say anything because like always before her eyes reflected every emotion she was sometimes unable to put into words, and this time he didn't question them. The passion he recognized, the craving and need he understood, and the love he clung to it like a drowning man to his lifeline.

At that instant, whatever had happened during the last few months almost didn't matter, because Edward understood something he had only dared hope for till then. That whatever the reasons she had turned to another man had been, there was a small part of her that had never stopped loving him, never stopped wishing there could have been another way, and with that realization he let go of the pain. Because of that and also because he knew he was for the most part responsible for the downfall of their marriage, even if he refused to give it too much thought right now.

But he had learned his lesson and after tonight, he wouldn't ever give her a reason to doubt him, a reason to seek into someone else's arms what she couldn't find in her own husband. After tonight, he would become her everything again, just like she had always been his, even if he had maybe let her forget it too often in the last few months… or worse, years.

Starting right now, he promised himself as he pressed his lips to hers again and ever so gently started to move inside of her, picking up a slow rhythm that belied the fire unfurling inside of them.

Steadily, he drove in and out of her, enjoying each thrust to the fullest, plunging as far as he could go, and then withdrawing till Bella barely felt him anymore, and she could do little more but to let him lead them.

Their lovemaking was nothing but slow, tender, unhurried, lips constantly seeking, fingers relentlessly stroking parts of skin that seemed to ignite under their gentle touches, and there wasn't a thing they could do to stop the passion cresting between them.

No words were needed, their grunts and the scent of sex permeating the air spoke of what was happening and what it meant. Every kiss, every touch, every stroke like a whispered promise for a better future. A future they both hoped they would see and face together, even despite the circumstances.

As their need to find release into each other's arms grew even stronger, thoughts of Jacob, Kate, or anyone else were nonexistent for once, because the only thing they both remembered was how much they still loved each other. Despite the fights. Despite the heartache and the tears. And despite the deception they still believed was true.

As Edward kept sliding in and out of her, Bella felt her heart racing in her chest till the point she truly believed that it would just burst out of it, but she wouldn't have stopped him for anything in the world, even when the pleasure coursing through her threatened to suffocate her.

Her hands gripped his sides as she rose to meet his thrusts, her fingers briefly grazing the puckered skin above his hip where a bullet had pierced his flesh over a decade ago and sealed their fate, and they found themselves smiling at each other, albeit wobbly, in remembrance. Apparently good things could come out of something terrible and they had both experienced it, that was why they knew that they could go through this as well.

Slowly, as they lost themselves into each other, they felt the gaping void that had been in both their hearts ever since they had had to part, being filled at last, but even with that they still needed more.

Seeing her writhe almost desperately under him, Edward understood right away what she wasn't expressing out loud, and as much as he liked to be the one in control, he loved when she took it even more to not gladly relinquish it to her.

With barely any effort on his part, he turned them over, the smoothness of the move speaking of how many times they had performed this dance before, and they both growled when Bella impaled herself on him the second she was on top.

Immediately after, they were kissing again, and Edward pressed her against him once more, one hand caressing the small of her back while the other rested high between her shoulder blades, not quite ready yet to let go of her warmth, or the feel of her against him.

Not that she seemed to mind herself, the way she rubbed along his length, undulating sensually over him, the sure sign of how much she appreciated the position herself. On and on, she ground her pelvis against his, creating what Edward was sure was a delicious friction on her clit, and he could do little less but encourage her as she did. There were simply no words to express what it did to him to see her, _feel_ her use his body to pleasure herself.

His tongue chased hers over and over, tasting, tangling with hers, and only enhancing the incredible sensations, and nothing would have made them part, if it weren't for the need for air.

"You're so beautiful… so beautiful it hurts… my Edward…" Bella murmured as she took on the dreamy expression on his face, repeating the words Edward himself had spoken moments ago, the same emotion tainting her voice and causing a similar tightening in their chests.

Edward's heartfelt answer died on his lips however, as Bella's tongue darted out and licked them before plunging into his mouth and mating with his once more.

Interminable minutes afterwards, when they came up for air, Bella straightened herself on top of him and for a fleeting second Edward found himself wondering if this had been such a good idea after all and if he would survive the experience.

Her fingers entwining with his, she slowly started to rock her hips into him, delighted when she saw the pleasure etching on Edward's gorgeous face.

For what seemed like eternity, she raised herself up and down above him at a torturous pace, but Edward wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted to savor each second, remember every single detail of it.

Sighs and tiny gasps of rapture spilled from her own lips, and he couldn't remember having ever seen anything sexier than his beautiful wife riding him to completion, the candles light drawing patterns over her skin as she moved on top of him and making the sight even more breathtaking.

Edward had honestly lost count of how many times she had already breathed out his name with that raspy tone that drove him wild, but the sound was music to his ears and he just couldn't get enough of it.

As her movements became more frantic then, he bracketed her hips, helping her as she gained speed and he ignored how her nails racked almost painfully over the back of his hands as he did.

He quickly forgot about the discomfort anyway when the next second she bucked wildly against him and her own hands lost themselves in her hair, and as she gathered it up on top of her head, he had to gulp for air. His eyes were immediately drawn to her graceful neck, where tiny droplets of perspiration pearled and clung to her skin now, and it took everything he had to not go and lick every single one of them.

"God, Bella!" he growled hoarsely, a mere second before he sat up straight and engulfed her in his arms again, having stayed as far away from her and for as long as he could.

Chest to chest, his fingers digging into the tender flesh of her bottom, he captured her mouth, his lips bruising hers in the process, but Bella found no reason to complain, she was too close for that and this could only help her quest.

The wave of pleasure that seized them both soon after made them groan so loudly then that Edward thought for sure that they had woken up Janelle and that they would see her coming down and catch them in the act any second now and yet, not even knowing how embarrassing that would be, could he make himself move from the soft and hot confines of Bella's body.

Still, he knew he wasn't very far from losing it completely now, but nothing would have made him stumble over the edge without doing his best to take her with him.

While his fingers drifted between their slick bodies, his lips wandered down her chest, and as he pinched her engorged clitoris, he tugged on one hard nipple, immensely pleased when he was immediately rewarded with a sharp cry of satisfaction on Bella's part.

She trembled against him as he suckled greedily on the small nub still in his mouth and a moment later, he finally felt her tight walls contracting around him, not the least surprised when shortly after, he was losing control himself and bathing her warm and still pulsating depths with his essence.

Seconds afterwards, Bella still clutched to him as strongly as he did himself as he quavered and still pulsed inside of her, and Edward was sure that there couldn't be a better feeling in the world.

"Edward!" she whimpered his name once more as she neared the end of her orgasm and as he let go of her long enough to look at her, he finally noticed the tears slowly trickling down her face, the sight making him sober up faster than anything else could.

"Shh… shh… I'm here, baby… I'll always be here!" he promised and gently pulled her to him again, his arms wrapping even more tightly around her, and though he was very close to crying himself, he was determined to stay strong, at least for her sake.

He felt her shuddering in his embrace still a couple of minutes, and all the while he held her lovingly, threading soft caresses and gentle kisses that helped bringing heart rates and heated skins back to normal, and he refused to relinquish his hold on her until she was completely calmed down.

During that time, he briefly wondered how she would react now that the sexual tension had somewhat ebbed down, if she would perhaps regret what they had done nonetheless, but he quickly pushed those thoughts aside, refusing to see them ruin the moment.

He had so much to tell her yet, so much he needed to hear from her as well, but though he knew they wouldn't be able to indefinitely postpone the moment, he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Right now, he just wanted to make the most of those precious minutes where he could still have her in his arms without anything or anyone coming between them.

Gradually, he felt her breathing evening out and only then did he let go of her, even if he didn't let her move very far. Tenderly he caressed her face and tucked loose strands of damp hair behind her ears, his eyes never leaving hers, and he was hit once more with how lucky he was to still be able to share this moment with her.

"I love you!" he repeated for the umpteenth time this night, like he was somehow trying to make up for all those months they had been apart and he hadn't been able to tell her so. But god, how he meant those words.

"I love you, too, Edward!" Bella breathed past the huge lump that cloaked her throat, still quite not believing that she could say those words again.

It had been so long, way too long since she had let herself _feel_ them without pain or any regrets, and it felt good to be able to do so, so freely again.

Their soft declarations were followed by a few murmured words and tender kisses that spoke volumes about their feelings and their state of mind, and neither of them really thought about moving from their sitting position, until Edward's protesting back forced him to lie down completely again, but not without taking Bella with him in the process.

Edward didn't even consider easing out of her though, wanting only to relish in the feel of her in his arms and bathe in the aftermath of their lovemaking, and that for as long as he could.

No word was really needed between them then either, they just savored the feel of their cooling skins against the other's and the fluttering of fingers that just couldn't stop touching, the silence around them comfortable for once.

Lying completely on top of him, head over his beating heart, Bella smiled when she felt him play with a few locks of her hair, glad to see that obviously his obsession with it had not disappeared with time, like she could have believed.

"Your hair is so much longer." Edward whispered out of the blue, almost thoughtfully, like he couldn't quite believe how much it had grown since the last time he had had any opportunity to run his fingers through it.

"I was thinking about having it cut." Bella answered absentmindedly, a little distracted by the way the fingers of his left hand danced high over her hip.

"NO!" Edward all but cried before he could stop himself, and then blushed slightly when Bella looked up at him wonderingly.

"No?" she propped herself on one hand and queried, an eyebrow raised in question, but the little smile on her lips proved that she had not really minded his exaggerated reaction.

"I-I mean… I… I l-like it like that…" he stuttered sheepishly, knowing full well that he couldn't exactly stop her, if cutting it was something she really wanted to do.

"I won't then…" Bella told him after a few seconds just spent observing him, while he squirmed before her eyes.

Then she resumed her position, only this time instead of just lying there, she started kissing the expanse of his chest and Edward forgot anything about haircuts, or even his previous embarrassment.

It wasn't long before the brush of her lips against his naked skin became more insistent, and soon she was working her way up his neck, making Edward wonder if she really realized what this was doing to him.

He didn't know if it was a conscious move or not, but when she started shifting on top of him, any doubt about what she could want or where this was heading, flew out of the window and he wasn't even surprised to note how easily the rolling movements of her hips coaxed his softening member back into awareness and caused him to stir to life again.

"Bella… baby…" he weakly moaned out as she licked a trail up his jaw, but then unable to wait any longer, he turned her face to him and plundered her mouth in a foretelling imitation of what he planned to do to her body in a minute.

Already, he was thrusting ever so slightly inside of her again and Bella couldn't help but groan at the sensation.

Momentarily tearing her mouth from his, she fixed him a few seconds, and as Edward saw her nibbling at her bottom lip, he wondered what could suddenly be going though her pretty mind. It was as if she wanted to say something, but couldn't bring herself to.

"What?" he questioned softly, his lips brushing over hers as he spoke and forcing her to stop with her nervous habit.

"Maybe… maybe we should take this upstairs?" she whispered at last, giving Edward a better idea of where her hesitation had come from.

Going upstairs meant that he would probably spend the night, but like he could refuse such an invitation, huh? He didn't see himself going anywhere else at this point.

"Y-Yeah!" he answered back, and if his voice cracked slightly, it was only because of what it meant to him, and certainly not because he had any doubts that this was what he wanted.

The scorching kiss he gave her in reassurance just after his acceptance appeased Bella's fears as well, just like his reaction when she tried to move off him.

There was no way she was making him leave her heat now. Not when he was as hard as a rock again.

"Uh-huh!" he was quick to say before he propped himself on his forearms and asked her to grab for the blanket just within her reach on the couch.

Though he knew that the possibilities of seeing that happening were slim now, given that if they hadn't already woken up Janelle with what they had done and how vocal they had been at times, chances were that they wouldn't by just walking upstairs, he didn't feel like taking any risk.

If she was to stumble upon them, he would definitely have a hard time explaining to her what they were doing, but at least she wouldn't be seeing anything she shouldn't.

When Bella got it, he draped it over her back and then, before she could even react, he rolled them over so that he was on top once more.

The move caused him to drive deeper into her core and before he could think about it twice, he found himself pumping slowly inside of her, Bella crying his name when it became too much being the only thing that stopped him from going all the way there and say the hell with their plan.

Quite reluctantly still, Edward eventually moved up to his knees and as Bella held on to him for dear life, picked her up while she wrapped the blanket over both of them to cover their nudity, or at least as much as she could.

Before exiting the room, they blew the few candles that were still burning, Bella having already switched the lamp off before Edward had even come down earlier, and it was almost blindly that he made his way up the stairs with her tucked into his arms, neither of them really caring about the mess they were leaving behind them in the living room.

More than once on the way, Edward felt his knees buckling under him and it was only by sheer miracle that he didn't drop Bella with the things she was doing to him.

How he just managed to walk the distance when she was doing her absolute best to drive him crazy, licking here and there and everywhere she could reach, purring into his ear, undulating against him, he didn't know, but he had probably never felt such sense of relief as he did when they finally reached the entrance of the bedroom.

The instant they were in, Bella dropped the blanket down and Edward kicked the door closed behind them, and before any of them could even understand what was happening, he had her pinned against it and was ramming into her again, like they hadn't just made love minutes ago.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella groaned as she felt his full length driving into her over and over again, her whole body trembling with the force of his thrusts.

"I know… I-I … god, this is… insane… we…" Edward replied, aware of what he was doing but unable to bring himself to slow down.

"D-Don't stop!" Bella pleaded and cut him mid-sentence, sucking hungrily on his bottom lip to stop the flow of words. She didn't want to rationalize this. Not now.

"We… we haven't even t-talked yet!" Edward managed to get out nonetheless, even if how he could was beyond him.

Yeah, talk, _that_ was what they were supposed to do, but for the life of him, he just couldn't stop.

For all answer, Bella clung to him and reclaimed his mouth once more, causing any word he could have still tried to utter to get lost, and when they eventually parted for air, he couldn't even remember why he had been protesting.

"Later!" they both breathed out at the same time, both conscious of what was yet to come, but still too caught up into each other to let their questions and their need to know where they really stood interfere for now. They seemed almost irrelevant in the light of what had happened -and was happening- between them tonight.

They probably had a long way just even reaching the bed, so talking seemed even further away, but at that instant neither of them really cared, because if there was one thing they were both convinced of now, it was that after so many months apart, hurting and being miserable, they were finally on the road to recovery. Finally healing. Together.

**TBC...**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN** : Hey, I've been quite busy these last few days, that's why I couldn't update sooner but here is the next chapter !

**Iluvtwilight:** you won't have much longer to wait… here it is ;) of course they couldn't live in bliss indefinitely and not tell each other some things! Thanks once more for reviewing!

**IGotCullenObsessedDisorder**: that's normal, you review, I thank you! Lol (btw, love your username, I've seen that they even make T-shirts with that written on them, I might get one at some point lol) They will find happiness eventually, yes! This story definitely has a HEA ending! Thanks, too, for the review!

**Flora73:** I'm glad you like it nonetheless then! Thanks for reviewing as well! :)

**Jc types**: they'll bloody talk now! Lol or at least they're gonna have to clear a few points! As for why you have to wait until chapter 16 to see Kate get what she deserves! Well, let's just say that after all the drama, Edward and Bella needed some time to themselves… and since Kate is supposed to be away for a few weeks, I had to wait until she returned to deal with her again lol

Concerning your language, I personally don't see it as pompous, not at all! I really do love the fact that it's so rich and has got so many words to say the same things! At least I'm not always repeating myself, or using the same words to express what I want to say! I've even thought once of translating my fics in French, but I know it just wouldn't be the same, and that I would lose a lot in translation! I can't even watch a series or DVD in French if I know I could watch it in English, I just go mad when I hear how they translate some things! (let me tell you, Twilight sucked big time in French, I was literally yelling at the TV when I watched it in French with one of my friends –poor girl thought I was nuts lol- there was no emotion at all in the dialogues, the voices they choose for Rob and Kristen made them look like some retarded, puerile, and whiny teenagers, and I'm not even talking about the dialogues in themselves, they changed something that was really beautiful and meaningful in English, into something that made me want to gag, so silly and childish it sounded in the end!) So nah… English totally rocks! ;) thanks as well, for the feedback! ;)

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: there'll be more of that in the chapters from now on! :) Concerning Kate and Jacob, things will be clear out, at least partially! Don't worry, they'll clear the major points, and will keep doing so for a while even if they don't talk about everything in one night! As for Kate, well, she's a psycho, so how do you think she will react? Lol thank you for reviewing as well!

**TigerEyez7**: they should be happy from now on, yes, even if they'll still have to deal with some heartache! And like I said before, Kate finds out in chapter 16! Can't wait to see your reactions lol thank you, too!

**Gabs9**: glad you did, hope you'll like this one as well! ;) thanks for reviewing once more!

**Bkamcbc**: thank you for the smiley as well! ;) lol

Alright, here goes… just one little thing, I don't know why but the board doesn't want to take the email address, so just imagine there is a **'at sign'** instead of the **(at)**! Enjoy! (hopefully it will eventually work, because I've been trying to post for more than an hour now and the board keep messing with what I post every time I try to separate the parts and it's seriously starting to drive me nuts and piss me off!… sorry so for the TWTWTW in the middle of everything but apparently the line of separation is not working! :?)

**Chapter Thirteen.**

He knew when she would wake up before she even really stirred, the way she seemed to become more agitated in her sleep being a dead giveaway.

She couldn't have been asleep more than an hour, but he was pretty much sure that she had needed the rest. He would have probably tried to get some himself actually, if he hadn't been so riled up.

Right now, he wouldn't even be able to close his eyes if he were paid for it. His mind was flooded with memories of her, of her scent, of her touch, of what they had done and how many times they had done it. It still all felt so incredible that he had a hard time telling himself that it had all truly happened.

When they had been younger, before they started to drift apart, their lovemaking had sometimes been pretty wild, but tonight had been something else altogether, even for them. Once they had started, they had simply gone at it like animals and had only stopped once they had barely been able to move anymore. He actually couldn't even remember how and when they had managed to reach the bed, but he was surely not going to complain.

They had talked some afterwards, nothing much though, just some trivial conversation, but when Bella had slowly started drifting away, Edward hadn't had the heart to force her to stay awake, no matter how much he had wanted to prolong the moment. He had let her be and had just been looking at her ever since, propped on one elbow, relishing in every soft sound that passed her lips, every slow raise of her chest, every little move she could make.

No matter how many times he told himself this was true, he just couldn't believe that he was really here with her, in this room, in their bed, spent after hours of lovemaking, and that was most certainly why he just couldn't bring himself to try and find some sleep as well. He was just too afraid that if he just as much as closed his eyes for a second, he would open them to the sight of her gone and would find himself alone, brought back to reality in the worst possible way, and he just couldn't stand the thought of that happening.

Like it had a mind of its own, one of his hands moved to stroke her face, brushing away the few silky strands that obstructed his view, the contact soft, but he couldn't help smiling nonetheless when Bella turned into his touch.

Her eyes remained closed a few more seconds, but he knew that she was aware of her surroundings now, and he waited with barely contained excitation for her to turn that pretty face of hers up to him and look at him again.

She didn't do so right away, but Edward couldn't mind then as she just moved closer to him instead, much to his pleasure. Yet that didn't stop him from holding his breath when he finally saw her eyelids flutter open.

It didn't take her long then to realize where she was apparently and his heart beat a little bit faster when her gaze collided with his.

"Hi!" she smiled softly, albeit almost shyly, and he immediately felt his insides turning to mush all over again.

No matter how many times he could have seen her woken up near him in the past, or how many he hopefully would in the future, the sight of Bella just opening her eyes was one of the most beautiful he had been given to see.

"Hey." he answered just as quietly, moving forward to peck her lips almost right away.

He had been dying to do just that for a while now, and was all too glad that he didn't have to stop himself any longer.

"I drifted off, huh?" Bella mumbled, burrowing into his warmth, obviously a little embarrassed that she hadn't been able to stay awake when she was almost sure that he hadn't gotten any sleep himself. It hadn't lasted long though apparently, if she judged by the numbers on the alarm beside them.

"It's okay… I guess I just tired you out, huh?" Edward whispered back quite smugly, but the way he kissed the crown of her head as he did showed nothing but affection.

"You could say that, yeah." Bella conceded with a little chuckle, not even wanting to remember how many times they had actually done it before they had managed to stop touching each other. They had probably set a new Guinness record. "What about you?"

"Couldn't sleep… besides, I didn't want to miss out on you snoring softly." he said all too casually and smiling, hiding the real reason behind his unwillingness to go to sleep.

"You… I don't snore… you jerk…" Bella retorted, feigning hurt as she playfully swatted his arm and then pinched his side for good measure, immensely pleased when Edward gave an all too girlish yelp.

"Yes, you do!… but I like it… in fact it's the cutest thing ever!" Edward grabbed for her hand before she could do more damage to his sensitive flesh, and used it to pull her up to him, stopping only when Bella was completely stretched on top of him.

"I'm sure it can't be!" Bella denied in a soft whisper, acutely aware of every inch of naked skin burning her own.

She then nibbled at her bottom lip, and Edward truly felt like ravishing her again.

"Stop doing that… it drives me crazy!" he growled huskily before he could stop himself, wondering once more how she could have such effect on him when barely doing anything at all.

"Doing what?" Bella inquired innocently, tucking her hair behind her ear, another one of those seemingly insignificant things that made Edward go wild.

"Doing _that_!" he groaned, cupping the back of her head and bringing her even closer to him so that he could nibble at her lip himself.

The next thing Bella knew, he was slowly stroking her tongue with his own and she found herself falling all over again. Unfortunately, just when things were really starting to get good, he stopped and placed a sweet lingering kiss on her lips that nearly made her growl in frustration.

Briefly, she closed her eyes, knowing that she probably shouldn't have let herself get carried away so easily in the first place, and when she opened them again, she couldn't miss the obvious and satisfied smile Edward couldn't apparently hide. He just so knew what he was doing to her.

"So, that's all you've been doing all this time… watching me sleep?" she queried as indifferently as she could, though she was literally burning inside with the need to taste more of him.

"Pretty much… yeah!" Edward answered vaguely as she settled higher on him, her head resting just above his shoulder now.

"Pretty much?" she parroted, trembling slightly when she felt his breath stir near her ear, the feeling only intensifying when he sighed heavily at her question.

"Go away with me…" he murmured almost out of the blue, nuzzling her neck tenderly while one of his hands distractedly caressed her hip.

"What?" Bella asked, her head lifting from its position so she could see his face again.

"I was thinking and… we should go away for a while… you, me and Jay… we could go anywhere… it doesn't even have to be far… you two just choose and I'll take care of everything!" he said all too seriously and Bella blinked before she actually even considered it.

Of course going away with him sounded tempting, there was no denying that, but she so knew it was not a possibility, too many things stopped them from having that freedom.

"Edward … we can't… what about Janelle… what about school?" she protested, thinking that he wasn't seeing all the facts and not thinking clearly, or he would realize himself that they couldn't do just that.

"What about that?… she's five years old, how much can she miss?… besides, school is almost over…" Edward argued right away, not seeing what the problem with that could be.

"Then what about me?… I mean I can't just leave like that…" Bella pointed out in return, even if she knew that they could probably work that out since she already hadn't gone to work today, and Harry had told her to let him know if she needed more days.

But still, she couldn't really do it, could she?

"Of course you can… Bella, you've never missed a day in all the years you've worked there… or hardly… I'm sure Harry wouldn't mind if you suddenly took a leave of absence for personal reasons." Edward retorted, having already thought about that since that had seemed to be the major obstacle on their way.

He had thought about it long and hard while she was sleeping in fact. He just wanted her to say yes now, and for them to go away from everything and anyone they knew, so that they could really find each other again, talk about everything, and work things out between them, without interruption or interference. He didn't think that that was too much to ask, or was it?

"And what about you then?… I know for a fact that you can't just up and go!" Bella reminded him then, but the argument was brought up way more weakly than the precedents had been.

The idea of leaving with him, even if it were just to go to the next city did indeed look appealing and she would actually give everything she had to see it happening, but she didn't see how he would be able to work his way around of that, even if he seemed to have thought all the rest through.

"Already taken care of… when they… when I thought… I mean… I've already told Jessica I wouldn't be coming for a week…" Edward started before correcting himself, not willing to give much detail and relive the moment he had received that fateful call. "She should have informed Kate and Emmett right away… so I'm all yours in the meantime!" he told her, unaware of how much turmoil his words were going to cause.

If nothing else could have woken Bella up from the perfect and fantasy-like world she had been living in for the past few hours, his last sentence definitely did the trick.

He had just needed to utter _her_ name and it had all come back to her, crashing her hopes and shattering her heart: the hurt, the fear, that feeling that she was literally suffocating, ripped apart from the inside out, every time she thought of _them_.

Where Edward had been expecting to hear an answer so, a confirmation that she wanted to do this as much as he could, he got none. At least none of those he had been waiting for.

The way she physically tensed on top of him was the first clue that something wasn't right and before he could react, or understand what was happening, she bolted up right, scurrying apparently as far away from him as she could, and the only thing he could do during the few first seconds was stare at her, blinking and mouth agape, completely stunned by her reaction.

Not long afterwards, she tore the sheet from the bed, wrapped it around her shaking form and stumbled to her feet, her movements frantic as she obviously searched for something.

His heart constricted painfully in his chest, dread like he had rarely ever felt it washing over him, and he nearly choked on his own saliva as he desperately tried to swallow past the huge lump forming in his throat.

"Bella?" he called her name and winced at realizing just how broken his own voice sounded to him.

By now he was up, too, though how he managed to bring himself to even stand with the way he could feel himself trembling as well was a pure miracle, and was searching for anything he could put on before going to her. He didn't know how he knew it but something told him that, whatever she would say, having this conversation with her now wasn't something he would want to do naked. He was almost relieved so, when he found a clean pair of his boxers and hurriedly pulled them on.

"Bella?… what is it? Did I… did I say s-something wrong?" he queried fearfully when he was done, his apprehension only growing when he noticed how much she had paled and saw her start pacing suddenly after she had put on one of his shirts.

The last thing he was ready for was to contemplate that fact of course, but maybe he had assumed too much and this didn't change anything for her. Maybe it had just happened in the spur of the moment, nothing else and she was trying to find ways to make him understand it wouldn't work after all and that this, being with him again, wasn't what she wanted. His heart rebelled at the idea of course and yet, he couldn't help the panic that assailed him the more he looked at her.

"Baby, please… talk to me!" he found himself pleading with her when she didn't stop, but then sucked in a breath when she turned around, feeling himself tear up as well at her obvious distress.

"I c-can't… I can't do this, Edward… you… god, you talk like… like it doesn't matter or… like it's not even… important anymore… but what about after this week, huh?… I just… I can't go through this again… I-I can't share you with her… don't ask me to, Edward, please!" Bella stammered, her voice cracking every other word, not quite believing that he didn't understand how much it hurt to hear him talk so casually about the woman who had very nearly destroyed her life.

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but she didn't make any effort to brush them away, the pain in her heart being almost paralyzing at this point. Why had she let herself believe that everything would be alright now, that anything had changed at all just because they had spent a night of incredible passion in each other's arms?

Was that it? Would _one week_ be all she got? A week when she would be the only one who mattered, when he would have eyes only for her, when he would whisper the words she had only dreamt to hear again for the last past months. A single week where he would be _all hers_. And then what? He would go back to Kate, to seeing her every day, and what would that mean for her, for them? She would always wonder if she didn't get this out, and she knew she just couldn't do it anymore.

"Bella?… What?… what are you talking about, sweetheart?… share me with… _what_? … I don't… Bella?" Edward replied, stuttering himself, utterly confused and having no idea what she could be talking about. In fact, he was sure that part of what she had just said had clearly not registered correctly because it just didn't make any sense to him.

Here he was thinking, fearing, that this was about Jacob, when it obviously was not and he couldn't help but wonder what the heck was going on now.

"I-I thought I could… do li-like nothing happened… I _wish_ I could… but… I-I just got you back… I can't… god, I-I can't… l-lose you again!" Bella kept ranting, unconsciously sidestepping Edward when he tried to come closer to her, and even if he was sure that her intention had not been to hurt him by being suddenly so distant, it didn't mean that he wasn't.

Yet even with that, Edward refused to make the same mistake he had made so many times before, when he had let her close up and pull away from him, and he swore that whatever it was that had her reacting so emotionally all of a sudden, so irrationally, he would go to the bottom of it, and they would go through this, together.

"Bella … no one's going to lose anyone here, okay?…" he stated as firmly as he could, as he gently grabbed for her arm and pulled her close to him, conscious that he was probably trying to convince himself as much as her. "Now please, talk to me, because I swear I absolutely don't understand what you're saying!… and… baby, you're _really_ scaring me!" he pursued more softly as she met his eyes, his thumbs drawing small circles over her upper arms, even if that was certainly not what was going to help her calm down. Or him.

He could feel how his heart raced wildly in his chest the more he had to see her cry and he didn't know how much longer he could stand this.

At that instant, Bella herself briefly stared at him, that deep frown marring his forehead, and she wanted nothing more than to listen to him and let his voice soothe all of her insecurities away, but they had gone on like this for too long now, and it was time it ended. One way or another.

"I know we… I know we never really… t-talked about it… but… and I-I know what she… what sh-she means to you… but please, Edward… for me and Jay… please, E-Edward… " Bella sobbed before she could stop herself, hating how desperate she was sounding, but not really caring anymore at that moment.

After tonight, more than ever in fact, she knew that she couldn't live without him. She was also convinced that he wanted to be with her as well, she couldn't imagine that he wouldn't with everything that had happened between them, or with every heartfelt word he had whispered to her, but she wouldn't, she _couldn't_ let Kate Denali keep overshadowing their relationship indefinitely, if there was any other way. He had to make a choice and she prayed with all her might that he would choose his family.

"Shh… shh… okay… come here, sweetheart…" Edward coaxed her quietly and drew her to him, thinking that he had either lost many brain cells in the last few hours, or he had missed something really important in this conversation. "Bella, I love you, you know that, right?" he whispered as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her down on his lap, relieved when she went willingly and didn't fight him.

"B-But you love… her, t-too!" Bella hiccupped brokenly, despite the comfort that being in his arms brought her.

In all honestly, there was little doubt in her mind that Edward truly meant everything that he had told her tonight, or that he indeed loved her, but that didn't mean that he couldn't love Kate as well. That he couldn't still want the other woman even now, just because he had been with her again. He wouldn't be the first man in love with two women and certainly not the last, going from one to the other and unable to choose, she had gotten proof of that tonight as well, hadn't she?

"But _who_, Bella?" Edward asked finally, getting really frustrated by now.

What the hell was wrong with her, and how could she think that he loved anyone else but her, or that she had to _share_ him with anyone. The only other _girl_ in his life was Janelle, and they had never had to compete for his affection.

"K-Kate!" Bella choked out at last, just uttering the name being enough to make her stomach churn and feel the urgent need to spill her guts.

"_Kate_?" Edward parroted dumbfounded, looking at her like she had grown a second head, and then, he couldn't help himself. He just burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of her statement.

"This is not funny!" Bella cried out as she sprang off of him, his reaction hurting maybe even more than if he had just admitted aloud that she was right.

She knew for sure that she wasn't making these things up and seeing him… making fun of her, was really the last straw. At least if he was honest they could work with that, they could go past this, somehow, some way, she had already forgiven him anyway, so why couldn't he at least meet her midway?

"Baby, if you think that I love _Kate_… excuse me, but it _is_ definitely funny!" Edward rejoined, still somewhat amused, until he noticed the way she was glaring at him and realized that she was evidently not finding any humor in the situation herself.

Sitting up so, he took the few steps that separated them now and reached out for her, trying to ignore the fact that she seemed almost reluctant to let him touch her.

"Look at me!" he commanded gently before he cradled her face and tenderly kissed her tears away, ending up with a few brushes of his lips against hers when she momentarily stopped crying. "Okay, now just tell me who the hell told you or made you think that I could love Kate! … I mean… she's my secretary, and well I guess… uh, a good friend, too… but believe me, there is absolutely nothing romantic between us… not on my part at least… so I'd really like to know who's the idiot who convinced you otherwise!" he went on when he was positive that she would listen to him, and that even when he still couldn't get what could have prompted such a reaction.

If it weren't because he could see how serious she apparently was about this, how affected mostly, he wouldn't even be humoring her, but if being reassured was all she needed, he was ready to do just that for the rest of the night if he had to. Anything to chase away the pain swirling in her eyes and not see her cry any longer.

And still, even with all his good intentions and all, he was far from being prepared for what came out of her mouth next.

"You!" of all the things she could have said, _that_ was certainly the very last one he had been expecting to hear and it definitely showed by the way his jaw dropped in reaction.

Okay, what the fuck was this? Was it a joke? Because clearly it couldn't be anything else.

"Wh-What?… me… _what_?" he sputtered like an idiot, feeling like she had just hit him with a mass, not surprisingly caught between the urgent need to laugh himself silly, or just maybe shake _her_ and ask her if she had lost her freaking mind. It was only the way she was looking at him in fact that stopped him from doing either, because there was no way he could think that she didn't honestly believe what she had said.

A friend? How could he pretend that Kate was just a friend after all they had been through, after what she knew, and why was he denying it now when she had given him an opportunity to do so months ago and he hadn't judged that necessary?

"Uh, okay… honey, look I… obviously I-I've said or… or done something that made you think that… and therefore, even if I swear that I don't know what it could have been, I'm sorry… I truly am… but you really got it all wrong, Bella!" Edward declared sincerely, though he briefly wondered nonetheless if he wasn't truly the one with a problem.

For the life of him he couldn't figure out what had brought Bella to be so convinced that he could have any feelings for Kate, but obviously he had some serious issues of communication. After all, Kate herself had apparently believed more or less the same or else she wouldn't have tried anything with him, and so he had to wonder what kind of signals, vibes, or whatever he was involuntarily sending off to have people around him believe something that he knew in his heart was absolutely not true.

That Kate could think so was bad enough in and of itself, but if Bella started as well, now that took the cake.

"Did I?" Bella queried emotionally, apparently not convinced despite his declaration and Edward couldn't help looking at her incredulously, hurt beyond belief that she could question his words.

"_Of course_ you did!" he returned indignantly, clearly offended now, but that didn't stop him from following her when she left the room and marched to their walk-in wardrobe. "Bella, what… what are you doing now?" he questioned shakily, suddenly afraid to see her get a suitcase out, throw all his things in this time and ask him to leave for good. The last time he had been here was still too fresh in his mind, and he felt his heart lodge in his throat when his fear was confirmed and he saw her open a drawer and start throwing some of his remaining clothes on the floor. "No… no, god… don't do this, Bella, please… _please_, baby!"

His hands shook furiously as he did his best to stop her, seeing his whole world collapsing in front of him again, but then he froze when she pushed some papers into his chest, the move so sudden that he barely had time to catch them before they fell to the floor.

"Now you're going to tell me that I'm still imagining things, huh?" Bella asked acidly, her chin quivering nonetheless despite her obvious effort to stay strong and not break down again.

Following her back into their room the second she moved, all Edward did at first was to look between Bella's distraught face and the sheets in his hands, then back to her again, not seeing what could be the link between her, Kate and this now, until he realized that if he wanted to understand what all this crazy mess was about, he should better take a look at those documents, whatever they were.

His eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets however, when he started going through what Bella had just given him and the more he read, the sicker he felt.

_...From: Edward__Cullen(at)EMEC(dot)com___

… … … …don't even know how I do it… … … … … … … … … …

… … … … …can only think about you… … … … … … … … … … …

… …love you… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … …think it was possible to love so much again.

… … … … … end to my loveless marriage… … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … I just should tell her… … … … … … … … … … … …

… …keeping me with her is my daughter… … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … … … … … very soon, you and I… … … … … … … …

…our nights together… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … … … …making love to you… … … … … … … … … …

… … … …the day our baby will grow inside of you… … … … …

… … …a part of you and me… … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

…

Love,  
_Edward__._

…From: Edward_Cullen(at)EMEC(dot)com___

Last night… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … …being with you… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … …holding you close… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … …nothing else matters when I'm with you… …

… … … … … … make all your dreams come true… … … … … … …

… … and you'll finally be my wife… … … … … … … … … … … … …

… … … … … … … … … … … …I just can't wait… … … … … … … … …

…

Yours forever,  
Edward.

…

Always,  
Edward.

…

Edward.

Edward.  


Pages and pages of tender declarations, words of love and passion, promises and vows meant to someone he was obviously supposed to be close to and intimate with.

Pages and pages of blatant lies.

"Where the hell did you get this from?" Edward cried out when he just couldn't stomach anymore, the picture becoming clearer and clearer the more he read.

God, it just couldn't be. He couldn't fathom that anyone could have given this to Bella. He just couldn't. _She_ wouldn't have dared.

"Kate thought I should know about you and her, since you were obviously too much of a coward to tell me yourself… and she so amiably stopped by on her way to work one morning to give them to me." Bella revealed, seeing as Edward's mouth opened and closed repeatedly, like a fish out of the water, as she confirmed his suspicions.

But then anger took over and she saw the dangerous gleam in his eyes, the sight so unusual that she reflexively took a step back. She knew he would never hurt her of course, but he definitely looked like he could hit something and she didn't really feel like being on his way.

"O-Okay… let me get this straight… Kate… D-Denali, my secretary… _ex_-secretary once I get my hands on her, believe me… came to you and gave you _this_?" he hissed through clenched teeth, his fisted hand trembling at his side as he obviously tried to keep some semblance of control.

If he didn't, he just knew that he would explode and break something in rage. That… _bitch_.

"When?" he inquired after Bella nodded, the way he breathed out the word so calmly when she knew he was anything but being almost scary, and Bella wondered if it had really been wise to do this now when Janelle was in the house.

Edward truly looked ready to blow a gasket and the last thing they needed was to have her see him in such a state. She didn't remember having ever seen him so angry before in fact, not even this morning when he had been less than happy with her, and a part of her couldn't help wondering why he was really exploding now.

Was it because Kate had betrayed him and gone behind his back when he had obviously wanted to wait some more himself then, or was it because he realized that she had known for a while now? She didn't know yet what would be worse, but she guessed in any case, she wouldn't have to wait long to find out.

"Does it really matter now?… I know, that's all that should…" she began almost reluctantly, only to be brutally interrupted mid-sentence.

"DAMMIT, BELLA, _WHEN_?" Edward yelled before he could stop himself, but then couldn't help regretting it when he saw Bella start, a frightened expression on her face, the sight making him reach out for her immediately.

Scaring her was the last thing he wanted, but he needed to have all the facts, he needed to know _everything_, and once he did… god, once he did, he didn't even want to think about what he would do, but Kate Denali should have better left the state, or she might have to pay it with her life.

"I'm sorry… I… I didn't mean… god, Bella, just tell me when, please!" he demanded more gently, fingers threading through her hair near her temple, while his thumb massaged it unconsciously.

"When you were in San Diego!" Bella whispered, voice so low that Edward only just heard her.

She was barely with him anymore at that instant, the memory still so fresh in her mind that she felt as if she was transported months back.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

_The world was spinning around her, and she felt herself falling slowly. Her back connected with the piece of furniture behind her, but she didn't feel anything at all, even when the contact should have made her yelp in pain._

It can't be. It can't be. It just can't be, she kept repeating the same short sentence to herself, over and over again, but it just didn't help in any way.

The few minutes that had passed since _Kate__Denali__ had finally closed her damned mouth seemed like hours already, but she just didn't know what to say, or just what to think._

This had been such a beautiful morning so far. Yes, she had not really talked to _Edward__ since he had left for another one of his business trips, and they hadn't actually said a word to each other about what had happened between them the morning before, __Edward__ having already left before they had any opportunity to, but nothing could have wiped the smile off her face for all that._

Nothing, until she had opened her door to find _Edward__'s secretary standing there, all blonde and faked. She had never really liked __Kate__ in fact, even if she had never really been able to say why, but she was about to discover that she indeed had good reasons not to._

At first she hadn't understood what she could be doing there when she had to know that _Edward__ was away, but when Kate had started to talk, Bella had instantly wished she had never asked._

Kate hadn't even bothered with ceremony, she had just blurted it all out, Bella barely able to utter a strangled 'what?', or 'no' here and there, while the other woman destroyed all her dreams and illusions. All her happiness.

"Edward and I are together now, we love each other._" the words echoed through her head over and over again._

The rest was all a blur, the details about how long, the reminder of how strained their own relationship was now, the cutting remarks about how _Edward__ wanted out of their now loveless and meaningless marriage, at least on his part… it all barely registered yet, but she couldn't forget those few words._

"Edward and I are together now!"

"We love each other. _"_

_Edward__ was cheating on her. Her heart refused to believe it, refused to acknowledge that __Edward__ could have done such a thing to her, even when she had seen the signs that tended to prove that something was very wrong with him lately, but the more __Kate__ talked, the less she managed to convince herself._

"Y-You're lying!" she forced the words out of her mouth at last, fighting against the irrepressible urge she felt to retch and that left a sour taste in her throat.

"Am I?" _Kate__ said, raising a mocking eyebrow at her, and it took all Bella had inside to not just smack her head into the door. "Why do you think he pulls so many hours at the office?…why do you think he doesn't touch you anymore, huh?… how long has it been… weeks, months?… c'mon, the proofs are just in front of you… you can't be that clueless… or stupid!…" she taunted viciously before Bella could even react, and she could only look at her with glistening wide eyes._

Obviously _Kate__ didn't know that it had only been yesterday that __Edward__ had been making love to her again, but she couldn't even rejoice over the fact. It just hurt too much to realize that __Kate__ was apparently not making all this up, contrary to what she had still wanted to believe, for she wouldn't know that she and __Edward__ had not been intimate for a while now if he hadn't told her himself. She just couldn't hope that it had only been a lucky guess._

It had hurt tremendously to see him be so distant with her for the last month and a half now, and as much as she had wanted to think that he was just exhausted from work and had probably too much in his mind, now she knew better and it very nearly killed her.

"But if you want more… here you have it…" _Kate__ was still talking, but Bella barely heard her, so caught up in her grief. Until she searched her bag for something and presented her some folded papers._

Bella looked at the extended hand in front of her, wondering if she really wanted to know more, wanting nothing more but tell _Kate__ to just go to hell with her stories in fact, but when the other woman lifted a defiant eyebrow, she knew she just couldn't give her the pleasure of falling apart right now._

She wanted to be so strong. She so wanted to pretend that all of this wasn't affecting her at all, but all her good resolve went right through the window with the first look at the papers she now had in hands. Her vision blurred with each line she read, each word like a new slap in the face, confirming with _Edward__'s own words all that __Kate__ had been saying so far, and only when she felt bile rise in her throat again did she stop torturing herself._

"What do you want?… Why are you… doing this?" she asked at last, cursing herself when her voice cracked half way through her questions.

"I love _Edward__, but I'm tired of waiting till he decides to grow a pair and talk to you…" __Kate__ retorted confidently, making her understand the obvious, that __Edward__ apparently wanted to leave her, but was just not man enough to assume his choice and tell her himself. Yet it wasn't that that hurt the most. "So I'm doing what I have to… for me and my baby!"_

The words cut right through her, and she felt her legs wobble under her. Her breath left her in a whoosh and she brought a hand to her heart, sure that it would burst out of her chest in the next second and that she would have to pick up its shattered, bleeding pieces.

"Y-You're… pregnant?" she croaked out heartbreakingly, unable to hide her pain and stop the flow of tears now, no matter how much she hated herself for showing _Kate__ how much what she was telling her was ripping her apart._

It just couldn't be true. She_ couldn't be pregnant. It just wasn't right. It wasn't fair, and Bella knew she wouldn't survive it if Kate were to confirm it._

"Not yet… but we're working on it." _Kate__ enounced smugly but where Bella should have found relief, she didn't feel any._

They were working on it. They were sleeping together and were working on it. And soon _Kate__Denali__ would have what she couldn't herself. God, it couldn't be true._

"I-I don't b-believe you!… E-_Edward__ would never do that!" she replied almost right away, not feeling an ounce of the confidence she was trying to display, and consequently cursing herself once more for appearing so weak._

_Edward__, the __Edward__ she thought she knew would never do that to her. Not knowing how it would devastate her, not knowing how much she wanted a baby herself, and not when he had told her so adamantly that he was not ready for another child._

But did she really know him at all now? a voice in her head pondered. Hadn't she thought not so long ago about how much he had changed, about how different he was with her now? So would it be so impossible that that_Edward__ could break her heart that way and not care about it._

"_Edward__ would do just that because that's what he wants! … do you really think that if he wanted to save your marriage he wouldn't have tried to already?… he may still care for you, after all you two have a past together… but I'm the one he wants now… and I'm the one who's going to give him that other child… because believe me, he _wants_ it with _me_!" __Kate__ flung back, putting into words all that Bella had not dared to, and only confirming what she had already been thinking._

This was like her worst nightmare coming true, and god, she had not even seen it coming. Nothing, no nothing at all could have prepared her for this, and she knew that nothing would ever be the same now. _Edward__ was in love with someone else. __Edward__ wanted to leave her, he wanted a baby with __Kate__, how was she supposed to go through this? And Janelle, what would they say to her?_

"Now do us all a favor… do what he can't…" _Kate__ finished with a small smile that Bella wished she could just slap from her lips._

Do us all a favor? The last thing Bella was feeling like doing was any favor to that whore.

"I won't… I-I won't let you have my husband…" she gulped audibly but threw back just as venomously as she could herself, even if it didn't seem to affect _Kate__ at all._

"Oh, hun'… I already have him… he hasn't been yours in a very long time… you just refused to see it… Now you know!" _Kate__ chuckled mockingly, grinning like the cat that ate the canary now, and Bella instantly felt rage boiling her insides._

"Get out!" she hissed, having heard enough, and moving to fling the door open, all but forcing herself to not reach out to her and throw her out herself.

"Aww… sensitive much, are we… _Edward__ always says that's your greatest weakness… I guess he was right!" __Kate__ answered tauntingly, not making any effort to move though, knowing that it would certainly help aggravate Bella even more._

"Get the hell out of my house… now!_" Bella cried then, trembling but not caring anymore if __Kate __ just laughed herself into fits at her accomplishment._

She just wanted her out and as far away as she could, or else she wouldn't be held responsible for her actions and _Edward__ would have to defend her for attempting murder first before he had any opportunity to leave her and start a new life with his tramp on the side._

"It was a pleasure talking to you… Ms. Swan!" _Kate__ eventually strutted to the entrance, inflicting one final jab that was just the last straw for Bella and had her slamming the door to her back before she could control herself._

Her hand rested against the wooden material a few insignificant seconds before she slowly slid to the floor, and then the only thing that could still be heard through the house was the sound of the heart wrenching cries that tore from her very soul.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"Be more precise, sweetie, because I've been there a few times, so it could have been any of them!" Edward's soft voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and Bella couldn't miss his concerned expression as he saw her blink back tears as she was forced to remember once more.

"In October!" she informed him, seeing something shift in his gaze not long after he heard her.

"In Oct-…? Wait a minute… we split in October!" he said, eyes going wild as what it meant registered in his mind.

"What?" Bella asked, wondering for a second if he was telling her that he and Kate had broken up back then or what. It couldn't be, could it?

"You and I… I mean that's when you said you thought it would be best if we took a step back!" he reminded her, like she could have really forgotten about that.

She hardly could, considering that it had certainly been the hardest decision she had had to take.

"Yes." she confirmed simply, cringing nonetheless as Edward let go of her and started to pace in front of her.

"Oh, for heaven's sake… Bella, please, don't tell me _this_ is why you asked me to leave!… God, no!" he all but exploded almost right away, the expression on his face caught somewhere between extreme pain and total disbelief, yet before she could say a thing he already knew the answer.

It had all been for nothing. Months and months of misery away from her and all for nothing. God, how could he have been so stupid? That conversation so long ago, it had been about Kate as well, Kate, not Jacob, he realized with sudden clarity.

Bella had thought he was with Kate. No, correction, _Kate_ had done her very best to make Bella think that he was with her… and _he_ had let her do this to them. He had walked right along, doing probably exactly what she had been expecting of him… fucking nothing.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

_"Why?… why are you doing this?" he asked, wincing when his own voice reached his ears._

This was it, he thought, it had truly not taken her long to figure out what she wanted, who_ she wanted finally. Funny that he just had needed to make love to her for her to come to a decision. _

_He had wondered before how long she would last before she regretted it, well, he hadn't had to wait much to eventually know. Yet no matter how much he thought he had prepared himself for that during these three shorts days he had been away, he just couldn't believe how much it hurt to hear her say the words nonetheless._

When she had said that she couldn't take this anymore, he had still foolishly hoped that she was talking about anything but them, but she had quickly crushed that hope to dust.

"This… us… like this… I-I think… I think we should… part for a while… take a step back… I-I think we both need it… I…"

A step back meant nothing at all to him at this point. Taking a step back was something you did when you just needed some time to know what you wanted, but you still had the intention to work things out somehow, even if it weren't in a near future. What she was doing was choosing the easy way out to not have to tell him that they were over and that she wanted to be with someone else.

But he wouldn't let her get away with this just like that, if she wanted him to leave she would have to tell him why clearly.

"You know why _Edward__, don't you?" Bella all but spat out and he just looked at her with a mix of aversion and incredulity._

"Why don't you tell me?… instead of serving me this bullshit, huh?" he threw back, getting angrier the longer he stood there and looked at her.

"What do you want me to say, _Edward__?… you _fucking_ know the answer… why don't _you_ tell me why?" Bella fired, standing up from the bed and walking anxiously to the window, like she was trying to put even more distance between them and he knew that she wouldn't tell him what he wanted her to._

She turned her back to him then, and if he could see her trembling, for once the sight didn't move him like it used to, or made him want to go to her. This wasn't the woman he loved, she couldn't be. He didn't even think he knew her anymore.

"So that's it?" he choked out, hating that she could hurt him so much, but hating even more that he could still somehow hope, pray even, that she would turn around and tell him that she hadn't meant a word of what she had been telling him ever since he had entered their bedroom, that she was just confused right now but that they would somehow find a way to go through this.

He didn't find any compassion in her tone when she turned around however, she just glared at him like just the sight of him unnerved her now.

"Oh, because this kind of things is supposed to come with a good explanation, huh? Well, I don't have any I guess… oh, no, wait… what about you were working so much… spending all your time at your office… it was bound to happen, right?" she returned sardonically, and he winced at the amount of hatred he could discern in her words.

How dare she? Shouldn't he be the one being mad here? The one throwing the hateful stares? Wasn't she the one deceiving him? And yet she acted like she had the right to be angry at him, like it was all his fault. Yeah, he had been working his ass off almost every day, and yes, he had probably not been with her as much as he could have wanted, or she could have, but was that justification enough for what she had done? Not for him!

"Yeah, right!" he scoffed out, more disgusted by the sight of her now than he had ever been, or had ever thought possible.

He turned around then, entering their walk-in wardrobe and grabbing a few essential things he would need, and then couldn't get out of there fast enough.

When he left the room, he could have sworn that he heard soft crying, but he didn't walk back, sure that he had probably only been imagining the whole thing. Bella had no reason to cry for him now. 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

He nearly keeled over now as he realized that she hadn't been talking about the fact that she had turned to someone else because he had been working too much and she had felt neglected like he had assumed. She had been talking about him and about what she thought was true at the time, that being always at the office had inevitably led him to fall into Kate's arms.

"And what exactly was I supposed to do? Greet her in our bed and tell her, '_no problem, Katie, I don't mind, come here, we can share _my_ husband!_'?" Bella flung back incredulously, getting angry herself by now.

"Talk to me!… God, you should have just talked to me… I would have cleared that out immediately and we wouldn't have had to go through this!" he shot back like that was the most logical thing, and yet, he was guilty of the same thing, wasn't he?

He just couldn't believe this. How in the world could they have reached this point? And how could Kate have done such a thing?… he couldn't even wrap his mind around that one yet!

How many times had he confided in her? How many times had he talked to her about his feelings, the fool he was? He had opened up to her, and she had used everything against him, that backstabbing bitch. All this time, she had done her best to keep them apart, after having broken whatever was left of their marriage once he had learned about Jacob first, and he hadn't seen a fucking thing.

Oh, Kate had played her part well, so perfectly in fact that she deserved an Oscar for her performance. He remembered so clearly how many times she had come to him when it was evident that he was feeling down and told him that she was there for him if he wanted to talk to her about whatever it was that was bothering him, that she would listen and help if she could, and he had believed in her sincerity.

How humiliating it had been that first time to admit that he had caught Bella with another man, but she had let him talk, she had let him cry and let it all out, and had offered comfort and support when he thought that he would find none. There had been no physical contact of any kind then, but the words had been enough to relieve him some.

After that it had been so easy to trust her, he considered her a friend already, but she wasn't close enough to him, or to Bella, to pass judgment or take sides like any other of their friends could have, and that was what he had needed at that time. Not even Jasper had known the whole truth back then, he hadn't found it in him to admit that he had failed, and that his wife wasn't satisfied with the life he provided, but Kate had, and it had all been faked.

He realized now just how naïve he had been. How many times had he heard her blame Bella for everything and tell him that she didn't deserve him anyway, and that if she wasn't able to see how lucky she was to have him, then he was better off without her. He should have known better then, and see past the sweet innocent smiles she delivered with the words. Maybe then he would have understood what her agenda had been all along, and she wouldn't have been able to do what she had.

He had to hand it to her for her imagination and patience however, because if he had wanted to make anyone believe he was having an affair, making up quite explicit emails was probably one of the most convincing ways, at least if you didn't look too much into the details. But considering how Bella had probably been when she had been told that he was cheating on her and shown that shit, she had certainly not been in any mind frame to pay much attention.

Not that he could blame her. The evidence had been right before his eyes all this time and he hadn't been able to tell himself what a conniving bitch Kate Denali truly was. Before the beginning of the week, he hadn't even suspected that she could be interested in any way. And even then, when he had rejected her, she had managed to play it off so easily that he had thought that it was only a one time occurrence, a lapse of judgment, without much consequence as long as she understood that there would never be any way they could be anything else but friends.

It was little wonder then if Bella had let herself be fooled, moreover considering their relationship back then. If he couldn't even see himself how manipulative Kate could be when he worked with her and mixed with her on a daily basis, how was Bella supposed to do so herself?

"What would it have changed?… the facts were pretty clear!" Bella countered right away, not seeing what difference it would have made at that moment.

She had chosen the coward way out, maybe, but she wouldn't have borne to hear him finally say out loud what had already broken her heart when read. All in all she had done the best she could with the hand she had been dealt, and it wasn't as if he had put up much of a fight when she had suggested he left. Didn't that speak for itself?

She had wished with all her might that he would tell her that this was absolutely not what he wanted, wished for him to show her that Kate was lying, that she was wrong and that he was ready to fight for her, for them, but he had just turned around and left, what was she supposed to think?

The only thing that she still needed an answer to was the question that had burned her mind all of these months, even when she did her best to avoid thinking about it

"How… how c-could you do that, Edward?" he heard her ask brokenly and as he witnessed her start to cry anew, some of his anger instantly deflated.

"I didn't do anything, Bella!… I swear!" he was quick to negate, taking her in his arms briefly before pulling slightly away again and going to pick up the sheets of paper he had dropped on the bed minutes before.

"Bella … baby… look at this!" he told her, pointing at the first line on several of those damned emails that had possibly ruined his life and their relationship. "This is not even my email address!… and besides, why would I send her emails when she's my secretary?… I mean… I see her almost every frigging day!" he continued, hoping that she would see how ridiculous all of this was if you really thought about it.

Of course, given that Bella had probably only emailed him twice in all the years he had been working with Emmett, it wasn't surprising that she wouldn't have noticed the subtlety, but still, the point remained that Edward had never written anything so personal to Kate, or to anyone else for that matter. That supposed email address was strictly reserved for business anyway, so if he had had to, even for Bella, he would have certainly not used it either.

For the first time maybe, Bella really looked at the written address then and she couldn't help but frown first as she recognized clearly the familiar reference to "Emmett McCarthy and Edward Cullen Associates", until a closer look made her finally gasp.

How could she have missed that before? EdwardCullen, not Edward**.**Cullen. The difference was almost not visible on paper if you weren't focusing on that, and honestly she hadn't been, too hurt by the content of the emails to pay attention before, but that little point, or rather lack of, changed everything. God, Kate had probably just created a new email address, as similar as possible, and she hadn't seen a thing.

"I never wrote this, Bella… never!" Edward still swore, his grip almost painful as he cupped her face in his hands, but he needed her to listen to him and trust him now more than ever. "God, baby, didn't you know even back then just how much I love you?… I couldn't have been with anyone else… not then, not ever… no matter what could happen between us… I mean, I can't even _look_ at another woman… you're everything to me, Bella! YOU… you, baby, no one else!" he declared fervently, tears blurring his vision as well as he saw her take in everything he was saying.

"But… but she said…" she stuttered nonetheless, her heart believing him, but her mind refusing to admit yet that she had let Kate Denali play her without suspecting a thing. She couldn't believe either that anyone could be so cruel and be ready to go to such lengths to destroy her family just to get what they wanted.

"She lied… whatever she said, she lied… the fuc-… god, I'm gonna kill her!" he growled through gritted teeth, hoping that Kate would stay clear of him for as long as she could, or he would truly murder her.

"So you n-never…" Bella choked out, her voice breaking as she realized what all this meant.

"Never, _ever_!" Edward answered and even if she didn't finish her sentence, she didn't need to.

It was clearly written all over her face the second she understood that he had never laid a finger on Kate, that he had never loved her, or been intimate in any way with her.

And as much as Edward was literally seething with rage inside, the instant he noticed the expression of horror that crossed Bella's face, he knew that his anger would have to be controlled and his murdering plans to wait. Because right then, Bella needed him more than ever and he had no intention to let her down this time.

He wasn't expecting such a breakdown however, and his heart shattered into pieces at her despair.

"O-Oh… oh, m-my god… what… what have I done?… E-Edward … oh, god!… no, no… god!… no!" she cried, stumbling away from him with agonizing sobs, but Edward gently grabbed her by the wrist before she could go too far.

"Shhh… shhh… sweetie… it's alright… shh… it's gonna be okay!" he soothed tenderly, holding her tighter when she tried to pull free. There was no way he was going to let her go away from him now, not in this state.

"No… n-no… what ha-have I-I done?… what have I-I…" she repeated on and on, doubling over almost in pain, and forcing Edward to pull her as close to his body as he could.

"Bella … Bella… baby, look at me… look at me… it's gonna be okay, alright! It's okay, Bella!" he cajoled, one arm firmly wrapped around her waist as her body was racked with tremors, while his other hand caressed her face and tried to stop the flow of tears.

"She knew things… she said… she s-said… you wanted a … a b-baby with… with her… and that was… why… why you refused me!… how could sh-she have known a-about that?" she wailed, shaking her head as if she were trying to make sense of all this mess, and yet refused to let herself truly believe that it had all been for nothing.

"I'm so sorry, baby… so sorry… I… I-I trusted her… I mean… we talked about it… and yes, I told her you wanted me to think about it… but god, I never thought… I can't believe she did that… I-I can't believe I didn't see anything!" Edward grunted in pain himself, but at least he was partially relieved when he drew her into the safe confines of his arms and this time she stopped fighting him.

Her own arms wrapped around him, holding him like her very own life depended on it, and Edward was very well aware that it was probably only because they were clinging to each other that she hadn't already collapsed to the floor.

God, what the hell had _he_ done? he groaned inwardly. All of this was only his own fault. By trusting her, he had given Kate all the ammunitions she needed to destroy them. She knew exactly what to use to hurt Bella in the worst way possible and make sure that she would doubt him, doubt his faithfulness.

He shuddered as he thought about what could have happened if that woman hadn't gotten in that accident. He had been determined to talk to Bella even before that, but what if he hadn't been able to get through her then? What if he hadn't learned what he had tonight? Edward wasn't convinced that they would have gotten to this point, that they would have made love, if they hadn't been both so emotional.

Maybe Bella would have been impermeable to his arguments then, maybe she would have not wanted to listen to him and she would have still kept for her what had happened with Kate, and he wouldn't have known. He would have been left just as in the dark as he had been for the last months.

He couldn't even imagine what would have happened if they hadn't been able to talk to each other and had gotten divorced all for the wrong reasons, all because of some stupid lies.

So much made sense now, her attitude that day she had asked him to leave, her words, this morning. That was what she had meant when he had exploded and asked her when she had become such a bitch. '_Maybe when I realized you have to be one to catch your own husband's interest_', she had been referring to Kate and he hadn't understood a thing.

At that instant, pain squeezed his heart at the thought of all he had almost lost, his wife, his daughter, his life, all because he had been too blind and too trusting. All because he had seen Kate as a friend, an ally, when all the time she had truly been the enemy. Working against him, against what he really wanted, without caring about anything but her own needs and desire.

"She s-said… you wanted a b-baby with her…" he heard Bella reiterate and could clearly see just how much it had devastated her to think that he could have wanted that with any other woman.

Even if he probably didn't know the half of it yet, it had to have ripped her heart apart to imagine that he could have considered that with Kate, when he seemed so hell bent to wait with her, and his throat clogged with renewed tears as he imagined the agony she had endured.

"Bella … I swear you're the only woman I've ever made love to… you're the only one I've ever had a baby with… and I don't plan to change those facts… you'll always be the only one, sweetheart… you're the one, Bella… the only one!" Edward vowed, holding her like he was afraid that despite all his sincere words, he would lose her nonetheless if he didn't.

"E-Edward …" Bella whimpered still, pain slicing her own heart and making it more and more difficult for her to breathe properly.

"Shh… it's gonna be alright, sweetie… I swear it's gonna be alright now… I've got you…" Edward whispered softly, cradling her against him before he picked her up and moved to the bed again. "Calm down, baby… and breathe, okay?" he coaxed her gently once they were settled down, all along stroking her back lovingly while she still seemed to fight to gulp for air.

"Yeah… that's it… see, it's okay…" he murmured when he noticed her breathing evening out and though she had yet to stop crying, he guessed that it was at least a good start.

"I'm s-sorry, E-Edward … I'm so… s-sorry…" Bella sobbed achingly, wishing she could crawl inside of him and forget how much it hurt.

"Hey, no… shh, it's okay… it wasn't your fault, sweetness… you didn't know… shh… don't cry…" Edward kissed her temple and reassured her softly, not minding in the least that she was almost cutting his air supply with the way she held on to him.

"God, I love you so damn much, Bella!" he breathed out hoarsely minutes afterwards when she released him, fingers tucking her disheveled hair away, lips caressing her wet cheeks where the evidence of her crying was still visible.

"I-I love you, too!" Bella reciprocated, the words barely audible though as his mouth closed over hers, his tongue eagerly demanding entrance and mating with hers when she granted it.

And to think that they could have missed, that they could have _lost_, all this, just because he had let Kate Denali enter their lives.

"W-What?" Bella whispered out when they parted seconds afterwards and Edward took a few minutes to just drink her in, eyes roaming lovingly over her face while his fingers trailed over its soft contours.

"Just… I… even crying, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" he murmured, an edge of wonder in his voice, like he was once more struck with how lucky he was to have her.

"I'm not!" Bella denied shyly, ducking her head in reaction. No matter how many times she could hear him say the same thing, she just couldn't get used to it.

"Yes, you are… and so much more!" Edward insisted tenderly, seeking her lips soon after again and pouring all his love in that kiss.

How they ended up lying on the bed with Bella's body molding into Edward's they didn't know, but none of them seemed to mind the change of position. Quite the opposite. For long minutes, they just laid there, kissing, caressing exposed skins, enjoying their closeness again, until Bella was suddenly struck with a thought and she pulled away from Edward, sitting up until she was straddling his abdomen.

"Wait a minute… I-I … I j-just don't understand… I mean… if you didn't know… I-I… if you didn't understand why I wanted you to leave… why did you tell me you did?… and why did you leave?" she pondered out loud, realizing that considering what he had told her now, considering the fact that he had never had anything to do with Kate, at least not in a romantic way, none of his reactions of the last few months made sense anymore. "Edward?"

He heard her call his name in question when he sat up as well but took too long to answer, and as she looked at him quizzically, he couldn't help but cringe and gulp audibly.

This was the moment of truth, he thought, panic and fear gnawing at his insides again. During those moments where he had been there comforting her, he had let himself forget that Kate hadn't been their only problem. That there had been so much more that still stopped them from being together, like before. His relationship with Kate had been a complete fabrication, a huge misunderstanding, but what had happened between Jacob and Bella was real, too real.

He had heard them, seen their closeness, and now he would finally know if Jacob Black was more important to her than him, than their marriage, or what had happened between them tonight. And as much as part of him wanted to be kept in the dark some more, if only to not suffer even more than what he already had, he knew he couldn't. He had done so for so long, and hadn't gained anything for all that in the end. If there was still a chance for them to let go of the past and save their relationship, it was now… or never.

"B-Because of Jacob." He expelled eventually after having let out a long suffering sigh first, but he obstinately refused to look at her as he did.

With his eyes cast down, he felt more than he saw Bella tensing up again, and his heart immediately dropped down to his stomach. His breath caught in his throat and he willed his body to stop trembling, but he knew it was no use.

"Jacob?… what the hell does Jacob have to do with this?" Bella queried astounded, her voice raising involuntarily as she wondered how Jacob Black could have played any part in their relationship, or how he could have led Edward to leave their house if that wasn't what he wanted.

"I-I know, Bella…" Edward said softly, admitting that much being probably one of the hardest things he had had to do. There wasn't any way they could ignore that factor now, even if the ' Kate issue' had been apparently solved, he couldn't pretend anymore, or bury his head in the sand any longer.

"You know?" Bella parroted, still as much in the dark as she had been a few seconds ago.

"But it… it doesn't matter anymore… r-right?" he had meant it like an affirmation, but instead the words came out as a question, tainted with all the insecurities he still felt, showing just how scared he was of whatever answer she would give to that. Yes, she had said she loved him, too, only a couple of minutes ago, but would that be enough now? "It doesn't… I mean… "

"What doesn't, Edward?" Bella asked as gently as she could, considering how agitated he seemed to grow suddenly. She didn't understand the first thing about his reaction, but some gut instinct told her that once she would, she would wish she hadn't known.

"Y-You know… I saw you with him… and well… I-I mean… I heard you… and it all became pretty clear to me… and I-I understand… I mean, really I do, Bella… considering how I was with you… but…" he rushed out, knowing that if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to say half of what he wanted to tell her, but he was cut short when Bella leapt off of him for the second time this night, as realization dawned on her.

"Oh. Lord… you have got to be _fucking_ kidding me!" she all but shrieked when she understood what he was telling her and what he _wasn't_, her whole body shaking all over as the horrendous truth of it all crashed down on her. All these months, all this time wasted and all for no reason, except their own stupidity. "This is not happening… I just know that this is. so. _not_. happening!"

"Bella?" Edward called her softly, confusion written all over his features as he saw her pacing frantically in front of her again. He had expected her to look surprised that he knew, guilty maybe, but certainly not… so angry.

"So you saw me with Jacob, huh? … and we were what?… kissing?… going at it hot and heavy?" she stopped suddenly and all but spat out, much to Edward's astonishment.

God, this had to be some kind of cosmic joke. It couldn't be any other way. She didn't want to believe that they could have ruined their life so much and all for nothing.

"No… NO!" Edward cried out the second he heard her, not needing some mental images of Bella and… god, he had already too much of them as it was. "I-I heard… I mean I heard him telling you that it was time to tell m-me… that you couldn't keep your relationship a secret to me any longer and…" he tried to explain, all the while keeping his eyes on Bella who had resumed her pacing.

"And you just thought that we were what? Together?… that I was _cheating_ on you?…" she questioned angrily, wincing herself as she uttered those last words, hating in fact that she had to just say them, and yet one look at his expression was all she needed to know that that was exactly what he had been thinking. "I can't believe this!… god, no wonder Kate managed to do what she did… with the little faith we have in each other!" she fumed, raking trembling fingers through her hair, like she just meant to pull it off all at once.

"Bella?" Edward breathed her name once more, standing up finally when he heard the frustrated cry that tore from her lips.

All the pieces of the puzzle were finally falling together, and she didn't know anymore if she should laugh now, or just collapse and cry until she would have no tears left. Kate had not just decided one day that she wanted Edward and that she would do all it took to have him, she had worked with what had been given to her.

Edward, thinking that she was having an affair with Jacob, had probably confided in Kate, like he had obviously done with so many other things, and Kate, whether she had believed it or not, had come to her with all her lies, knowing that whatever her reaction would be, Edward would most likely not protest much since he was already so angry with her and they were barely talking at all back then.

If Edward had trusted Kate, she knew certainly more about her than what Bella could even imagine, and she just fed in her own insecurities, hitting just where it hurt, and the craziest of all things was that she had let her do that. She had been stupid enough to not look deeper, beyond the surface and what was presented to her, to not question Edward's behavior when that was the first thing she should have done, and all had gone to hell from there on. And he had apparently done the same. God, they truly deserved each other.

Catching the expression of pure anguish on Edward's face now, she drew in a sharp intake of breath and willed herself to calm down, wanting to explain to Edward what he obviously still didn't understand.

"When did you hear us?… I mean Jacob and I?" she demanded more softly, even if she already more or less had an idea.

"I-I don't remember exactly, maybe a… maybe a month or so before I moved out… I-I don't know… I… " he stammered, trying to bury the memory in his mind, having long decided that he didn't want to associate that particular event with the day he had saved her life, the day that had changed _his_ life.

"In my classroom?" she continued, as he confirmed what she had suspected.

It would have been hard for her to forget that day, considering the following events. She remembered all too well how he had reacted the morning after, when she had finally realized that she couldn't go on like that, and decided to take Jacob advice and talk to him, only to have him lash out at her, spewing things that she had not understood back then with the elements she had.

Edward had seemed furious, hurt, he hadn't even slept in their bed that night, and she hadn't had any clue as to why. Now she did however, now she understood why he had seemed so disgusted when she had told him that she needed him, why he had said that he couldn't even look at her, why he had looked so angry and acted so strangely that last time they had made love, and she couldn't deny her part of responsibility. If she had talked to him sooner, if only she hadn't been so scared, they wouldn't have had to endure all this.

"Yeah!" Edward confirmed, though she would have most likely not heard him, hadn't he been standing so close to her.

"Edward … whatever you think you heard… it was definitely not what it looked like!… we weren't talking about us because there is _no_ us!… and there never was!" Bella declared, seeing exactly why he could have thought so, given what she recalled of that particular conversation she had had with Jacob, and knowing that Edward probably needed to hear the truth out loud as much as she had needed it earlier.

"You don't mean…" Edward croaked out, afraid to let his mind acknowledge the reality.

As much as he wanted to think that Bella had never strayed from their vows like he had believed, the truth was just so ludicrous that he wasn't sure it wouldn't be better to act like he hadn't heard a thing, to keep pretending that it had all really happened and just tell her that he had already found it in him to forgive her and forget.

"That's exactly what I mean!" Bella stated thickly, dispelling any doubt he could still have had.

Of course many things still didn't add up, like her behavior the couple of months before he had seen her with Jacob, or like what was the true nature of their relationship and what that conversation meant if they had not been talking about them as a couple. Things that he just couldn't figure out yet, but if Bella assured him that there was absolutely nothing between them, he could only trust her and believe her. Besides, given her agitation now, he couldn't think that she would be lying to him.

"Oh, fucking shit!" he growled, feeling suddenly nauseous and taking a few steps back.

He winced slightly then when his hip connected a little too violently with Bella's dressing table, but the physical blow couldn't compare with what he was feeling inside. His eyes remained trained on Bella however, and he felt chills coursing up his spine when he heard her give a forced nervous laugh, the sound like nothing he had ever heard before.

"This just has to be some bad joke… some kind of really bad, weird… twisted nightmare and I-I just know that I'm going to wake up soon because I really don't think I can see the end…" she cried out and Edward noticed immediately just how close to losing it again she was. "What's gonna happen next, huh?… Vampires are going to invade the freaking Earth and… and ask us to give up our daughter because she's the destined mate of some … leader of some Vampire coven… and then… then what?… we're going to discover that she's not even our biological daughter and that she's only the bi-product of some… some vampire and human mixed DNA cocktail that was implanted in me without my knowledge?… god, e-even _that_ couldn't be more…stupid… and c-crazy… and so totally surreal than _this_!" she started rambling completely incoherently, her hands flaring wildly around her, and Edward would have certainly laughed if the situation hadn't been so dramatic.

"Could be best for her… considering her parents are obviously both first class idiots… at least that would ensure she wouldn't have inherited any of our genes." He mumbled before he could stop himself, his knuckles turning white though, as he gripped the edge of the furniture and tried to regulate his breathing before he would pass out himself.

"It's not funny, Edward!" Bella snapped heatedly, staring at him like that was the last thing in the world he should have thought about saying.

"Well excuse me if I deal with this my own way, love!" he retorted right away, his tone matching hers, before he lowered his voice again and sighed heavily. This was not her fault after all, he shouldn't take it out on her. "God… would you rather see me losing it and bawling like a baby, Bella?… because believe me, I'm not far from it and if I just as much as look at this too seriously… let's just say that it's not going to be a pretty sight!" he pursued croakily when she looked at him, and her gaze softened some, obviously noticing that this was affecting him just as much. He was just trying to not let her see how it killed him inside.

Edward knew though that if he started to think too much about all that had happened, he wouldn't be able to hold it together much longer. It was already hard enough as it was, considering that he couldn't very well ignore the fact that they wouldn't have found themselves in this situation if he hadn't assumed the wrong thing to begin with, or if he had just gone and talked to her instead of hiding behind his fears and anger.

Of course it didn't change the fact that _he_ would have probably never left her, even thinking that she was being unfaithful, but at least it would have spared him the heartache, as well as to her.

"It's just that… I just wish we hadn't… j-jumped to conclusions like this! God, Edward, what did we do? How could we be so stupid!" all her own irritation seemed to suddenly deflate at his words and her face contorted in pain, making Edward ache with her.

"Shh… I know… believe me, I know!" in two quick strides he was by her again, gathering her to him and comforting her as best as he could in his own state.

"Edward … we just lost so much time… we just…" Bella whined brokenly, her eyes welling up with tears again, even when she knew that if she just started, she would probably not stop any time soon.

"We'll make up for it, I promise!" Edward stated as convincingly as he could, swearing inwardly that there wouldn't be a time from then on when he would doubt her again, or let her forget that she was the only woman who truly mattered to him. And that she would always be.

She was the center of his universe, the love of his life, and he would do his best to remind her of that fact, every day of the rest of their existence.

"And Janelle… she shouldn't have had to go thro-…" Bella went on nonetheless, only to be cut off by Edward again.

"For her, too, baby." he insisted, pulling away and pressing a tender kiss to her lips to silence her. "I promise you everything will be alright!" he repeated as he wrapped her in his arms again, and then kept whispering sweet words of love into her ear until he felt her stop trembling.

"You thought I was with Jacob… that's why… that's why you said I-I was the one spread-" Bella moaned out of the blue, her voice so hoarse that there wouldn't have been any way for Edward to miss just how much those few words, thrown in the heat of the moment, had hurt her.

"Shh… shh… I'm sorry… god, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean it, okay… I swear I didn't…" Edward cradled her face gently so she would meet his eyes and know how sincere he was, but it didn't stop him from cursing himself once more, as he remembered just how mean he had been this morning. "It's just… hearing you say you wanted to leave me… it hurt so much, Bella… and I just lost it… I know you're not like that… god, I know that… but when I saw you with him that day… it just broke my heart and… and this morning…"

"Why didn't you leave?" Bella cut him off mid-sentence this time, the way he looked at her not leaving any doubt that he meant what he was telling her now, but she needed to know why he had stayed with her then, if he truly thought she was seeing someone else.

"What?" Edward uttered, stroking her cheekbones absently.

"If you thought I was with Jacob… why didn't you leave me?" Bella elaborated some more, lifting troubled eyes up to him now and making him go weak in the knees.

Taking her by the hand, Edward moved to the bed once more and let her step between his legs once he had sat down. His thumbs just drew small circles over the back of her hands for a while, like he was trying to draw strength from the contact, and then, after having inhaled sharply, he took the plunge, knowing that he couldn't give her anything but the truth.

"Because I couldn't really blame you for something I knew I was mostly responsible for, I guess… and because no matter what… I'll rather be with you… even under such circumstances… than be without you!" the words were whispered so low that Bella had to strain her ear to understand everything, but what was evident was the pain still behind them.

She wanted to tell him how sorry she was herself that she hadn't hold on more to their love then, that she hadn't given him a chance to explain himself and instead had asked him to leave the second _she_ had doubted him, but whatever she was going to say was lost in the moment when glistening emerald pools met her own tearful ones again.

"God, I know I have still so much to make up for to you… I know that and I will… and I'm not just talking about these last few months… but for the last couple of years… I know I-I wasn't there for you… but I'll slow down… I swear to you that I will… I… I'll spend less time in the office, I promise… and no more business trips… not if I can do otherwise… I'll talk to Emmett about that and…" Edward started to make plans, promises that he hoped she knew he intended to keep, but she interrupted him once more, her voice soft but definitely skeptical.

"Edward … you know that's not possible…" as much as she wanted to believe him and hold him on to that, she knew well that he didn't _really_ have much choice in the matter.

He went where the business called him, and that meant many trips that took him away from her. She had hoped at first that it would only be temporary, but she had long understood that it went with the job and having his own firm, and that unless he quitted, she would just have to get used to it and that no matter how much she actually hated it.

"I'll make it possible… I'll find a way… I just want to be with you and Janelle… and I'll do my best to be home early every night… even if I have to bring some work here… but at least I'll be with you…" Edward didn't let her answer deter him, promising himself that whatever it took, he wouldn't let anything come between them ever again, and certainly not his job.

"Edward …" Bella protested weakly once more, but Edward pulled her to him before she could say much more, helping her so that she was now straddling his lap.

"I will find a way, baby… trust me!" he said decisively, brushing his lips over hers until any thought of fighting him on that left her mind.

Moments afterwards they were both lying on the bed again, enjoying the sudden silence, Bella resting her head on his hard chest and caressing his side leisurely.

"Edward? if… if you…" she started hesitantly after a while, wondering why she was imposing this on herself, why she wanted to know more about the woman she now hated more than she had ever thought possible, but she just had to ask.

"If I what?… tell me!" Edward encouraged her gently, his fingers dancing at the nape of her neck and making Bella feel so relaxed that it was a wonder she was still able to think at all.

"If you're not… if you're not… with Kate… what is she doing at Rosalie's?" she blurted out at last, but her eyes stayed fixed on Edward's chest, like that was suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"How do you…? Did you talk to her?" Edward was immediately on alert again, all but forcing Bella to look up at him.

After what he had learned tonight, the last thing he wanted was for her to talk to Kate, or even less to come anywhere near her. God, if he just heard that Kate had done anything to upset or hurt Bella again, he didn't care what time it was, he would go and hunt her down.

"Yeah…tonight… I-I couldn't join you on your cell, so I called and she answered and I-I thought…" Bella admitted, biting her bottom lip as she wondered if he was going to throw a fit again, or what. He didn't really look calm to her right now.

Yet that was the last thing she still wanted him to clear out, even if now considering what she knew, she was convinced that the explanation would be a long way off from anything she could have conjured up in her mind ever since she had made that call.

"I wasn't there… there's been a flood in her apartment or something… at least that's what she told me… I'm not sure about anything anymore… but anyway… I told her that she could stay in the apartment until her problem was solved… but in the end, _I_ decided to stay at Jasper's in the meantime… but you don't have to worry about her… she's supposed to leave for a three-weeks vacation tomorrow anyway… and when she comes back, she's in for a big surprise!" Edward explained, his voice raising a few notches by the end of his speech.

Kate was just lucky that she wouldn't have to show up Monday morning if he had to go to work himself, because two days would certainly not be enough time for him to calm down. He wasn't even sure that three weeks would help her.

For now, he kept quiet about what had happened that had led him to take that decision and made him stay away from Kate however, because in the state Bella was, he didn't think that she would take very well the fact that he had given Kate any opportunity to make a pass on him, or even less that he had been stupid enough to not see it coming.

He would tell her everything though, as soon as he would be sure that they could talk about it without the conversation causing her any pain whatsoever, not even the slightest.

"What are you going to do?" Bella couldn't help asking, even if Kate's fate at this point was the last of her worries, as long as Edward got rid of her and that as fast as possible.

"What I have to… make her pay… but that will have to wait… I think we really have a bigger problem right now!" Edward told her vaguely before rolling them over so he was on top now.

"We do?" Bella questioned, quite surprised, though she could tell by the way he was staring at her that whatever he was going to say wasn't something that would hurt as much as everything else had already. Well, hopefully.

"Yeah… baby, somewhere along the way we apparently just stopped talking to each other… and trusting each other… I mean… a few years ago, we would have never let this happen… never… and now we're really going to have to work on that, because I don't want anything… and I really mean anything… coming between us ever again! I couldn't stand it… it-it would just kill me… I couldn't feel like I… like I'm losing you again… I b-barely survived the first time… I just… couldn't…" his voice was quivering by the time he finished, his whole body was trembling slightly again, but he knew that this had to be said. He just couldn't imagine them going through something like that again just because they weren't able to communicate, and he wasn't sure they would find each other again, or just get out of it unscathed if they did. "Do you think you could do that with me, baby?"

There was so much heartache in his tone and at the same time so much insecurity that a huge lump formed in Bella's throat and she wasn't able to do much more but nod mutely. All this time, she had thought he had been happy with the one he really wanted to be now, when in reality he had just been as miserable as she had been herself. If not more in fact, at least she didn't have any clear image of him and Kate wrapped in a tight embrace, whether it was a friendly one or not. She didn't even want to think about how many times that picture of Jacob and her had come back to haunt him then.

"So if we have any doubts… however insignificant they are… we should just tell the other… and really talk about it! No more secrets… no more lies, or… or pent-up feelings, or whatever… okay?" he went on when she acquiesced, wanting to establish some new ground rules right away, before they tried to solve anything else.

They had spent too much time before bottling up everything inside, what they really thought, what they felt, what they wanted, if they wished to make it work this time around, they needed to be always honest with each other, to trust each other and most of all talk to each other.

"Yes." Bella whispered, sealing their promise with a few soft kisses that said so much more then than any words could have.

When they parted, they held on to each other, relishing in the contact as much as in the loving words they exchanged, until Edward acknowledged that if they wanted to be honest, they should as well start right now. And there was something he really wanted to understand.

"Baby, do you want to talk about it? … I mean, can you tell me what Jacob and you were talking about that day?" he queried quietly, but he instantly felt her tense in his embrace, and almost immediately regretted having asked. "It's okay, you don't have to, if you don't want!" he was quick to add, not wanting to push her, even if he was truly dying to know.

As long as he was sure that she wasn't intimately involved with Jacob, he guessed that he could wait, a least some more, until she would be willing to talk about what had really been going on that day.

"It's not that… it's just… I don't want to hurt you!… I-I… I d-don't want you to hate me!" Bella answered tremulously, wanting more than anything to tell him everything, but now was probably not the right moment. Not after the night they had both already had.

"Bella, I love you… don't you ever forget that again, okay?… I've been in love with you my whole life and it won't ever change, no matter what!" Edward whispered back tenderly, the emotions in his words matching the look of pure love he was giving her.

And she knew. She knew everything he was saying was true, but that didn't stop her from being scared, or being afraid of what his reaction would be. She remembered all too well how much it had hurt her, how much it still hurt sometimes even months later, she wasn't sure he was ready to go through the same pain right then, or even less if she was ready herself to walk down that road with him again now.

"I know… it's just… Edward, can we talk about this later?… I don't think I could…" she expelled at last, shuddering just at the thought of what that conversation would do to both of them. She hated even more that she wasn't able to give him the answers he wanted right away, but she truly thought that it was for the best.

"Sure… whenever you're ready, love." Edward conceded easily, the last thing he needed being for her to feel like he wanted to corner her, or control her already, the very first day that they were back together.

Now that he thought of it, he remembered clearly having heard her say more or less the same thing to Jacob that day, that he would hate her if he knew, but he couldn't see what she could have done that would have made him feel that way about her. Even when he thought she was with Jacob, he couldn't, so she was probably exaggerating some and flipping for nothing. Whatever it was, he was sure now that it couldn't be that terrible, so for the time being, he would leave it at that and let her come to him when she would be ready.

Deciding that they would have enough time to really discuss everything anyway, he lied down again, resting his head over her bosom, and for a very long time, he just stayed there, contented for the first time in a very long while, savoring the feel of her fingers running slowly through his hair.

There couldn't be anything in the world that could feel better than this. Being with Bella. So close that he could hear her heartbeat thudding in his ear. His arm wrapped tightly around her. His body nestled between her thighs. Intimate, even if not yet one completely.

No, nothing could top this… except maybe…

"Bella?" her name spilled from his lips in a breathy murmur that barely cut through the comfortable silence surrounding them.

"Yes?" Bella answered just as softly, but not stopping in her ministrations until he propped himself on his elbows and regarded her with his heart in his eyes.

"Can I come back home, baby? … F-For good, I mean!" he demanded in a trembling whisper, and Bella just about broke down again.

God, he looked so much like the little boy she remembered then, shy, insecure and almost lost, though she couldn't recall having ever seen him look so vulnerable at the same time before, like his whole life depended solely on her answer.

"No, you can't…" she breathed out thickly, the tears shimmering in her eyes mirrored in his, even if she managed a small smile when she caught the expression on his face at her negative words. " You _have_ to… because I don't think I would be able to live another single day without you!"

The smile she received herself in return could have probably lit up the whole house -or just maybe made him look like a complete demented fool- but she wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world at that instant, and just knowing that she was the cause of such breathtaking sight left her feeling all giddy inside.

"Thank you!" he panted hoarsely, seeking her lips almost immediately afterwards and truly feeling like his heart would just burst out from the sheer joy he felt then.

"E-Edward …" Bella moaned out when she felt his tongue trail down her neck seconds later, as at the same time one of his hands crept under his shirt.

"I love you!" Edward came back to nibble at her bottom lip, tugging gently on it and bringing forth a low needy groan from her mouth. "Let me show you how much!"

At that instant, those few words became the only thing that mattered to both of them as they got lost in the feel of each other again, and Bella was all too ready to let him worship her body and make her remember how much he did love her, even if it hadn't been so long yet now that he had proved that to her.

Still, there was no way she would have protested when very slowly Edward unbuttoned the shirt that was clearly on his way, his lips constantly searching for more skin to taste, and it was definitely not long before she was helping him out of his boxers and letting him slide back home. Where he belonged.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

It couldn't have been more than a couple of hours later when Bella opened her eyes again, yet she felt so invigorated that it felt like she had been asleep for days. She didn't think that she had ever felt better in fact.

Leisurely, she stretched out, rolling slightly onto her side and instantly seeking for Edward's warmth, when the only thing she felt was the empty space where he should have been and she instantly froze.

It started slow, a small disturbing feeling in the pit of her stomach, but spreading so fast that Bella was suddenly finding it very hard to even just take in her next breath.

Tears pooled in her eyes before she could control or stop herself and the next second, she bolted up right, gulping desperately for air, even if her efforts didn't seem to help in any way at that instant.

Her trembling fingers reached for the lamp at her bedside as at the same time her other hand clamped over her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle her sob, but even with that the small whimper could be heard through the heavy silence oppressing her.

"No… no, no, no…" she cried, throwing the sheet off her body and scrambling to her feet, the task being made all the more difficult since her legs seemed to have suddenly turned to jelly.

Her steps were unsteady as she all but ran to the bathroom, praying with all her might that she would find him there, and in her haste to reach her goal, she didn't even pay attention to the small details that could have reassured her right away.

Like the fact that the sheets were warm where Edward had still been lying minutes ago, or the fact that she was naked under the shirt she was wearing, when she shouldn't have been if she had really just been imagining the whole night, or simply that the water was running audibly when she approached the bathroom door.

Her hand was shaking fearfully when she reached for the doorknob, her heart pounding in her ears, but before her fingers even connected with it, the door flew open and with a sharp cry, she all but threw herself into Edward's arms.

"Oh, god… Edward…" she sobbed, her own arms winding around his waist and nearly squeezing the life out of him.

"Oh… wow… wow there…" Edward chuckled, even as he stumbled backwards with the force of the sudden contact.

Not that he minded the closeness of course, but the last thing he had been expecting when coming out, was to find Bella there and obviously eager to attach herself to him again. At least if he judged by the fact that it had only been a couple of minutes since he had left her sleeping there, called into the bathroom by an urgent need, and had barely had time to wash his hands and open the door when she had come barreling into him.

It wasn't until he felt the wetness on his naked chest however, that he realized something was really off.

"Bella?… what?… what is it?" he questioned immediately, the second he understood that she wasn't exactly just happy to see him like he had first assumed, but was actually upset and crying once more. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Nothing!" she mumbled, voice muffled by his broad chest as she clung to him for dear life. It was nothing at all now that he was there, now that she could touch him, feel him.

"Something, obviously!… you're crying!" Edward pulled away and framed her face, looking at her for any clue of what could explain what had her so worked up again.

"It-It's stupid!" Bella shook her head, feeling foolish now.

It was indeed ridiculous to have reacted so violently, she realized that now that her fear had been appeased. It had just happened too often before, and the feeling of emptiness she had felt at realizing that he wasn't by her side had been so overwhelming that she hadn't been able to think clearly.

"Tell me, love!" Edward insisted, bracketing her hips and lifting her up until he had her settled down on the bathroom countertop. He then stepped between her legs and gently brushed her hair off her face so he could really see all of her, the gesture so tender that he nearly brought Bella to tears again, and she knew she couldn't not tell him.

"It's just that I woke up… and you weren't there… and I just thought… I-I thought it was all a dream again… and…" she tried to explain, but the words came out with difficulty, no matter how hard she tried to calm her racing heart.

"Oh, sweetie… didn't you listen to anything I told you before?… I'm here and I've absolutely no intention to leave ever again, or go anywhere… not without you!" Edward reminded her softly, thinking that if she didn't get it yet, he would just have to work harder until she would feel completely secure again.

"I know, it's just that… for a second…" she started again, but Edward didn't need to hear more to know what she meant.

"Shh… I understand, don't worry!" he cut her off, fingers pressing lightly on her lips, knowing exactly just how surreal it all still felt. He had had to resist the urge to pinch himself when he had woken up as well, so he couldn't really blame her. "Now, could you do something for me?"

"What?" Bella asked, turning her big doe eyes up to him and making his heart skip an unexpected beat.

"I think you're crying too much here, honey… and I just can't stand to see you cry… do you think you could work on that?… _For me_?" he almost pleaded, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones, talking to her like he would talk to Janelle if he had to convince her to do something really important for him.

"Only if you help me!" she replied, closing her eyes when he rested his forehead against hers and his hands went and settled on her waist. How could anyone resist this man?

"I will! Don't worry, if it depends only on me, you won't ever cry again!" Edward all but promised, before pulling her for a sweet kiss.

And then another. And another hungrier, until the only thing they could think about was how much they had indeed to make up for. And at that instant neither of them could see why they shouldn't start right now. No matter how late it was, and even knowing that they would probably regret the lack of sleep when their sweet little daughter would come and wake them up with the larks.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"Mom, yeah, hi… no, no… everything's okay… I'm fine… I-I'm sorry… I know… it's just…" Edward stammered into the phone, cut almost every time by his mother's rushed out questions.

If he had thought that this conversation was going to go smoothly, he had been highly mistaken, obviously. He loved his mother dearly, but maybe calling her almost first thing in the morning when he was barely awake -and moreover with the night activities- had not been the most clever thing to do.

Getting back to bed and to Bella again felt suddenly even more tempting than it had been a few minutes ago when he had come down, only to find the living room a complete mess. Their clothes were scattered about everywhere, the clear reminder of what had happened between Bella and him, and even if the sight had made him smile fondly, he had known then that he had some serious cleaning up to do before Janelle woke up and started wondering what exactly they had been doing there.

He had actually been on his way to do just that when he had picked up his jacket and remembered that his parents had called yesterday and he had not answered. A quick check at his missed calls had even shown that they had tried several times again this morning, and he had immediately decided to call them back, wanting to reassure them, only to face the inquisition his mother had obviously decided to put him through.

"_Where were you, __Edward__?… you got us worried sick… we tried to call you I don't know how many times…_" he heard his mother fire quite disapprovingly and he couldn't help but feel bad for having scared them.

Considering the message he had left them, and that so late, it was little wonder if his over-protective mother had panicked some. He could be 28 years old and be a father himself, he was still his mama's boy.

"I know, mom… and I didn't mean to worry you…" Edward apologized right away, but his mother was obviously on a roll and barely let him talk at all.

"_What happened, __Edward__?… we got your message and you sounded so… I don't know… tired and… and scared…_" she pressed on, remembering how hollow his voice had sounded, and how terrified it had left her feeling, even if she had done her best to convince herself that he was alright.

"It's a long story, mom… too long probably to go over it on the phone… I-I just… I just wanted to let you know that everything was alright now!" Edward replied, sighing wearily and knowing that he would certainly have some explaining to do later, and just thinking about that conversation was enough to make him shudder involuntarily again.

He didn't want to think back about how lost he had felt when he had thought he was about to lose the two most important people in his life, but he knew that his parents would probably want to hear the whole truth.

"_Now_?" Esme queried almost apprehensively, sensing that apparently whatever had happened was still affecting her son some.

"Yeah… I-I know you probably want to know everything… and I'll… stop by later if you want and we'll talk… I just… I kind of have some things to do right now… I…" Edward told her, bending down to pick up Bella's clothes now, a stupid grin tugging at his lips as he reached for her panties.

"_Where are you now, __Edward_?" she asked then, wondering what her son could have to do so early in the morning, but most of all, _who_ he was doing it with.

"Home." Edward answered before he could think about it, and only when he noticed the suspicion in his mother's voice, did he realize that it was most likely not the thing to say.

"_Home?… __Edward__, I called you there not half an hour ago and _you_ didn't answer… in fact, I was quite surprised to recognize the voice of your secretary when she did take the call the second time… it looked like I was waking her up_!" Esme informed him not so pleasantly, making Edward cringe even if she couldn't see it. "_Is there anything I should know about that, __Edward_ _Anthony_?"

It was the use of his full name that did it, and he knew he would be in deep trouble if he didn't clear things out and fast.

"No… I-I… no… mom, it's not what you think… I wasn't there…" Edward replied hastily, not wanting his mother to get the wrong idea.

The last thing he wanted to discuss with her however was Kate and her manipulative nature, or just how easily she had fooled him all this time. Not so early at least, he didn't even want to just think about her now, so he hoped that his mother would content herself with the little he was ready to divulge right now.

"_Yet you just said you were home, __Edward__… are you lying to your mother now_?" she returned indignantly almost right away.

The last thing she wanted was to tell Edward how to live his life of course, but she would lie if she said she would approve if he indeed told her that he was having an affair with his secretary. Not that she could say that she had anything against the woman, but there was just something about Kate Denali that rubbed her off the wrong way. She was just too… sweet to be honest.

"No, of course not, mom, I… I'm just… I meant… not _that_ home…" Edward winced even before she answered, knowing that this had probably not come out right and that it wouldn't take her long to figure out what that meant.

"_Home, but not that home… what does that… wait a minute… you don't mean…_" she started confused, before stopping mid-sentence, almost afraid to hope.

She had always liked Bella, from the very first time she had seen her there at the hospital so many years ago, scared and devastated because of what had happened to Edward, and she knew all too well that her son was still crazily in love with his wife, even if he tried to act like he didn't sometimes.

She had never really understood why things had turned out the way they had in fact, the only thing she knew was what Edward had been willing to reveal, which wasn't much. She knew that Edward was definitely working too much and that it had impacted severely on their relationship over the years, but despite how useless it had seemed at times, she had never really lost hope for those two. They had just lost sight of what was really important somewhere along the way, but maybe now they had managed to work things out finally.

"I… yeah… like I said… I'm home…" Edward repeated awkwardly, not seeing very well what else he could tell her.

"_Is something wrong, __Edward__?… Are Janelle and __Bella__ okay?… Nothing happened to them, right_?" she couldn't help but ask as an afterthought when she remembered that whatever Edward had wanted to tell them yesterday night, it had been important.

"No, no, mom… they're fine... I just… I…" he was quick to reassure her, and then just blurted out the truth. Or as much of the truth as he could, considering that this was his mother he was talking to. "I… spent the night."

If Esme could have seen him then, she would have certainly laughed at the sight of him blushing like a little boy the second the words were out, but she was just too excited at the news to pay much attention to his sudden embarrassment.

"_You… oh, my…" _she shrieked the instant she understood what he meant, probably as thrilled at the news as Edward could be himself. "_Oh, __Edward__ … are you two back together?… Tell me you finally talked to the girl_!"

"Yes, mom… and yes… I did… we did… talk… everything's fine!" Edward confirmed, pleased to see that his mother obviously approved.

Not that he had ever had any doubt that she would, it would have been hard to, considering how many times she had tried to make him open up to her and given him advice, even when he sometimes didn't want to hear it.

"_Oh, __Edward__… I'm so happy for you, honey… you so have to stop by the house with her… and Janelle of course… it would be so good to see you three together again_!" Esme demanded almost right away, not even recalling when the last time was that she had seen Edward and Bella in the same room at the same time.

"Sure, mom… I'll talk to Bella about it… but now I should really just… " he tried to tell her that he was going to have to hang up now if he wanted to finish everything he had planned to do before Bella woke up, but before he had any opportunity to do so, he heard her yell, the sound nearly leaving him deaf.

"_Carlisle… Carlisle, come here… talk to your son… he finally came back to his senses and got his woman back!… I need to go and clean up a little bit before they come!_" the words carried through the house and over the line and he couldn't help rolling his eyes.

Leave it to his mother to alert the whole neighborhood about what was happening in his life, and work herself in a frenzy just because he was bringing Bella home again. You would think she had never been there before with the way Esme reacted.

And now his father would have his turn as well, he thought, as he heard him picking up the phone and ask his mother what had her so overjoyed suddenly.

"_Edward__? Hey… what's up, son_?" Carlisle greeted, smiling into the phone as he saw his wife run around like she was suddenly about to receive the Queen of England.

"Nothing much… I just was telling mom about… about Bella and I… I… we worked things out… and I guess… she just got a little carried away…" Edward tried to play it off at that moment, but he was pretty much sure that he would get a similar reaction from him.

"_You did?… that's fantastic… and it was about damn time, too_!" he heard his father exclaim, and he truly prayed that he wouldn't have to answer to as many questions as he had to with his mother. "_No wonder we couldn't join you… I guess you made up for lost time, huh?_" he said teasingly then, understanding better why Edward hadn't been able to take their calls.

"Dad, please…" Edward blushed to the roots of his hair once more, even if what his father had said was nothing but the truth. That didn't mean that he was ready to talk to him about what he and Bella had done or not, or to admit that he had indeed been quite _busy_ when they had called him and that was why he hadn't answered.

"_Hey… not that I could blame you… I mean I know how you two were… I remember that time I cau-_" Carlisle started much to Edward's mortification, and he certainly couldn't have been quick enough to stop him.

"_I_ would rather _not_… thanks, dad!" he growled, not wanting to have to remember how humiliating that particular memory had been.

Being caught by your father when you were making love to your girlfriend, even if you were already twenty, wasn't exactly something any boy wanted to see happening, and even less be reminded of. Their only luck had been that they had been partially covered, at least where it counted, and that his father had been kind enough to beat a discreet retreat before they realized that he had seen them. But that didn't mean that they hadn't heard about it later. It had taken Bella months actually to be able to stay in the same room as Carlisle and look at him in the eye without blushing furiously after she had known.

"Look, I'm just going to hang up now… I have to take care of the breakfast before Bella and Jay wake up." Edward said when he heard his father chuckle into the phone at his embarrassment, and he just knew that he should better cut the conversation short, or this was going to turn ugly very soon.

"_Oh, so whipped, so soon again… some things never change_!" Carlisle joked and this time Edward could even hear his mother laugh as well in the background, obviously having heard her husband's comment.

"Yeah, you're one to talk, aren't you?" Edward threw back, finding that rich coming from him when his dear mother had him completely wrapped around her finger. "By the way… where were _you_ yesterday night? _I_ tried to call you I don't know how many times… and there was no way to join you!" he reminded him, even if at that moment he didn't really care about that anymore, other than for the fact that it helped him turn the tables on him.

"_I wish I had something interesting to say about that… but the Jeffersons were having a reception, and your mother insisted on dragging me there… was a last minute thing apparently though._" Carlisle almost immediately sobered up, remembering how awfully boring that reception had been, even if Esme had seemed to have fun herself.

"So whipped as well… and for so long!" Edward snorted before he could stop himself, his dad's answer only confirming what he had already been thinking. "Anyway, tell mom that I will call her as soon as I've talked to Bella!"

"_Okay, son… we'll talk some more later_." Carlisle replied, as eager as Esme had been to see them all together again.

"Sure, bye, dad!" Edward said, ready to hang up at last, when his father stopped him once more.

"_Bye… and __Edward__… don't screw things up this time_!" he warned, even if Edward could hear that there wasn't any real reprimand behind the words.

"I won't, don't worry." he assured, before he finally put the phone back down into its cradle with a small smile.

Man, if this was what he had to go through on the phone, he could only imagine what his father would want to talk about some more later, like he had said. But well, today he was happy for the first time in what seemed like ages and there was probably nothing that could ruin that, so it didn't really mattered.

It didn't even take him that long to tidy up the living room after all, and after having gotten back upstairs to drop their clothes into the linen basket, and checked that Bella was still peacefully asleep, he made his way into the kitchen and started looking for everything he would need.

A little more than half an hour later, he was pretty proud of himself and all he had managed to accomplish, but he wasn't finished yet when he heard the first sign of life in the house.

The sound of the television carried over to the kitchen, soon followed by footfalls coming his way and he couldn't stop his heart from skipping a beat, knowing that soon his little girl would pass that door.

"Daddy?" Janelle padded into the room not long after what he had predicted, but what she found there was apparently something she had not been expecting, if her face was any indication.

She had known he was somewhere there since she had seen his jacket thrown over the living room couch and then heard him move around the kitchen, but that didn't mean that she wasn't stunned by the sight of him standing there in an old tee-shirt and some sweatpants.

"What you doing?"

"Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine!" Edward greeted her, a smile on his face as he noticed how surprised she was to actually see him there.

"Good morning!" she said back as he lifted her up in his arms the second she joined him and peppered her face with little kisses. "What you doing?" she repeated nonetheless once he stopped, not really used to see her father in the kitchen, at least not so early in the morning, and definitely not lately.

"Making you the breakfast of your life!" Edward answered good-naturally, as he held her high on his hip, and at the same time reached for the salt.

"Smells good!" she told him as she rested her head on his shoulder while Edward continued to work on the eggs he was scrambling. "You staying?" she then couldn't help but add, somewhat fearing his answer. It had been way too long since he had had breakfast with them, so she wouldn't be surprised if he had to leave before he had any opportunity to eat it with them.

"Would you like that?" Edward questioned instead of responding directly, and smiled brightly when he saw her nod eagerly in answer. "What does this sound like then? How about having me here every day when you get up and every night to get you to bed? … just like before?" he pursued then, almost sure of what would be her reaction to that.

It was only a morning ago that she had voiced her desire to see them be a family again, and he was pleased beyond belief to be able to give her that now.

"Really?" she wondered out loud, biting her lip, like she was afraid to really hope.

"Yes, really, sweetheart!" Edward confirmed, feeling something tug at his heart nevertheless as he realized how insecure she still was. Nothing could have wiped the smile off his face though, when what he said registered in her mind and her face literally lit up.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Janelle exclaimed immediately, bouncing in his arms elatedly, this being the best news she had heard in a long time.

"Glad to see you like the idea so much!" Edward chuckled as he nearly dropped her in her excitation, and then whispered conspiratorially: "Don't go and tell anyone, but I like it, too!"

"So it worked!" Janelle pondered, remembering that he had told her everything would be alright the night before and had obviously succeeded.

"Didn't I tell you I'd make it work?" Edward queried, not the least offended by the slight trace of wonder he still could detect in her voice.

"Yeah!" she conceded immediately, not admitting that at least a small part of her had not been so sure that he would be able to keep that promise, no matter how much she had wanted him to. It was complicated after all, he had said so himself. "Daddy?"

"Uh?" he answered absentmindedly, pouring the eggs in a small dish after having turned off the burner, and covering them so they wouldn't get cold while he took care of the rest.

" '_This_' is the bestest day of my life!" she revealed with the largest smile he had seen on her lips in a very long time.

"_Bestest_ than the Disneyland Day?" he wrapped his arms completely around her and teased playfully as he remembered their conversation of the previous morning.

"Yes!" she nodded right away, sure that nothing could top this one. Her daddy was coming back home, her mommy wouldn't be so sad anymore, what could be more wonderful than that?

"Well… you know what?… it's one of mine, too, sweetheart!" Edward concurred, hugging her tightly a brief seconds, until he spotted Bella at the entrance, a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts on, watching them with a small trembling smile on her lips.

"Hi" he mouthed softly, seeing as she made no effort to interrupt them. He didn't miss her misty eyes though, as she answered just as quietly and his breath immediately caught in his throat.

"Look who's here!" he whispered to his daughter, pointing to the door, and frowning when all she did was wave at her mother.

"Hey? Don't you have anything else to tell her?" he asked gently, not wanting her to think he was scolding her or anything, but still. He thought she would be more thrilled to see her mother, she usually was.

"I've already seen her!" Janelle said for all answer, tightening her grip around his neck, and Edward understood that they had obviously had their moment together before she had joined him in the kitchen. Apparently this was daddy time.

"Well… I haven't… Can I go and say hello?" he questioned playfully as he lay her on the kitchen counter top, knowing that he for one, wouldn't be able to content himself with just a wave and a soft hello.

"Yes!" she giggled, thinking that her father was being way too silly today, but he could be silly everyday from now on if he wanted, if that meant that he would stay with them and she would get to see him every morning just like he had said, and she would honestly be more than fine with it.

"Hey, you!" Edward breathed out as he reached Bella, kissing her softly before pulling her into his warm embrace.

"Hey, yourself!" she replied, immediately burying her face in his hard chest and relishing in the feeling of being in his arms again.

She knew they had only been asleep a few hours, but she had missed him all the same and it felt good to be there, so close to him again. Oh, how she loved this man.

Unconsciously, she tightened her grip on him, holding him so strongly that he was afraid she would suffocate him. He didn't mind however, enjoying the feeling as much as she did, until he heard her sniffle slightly and tried to pull away. Only she hugged him tight and had obviously no intention to let him go just yet.

"Don't cry, baby… no more tears, remember!" he whispered to her and caressed her back soothingly, only slightly relieved when he felt her nod against his chest.

"Feels so good having you here!" she murmured once she was calmed down, her fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck and making Edward acutely aware of how much he wanted her.

"God, yes!" he concurred right away, nuzzling her neck tenderly and losing himself once more in the feel of her.

It wasn't long before he was nipping at her skin gently and the only thing that stopped him from forgetting about the rest of the world, was Bella's soft voice reaching his ears.

"Edward?"

"Uh?" he answered, distracted and concentrating more on licking a trail up her throat than on the fact that there was apparently something important she wanted to tell him.

"Your daughter!" she pointed out to me, sure that he had obviously forgotten about her, or he wouldn't be getting so carried away with her there now.

"What about her?" was all he said, reaching her ear now and taking her earlobe between his lips, the feeling making Bella all but forget about any idea of stopping him. At least momentarily.

"She's here… she's… uh… looking at us!" she stuttered, closing her eyes briefly, her head spinning with the things he did to her.

It took a few more seconds to clear his clouded mind, but when Bella nudged him slightly, he knew he had to control himself and stop before this got out of hands.

"Well, love… _your_ vampire daughter is a fun spoiler!" he joked after having taken a deep needed breath, but it was still reluctantly that he let go of her at last.

"Must have inherited it from her father!" Bella threw back teasingly but not before having kissed his lips lightly, just enough to let him know that they would get back to this later… if they had any opportunity of course.

"Wait until I get my hands on him then!" Edward retorted, still referring to that crazy story Bella had blurted out yesterday when she had been so upset.

He still thought it was funny that she could have come up with such a thing, even if he should probably not let her know that, considering how she had reacted then.

As soon as the words were out, he noticed her look and couldn't help but smile all too innocently, following her as she reached for their daughter and then lowered her into a chair.

Bella herself was ready to take a seat at the table as well when Edward stopped her, handing her the plate with the eggs, before he deposited the dish with the pancakes down on it as well.

She looked at him quizzically then when he made a tsking sound when she tried again, and gasped when he sat just where she had intended to. She didn't understand what he meant to do in fact, until he pulled her to him.

"Come here!" Edward just said once he was settled, and before she could even answer or protest, Bella found herself on his lap, one of his arms around her waist, holding her tightly to him.

It was all too _new_ yet, even if considering that they had been married for over six years now it could sound ridiculous, but he needed to feel her close to him, and he couldn't let her get anywhere too far away from him just yet. He needed to touch her, to keep some kind of contact with her, however insignificant that contact could be.

Bella surely didn't mind at all, needing that as much as he did, but obviously someone wasn't sharing her parents' enthusiasm.

"What?" Edward chuckled, seeing as Janelle raised an eyebrow at them before frowning and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why mommy's not sitting on a chair?" he heard his daughter ask instantly, when she saw she got their attention, and he almost laughed out loud at her way of voicing her obvious disagreement and jealousy.

"Uh… because your daddy is more cozy!" Bella answered when she saw that Edward wasn't going to be of any help here, even if this was actually his fault if they had to answer to her in the first place.

"I want that, too!" Janelle pouted, her bottom lip trembling for good measure, knowing by experience that at least her daddy couldn't resist when she did that. And now was no different apparently.

"Okay… but why don't you let your mother stay a little while first and then you two will trade places, okay?" Edward tried to negotiate, not wanting to let go of Bella just yet, but not strong enough to deny his daughter anything when she turned that cute little face up to him.

He would give her an arm if she asked him to and without the slightest hesitation, he loved her that much, but even that couldn't be enough apparently when Bella decided to wiggle on his lap as they started eating. Then he just knew that there would be no way he could let Janelle sit on his lap after that. At least not any time soon.

**TBC…**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

AN: Hey, guys… sorry for the long wait, but this last week has been quite hectic for me.

Hmm, I seem to have lost a few reviewers again :? and I was just wondering if it was because you didn't like the chapter, were disappointed, or what? Not that there is any obligation for you to review each and every time, of course, but if there was something wrong with that last chapter, I will still like to know! ;)

**Nic-nicole19**: yeah, I know… and truthfully I thought of her, too, in the beginning and then I realized that I had made Tanya the bad guy in about every one of my other stories and I thought that it was seriously time for a change lol … beside that, I won't disappoint you with the happy ending, or at least I hope I won't lol… thanks for the review!

**Jc types**: I'm glad you saw my point and you actually didn't think that Edward was completely stupid for trusting Kate… yeah, he was definitely blind to what was really going on around him, but Kate really played the role of the good, caring and attentive friend well, so he never suspected a thing! As for his reaction when he sees Kate again, let's just say, she will definitely not like some of the things he will have to say to her… but she had it coming, right? Lol Thanks once more for always reviewing! (oh, and only one left and yeah, 100 reviews… I still can believe it lol but I really like reading everyone's thoughts!)

**Vampiregurl**… wait in line lol trust me, I'm the one writing and I feel like decking her about every other line lol I might let Bella do that for us, though ;) thanks, too!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: yeah, it was time that was cleared, they both needed to hear that neither of them had strayed from their vows! For the rest, all the answers to your questions are in chapter 16, so just two more chapters left to wait ;) thanks as well for always reviewing!

Okay, here goes… prepare yourselves for the angry mama-in-law's arrival lol

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen.**

Saturday came and went faster than they could have predicted, but by the time they went to bed, Edward and Bella were strangely more exhausted than they remembered having ever been in their whole life.

Janelle had been restless all day, but that had not really been the hardest thing to handle. The true problem had been that for some reason, she had been even more clingy than usual where Edward was concerned, refusing to leave his side for any reason if she had any other choice, and consequently her parents had barely gotten any moment to themselves.

As much as they loved their daughter, it had been really hard at times to make her understand that Edward wasn't going anywhere and that she could let go of him without fearing he would just disappear, or be patient with her when all they wanted was to find themselves a few minutes alone, even just to talk without her overhearing.

There had been so many things that still needed to be said aloud, talked about and Janelle's behavior had not really helped with that, or left them the opportunity.

Seeing that they wouldn't be able to have a conversation that would last more than five minutes without being interrupted by their overexcited daughter, Edward and Bella had then eventually decided that they would leave the long and strenuous talks for the nights when they would be away and Janelle would be asleep, knowing that she would be too exhausted then, after her day activities, to cause much problems.

Bella had managed to get a hold of Harry on Saturday morning, and without giving him too many details, she had explained that although she was feeling better, she would still need a week off nonetheless, but like Edward had predicted he had accepted right away.

His only condition had actually been that she tried to provide him with some work or tests for her students, so he would have something to give them during her absence, and when Bella had told him that it shouldn't be a problem, he had just asked her to take care of herself and enjoy her time off, and hoped that she would come back fully rested and feeling even better.

Bella suspected of course that he knew she wouldn't be spending that week alone and that she would probably 'reconcile' with her husband, since he knew they had been having problems, but since he hadn't asked where she planned to go or what she planned to do, she hadn't given him more information.

In the end, when Edward and Bella had seen that they couldn't come up with any place they wanted to go, they had decided to let Janelle choose and hadn't been more surprised than that when it ended up that their destination would be Orlando, Florida, hometown of Mickey.

Apparently she was all too ready to relive the 'bestest' day of her life, and when Edward had pointed out that if they went there now, they wouldn't be going again for her next birthday, she had just said that she didn't care and wanted to go now, and that had settled it.

Bella and Edward themselves had not really cared one way or another anyway, as long as they were together, so reservations had been made and a flight booked as soon as Bella had gotten Harry's consent, and one little girl had been even happier that day than when she had seen that her father was cooking breakfast in the morning, if that were possible.

The only dark point of the day had actually been when Kate had dared call Edward, though at first neither Bella nor Edward had known why she would. She had no reason to, considering she wasn't working that day and wouldn't be for a while, but Bella had suspected that she probably only wanted to know what was happening, given how Edward had left the office the previous day.

They hadn't gotten the answer, since Edward had refused to pick up no matter how many times she had tried, but he had truly nearly exploded when she had had the nerve to leave a message on her last call, telling him that she was worried, but hoped that everything was alright and to call her back, since she would like to talk to him before she left.

At that moment it had really taken all he had to not go and take care of her once and for all, but Edward had felt Bella tense instantly at the suggestion and had quickly renounced. For the time being at least.

Most of the rest of the day had been spent at his parents', and later at the beach, and Edward had been truly glad when his mother had offered to come with them, ensuring that way that he would manage to spend a few minutes with his wife, without worrying about leaving Janelle alone.

It hadn't been for long, but Esme had managed to pry her granddaughter off his side when she had suggested they made a sand castle, while mommy and daddy went for a quick bath, but Edward had enjoyed the moment thoroughly.

A little too much maybe actually, since the sight and feel of Bella in nothing more than a skimpy two-piece swimsuit had nearly driven him crazy and forced him to take her there in the water, but who cared… beside his mother of course.

Let's just say that Esme had not been particularly thrilled, or amused, when she had heard a few kids snickering about the two people who were all but going at it in front of everyone, and she had looked up only to find her son devouring his wife like that would be the last thing he would be doing. Even if she had probably been more upset because they weren't even able to behave when their child, among many others, was near and could perfectly witness what they were doing, than because she didn't understand them.

There was no need to say though, that she had given them both a piece of her mind when they had parted and gotten out, once they realized how many people were actually looking at them, some clearly less amused than others, and from then on, Edward had done his best to not stay too close to Bella, or touch her too much.

At least until the night. Then, once in the privacy of their bedroom, he had given free rein to his needs and desire, and worked out all the frustration of the day, and there had been no stopping them. The least that could be said was that it had been… explosive in every way… and they had only stopped when they hadn't been able to move at all.

They had both been worn out afterwards, and the only thing they had managed to still do was to dress up again, for Janelle's sake and just in case, and had almost right away drifted off to sleep.

That was most likely why Edward fought so much, when someone tried to pull him out of the beautiful dream he was having, not ready yet to face the real world.

If only they would let him be of course.

"Daddy?… _Daddy!_" the soft but insistent sound reached his ears once more and eventually aroused him completely from his sleep, but it took Edward still a few seconds to get his bearings back and realize where he was.

"Uh?" he grunted sleepily, his eyes opening slowly, and the next second he couldn't suppress a grin when the first thing he saw was Bella plastered to his side.

"Edward?" he heard her mumble softly, clearly disoriented herself, and he placed a tender kiss on her forehead when a gentle hand on his shoulder caught his attention and he understood what was going on. More or less.

"Shh, sleep love… I've got her." he murmured lovingly, disentangling his arms from around her and turning to the little culprit who had woken them up.

"Janelle? What are you doing up, baby?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper so to not disturb Bella, who he could see had gone back to sleep almost right away.

"You said we were going to grandma and grandpa's." Janelle declared as an explanation, and Edward nearly rolled his eyes at that.

Why wasn't he surprised?

Yesterday, when she had been ready to go to sleep, he had all but promised her that he would take her to his parents' so she could play with her new friend, a little girl who was about her age and had just moved a few houses down his parents'. Apparently they had hit it off immediately a few days ago, when Janelle had been over there playing in the garden, but it had only gotten worse when his dear daughter had learned that her new friend had a little puppy dog that was barely a few months old.

She had nearly hit the roof then, and had been talking non-stop about how cute the little thing was, only to beg Edward afterwards to let little Lena and her puppy come and live with them, that way she would be able to play with the dog whenever she would want, but she wouldn't be responsible for it, since it wouldn't really be hers.

Yeah, he had had a talk with her about that and the need to be older to take care of an animal, after Janelle had attempted to convince him to get her a dog and tried to make him believe that it was okay with Bella as long as he agreed.

Anyway, Edward had laughed at her suggestion of course, which apparently had not been the reaction Janelle had been expecting, and as a last resort to get her to sleep -what? he had some other… _needs_ to take care of, and was in kind of a hurry- he had had no choice but to explain that that was not possible but that if she wanted, he would take her back the next day and she would play with Lucky some more.

He hadn't regretted his words until that second.

"Uh, yeah, I-I did… but it's too early yet, honey." Edward told her as a quick look at the alarm clock made him realize that it was even worse than what he had thought.

No wonder he felt so tired, he and Bella had barely been asleep for a few hours that their daughter already wanted them to get up and be ready to face another day.

"But you said we'll go when I wake up!" Janelle reminded him, pouting exaggeratedly, which of course succeeded in making Edward feel bad.

Yet probably not enough for once to make him get up when it was clear it was still dark outside.

"Yeah, I know… but I didn't think you'll wake up so soon." Edward explained, though it was evident from the look on his daughter's face that said explanation wasn't satisfying enough.

"But I wanna go… I wanna see Lucky and Lena!" Janelle whined, and Edward nearly laughed at how much she looked like her mother when she used the same trick to make him do whatever she wanted. Yeah, a perfect imitation, right down to her little hands on her hips.

"Honey, it's really too early right now and I'm sure that grandpa and grandma are not even up yet… nor are Lena and Lucky… besides, we should wait for mommy to wake up first as well!" Edward suggested, hoping that at least the mention of her mother would make her a little more patient, but it didn't take him long to understand just how wrong he was.

"Then make her wake up!" Janelle argued stubbornly, thinking that if that was the only thing they needed, it was quite easy.

She wouldn't see her new friends for a week, couldn't her daddy see that it was important she made the most of the time she still had left to see them now?

"Okay, Janelle… come here…" Edward coaxed her and took hold of her hand to bring her even closer. "We can't right now, sweetie…" he started, smiling when Janelle hopped on the bed and straddled his chest.

"Why not?" she interrupted almost right away, catching Edward slightly off guard since he hadn't expected to hear her questioning him on that.

"Because mommy needs her sleep." he said simply, judging that that was reason enough, but no, not for the inquiring mind of his child.

"Why?"

"B-Because she's… tired…" he stuttered awkwardly, wondering why he was suddenly feeling so stupid… and guilty.

Oh, maybe it was because he knew _exactly_ why Bella was so tired, but he didn't really feel like explaining the real reason why to his five years old curious daughter.

"Why?"

"Uh… because… she went to bed… late!" Edward continued even more lamely if that was possible.

This had to be some kind of sick way to punish him for something.

"Wh-"

"Janelle, sweetheart… why don't we just wait until she wakes up on her own, huh?" he suggested hopefully, if not desperately, knowing that there wasn't much more he could take of her questions.

It felt like forever to him until Janelle seemed to finally consider what he had said and agreed, but he could have honestly almost jumped from joy when she did.

"Okay." she shrugged at last before lying on top of Edward, obviously having understood that there wasn't much more she could do for now.

"And in the meantime, we should get some more sleep, too!" he tried, admitting that he would definitely not mind a few more hours of rest himself.

"I'm not sleepy anymore!" Janelle whispered out almost right away, but didn't make any effort to move from her position like he had expected her to.

"But I am… don't you want to take a nap with daddy?" he questioned softly, stroking her hair and smiling when he heard her yawn despite her earlier protests.

"Okay, but not long!"

"Not long, sweetie!" he repeated, feeling his eyes quickly growing drowsy again as well.

Not long, no, but it would surely not take much more for him to start that nap.

"Can I stay here?" Janelle demanded sleepily, but fighting to stay awake a little more nonetheless.

"Sure, baby… do you want to lie between me and mommy?" Edward offered, already shifting a little away from Bella, so he could settle their little girl between them.

"No, it's okay here…" she refused and Edward couldn't help the silly grin that crept upon his lips when she moved a little to get more comfortable on top of him, and he felt one of her tiny hands drift under the sleeve of his tee-shirt.

"Okay, honey." he whispered back, apparently satisfied with this arrangement himself.

"Sooo cute." he then heard from next to him suddenly, and as he turned to look at Bella, he saw her with her eyes still closed, but an amused smile was playing on her lips.

"Traitor!" he growled when she cut the distance he had put between them seconds ago and he understood that she had most likely been awake during all his conversation with Janelle… and had let him manage alone.

"I love you, too!" Bella just murmured, one of her hands joining the one he had laid protectively on the small of Janelle's back, their fingers meeting and immediately lacing together.

Edward was just ready to answer, when he realized that he didn't need to. It was already perfect as it was. _They_ were perfect like this, a family again.

And as that last thought drifted through his mind, Edward knew that he couldn't ask for anything more than that. He had his girls in his arms again, and he couldn't feel happier than at that moment.

* * *

The soft warmth of a hand gently caressing her stomach was what woke Bella up again a few hours later, and she immediately snuggled into the hard body pressing behind her, sighing blissfully at the feeling.

"Morning, beautiful wife of mine!" was breathed softly into her ear and she smiled now, thinking that there could be no better way to wake up than in the arms of the man she loved.

"Morning, sexy… _n-naked_?… husband of mine." she replied, a little surprised when one of her hands came into contact with his naked hip.

"Glad you noticed!" he murmured back, the smirk and desire evident in his voice.

He had barely gotten back from his parents' and the first and only thing he had done was undressing and getting back into bed with her, one and only thought in mind… taking full advantage of their moment of privacy.

"Edward? What about Janelle?" Bella couldn't help mentioning, as enjoyable as the way he was nibbling at her skin and strumming his fingers on her flat stomach was.

"She's not here." he let on, teeth working her earlobe now and causing Bella to growl huskily.

"She's not?" she sighed, wondering nonetheless where her daughter could be if she wasn't there, and when she would come back.

The last thing they needed was to have her walking in on them about to make love, and she had no doubt this was where they were heading.

"I just took her to my parents' " he informed her, chuckling softly when he realized that she obviously had already forgotten, or just been too out of it to remember.

Janelle had waken her up before they had left, or at least tried, and Bella had even mumbled a soft goodbye to them before rolling over and going back to sleep again. Guess she hadn't known what she was doing at that moment.

"You did?" Bella frowned, having some recollection of Edward telling her they were leaving, and Janelle kissing and hugging her, but nothing real clear. Apparently she had been just too tired to really pay attention.

Well, she would have to make up for that later with her daughter.

"Yes, and now that I've taken care of that… turn around, and let me take care of _you_!" he murmured, already rolling her on her back, the husky timbre of his voice leaving little doubt about what kind of 'care' he was willing to provide.

"What? Do you plan to play doctor?" Bella teased, moaning softly when he settled between her legs and she noticed how aroused he already was.

"Why not… tell me where you hurt, and I'll see what I can do." he whispered slyly, the mischievous glint in his eyes showing just how much the idea of playing doctor indeed appealed to him.

"Well, now that you mention it… I've been feeling this ache for months now, doctor… and it just won't go away." Bella played along and pouted, rubbing suggestively against him, delighted when she heard Edward groan in response.

"Really? Where?" he demanded, his voice cracking slightly as his groin tightened even more at the contact.

"Everywhere and all over!" Bella panted, already breathless since Edward was teasing her neck with his tongue in that particular way he knew drove her insane.

"Like here?" he whispered, biting lightly on her skin, to which Bella could only nod mutely. "… and maybe here?" he added after having opened her shirt, and slowly let his lips trail down to her chest.

"Huh-uh!" Bella purred as he reached her aching breasts and twirled his tongue around one hard nipple, her hand gripping at his hair, hoping to keep him there just a little longer than what she was sure he planned to.

It didn't seem to matter though, because a few seconds later, he was already parting her shirt to expose her completely to him and making his way down her stomach.

"What about here?" he asked her while he dropped moist kisses on the taut skin, making Bella shiver when he blew warm puffs of air on it afterwards.

"Yeah… but the worst is definitely…" having reached her limit point already, Bella caught one of Edward's hands and brought it between her slightly parted legs, his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head when he felt just how wet she was, even through the lace of the panties she was wearing for once instead of his usual boxers. "… right _here_!"

"Well, I guess I'll have to take a look there then!" he commented, his hands already making quick work of getting rid of her underwear. He couldn't do anything with clothes on his way, right?

"Oh, yeah, I see… open wide and say 'ah' for me!" he drawled out when they were gone, and almost right away spread her legs wider, her scent already driving him half out of his mind before he even had any chance to touch her.

"Hmm-aah!" Bella whimpered the second his fingers traced her nether lips, and then he probed her entrance with one of them, giving her a foretaste of what was to come.

"Yeah… I see exactly what the problem is and there is only one way to cure it." he affirmed with professionalism, working his finger in and out of her, his eyes drifting from the task at _hand_ to Bella's beautiful and expressive face.

God, how much he had missed seeing her this way.

"H-How?" Bella sputtered croakily, her stomach contracting in pleasure already as her hips moved of their own accord.

"Lot of rest… and some _oral_ prescription." was his guttural answer and Bella could only moan in anticipation. "Now I could administer it myself… unless you prefer another way… but personally I think…" he continued, only to be brutally interrupted by Bella who just couldn't take it anymore.

"Doc… shut up and get to work!" she commanded and one look at her was all Edward needed to see how serious she was, and who was he to upset his favorite patient, huh?

"Gladly!" he growled throatily, a millisecond before he obeyed her and sucked directly on her clit, causing Bella to nearly bow off the bed.

Fingers still stroking her warm moist depths, he worked the small nub between his lips, his tongue coming to help when he felt Bella getting closer.

Her moans grew louder after only a few minutes of that 'treatment' and he was suddenly even more glad for Janelle's absence, knowing that they wouldn't have had such liberty if she had been there. God, he loved to hear Bella cry his name like this, with abandon and passion, without caring about who could hear or not, and he had had too rarely the occasion to hear those breathy sounds lately to not enjoy them fully now.

He felt her tremble under his touch then and sucked even harder, ignoring the fact that she was all but leaving him bald, and relished in her grunts and gasps of pleasure when she eventually exploded. Then and only when she seemed to calm some down, did he slowly crawl up her body.

"Feeling better Mrs. Cullen?" he breathed out, kissing her tenderly and groaning himself when Bella sucked on his tongue the instant she felt it trace her lips softly.

"Not yet doctor…" she responded, letting one of her hands drift between them and squeezing gently when she found exactly what she was looking for, Edward hard and ready for more. "I think I need something stronger!"

"And I think I have exactly what you need!" he answered back just as meaningfully, his lips seeking hers once more, as at the same time he let himself sink into her softness, with the intention to give her the best healing he could.

* * *

Hours later Edward emerged from the bedroom, very satisfied and proud of himself, the shittiest grin he could muster on his lips.

One distracted hand scratched his naked chest while the other tousled his hair even more, and he yawned, realizing that this last round of intense lovemaking had tired him more than what he had thought.

They were only taking a break though, because he planned to go back to his lovely and passionate wife as soon as he would have found something to snack on and sustain them. They needed their strength, if they wanted to still enjoy each other some more before they had to go and fetch Janelle.

It didn't take him long to find what he needed, grape, cheese, bread and some orange juice, but he was only half way through the hallway when he heard someone calling at the front door and was stopped in his tracks.

He seriously considered not answering at all, and would have most likely just climbed the stairs to go back to Bella if the person hadn't obviously been so insistent and eager to be invited in.

Not giving any second thoughts to the fact that the only thing that covered him were the jeans that clung to his thighs and hung low on his hips, he threw the door open without even looking first and checking who it could be, and his jaw nearly hit the floor when he came face to face with the very last person he had been ready to see.

"R-Renée?" he blurted out her name, his pulse quickening when his mother-in-law picked up her own jaw and gave him a look that could have disintegrated him on the spot.

"_What_ are you doing here?" she spat out, not hiding her disdain or her anger at finding him there, though he could tell she was just as shocked with the situation as he could be himself.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Edward recovered quite quickly and retorted, cocking an eyebrow at her, which could as well have meant '_isn't it obvious_?' or just '_you have some nerve to ask, considering this is my house_.' "Nice to see you, too!" he then added with an ironic smile, when Renée ignored his question and just pushed past him and into the house.

"Yeah, whatever! Where's my daughter?" she grumbled before asking him where Bella was, the way she accentuated the last word almost sounding like she was telling him that she was her daughter first before being anything to him.

Before Edward had any time to come up with a valid lie that would buy him some time then, she started yelling Bella's name almost at the top of her lungs, and he could only hope that it wouldn't be enough for Bella to hear her and come see what was happening. Something told him that that wasn't something he wished to see happen.

Unfortunately, luck didn't seem to be on his side and it didn't take Bella more than a few seconds to appear at the top of the stairs, a simple sheet wrapped around her otherwise naked body.

He wasn't sure then if he should laugh at Renée's appalled expression, or simply run for cover as fast as he could, so he wouldn't be anywhere near her when she would sure explode. In fact, it was only seeing how clueless Bella still was that stopped him from doing so, conscious that he couldn't really leave her there to face Renée when he knew that he was just as responsible for this situation, if not more, as she was. If only he hadn't gone and opened the damned door.

He could also clearly see that Renée was just too astounded to react for now, that seeing him behind the door when she had knocked had probably been the last thing she had been expecting, but he suffered from no delusion that she wouldn't soon get herself together, and when that happened… he was a dead man.

"Edward, baby… come back, it's getting cold without you… _up here_!" Edward could tell the moment Bella noticed her mother's presence, certainly more because her face took on a horrified expression than because of the way she trailed off when she spotted her.

"Mom?" Bella squeaked out suddenly, clutching the sheet closer to her body, and Edward felt even sorrier for her when he saw the disbelieving look Renée threw her when she obviously understood what they had been doing before her impromptus arrival. "What are you… I… oh, my… wait there… I-I'll be d-down in a minute."

The instant those few words were out, Edward saw her scurry away, and it took all he had to not just run after her like he so wanted to.

"If you'd excuse me as well." he told Renée with a calmness he was absolutely not feeling, and then did his best to walk up the stairs as normally as he could, not waiting for Renée to give him permission however, her muttered curse drifting to his ears but not stopping him for all that.

He couldn't, not if he wanted to make it upstairs before any of them had a chance of saying something they would regret afterwards, but he wondered nonetheless why he was feeling like a seventeen years old horny teenager being caught doing something he shouldn't have again, when he had long gotten past that stage.

Like he had already predicted, he found Bella pacing the bedroom like a mad woman, obviously very near a nervous breakdown, and it only took him a few quick steps to join her.

"Oh, my god… I can't believe this… why is she here? _what_ is she doing here?… what the heck is she…" Bella babbled out the instant she noticed him, her voice bordering on hysterics now and only increasing Edward's own nervousness.

"Bella, calm down…" he soothed gently, knowing that as embarrassing as this was, it was already too late to do a thing about it, and even less work herself in such a frenzy.

Whatever she could be thinking, Renée was definitely not stupid and she had most likely already drawn up her own conclusion. The only thing they could do now was to try to do some damage control and work from there.

Edward knew well that it wouldn't be a small fit, considering that it was no secret anymore to him just how much Renée despised him now, but it didn't change anything for him at this point.

He wanted to be with Bella, he needed to be with her, and it would certainly not be his mother-in-law who would prevent him from doing just that and be happy again.

"Calm down? _Calm_… Are you fucking kidding me?… my mom is downstairs, Edward!" Bella all but shrieked, confusing Edward with the force of her outburst.

So clearly it could be quite upsetting to have her parents finding out about them in such a way, but that didn't mean that it was the end of the world, did it?"

Deciding to not dwell too much on her reaction for now, Edward reached out to her and drew her to him before she had any chance to react, or pull away from him once more.

"Hey, come here…" he whispered softly, cradling her face between his hands before forcing her to meet his eyes. "Breathe… and calm down, okay?" he insisted, sure that she would just suffocate and keel over if she didn't start to take deep breaths.

"There…" he breathed out when he saw her do as he had instructed, and when he was sure her breathing had become more regular, he pulled her into a tender kiss.

Gently, he nibbled at her lips until Bella lay boneless in his arms, only to stop when she started to get into it and moaned at the sensual contact.

"That's not fair, Edward!" Bella scolded, but this time there was none of the animosity her previous words had held.

"Maybe, but it worked, didn't it?" Edward answered with a teasing smile, the sure sign that he had known exactly what he had been doing.

"Edwaaard… my mother is downstairs!" Bella reiterated quite miserably, burying her head into his hard chest, like she was trying to hide from all this and what she knew was yet to come.

"Bella, it's okay… we were going to tell your parents anyway… right?… I mean…" Edward trailed off, when he realized that they had not really discussed how they would break the news to the Swans.

Given that he was persona non grata in their eyes now, he had just assumed that Bella would tell them over the phone, when they would have been miles away and not close enough to come and hunt him down, but what if Bella had just thought she would just delay it until she wouldn't have had any other choice but to tell them.

Or worse, what if she had never had any intention to tell them at all? Suddenly the craziest scenarios popped into his mind and he wasn't so sure that he was ready to go through this.

"Oh, Edward…" Bella moaned out when she realized that her reaction had only increased Edward's fears.

She knew well what could be going through his mind, because she had had the same fears regarding his parents' reaction. Only the Cullens had been all too thrilled to hear about their reconciliation to not greet her back into their family gladly –not that she had ever really left it- while she was almost sure that her parents would be another story altogether. She doubted they would take their reconciliation with as much philosophy and enthusiasm, no matter the fact that this had been what she and Janelle had wanted all along.

Yet, despite the fact that she knew that Edward had all the reasons to dread how her parents would take the news, she didn't want him to think that it changed anything for her, or that she regretted, even just for a second, having him back.

Her lips sought his almost desperately then, eager to show him just how much she loved and needed him, and she didn't let go of him until she had made sure she had driven her point home.

"You're right… I… I'm sorry… it doesn't matter… I just…" she whispered when they came up for air, her arms still tightly wrapped around his neck, needing him close now more than ever.

"… wished you didn't have to do this now… I know…" Edward finished for her, his forehead against hers, while his fingers kept caressing her face, giving her all the support he could.

"Yeah… but… it's okay…" Bella conceded easily, knowing that it would be no use trying to deny that she would have preferred waiting some more to face the wrath of her mother.

She should have anticipated this however. Given how she had broken down on the phone not two days ago, it was surprising her mother hadn't gotten here sooner actually, but she guessed that she had just not been able to get a flight sooner. Knowing her, she had probably planned this as soon as she had hung up, and she guessed she was lucky it had happened that way, because she didn't know what would have happened between Edward and her if they hadn't had that night alone two days ago. It had changed everything between them, but she could bet that if her mother had been there, they wouldn't have gotten that far.

"It will be… and I'll be with you all the while!" Edward said confidently, even though if he were honest, he would rather face an entire battalion of ruthless lawyers, than to have to say two words to his mother-in-law at that second.

"Actually, it would probably be better if I did this alone…" Bella mused, despite the fact that it wasn't really something she was looking forward to.

Yet, she knew her mother and she would probably not hear a word of what she had to say if Edward was in the same room when they had that conversation.

"Are you sure, Bella?" Edward asked uncertainly, already picturing how it would go and wanting to be there to support her if need be.

It didn't matter that he wasn't Renée's favorite person in the world right now -that was a serious understatement actually- but he would do whatever he had to, to be there for Bella.

"Yeah… and maybe it would even be better if you weren't in the house… you know…" she continued with a frown, sure that there would be many raised voices and not wanting him anywhere near, if it got too ugly.

Edward seemed to hesitate again at that, not so sure himself about the idea, and Bella had to insist some more for him to finally relent.

"Okay… I'll just go out for a few hours then!" he agreed at last, thinking that he would just use the opportunity to do what he had planned to do later anyway.

He had yet to go and see Emmett and talk to him about Kate and the fact that he would soon need another secretary and see how they would take care of that.

Besides, even if he hadn't said more to Bella about it so to not give her any false hope, he also wanted to bring up to Emmett the fact that he would like to be exempted from traveling around for the firm from then on, and since he didn't really know how his friend would take it, he would rather have that conversation somewhere more private than the office.

He didn't know yet how they would work that out, but he and Emmett would just have to think about it and find a way while he was away, because he knew there was no way he could be anywhere but with Bella and Janelle from then on.

Which reminded him that he would have to inform Emmett that, though everything was alright with them, he wouldn't be coming for a week nonetheless. Well, if they managed to still go of course, since he didn't know yet how long Renée planned to stay and her presence might put a serious damper to their plans.

"Where will you go?" Bella questioned him, even if she had been the one suggesting it, she didn't want him to have to wander aimlessly around while she talked to her mother.

"Don't worry about me… I'll just go and see Emmett now… and I'll also have to go and pick my things from Jasper's anyway." he revealed, thinking that he would stop by Rosalie's and bring some things from there as well, a few in particular he just couldn't wait to finally give Bella.

Satisfied with his answer, Bella moved and grabbed for her sweatpants to add to her outfit that still consisted only of a shirt thrown quickly over her shoulders when she had come up, and urged him to do the same, knowing her mother and her patience, and that she wouldn't wait much longer for them to get back.

It was already a miracle she hadn't barged in there and demanded to have an explanation right away.

Five minutes later so, Edward and Bella made their way downstairs, hand in hand and offering a united front, and though they could both see Renée pacing the living room and glowering at them when she spotted them, for a few more seconds they chose to not pay her much heed.

Bella walked Edward to the front door, and although she was sure that her mother had to have followed and could perfectly see them, she stood on tiptoes and kissed Edward tenderly, drawing much needed strength from the short contact.

"Call me if she's too much… and I'll come back immediately!" he felt the need to whisper as they pulled apart, checking in his pocket to see if he had taken his cell phone.

He then kissed her forehead softly when she nodded wordlessly, the loving gesture not going unnoticed by Bella's mom, and left throwing a '_Later, __Renée__!_' over his shoulder, even when he knew it would most likely not be answered.

Bella didn't even need to turn around then to know the second her mother had stepped directly behind her, the chill that ran up her spine being warning enough of her looming presence, and she almost called Edward back, calling herself ten times an idiot for not having taken him up on his offer after all.

Well, it was too late for that, wasn't it? she thought as she turned around and tried to make her way to the living room.

"Care to tell me what I just walked in on?" Renée Swan attacked as soon as her daughter had closed the door, the angry glare she sent her leaving little doubt about how furious she could be.

She was seething in fact, having a hard time conceiving that while she had been concerned and all but flipping about her daughter and what she could be going through, when she had run and left her husband and everything behind to catch a flight to Los Angeles to be by her side during such a rough time, Bella had been playing the lovely, but stupid wife with her cheating husband again. Well, if she didn't see what was wrong with that picture, Renée would make sure to open her eyes once and for all.

"Nothing!" Bella huffed, trying to delay the inevitable, even when she knew there was no use. Not that she had any illusion that this would stop her mother from telling her exactly what she had in mind, but one could always hope.

"Something obviously!" her mother countered right away, arms crossed over her chest and looking at her like she would do every time Bella was in serious trouble when she was little.

Only Bella wasn't a little girl anymore, and as intimidating as Renée could still clearly be, she refused to back off now and show any weakness. Not at the cost of her happiness.

"Mom! I don't have to justify myself in front of you… and I don't have to explain what I do with _my_ husband, in _my_ house!" Bella reminded her, meeting her stare squarely, and hoping that it would be enough to set things straight.

She should have known better though, considering that this was her mother after all and she had never been one to make things easy for her.

"Oh, I see… was the make-up sex _that_ good, huh?… so good in fact that it made you lose your mind again?" she all but spat out disdainfully, and Bella, despite her efforts, couldn't help the blush that crept and colored her cheeks, causing her mother to snort with disgust. "Obviously… but it is _not_ worth it, Bella… no sex is worth what he's going to put you through again… don't you see… all he wants is to have his cake and eat it… the lovely wife at home and the mistress on the side… is this what you want for yourself? What you want for your daughter?" she threw angrily, not believing that Bella could be so clueless and not see what was happening.

No matter how sincere Edward could have looked again all of a sudden, it just seemed too convenient to her to see him come back and seduce Bella again just on the same day, or only mere hours, after Bella had asked him for a divorce.

Of course he had probably finally realized all he could lose if Bella went through with it, understood what it would mean for him between having to lose his house and pay alimony and everything that went with an official separation, and he had certainly not wanted that.

She wasn't surprised in fact, she just didn't know who she should want to strangle first, Edward for being so vile and manipulative, or Bella for being stupid enough to not see that she was being used and fooled once more.

"_Don't_… bring my daughter into this!" Bella growled through gritted teeth, the rage in her voice barely controlled at all now.

The last thing she needed was to see her mother using Janelle in this and as much as she wanted to stay calm and not let her mother get to her, if she started hitting so low, Bella wasn't sure how this was going to end but it wouldn't be good in any way, that was an evidence.

"She's also my granddaughter, and I won't let you jeopardize her future and her happiness because you're too weak to stick to your decisions! I will knock some sense into that thick head of yours before that!" Renée all but shouted back, leaving Bella gaping at her for all but two seconds, before her blood started boiling again.

The nerve of her mother would never cease to amaze her. And not necessarily in a good way.

"How dare you, mom? She may be your granddaughter but _I_ am her mother… _me_, and no one else and you're seriously deluding yourself if you think that I'm gonna let you decide what's best for her or not!… no one but me and _her father_ will, do you hear me?… As for her happiness, _my_ daughter hasn't been happier than since she understood that her father would be here with us again and forever… now Edward and I _are_ together… so deal with it… it's easy in fact, either you accept it, or you get _the hell_ out of this house!" Bella exploded, having finally reached the end of her patience with her mother and her constant grievances concerning Edward.

Of course she knew that she had only herself to blame for that, after all if she had been stronger, she wouldn't find herself in such a situation. She realized now that she probably shouldn't have said a word about Edward and what was happening to her mother, but at the time, she hadn't known who to turn to and her mother had seemed like the most logical choice with her best friend so far away.

She had caught her on the phone one day when she had been particularly depressed and Bella had finally broken down and poured out what she had then believed to be the truth, that Edward was cheating on her, not realizing then what would be the consequences of her action months afterwards.

Now that she knew how wrong she had been, she regretted even more having talked to her mother at all, but there wasn't a thing she could do to take it back now. No, the only thing she could do was try to make her understand that this was her life and that, as much as she had appreciated her constant support and the fact that she had truly always been there for her when she had needed her the most, she refused to let her dictate her existence, or ruin her chances with Edward.

As grateful as she was, her mother would have to accept the fact that Edward was part of her life again, and this time she had no intention to let anyone come between them. Not another woman, and certainly not her family, as much as she loved them. And from the look on her mother's face, she had just understood now just how serious Bella could be about it.

"Bella!" Renée gasped, her eyes wide, obviously shocked to hear her daughter talking to her like that.

They had had their moments and their fights, like in any normal mother-daughter's relationship, but it had never gotten as far as Bella basically telling her that she wasn't welcomed into her house if she didn't agree with her.

"No, I mean it, mom…" Bella pursued before Renée could even give her a piece of her mind and remind her who she was talking to. "You don't know the first thing about what happened with Edward, you don't know what _he_ has been through… yet you're here and you've just tried him and sentenced him already and all at once… and I can understand, considering the facts you had… I truly do… but couldn't you just trust me for once?… trust the fact that I know what I'm doing?" she then intoned, the trembling of her agitated arms showing just how affected she truly was.

She knew that her mother had no reason to trust Edward again, or even to want to see them together, given that she had still no idea about what had really happened, but she thought that she knew her better than that and was aware of the fact that as much as Bella could love Edward, she wouldn't have fallen back into his arms and be ready to start again with him if she hadn't been sure that it would work this time, if he hadn't given her all the reasons to believe in him again. In _them_.

"Your judgment isn't always the wisest, Isabella, do I need to remind you of that?" Renée scolded her condescendingly, and if that weren't already enough, the use of her full name only served to infuriate Bella even more.

"No, you need not, _mother_… I'm perfectly aware of that… I've gotten the proof not a day ago, thank you!" Bella retorted, feeling a monstrous headache coming.

Like she needed her mother to keep treating her like a child.

"What is that supposed to mean?" her mother asked, making Bella realize that she had probably said too much, considering that she had not wanted to give her mother all the details about what had transpired between her and Edward since he had barged into the house, after having thought that something had happened to her and Janelle.

"Nothing!" she huffed and turned around, not wanting to say more.

There was no reason for that anyway, was it? Either her mother accepted the new changes in her life or she didn't, the rest was between her and Edward. It was private, even if obviously her mother wasn't seeing it that way.

"Bella? You want me to understand you, then talk to me!" Renée insisted, apparently realizing that there was more to the situation than what she was getting. If only Bella wouldn't be so damn stubborn some times.

"No, mom!" Bella all but cried out, albeit she knew well that her mother wouldn't make it easy for her and leave it at that.

"Bella!" Renée uttered sternly, blocking Bella's path when she tried to pass by her.

"Fine… you want me to tell you the truth?" Bella hissed out furiously as she yanked her arm from Renée's grasp, her ire finally getting the best of her. " Edward never had an affair, okay… _never_… and the only reason I found myself in this situation is because I was fool enough to believe some lies instead of trusting my husband and trying to look at the facts objectively… o-or just talking to him… it was my fault, mom… _mine_, do you hear me?… so if you want to blame someone, blame me… blame me for the seven months I've been through… blame me for depriving my own daughter of her father's constant presence all that time… blame me for everything you want, but leave Edward alone and out of this!" once she was finished Bella had a hard time keeping breathing normally, but she couldn't have stopped the flow of words even if she had wanted to.

Those thoughts had been on her mind ever since she had understood what had really happened and she had only now found the strength to voice all of them out loud. As much as she knew Edward wouldn't approve of her thinking that way, she knew that she was the only one truly responsible for their momentary separation.

Edward after all would have stayed with her, even thinking she had an affair, he loved her that much. He would have shared her with another man if he had had to and that as much as that thought killed him, as long as she wouldn't have left him, and what had she done? She had made him leave the second she had had a doubt, without giving him any opportunity to explain himself, without even really talking to him. How could she blame him then, or not admit that this was mainly her fault?

"I d-don't understand!" Renée stammered dumbfounded, honestly as disturbed by Bella's vehemence, as by her need to defend Edward so much once more.

And was that even the truth anyway? Could she believe her now, or was she just trying to protect him again? Could she have been so wrong about him after all?

"You're not supposed to… and I don't even want to talk about it… I just want you to leave Edward… alone… that's all I'm asking of you… he did nothing wrong, and you will just have to take my word on that!" Bella told her, some of her anger deflating nonetheless, now that she had finally gotten that out of her chest. She definitely felt better now, at least a little bit, even if she wasn't stupid enough to not realize that it wouldn't be enough an explanation for her dear mom. "Are you ready to accept that?"

"Bella … I don't know if… "

"If you're not, just leave my house!" Bella cut her off before she could say more, leaving no room for discussion here, even if obviously that was the last thing her mother had expected her to do.

"I won't leave without seeing my granddaughter, Bella… I haven't made all this trip to just leave like this!" Renée threw back quite indignantly, her arms crossing stubbornly in front of her once more.

She knew that Bella was pissed, but that didn't mean she was anywhere ready to leave. Granted when she had booked her flight, she hadn't been far from losing it herself and the only thought she had had in mind had been to come and comfort Bella, sure that she would find her near a nervous breakdown and hysterical, but the fact that everything had apparently been solved before she could even help didn't mean that she would just turn around now that she was here. If Bella didn't need her, she at least wanted to use the occasion to spend some time with Janelle.

"She's not here right now, but you're more than welcome to stay and wait for her… but I won't hear another word coming from you and concerning my husband, or you're in the next flight to Seattle!" Bella warned decisively, not backing off when Renée looked at her like she had finally lost her mind.

For a long moment they kept staring at each other, obviously trying to see who would crack up first and when eventually Renée understood that she didn't have the upper hand here and that she would have to do with Bella's will if she really hoped to stay, she felt her shoulders sag and she gave up at last.

"Fine!" she grunted, clearly not pleased with the turn of events, but having no choice left.

"Good!"

"Great!"

"Yeah, great…" Bella repeated, before eventually lowering her eyes and huffing a little more quietly, obviously ashamed nonetheless with her behavior, even if it would have been hard to tell a few minutes earlier with how sure of herself she had seemed to be. "… and I'm sorry for yelling at you!"

The soft statement apparently caught Renée by surprise, because it took her a moment to react herself.

"I'm sorry, too, sweetie!" she whispered after a brief hesitation and then, unable to stop herself, took her daughter in her arms.

Bella might not need as much comfort as she had thought she would have to provide, but she was still her little girl and Renée had truly been scared for her until she had finally seen her. After all the last time she had talked to her, Bella had been crying her eyes out and in so much pain, it had very nearly broken her own heart and that wasn't something any mother wanted to have to witness.

"I love him, mom, and he's going to make me happy again… I know he's going to!… and he needs me just as much as I need him!" Bella murmured as she hugged her back, knowing that despite all her flaws, her mother meant well.

Bella knew that she wasn't trying to be mean to Edward on purpose and that she was only trying to protect her. And if Bella were honest, she didn't really know how she would react herself if she saw anyone trying to hurt her baby girl, she would probably hate them and want them to suffer as well in fact, but her mother just needed to understand that she didn't need to shield her from Edward. After what had happened the last few days, Bella knew that he would rather die first, before letting anything happen to her, or causing her any pain again.

"Okay honey, I-I trust you!" Renée said still a little hesitantly, but she couldn't deny any longer that Bella indeed looked better than she had seen her in a very long time.

No more than she could deny that her daughter had never stopped loving Edward Cullen and that the only thing she had been wishing for the last past months, was for the chance to work things out with him, so she guessed that she should be happy for her now that her prayers had apparently been heard.

"Thank you!" Bella replied softly, unable to express just how much those simple words could mean to her. "And you will learn to love him again, too!… I know you will… you'll see." she added when they finally parted, seeing her mother approving of Edward again being more important to her than what she had been ready to admit till then.

She knew her mother wasn't a bad person and that until the day she had realized that Edward was neglecting her because of his job, and later when she had thought that he was cheating on her, she had always appreciated Edward, so Bella could only hope that her mother would realize that nothing had changed, and that despite what they had believed, he was still the same man. A man who, even when he had forgotten how to show her, had always loved her, and more than any other man could ever pretend to.

"I don't need to, Bella… as long as you love him and you're sure he loves you, too… that's all I'm asking… I-I'm going to be okay with that!" Renée sighed, before telling her what she was sure Bella needed to hear.

Trusting Edward Cullen again wouldn't be an easy task, but if Bella thought he was worth the risk, if she was willing to put her heart in the balance again, what was she supposed to do? With how determined Bella seemed to be about it, she knew she wouldn't win whatever she could say, and she wasn't willing to lose her only daughter just because she couldn't accept the man she loved.

"He does, mom… so much… and he certainly had more reasons to stop loving me than I had… because just so you know… he suffered just as much as I did! I hurt him, too, even if I didn't mean to!" Bella replied as convincingly as she could, hoping her mother could understand just how much Edward indeed loved her, and how hard this had been for him as well, no matter what she could have thought.

When she thought of those images of her and Jacob in each other's arms, about that supposed loving kiss he had had in mind for so long, she couldn't help but cringe again. She knew that they had talked about it and that even if he still didn't know all the facts, Edward understood that there had never been anything between them, but she wasn't naïve enough to believe that those images would disappear just like that. It would probably take him some time to forget about them, and that was her fault, too.

"You will talk to me about this one day?" Renée demanded, even if from the tone of her voice, Bella could see that as much as she wanted to know, her mother wouldn't push her to say more if she didn't want to, at least for now, as surprising as that could be.

"I will… but give me some time, okay?" Bella assured her, conscious that she would have to someday soon, but definitely not now.

Right now she was feeling rather weary, and she just wanted a few minutes to pull herself together.

"Sure, sweetie!" Renée relented easily, seeing that this would be the end of the discussion, at least for the time being.

"Okay, why don't you go and get settled in the guestroom… and I'll just go and make some coffee meanwhile?" Bella then offered, already moving in the direction of the kitchen, before her mother could object or really answer.

As soon as she passed the door, she couldn't help but expel a tired sigh, rubbing her temples slightly, before leaning against the kitchen countertop and taking deep breaths to calm herself.

The next instant though, she gasped loudly when she felt strong arms circling around her waist and pulling her into a hard body, but despite the small shock, she didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"I'm sorry, baby!" Edward murmured against her ear, holding her as tightly as he could and giving her just exactly what she had needed at that moment. The comfort of his presence.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" Bella leant into him, but couldn't help questioning nonetheless, considering he was supposed to have left a while ago and she had not realized he had evidently come back some time during her talk with her mom.

"I forgot Rosalie's keys so I came back through the kitchen back door… I just… I couldn't help but overhear you and I'm sorry you had to go through that because of me." Edward turned her around and explained, not wanting her to think that he had deliberately spied on them.

He had really meant to leave and let Bella take care of everything with her mother and when he had realized he hadn't taken Rosalie's keys, he had tried to come back as discreetly as possible as he could, but he had certainly not expected to see Bella and Renée engaged in a yelling contest, or hear some of the things Bella had had to say.

He had known that she felt responsible for most of what had happened already, but he hadn't thought that it was to this point and it had truly taken all of his willpower to not barge in there and just tell Renée to leave her alone and get the hell out of there himself. Of course he wished that things were different, but he wouldn't let his mother-in-law make Bella feel bad for something she hadn't had any real control over. If Renée didn't want to see him and she spent the rest of her life hating him, so be it, he was ready to live with that, as long as Bella didn't have to suffer from it.

What was sure though, was that Bella certainly didn't deserve some of the things her mother had thrown at her, and if it weren't because he knew it would only make matters worse, he would have surely gone and given Renée a piece of his mind.

"It's not your fault, Edward… if anything it's mine!" Bella said, burrowing into his warmth, definitely glad that he hadn't left, for whatever reason that had been.

Once more, she couldn't help realizing how stupid she had been in all this though. At least Edward had been smarter with his parents and hadn't told them much about the situation, beside the fact that they were having problems and would take a step back for a while, ensuring that way that they wouldn't react any differently to her, or put the blame on one of them more than on the other. She just wished she had had the same presence of mind, her mom would have certainly been easier to deal with that way.

"That's so not true, baby, and you know it…" Edward contradicted tenderly, hands stroking her hair and the small of her back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.

"Do I?… If I hadn't told her…" Bella started, ready to voice her previous thoughts out loud, but a gentle finger on her lips stopped her from going further.

"Hey… you told her because you needed someone to talk to… and I'm glad she was there for you when I couldn't!" Edward cupped her face so she would be forced to look at him and whispered honestly, knowing that at least Bella hadn't been alone in this and that he had Renée to thank for that.

As much as he hated the situation and how hostile Renée could be to him now, and probably would be for a while, he wouldn't have wished Bella to do things any differently because he knew that it would have certainly eaten her inside, if she hadn't been able to confide in someone she knew she could trust and who would hear her out.

He would have preferred that person to be Alice, or any other of her friends, but he wouldn't complain about it, knowing how much of a help Renée had been all those months, while he had been too blind to see a thing and pick on Bella's own distress.

"Still, I hate that she thinks that you're the bad guy here!" Bella admitted, sure that no matter how many times she would tell her mother that Edward had never been unfaithful, no matter if she even related what had really happened in excruciating long details, she would still see him that way for a while, before being able to forget.

"Bella, as much as I appreciate you defending me, you don't have to… I don't care what your mother or anyone else thinks of me… as long as _you_ believe in me!" he let her know, wanting her to remember that she was the only one whose opinion truly counted for him. Everything and everyone else was secondary.

"I do, Edward… you know I do!" Bella vowed instantly, looking at him with her heart in her eyes, hoping that he would see just how much she meant the words. She had doubted him once, she wouldn't make the same mistake ever again.

"Then that's all that matters to me… " Edward responded, thumbs caressing her cheekbones, before he placed a gentle kiss on her soft lips and added almost jokingly, "… and in the meantime, I'll just do my best to not stay on your mother's way!"

"You shouldn't have to!" Bella moaned out dejectedly, cursing herself once more for having led them to this.

"Bella, stop blaming yourself for everything… none of what you told her is even true… the only one to blame here is Kate Denali… and for that, _she_'ll pay when the time is right!" Edward gritted despite himself, as he remembered exactly what Bella had said, when he knew that only the blonde psycho bitch that used to be his secretary was responsible for this.

Nevertheless, he understood where Bella was coming from, since he had taken the same guilty trip before realizing that it would do them no good to continue that way. He would have to live with it and what he had done himself for the rest of his life, but from then on, he would put all his energy in trying to find a way to make Kate regret having ever messed with him and Bella for the rest of _her_ life.

Yet obviously that was the last thing he should have mentioned in front of Bella for now, he realized, as he heard her groan almost as soon as her nemesis' name passed his lips.

"Edward… are you sure she left?" she couldn't help asking him after a short while, hating that she was still feeling so insecure when it came to Kate.

Not that she feared anything concerning the fantasy-like relationship the other woman had conjured up in her deranged mind, but the less time Edward would spend anywhere near her, the better Bella would feel.

"Yeah… she's probably already enjoying her last _paid_ vacation!" Edward guaranteed her with a clear hint of satisfaction in his voice, thinking that once he would be done with her, Kate Denali would be lucky if she could just pay herself a night in the cheapest hotel in town.

"Okay… so you won't see her?" Bella insisted nonetheless, even if she knew she was just being ridiculous at this point.

"No, Bella, no… and even if I did, you know I'm not the one who should be scared… she should be!" he swore, glad once more that he wouldn't have to face Kate for a while, or he would have probably tried to kill her already.

"I hate her!" Bella blurted out before she could think twice, and though that was certainly no big news there for Edward, he didn't think he had heard her say so, so sincerely and directly so far.

"I know!" he acknowledged and as much as he wanted to tell her in colorful words just how much he could hate Kate himself, he knew it would get them nowhere. Instead so, he decided to change the subject and concentrate on something else. "Hmm… anyway… I don't think I thanked you properly yet for what you did out there."

"No, I don't believe you did!" Bella confirmed invitingly, seeing exactly what he was doing and loving him even more for that.

"My bad… come here!" he drawled out huskily, just before pulling her flush against his body and covering her lips with his almost right away.

As his mouth slanted over hers, his hands did some exploration of their own and Bella couldn't suppress a throaty moan when she felt them caressing the bare expanse of her back.

"No bra?" forehead against hers now, Edward groaned when they parted for air, his fingers keeping on their sweet torture of her warm skin.

"Uh-huh… didn't have time for that." Bella panted as he pressed his lower body into hers and she noticed how the thought of her without underwear under her clothes turned him on.

"Too bad I don't have time to take advantage of that!" Edward growled, his hands moving to her front now and playing briefly with her soft breasts.

"Later?" Bella asked hopefully, lamenting just as much as he could her mother's bad timing, though she had to wonder where they still found the energy with all they had already done. Probably from all the months of abstinence.

"Definitely later!" Edward assured her, promising himself that he would find a way, no matter how, and kissed her once more in anticipation.

"So… you're okay? I can leave you here alone with your mother?" he asked her minutes afterwards, when the shutting of a door reminded him that they weren't alone and that he most likely shouldn't let himself get so carried away.

"Yes, go, we'll be okay!" Bella answered, wondering nonetheless how she would occupy her time with her mother in the meantime.

"Good… I'll stop by my parents on my way back and take Janelle home!" he informed her then, though he had no idea when exactly that would be, given all he had to do.

"Yeah, I'm sure my mother will appreciate." Bella thought, knowing how eager her mother could be to see her, considering that it had been months already since she had had the opportunity.

"I'm sure she will, yeah… at least she loves _my_ daughter… I guess I did something right after all!" Edward joked, conscious that Janelle was probably the only thing he had for him in the eyes of the Swans now.

"Edward!" Bella growled, hating that he could just think that way, no matter if he were serious or not.

"I'm kidding!" he kissed her softly in response, but when he was ready to deepen the kiss, they both heard Renée calling for Bella and they were quick to part.

"Go now!" Bella whispered, pushing him in the direction of the door before her mother had a chance to see him.

Why did she suddenly feel like the teenage girl she had once been and who used to help her boyfriend sneak in and out of the house so they wouldn't be caught by her parents. It was so ridiculous.

"Okay, sweetheart… I'm gone… Love you!" Edward stole one last kiss and after having playfully pinched her ass, walked through the door.

"Love you, too!" Bella murmured back, and after having closed the door behind him, shouted back to her mother. "Coming, mom!"

So that was it.

Taking a deep breath, she exited the kitchen and prayed for the strength she would need to face the music, realizing only once she was out that she had completely forgotten about the coffee she was supposed to have made.

God, here went nothing.

**TBC...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN**: Hey, guys… sorry for making you wait for more than a week now, but I've been on sick leave after bruising a rib (and let me tell it hurts like a b****) and slipping two discs and since it happened at my mom's, who leaves like 150miles away from where I live myself and she doesn't have internet, I couldn't post sooner. I just got back today, since I couldn't drive myself back until now and I thought I had made you wait long enough, so here I am.

**Bunch2009**: Hmm, unfortunately, no… Kate isn't completely gone, you'll see more of her very soon, and more of her crazy attitude, too, of course! Thank you for reviewing!

**Nine8433**: hey, don't worry, Bella's secret won't come between her and Edward, on the contrary! I'm not saying that it will be smooth sailing from now on, but nothing is going to separate them now that they are together again. Thanks for the review!

**TigerEyez07**: hey! Thank you as well for the review… and the confrontation with Kate is coming very soon! ;)

**Iluvtwilight2**: don't worry, Bella will tell him and it's not going to blow in her face! Trust me ;) as for what happened when Kate tried to seduce Edward, he will tell Bella, but it won't create any conflict between them! Thanks once more for your review.

**Spannieren**: thank you so much for the review and for the good laugh… your name sounded familiar to me (I remembered later that you had left a review on another one of my stories) so I clicked on your profile and I nearly peed myself with your '25 reasons I owe my mother'… thank god I read them before hurting myself. Lol

**Flora73**: thanks once more for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter as well! ;)

**Molldoll77**: yep, definitely! Nothing's gonna come between them now… and I think it was time, right? Personally I think I already made them suffer enough!

**Vampiregurl**: I totally agree, no matter how good her intentions can be, Bella and Edward are no children anymore and what happens between them should really only concern them… but I guess parents just can't help themselves. Thanks as well for the review.

**Jctypes**: yeah, Bella AND Edward do have a problem with communication, but hopefully that will be the last time! The confrontation with Kate isn't in this chapter actually, it's in MY chapter 16 (so 17 for the board) so there's just a little bit more to wait. I hope you'll like this chapter nonetheless, it's just some Bella and Edward good loving lol

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: yep, you'll see some Alice and Jasper in a next chapter (and they actually already met, but I'm not saying any more for now ;) ) as for Kate's reaction, it's coming, don't worry!

Okay, like I said, this chapter doesn't really answer any question you still might have, but after what they went through, I think Bella and Edward deserve to just be in love and happy, right? Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

It was way past lunch time when Edward got back and he had probably never been so glad to be home again. The only thing he wanted then was to sit down, forget about the rest of the world, and not do a thing for the rest of the day unless he was forced to.

His talk with Emmett had taken way longer even than what he had predicted, but he didn't regret it though since it looked like they would find a way to work everything out, or at least Emmett had been willing to try.

It hadn't been easy to relate to him everything that had happened in the last months and then more recently, considering how personal some things had been, but Edward had known he had no choice, if he wanted Emmett to have all the facts and understand him, and then want to go with what he was asking.

To say his friend had been shocked to learn what Kate had done and just how evil she could truly be would have been an understatement -poor Emmett had thought he was hallucinating at that moment- but Edward had gotten a huge surprise of his own when his partner had admitted that he had always more or less known that Kate felt more than kindred friendship where he was concerned. Apparently he was the only one who was too blind to see what was just right under his nose.

When Edward had asked him why he had never said a thing then, if he had figured out what he couldn't, Emmett had just replied that it wasn't his place, and that beside, he had truly thought Edward knew but just didn't want to make a big deal out of it, which was completely understandable.

Not that it really mattered anyway, since Edward knew that he could curse himself to no end and talk about it till he was blue in the face and it wouldn't change a damned thing, it was too late for that. The only thing he could do now was to deal with Kate, get her out of his life and then forget that she had ever even existed.

Emmett had made him realize though that it would probably not be as easy as he wanted it to be and that she would most likely sue them for abusive lay-off, if they had no more motives than the fact that she was a crazy psycho to fire her, but Edward had been adamant that it needed to be done and that there was no way he would keep working with her.

Once faced with the possibility of losing Edward if they didn't get rid of Kate, Emmett had of course chosen the former, and it was decided that he would already start searching for a new secretary for Edward while he would be gone.

Convincing Emmett that he and Bella needed that had really not been difficult, once he had known the truth, and Edward had once more had the opportunity to see what a good friend Emmett truly was when his partner had even suggested that he took more days if he wanted, and he would take care of everything meanwhile. Edward had just said that he would think about it however, since he didn't know if Bella would have such liberty and facility herself.

Concerning his desire to not travel anymore if he could avoid it, Emmett had said that there wasn't much he could promise right now, since he didn't know how they would manage that, but he had accepted to think about it and be okay with it, if Edward found a solution that would be satisfying for the firm and not prejudicial in any way to their business.

What Edward had not dared say, was that he was so serious about it, that he was truly considering quitting, as much as he hated the thought, if there was no other way, because he didn't think he could continue like that, and even less impose on Bella again what he had for years now. Regardless of what had happened with Kate, Edward had nearly lost Bella already because of his work and he didn't plan to let it come between them again.

The only thing he could come up with himself right now however, was to keep taking care of the cases that would force him out of town but not long enough that he wouldn't be back home and in Bella's arms at night, and maybe hire someone else who could help them with the rest. If the firm could afford it of course, which as far as he knew, shouldn't be a problem.

His stop at Jasper's had been more relaxing, even if he had had to explain a few things to him as well, but Jasper had been too glad when he had told him that he and Bella were okay again, to care about anything else, or about the details as to how. Now that he thought about it, Edward didn't remember having seen him so excited about anything actually, or saying so much in so many words.

He hadn't been surprised when his friend had invited them all over to dinner, knowing how much Jasper had always cared for Bella and loved seeing Janelle, and moreover considering that he had rarely had the opportunity to see both lately. Yet as much as Edward had appreciated the offer and wanted to take him up on it, he had known that that would have to wait after their return.

He didn't know yet how they would do this with Renée here, but Edward was ready to leave a little later if he had to, if that meant leaving at all. The only thing he really didn't want was to have to cancel their trip completely, if there was another way. He would just have to discuss that with Bella.

Hands charged with packets now, he discreetly made his way into the house, not wanting Renée or Bella to see what those were about, and he frowned slightly when all he was met with was silence.

Depositing the bags against the wall in the hallway, he took a few steps into the living room and stopped almost right away, admiring the way his wife, seated on a pouf and clad once more in shirt and boxers, concentrated on the notes and books spread in front of her on the coffee table.

"Hey." Bella whispered when the slight movement he made caught her attention and she noticed him standing there.

"Hey!" he greeted back, steeping closer and bending down slightly to drop a kiss on her head when he was near enough. "What you doing?"

"Trying to wrap this up for Harry." she answered, an arm coming around his waist and placing a reciprocating kiss on his hip. "Where's Janelle?" she then questioned, as she didn't see their daughter.

"Well, when my parents heard your mother was here, _my_ mom insisted on having us all for dinner… and I couldn't really say no, you know her… and well, since Janelle didn't want to leave Lena just yet, I left her there." Edward explained and squatted down to her level now. "Your mother?"

"Mrs. Petersen saw her outside apparently and asked her to come over." Bella told him, her cheek nuzzling the side of his head when he dropped it over her shoulder. "She should be coming back any minute now though, so don't get any idea!" she warned almost immediately afterwards when she felt his lips on the side of her throat and the hand that slid down her back.

"I wasn't getting any." he lied, trying to look innocent but thinking that there was something else he wouldn't be getting right now apparently, and then asked again, "How did it go?"

"As expected." she turned more to him and whispered against his lips.

It hadn't gone bad per say, but things had definitely been better between her mother and her. They hadn't really talked more about Edward or the situation, but the ambiance had been rather cold despite their attempts at conversation, and Bella had almost been relieved when her mother had gone back to her rental car and had been spotted by their neighbor on her way back.

The old woman had always liked her mom and couldn't help showing her all the new pictures she got of her own grandchildren every time her parents visited. Today had not been any different, but at least it had permitted Bella to get a good start on her lessons for her different classes.

"You okay?" Edward couldn't help asking, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear, eyes strained on her face and looking for any sign that she wasn't.

"We will be." Bella murmured, appreciating his concern but knowing there wasn't anything more they could do for now.

"Okay… I'm gonna go change… I'll be back in a second." he then said to her, seeing that she wasn't obviously in the mood to have another discussion or opinion on her mother, and after having pressed his lips to hers once more, he stood up and took the direction of the stairs.

Checking to see if Bella wasn't looking at him and satisfied when he saw her with her nose in her books again, he quickly grabbed his bags and just as fast made his way upstairs.

"Scoot forward." he instructed ten short minutes later when he joined her again, dressed in sweatpants and a gray wife beater that left nothing to the imagination, and sat right behind Bella when she obeyed and made room for him.

The second he was settled, he wrapped his arms around her and held her like his life depended on it, sighing contentedly at being near her again. He had only been away a few hours, but that had been the most he had had to be apart from her for the last two days and they had already felt like hell.

"Did you eat?" Bella questioned him suddenly, thinking that she would just go and make him a quick lunch if he hadn't. After all as far as she knew he hadn't eaten anything in a while.

"Yeah, I did…" he replied, having had lunch with Jasper when he had seen that he wouldn't be able to get back in time to eat with her.

"Good!" she said simply and gently squeezed the hand that rested on one of her knees now.

"Do you think your mom would be okay with tonight?" Edward pondered a second later, knowing that her hatred stopped at him and wasn't extended to his family, but not sure nonetheless if she would want to have dinner with him and his parents for all that.

Of course when he had pointed that out to his mother she had told him to stop with his non-senses and that Renée would be fine with it, but that didn't mean that he was more convinced now than he had been before.

"About?"

"Dinner… at my parents'!" he reiterated, wondering if Bella had been listening to him at all earlier.

"Why wouldn't she be?… you know she just loves your mother." Bella retorted, knowing how well their mothers had always gotten along and still did surprisingly, even when things had gotten from bad to worse between them.

"Okay." Edward just shrugged, deciding to trust her on that, after all she knew Renée better than he could, and just because she probably still wanted to see him dead, or at least castrated, didn't mean that she wouldn't behave in front of his parents.

"Edward? What are you doing?" Bella demanded a moment later when Edward, having obviously already forgotten about his earlier preoccupations, started to run his fingefrs along her thighs and nuzzled her neck in the most distracting way.

"If you have to ask, obviously something wrong!" he answered as his tongue trailed leisurely up to her ear, before he bit gently on her earlobe.

"No… I… It's just… if you want me to take this week off, I need to do this right and concentrate! And right now… you're definitely not helping!" Bella told him, even if she could easily admit that she would rather let him do whatever it was he had in mind than having to do this.

Unfortunately she was already way behind on her schedule as it was with her mother being here, if she hoped to finish this on time and be free for the rest of the day so she could enjoy his company later, she couldn't afford to waste any more time.

"I'm sorry… but I just can't stand being away from you right now!" Edward breathed out and by the husky tone of his voice, Bella could tell that sorry wasn't exactly what he was.

Aroused would probably suit better, but as much as she wanted to give in, she knew she couldn't. Not now at least.

"Edward … this is really important!" Bella reminded him, throwing a look over her shoulder that should have frozen him on the spot, if he hadn't read the same desire in her eyes he felt himself.

"I know!" he conceded, nipping at her jaw line before stopping and sighing when Bella pulled slightly away from him and regarded him even more sternly this time. "Okay, okay… I promise to not bother you, but please don't send me away… I need to be close to you!" he relented in a whiny tone that would have melted Bella's heart, if she hadn't found that almost comical coming from her twenty-eight years old husband.

"You sound like your daughter when she's afraid I'm going to send her to her room!" she teased, before having to roll her eyes when Edward added a cute pout and a slight trembling of his bottom lip at his already crestfallen expression. "Okay… fine! Stay close to me then!"

At this point, she didn't think that she would be able to get him to move anyway, even if she tried to with an iron bar with the way he was holding on to her. And if he let her work, she guessed that she had no reason to complain, after all she loved having him near her as much as he could.

For a few minutes, Edward was happy with doing just that so, watching as she wrote and prepared her lessons, admiring once more just how brilliant his wife could be, but soon he had other ideas running through his mind again and wasn't able to stop himself.

"Hmm… what to do, what to do with my time now?" chin on her shoulder, he whispered matter-of-factly, hoping that she would pay more attention to him if he made his presence known from time to time.

"I thought you just wanted to be close to me!" Bella argued back but much to Edward's disappointment, she didn't stop what she was doing for all that.

Okay, so he would have to push this up another notch.

"Right… but you're busy… so…" he shrugged slightly before smiling broadly, like he had just had the best idea of the year. "Oh, I know!"

"Edward? What now?" Bella asked as she felt him opening a few buttons to her shirt, or his actually, and once more she wondered if she would ever finish this for Harry.

With Edward behaving like he was, things looked pretty compromised, and she was ready to scold him once more when his next words stopped her dead on her tracks.

"I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…" he whispered tenderly, placing a kiss between each little utterance, on her now bare shoulder, her shoulder blade, higher on her neck, everywhere he could reach from his position.

"W-What are you doing?" Bella questioned, voice quivering as much from the sensation of his lips on her as the sweetness of his words.

"Making up for each and every day I couldn't tell you just how much I love you… and for each little good morning kiss I couldn't give you!" he explained like it was the most natural thing in the world and continued with his ministrations. "I love you… I love you…"

"Edward … that would be something like what… two hundreds and ten '_I love you's_' and kisses at the very least, you realize that?" she pointed out, even if that was probably the most inane thing she could have come up with in answer to his declaration.

Yet it was that, or crying her eyes out in reaction and she didn't think that was what Edward was going for.

"I know… now shush, you're going to make me lose _my_ concentration!" Edward answered playfully, adding a slight bite in punishment for the interruption. "I love you… I love you…"

"Don't tell me you're really counting them!" Bella asked incredulously, obviously realizing that Edward was more serious even than what she had first believed.

He was far from being finished though, if he really meant to go through with that many 'I love you's'. Or more, considering that her estimation was only accurate if they only counted the last seven months. Who knew how many he really planned to whisper to her.

"Eleven... I love you… Twelve... I love you… Thirteen... I love you…" Edward enunciated, the smirk evident in his voice, and Bella knew it would be no use asking him to stop when he was like that.

Not that she really wanted him to, she had missed those words too much for that.

"You're completely nuts!" she just told him, thinking that for now she would just let him be… and reward him later for his tenderness. "Oh, well… just do whatever you want!"

She rolled her eyes once more at his behavior but didn't protest any further when he continued and intertwined their fingers together, one of his hands following hers each time she moved it over her papers and only relishing his hold on her when she needed to reach for a book, or anything else, and she gently asked him to.

Edward kept on with his profession of love and his tender kisses so, while Bella continued working, even more motivated to finish now so she could take care of her husband, and that was how Renée found them when she came back not twenty minutes afterwards.

They had obviously not heard her enter, but that gave her a few minutes to just observe them together. As much as she hated to admit it, it was like looking at Edward and Bella at their best, just like they had been for most of their relationship before all went to hell, unable to be away from each other, unable to stop touching even for a minute, and though she couldn't hear what Edward was murmuring from where she was, she had no doubt about the nature of the words.

Not wanting to feel like a voyeur however, she cleared her throat after a moment, making her presence known and barely hiding a satisfied smile when she saw Edward and Bella pulling apart like two teenagers caught in the act.

Well, at least she still had some effect on those two.

"Oh, mom?… hey… how… how long have you been here?" Bella acknowledged her and asked, trying her very best to keep her voice as normal as possible and not have it squeak out.

It was ridiculous, since after all she and Edward weren't doing anything wrong, but the way her mother was looking at them would have chilled out even the bravest.

"Long enough!" Renée stated, still eyeing Edward a little suspiciously, even if he did his best to not cower under her gaze. She had learned to hate him so much during the last months, it was hard to forget or completely let go of the feeling in a day. "I'm going to make myself a tea… do you want some?" she added after a moment when it looked like neither of them was going to comment and she considered she had made them squirm in their seat long enough.

"No, thank you… we've got everything we need here!… uh, do you want me to help?" Bella proposed after having refused her offer and pointed to the grape juice bottle she had on the table.

"No, it's okay… I think I can still find my way around the kitchen and make myself a tea… just… continue whatever it is you two were doing!" she told them with a slight wave of her hand, before disappearing through the door that communicated between the living room and the kitchen.

As soon as she was gone Edward seemed to breathe again, but Bella was surprised nonetheless when she felt his hands creep up her sides, just under her shirt this time.

"Edward? Stop! My mother is just a room away!" she hissed out through her teeth, her eyes darting to the door like she expected her mother to come back any second and see exactly what Edward was doing to her.

"Well, she's not _here_… and you heard her… she told us to keep going!" Edward answered cheekily while he nuzzled her neck, his breath hot on her skin, acting like he had just not been scared shitless not two minutes ago. Oh, how easily they forgot.

"This is… hmm… _not_ what you were doing before!" Bella replied, voice hoarse, as one of his hands cupped one breast and the other descended dangerously close to her heat, and as enjoyable as it was, she wondered nonetheless what game he was playing now, or why he had just chosen her mother's return to start this.

"No, but I was dying to!" Edward threw back sincerely, knowing that Renée or not, he had been heading this way.

There was only so much he could take, being this close to Bella, before wanting more. Much more.

"Edward!" Bella moaned out despite herself when, after having passed the slim barrier of her shorts, deft fingers caressed her clit and parted her folds.

Oh, god! And just what the heck was she supposed to do now?

"I love you!" Edward growled hoarsely in response, when he felt just how wet she already was. And he had barely touched her yet.

Well, that wasn't exactly true, but she had not seemed all that affected until now. Not that he could tell at least, given the way she had kept working like he hadn't even been there, gently taunting her.

"EDWARD!" Bella all but cried out his name again, as he now inserted two of his fingers into her receptive core.

"I love you… do you want me to stop, baby?" Edward demanded, even if he had no intention of stopping before he would have gotten her exactly where he wanted her, his husky voice sending torturous shivers down Bella's spine.

Of their own volition, her arms came up around his neck and she forgot all about her mother and the hell there would be to pay if she caught them like this, married or not.

"God, no!" she whimpered as Edward's fingers picked up pace, making it near impossible for her to concentrate on anything else.

"I thought so!" Edward growled back, not very far from losing it himself at this point.

Sucking on the pulse at her neck, he worked his fingers steadily in and out of her, and though he had lost the count as soon as she had arched into his arms, all along he kept repeating his litany of 'I love you's', until finally Bella came apart in his arms, and only stopped to quell her cry of pleasure into his mouth.

Breathing uneven, Bella closed her eyes, relishing in Edward's soothing kisses afterwards, while she did her best to bring her heart rate to a more normal pace.

"Hmm, delicious!" Edward praised as he pulled his fingers out and sucked them into his mouth, licking them clean, still oblivious to the fact that his mother-in-law was standing by the doorframe now again.

Bella saw her however the instant she opened her eyes back, and instead of the saucy remark she had had in mind, she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips, causing Edward to follow her gaze.

"Uh… I… B-Bella spilled some of her j-juice on my hand!… and uh, I d-didn't want to waste it!" he stuttered lamely at Renée's less than thrilled expression, having at least the grace to blush, even if he clearly didn't feel ashamed for what he had done.

This was his wife after all, and he could please her any way he wanted, right?

"Oh. God… shoot me, please!" Bella muttered miserably, falling face first against the table and banging her head on it.

And what was he going to say next, huh? '_Hey, Ren', want some_?'. This was even worse than that time Carlisle had caught them making love, if that were possible!

"Oh, dear Lord… I think I'm gonna be sick!" Renée brought a hand to her heart and grunted in disgust herself, clearly having seen where Edward's hand had emerged from even with the table in front of them, and if she had still had any doubts, Bella's totally embarrassed and crimson face had given him away.

She had come back to ask when Janelle would be home, since she obviously wasn't here yet despite what Bella had told her earlier, but there was no way she would stay with them now, she thought, rushing out of the room once more.

Her daughter could be married all she wanted, there were just some things she didn't feel the need to know, least of all _see_, and that had already been an eyeful.

"I so know you didn't just say what I think you said to _my mother_!" Bella turned around and shrieked as soon as her mother had left, whacking Edward on the head and wondering what would be the penalty for killing her husband. Being a widow didn't sound so bad suddenly.

"What?" Edward asked with a sexy chuckle that only served to unnerve Bella more, and rubbed the spot where she had smacked him. "Wasn't this the truth?… would you like me to lie to your mother?" he tsked then, like _he_ had been the one on his best behavior, and _Bella _the one with a problem.

"God… what's gotten into you today?" Bella nearly pulled her hair out at Edward's casualness, even if she couldn't say that she was really angry with him at this point.

She just had a hard time believing that this was really happening at all. This was her mother for crying out loud, didn't he see that this was wrong on so many levels? Besides, wasn't the situation already horrible enough as it was to have him adding even more fuel to the fire?

"You should better think about what could get _into you_ right now, baby!" Edward bracketed her hips and whispered suggestively into her ear as he pulled her closer to him, so that she could _feel_ exactly what he was talking about.

Now that Renée had caught them once, he doubted that she would venture anywhere near them any time soon, and even if she did, too bad for her, but he didn't really care. He needed his wife and he would be damned if he didn't show her how much, right now.

"Oh, my… but you're completely obsessed!… okay, who are you and what have you done with my husband?" Bella didn't know anymore if she should laugh herself into fits, or just strangle him at this point, although there was no denying how promising what she was feeling could be.

_Very_ promising… hmm… Okay, maybe she would worry about her mother later.

"Your husband, honey, hasn't gotten any in nearly a year… so please bear with him and excuse him if he can't help but wanting you so much!" Edward defended, mouth working her jaw line again and making Bella lose the battle little by little.

"Seven months, Edward… s-seven months are n-not a year!" she countered weakly, distracted by the alluring things his hands and lips were doing to her body.

"They surely felt like years to me!… and just so that you know… I have every intention to make up for each and every lovemaking session I missed, too… just after I finish with the '_I love you's_!" Edward warned slyly, even if he knew that they would have to stay behind closed doors for weeks on end for that to happen.

Well, maybe next holidays they could leave Janelle with his parents and work on that.

"You're going to kill me!" Bella retorted, eyes going wild, already picturing herself dying from an overdose of hot steamy sex.

Oh well, she guessed that there were worse ways to leave this world, right?

"Oh, my… I surely hope not! What would I do without you then?" Edward threw back all too dramatically, turning her completely around now so she was forced to straddle his lap.

"You're insane!" was Bella's answer and though she shook her head at him, there was nothing but affection behind the words.

"I'm in love!" Edward vowed sincerely, but when she looked at him with an eyebrow raised, he felt compelled to add, "Fine, _insanely_ in love if you want... Does that qualify?"

And that did it apparently because the next second, he was rewarded with the most beautiful smile he could have wished for.

"I love you, too!" Bella breathed out, arms around his neck now, seconds before she kissed him breathless.

"Oh-kay love… that's a start… now just keep the other two hundred and nine coming, sugar!" Edward coaxed with a slap on the ass and a strange southern accent that only made Bella giggle at his craziness.

"I will… but for now, you _really_ need to let me work!" she promised and reminded him once more, ready to leave his lap, but Edward pulled her down again before she had even time to stand up completely.

"And what if I don't want to?" he challenged throatily, running his hands under the legs of the boxers she was wearing and cupping her behind.

"Then we'll have a problem!" Bella informed him, though the only problem she seemed to have right then was to stay calm and not ravish her handsome husband right there, right then.

"A problem we could easily solve!" Edward remarked huskily, bringing her even closer to him and sucking her bottom lip between his own.

"And how, please do tell?" Bella wondered, getting caught in his game and grinding into him before she could stop herself.

"You know how!" Edward growled, opening her shirt and looking down at her breasts with a bright wicked smile, before kissing her exposed skin.

"Edward… my mother is here... We can't possibly just…" Bella lamented as much as she hated it, gesturing wildly like it was supposed to make him understand whatever she meant.

"Of course we can… it's not like she doesn't know we're married… I'm pretty sure she already figured we… do the deed, too, you know!… besides, I think she needs to understand how much I love you and how much I want you!" Edward pointed out, trailing his lips even lower now and finally suckling one taut nipple into his mouth.

At this point, he didn't care if Renée pulled out a camcorder and filmed them, there was no way he was going to stop.

"I b-beg to differ." Bella moaned out, eyes tightly closed now, briefly wondering how she was even able to still line up two words.

"I'm telling you, she needs a reminder… have you seen how she looks at me? If she were an alien and her eyes could shoot Death-Rays… I'd already be six feet under!" Edward momentarily paused and told her, though the last part was whispered a lot lower, like despite all of his bravado, he was afraid nonetheless Bella's mom would hear him, enter the room and just zap him into oblivion.

With her you never knew.

"She's not that bad, Edward… she'll probably just hold some small grudge for a while of course, but it'll pass!" Bella sobered up some at that, and cradling his face in her hands, she punctuated the statement with a tender kiss.

She had known that her mom wouldn't welcome Edward back in the family on sight, but she thought she was behaving pretty decently so far, considering the situation and the fact that she had probably thought about finding him and emasculating him all the way from Forks to here.

"I know, but since this is partly her fault anyway!" Edward responded just too casually and tried his best to hide a smile when he saw Bella frown at his words.

"How can it be her fault?"

"She's your mother… she shouldn't have made you so beautiful and sexy… and I wouldn't have such a hard time resisting you!" he declared silkily, his hungry gaze undressing her and only increasing her need for him.

"Oh, so now you can't resist me?" Bella gulped thickly before she could say anything else. Was it awfully hot in there or what?

"Never could, never will!" Edward stated with a slight shrug and an exaggerated sigh, like that was something that was supposed to bother him, and Bella all but melted in his arms.

He was just too cute to be true.

"You know what Edward, I'll make you a deal!" she announced at last, body already quivering in anticipation.

Why was she surprised, she should have known she wouldn't win this one.

"What kind of deal?" Edward demanded, clearly interested and eager to know. He just hoped it was what he wanted.

"I grant you a quickie in the bathroom if you promise me to let me work afterwards." Bella proposed and nearly hit Edward when he cocked his head to a side and acted like he had to think it over.

Damn that man and his control sometimes.

"How long the quickie?" he asked then, with a lopsided grin that would have made Bella fall in love if she weren't already so crazy about him.

"Edward… be serious!" she almost whined nonetheless, itching with the need to feel all of him now more than ever.

"I always am… c'mon, let's get naughty… before you change your mind!" Edward threw back excitedly, and before Bella could say more, he had her up and in his arms, ready to get that show on the road.

"I won't… god, I'm sopping!" Bella growled herself as she clung to him, finally admitting out loud that she wanted this just as much as he did.

"Saturated I'd say, honey… god, believe me, I can feel it… and I'm not sure I'm gonna make it to the bathroom!" he told her and kissed her passionately before pulling slightly apart and raising an eyebrow mischievously, "Do you think your mom would mind the live show?"

"EDWARD!" Bella could only cry out, as much in reaction to the horrid suggestion, as to the fact that he was now running up the stairs and barely missed dropping her in his haste.

God, her mother was so going to kill her for this.

* * *

Much to both Bella and Edward's delight, the quickie turned into a full session of mind blowing sex, first on the bathroom counter because they just couldn't wait a second longer and Edward slid home as soon as he had managed to get rid of her shorts, and then in the shower because they still wanted more and couldn't get enough of each other.

Much to Renée's horror… caught in the feeling, they weren't exactly quiet or discreet about it, and it didn't take her long to figure out precisely what they were doing and want to flee the house.

After all there were only so many '_oh, yeah, __Edward__ … right there… Edward… Edward… yes, __Edward__!_' a mother could bear to hear before she was completely scarred for life.

Fortunately, the opportunity presented itself when Esme Cullen called to ask Edward and Bella to stop on their way and bring some wine, and after she informed her that they were all invited over for dinner, Renée used the occasion to ask her if they would mind if she came over herself right away, that way she would be able to see and spend some time with her granddaughter.

That was why when Bella came down a good hour and a half later, without Edward of course who suddenly was feeling like staying upstairs and taking a nap, all she found was a note from her mother letting her know about her whereabouts and what Esme had required.

Now, as much as she hated the fact that her mother had felt the need to leave like that -and she wasn't naïve enough to not know _why_ exactly she had- part of her was grateful nonetheless, because at least that way she hadn't had to explain why her eyes had been puffy and red, and why it had been evident that she had been crying. Again.

Her mother would most likely have concluded right away that Edward had found a way to hurt her again, despite her protestations, but she wouldn't have been further from the truth.

No, once more he had only proven to her just how wrong she had been about him, and once more she had felt her heart burst near the point of explosion with love for him, the feeling leaving her nothing short of breathless and emotional as well.

When he had pulled her into the bedroom when they were just out of the bathroom, she had first thought that he wanted to get at it again, as crazy as that seemed, and she had nearly called to have him committed, but never in her wildest dreams could she have only imagined what would be expecting her in there.

She had almost lost it already when Edward had started to remind her how much he could love her and how miserable he had been all those months when he thought they had lost each other, but when he had continued by saying that even with that, part of him had never managed to stop hoping for all that, or thinking about her wherever he could go, she had really thought that she would just pass out from the lack of air and he would have to reanimate her.

Her throat had been so clogged with emotion by then, it had taken all of her willpower to force herself to just take in her next breath, and yet she had still somehow held strong, knowing intuitively that that had been important for Edward. There had been nothing else she could have done while he was talking to her.

But then… then he had gone and grabbed a few bags from their walking-in wardrobe, bags she had learned he had kept at Rosalie's till then, and all her good resolutions had gone right through the window.

Tears had trickled down her cheeks almost on instant when he had explained what they were, and it had only gotten worse as he had presented her with seven months worth of gifts coming from his various trips, one more beautiful and meaningful than the other.

Each time she had opened one he had let her know where they were coming from and suddenly she had felt even more stupid for having felt jealous of her daughter, all those times he had come back with a little something for her and she had thought he had completely forgotten, or not cared, about her.

Some of her gifts were way more extravagant of course than a few dolls or stuffed animals, but just like Janelle had before her, Bella knew she would treasure them like they were the most precious things in the world, whether it were the silky scarf that she was sure had to have cost even more than what she could imagine, the painting of one of her favorite but not really well known yet artists and that she never thought she would ever see in her house, or the gold earrings she would wear as frequently as she could from then on. Among other things.

She loved them all, yet the one that truly touched her the most was the silver charm bracelet that she swore would never, ever leave her wrist from that moment. It was simple in its beauty, and yet the most amazing thing she had ever seen or been given, four perfect hearts, entwining all their initials, B-E-J.

It was probably not the most expensive of the things he had already offered her in the ten years or so they had been together either, but it meant so much more to her than anything he could have come up with, considering what had been their situation when he had bought it.

Hours later as she kept fingering it on their way to Edward's parents', Bella still felt the same urge to cry, but this time at least she managed to control herself. Like Edward had said, of joy or not, he had seen enough of her tears to last him a lifetime, and she knew that losing it again just wouldn't do it, no matter that he hadn't been better off himself earlier.

They had made quite a pair in fact, sitting on the bed, all but crying into each other's arms, sobbing and laughing stupidly between tears and soothing kisses. It was no wonder it had taken them so long to calm down and at least look somewhat more presentable, even if in the end it hadn't mattered much, since her mother had already cleared the place by the time Bella had gotten back to work.

"You okay?" Edward interrupted her musing, smiling tenderly when her gaze snapped to him and she seemed to realize where she was.

"Yeah… just thinking." Bella responded with a soft smile herself, appreciating once more just how he seemed to be in tune with her emotions and concerned about her first before anything else.

"About?" he asked softly, bringing a hand over hers and giving her a gentle squeeze.

"You!" Bella whispered naturally, her eyes boring into his and telling him all he needed to know.

"Good things I hope?" he questioned nonetheless, a teasing hint in his voice. Like he didn't already know.

"Very good things, yeah!" Bella admitted easily, her smile broadening when he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.

"Well, that's great for me, right?" Edward continued like nothing, but this time he couldn't help licking suggestively between each digit, and Bella barely stifled a moan at the sensation.

"Huh-uh!" was all she could say, and she was almost grateful when he had to momentarily let go of her hand, so he could open the electric gate and maneuver the car into his parents' long driveway, now that they had reached their destination.

"Okay… don't move!" Edward instructed, as he quickly parked the car and the next second he was out, making his way around it to open the door for her.

His eyes didn't leave hers as he moved though, and he nearly tripped over his own feet when he noticed the way she followed his every step hungrily. If he didn't know better, he would think that despite everything they had already done in the last couple of days, and how many times they had done it, she still wanted more.

Well, he was more than ready to provide her with what she needed, it was just too bad they would have to wait for that… and find a way to pass under Renée's radar later this time. But that didn't mean of course that they couldn't get a little something in the meantime. Just a foretaste of what would come hopefully.

Taking her hand as soon as he had the door opened, he helped her out, and almost right away pulled her into his arms, not wasting any time to caress her sweet lips with his.

He didn't mean to get them particularly far however, and that was probably why he was quite surprised when Bella cradled his face when he tried to pull away and crashed her lips to his more forcefully, deepening the kiss before he had a chance to react or protest.

He tried, but no amount of self-control could have stopped him from groaning when Bella tangled her tongue with his, and moaned herself into his mouth.

His hands gripped her hips almost painfully, caught between the furious urge he felt to take her just where she was, and the necessity just as intense to stop her while he was still able to, but in the end it was the urgent need for air that took that decision for him, making them separate eventually.

He was almost convinced that the problem was solved then and that it was the end of it for now, when Bella attacked him once more.

"Bella, shouldn't we g-go inside?" he stuttered as she made her way up his neck, leaving there hot little moist kisses that threatened to drive him crazy.

"Not yet… I feel like being naughty again!" she bit on his earlobe and he only understood just how naughty she indeed planned to be when he felt her small hands unbuckling his belt.

She didn't know herself what had suddenly gotten into her, but she was too excited to care.

"Bella, baby… we're… oh, god… we're in my parents' driveway!" he reminded her, like she could have forgotten, and swallowed thickly when her fingers worked on his zipper the next second.

"Shh… if you keep quiet, no one we'll know… no one can see us!" Bella silenced him with a soft nibble of his lips and tried to reassure him, knowing that what she was saying was true.

They were almost in the dark, surrounded by trees, hedges and a huge gate, and unless you watched from the first floor windows of the house, they were pretty safe as far as she could tell. Or so she thought.

"I'm not sur-… oh, shit!" Edward hissed out when cool air hit his aching member and then Bella unexpectedly slid along his car, taking him in her mouth in one quick swift move.

It didn't take him long to grow completely hard again, and despite his earlier protests, for a few minutes all he could do was enjoy the feeling, as Bella worked his length in and out of her mouth like she couldn't get enough of it… and pray that they wouldn't get caught.

Yeah, like he had ever been so lucky.

"Oh, god… HE-EY Mrs. Ro-Robinson!" Edward moaned out in absolute pleasure before realizing that his parents' neighbor was on her own driveway, looking at him from behind her smaller hedge and he had no choice but to greet her, the words rushing out in a high squeal.

If it weren't for the car in front of him and that hid him partially from her gaze, at least where it counted, she would definitely have a very clear view of what his lovely wife was currently doing to him.

Unsuccessfully, he tried to move away from Bella and stop her there before this had any chances to get even worse, but said wife had apparently other plans and very nearly killed him when she chuckled at his obvious embarrassment, the vibrations running all along his throbbing hardness that she had yet to release from the hot confines of her mouth.

"Edward… how are you?" the old lady asked, genuinely interested since with the way he always rushed in and out of there, it had been a very long time since she had had any opportunity to talk to him, and Edward truly wondered why the hell she couldn't see that he was in no state to hold a conversation.

"F-Fiine!" he all but shrieked as Bella chose just that moment to fondle his sacs and suck even harder on him.

Oh, boy, he was really only one second away from losing it. And he would, right there, in front of his parents' almost seventy-year-old neighbor if she kept that up. No pun intended.

"Great… that's great!" the other woman said awkwardly and eyed him suspiciously now.

What was wrong with him, and what was he waiting for outside anyway? she wondered. His parents were home, she knew, she had seen them not an hour ago.

Instead of hearing him answering though, she saw him grimace and bit on his lip, and when he braced himself against his car, she truly thought that he had to be sick, or at least not feeling very well.

"Are you sure you're alright, Edward?" she couldn't help but press and even considered calling his parents, because he really didn't look okay to her now and that was scaring her a bit.

"Y-Yes… yeess!… oh, _fuck_, yes!" having endured all that was humanly possible, Edward screamed at last as he eventually lost the battle and emptied himself into Bella's hungry mouth, and the only thing the still clueless woman could do was open big saucers eyes, as she saw him repeatedly bang his hand against the roof of his car.

Merely seconds later, a beautiful brunette that she recognized as his wife seemed to appear out of nowhere, or more precisely it looked like she was coming from _under_ the car, and turning to her, she wiped the corner of her mouth and smiled at her like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Hey, Mrs. Robinson… pretty hot night, huh?" Bella greeted, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, not the least ashamed with her behavior since she had never really liked the woman anyway. Maybe this way she would mind her own business from then on.

"OH. MY. GOD!" the woman yelped as she finally understood what had been _wrong_ with the Cullen kid, and she rushed back inside like her life depended on it.

Oh, god! That young generation, they were all… perverted and depraved. Oh, _god_, doing… _that_… in an almost public place and where everyone could see them, she shuddered as she quickly ran from room to room, closing all the windows on her way like she was afraid they would follow her and enter her house even from there if they could, and pervert her, too.

"You know my parents are so going to hear about this now, right?" Edward remarked as he saw a still giggling and proud Bella turn to him and pop a gum into her mouth, looking all innocent despite what she had just done.

Oh, yeah, his parents would know… and surely give him an earful.

"Well, Edward, it's not like they don't know we… do the deed, right?… but who knows, maybe they need a reminder, too!" Bella threw mischievously and left swaying her hips, causing Edward to groan low in his throat.

That little minx. Why hadn't he known then that she would make him eat his words sooner or later, he wondered as he readjusted his clothes, grabbed the two bottles of wine they had gotten, and followed her to his parents' house at last.

No sooner had Bella knocked on the door that it was opened by a smiling Carlisle and she wasn't surprised to see her daughter hot on his heels, Janelle all but barreling into her the instant she saw who it was.

"Hey, sweetheart… how is my baby today?" Bella squatted down to her level and hugged her tightly, this being the first time she had really seen her in the day.

"Fiiine!" Janelle kissed her mother on the cheek and was quick to answer, but the next second she seemed to not care about her that much anymore and not seeing her father immediately, couldn't help asking, "Where's daddy?"

"Hey, honey!" handing the wine to his father, Edward said from behind Bella before she even had any chance to reply herself and as fast as that, Janelle left her mother's arms for her father's much stronger ones, causing Carlisle to chuckle and Bella to roll her eyes.

"I miiiss'd you!" Janelle told Edward when he picked her up, hugging him like she hadn't just seen him a few mere hours ago.

"I missed you, too, Princess!" Edward declared back and all but poked his tongue at Bella, when he caught her mocking him behind Janelle's back.

"Yeah, she missed her daddy alright… but did she miss the one who had to carry her for nine long months?… of course not… _daughters_!" Bella exclaimed when Carlisle couldn't hold it any longer and laughed openly at both their attitudes now, and she only noticed her mother behind them when she heard her snort at her remark, as if to say '_you're one to talk._'

So, okay, she had probably been as bad as Janelle when she had been little herself, but it seemed quite incredible to her nonetheless that her daughter could be so eager to see Edward when she had seen him this morning and later this afternoon, and _she_ had been the one to barely get a glimpse of her. Shouldn't it be just the opposite?

Yet despite everything, she guessed that she couldn't really blame her, given that Janelle most likely felt still a little insecure about the situation, and she probably needed to reassure herself that Edward was really here, and would still be, after every time they were separated, no matter the amount of time that that could be. Normal indeed, but that didn't mean that Edward had to flaunt it into her face.

"Edward, Bella, hey… where were you? I could have sworn I heard your car at least ten minutes ago!" as they moved into the living room, Esme joined them and nearly caused Edward to have a heart attack just where he was.

Before he could find a good excuse that could somehow justify why they hadn't entered right away when they had indeed arrived ten good minutes earlier, he caught the mischievous glint in Bella's eyes, and that was all he needed to know that he was even in more trouble than what he could have predicted.

"Oh, yeah… that was us!… It's just that I plan on taking and driving that big thing of his regularly from now on, and Edward was showing me how to… handle the stick, you know… those gears are so hard for me… I mean so hard to change, for my tiny hands… But I think I'm getting the knack of things pretty fast… am I not, honey?" Bella provided with a natural that not only scared the hell out of Edward, but caused him to choke on his own breath and nearly cough his lungs out.

"Honey?" she then called all too innocently to be honest when he was apparently not quick enough to answer to her liking, and if she saw the '_you'll-pay-for-this-later_' look he gave her, she didn't let it on.

"M-Most definitely!" he finally concurred when he recuperated. "You'll be… able to drive the jeep in no time, don't worry…" he felt the need to add just to be safe, but just one look at Renée told him that if there was still a slight chance that his parents didn't suspect a thing, _she_ at least had not believed a word of what he had just said.

God, she was probably thinking that he was some kind of sex-starved pervert now.

Apparently satisfied with their answer herself however, his mother excused herself almost right away and moved back to the kitchen where she apparently had still a few things to take care of before dinner.

"Esme, wait… I'll help!" Bella called after her and with the pretense to peck Edward's cheek, whispered into his ear, "Payback is a bitch, love!" And of course, all he could do was gawk at her.

"Daddy, what's a b-…" having obviously heard her mother since she was still in Edward's arms, Janelle was on her way to question him aloud when Edward clamped a hand over her mouth, smiling forcedly at Renée and his own father who still seemed to wonder what was suddenly wrong with him.

Well, his father seemed… Renée looked more like she was debating with herself if she could kill him and get away with it. Thank God he knew she wouldn't try anything as long as Janelle would be there with them. And no, he wouldn't feel any remorse hiding behind his little girl.

"Shh, no… you didn't hear a thing!" he whispered to his daughter before kissing her and lowering her to the floor, and after having shrugged, Janelle sauntered away to go and play with her dolls again, understanding that that was apparently one of those things she wasn't supposed to ask about.

Oh, well, grownups were so weird sometimes.

**TBC…**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

AN: hey, guys… I'm back again… okay, just wanted to let you know two little things… a) I'm leaving for a few days again, since due to my ribs still hurting me, after another visit to the doctor, I'm actually off work till next week in the end… so the next update should be on Tuesday night my time, or Wednesday morning, depending on when I get back… b) I'll be finishing this story next week, since after this chapter, there are only two (long) chapters left, one being the epilogue… so not much more to wait to know how Bella and Edward's adventures end!

Concerning this chapter, I just want to warn everyone again that it might be a little hard to read for some… It was actually hard to write the first time, for so many reasons, and about as much to go through again, so if you don't feel like reading about what happened to Bella and what she kept from Edward, you should skip the part in italics.

**Bunch2009**: they definitely are, and just as much to write… glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

**Flora73**: thanks once more for reviewing! This part is going to be even more emotional (at least part of it is) so keep my warning in mind! :(

**TigerEyez07**: well, here it is! Enjoy! And thanks for the review!

**Jctypes**: actually, she isn't lol but it's not for lack of trying… but who knows, maybe in the future ;) As for Kate… here is the long awaited chapter! I bet you're going to want to hit her, too! Thanks once more for the review!

PS: thanks for the get well wishes ;)

**Iluvtwilight2**: yep, Renee is leaving, no worries there! Thanks for the review as well!

**Vampiregurl**: me, too! Lol they definitely deserved some carefree moments lol thanks as well!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: ah, revenge can be sweet, I'm sure Edward thought so lol but no, no more innuendos, at least not that we'll know of! Thank you, too, for the review!

**Spannieren**: they definitely are and I personally loved them lol thanks as well for reviewing!

Okay , here goes!

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Edward… we can't…" the protest was weak, spoken between soft sighs, and had little effect, if any at all, on the man it was meant for.

"Mmm… says who?" came the answer, as lips kept nibbling on skin everywhere they found enough to torture and tease.

"Edward… stop it…" the words were stronger this time, but Bella understood as Edward's fingers crept over her thighs, that it would still not be enough for her horny husband to do as he was asked.

If she had known this was what he had in mind, she would have probably declined when he had suggested she went with him this morning, since one of her classes was out on a scholar trip and she wouldn't start working until much later.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, since spending extra time with Edward was definitely something she didn't feel like refusing, at least until Edward had pulled her down on his lap not long after they had arrived and had started to do his very best to have his way with her, right there, in his office, on his leather chair.

Now she wasn't usually one to say no when the urge struck, but recent experience had shown her that something always happened when they were being just too impulsive and she wasn't in any hurry, or even eager, to reiterate the experience, as enjoyable as she knew it could indeed be.

"Can't…" Edward denied her request once more, attacking her neck with a vengeance and causing Bella to moan aloud this time, the sure sign that what he was doing to her was definitely not leaving her unaffected.

"Edward… y-your secretary is going to be here, soon…" she reminded him since he had apparently forgotten that even though Emmett wouldn't come into the office today, they wouldn't be alone much longer, and there was simply no way she could do this, knowing that the young woman Edward had hired a couple of weeks ago would be out there and able to listen to everything they would be doing. Or could she?

From what she knew of Lauren Mallory, or the little she had learned about her in the short time since they had been introduced, she probably wouldn't blink an eye if she knew that her new boss was in there, having his way with his wife, since she was definitely not one to stick her nose where she had no business, but that didn't mean that Bella wouldn't feel bad herself, or that she would be able to look at her in the eye afterwards.

In all honesty, Bella could say that she had not really gotten a good first impression of the woman, although she would lie if she said that it hadn't had more to do with the fact that she strangely reminded her of Kate Denali than with her character and personality.

The first time she had seen Lauren in fact, Bella couldn't help wondering if she was cursed or if it was just that all the secretaries in Los Angeles had to be big breasted, blue-eyed blondes who could easily turn the head of any husband if they weren't careful, but she had quickly revised her judgment on the woman once Lauren had started talking about herself.

Originally it had been Jasper who had introduced Lauren to Edward, once he had known that his friend was searching for a replacement for Kate, telling Edward that she was a friend of his as well and that he responded for her. Lauren had been working for a huge LA firm until recently, but she had been jobless ever since said company had bankrupted a couple of months ago and Jasper had been convinced that with her experience, she could be exactly what Edward needed.

As much as Edward usually trusted Jasper and his judgment however, he hadn't wanted to do anything without consulting with Bella first and if his friend had perfectly understood that, considering what had happened with Edward's previous secretary, there was no saying how surprised Lauren herself had been when she had been called in for an interview with her potential new boss and _his wife_ who didn't even work with him. That had definitely been a first and surely not what she had been used to until then.

She hadn't really understood what the deal had been with that, until half way through the interview, Edward and Bella had briefly excused themselves and Jasper had used the opportunity to explain to her, in broad outline of course, what had happened to the couple with Edward's former secretary.

After that she had perfectly gotten why Bella seemed kind of wary of her and why Edward had insisted to have his wife present. And she had also gotten that if she wanted that job, and yes she had and badly, it would be Bella Cullen she would have to impress and not her husband and possibly new employer.

She had known then that even if Edward would be the one she would be working for in the end, he wouldn't agree to anything, not even when she came with Jasper's recommendation, if his wife wasn't okay with this. If his wife wasn't okay with _her_.

Now, Lauren wasn't normally one to like to divulge information on her sexual orientations, if only because like most people she was quite protective of her private life, but looking at Bella during the interview she had sensed that if her curriculum spoke for herself and her ability to do this job and do it well, she would need more to convince Bella Cullen that she could be trusted with her husband.

Making a split decision then, she had asked if she could have a few minutes alone with Bella and when her request had been granted despite Edward's reluctance to leave his wife's side, she had gotten right to the point.

At the risks of ruining her chances, Lauren had bluntly asked Bella if she was satisfied with what she had read of her resume and if she would have already suggested Edward indeed hired her, if she had been older and maybe less pretty.

Bella had seemed taken aback by the bold question of course, and how could she not, but when Lauren had insisted she answered nonetheless, Bella had confessed that she was indeed quite impressed with what she had read and Lauren had known she was on the right track.

The next second she had told Bella that if the only reason she hesitated was because she feared a repeat of what had happened with Kate, even if she had admitted to not having all the details about that, she could rest assured that it wouldn't happen again because as attractive as Edward could surely be, she could never find him of any interest since he simply didn't have what she usually wanted when looking for a new potential lover.

Bella had not gotten her meaning at first however, but when Lauren had clarified that point and made her understand quite unequivocally that she was more into women than men, Bella hadn't been able to stop the blush that had crept upon her cheeks.

They had talked some more then and Bella had even tried to apologize for looking so judgmental and maybe having been a little rude with her, but Lauren had not wanted to hear any of it, assuring Bella that she perfectly understood where she was coming from and that she would definitely do the same thing if it had happened to her.

Then she had managed to make Bella blush once more when she had told her that if she indeed got the job, maybe _she_ shouldn't stop by the office too often, but her '_kidding_' at Bella's appalled expression had been enough to make them both burst into laughter and win Bella over in the end.

That was actually how Jasper and Edward had found them when they had entered his office again, laughing together like they were old friends, but if they had asked what had them nearly in fits, neither of them had been willing to answer.

Edward had just taken Bella aside then and asked her again what she thought of Lauren, but instead of answering him, Bella had simply asked back what _he_ would do if she weren't there and he were the only one taking that decision.

Edward had of course been honest with her and confided that even if she hadn't been a friend of Jasper, which was certainly already a point in her favor, with her resume Lauren definitely had the qualifications required for the job. Yet that hadn't stopped him from pointing out once more that he would just look for someone else, if _she_ didn't feel right about the other woman.

Bella hadn't needed more to know what she had to do then and with a smile, she had turned to Lauren and told her that she had a new job if she really wanted it. And from what Edward had told her so far and what she had seen herself the few times she had come and seen him, she had definitely made the right decision when she had decided to take a chance with the blonde secretary.

"Edward, please… didn't you hear what I-I just told you?" Bella groaned now when Edward ignored her once more and went on like he didn't even mind if Lauren indeed stumbled upon them.

The door to his office was closed of course, but still, it didn't mean that the other woman couldn't come looking for her boss and see them putting on a show instead.

"I don't care…" Edward confirmed Bella's thoughts, but when she was ready to tell him off once more, he cut her reply off with a heated kiss that momentarily left her breathless.

"I-I do…" she stuttered when they came up for air, even if she wondered how she was still coherent enough to speak. "I… y-you're not getting into my pants here… so get your m-mind out of the gutter!" she added quite sternly, but more because she was realizing that she was slowly but surely losing that battle and that seemed to be her last resort, than because she really meant the words.

"It's a good thing you're not wearing any then I guess…" Edward countered huskily then, his hands making their way under the short skirt she was wearing, skirt that had already ridden up enough to drive him insane when he had pulled her down on him.

"Edward!... _seriously_!" Bella whimpered, trying to ward those hands off, but not encountering more success with that than she had with the rest.

"_This_ is as serious as it can get, trust me!" Edward breathed out suggestively, as he cupped her bottom now and brought her even closer to him so she could feel exactly what he was talking about.

"We c-can't do this here…" Bella moaned feebly now and Edward stifled a laugh –or was it a groan- when at the same time she couldn't help rubbing against the bulge in his pants nonetheless.

Apparently her mind and body were pulling her in two different directions and Edward knew now he wouldn't need much more to get her exactly where he wanted her.

"We can and we are…" he nibbled her jaw before whispering in her ear words that he was sure would finish to convince her. "Practice, honey… practice is the key… you know that, right?"

"I-I do… but we don't have to do this… _everywhere_!" Bella croaked out helplessly, feeling her resolve wearing thin.

She didn't even know why she even bothered protesting, she knew she wouldn't win that one anyway. _When_ had she ever won when it came to Edward in fact, huh? Never, that was when. He could make her do about anything and he knew it.

Oh, yes, she was totally hopeless.

"Bella, come on… you know you want to…" Edward continued to drop moist kisses along her jaw, but before she could reply and maybe deny his affirmation, one of his hands crept up her inner thigh, only stopping when his fingers found what he was looking for. "_Don't you_?" he groaned himself as he traced her slit through her panties and found her wet and more than ready for him.

Her gasps and soft moans only urged him to continue and he stroked her relentlessly until she forgot all about why she had wanted to stop him in the first place.

"I-If we get caught again… I'm so k-killing you this time!" she felt the need to point out nonetheless to which he only chuckled, which proved to Bella once more how much _he_ had not minded their little misadventure of a couple of days ago.

What had happened with her own mother that first day a few weeks back had been bad enough, but Bella had discovered that it could get even worse when it was your sixty-something neighbor catching you in the act, in the pool, when she had graciously stopped by to offer them some of the cookies she had baked.

And even if she couldn't say that she hadn't been a willing participant herself, Bella blamed it all on Edward, who had managed to turn an innocent late afternoon swim into a grope-and-fuck fest. And although Edward had argued that it was all Mrs. Petersen's fault and that at least that way, she would think about it twice before coming around the house and taking a look at the garden without invitation when someone didn't answer her call, it hadn't made Bella feel any better for all that.

Even if Mrs. Petersen had not seen much and had actually found the situation more funny than embarrassing, Bella was still too mortified to speak to the woman… and still trying to find something to make Edward pay for that as well.

"We won't, don't worry… Lauren knows better than to enter if I don't call her in…" Edward assured her, sucking on her bottom lip before he smiled like a kid in a Christmas store and scooped her up into his arms.

One step was all he needed to take her to his desk and after having pushed away the files he had barely glanced at before the need to be with his wife again had become too strong, he gently laid her down on it, stepping between her smooth thighs as soon as she was settled.

"If you say so…" Bella sighed against his lips, her own tongue teasing his when she felt it trace her mouth sensually.

"You won't regret this… god, I want you so much… I can't wait until tonight…" Edward breathed out hoarsely, having had her once already having definitely not been enough, considering what they had gotten used to during the last weekend, or the fact that he knew that once she would leave here, he wouldn't be seeing her for long –too long- hours.

Bella knew exactly what he meant of course and was certainly feeling the same way. It seemed that lately she needed him like every minute of every hour, and she knew she was powerless to stop that feeling. They needed each other more than ever in fact, after the hell they had been through during months and if they had definitely been making up for that for the last three weeks, everything had not been a walk in the park for all that, to say the least.

First of all, due to Renée's presence in Los Angeles, they had had to delay their trip to Florida, even if after talking it with her, they had agreed that they would leave on Tuesday only instead of Monday like it had been originally planned.

Renée had wanted to spend some more time with Janelle before she had to fly back, which both Bella and Edward had understood of course, despite the fact that her attitude toward her son-in-law had still been as frosty as that iceberg that had sunk the Titanic and that even when she had known the truth, or as much as Bella had been ready to disclose at the time, about Edward and what had really happened.

Bella had not been more eager than that to reveal the whole sordid truth to her mother, but she had been left with little choice when on Monday afternoon she and Renée had come back from shopping for the little Bella had thought they would need for their trip and they had found both Janelle and Edward asleep on the couch.

Edward had had their daughter laying on top of him, his arms tightly wrapped around her like he was trying to protect her even in her sleep, the video of Alvin and the Chipmunks he had finally purchased when Janelle had asked once more for it still playing in the background, and Bella had nearly cried at seeing father and daughter so close and looking so cute.

She hadn't thought anything could look more perfect than the two of them together in fact, but her mother's sarcastic '_funny how he can look so innocent when he's asleep_' had just ruined it all, and fed up with her little insinuations and barbs, Bella had pushed her into the kitchen for a long overdue talk.

With as much patience as she could muster considering her mother's attitude, she had poured out the whole story, ignoring Renée every time she had tried to interrupt her. She had told her about Jacob and what Edward thought had happened between them, Kate and what she had done, how she had reacted herself, _everything_ in fact, minus one detail she had known she couldn't share with anyone before sharing it with Edward first.

Afterwards, all Renée had been able to do for a while had been to sit there, looking obviously stunned to hear as much, until Bella had asked her if she understood then why she had no reason to act like Edward was some criminal, or was the only one to blame for what had happened.

Renée had only nodded then, but of course once she had found her voice again, she had been unable to help lecturing Bella about how monumentally stupid they had both been and how they should have really known better than to let things fester up between them to the point that it had nearly destroyed their marriage. Bella had clearly had no argument to contradict her on that, but she had promised her nonetheless that she would definitely not let anything like that ever happen to them again.

After that, Renée had at least stopped looking at Edward like he was some murderous psychopath she didn't want to see anywhere near her daughter and grandchild, but Bella knew she couldn't help giving Edward a piece of her mind for all that before they had left.

Renée had accepted Carlisle and Esme's invitation to stay a couple more days with them before she left herself and when they had all accompanied them to the airport on Tuesday morning, Bella had seen her mother take Edward aside with the pretence to hug him as well, after she had said her goodbye to her and Janelle, but from the look on his face at the moment, Bella had known that she had said more to him than '_have a nice and safe trip_'.

When she had questioned him later however, Edward had replied with an enigmatic '_trust me, you don't want to know_' and had only promised her that everything was alright and that her mother and he had come to an understanding, when he had seen her ready to insist nonetheless.

'_I was wrong about you apparently, and while it kind of makes me happy to know that you're not the cheating, lying asshole I thought you to be for a while… if you ever hurt my daughter again, voluntarily or not, I'll come back, slice your balls into tiny, ridiculous pieces and serve them back to you for dinner… treat her right or you will deal with me!_'

For as long as he would live, Edward didn't think that he would ever forget those words and if Renée had said that she was happy to hear it when he had told her that she didn't have to worry, because he would surely do worse to himself if he indeed ever hurt Bella again, he knew better than to not take her seriously.

Still, even if he had well known that his answer had only intrigued Bella more than she probably already had been for having witnessed the scene, there had been no way he could have repeated to her what her own mother had said. He couldn't even believe himself that that had really come out of his mother-in-law's mouth and had quickly chosen to push it to the back of his mind once they had left for Florida.

He hadn't wanted to see anything mar their trip, knowing that some moments would already be hard enough for them as it was, despite the fact that they were leaving for their first vacation together in such a long time. They had both known there had been a few things they still needed to discuss, before they could really let go of the past, and that there wouldn't be any better opportunity to do so than while they were away.

Edward had also known that they couldn't be anything but completely honest with each other if they wanted to make it work this time and not repeat the mistakes of the past, but that didn't mean that it had been in any way easy to face Bella once he had revealed to her some of the information he had preferred to hide from her when they had first talked about Kate.

Hearing Edward telling her that while she had been staying with him, Kate had tried to slip into his bed and seduce him had definitely been a sour pill to swallow for Bella, but if she had wished for a few seconds that she hadn't had to hear about the details, in the end she had guessed that she could only be glad and grateful that Edward had not been tempted by the offer for all that, despite how willing Kate had obviously been to make him change his mind, or how less than idyllic their own relationship had still been then.

Many men would have probably not thought twice, or felt any kind of remorse, about getting some action themselves while they thought their own wives were cheating on them anyway, but Edward had spent long minutes assuring her again that no matter what could have happened between them, or what he could have thought, he would have never looked twice at Kate. That he could have never felt an ounce of desire for anyone if it weren't her.

What Bella had insisted to know about however, was why he had turned to Kate in the first place? Why he had confided in her? Why he had not only revealed to her so many things about himself, but about _them_ as well, yet it had nearly broken her heart to hear Edward admit that at the time, it had seemed like she was the only one he could turn to. He knew he had made a huge mistake, considering how untrustworthy Kate had turned out to be, but back then she had seemed like the only one who gave a damn about him, or what he could be feeling.

She was there every time he was feeling down, offering her comfort and understanding and willing to hear him out, and he had let himself believe for a while that she was sincere, that she had no hidden agenda and that that was what he had needed. Someone he could freely talk to and someone to tell him that it was not all his fault, that he hadn't been the one to royally ruin everything with his wife, with his family.

If he had known then just how wrong he could truly be. Kate's deception had been even worse than what he had originally thought, as he had realized before they had left.

After having been out a couple of hours to see Emmett and look into a few things at the office to ensure that he could leave without worrying, Edward had come home to Bella with a single white rose, but while she had thought it was the sweetest thing, it had also made her remember the bunch she had received a couple of days earlier and that had left her curious about the identity of their sender.

When she had asked Edward if they had come from him, too, he had looked surprised she hadn't known for sure and had asked her if she had not even read his card.

When Bella had revealed that there had been none then, he had still wanted to believe it had been a mistake on the florist's part, but one call and a small talk with the woman who had received Kate's instructions had proven to him, once more, how truly naïve he could still be when it came to her.

Kate had _specifically_ said that there was no need for a card from what he had been told and while it had barely surprised Bella to hear about it, he had cringed once more at his own stupidity.

Then, as if that weren't enough, Edward had also discovered when bringing back what little Kate had managed to leave at Rosalie's apartment to her landlord and speaking briefly with him, that there had never been any flood in her complex building and that she had played him for a fool once more with her little distraught act.

Edward had sworn however, that it would be the last time and he had probably never been happier so than when he had talked on the phone with Emmett a couple of days after they had left and his friend had told him that he had sent Kate her letter of dismissal and that it wouldn't be long before she would be out of their lives for good then.

Much to Edward's pleasure as well, he had also confided to him that after having brought it up to his father, Charles McCarthy had agreed that it would indeed be time they expanded their LA branch and hired a third man to help them, considering that each week brought them their lot of new clients.

Emmett had then said that he would look into the few resumes his father had sent them while Edward was away, but had asked Edward nonetheless what he thought of his own suggestion to hire Samuel Uley, a young lawyer they had both gone to College with.

For having run into him not long ago, Edward had known that Sam had been looking for a higher position and more interesting job than what he was doing at 'Jensen and Patterson' and therefore he could only give Emmett his approbation, moreover when he had also remembered that Sam was single himself and apparently not in any hurry to settle down.

Edward had had no doubt then that he wouldn't mind the traveling as much as he could himself, and Emmett had promised anyway that if it came to that, he would handle himself the trips Sam wouldn't feel comfortable taking, if they indeed hired him.

Of course there was no saying that it would be tough for all of them for a while, but as far as Emmett was concerned, it was always better than seeing Edward quit, which he knew he would do in a heartbeat if he felt that was the only option he had to preserve his family.

When Edward had wanted to thank Emmett for all he had done and been ready to do for him however, Emmett had simply told him that it was the least he could do for him when Edward himself had taken a chance with him years ago and left everything behind when he had asked him to, without even knowing if they would make it. Apparently Emmett thought it was time he gave something back as well and was all too happy to be able to do that for Edward now.

Once that had been settled and with the knowledge that everything would indeed be alright in the end, Bella and Edward had truly been able to enjoy their vacation to the fullest, even if they would most likely not take another trip to Mickey's hometown any time soon.

If Janelle would probably become the happiest girl in the world if they left her to live there, Edward and Bella had had enough of Disney World to last them a lifetime. Janelle had simply been exhausting and would have certainly made them wander through the whole site the six days they had been there without even tiring, but Edward had drawn the line at three. After all there was only so much of the merry-go-rounds, theme parks and visits to the Cinderella's Castle a man could take before he went completely insane.

The rest of their daytime there had been spent visiting the city and enjoying the sun at the beach once they had driven up to Daytona Beach, but as amazing as that had been, being a family again, enjoying life without a care in the world, for Edward and Bella, it had really been the nights that had been the most memorable of all.

Behind the closed doors of their hotel room, once alone, they had talked, they had made love, they had healed, creating new memories that they hoped would be enough to erase those of the many lonely nights they had had to spend away from each other.

Yes, the nights had really been magical. Except maybe one, even if that had certainly been the most important of all in the end. The one none of them would ever forget, since as hard as it had been, that night had marked even more than any other moment they had shared since patching things up, that new beginning they had both been waiting for.

So many things had changed already because of that night.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"God!" _eyes fixed on the ceiling, __Edward__ groaned loud enough for the whole hotel to hear him, yet the dreamy and satisfied smile on his face couldn't have been wiped away with a stick of dynamite. "We keep that up and I don' think I'll still be there to celebrate my thirtieth birthday." It was said as a joke, but it didn't stop him from wondering, if only for a few brief seconds, if it were indeed possible to die from too much sex._

Ever since their reconciliation, things had been 'intense' to say the least between them, and if he knew well why they behaved as they did around each other, he couldn't deny that it was sometimes scary to see how much they needed each other.

For the past week, they had practically lived glued to the hip and had been unable to keep their hands off each other, bare the times when Janelle demanded their undivided attention of course, and if it would definitely not be the first time they were that close in their relationship, it had been a very long time since it had happened that way.

"Are you complaining?" _Bella__ demanded teasingly, as she pressed her still naked body against his side and looked at him with a smile that certainly proved she didn't mind in the least herself._

"Are you kidding me?... not at all!" _Edward__ snorted like it was the most ridiculous thing she could have thought about saying, before he gathered her even closer and whispered sincerely. "Why would I?... I missed _you_… I missed _this_ too much for that."_

"I missed you, too…" _Bella__ replied with a sweet kiss on his lips, but then couldn't help raising an eyebrow at him when he kept staring at her for interminable seconds. "What?"_

"Nothing… I guess I'm just… sometimes… you know… just wondering if I'm not still dreaming…" he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and said quite nonchalantly, but _Bella__ knew exactly how he felt._

No matter how many times they made love, and there had been quite a lot ever since they had cleared up all the misunderstandings between them, or as many as they could for the time being at least, she still had a hard time believing herself that they could be so carefree again, and express their feelings or their needs so easily.

"You're not, or if you are… I'm having the exact same dream…" _Bella__ commented, no more able to hide how happy she was with the turn of events than he obviously was himself._

This week off had probably been the best idea _Edward__ could have had. It was like leaving for a second honeymoon. Only this time they had their daughter with them of course, and they had to wait for the night to come and for her to be in bed to give free reign to their desires, but even with that and how agonizing it could be at times to have to wait to get __Edward__ all alone, __Bella__ was certainly the most serene and contented she had ever been in her whole life._

"Well, I guess what we have to do now, then… it's to never wake up." He sighed contentedly himself, smiling softly when _Bella__ settled more comfortably on top of him and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck._

"Definitely." She murmured, barely stifling a moan when she felt _Edward__'s hands running up and down her back, stroking her flesh and causing goose bumps to break over her still heated skin._

If she weren't so tired, she would have probably taken advantage of her 'position' and shown _Edward__ what kind of effect those simple caresses could have on her, even if they looked innocent enough, but she didn't think that after that last, _third_, time she would still be able to move a muscle._

_Edward__ was definitely keeping on his promise to make up for all those lovemaking sessions they had missed during the long months of their separation and the months before that, when their relationship had been a little too awkward for them to realize what they were missing._

He seemed to understand, and maybe even share, her tiredness this time however and didn't try to push it further, therefore they just lay there for long minutes, enjoying their closeness, until _Edward__'s voice broke through the silence of the room again._

"You know… there's just… maybe one thing… that could make all this even better…" his tone seemed thoughtful, like he wasn't so sure he should bring this up just now, yet couldn't help himself and just had to say it.

"And what's that?" _Bella__ asked, clearly interested, since at the moment, she could hardly think of anything that could top this or make it any more perfect, whether it were the way she felt, or the way they were together._

"I've been thinking about us and all… about what you asked me… a long time ago…" _Edward__ admitted after a while and when __Bella__ thought that he would not say anything in the end._

"What I asked you?" _Bella__ queried tentatively now, trying her best to not sound alarmed by his tone, and she lifted herself slightly up so she could see his face._

"Yeah… I know that maybe it's too soon… I mean, we just got back together after all… but this has been on my mind for a while now… and I… I don't think I want to wait any longer… I mean I-I was stupid to even think this was not what I wanted before… I thought we weren't ready but…" _Edward__ rambled on uncharacteristically, and though he kept caressing her face then running his fingers through her hair, she could definitely sense just how nervous he was._

"_Edward__? What are you talking about?" __Bella__ interrupted him and demanded softly, although she had a pretty good idea of where this was going and she could already feel her heart beating quicker in her chest at the thought._

Not that she hadn't known that they would have to talk about it eventually, but why now? They had been so happy together. So at peace. She didn't want to have to burst his bubble just now.

Unaware of what was going through _Bella__'s own mind, __Edward__ only expelled a huge sigh when he saw her sit almost completely up now and straddle his chest, apparently uncaring of her nakedness, and then he decided to just blurt it out. There was no need or reason to drag this on, was there?_

"I-I want us to have another baby…" the words were whispered softly, like he was afraid to scare her off if he said them any louder, and yet even with the possibility clearly on his mind, he wasn't anywhere near prepared for her reaction. "I mean, if you want that, too… if-if that's still s-something you want…" he was quick to add, as he felt her tense on top of him almost right away after his declaration.

He knew he was taking her by surprise since that was the first time he had mentioned it himself, or even hinted on the fact that that was something he was considering since they had patched things up, but still, that was clearly not how he had expected her to react and he couldn't help wondering if she had changed her mind since the last time they had had this conversation months ago.

Back then he had known how much she had wanted to try for another baby and he had stupidly refused her and if he had had time to think about it over and over again after he had left their house and it was clearly something he wanted now, he knew he wouldn't pressure her in any way if she was the one not ready for more now. They were definitely happy as it was, and if Janelle was the only child they would ever have, that would be fine, too, of course but he would lie if he said that the thought of _Bella__ growing round with their baby again wasn't something he envisioned in their future._

"_Bella__?" he uttered her name worriedly when she failed to answer him and his anxiety only grew stronger when he heard her mutter a strangled '_oh, god_'._

"Okay… maybe it is_ too soon…" __Edward__ deduced, thinking that maybe she just needed more time and that she would be more open to the idea when they would have spent some more time together again._

There was no rush after all, they could wait as long as she felt the need to. He could definitely give her that, considering how he had behaved in the past. In fact, he owed it to her.

"No, no… it's not… I… it's… god…" _Bella__ stammered miserably, feeling like there suddenly wasn't enough air in the room to fill her lungs._

She didn't know why she was so surprised, she had known that sooner or later this particular topic would be brought up and that she eventually would have to tell him all the truth. They had planned it that way and this had been as well about getting away from the rest of the world, as giving them the opportunity to be together to talk freely and finally clear all the misunderstandings, and one more in particular, that still subsided between them.

She had just naively thought that she would have a little more time, that they would save that talk for their last night, so it wouldn't spoil their short vacation.

She had thought wrong apparently, because as ecstatic as she could be to know that _Edward__ could feel that way, that he could be ready now and want them to try and have that other baby she had desired so much, she knew he had no idea the can of worms he was about to open and she knew that she was going to hurt him, when that was the last thing in the world she wanted._

No, she couldn't even rejoice over his declaration, not before he knew everything_. She didn't see herself telling him that that was something she wanted as well, more than anything else in fact, when there was still this huge secret between them. It just wouldn't be honest or even fair to him. The only problem was she wasn't sure he would feel the same way, once he would know._

"What is it, _Bella__?... what's wrong?" __Edward__ sat up as well now and was even more concerned when he gathered her up against his chest and he noticed just how much she was trembling._

"Why now?... I can't… I don't think I-I can do this now…" _Bella__ stammered painfully, though it seemed to __Edward__ that she wasn't even aware she was speaking the words aloud, and her reaction confused him even more._

He couldn't even tell if she was saying that she couldn't talk_ about this now, or if she just couldn't picture herself _having_ another baby. She made barely any sense to him, the only other time he had seen her reacting this way being when he had brought __Kate__ up when he still hadn't had all the facts and she thought he was having an affair with his secretary, or later on when he had asked her about __Jacob__ and what it was exactly he had seen._

"What can't you do now?... _Bella__, what's going on?... talk to me…" he pressed on before he could stop himself, but then couldn't help sucking in an audible breath when he met her tear-filled eyes._

"You're going to hate me." _Bella__ whispered in an agitated breath, making __Edward__ frown as he remembered her saying those exact words not only the previous week, but that day she had been talking with __Jacob__ Black as well._

Again he found that thought completely ridiculous of course, but obviously from the look on her face, _Bella__ truly believed that it could happen and he knew he had to reassure her._

"Hey, what have I told you before?" he demanded quietly, cupping her face in a gentle grip. "Nothing you could ever do, could make me hate you… nothing_!"_

"You say that now!" _Bella__ countered, despite how sincere it was obvious he was being._

Deep in her heart she knew, too, that he was telling her the truth and that if he hadn't hated her when he had been convinced that she had been cheating on him, he surely thought_ that he wouldn't be able to do so either now, no matter what she could tell him, but knowing what she was about to reveal herself, _she_ wasn't sure of anything anymore._

"Look at me… tell me…" he insisted, directing her gaze to him when she stubbornly looked down to his chest and refused to meet his eyes. "Does this have anything to do with that day in your classroom?" he queried then when she still kept silent, looking at him with tears brimming her eyes and like she was convinced she was going to lose him if she answered to his plea and told him what was obviously eating her up inside.

Yet even as he asked and he saw her nod afterwards, he couldn't see how that day could be linked in any way with what had brought this up, namely his suggestion to have another baby. It just didn't make any sense to him. Not yet at least.

He already knew there had been no kiss, contrary to what he had thought for months. It had only been a false perception, a trick of his mind, due to their positions and the angle they had been standing at from him. That was the only thing he had asked to know right away once they had started discussing _Kate__, __Jacob__ and all that had come between them at the beginning of their trip and he had promised her that he would give her all the time she needed to tell him what exactly he had witnessed that day, but the rest of the conversation was still over his head and remained a mystery. Though it wouldn't be for long now apparently, if he managed to convince her to talk at last._

"Okay… look, I know that I said I wouldn't pressure you and that you could tell me when you were ready… but _Bella__, I hate to see you like this… and you're scaring me… so do you think you could try and tell me… like now?" his tone was whisper-soft, like he was afraid he was asking for too much too soon and feared she would just bolt out of there in reaction, but it was obvious to __Bella__ that she had used all the patience he was capable of and that there would be no postponing this anymore._

She knew that she was lucky he had waited so long without hounding her already, moreover when it was clear to her that he had many questions about that day and what he had seen and heard, and that if he hadn't voiced them out loud since that first night a week ago, they had never been far from his mind nonetheless.

She could do little more so than breathing a shaky yes in answer and praying to God that she was wrong and that he wouldn't think any less of her once he would know.

"Alright… do you want us to get dressed?" _Edward__ proposed when she acquiesced, thinking that they would certainly be more comfortable for the long conversation he was sure awaited them if they did, but __Bella__ shook her head almost right away, convinced that she would just lose her nerve if they moved at all and suddenly started searching for clothes._

"No… it's fine… I just… I just don't know where to start..." she confessed in an uncertain murmur and just pulled on the upper sheet to wrap it around them both so they would at least feel less naked, the gesture almost automatic, yet _Edward__ could once more see how nervous she could be and tried again to alleviate her fears._

"The beginning is always the best place I've heard…" he said almost jokingly, rearranging the sheet himself so it would cover them where it seemed to matter the most, and then he stilled her hands when it seemed they wouldn't stop moving any time soon if he didn't do something about it.

"_Edward__…" __Bella__ all but groaned out his name, like what he was doing was definitely not helping contrary to what he could think, but she was prevented from saying anything else when he grabbed her hips to bring her even closer, and resting his forehead against hers, he cut her off._

"Hey, whatever it is… I'm sure it can't be that bad… and it won't make me love you any less, trust me!" he promised earnestly, before pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

"I trust you…" _Bella__ replied right away, though it didn't make her feel any less scared or nervous, no matter how true such declaration could be._

"Okay then, just start whenever you're ready… and I'll just hold you meanwhile… okay?" _Edward__ offered and did just that, wrapping his arms around the small of her back, uncaring of how much bare skin was coming into contact with more nude parts._

Of course he was very much aware of the fact that it was there and that his precious wife was naked in his arms, but he was able to momentarily force himself to forget about it, since he knew well that what she really needed at that instant was his comfort and closeness.

Just like he knew that he needed her just as close for whatever she was about to divulge. As calm as he appeared on the outside, inside his heart was triple-hammering and ready to burst out of his chest, and seeing _Bella__ looking so young all of a sudden, so fragile and vulnerable, was definitely doing nothing to help with that feeling._

"Okay… the beginning, huh?" _Bella__ sighed heavily after a while, but __Edward__ could clearly see that it hadn't calmed her down in the least, if the way her voice trembled as she spoke again was any indication. "Do you… do you remember last summer… when… when we went to visit my parents?" she questioned, surprising __Edward__ who hadn't been expecting her to start that far back, or even just with that._

He remembered of course, it would have been hard to forget, considering all that had happened during the few days they had been there. The Swans had been celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary and they had made the trip to join them and that was probably the last time that _Edward__ recalled their relationship looking like anything 'normal' before all really went to hell._

"Sure." he just replied, not having much to say for the moment? since he didn't know yet where exactly she meant to go with that.

"We hadn't been together in a while… I mean really_ together… you were always working and I… I wasn't exactly the most pleasant of company either… we just kept fighting for one thing or another back then… well, for one thing in particular…" __Bella__ pursued emotionally, remembering how strained their relationship had been prior to that trip._

Between the long hours _Edward__ pulled up at work and the scenes that ensued whenever she brought up the delicate topic of another baby, they had barely had time to 'love' each other and not be at odds. But those few days away had been like a breath of fresh air for them._

Back in Forks, they had momentarily forgotten all their problems and differences. Back in Forks, it had been like the good old times, when nothing and no one, not _Edward__'s job, not her desire and near obsession for another child, not even their communication issues, could come between them. For a little while, they had just been __Edward__ and __Bella__, in love again, and everything had been as close to perfect as it could ever be._

"Yeah, I remember… and I'm so sorry for that…" _Edward__ told her, grimacing slightly as he recalled that time and how he had noticed the growing distance between them, but had still been convinced that it was nothing to worry about. That it was just a rough patch like any married couple could have them, but that they would get through it because they were different._

God, how delusional and wrong he could have been!

"And do you remember what happened the night just before my parents' party?" _Bella__ ignored his apology for now, knowing that there wasn't much to be done about it then, moreover when she knew they were both as responsible for what they had let their relationship become._

"Yes, I do… we drove to La Push Beach and…" _Edward__ trailed off with a fond smile this time and __Bella__ picked up just where he had left off in the next second._

"…we made love almost all night…" she followed quite shyly, but her smile matched his nonetheless.

That night was forever imprinted in her mind, for so many reasons, and she had thought of it many times during the last months. It was one of the only things she had had left to get her through the agonizing moments she had had to spend away from _Edward__ and she had clung to it like a drowning man to his lifeline._

It had actually been a spur of the moment thing, something neither of them had really planned. Her parents had called it an early night and since Janelle had already been in bed herself, they had been left to themselves with no desire to join her just yet, but no idea of what to do to pass the time, until _Edward__ had asked her if she wanted to go for a drive. When she had accepted, they had left almost right away, their destination clear in both of their minds._

They had driven there many times when they had been younger and still living in Forks, the beach and one particularly well hidden cove being the place they always ran to when they wanted to be alone, and somehow it had only seemed natural to choose to go there that time as well.

Like old times, they had spread a blanket and gazed upon the stars for a while. And just like old times it had all started with an innocent kiss, a gentle brush of lips that with one look had soon grown into something more. Something none of them had been willing to deny then.

Before they could think about it twice, they had been shedding clothes and joining as if they had never been apart, as if they had still been those two teenagers, naïve about the world and how much effort you had to put into a relationship to make it work, the first rays of sunshine and the knowledge that they had a daughter who still didn't like waking up anywhere but in her own bed and with both her parents near, being the only thing that had managed to make them part and forced them to go back to a reality none of them had been too eager to face.

"It had been so long since I had felt this close to you… yeah, how could I forget?" _Edward__ admitted, his tone hoarser than he would have wanted it at the moment, but then he couldn't help adding, "… but what does this have to do with the rest?"_

As cherished as those memories were, he had still no clue of why or how they could be linked in any way with that scene he had witnessed months afterwards when things had gone from wrong to worse between them. He needed answers and wished he could have them right away, but much to his surprise, _Bella__ continued her tale like he hadn't even talked at all._

"The night after that… I drank too much and I got so sick you had to carry me upstairs…" it was as if she knew that if she stopped and acknowledged his question, she wouldn't be able to go on.

"And I stayed up most of the night… trying to make sure that you wouldn't need anything…" _Edward__ added his part, clearly remembering how worried he had been that night._

He had never seen her drink that much in fact, nor being so ill afterwards, and consequently he had not left her side, or gotten a wink of sleep, until he had made sure she was really okay.

"I must have thrown up my pill that day… and I had already forgotten the one of the day before… when… when we went to La Push…" she informed him at last, but wasn't surprised to see him still looking at her in confusion.

As bright as _Edward__ could usually be, he had evidently no idea of what was about to crash into him, and her heart tightened in her ribcage just at the thought of what it would do to him._

"Okay…" _Edward__ just uttered with a frown, like he didn't know how else he was supposed to react, still his body seemed to know that whatever she was about to say could very well shatter his world, because he suddenly seemed unable to stop it from trembling._

"I… I-I got pregnant that night, _Edward__…" the words were blurted out so softly that __Edward__ would have probably not heard her, if he hadn't been holding her so closely, but as soft as they could have been they had the impact of a punch to the gut, leaving him momentarily breathless._

_Bella__ saw him shake his head, like he couldn't quite believe what had just passed her lips, his face a mask of incomprehension and she felt her eyes sting again at seeing him suddenly so lost._

"No, you d-didn't… you… did you?" he half-chuckled, half-whispered, as if he thought it was all just a bad joke, but the sight of the silent tears now rolling down her cheeks was enough to sober him up instantly. "But how… wha-… you… we didn't… there was no…"

He was unable to form a coherent sentence, yet _Bella__ didn't need him to, to know exactly what he meant._

How was it possible that she had been pregnant and he had not known about it?

How could she have been with child, but there had been no baby after all?

God, she wished more than anything else in the world that she could take the words back or just not say anything else, because she knew just how much she was going to hurt him in a few seconds, but there was no going back. He needed to know and she needed to tell him.

"I found out a few weeks later... and I just... I didn't know what to do... I didn't know how to tell you... I..." she stammered brokenly, the fragile hold she had on her emotions being harder and harder to maintain.

"What happened, _Bella__?" __Edward__ wasn't feeling any calmer than she could herself, but if one had to be, he knew that it had to be him._

He could see that _Bella__ was barely holding it together and that it would most likely get worse before it got any better, but he would lie if he said that part of him didn't want to shake her up and beg her to just spit it out already and end there the torture. A million questions were running through his mind at the moment and he wasn't sure of how much longer he could still be kept in the dark, before he lost it himself. _

"_I wanted so much to be happy about it… and part of me kind of was I-I guess… I just… I was so scared…" upon her answer __Edward__ realized that as eager as he could be to hear _everything_, he would have to tread carefully with __Bella__ because she was clearly in no state to answer even the simplest questions._

It seemed like she had already had this conversation a million times before in her head, like she had it all rehearsed, and wasn't going to be able to tell it any other way.

"Why… why didn't you tell me?" he whispered as softly as he could nonetheless, cradling her face in his hands, but nearly breaking down himself at the sight of her obvious despair.

Still, even as he said the words, _Edward__ already knew part of the answer. He couldn't believe that __Bella__ wouldn't have at least tried, and if that were the case, it meant that he hadn't been there for her, he hadn't been there to listen to her when she had needed him._

"I tried_ to tell you… or-or at least, I tried to see how you would have reacted to the news but… y-you kept saying that it was not the right moment… and you were probably right… but I wanted that baby s-so much, __Edward__… even if it were for all the wrong reasons…" she sobbed out, only confirming __Edward__'s suspicions, yet she clung to the hands that were still framing her face, like she was convinced he would let go of her now, while she would just collapse if he did._

She couldn't afford to feel him pull away. She needed him, more than she had ever needed him in her whole life probably, but she didn't know how he would bear the thought of being this close to her once he would know what had happened.

She remembered all too well the way he had been, the way he had looked at her every time she had broached the subject, like he couldn't believe she was still trying to persuade him, when he thought he had made it more than clear that he didn't want to hear about it for now, and she had chickened out every time then. Refusing to tell him that it was already too late, that she had been careless and gone and done exactly what he hadn't wanted her to do… before lying about it for weeks.

"I know…" was all that could pass _Edward__'s suddenly dry lips at the moment, as he tried to brush her tears away and calm her some down, before she lost it completely._

He didn't know what else to tell her anyway. He had been a jerk about it back then, but so sure he knew what he was doing. He had been convinced_ that waiting a little more was the right thing to do, but not once had he doubted how much __Bella__ could have wanted that baby, or how much she would have loved it._

What he realized now though, was that just as he had denied her the right to choose when they would have that child, he had also denied her the right to be truly happy about it when it had apparently happened nonetheless.

He remembered all too well how when they had found out about Janelle, they had been both scared out of their minds at the thought of being parents, but nothing could have tempered the joy and excitation that news had brought to them as well. Besides, they had been together back then and they had known that they would get through it, no matter what.

This time, _Bella__ had been all alone. _He_ had left her all alone to face this, and not only had he made her fear him and how he would react so much that she had thought that she had no other choice but to hide it from him, but he had deprived her of the opportunity to at least rejoice some over the fact that she was going to give birth again, and that was his only fault._

She seemed so scared he wouldn't be able to forgive her once he would know what was still left to be said, but he was more and more convinced he wouldn't be able to forgive himself_ once he would._

"I didn't know what to do… I thought… I thought you would be so angry with me… that maybe you would think I had done it on p-purpose… or that…" she went on between painful gasps of air and _Edward__ felt his heart breaking just thinking that she could feel responsible for anything that could have happened, whatever that was._

Not for a second could he think that she had gotten pregnant on purpose or against his wish. If it had happened nonetheless, it was only a matter of circumstances, because it was meant to be and just couldn't have been prevented. _Bella__ was no more responsible than he could have been and he knew, without the shadow of a doubt, without her needing to tell him so, that she would have never gone behind his back willingly. She just wasn't that type of person and she would have never gone to such lengths to get what she wanted, no matter how pigheaded he could have been himself, or how much she could have disagreed with him._

"No, god, _Bella__… _I_ was being an idiot back then, but I would have been ecstatic nonetheless… I know I would have been…" __Edward__ all but cried out with as much desperation as she had mustered herself._

He needed her to understand that, as stubborn as he could have been then, he would have never resented her or their child, not in a million years. Even when they were at odds, _Bella__ was all that mattered to him and a child with her would have been a precious gift he would have cherished and loved unconditionally, because no matter what, despite their problems or how distant they could have been from each other, it would have been a part of them and it would have been created in love._

"I-I think… I think I knew that, too… I mean, p-part of me did… but for the rest… I thought… I thought I would lose you…" she gasped out, pressing her fingers to _Edward__'s trembling lips when she saw him ready to protest. "Every time I brought it up… I felt you drifting a little more away from me… I felt so lost… so confused…" she finished, new fresh tears welling up in her eyes when __Edward__'s forehead came to rest against hers, while he grabbed both her hands and brought them to his mouth._

"I definitely didn't help, huh?" his voice broke as he spoke and he placed a few apologizing kisses on her knuckles. It was definitely not enough, but he knew that whatever promises he could make in his heart at the moment, wouldn't help her in any way for now.

Still, it literally killed him inside to see how much he had hurt her. To realize that she had thought that what was usually one of the things that could bring two people as close as they could ever be, could be the reason they would lose each other, or that she could therefore have seen it as a mistake or a burden she wouldn't have been able to bear. And he really didn't need to be a mind-reader to know how much that could have broken her inside.

"It wasn't just you, _Edward__… it wasn't _you_… I should have told you, no matter what… I just kept telling myself that I would… that it was just a matter of time… soon… but there never seemed to be a right moment…" she brushed at her tears almost frantically, aware that she had not even reached the hardest part yet, but there seemed to be no use. "Then one day… I guess… it just all became too much and I kind of lost it at school… __Jacob__… J-__Jacob__ was there and I ended up telling him… god, __Edward__, I hated… I absolutely _hated_ that he knew before you… you should have been the first…" the words seemed to be wrenched from her throat, like it had indeed nearly killed her to confide in anyone before she could tell her own husband that he was going to be a father again, but even if he had wanted to, __Edward__ couldn't have found it in him to be angry._

How could he, when it was all his own doing?

"It's okay… shh, it's alright…" he promised tenderly, refusing to even think about how that felt.

It hurt of course to know that _Jacob__ Black had had that honor, that he had been there with _his_ wife, listening to her, helping her, supporting her, when he hadn't been, but considering the circumstances, it would be hypocritical to hold it against her. Not when he knew _he_ had been the one to back her into a corner, that _he_ had left her with little choice and consequently had only himself to blame for that._

"_Jacob__… he just… he just didn't understand what the big deal was and he… he kept s-saying that you would probably be happy nonetheless and that I should just tell you but… I-I don't know… I…" she continued tremulously, remembering the few conversations she had had with __Jacob__ and how adamant he had been that she told __Edward__ everything, before it all got even more complicated._

She had joked of course, at least at first, about the fact that it was probably a guy thing and that that was why he insisted so much over the fact that _Edward__ had the 'right' to know, that she couldn't make any decision without talking about it with him first, but deep down inside she had well known that it was a good advice he was trying to give her. One she had taken too much time to follow, unfortunately._

"He was right, you know…" as much as it galled him to admit that much, _Edward__ breathed out soothingly nonetheless, smoothing her hair away from her face and favoring her with a small smile that he hoped would reassure her._

"Yeah… but I just kept procrastinating… he never gave up, though… moreover when he saw how indecisive I was about what to do…" she choked out, trembling anew when she noticed the second her words registered on _Edward__'s mind._

"What… what do you mean?" he croaked out himself, fighting the dreadful feeling that suddenly seemed to unfurl in the pit of his stomach.

Whatever it was, he wasn't sure he liked the sound of that ' how indecisive_' she could have been._

"God, I'm so sorry… I should have told you right away… I-I wanted so much for y-you to know…" _Bella__ hiccupped once more, making __Edward__'s anxiety grew another notch._

"_Bella__?" his voice cracked on her name, no matter how hard he tried to keep it steady._

His heart was thundering against his ribcage and he knew it wouldn't be long before he started breaking into a sweat, but there was nothing he could do to control himself.

"That day in my classroom…" _Bella__ started throatily again, taking in a huge gulp of air before she could say more. "… that was one more attempt of __Jacob__ to convince me to talk to you… and he did… m-maybe not at first… but the whole way home… I kept telling myself that he was right… that you would eventually figure out something was going on… I mean, it wasn't as if I could have hidden it indefinitely… but…"_

"I didn't come home… at least not until late…" _Edward__ cut her off and said dejectedly, cursing himself once more for his own stupidity._

So many things, so many misunderstandings could have been avoided if he hadn't been such a damned coward and had just gone home directly.

If he had confronted her right away, she would have explained herself and she would have told him about the baby that same night and all would have been cleared out before it got out of hands.

How stupid he had been and how much time he had wasted!

Even now he still remembered _Jacob__'s words to her: '_You didn't mean for this to happen, but it did… no one is really responsible… you'll just have to make sure he understands that…_', '_you_ have_ to tell Edward… it's not fair to him… it's not fair to hide the truth from him, you know that…'_ He had thought then that Jacob was talking about telling him that she was having an affair, that she and __Jacob__ had been together. _

_He had thought he was talking about __the two of them__ when he was trying to convince his wife to be honest with him and just tell him that she had been expecting his child. A child _he_ had somehow managed to make her think he wouldn't want. The cruel irony of it all was that he had hated __Jacob__ for being there and telling her what she should do or not, when he had only been trying to help her, help _them_._

"And you didn't sleep in our bed…" _Bella__ added, recalling the morning after and how she had found out he had slept on the couch instead. "I know why now… but then… it just didn't make any sense… I mean, no matter what could happen between us, it had never gotten that far… and then you were saying that you were leaving for God knew how long… and… god, I needed you… I just… I knew we couldn't go on like that… I knew I had to tell you and just face the consequences…" __Edward__ heard her explain and he cringed visibly, as he remembered just how mean he had been to her when she had tried to talk to him._

God, the things he had said to her, even now he couldn't believe he had dared talk to her in such a way. She had needed him and he had let her down once more and for what? What had he gained by treating her so callously and with so little respect? Nothing. Nothing at all!

"But I didn't listen… oh, god… _Bella__, I'm so sorry…" he knew he could tell her so a million times and it would still not be enough._

Crushing her to him, he swore nonetheless that he would make it up to her somehow, that he would find a way, and that he would never, ever give her any reason to fear coming and talking to him, for whatever it could be.

"I didn't understand why you were so angry then… and I don't know… when you left… I started wondering if maybe somehow you knew and that was why… but I just… I d-didn't see how you could… and then I just… I kept telling myself that if you didn't know yet then, if I told you… it would only make it worse between us… instead of getting us closer, it would just drive us further apart and I would lose you… I c-couldn't lose you, E-_Edward__…" she all but wailed as she clung to him, and for a few seconds __Edward__ regretted having started this conversation, if only to spare her this pain and anguish, even when he also knew that they both needed to go through this if they wanted to move forward, without any baggage holding them back._

"You wouldn't have, sweetheart… you wouldn't have…" he vowed fervently, despite the fact that it had very nearly happened.

But it had only been because he hadn't gotten all the facts. If he had only known then the real reason behind her behavior the few weeks prior to that day in her classroom, if he had known what that_ had been about as well or known about __Kate__'s treachery later on, he would have definitely done things differently and nothing could have made him leave her side._

All in all it had all been a matter of circumstances, one they had let drag them into a vicious circle: _Bella__ had gotten pregnant and had not dared telling him because she had been sure he would hate her for it, and in reaction had kept her distance so he wouldn't suspect a thing. __Edward__ had thought she was having an affair with __Jacob__ and recalling how distant she had been for a while had only reinforced his theory. Then __Kate__ had entered the picture as well, and __Edward__'s behavior that was only a consequence of what he thought was true, had finished to convince __Bella__ as well that he had been the one cheating on her._

Talk about fucking things up big time. And to say that all of that could have never happened at all if they had just communicated, instead of hiding behind their fears.

"I know that now…" _Bella__ uttered, trying to concentrate on the way __Edward__'s fingers were softly stroking her back in the hope to relax her some, and not on how much it still hurt inside._

He kept on until it seemed that her breathing was again more regular, but when he pulled slightly away from her and regarded her with a broken expression on his face, she almost wished she never had to leave the safe cocoon of his arms… and that she never had to destroy his illusions either.

"_Bella__, wha-what… what happened to o-our b-baby?" as much as it cost him to have to ask, he didn't think he could wait any longer to know, not when he could see just how affected __Bella__ still was._

He knew there were only two possibilities, only two answers to that question, and from where he stood, none seemed more appealing than the other, but he needed her to say it, he needed to hear the truth once and for all.

He wasn't sure what would tear him more apart anyway. Learning that _Bella__ could have decided to voluntarily terminate her pregnancy, even when there was no way he could even really resent her for that, when he had done nothing to let her think he would be happy about it if she kept the baby, or even if she had only done it later when she believed that he had abandoned her, abandoned the family he had already had with her for another woman… or hearing her say that she had had no control over what had happened to their baby._

He couldn't ignore the fact that _Bella__ indeed looked 'guilty', but he just didn't know what to make of that yet._

"After you left, I could barely keep it together… but I tried… for Janelle's sake… I knew I couldn't just fall apart… and so I-I ignored the signs…" she whimpered out at the memories of how hard it had been to keep the smile on her face that day and those that followed, if only to not alert their daughter that something was wrong.

How hard it had been to pretend that she was not dying inside after their fight and after having seen how he had looked at her, like the simple thought of her disgusted him and there was nothing between them anymore.

She had been carrying his child, and despite everything it entailed, she had wanted him to know, she had wanted to tell him and see him reacting as happily as he had, years before, when she had told him about Janelle, even when part of her had been convinced that there would be none of that this time.

Little had she known then that, in a few hours, there wouldn't be anything to say anymore anyway.

"What signs?" _Edward__ barely rasped out, trying to recall any event, anything about that time that could answer his question before she could, because suddenly he wasn't so sure he had what it would take to actually hear what he now knew was coming._

"For the last few days… I-I had been having cramps… and they just seemed to have amplified that day… I just… I just chalked it up to being stressed out… more than normal…" looking at him when he looked so lost and seemed to be begging her to stop this nightmare was probably one of the hardest things _Bella__ had ever done, but she knew she had no choice. She had gotten too far to stop now. "I remember… I-I remember barely sleeping that night… so after having taken Janelle to school… I came back and lied down for a while… and when I woke up… when I-I…"_

"What?" _Edward__ urged her on when she stopped there, tears welling up in his own eyes when __Bella__ broke down again._

"I-I guess I knew… I knew something wasn't right as soon as I did… I-I just… I didn't want to b-believe it… I c-couldn't believe it…" he could barely understand what she was saying with the way she was crying again, but in his heart he already knew what it meant.

"What happened, love?" he sobbed out, even though the answer was clearly written all over her face.

He just knew now what she was going to say before she even said it, yet as prepared as he thought he was for that, never would he have thought it could still hurt so much.

"I-I didn't… I couldn't even m-make it to the bathroom before I realized that I-I was bleeding… and that it was… i-it was too late…"

"Oh, god…" _Edward__ moaned out, but __Bella__ seemed to be in some kind of trance now and it seemed like she hadn't even heard him, her voice cracking even more as she kept telling him what she had been through all those months ago, and if she was certainly not aware of what she was doing, the more she talked, the more she broke his heart._

"You weren't there and I didn't know who to call so… I-I called _Jacob__ since… since he already knew… and he took me to the hospital but… it was too l-late…" by the time she finished her sentence, __Bella__ was crying so hard it felt as if her insides were being shred into pieces and __Edward__ didn't know what else to do beside momentarily forgetting about his own pain and cradling her close, while he did his best to not burst into tears himself just yet._

He remembered that time all too well. He remembered when he had called a few days after having left her, with no idea of when he would be back, and how Janelle had told him that 'uncle Jacob was there because mommy was sick_'. He had been so close, holed up in Jasper's apartment, consumed by his pain and jealousy, when he could have been with her._

God, he could have been with her in a matter of minutes.

Of course, there were probably a dozen times _Bella__ could have told him about her miscarriage afterwards, too, and she knew he would have comforted her then. She had even thought she finally would, after that last time they had made love, just before __Kate__ had knocked on their door with her lies, but once she had thought that __Edward__ planned to give __Kate__ what he had refused her, what _she_ had had at her fingertips during a brief instant but had lost in the end, she hadn't been able to think about anything but the tremendous pain that had consumed her for weeks, months even thereafter. There hadn't seemed to be any point in telling him anyway after that, it wouldn't have done any good to either of them. Not in the situation they were in at the time at least._

"Shh, shh… don't cry…" Edward whispered urgently, aware that it wouldn't help, but at a loss for words for the moment.

What exactly was he supposed to say to her anyway? He didn't know how to soothe her pain, because at that instant he was feeling it just as vividly, as intensely and just didn't know how to make it go away.

And it wasn't only because he now knew that he had lost a child he hadn't even suspected the existence until a few minutes ago, but mostly because it was amplified a million times since he realized that he had not been by her side during the most traumatic experience a woman could go through, leaving another man that as much as he could have wanted to, could have never brought her the comfort and support that her own husband could have, should_ have, because as supportive and considerate as __Jacob__ could have been, __Edward__ knew there was no way __Jacob__ could have really understood, or shared what she was going through. He couldn't have felt it in his bones like Edward knew he would have himself, like he _did_ now._

"I l-lost our baby, E-_Edward__ … I-I lost it…" she wailed into his ear and __Edward__ had a hard time just holding her as her body shook almost violently in his embrace._

"Shh, sweetheart… i-it's okay… it's gonna be o-okay…" he promised as he closed his eyes to ward off the rebellious tears that tried to escape despite his efforts and he rocked her gently, one of his trembling hands massaging her scalp while the other ran up and down her spine.

"It was m-my fault… I'm sorry, _Edward__… I'm so sorry…" __Bella__ whimpered next, hugging __Edward__ for dear life, like she was afraid he would really be repulsed and push her away, once he would understand that she was responsible for their baby's death._

"Oh, no, god, _Bella__… what are you saying?... no, it was _not_ your fault… it wasn't…" __Edward__ had a hard time prying her arms away from around his neck, but he needed her to see that not for a second had it even crossed his mind that it could have been her fault._

That was the most ludicrous thing he could have ever heard in fact. It hurt like hell, there was no denying that, but nothing could have prevented this from happening, he knew that. For whatever reasons, this was meant to be as well.

"Yes… yes, it was… you… you don't understand… for a moment… just a short moment… I… God… I was so scared of what it would do to us… to our m-marriage… I was so scared of losing you that I-I… god, I wished it away… I-I wished it hadn't happened then… and then, it was just… it was gone… it's my fault, _Edward__… I'm sorry… I a-am so sorry…" she clung to the hands that were now framing her face again, like she was begging for some forgiveness __Edward__ knew she didn't need to receive, at least not from him._

It was so clear to him that she had yet to forgive herself_ for those maybe misplaced thoughts she could have had back then. But he didn't care how many times she could have actually told herself that it would have been better if she hadn't gotten pregnant at that moment, he didn't even care if she had, if only for a fleeting moment, indeed considered the possibility of an abortion, __Edward__ knew her and he absolutely knew that she would have never done anything to hurt their baby in the end, no matter what she could have thought. No more than her being overjoyed that it had actually happened could have changed anything to what was meant to occur._

"Baby, look at me…" he cajoled as she looked anywhere but at his eyes, as if she felt suddenly unworthy of the love and understanding she knew, deep down, she would still find there. "How can you say that?... of course it wasn't your fault… miscarriages…" he had to stop to swallow past the huge lump in his throat for a few seconds and wish away the images that assailed his mind all of a sudden. Images of _Bella__ waking up in their bed or laying on the bathroom floor, _alone_, in a pool of blood, with no one to hold her hand and tell her that everything would be alright. Now was really not the moment to lose it. __Bella__ needed him and he would be damned if he weren't there for her this time. "… miscarriages are horrible, I know... but they happen and there wasn't a thing you could have done to prevent it…"_

"No, maybe I could have… m-maybe I could… have done s-something_… maybe I didn't take enough care of myself… I don't…" __Bella__ went on nonetheless, almost frantically, giving __Edward__ the impression that she still needed to understand what _she_ could have done wrong, still needed to blame someone for something that was otherwise not explicable._

In her mind, she had to have done something to have her baby taken away from her, before she could have even really felt it growing and living in her womb. Before she could have even held it and loved it. Before she could have even shared the joy of the miracle they had created with its father.

"_Bella__, please… don't blame yourself, none of it was your fault…" __Edward__ murmured achingly, like he had somehow read her mind and knew exactly what she was thinking. What she had convinced herself of for months now apparently. And more than anything else ever could, it tore his heart to pieces to realize the hell she had been through because of it. "It happened… and it's not f-fair, I know… but there was nothing you could have done… no one could… and, god, __Bella__… _I_ don't blame you either, if that's what you're thinking… I could never blame you… I-I don't…" __Edward__ swore, but only understood how close to the truth he actually was when he saw __Bella__'s face contort in pain seconds before she sagged almost in relief against him and then she started to cry in earnest, like the dam had broken and it was all too much._

"Shh… let it all go… it's over now… let it go…" _Edward__ suspected that there was a lot of things she had kept locked up inside and was only now grieving over and he let her cry to her heart's content, offering the little support he knew he could._

"It hurts… I-I don't know why it still hurts so much…" _Bella__ lamented hoarsely, the words muffled since she kept her face hiding into the crook of his neck, but __Edward__ heard her all the same and could only concur._

It hurt worse than anything he could have imagined. In fact, even knowing from experience how much that_ hurt, at this point he would rather be shot a thousand times than to have to go through this, or see __Bella__ suffer this way._

"Shh… I know, sweetie… but I'm here now… you're not alone…" he murmured soothingly, gathering her even closer and wishing he could absorb her into his body and keep her there, protected, forever.

Seconds turned into minutes, but neither of them was in any hurry to relinquish their hold on the other, at least until _Edward__ groaned out shamefully, "God, __Bella__… I should have been there for you… I should..."_

_Edward__ didn't even know how __Bella__ could still have kept breathing after having had to face this. How she could have been strong enough to not fall completely apart, or even just enough to hide her misery so well from him that he hadn't even suspected a thing during the time they had still been living together. And he didn't doubt that she had been miserable and all but dying inside. He just had to look at her now and see how deep that wound still cut, or to feel himself now how suffocating and heartbreaking that feeling was, to know._

"No, no… you didn't know, _Edward__…" __Bella__ shook her head and for the first time since she had started bawling her eyes out, she met his gaze willingly, hoping he would see that she didn't blame him more than he apparently could her._

They had both made mistakes, they had both done and said things that had brought them to the point where neither was able to speak to the other, and it would have no meaning to start pointing fingers now, or see who was more at fault. 

"_Just to think of all you had to go through… all alone… god, __Bella__, I'm so sorry…" __Edward__ pursued nonetheless, ignoring the fact that she was trying to stop his protests the only way she knew how._

Repetitively, desperately, she pressed her lips to his, only pulling away to repeat, "You're here now, _Edward__… you're here…" And that was all that seemed to matter at the moment._

"You won't ever be alone again, _Bella__… I promise you… never again…" he whispered to her, the words getting lost into her mouth as her kisses became more and more urgent._

Tears mingling and locked into each other's embrace, they tumbled back into the bed, seeking comfort into each other now that the last secret that could have kept them apart was out in the open.

They didn't need to say anything else at the moment, their regrets, their sorrow, their pain, were the same and they knew there was only one thing that could somehow make them ebb away, if it couldn't make them disappear entirely. Maybe they would never go away completely, maybe they would always be there, buried in the deepest part of their hearts and they would never be able to forget all that had happened, but at least now they were together, and _Bella__ was still convinced, like she had been at one point before she lost faith in them, that together they would be able to go through this. Together they could do _anything_._

_Edward__ only hesitated briefly then when __Bella__ worked on getting rid of the sheet that had tangled around their bodies, his need to lose himself into her as strong as hers to see him complete her again, but one whisper-soft plea from __Bella__ was enough to brush away that single, brief instant of doubt he could have had. Whatever else that still needed to be said, would have to wait, he rea__liz__ed as he let himself sink into her depths and made them momentarily forget that there were some things you probably could never repair completely, no matter how hard you were willing to try._

Sometimes the best way to heal anyway wasn't to analyze everything or even to try to find solutions, but to let completely go and only look forward.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

__

A few hours later, _Bella__ woke up to the feel of cold sheets beside her once more, just like she had the week before._

This time however, she wasn't seized by a near panic attack, knowing instantly that _Edward __couldn't have gone too far._

Muffled sounds coming from the bathroom reached her ears and for a moment she thought that maybe Janelle had woken up, crossed the door that joined their rooms and woken up _Edward__ so he could take her to the bathroom._

It had happened a few nights back already, so it wouldn't have surprised her, yet when after having donned on one of _Edward__'s shirts she reached the other room door and opened it to offer her help, it wasn't the sight of her daughter and husband that greeted her._

Sitting on the bathroom floor only in his boxers, knees drawn to his chest and fingers gripping his hair so hard it looked like he was trying to pull it all out, was _Edward__, alone, and __Bella__'s heart about stopped when she heard the sound of his painful sobbing._

"Oh, _Edward__ …" she whimpered, a hand coming to cover her mouth before she could let out the pained cry that threatened to escape her own lips, but then the next second she was dropping to her knees and reaching out to him. "E-__Edward__."_

He looked up suddenly, like he had only just realized that he wasn't alone any longer and for a second _Bella__ expected him to pull away from her, but much to her surprise he did just the opposite._

His crying seemed to grow even harsher as his head fell to her lap and he held her for dear life, nearly crushing her bones with the force of his embrace.

She didn't feel like letting him know about that, or even telling him to ease up a little however, because she knew it wouldn't do any good. Whatever could have caused _Edward__ to break down like he had, and she had a pretty good idea of what that could be for having gone through the same thing herself months ago, she knew that he just needed to let it all out and cry until he couldn't cry anymore._

"It hurts…" _Edward__ sobbed out, his face buried against her stomach, and __Bella__ didn't need him to say more to have her earlier thoughts confirmed._

While he had been there trying to comfort her and calm her down earlier, he had not let himself think too much and grieve over what he had lost himself and _Bella__ knew that just because he hadn't carried their child in his womb, or felt its life slip through him without being able to do anything to stop it, it didn't mean that it hurt any less._

_Edward__ hadn't even wanted to think about how much it did in fact, until he had woken up about half an hour ago._

For a few minutes all he had done was lie there, looking at _Bella__ while she slept peacefully._

Watching her then, no one would have ever guessed all she had been through, the tragedy she had had to face all on her own. No one would have ever guessed all she had had to carry on her own shoulders, alone, because her more than lousy husband had not seen a thing and been by her side when he should have.

He had tried to push that thought away, knowing that he would probably lose it if he didn't, but the more he had stared at her, the less he had been able to think about anything but that.

It had started slow, with a stinging in his eyes and the trembling of his hands, but when he had felt the lump of tears clog his throat, he had known that he couldn't stay lying there any longer, not if he didn't want to wake up _Bella__._

In the confines of the bathroom, it seemed that it had all come crashing down on him. Not only the fact that he had lost a baby, too, though that was already enough to make him feel like his heart was breaking into a million pieces every time he let himself think about it, but that he had failed the one person he had sworn long ago that he would always be there to protect and support.

Regardless of what their relationship had been back then, he should have known that something was wrong, he should have somehow felt_ it. And he would have, if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own pity-party and wondering how she could have gone behind his back with __Jacob__ Black, when it wasn't even true._

He had always been able to read _Bella__ so easily in the past, how could he have suddenly been so wrong about her? How could he have not seen how much she was hurting and not sensed her despair? How could he have been so _blind_ to everything that was going on around him?_

And it wasn't just about her. It was about everything in fact. From the way he had treated her or how he had taken her for granted and how that had impacted on their marriage, nearly ruining everything between them, to the way he had let _Kate__ worm her way into their lives without realizing what chaos she would bring with her._

No matter how sure he could have been about his actions at the time, _Edward__ could only curse himself when he thought of all the time he had wasted with __Bella__ and his family. The efforts he had put in bringing them everything they could wish for materially just couldn't make up for all he had deprived both her and Janelle of emotionally. He knew that now more than ever. No matter how he tried to justify it back then, or if it stemmed from a good intention, it just wasn't worth it in the end, not when he saw just how much they had lost because of that. Or what more they could have, if he hadn't woken up in time._

The damage _Kate__ herself had caused had fortunately been reparable to some extent, but __Edward__ didn't think he would ever forgive himself for all the hurt and pain she had caused __Bella__ because of him._

He had already thought so the first time, when he had first heard the truth, but if he had not even thought about this right away when _Bella__ had told him about her miscarriage, it was made even worse now that he understood just how heart-wrenching it could have been for __Bella__ to hear __Kate__ insinuate they were planning on having a baby, whether that had been revealed to be true or not in the end, when __Bella__ herself had lost theirs not so long ago._

Thinking of the torture it must have been made him cry even harder. He just couldn't fathom just how much that could have devastated her. It was little wonder so if she had not wanted to have anything to do with him anymore after _Kate__ had come to her and if she had asked him to leave their house._

Even now, he didn't know how she could bear to be this close to him, how she could touch him so lovingly, and still be trying to comfort him. He had probably never felt so unworthy of her or of her love as he felt at that instant, and yet at the same time he knew he would just die if he were to ever lose her. Worthy or not, he just couldn't live without her.

"I'm sorry, _Bella__… I am so s-sorry…" he moaned out when her soothing caresses and promises that everything would be alright were eventually enough to calm him some down._

_Bella__ had of course predicted that sooner or later __Edward__ would break down, they were both alike after all and they often felt and reacted intensely about things, but even suspecting the proportion it could take, it still tore her heart to pieces to see him like this._

"Shh, _Edward__… it's alright…" she replied softly, not really understanding what exactly he was sorry for, since she had been convinced he was crying over their baby mainly and he was surely not responsible for what had happened to it._

No more than she was. 

_Of course she had been told before that there wasn't a thing she could have done, that it had been meant to happen even if it made no sense, not only by __Jacob__ but by the doctors she had seen when she had miscarried, and also later on when she had returned and seen her gynecologist for a check-up, but it just hadn't had the same impact as hearing __Edward__ saying it could have, even if he wasn't the one with all the medical knowledge here._

She guessed that even when she had been scared to tell him, she had still needed to hear that he indeed didn't blame her for what had happened and knew that it hadn't been her fault. It was probably the only way she could convince herself that it was true in fact, as stupid as that could look.

"No… no, it's not… how could it be?" _Edward__ whimpered and __Bella__ felt her own throat clog with tears when he suddenly sat up and their eyes met. Whatever it was __Edward__ was thinking about, it was obviously tearing him apart. "Why… how… how come you don't hate me?" he rasped out a mere second later, the expression on his face caught between incomprehension and what looked like anger._

"_Edward__…" __Bella__ barely started before he interrupted her vehemently._

"I hate myself..." he whispered fiercely, making _Bella__ wince as she understood that the anger she had discerned in his gaze seconds ago had been directed at himself. "You have no idea how much I can hate myself… I hurt you, over and over… I-I took you for granted instead… instead of simply loving you like I should have… and I abandoned you, __Bella__… I-I abandoned you when you needed me the most… how can _you_ not hate me?"_

She should, for everything he had done to her, she should, there was no doubt in his mind, yet when he looked at her all he could see was the pure, unadulterated love she felt for him and made no effort to hide now.

He had deserted her on many, many occasions and had hurt her even more times and yet she still loved him. How was that even possible?

"_Edward__ Cullen, I _love_ you… so much… I have since I was a teenage girl and nothing… nothing could change that… I could never hate you…" she confirmed what he already knew in his heart, repeating almost to the letter what he had told her himself mere hours ago, but if the words brought comfort to his tortured soul, he knew it was still not enough. It couldn't be._

"Forgive me, please… _Bella__, please, baby… c-can you forgive m-me?" he begged brokenly, knowing that he surely didn't deserve it, no more than he probably deserved her in fact, but as selfish as it could be, he needed her to say she would nonetheless._

He wasn't sure he would be able to go on, if she couldn't find it in herself to forgive him after the way he had behaved.

"Only if you_ forgive me, too…" __Bella__ whispered emotionally herself. _

_They were both just as much to blame. Maybe not for the same things, but they both shared equal part of responsibility in what they had let their marriage become. And they both needed just as much to make peace with the past and their own deeds._

"For what?" _Edward__ protested right away. "There's nothing to forgive you for… you didn't…" …_ do anything I didn't force you to_. Those were the words that would have surely passed his lips in the next second, but __Bella__ didn't want to hear them._

"For not talking to you… for not coming to you when I should have… for not trusting_ you when __Kate__ came to me…" she cut him off and confessed in a trembling murmur, cupping his face when he immediately started to argue once more._

"I'm guilty of just the same thing…"

"This is why this needs to stop… we_ have to stop… I don't want to hurt anymore… I don't want _you_ to hurt either… and I don't want to blame you for everything when it's not myself I blame… I love you, __Edward__… I love you and I just want… I only want to be with you…" she breathed out shakily, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Tears that __Edward__ was quick to brush away._

"You have me, _Bella__… I was always yours… always…" his lips caressed her face, his fingers stroked her hair, but it was the way he was looking at her with his heart and a million promises in his eyes that made her melt in his arms._

"That's all that matters now, _Edward__… you and me…" __Bella__ hoarsely said as she held him as strongly as was humanly possible without hurting him._

"You and me…" _Edward__ repeated just as huskily, his own arms encircling her waist with just as much strength she mustered herself._

It would probably take him time before he could look at himself without self-disgust or self-loathing, but he guessed _Bella__ was right, they wouldn't go anywhere if he didn't at least make the effort to try and push that aside. He couldn't undo what he had done or change his past behavior anyway. He couldn't just magically erase the pain he had caused her, voluntarily or not, no more than he could make her forget about all the times he should have been with her, but actually hadn't. He could only promise himself that it wouldn't happen again and that he wouldn't ever give her any reason to be disappointed with him again. And if he had to spend the rest of his life making it up to her, he would do just that. And gladly._

"I love you so damned much… so, so much…" he murmured to her a few minutes later when they parted and their misty gazes met again.

"I know…" she cradled his cheek as she exhaled the words and couldn't help the tremulous smile that crept upon her lips when he naturally leant into the soft caress.

She knew she didn't need to tell him that she loved him as well again, because he could feel it in her touch, just like he could in the way she gazed amorously down at him.

"_Bella__… about the baby… and what I said… what I suggested… m-maybe we should wait some mo-…" he started after a moment, but couldn't help wincing when he felt __Bella__ go rigid right away._

"What? Why… I thought… no, _Edward__… are you… you don't…" she cut him off and stammered incoherently before he could say more, the thought that he could have changed his mind again because of what he had learned tonight being more than what she thought she could bear._

"No, wait… hear me out, please… I'm not changing my mind, okay… I am not, trust me…" he countered quickly, not wanting her to panic, and wanting even less to hurt her again. "I want that with you… there's probably nothing I want more than giving Janelle a little brother or sister in fact…" he continued with a shaky smile when he saw her relax some. "But I just… when we started this conversation, there was a lot of things I didn't know… and I don't want you to feel pressured or anything… I want a baby with you now and I'll still want it in six months, nine, or how much time it will take us to get there… I just want you_ to really think about it… I want _you_ to be ready for this just like I am… and when you are… when you are, sweetness… all you'll have to do is come to me and say the words and I'll be there, more than willing and ready to do my part, okay…" he finished in a long sigh, before frowning when he realized how what he had just said could sound._

"Okay, maybe that didn't come out as I intended it to…" he grimaced slightly, but _Bella__ was quick to reassure him, even if she had no idea how she still managed to speak._

"No… no, I g-get it…" she croaked out, hoping she wouldn't start bawling like a baby again.

She got what he was saying loud and clear. _Edward__ was giving her the opportunity to make her own choices this time. And not because he was feeling guilty and was trying to somehow compensate for how he had deprived her of that choice before. But because he understood her pain. Because he knew what she had been through and knew that maybe she wasn't ready yet, after the trauma that losing the child she had carried even if only for a short while had caused._

The truth was that until that second, _Bella__ had not even asked herself if she was _really_ ready to take that next step again, knowing now that miscarriages didn't just happen to others, but that it could happen to her, too, _again_, and knowing how much that could destroy you._

That hadn't even been a possibility until a week ago anyway, since she had been sure that the chances of a reconciliation with _Edward__ had been slim if not nonexistent, and she had known that she would never be able to share such a huge commitment with anyone if it weren't him._

Now it was possible again however, but she realized, just like _Edward__ already had apparently, that she just couldn't throw herself head first into this without thinking it some first. And not because she wasn't sure she wanted another baby, because she did, with every fiber of her being, but she had to be sure she wanted it _now_. Had to be sure she _could_ have it now. Without maybe regretting it afterwards if it had been too soon, or without holding on, all through her new pregnancy, to the fear that history would repeat itself and she would end up even more heartbroken than she had the first time._

She knew that for that, she needed to get over what had happened and never look back. The real question was, had she already reached that stage?

With today for evidence, _Edward__ seemed to think she hadn't, but time would give her the answer. __Bella__ was convinced in fact that she would _know_ when she would be ready if she weren't yet, that she would _feel_ it. In the meantime so, she would do as __Edward__ had asked, and give herself the opportunity to think about it._

"Okay… good…" _Edward__ just whispered in answer and kissed her softly when he saw that she seemed to agree with him._

The last thing he wanted was for her to think that just because he_ could want another child now, _she_ had to bid to his wishing right away. Never again would he force her to do something she didn't want to or wasn't ready for, or stop her from getting exactly what she did want or need when she would ask for it._

"We're gonna be okay now, _Edward__." __Bella__ said then with such conviction that __Edward__ would have believed her right away if he hadn't already been sure of that himself._

No matter what they decided to do now, they were together, _Edward__ and __Bella__, and like she had said earlier, that was all that mattered._

"More than okay… we're gonna be forever…" _Edward__ promised as he stood up and after having scooped her up into his arms, moved them both back to the warmth of the bed they should probably never have left._

Laying her down, he joined her right away, spooning behind her and holding her close, a soft sigh escaping his lips when she laced her fingers with his over the place where, hopefully, one day not too far away, would rest their baby, and then he couldn't help smiling contentedly when he heard _Bella__'s own quiet whisper._

"Forever_."_

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

**Merely two weeks later.**

_Leaning against the doorframe, he smiled softly at the sight of his two girls lying on Janelle's bed, obviously engrossed in 'The Little Mermaid' once more it seemed._

They hadn't noticed him yet apparently and he drank his fill of them, like he often did when they weren't looking. They were beautiful and sometimes he still couldn't believe himself that they were really his. That they were his family and that there was nothing standing between him and the happiness he knew he could only find when they were by his side.

For the first time in a very long time, _Edward__ could say that he was deliriously happy in fact. He and __Bella__ had been living in marital bliss again for a few weeks now, he could see Janelle every day, every single minute even if he wanted, and all seemed to be for the best in the best of all possible worlds. At this point he really didn't know what more he could ask for._

Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true. Maybe there was still one thing, but he knew it would come soon enough.

"Daddy!" a joyful cry pulled him out of his reverie and the smile on his face only grew wider, as he eventually stepped fully into Janelle's room and sat down on the other side of his daughter.

His little girl was quick to throw her arms around his neck and plant a sound kiss on his cheek, happy to see that he had come back home before she could get to sleep.

"Hey, sweetie." He hugged her back just as tightly, before he let her lie back down again and concentrated on his gorgeous wife.

He had only been out a couple of hours with Jasper, but they seemed like an eternity already. Moreover when he had had to go to San Francisco yesterday and had only gotten back in the middle of the afternoon.

He had taken longer trips out in the past of course, but this had actually been the first 'overnight' one he had been forced to go to since they had hired _Samuel__._

Most of their clients had had no problem with the change and had accepted the idea of a new partner easily, maybe because they knew that _Edward__ would keep supervising everything and that the twenty-seven years old new lawyer would only be the intermediary in most of their cases, but a few had been more comfortable with __Edward__ being the one staying on theirs nonetheless, at least until they could have some time to get to know __Sam__ and see how good he was at his job himself._

_Edward__ had understood their reticence of course, but that hadn't stopped him from cringing just at the thought of having to face __Bella__ and telling her that he would have to make that trip._

Her reaction had surprised him however. When he had almost expected her to tell him that he was already breaking his promise to her when it hadn't even been a month, she had smiled that beautiful smile of hers, kissed him tenderly and told him that she was going to miss him dearly but that it was okay. That she wasn't naïve and had known from the start that he wouldn't be able to avoid all_ the trips, no matter how much he could actually want it, but what was even more important, that she knew without the shadow of a doubt that he wouldn't go, if he could do otherwise and _that_ was enough for her._

_Edward__ had probably never been more conscious of just how lucky he was, or been more grateful to have her as his wife than at that instant._

As he looked at her now, he felt nearly overwhelmed again, the thought of how much he could love this woman causing a huge lump of emotion to burn his throat and before he could stop himself, he was leaning over Janelle and grabbing the back of _Bella__'s neck and bringing her to him, his lips taking hers in a tender, but full of promises of more for later, kiss._

When they pulled apart they were both dazed, but _Edward__ couldn't help but notice the way __Bella__ was looking at him, the way she was biting down on her bottom lip. Like she had some secret she couldn't wait to share with him._

"What?" he breathed out against her sweet lips, since he had yet to let go of her.

"Hmmn-nothing." She whispered with a teasing smile, before pulling away before he could kiss her again, more because her daughter was making strange noises between them, than because she actually didn't want him to continue.

"What?" _Edward__ looked down and couldn't help laughing when he saw Janelle with her hands on her eyes, like the sight of her parents kissing wasn't something she was willing to see._

"Ugh… you're a'ways kissing mommy now!" she said like it was a bad thing, but _Edward__ knew by her tone that she was smiling behind those hands nonetheless. It wasn't like she wasn't getting used to it by now anyway, they had been that way since her daddy had come back home._

"Are we jealous?" he asked teasingly but before Janelle could answer, he was tickling her and blowing raspberry kisses on her stomach like he had done a million times when she had been younger.

The sound of her rich laughter filled the room instantly and _Bella__ herself couldn't help giggling at the sight of the two persons she loved the most in the world looking so happy together._

"S-Stop… daddy, stoooop!" Janelle hiccupped between fits of laughter, but _Edward__ kept attacking her relentlessly, until __Bella__ thought she had to intervene if she didn't want Janelle to pee her pajama bottoms._

"_Edward__, stop… don't get her all hyper!" she advised, sure that it would take her an eternity to get her to sleep if he didn't, and that wasn't exactly something she wanted to see happen._

She had plans for _Edward__ and her tonight and the sooner she got Janelle to sleep, the sooner they could get started on those. She had missed him yesterday night, even if they had talked for hours into the phone to make the separation a little easier, and if the way he had kissed her a few minutes ago was any indication, so had he._

"Don't get her… oh, you're telling me what to do?... now you're gonna get it, too!" _Edward__ groaned a mere second before he launched for her as well and had both Janelle and her writhing under him._

For interminable minutes, he tortured them both, relishing in the joyful sounds they emitted and warding off their ineffectual attempts at retaliation, until they all moved around so much on the small bed that _Edward__ found himself on top of __Bella__, barely aware that Janelle had crawled over his back herself once he was between the legs of his barely clothed wife. She was only wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, so it was little wonder if that was the only thing he could think about all of a sudden. _

"_Edward__…" __Bella__ panted out as she noticed the way he had pinned her hands over her head and was suddenly looking at her, like he was only seconds away from tearing her clothes off and taking her right there, his daughter's presence apparently forgotten._

"Yeah?" he gulped, his eyes fixed on her lips as he licked his suddenly dry ones.

God, it had not even been forty-eight hours since he had last made love to her, but it felt like weeks already.

"Jay…" she whispered, her own eyes darting to their fortunately still oblivious daughter.

"Oh-kay…" _Edward__ coughed and suddenly said a little too cheerfully to be honest. "Playtime is over… I need to take a shower and you, young girl, you really need to sleep." he announced then as he let Janelle slide from his back and laid her down again._

"Why?" Janelle protested weakly, but _Edward__ knew that there was no way he could answer that honestly anyway._

'Because I can't wait to have your mother all to myself and do things to her I hope you won't hear about before a very, very long time!'_, wasn't exactly something you wanted to tell your child, however true that could be._

"It's late for you, baby… and you still have school tomorrow." _Bella__ replied sweetly before he could himself and smoothed her hair away tenderly._

They both saw her pout, clearly not too happy with the answer, but she didn't argue more than that once _Edward__ placed a soft kiss on her forehead and Bella took back the book they had been reading prior to __Edward__'s arrival._

"Goodnight, sweetheart!" _Edward__ whispered then as he pulled the sheet around her body and smiled lovingly at her._

" 'Night daddy!" Janelle answered back and waved at him as he made his way out of the room, but not without throwing another smoldering look at _Bella__ first._

Slowly he made his way to his own bedroom and couldn't help grinning when the second he crossed the door, he noticed the not lit yet candles that _Bella__ had arranged all around the room._

Apparently his dear little wife had the same ideas in mind for tonight he had had himself since the second he had left her embrace the previous day. He just couldn't wait of course and hoped that it wouldn't take _Bella__ long to lull their daughter into sleep, but like always when he was too eager about something, something else just had to come and ruin it apparently._

The shrilling sound of the phone interrupted his march to the bathroom and that shower he had planned to take before _Bella__ joined him and he was quick to pick it up before it could ring for too long._

His sister had always had the worst timing, so he wasn't more surprised than that to see that it was her, but he was pleased to hear her voice nonetheless, since it had been close to two weeks since she had called him last.

The last time, she had been nearly in panic because she had tried to call him a dozen of times at 'her' apartment and just couldn't join him. Of course she had tried to call her parents then and when they hadn't picked up either after a few times, she had been convinced that if something hadn't happened to him, it had to have been to them then.

_Edward__ had had to calm her down then, which was no small fit once Rosalie got all worked up, but in the end it was his answer to her question about where he had been and how came that whenever she called her apartment, and that no matter the hour or even if it were in the middle of the night he was never there, that did it._

Once he had told her that he was back home and that everything was alright again with _Bella__, he had had to explain about almost everything as well, and she had been as speechless as his own parents had been when they had been told._

Rosalie had just been a little more direct than they had been themselves, once she had found her voice again and had told him that she would have never guessed that her brother was such an idiot and that she hoped that it would not only teach him not to be so trusting in the future, but not to take his wife for granted ever again as well. 

_She had just been a little more vehement than that of course, but since it wasn't like he could dispute her words, he had let her have it with him before confirming to her that there was no way he would let anything, or anyone, come between him and his family ever again, once she had finally stopped._

All in all, Rosalie had been ecstatic of course to know about their reconciliation and just like her parents before her, she had said that she couldn't wait to see them all together again.

The occasion was going to present itself in a few weeks anyway since it would be their father's birthday and that was actually why she was calling again tonight.

Apparently, while she had already warned her agent that she would be going back to the States for at least a week, had booked a flight months in advance so she would be sure to not miss the day and had even already decided which clothes she would take and which she would leave behind because they wouldn't be appropriate for Los Angeles weather, and so basically was as ready as she would ever be, his dear sister just couldn't find her father the right gift.

_Edward__ wanted to laugh as he heard her ramble about the fact that she just couldn't give him another sweater or shirt, no matter how expensive they could be, or another pair of cuff links, but that she was at a loss for ideas since her father already had everything he could wish for._

He found amazing that his sister, who was usually so 'in control' could now freak out because of a simple birthday present, but he knew better than to tell her that or make fun of her, or he knew he wouldn't hear the end of it.

As it was, and without wanting to sound too rude, the only thing he really wanted was to hang up and go back to what he was about to do before the phone had crashed his plans.

Unfortunately, it took him still another twenty minutes or so before he could convince Rosalie that anything she would get him in the end would please their father, because it would be coming from her, just like when they were kids and she thought that what she had made herself wouldn't be good enough for him. 

_Edward__ was sure anyway that their father would be happy just with the fact that she was flying home and would be there for the occasion, and wouldn't really care even if she didn't bring him anything. Seeing his daughter again after several months would be enough of a present already._

Though he was able to hang up after a while, _Edward__ had been of absolute no help to his sister apparently, but he wasn't more worried than that for her. He was sure she would find something in the end. She always did anyway._

She had made him waste some precious time however and so, as soon as he had said his goodbye, he hurried to the bathroom, not even bothering with a change of clothes for the night, since he knew well he wouldn't have the need for them for a while. He had absolutely no problem picturing himself getting out of the bathroom clad in a simple towel and waiting for _Bella__ lying half-naked on their bed._

Getting rid of the clothes he still wore in a matter of seconds, he couldn't help expelling an appreciative sigh when he finally stepped under the warm water, his hands almost automatically going to rest on the tile wall in front of him, so he could feel it pound against his skin.

He felt himself relax instantly and savored the feeling a few minutes, before he reached for the soap with the intention to start washing, so he could get out of there as fast as possible. He barely had it in his hands however, when he heard the shower glass-door being opened and he nearly dropped it when he saw _Bella__, in all her glorious nudity, entering and closing it softly behind her._

"Hey!" she breathed huskily as she stepped close to him and plastered her front to his back, the water sluicing on her own body and making her sigh just as contentedly as he had himself minutes ago.

"Hi!" he murmured back just as hoarsely, closing his eyes briefly when her arms came to wrap around his naked form and her lips connected with his wet skin. "Janelle?" he asked softly, though he suspected that she had to have fallen asleep, or _Bella__ wouldn't be in there with him._

"Out like a light…" she confirmed as she kept dropping gentle kisses all over his back while her hands caressed the large expanse of his muscled chest.

One of them trailed up his throat after a while and when she reached his face, she turned it to her, her mouth covering his the second they could meet.

For long seconds, they kissed, lips meshing with lips, tongue chasing tongue, but when _Edward__ tried to bring her around so he could show her just how much he had missed her, she pulled away and made a tsking sound, before telling him to give her the soap._

Working a rich lather between her hands, she slowly ran her fingers up and down his back, a small smile grazing her lips when she caressed his backside a moment later and she heard _Edward__ groan her name._

He reached behind him to stop her hands, knowing that there wouldn't be much of her teasing he would be able to take today, but he made the mistake of bringing them around to his chest instead, and no sooner had he done so that _Bella__ was untangling their fingers and letting hers drift down to his groin, making __Edward__ suck in a audible breath when they closed around the solid erection he had developed in a matter of seconds upon her naked entrance._

Guess playtime was over for them, too, and it was time for more 'serious' business.

"_Bella__…" her name passed his lips in a guttural growl, his knees nearly giving out from under him when she slowly started to stroke his thick length._

"Yes?" she panted out from behind him, the fingers of her other hand dancing over his chest again while she stood on her tiptoes and nipped at the tender skin of his neck.

"God, baby…" he moaned out, going half crazy with the things she could do to him with a simple touch. With simple words.

"I want you so much, _Edward__…" she whispered, picking up her motions, and she smiled once more when she felt his hips accompany her moves, making him slide faster into her hand._

Slowly but surely, she took him to the brim of insanity and _Edward__ nearly cried out in frustration when she abruptly stopped, only seconds before he could reach completion._

"_Bella__, please…" he groaned out before he could stop himself, his hand gripping at hers so she would not leave his length just yet, only to have __Bella__'s fingers close around the base of it, effectively delaying his release._

"Patience… I don't want to waste your precious seed…" _Bella__ declared softly, making __Edward__ snort a chuckle at her choice of words._

"Aren't we just so romantic today?" he teased her, but then couldn't help but gasp when _Bella__ squeezed his flesh a little harder than could be good for him at this point._

"You know I am…" _Bella__ replied, before she started to leave moist kisses over his shoulder then his collarbone and neck, when she came around him at last._

Savoring the feeling for a few seconds, _Edward__ was just about to close his mouth over hers as she looked up, when she breathed against his lips, "I want you to come inside me!"_

The sexy tone of her voice would have already been enough to make him lose his head, but it was the way she pressed against him and rubbed her wet core against him that very nearly killed him on the spot.

With a primal groan, he cupped her face and crashed his lips to hers and _Bella__ had barely time to react that she was pressed hard against the shower wall behind her._

She whimpered huskily when after what seemed an eternity spent devouring her mouth, _Edward__ released it just long enough to go and attack her neck as at the same time, one of his hands drifted between her slightly parted legs._

"You want me here?" he growled low into her ear, deft fingers teasingly caressing her nether lips.

"Yes, so much!" _Bella__ croaked out and then couldn't help crying out in pleasure when two of his digits entered her burning core._

Steadily, he pumped them into her and _Edward__ was actually convinced he wouldn't stop till he would have her stumbling over the edge, until he felt her tongue trace the rim of his ear and her next sentence made him freeze on the spot._

"I stopped taking the pill yesterday, _Edward__."_

_Bella__ knew the instant her words and their implication registered in his mind, because it was the exact moment his fingers stopped moving and suddenly poised at her entrance, while his mouth stopped sucking avidly at her flesh, and she just couldn't wait to see his face._

Like in slow motion, it lifted up from the crook of her neck and _Bella__ had to bite her bottom lip not to cry, when she saw the look he wore and discerned the fine sheen of moistness in his eyes._

"Y-You did?" he rasped out and then cupped her cheek when she nodded. "So that means…" he couldn't help adding, although coupled with the few sentences he had heard coming from her mouth just minutes ago but hadn't taken the time to analyze more than that at the time, he knew exactly what it meant.

I don't want to waste your precious seed.

I want you to come inside me.

I stopped taking the pill.__

No, it really didn't take a rocket scientist to put it all together and figure that one out.

"Hmm-huh…" _Bella__ just moaned, but __Edward__ could see just how serious she was just by the look on her face._

"Are you sure, love?... because we d-don't have…" he stuttered and insisted nonetheless, not wanting _Bella__ to think that he had expected her to decide so soon._

The truth was that _Bella__ had not consciously planned to stop taking the pill until the night before. Since that day at the hotel in Florida, she and __Edward__ had not talked again about the prospect of having another baby, though the thought had never been too far from both their minds to be honest, and __Bella__ had kept taking it normally so._

Yesterday however, she had been just ready to when she had realized that it was her last tablet disk and then, she had smiled as she had thought she wouldn't have to rush to the pharmacy to get her new prescription this time, like she had many times in the past, because she wouldn't need it anymore for a while.

The way she was thinking, like it was already a done deal, hadn't struck her until the next second, and then she couldn't help grinning at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

She had looked at herself then and for the first time in a very long time, she had felt like everything was alright with her, like everything was finally perfect again in her life.

Nonetheless, after deciding to not even take the one of that day, she had taken the time to think about it and consider if this was really the right moment, if that was really what she wanted, but before she could figure it out, the phone had rung in the bedroom and after having dropped her pills on the bathroom counter, she had rushed to it, almost sure that it would be _Edward__._

She had picked it up on the fourth ring and seen that she had indeed been right and when he had answered with a soft 'Hey, *baby*'_ to her _'hello'_, that was when, as crazy as it seemed, she had convinced herself that she would be making the right decision._

Of course if she had never wanted to pressure herself in any way, she hadn't thought either that it would take her so little time to figure it all out and come to a decision, but she guessed she partially owed that to _Edward__ and how understanding and caring he had been ever since he had found out the truth. To that and probably to the fact that it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders since she had shared her secret, her _burden_, with him._

Everything had seemed easier for her since he knew. She felt like she could breathe again, without feeling like something was constantly pressing against her chest and she guessed that ultimately she had only been waiting for a sign.

She had gotten two in the end, as far as she was concerned, and she wouldn't ignore them.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life…" _Bella__ stated as her arms wound around __Edward__'s neck and she brought him closer to her, until his forehead was touching hers and her eyes looking directly into his. "I want a baby… I want _your_ baby, __Edward__!"she breathed out then and even if that wasn't the most manly way to react, __Edward__ had to fight tears off at her declaration._

"I love you… I love you more than my own life… you know that, right?" he asked breathlessly, before he pulled her flush to him and hugged her for dear life.

"I know… and I love you just as much…" _Bella__ declared herself and let him hold her tightly for a few precious seconds before she pulled away._

"So… we're really doing this…" _Edward__ murmured, as his fingers trailed gently over her face before tucking wet locks of hair behind her ears, his eyes roaming hungrily over her features as he was struck once more with how gorgeous his wife was, and how any other child that would look like her would be beautiful as well and as lucky as Janelle had been._

He hoped_ their next child would look like her, too, in fact, because there was no doubt in his mind that then it could only be perfect._

"We're doing this." _Bella__ confirmed softly, before a teasing smile grazed her lips. "As soon as you get started at least."_

The brilliant but wicked smile _Edward__ gave her in return caused her heart to skip a few beats, but the small cry she was ready to emit when he cradled her face in a firm grip died on his lips when they slanted over hers._

The way he kissed her then expressed even better than words could what he was feeling at that instant and _Bella__ kissed him back with just as much fierceness and passion he could show himself._

They both knew that the chances she would get pregnant on their first try were slim, but when _Edward__ slid into her and started to pump in and out of her, she knew he would give her his best in any case. He always did._

How long it took them to accomplish that task wasn't the most important anyway, they would get there eventually, but in the meantime there was no saying they would certainly enjoy the 'trying' part. 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Bella smiled again now as she recalled how much 'fun' they had actually had since that moment in the shower.

It seemed unbelievable to her that it had only been four days ago, but even more incredible was how many times they had actually made love since then.

Many times since that instant, she had wondered what exactly could have gone through Edward's mind once she had told him she had stopped taking the pill and if he had told himself that he would not stop until he would have gotten her pregnant, because he surely seemed intent on taking advantage of every opportunity they could have to be together, whether it was for a quickie like what he apparently planned for now, or for a full session of mind-blowing lovemaking.

Her whole body still felt sore from the day before and yet, Bella knew she would certainly not mind in the slightest if Edward were to tell her that he wanted to take the day off and spend it in bed with her again.

Bella still giggled now as she remembered how he had woken her up on Sunday morning and planted a tray full of food on her lap when she had sat up, still drowsy from sleep, with a simple kiss and an '_eat, you're gonna need your strength_'.

When she had looked at him quizzically and asked 'for what' exactly she would need it, he had just looked at her with a mischievous grin that would have already been enough to make her want to jump him then and there, and yet it was nothing compared with how she felt when he had told her exactly why.

"_We're having a marathon of sex!_" he had announced huskily and Bella had nearly melted on the spot.

Even now, she didn't know how she had still gotten the presence of mind to ask him how that would be possible with Janelle in the house, but there was no need to say that she had all but wolfed down her breakfast when Edward had confessed that he had called his parents and they had already picked her up half an hour ago and that she wouldn't be back until much later in the afternoon.

Bella had probably never eaten so fast in her whole life in fact, but she didn't regret it because the countless times Edward had loved her that day were definitely worth the few she had nearly choked on the food in her haste to finish.

There was no saying either that as pleasurable as it always was to make love with Edward, it was made all the more exiting to know the reason behind their eagerness and need to join over and over again now. Janelle had not been planned after all, no more than the child they had unfortunately lost, and so it gave a whole new dimension to their lovemaking, knowing that any time they joined they could be creating a new life.

"Something funny?" Edward demanded huskily when he heard her, never taking his lips from the column of her throat however, which not surprisingly caused Bella's giggles to turn into low moans of appreciation when she felt his breath stir against her skin as he talked.

"N-No…" the monosyllabic word barely managed to pass her lips before she had to bite on her bottom one to prevent a groan, as Edward cupped her breasts through her shirt and she felt his thumbs tease the hard peaks her nipples had become. "E Edward!"

"You're way overdressed for what I have in mind!" he whispered not long after and a mere second after having planted a mind-boggling kiss on her trembling lips, she felt him unbutton her shirt, three buttons coming undone before he was apparently satisfied with his work.

Bella was about to protest about the wisdom of such a move and suggest that maybe it would be in their best interest to keep as many clothes on as they could, just in case they were indeed interrupted for whatever reason, when his mouth closed around one turgid nub through her lace bra and she instantly lost her trail of thoughts.

Nothing seemed to matter suddenly, but the wicked things her dear husband apparently planned to do to her, which was most likely why it took them both several seconds to become aware of the commotion that was now taking place outside of the large office that till then hid them from the rest of the world.

Edward's hands were actually on their way to free Bella from the only garment that was still preventing him from getting exactly what he desired at the moment, when the door of his office flew open and startled them both.

Well, apparently water sports weren't for them, but neither was office fun, because if Lauren knew better than to enter without Edward calling her in first, obviously someone else had no qualms doing so.

"I'm telling you, you can't enter there!" Lauren's impatient voice drifted to their ears, but it was the irritated one that nearly covered it and the person that spoke almost at the same time that really drew their attention to the door.

"Edward… what the…" Kate's grand entrance was stopped short by the scene in front of her however, the sight of Edward and Bella practically glued to each other leaving her momentarily gaping at them.

"Oh, man… on top of being a manipulative conniving bitch, she's just got to have a bad timing, too!" Edward, not caring if she could hear him or not, groaned and rolled his eyes before stepping away from Bella, who as quickly and discreetly as she could, tried to rearrange her shirt. It was just on the tip of his tongue to ask if she didn't see he was trying to get laid, even if clearly that would be a little hard now, considering that the sight of her was enough to make him deflate faster than anything else in his life ever had, but he refrained himself at the last second, knowing that it would certainly not help the situation. "_Kate_… you remember my wife, right?" he greeted instead, eyes fixed on the woman he wished he would never have to see again after today, her name leaving a sour aftertaste in his mouth.

Edward had known of course that sooner or later, he would have to come face to face with her, although he had let himself momentarily forget it would have to be so soon once he had been caught up in the passion Bella always evoked in him, but still, even thinking he was prepared for such confrontation, the sight of her galled him and made him want to bring up the copious breakfast he had taken only hours ago.

Even three weeks after having discovered the true nature of the woman he had naively for a while considered a friend, he had yet to let his anger up and feared what he would be able to do to her if he didn't manage to get rid of her as quickly as possible. Thoughts of murdering her and pleading momentary madness to get away with it were definitely not too far from his mind at that instant.

Bella herself felt bile rise in her throat at the sight of the woman she had thought she had to compete with for a while, but only because the mere thought of what she was capable of made her sick. Looking at her now, she had to wonder how she could have really been so stupid as to feel threatened by her.

No matter what he could have thought of her at the time, or what he could have felt for her, now that Bella could look at things with a clear head, she knew that Edward would have never fallen for someone like Kate. And not only because she and Kate could be as different as night and day and therefore Edward would have never chosen her unless he clearly wanted Bella's own polar opposite, but mainly because Kate Denali just reeked fakeness from every pore of her being and that was just not something Edward could ever go for.

Oh, yes, she should have really known better, Bella found herself thinking again, but she guessed that now was not the moment to express her endless regrets once more.

"Edward… I'm sorry… she just… I tried…" Lauren stammered uncomfortably, not wanting Edward to think that she had not tried to stop who she knew could only be his ex-secretary from entering, but the other woman had all but pushed her out of the way and she had been powerless to do anything else in time.

She wasn't sure she would have been able to really do anything anyway, considering how unstable that woman had looked when she had found her at what used to be her seat mere minutes after she had arrived herself, and Lauren wasn't sure she wanted to mess with her either, giving what she had heard about her ever since she had been hired.

Much to her relief however, Edward seemed to understand exactly what had happened and how she felt.

"It's okay, Lauren… I'll handle it…" he told her quite calmly, although his gaze never left the curly blonde who had yet to move from the entrance, and understanding that he would let her know if he needed her for anything else, Lauren batted a discreet retreat, all too glad to have the opportunity to get out of there herself.

She might not have known Edward long, but there was no doubt in her mind that she didn't want to be anywhere near him if he exploded. And something told her that it wouldn't take much for that to happen. She could practically see smoke pouring out of his ears, a stark contrast to what she had been used to see until now.

Caught off guard despite the circumstances by his sardonic greeting, Kate for her part didn't really pay attention to what was happening around her, or between Edward and Lauren, and she found the way to still wonder, even if that thought lasted only for a split second, if Edward and Bella were back together and if her own deception had been discovered, before she realized how stupid it actually was.

Edward's wife wouldn't be there and they wouldn't have looked so cozy upon her entrance, if they weren't and Edward would certainly not be looking at her like he currently was, if he didn't already, _finally_ know. Not even when he had been at odds with his wife had he looked as angry.

Still, even knowing she was screwed, Kate chose to act as indifferently as she could, like it didn't matter that she had probably lost any chance she could have had with him and wasn't scared shitless at the thought of what would happen to her now.

"Whatever!" she answered almost disdainfully long after the question had been asked, before addressing what had made her all but barge into his office only seconds ago. "What is that woman doing at my desk?"

"_Her_ desk now!... you don't work here anymore!" Edward's answer was right to the point and impossible to misunderstand, and yet even knowing that that was the only way he could react after what she had done, Kate still managed to look astonished to hear him speak such final words.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" she uttered with a calmness she certainly didn't feel, her heart hammering in her chest at what it could mean.

If he were serious, she wouldn't just be losing her job, she would lose the chance to see Edward every day, and that was absolutely not tolerable.

"You heard me… you're fired, Miss Denali… now your things are out there… take them and get of here!" Edward informed her more clearly, since she obviously didn't get it and it was the impersonal form with which he addressed her, like they had merely been an employer and his employee all those years they had been working together, that eventually made Kate lose some of her composure.

"No… no, you can't… you can't just fire me like that!" she replied, doing her best to not wince at how unsteady her voice sounded even to her.

Not even when she had found that Lauren… Whatever… sitting on her office chair had that thought really entered her mind. She had _refused_ to let it enter her mind, and now she had to wonder how she could have not seen this coming.

There had been signs of course, like the fact that all the things she had left at Edward's apartment had been back at hers when she had come back from her vacation. Or that quite thick envelope that had looked official, probably her letter of dismissal, but that she had thought she would have time to open later and had forgotten about in the end. Or even worse, the fact that when she had gone to see Edward mere hours after her return, he hadn't answered and the key he had let her borrow for the time she had been staying with him had not seemed to work anymore.

Yes, there had been signs alright but she had chosen to ignore them all.

She had preferred to believe that Edward had returned her things out of courtesy, thinking that maybe she would need them, or maybe even just because she had indeed pushed him for too much too soon and that he had not been ready for what she wanted herself just yet and that was his way of answering to what had happened between them before she left, but even if it had indeed been _that,_ she had been ready to deal with it, she was a patient woman after all. She had also preferred to think that something had been wrong with the locks of Edward's apartment and that that was why she couldn't get in.

What she had not been prepared to deal with, and still wasn't truthfully, was the fact that she had been wrong about everything, and that Edward had not only gone back to his wife while she had been away, but that that bastard had probably changed the locks _voluntarily_ as well, or that he had without a doubt discovered all about her lies. Lies to his wife, lies about the flood. Lies she had pulled out every time she had felt the need to, in fact.

Yet even knowing how deceptive she had been, or knowing that she had only herself to blame for what was about to happen to her, what she could really not help wondering about now however, was what bullshit Bella could have served him herself to have Edward acting like a damned sick puppy in love again?

"Oh, I can… and I _am_… and be glad that's all I do to you!" Edward retorted through gritted teeth, the fury blazing in his eyes being enough for Kate to want to cower and do as he had asked.

Getting out of there before he completely lost his temper seemed like a good idea, but Kate wasn't one to go down without a fight and moreover in front of the one she considered her worst enemy.

She could recognize defeat when she saw it and she knew that pleading with Edward to reconsider, or even giving him reason to understand why she had done what she had wouldn't do her any good or get her anywhere, but if all was said and done that didn't mean that she had to leave without retaliating and inflicting another major blow.

She knew just where to hurt when it came to Edward's wife, and if she could obviously not play on Edward's emotions anymore, she could definitely do so on hers.

"Oh, I see… is this how it's gonna be, huh?... I'm going away and that's it?... you're ditching the mistress for the wife again now?" even as she said the words, she knew perfectly well that he would deny them right away, but she was sure of the damage they could do nonetheless.

All she had to do was to shatter the little trust and faith Bella had to have in Edward again, and she wouldn't win either. If she couldn't have Edward, that didn't mean that Bella would either. After all, they couldn't have been together again for more than three weeks, since Kate knew they had definitely not been before she had left, therefore their relationship was still fragile and she probably wouldn't have any problem implanting doubts in Bella's mind again. How close could they really have become again in such a short time anyway, moreover with their communication issues?

They could be married alright, but they had never known how to talk to each other apparently, or they would have solved many of their problems a long time ago if that were the case, and she doubted much had changed on that plane.

And even if it had anyway, she wasn't taking any risks and if she had to lose everything that mattered to her, she would definitely do her best to make sure that Isabella Cullen knew how that felt as well.

"Are you on crack?" Edward spat out incredulously, that having probably been the last thing he would have thought would be coming out of Kate's mouth.

He knew it was only meant to make Bella doubt him, but as desperate as Kate could feel considering what he was telling her, never in a million years did he think she could be so vicious as to try something like that with him present.

He darted a quick glance at Bella, who hadn't spoken a word until then and had just let him handle the situation, and the look of horror on her face was enough to prove to him that she was just as stunned, if not more even, as he was himself, and that she couldn't quite believe either that Kate could be capable of so much.

"Look, it doesn't matter… I mean the sex was great and all, but if you want to call it quits that's fine by me…" Kate seemed to momentarily gain confidence from Bella's completely horrified expression and acting like, had she and Edward really been lovers, she understood his decision, she went on but looked right at Bella as she spoke now. "If she's too stupid to take you back, that's her problem… but at least be honest with the girl… don't you think she deserves to know what kind of man she's married to?"

"What the fuck are you about?" Edward didn't even know what to answer to such allegations and almost right away turned to Bella, making sure she wouldn't believe anything that would come out of Kate's mouth being more important at the moment than to even bother correcting or contradicting her directly. "Bella, don't listen to her… you know I wouldn't touch her for anything in the world!"

"That's not how you've always felt!" Kate insisted, before Bella could even breathe a word to assure Edward that her lack of reaction had nothing to do with any doubt she could have concerning Kate's affirmation, but more with the incredible nerve she was realizing that girl possessed.

It was simply unbelievable that she could dare try pulling something like that now after everything she had already done, and even more when it basically went against everything she had tried to make her believe until then.

Months ago she was singing another tune, spewing left and right about the great love she and Edward felt for each other, a love so strong in fact that he was ready to leave his family, his daughter, so that they could be together and create a family of their own, and here she was now, acting like what they had supposedly shared had just been a mere adventure.

Bella could only wonder then if Kate was really so demented and perturbed that she didn't even realize how much she was contradicting herself, but what was sure was that she didn't offer a very stable picture.

"You're completely nuts!" Edward only voiced out loud what Bella herself was thinking, before he added with even more disgust. "Look at you… do you really think I'd want to have anything to do with you?... I… you're… god, I'd rather fuck an entire flock of… _goats_ in heat before doing you!"

The words were spat out with such vehemence that they almost instantly made Kate gasp aloud, but Bella's reaction was even more spontaneous.

Not having _ever_ heard Edward speak to anyone in such a way, she burst out laughing before she could stop herself, even if that was probably the last thing that was expected of her in such a situation.

"You son of a… s-son of a…" Kate spluttered, unable to comprehend that he could have dared say such a thing to her and humiliate her in such a way, not matter what _she_ could have insinuated.

He had never been downright mean to her, or to anyone for that matter as far as she knew, and that he could now, with her, when his own wife was witnessing it was even more degrading.

It didn't even come to her mind that she had brought it upon herself and that she only had herself to blame for it, or that considering what she had done herself she had no right to be offended. She was just too infuriated for that.

"What? Suddenly you don't have anything to say anymore?" Edward questioned, anger still obvious in his posture and tone, Kate taking a prudent step back when he advanced menacingly towards her and growled. "Get out of here, Kate, before I do something I definitely won't regret."

The threat was clear, yet it didn't stop Kate from responding with just as much forcefulness.

"You think you're going to get me out of your life so easily?" she cried out, thinking that he had another thing coming if he thought she was just going to let him be and go live the happy life with his wife, while _she_ was miserable.

"Well, you've got only yourself to blame for that, haven't you?" Edward shouted back, advancing a little more upon her with each word he spoke. "I trusted you, Kate… I confided in you… I thought of you as a friend… and you… you very nearly destroyed my life… you nearly destroyed my family… the most… _precious_… thing in my life… god, I should just kill you for what you did to me… what you did to _Bella_… what you put us through all those months…"

By the time he had finished his speech, Edward had Kate nearly backed into the wall and she would have probably hit it, if it hadn't been for Bella stopping him.

"Edward!" she hadn't wanted to intervene, knowing that even more than herself, Edward needed to get that out, but she didn't think she had ever seen him as mad as he currently was and knew she just had to say something, before it degenerated even more.

No one wanted to see Kate get what she deserved and pay for what she had done more than she did herself, but she was afraid to see what Edward would do to her if she let him.

"She didn't deserve you…" Kate yelled all of a sudden, pushing Edward back with a strength he hadn't been expecting and then started verbally attacking Bella, because that seemed like the only thing to do now. "She cheated on you, that disgusting bitch… and you… you stupid pathetic fool… you just went crawling back to her with your fucking tail between your legs… you couldn't just let go… no, of course not, you just…"

"Shut up, Kate… _shut up_ or I swear…" Edward roared out, reaching for Kate's neck, but was once more stopped by Bella before he could close his hand around it and attempt to squeeze the life out of her, like he so wanted to. It was certainly for the best, because with the way he was feeling at the moment, there was no saying how much he could indeed hurt her before he was able to control himself and stop. "What did I ever do to you, huh?... what the hell did I ever do to you beside befriending you?"

It was a question that didn't really need an answer, and yet he couldn't stop himself from asking it, still not understanding how he could have been so wrong about her, how she could have betrayed him in such a way when all he had ever done was doing his best to make her feel at ease in the firm, and do all he could so that they could have the best relationship possible, considering that they had to work closely every day.

"I didn't want your _fucking_ friendship!" Kate spewed out, looking like she had finally lost it and wasn't in control of her reactions any longer. Gone was her apparently calm or indifferent façade, she looked near hysterics now. "Don't you get it… I didn't give a damn about your _friendship_… all I wanted was you… I-I wanted you to love me like I…"

"Love you?... _love_ you, Kate?" Edward interrupted her before she could say more and scoffed with disgust, staring at her like she had indeed lost her freaking mind, or said the most preposterous thing in the world. "I wouldn't have loved _you,_ if you had been the very last woman on Earth!"

"Oh, but you could love that cheating slut…" Kate accused furiously, shooting daggers at Bella who stepped just in front of Edward as she heard her and wondered if Kate really had a death wish.

"God, I'm really gonna…" Edward was only one step from wrecking Kate's neck and ending her life now, and Bella had to exert almost superhuman strength to prevent him from reaching for her and killing the other woman.

"Edward, it's okay… don't listen to her…" she soothed gently and cupped his face to make him focus on her instead of Kate, his gaze instantly softening when it settled on her. "I love you and that's all that matters… nothing she says can change that… don't stoop to her level… she's not worth it…" she whispered to calm him some down, but Kate heard her nonetheless and couldn't help from responding venomously.

"Oh, that's sweet and all… but we'll see how you feel when he kicks you down the curb… because believe me, sooner or later… he will… you're not so special, don't you think… and if it's not for me, it will be for some-…"

Her rage had no limit now, but she wasn't counting on Bella finding the only way that could make her close her nasty mouth.

"Oh, just _shut up_ already!" she growled out and before she could stop herself, or consider it twice, she punched Kate square in the face, the other girl stumbling backward with the force of the impact.

So much for not stooping to her level, huh? Well, there went that. But damn, if it didn't feel good to get back at Kate in some way for once. At last.

"Wow, catfight!" Edward cheered before he could think about it twice himself, only realizing what he was doing when he saw Kate recuperate from the shock and bring her fingers to her now split bottom lip, before she moved to Bella with the clear intention to retaliate.

"You bitch!... you're gonna regret this…" she threatened as she lifted up her hand and tried to slap Bella back, only to have Edward grab her wrist in a vice grip and stop her half way.

"Just go ahead, Kate… try and touch my wife and _you_ won't live long enough to regret it!" he promised in a deadly tone that left no doubt about the fact that that was the very last thing she should think about trying to do, if she wanted to keep breathing and then, he pushed her away like the mere fact of touching her was making him sick. "Now for the last time, get out of here before I forget my manners and hit a woman… or _you_, whatever the hell you're supposed to be!"

"I'm gonna sue you for this… you'll pay for this!" ignoring what Edward had just said, Kate pointed a threatening finger to Bella and shouted almost at the top of her lungs, proving once more just how deranged she really could be.

"Sure, bring it on, _Blondie_… I already have the best lawyer in the world… you know where to find me… we'll be waiting for you!" Bella replied back, a mocking smile on her lips that showed just how _not_ scared she was and only seemed to infuriate Kate more.

In fact she was just about to throw herself at Bella and pull her hair out when two security guards erupted into the room and assessing the situation, addressed Edward.

"Is everything okay, Mr. Cullen?" one of them asked, though he already knew something big might have gone on in there for Edward's new secretary to call them.

"It will be in a second!" Edward answered and all but pushed Kate into their arms. "I want you to escort this woman out of the building… throw her out if you want… send her flying even if that's what it takes… I don't fucking care… I just want her out of my sight, or I won't be held responsible for my actions!" he ordered them and cast one last hateful glance at Kate before gathering Bella close to him, her presence near him being what he needed to calm down.

"Sure, sir!" the other security guard answered and immediately grabbed hold of Kate, with the firm intention to do just as he had been asked.

"You can't do this… you can't… _Edward_!" Kate cried out desperately when she seemed to realize that this was really the end of it, and she vainly tried to fight against the two imposing men holding her now. "Let me go, you idiots… just…"

"Oh, and Kate… I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a recommendation… once I'm done with you… you won't be able to find a job in this city anyway, so I'd start packing if I were you…" he suggested as she was led to the door by the two security guards, gesticulating and trying to hit everywhere she could.

"I'm gonna sue you, Edward... and you'll regret the day you messed with me…" Kate shouted, turning around to glare hatefully at him, like that could have any effect on him at this point.

"Like my wife said… bring it on, _sugar_… I'll be waiting…" he called out as she was taken away screaming and kicking, obviously not more affected than that by her promises to make his life a living hell.

Whatever other threats she made went unheard, as she was led further and further away from them, and it was only once she was completely out of sight and Lauren had closed the door behind herself again, that Edward saw Bella wince for the first time.

"Dammit, it _hurts_!" she grumbled as she shook her hand in the air, only realizing now that punching Kate's face had maybe not been the wisest thing she could have done.

As glad as she was to see Kate shutting up at last, it wasn't worth a broken hand, though since she could still move it quite easily, she had probably been lucky this time.

"Come here, my heroine…" Edward immediately drew her to him and made her step between his legs while he himself leant against his desk.

Gently then, he cradled her hand between his and placed soothing kisses on her knuckles, only mildly relieved when he noticed they were not bruised or anything, and he only stopped when he was sure that his attention had gotten the desire effect.

"Better?" he asked a moment later when Bella was all but ready to melt into his arms.

"Yeah." she breathed out, having most likely forgotten all about her pain the second she had felt his lips on her fingers. She could easily forget about anything else when he was this close to her.

"Beside that, you're okay?" Edward couldn't help asking as his thumb tenderly traced her cheekbone, slightly concerned that she could have been upset nonetheless by what Kate had insinuated.

Even if he was convinced that she hadn't believed a word of what that psycho had said, he didn't doubt that it had to have brought back not so pleasant memories at least.

"Yeah, but… it's not over, is it?... I mean, do you think she's really going to sue us?" Bella wondered aloud and Edward noticed that as sure of herself as she had seemed to be earlier, she obviously was still somewhat afraid about the repercussions that firing Kate could have.

"She's probably going to try and pull something like that, yeah… I don't see her giving up so easily, but like I said, if it happens, we'll be ready… and there's no way I'll let her win, you know that, so I don't want you to worry about it!" he stated confidently, sure that if they went to trial anyway and Kate appeared anything like she had today, there was no way any judge in their right mind would side with her.

Beside, he knew that as long as Emmett had his back, everything would be alright, and even Jessica had promised she would testify if need be, once she had heard the whole story. Apparently, Emmett's secretary had had her doubts about Kate's sanity herself and learning all she had done had only proven to her that she had been right to think that the girl was really too weird to be honest by moments.

All in all and even despite what had happened today, Edward wasn't more worried than that so. He knew he could take Kate down, if it came to that.

"Okay…" Bella nodded easily, believing him, and more than that, _trusting_ him to do whatever had to be done if anything happened. She knew that Edward would rather die than letting Kate hurting their family ever again. "I just… I can't believe she was spurting all those stupidities." she added as an afterthought, even if she definitely didn't want to dwell on it too much.

More than anything, she just wanted Kate Denali to be out of their lives and forget that she had even existed.

"I can't believe you _punched_ her!" Edward chuckled despite himself, still having a hard time picturing that his sweet little wife could have done that, even if he had indeed witnessed it himself, or definitely thought that it had actually been well deserved.

He would have done it himself in fact, if he hadn't been sure his mother would have had a heart attack and died on the spot, if she ever heard about it afterwards. She would have probably not understood where she had gone wrong with him, for him to resort to such methods.

"Well, she was getting on my nerves!" Bella had the grace to blush at that moment, admitting herself that her reaction had been quite out of character and not exactly something that should have normally been expected of her.

"Too bad she didn't have any opportunity to fight back… I would have loved to see you shredding her to pieces!" Edward joked, not wanting to embarrass her more than she obviously was by commenting more seriously on it.

"Oh, you would have, wouldn't you?" Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, thinking that it was certainly one of those guys' things.

"What?... any man would love to see his girl fighting for him!" Edward confirmed her thoughts, the look on his face almost screaming how 'hot' he actually thought that could be.

"Yeah… and the next thing, what? You're gonna make me wear a nice combat outfit, take me for a walk and ask me to go and punch every girl that as much as look for too long at you?" she snorted sarcastically, but then almost laughed aloud when she caught the glint in Edward's eyes as she said the words.

"Awww… you would do that for me?" he looked cute enough to eat as he asked her, but though his tone was still quite teasing, she couldn't help answering more seriously.

"I would do _anything_ for you!" she confessed as she cradled his face between her hands and punctuated the statement with a soft kiss.

"So would I, baby… so would I!" Edward replied just as earnestly, as he sensed the change in her and kissed her as well, only maybe more insistently.

"Well, anyway… where were we, before we were so rudely interrupted?" Bella asked him quite breathlessly when they parted, her arms coming to wrap around his neck, as if to show him that even if she had protested weakly in the beginning, she wouldn't mind getting more of what he had apparently been ready to give earlier.

"Yeah, right there seems quite a good place to go back to…" he gave her a lopsided grin that would have made her melt into a pool of goo on the floor if he hadn't been holding her tightly, and Bella knew he would be a willing and eager participant in whatever she could suggest herself at this point.

"I'm sure we could do even better, though…" she toyed with the buttons of his shirt and fluttered her eyelashes at him, and if it hadn't even crossed his mind to resist her, or deny them what they both obviously wanted, he was lost anyway at that instant.

"Oh, you bet we can…" he grinned widely then and cradled her hips, making Bella gasp when he lifted her up and deposited her on top of his desk again a mere second before he went to the door to lock it this time, so he would be sure that nothing, and no one could interrupt them again.

The predatory look he gave her then as he marched back to her was enough to make Bella's pulse quicken, but when he grabbed her thighs almost roughly and pulled her flush to him before he crashed his lips to hers to kiss her senseless, she really wondered if she would survive the hour or so they still had until his first appointment and all he had in store for her.

She wouldn't complain however, after all they had a baby to make and every opportunity to get a good head start on that 'project' was something she could only approve of and enjoy.

**TBC…**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

AN: Hey, guys, sorry once more for taking so long to come back again, contrary to what I had said, but I've been running up and down for the last two weeks and didn't have time to edit or answer your reviews!

**Flora73**: I'm glad you read it nonetheless, even if I'm sure it wasn't easy. This one should definitely be easier to read, and maybe you'll even forgive me for what I put them through ;) thanks for the review!

**LovelyLovelyLovely**: there's more here about Kate's reaction after she got fired and let's just say, once more, it just proves how unstable she truly is! Thanks for reviewing as well!

**Ariawolf80**: I don't mind the rambling lol on the contrary, it's always interesting to see how people react to what you write… you may be disappointed however, I don't know sh** about lawsuits lol so since I didn't want to write anything inaccurate or that would look completely farfetched, I chose to deal with Kate the easy way lol hope you won't be _too_ disappointed nonetheless! Thanks for reviewing in any case! ;)

**Spannieren**: yeah, for once I like her, too lol and I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks once more for your review!

**JcTypes**: thank you once more for your kind words, they always warm my heart ;) I'm glad you're happy the witch is gone, at least for a while lol hope you'll like this chapter, too! Thanks as well for the nice -and ego-boosting lol- review! ;)

**Bunch2009**: trust me, Bella would have done worse, if I could have made it happen and stay realistic nonetheless lol but yeah, Kate so totally deserved it, and more even! Thanks for the review! ;)

**SerenAngel**: wow, long review, I just loved it lol I'm glad you liked my 'complicated tale', trust me it took a lot of thinking it over first before I started to write it… I just knew I didn't want to reveal everything at the same time, so I literally had a plan of what each chapter would contain and what information I'll be slowly disclosing so you guys would have a better idea of what really happened without having all the facts (does that make sense? lol) I just didn't want it to be a story where it was just a case of who did worse or who cheated on who (I don't think I could ever make Bella or Edward really cheat on the other anyway lol) or something too simple, so yeah, I'm glad you appreciated the effort lol

As for Kate, yeah, she's definitely not all there, that's an understatement! And I actually liked writing that Janelle's scene with both her parents and how she was, even if it was involuntarily, trying to make them see things they obviously were too blind to see through their respective grief! Sometimes kids say the cutest things, don't they? Lol (or they totally embarrass you, too, I would know, I have a nephew and a niece lol)

Well, thanks as well for the long review! ;)

Okay, enough with my ramblings, here goes… enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Bella?"

Silence.

"Bella?... baby, are you alright in there?" Edward tried his best, but he couldn't keep the edge of concern off his voice the longer she took to answer him. "Bella?"

"Yeah… I… yeah, I-I'm fine… just… I'll be out in a second…" despite her reply, it wasn't nearly enough to make Edward feel better, but he was glad nonetheless when he heard her flush the toilet and turn on the tap to probably splash some water over her face.

He hadn't been able to enter the bathroom behind her since she had locked herself in this time, but he had witnessed that same scene enough times in the last week or so to know what was happening in there. And he had heard the way she had heaved and retched in there clearly enough to know that Bella was sick again.

Not long after she had finally spoken to him, he heard the door being unlocked and he did all he could to school his features and at least appear to be smiling, even when he knew he wouldn't be able to really fool her for all that.

"Hey." he whispered softly and stepped close to her, but not enough to make her feel like he was smothering her.

"Hey." she breathed back, her face still lacking color, but at least she didn't look as green as she had when he had seen her rush past him and into the bathroom.

"You're okay?" he asked tentatively, as he brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and tried to get a good look at her.

"I've felt better…" Bella admitted, leaning against his touch without realizing she was doing it, but that was all the encouragement Edward needed himself.

"Come here." Tugging on her hand, he brought her to him and wrapped his strong arms around her, Bella resting her head on his chest the second he embraced her. "Is there anything I could do?"

"I don't think so… but this… you holding me… it definitely helps…" Bella confessed in a breathy murmur, burrowing into his warmth and holding him back just as tightly as he could himself.

"Well, you know you just have to ask… if you want a hug… or anything else…" he told her, his nose nuzzling against her temple, his breath stirring against her skin and making Bella sigh softly.

"I know…" she said as she pulled away slightly and placed a soft kiss on those lips she loved so much. Lips that could undo her with words, just as much as they could with their sweet caresses.

"You're feeling a little warm." Edward noted as he stroked her cheek, a frown marring his brows as he spoke the words.

"I'm fine, Edward… stop worrying…" Bella assured him, stopping his hand and lacing her fingers with his when Edward reached out to feel her forehead as well.

"You know I can't help it…" he conceded with a small smile and a gentle squeeze. "You sure you want to do this?... maybe you should rest…" he added nonetheless, knowing that that was really what she should do, if she wanted to be reasonable, but almost sure that Bella wouldn't follow him on that. Unfortunately.

"Edward… it's Janelle's birthday… we can't cancel this, or even just postpone it… she wouldn't understand!" Bella scolded him and reminded him like he could have forgotten.

Today their daughter was turning six and she was having what was probably the biggest party a little girl her age could wish for and as much as Bella would rather stay in bed all day and rest, like Edward was suggesting, she knew there would be no way she could explain that to her dear daughter and not see her blowing a gasket over it.

No, considering that this was almost the only thing Janelle had been able to think or talk about for the past few weeks, she would definitely not be thrilled if Bella were to tell her they would have to do this some other day, no matter the reason.

"I'm sure she wouldn't… but I'm more worried about you right now… I don't want you to overdo it…" Edward concurred, but that didn't stop him from telling her what was really on his mind at that moment.

"I won't…" Bella promised in hope that it would be enough to appease Edward some since, no matter how much he could protest, they both knew there wouldn't really be any way around this.

"This house is going to look like a zoo soon, Bella … I just…" Edward started nonetheless, but was stopped mid sentence when Bella silenced him with another kiss.

"Yes, it will… I know that… but I can handle it…" she countered, although she didn't bother contradicting him.

Between all of Janelle's little friends, the few parents that would be accompanying them and staying, and their families and own friends, Bella knew that a 'zoo' was definitely not so far from what the reality of having all these people walking around their house would indeed look like.

"And I know you can… you just don't have to, if you don't feel like it…" Edward insisted one last time, ready to go and tell his daughter that they would maybe have to do this tomorrow, or the next day, and call everyone as well to let them know what was going on if he had to.

Bella was his first priority right now, even if he was already trying to think of ways he could somehow make it up to his daughter, if it came to that.

"Edward, I'm just fighting a bug or… whatever… and it's not like I really have to be careful or anything…" the words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself and it would have been hard for Edward to not hear the sadness in her tone, no matter how hard she could try to hide it.

They had been trying for that other baby they wanted both so much for over two months now, but much to their dismay they hadn't been very successful until now and Edward, though he tried not to let it show, was getting more and more worried about how much all this could affect Bella.

A couple of weeks after they had made their decision, Bella had noticed that she had missed her period and though she had only been a few days late, she had been positive that it could only mean she was with child.

Ecstatic about the thought, she had purchased a pregnancy test and she and Edward had been nearly bursting at the seams, while they waited for the few minutes it had taken to know the result. Understandably so, both had been incredibly disappointed when it had shown that Bella was apparently and unfortunately not pregnant yet.

It had been just as hard a few days later when Bella had finally gotten her period and even worse when it had come naturally the next month. Each time she realized that it hadn't happened yet, despite how many effort they clearly put into the task, Bella seemed to get a little more depressed, while Edward himself grew more concerned and with good reason apparently.

About a week ago, when Bella had started getting sick, she had seemed to perk up a little again and they had even gone to buy another test before taking it together, but once more it hadn't had the result they had wished for.

What broke Edward's heart more than anything however had not been to see the single line staring almost mockingly back at him, but to see Bella completely break down because of it.

Before his eyes, she had lost it and cried until it seemed she had no tears left to cry and Edward had honestly not been too far from losing it himself, when he had seen just how much each new deception was hurting Bella.

It would have probably hurt less in fact, if Bella had not been positively convinced that this time was the one. She had been absolutely _sure_ when she had started feeling nauseous in the mornings, that they would have something to celebrate soon. The disappointment and pain she had felt then, once more, when nothing had gone like she had hoped had been too much to bear and she had not been able to hold everything in any longer.

Edward had been there to comfort her of course, just like he was again now, but his sweet reassurances weren't enough to stop Bella's mind from swirling with questions and fear.

"Bella, it will happen, okay..." he cupped her face and breathed out gently, although he was well aware that he would need more to make Bella feel better.

He had basically been telling her the same thing for weeks now, every time Bella brought her fears up. She tried to be as positive as he could be himself most of the time of course, but Edward knew well that she couldn't help wondering if her previous miscarriage hadn't had consequences they hadn't known about until then. Consequences that could maybe now influence on her ability to procreate again.

Edward had tried to tell her that it was ridiculous and reminded her that many women had been able to have kids, even after a miscarriage, or worse, an abortion, but unfortunately it wasn't apparently enough to appease Bella. No more apparently than when he reminded her that they had not been trying long enough yet anyway to lose all hope and get worried.

Edward had even read somewhere that generally it took a woman an average of 5.7 months to get pregnant once she had stopped taking the pill, but when he had joked about that with Bella and told her that statistically they were still far from that mark, she had told him that she had no desire to be a simple 'statistic', what she wanted was a baby, _their_ baby, and seeing that talking about it in such a way only managed to upset her more, he had soon dropped it.

"I know that... it's just... I really thought..." Bella trailed off before she could once more voice out loud how convinced she had been that this time they had indeed succeeded. "... just forget it... it's stupid... I know it will happen... I just need to be more patient..." she finished instead, with more conviction and spirit than she was really feeling.

What she didn't say however was that despite the fact that the last pregnancy test she had taken had turned out being negative as well, she had taken an appointment for a blood test nonetheless and would be going to get the results back in a few hours.

She knew she was most likely just setting herself up for another heartbreak, but at least that way she would know for sure what was really going on with her. After all was it really normal that she was feeling so sick when they were in the middle of summer? Either this test would confirm what she thought, which was to say that she was indeed pregnant but for some reason the pregnancy test had not confirmed it, or she was indeed fighting a bug or whatever what was making her feel like her stomach was upside down every morning really was. In either case, she would know soon.

"It's not stupid..." Edward countered, his thumbs trailing lightly over her cheekbones, the tender smile he gave her being enough for Bella to know that nothing she could ever do, or say, would indeed ever be stupid in his eyes. "... but yes, apparently we're going to have to be more patient... and maybe 'work' on it even harder... which I personally don't mind..." he pursued, as he planted a soft teasing kiss on her now smiling lips.

"I'm sure you don't..." Bella replied, getting rather quickly caught in what had looked like an innocent enough kiss in the beginning, but was quickly turning into more.

"I would show you just how much I _really_ don't, right now, if your parents weren't just down the hall..." he whispered huskily, nuzzling her neck in a way that made Bella's knees all but give out from under her.

"Hmm... save that thought for later tonight..." she moaned out as he nibbled at her skin, seeing herself that now was not the right moment, even if clearly that had never stopped them before.

She just had about a million things to do before everything was ready for Janelle's birthday party and if they started getting carried away now, she was sure they would spend the day in bed and not for the same reasons Edward had wished she would earlier.

"I will!" he said, knowing that she was right and that they should better not start something they probably wouldn't be able to finish.

"I'm going to hold you to that… but right now, I should really go, or I won't be back before most of the guests have arrived." Bella announced after having hugged him as hard as she could.

She needed to go and fetch Alice from the airport and she was already late as it was, considering that she had been on her way just there before she had been seized by a wave of nausea once more and had to rush to the bathroom instead. It was a good thing she had planned her leaving so she would arrive with a good advance and therefore still had time to get there before Alice could arrive herself.

Her best friend was coming home at last, after having been touring all through Europe and Asia and Bella couldn't wait to see her again.

Sometimes it seemed incredible to her to think about all Alice had achieved in the last ten years or so. When she had announced her intention to leave for New York to try and see if she could make a career in the music industry, not many people had wanted to believe in her. Those who thought she could succeed could actually be counted on one hand, but she had shut all the others up when within the year and a half after she had left, her first hit had been played over and over on the radios.

Nearly ten years later, Bella had lost count of how many albums Alice had released, but almost all of them had been N#1 in the charts at one point or another.

Yes, Bella really couldn't be prouder of her best friend. The only negative point was that her success had to come with a price nonetheless. Due to her busy schedule and the many tours that had followed and though her friend had moved to Los Angeles herself only a few years after Edward and Bella had settled there themselves, Bella had not seen Alice in nearly a year and she knew she should really be grateful that her friend had even been able to make it in time for Janelle's birthday. After all, only the previous night, Alice had still been giving a concert in London and had hopped in a plane almost right after it to be able to be there this morning.

"I could go for you, if you'd prefer me to…" Edward couldn't help proposing, momentarily pulling Bella out of her thoughts of how thrilled she could be to be only minutes away now from seeing Alice again.

"No, I'm feeling fine right now… and besides, some fresh air could only do me some good." Bella appreciated his offer of course, but she needed those few minutes she would be able to spend alone with Alice to catch up on their lives, before she had to share her with about half the people that would be at their house soon.

After all you couldn't be best friend with one of the most famous singers around lately and hope to be able to keep her all to yourself, with a bunch of kids who probably knew most of her songs better than Bella ever could and who would just about die to approach her.

Alice was no Britney Spears, but if Janelle liked her music and had almost all of her albums -thanks to Alice sending those she thought Janelle could listen to even at her young age- chances were that her friends would as well and if they didn't, Bella was sure that they had at least heard about her, or seen her on TV and therefore, the result would be just the same. Alice was a celebrity, there was no denying that, but as long as Bella could see her, she could deal with the rest.

Well, as long as they didn't end up with a horde of reporters and paparazzi in front of her house of course, but since Alice was traveling alone and incognito, that shouldn't be a problem.

"Okay… I'll have Janelle dressed and ready for your return…" Edward told her, as Bella left his embrace and reached for the purse she had thrown haphazardly on their bed when she had been running to the bathroom.

"Thank you… I put two dresses on her bed already… just let her choose which one she wants to wear…" Bella informed him as they stepped to the bedroom door.

She certainly wasn't worried since she knew he could handle Janelle just fine, no matter how excited she could be about the day, or if she had barely been able to sit still since she had woken up. Currently she was downstairs watching some cartoons on TV, but Bella suffered from no illusion that this would keep her occupied much longer.

"Sure." Edward just said, as he followed her out of the room and into the hallway.

"I'll see you in a few!" Bella then whispered, standing on her tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss.

"Yeah!" Edward replied simply, quite distracted by the way her soft lips felt under his.

He savored the taste of her for a few seconds, regretting that he couldn't see it turning into something more and he held her hand for as long as he could when she pulled away and started to move away from him.

"Bella?" he found himself calling her name at the last moment then, causing her to turn around before she could reach the first floor.

"Yes?" she uttered questioningly, thinking that maybe he had forgotten to tell her something.

There had been a time not so long ago when he was afraid of letting her get out of the house alone and the last thing he would always tell her when he had no choice but to let her go nonetheless, had been for her to be careful.

Kate Denali had not been lying when she had said that she would make their lives a living hell, or at least she had surely done her best to do so.

Barely a couple of weeks after Edward had fired her, he had heard from a friend of his, a lawyer as well, that Kate was looking for someone to represent her because she indeed wanted to sue him and Emmett.

Surprisingly however, she didn't seem to be able to find anyone who was willing to risk going against them. Much to both his and Emmett's amazement and just like they had themselves in reality, Kate had clearly underestimated their reputation.

From what he had heard, Kate had been livid and seething after having been turned down by one too many lawyers and had even created quite a scene at the last practice she had visited, but knowing that she would certainly not stop there for all that, Edward had decided to take the initiative and do something himself.

Even if -unless she forced him to of course- he hadn't planned to really go through with it and it had more been to scare her into giving up if she knew what was good for her than anything else, Edward had decided to sue her as well for harassment, sending Kate an official document that stipulated that not only Bella, but Emmett and Jessica as well would be testifying if, or when, they went to trial.

The least that could be said was that after that, her reaction had not been long to come. On the same day she had apparently received that letter, Edward had gotten a phone call, Kate screaming her head off about the fact that he couldn't do that to her and what a bastard he was.

Edward had not acknowledged her pitiful cries however, and had asked her instead if she really thought that any judge would favor and believe a simple secretary over a well known lawyer and if she really wanted him to bring everything she had done up in front of a court and that had shut her up, at least momentarily. When she had started screaming again, Edward had simply hung up on her, but not before having told her that she should better leave his family alone, or _he_ would be the one making _her_ life a living hell.

If she had indeed stopped trying to sue him then after their heated conversation, what Edward had not counted on, was for her to find another way to insinuate herself in his everyday life.

The first time they had noticed something was wrong had been just a few days after that phone call. When coming back from one of her morning jogs, Bella had noticed a car parked near their house, car that had already been parked there across the street the day before, and the day before that, and she had shared her suspicions with Edward almost right away, since they hadn't known of anyone in their small neighborhood that had changed cars, or was having guests for an extended period.

When he had tried to discreetly investigate however, the driver had apparently spotted him and had driven away before he could clearly see their face. The only thing he had really been able to see then had been a mop of blonde curls, but he had still wanted to believe that he was mistaken and that it couldn't be who he had almost been sure he had recognized.

After that, the blue sedan that had been parked in front of their house had not reappeared, at least not there, but Edward could have sworn that he had spotted it following him several times, from his place of work to the different places he went to meet with clients.

The feeling of being almost constantly followed had made him uneasy of course, but he had thought he could deal with it, at least until he could prove that it was really who he thought it was, yet Kate -because it was indeed Kate who had been hanging around his neighborhood and following him around like some stalking psycho- had once more proven that she was just too dangerous to be ignored.

Following _him_ was one thing, but Edward had seriously lost it when Janelle's school had called him to inform him that someone had tried to convince his daughter to follow them outside, the school noticing that something was wrong when Janelle had started screaming and kicking when they had grabbed for her and tried to take her with them.

How Kate had managed to enter the school premises during recess Edward didn't know, but he hadn't needed to hear more than the description of the woman who had tried to drag Janelle to her car and had run away when the teachers had yelled for someone to call the police, to know that the culprit had indeed been his former employee. Janelle had confirmed it later on anyway, when she had stopped crying long enough to ask Edward why his 'mean secretary' had wanted to take her away.

Bella, who had arrived barely minutes after Edward had himself, had been hysterical of course, and it had taken all of Edward's patience to calm them both down, though all the while, inwardly, he had been swearing that this was the last time Kate Denali would come anywhere near his family. No matter what he had to do for that.

Bella had barely assured him that she would be alright at home with Janelle once he had dropped them off there, that he was going and pressing charges against Kate for attempted kidnapping, but if it had surprisingly not taken long to the police to find her, since she had simply gone back to her apartment, like nothing had even happened, what they had discovered there had been enough to make Edward sick.

Apparently after having gotten fired, Kate had really hit rock bottom and stopped caring about anything but watching and following Edward. Her apartment had looked like it hadn't seen a cleaning in a long while, clothes and take-out boxes had been thrown everywhere, dirty dishes had been piled up in the kitchen and Kate herself had looked just as much a mess: the clothes she had been wearing looked like they hadn't been changed for a few days now, her face had been devoid of any makeup and it had been evident she hadn't made any effort with her hair either. Simply put, the woman Edward had seen that day had gotten nothing to do anymore with the quite elegant secretary he had been used to only weeks back.

She had also been barely coherent then when she had been brought in for questioning, but Edward had refused to be moved in any way by her state or her obvious distress, even when one of the police officers had remarked that she was so far gone at the moment, that she didn't even seem to understand what she had done wrong.

No, Edward hadn't cared at all. The only thing in his mind had been to make her pay, if only for how much she had scared Janelle and Bella.

Unfortunately, not everyone seemed to think like him and Kate had gotten out of there with barely a slap on the wrist, the judge who had looked over her case later having apparently taken pity on her and considered that Kate was more unstable and in need of some psychiatric help, than she was really dangerous.

Beside emitting a restraining order that forbad Kate from coming anywhere within 500 feet from Janelle, Bella or him, ordering her to be medically followed up, and telling her that she would have to serve time at the next incident, or if he had to ever see her in his court, nothing much had been done and of course the fact that he couldn't even count on the law to get Kate out of his life had made Edward furious.

From there, he had taken it upon himself to make sure that Kate couldn't bother them nonetheless and had hired a private investigator to follow Kate this time and inform him of her every move. Results had come quickly, but the PI could only confirm that Kate had indeed moved to San Jose not long after her hearing.

She had asked if she could find a doctor there, instead of staying in Los Angeles, almost right away after having been informed of the terms of her sentence, pretending that she needed a change of scenery if she wanted to get better and that she had a brother there –brother that Edward had not even known existed until then, since she had always affirmed to have no family left- who was ready to take her in until she was 'well' again and the judge had not seen any problem with that.

Edward had not been convinced at first, but after having that PI trail Kate for a few weeks, he had been forced to admit that hopefully Kate Denali wouldn't be a problem for him and his family anymore.

That of course didn't mean that he wasn't fearing she would return one day and Bella knew how much it cost him still to let his guard down and not go all protective on her. If he could, he would probably spend each single minute of the day behind her or Janelle, making sure that they were okay and that nothing could happen to them, but Bella had pointed out that they wouldn't be able to just be and enjoy life if they had to always look over their shoulders, and Edward had had no choice but to back off, or at least as much as he could of course.

The sound of his voice brought her out of her thoughts and to the present again now and she couldn't help smiling lovingly at him when she heard him whisper a heartfelt '_I love you_'. No matter how many times he could say those sweet words, she didn't think she could ever tire of hearing them.

"Love you more…" she breathed back with just as much emotion in her voice and then, she hurried downstairs before she could change her mind and she dragged him back into their bedroom to show him just how much she indeed loved him instead.

No, not a good idea _at all_ when your parents were probably already up and about to get out of their room.

What she didn't know though, was that their little scene had already had a witness, Charlie Swan having seen enough to know that he could finally stop worrying about his daughter.

When Renée had called him months back from Los Angeles to tell him what had happened and that she had actually found Edward and Bella reconciled, instead of finding their daughter heartbroken like she had been expecting, he had been just as skeptical and had had the same doubts and suspicions about their sudden and miraculous reconciliation as she had herself, but he just had to look at how happy Edward was making his daughter again now to know that this time, they were in for the long run and that nothing would ever come between them again. Neither of them would let that happen.

Although he had not really talked about what had transpired between his daughter and her husband with her, he had nonetheless been privy to the details of the situation through his own wife and knew exactly what had happened, what a huge misunderstanding everything had been.

Consequently, he also knew of course just how wrong they had been about Edward in the end and that had surely come a long way in forgiving him for how much he had hurt Bella in the past. He had eyes, too, anyway and he would have to be seriously blind to not see how much effort Edward put in reminding Bella, and that as often as he could, just how much she meant to him.

Today was definitely not the first time he had witnessed such a scene, they had both been plenty 'generous' with the public displays of affection in the three days he and Renée had been there, but it certainly warmed his heart as a father to see that after everything she had gone through, his little girl had found happiness again.

And if that grin on his son-in-law's face was any indication, he was just as happy as he could make his daughter be.

No, there was really no reason for him to worry anymore, Charlie thought as he stepped back into the guestroom before Edward had a chance to spot him and ask him what he was doing there, spying on them.

* * *

The least that could be said was that fetching Alice from the airport had been quite an adventure. If Bella had thought that it would be a piece of cake and that she would be in and out in no time, she had been sadly mistaken.

It had taken them nearly half an hour just to exit the arrival terminal, after Alice had gone through luggage claim and a young girl had recognized her, even with the sunglasses and summer hat she had been wearing and from there, everything had seemed to snowball.

Bella had barely had time to hug Alice and tell her how much she had missed her that they were surrounded by a crowd of nearly hysterical fans. Used by now to such attentions, Alice had taken it all with the grace of a queen, while Bella stood on the side, her mouth nearly hanging completely opened, as she watched how her best friend traded autographs and smiles, much to the pleasure of everyone present.

It clearly wasn't the first time that something like that had happened and that Bella was there to see it live, it had happened just last year in fact, before Alice had left and they had had the good idea -or maybe not- to go shopping in one of the most prestigious boutique of LA, only to be practically assailed by a horde of fans, but even after having witnessed it many times, it still impressed Bella just the same.

The 'fans' had not been nearly as hysterical at home as they had been at the airport, fortunately, but Alice had had to sign many autographs there as well nonetheless in the first hour after her arrival and not necessarily for only the youngest guests.

Janelle had been ecstatic as well of course to see her famous 'aunt' and she had clung to her for a while, before she had accepted to let her go and greet the other guests, while she went and played a moment with her friends herself.

As for Bella, she had only had time to mingle among them a mere hour or so, before the bakery where she had ordered Janelle's birthday cake had called to let her know that she could come and pick it up whenever she wanted since it was ready, and she had been out of the door again in no time, even despite Edward's insistence that he could go himself this time and that she should rest some instead if she could.

No need to say that Bella had only needed to remind him that she would hardly be able to do any of that in a house full of people to have him let it go, although adding a kiss and a promise to hurry had been necessary as well.

When she came back over an hour later however, she wasn't more surprised than that to see Janelle attached to Edward, instead of enjoying some time with her little friends. If she had always been really close to Edward and had never minded spending more time with him than with anyone else, ever since the incident with Kate, Janelle had become even more clingy where Edward was concerned and it had taken all of his patience and love to make her understand and be sure that he would never, ever let anything like that happen to her again, or anything else for that matter, because he would always be there to protect her. To protect them both.

The instant she stepped into her garden, Bella's eyes automatically searched for them and she couldn't contain a smile when she found Edward lying on a chaise longue and talking with Jasper and Sam, with Janelle lying practically on top of him, her head resting on his shoulder while both his arms were around her.

Even from the distance, Bella could tell that even if Edward seemed to be an active participant in whatever conversation the three of them could be having, he was nonetheless very aware of Janelle's presence, as he couldn't help touching her and drawing soothing circles over her back and it made her love him even more to see once more just what a fantastic and devoted father he was to their daughter. She surely didn't need to be any kind of medium either to know that he would be just the same with any of their kids.

After having greeted a few of the guests she had not seen yet, since they had arrived while she was out, Bella made a beeline to them, all the while trying to ignore how much faster her heart was beating since the last stop she had made before coming home.

Edward spotted her as she was approaching and this time her heart almost stopped when he gave her one of those smiles she loved so much and that could make her melt on the spot. Suddenly there seemed to be no one else but her for him and it wasn't surprising so if her own smile only grew wider.

Tenderly, she placed a soft kiss on Janelle's crown after having ruffled her hair slightly, and then she turned to Edward, her sweet lips taking his in a breathtaking kiss before he could even say hello to her.

"Hey…" she whispered gently when they parted, both of their breaths coming out in short pants.

"Hey back…" Edward's own voice was hoarse as he answered and the way he was looking at her was enough to give Bella shivers. "Not that I mind in the least… but what was that for?" he questioned huskily seconds later, as he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that Jasper and Sam were still around.

"No reason…" was Bella's soft reply, before she briefly pressed her lips to his once more. "I love you."

"I love you, too!" Edward replied instantly, but he couldn't help looking at her closely all of a sudden, one of his eyebrows rising in silent question when he noticed a sparkle in her eyes. Sparkle that he was sure hadn't been there when she had left. "What took you so long?" he asked then before he could stop himself, realizing for the first time that it shouldn't have taken her more than an hour to go get Janelle's cake.

"I had to take care of a little something but…" she started, only to be brutally interrupted when someone picked her up and twirled her around before she could even protest.

"Swan!" that someone all but shouted into her ear and when they put her back down and she saw who it was, she could only smile and hug them once more.

"Adam!... oh, my god!..." she cried excitedly, pleased to see Edward's high school best friend after so long and didn't even bother to remind him that she had not been a 'Swan' for a while now. Nor had she any intention of changing that either. She loved the name Edward had given her and what it represented too much for that. "God, it's good to see you! How have you been?"

The last time she had actually seen Adam Baker had been a couple of years ago when he had come to visit and although they had kept in touch constantly, she couldn't be happier to see him again, or happier to know that from now on he would be around.

After many years working for Las Vegas Police Department, Edward had told her just the other day that Adam had finally been transferred to Los Angeles and would actually be living not too far from them.

Yeah, as incredible as it could seem given his character, Adam had become a cop and a good one at that from what she knew, and as she looked at him now, all tall and handsome, Bella could only think that the police forces of Las Vegas had not been the only ones losing something valuable. Many hearts had probably broken all over the city since that guy had left, there was no doubt in her mind.

"Oh, I'm fine… and it's good to see you, too, beautiful, believe me…" Adam answered almost slyly, as he made a show of looking her up and down and no effort to release her just yet.

Which apparently wasn't to everyone's liking.

"You let go of my wife right this second, or I'm gonna have to hurt you!" Edward growled from next to them, causing both Bella and Adam to look back at him.

Adam only smirked as he noticed that Edward had transferred Janelle into Jasper's arms and was now up and looking at him like he seriously meant the words, even when the slightly shorter man knew well that wasn't truly the case.

"Seriously, Bella… what are you still doing with this guy when you could be with a stud like me?" he tsked and shook his head and Bella couldn't stop herself from giggling in reaction, knowing him enough to be sure that he was only teasing and trying to get a rise out of Edward.

"Sorry…" she whispered nonetheless, letting go of Adam at last and stepping into Edward's arms right away. She noticed of course the way Edward looked back at Adam then, like it was taking all he had to not poke his tongue at his friend in triumph, but she didn't comment on it. "He's kind of grown on me with the years… I'd miss him too much if I had to get rid of him now!"

"That's her way of telling you, you have no chance in hell… she's just too nice to tell you so to your face!" Edward pointed out and pulled Bella as close to him as he could, while he dared Adam to say anything to that.

"Your loss, gorgeous!" Adam winked at Bella and grinned at Edward before looking around, like he was searching for another prey. "I'll be around though, if you change your mind."

"I'll keep that in mind…" Bella replied as seriously as she could, but couldn't help the smile that teased her lips.

"No, you won't…" Edward stated almost in a growl, barely giving Adam a second glance when after a few seconds, he seemed to have found what he was looking for and he moved away toward one of Bella's single friends. "There's no way you ever will have to!"

"That's up to you I guess!" Bella answered huskily, pressing her body against his in a non-equivocal manner.

"Hmm… yeah… you _absolutely_ won't then … there's no doubt to have about it…" Edward caught her bottom lip between his and then bit softly on it, as if to say there would be hell to pay if it ever was any other way.

"I love when you get all jealous and possessive… that's such a turn on…" Bella murmured into his ear in reply, making sure he would be the only one to hear her.

She couldn't help feeling proud of herself however, when she heard him groan almost right away.

"Why don't we ditch this party for a while… and get back to '_work_', huh?… what do you say?" Edward proposed suggestively, his eyes roaming hungrily over her, like he was only seconds away from throwing her over his shoulder anyway and leaving with her, without caring in the least about how that would make them look in front of everyone present.

"As much as I want to… you know we can't…" Bella said regretfully, knowing that clearly right now that was not a possibility, no matter how tempting what she knew Edward had in mind could be.

"Can't we?... really?…" he pouted and asked nonetheless, looking at Bella like he was just about to cry, if she didn't give him what he desired more than anything at that instant.

"Maybe later?" Bella offered, giving him a kiss that she hoped would be enough to make him wait patiently.

"Huh-uh?" Edward moaned out as he nibbled at her lips, but before he could deepen the kiss he heard a groan behind him and was forced to stop.

"Here we go again…" Jasper muttered, picking up Janelle and quickly moving away, before she could see too much and risk being scarred for life. After all, he knew all too well how carried away her dear parents could get once they started. "What about you and I take a swim in that pool before we eat?" he then proposed, sure that with how hot a day it was, even for summer, Janelle would certainly not protest.

"Really? Can we?" she asked excitedly, beaming at the suggestion.

There was no way she could refuse, considering that she had been dying for one of the adults to want to go swimming so she could go, too. She had even changed into her swimsuit earlier, after having convinced her dad that she wasn't really comfortable in the dress she had chosen and he had let her change into a pair of shorts and a spaghetti straps top.

She could of course have taken a dip with the other kids earlier in the small inflatable pool her father had installed this morning, so they could refresh some if they were too hot, but what was the point when you could have the real thing? She _wanted_ the real thing, and Uncle Jasper was making her patience finally pay off, even if they would probably only be in a few minutes before they had to go and eat.

"Hey… anything for my favorite goddaughter…" Jasper replied, his smile matching hers.

"I'm your _only_ goddaughter, uncle Jazz…" Janelle threw back saucily, leaving Jasper speechless for a few seconds while her parents and Sam, who had heard her, couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face.

"You're too smart for you own good… you know that, kiddo?" Jasper retorted with a shake of his head, before joining in and laughing as well when Janelle just shrugged and smiled proudly.

"Not that I mind in the least the public display of affection myself… but seriously… when do we eat?" Edward and Bella's attention was brought back to someone else not long after Jasper and Janelle had reached the pool, when Jacob Black's voice drifted to their ears.

Having Jacob here would have been totally unthinkable and what's more, would have felt awfully awkward a few months ago, but now he seemed to be completely at ease and to fit perfectly among their friends, and Bella knew that had much to do with the conversation he and Edward had had the first time they had seen each other, not so long after Edward had finally learned the truth about her and Jacob.

Edward had actually needed to take her to work one morning, because her car had refused to start and when he had come back to take her home that same day, he had come across Jacob in the parking lot, before she had gotten out herself.

Now Jacob, since he had known by then what had happened and been told about what Edward had believed for so long, had done his very best to ignore Edward, sure that Bella's dear husband had still not been, and understandably so, his biggest fan, but Edward himself had not let that deter him, knowing that he owed the other man not only an apology, but more than anything a thank you for all he had done for Bella, while he had not been there for her himself.

Doing so had certainly not been easy however, and Bella didn't know which one of them had been more embarrassed then, Edward when having to say the words and tell Jacob how much he appreciated the fact that he had been such a good friend to Bella when she had needed one, or Jacob when he had heard them, but all in all she couldn't be more glad that they had eventually buried the hatchet.

After all, Jacob had been there by her side when she had not known whom to turn to, and though she would have certainly not thought twice about distancing herself from him and not seeing him again, at least for a while, if it had come to that and that had been what Edward had needed at the time, it would have broken her heart to have to do so nonetheless, even knowing that Jacob would have perfectly understood and not resented her in the least.

Fortunately, she had not needed to resort to that and if Edward and Jacob would most likely not be found alone, swapping stories about their respective lives around a drink any time soon, at least they were able to make normal conversation and talk like acquaintances who were slowly discovering that they had more things in common than what they could have thought themselves at first.

Jacob had even come to have dinner with them a couple of times in the last months and they had spent a few nice evenings together, Janelle definitely enjoying Jacob's sense of humor and all the stories he was able to come up with to make her laugh, and so it had only seemed normal, natural, to have him there among all their friends and family for her birthday. She probably wouldn't have understood anything else anyway.

"Okay… okay, I can take a hint…" Edward responded when Sam added his two cents as well and Bella looked at him like she would definitely not mind herself if they ate soon.

Considering how many people they were having over, they had decided on a barbecue and salads and Edward was suddenly very glad he had already started the grill earlier, so all he had to do now was to flip the burgers and take care of the steaks, sausages and other choice of meats they would have.

Edward was reluctant to let go of Bella however and therefore he couldn't help smiling when she told him that she would help him, although she had to change clothes first. He wasn't so sure it was for the better though, when she came back clad in a mini-skirt, like those rich people usually wore to go play tennis or those types of sport, and a backless top that left nothing to the imagination.

She wasn't able to help much either since, fearing that grease would splash on her and she would risk staining her clothes, or worse burning herself, Edward barely let her do anything but hold a dish and hand him the meat that was on it.

He wasn't going to complain for all that, since she stayed close to him the whole time and every time her hands were free, she couldn't help wrapping her arms around him. Although he was regretting the fact that he had let his shirt unbuttoned, since it was kind of hard to hide his reaction, every time her fingers brushed against his naked skin.

"Feeling better?" he found himself asking after a moment while the burgers grilled, letting go of the utensils he was using just long enough to lovingly caress her face.

"Much!" Bella replied with a dazzling smile, while she snuggled against him and Edward was forced to admit that apparently the fresh air had indeed done her _a lot_ of good.

That or there was something he didn't know, he thought as she clung to him like she meant to never let go.

"Maybe you should go see a doctor nonetheless?" he suggested still despite her reassurance, if only so they would be sure she was indeed okay.

She should probably have done so as soon as she had started feeling sick, but Bella had said that it was no use and that it would pass on its own, once she had been sure that she hadn't been pregnant and Edward had not wanted to force her then.

"I'm fine, Edward… I'm more than fine actually!" Bella declared quite enigmatically, but Edward was stopped from commenting, or even questioning her, when she pressed her lips to his and gave him a kiss that was sure to leave his head spinning for a while.

"God, do you guys ever stop?... seriously, you just make me sick… how long have you two been married again?" from behind them, Alice growled almost in disgust, like seeing them all lovey-dovey upset her, but as they turned to look at her and saw her smiling, they could clearly see that she didn't really mean it.

In reality, she couldn't be happier to see Bella and Edward acting like they didn't have a care in the world and had only eyes for each other again. Even if she had not been there to witness it firsthand and had only heard the whole story when things had been going better again, she knew just how hard a year Bella had had, just like Edward himself, and if there were two people in the world who deserved more than anyone else to be happy again, it was surely Bella and Edward, there was no doubt in her mind.

"Shoo… go find yourself your own man…" Bella groaned back, making a non-equivocal gesture that could only mean Alice should better go away, if she didn't want to get hurt.

Alice herself only chuckled in reaction as she continued on her way and joined Jasper and Janelle by the pool like had been her first intention. She couldn't stop the butterflies from fluttering in her stomach as she approached the man who, even nearly a year after the last time she had seen him and the thousands miles that had separated them for so long, still managed to make her feel like she was a teenager experiencing her first crush.

She knew she should feel somewhat ashamed to have hidden something like that from her best friend, but the truth was she didn't really even know what was going on with herself. She had thought that with time it would pass and that she would be able to forget the single night they had spent together over a year ago, which was why she had not even bothered mentioning it to Bella once she had been away, but clearly she had underestimated the power Jasper Whitlock could have over her.

She had known him for almost as long as Bella had herself, yet due to her crazy schedule, she had probably seen him only a handful of times, but she couldn't deny that she had always found herself quite attracted to him, even when she hadn't tried anything as she had been convinced that nothing could come out of it.

That at least had been true until two days before her departure a year ago. She had certainly not planned to sleep with him, that was for sure, but once he had kissed her in front of her front door, after having taken her home from a dinner with Edward and Bella, she had not been able to stop what had happened. One kiss had led to another and before they could reason with themselves, they had been tumbling into bed.

Not that she regretted what had happened between them, she never could, considering how satisfying and pleasurable that night had been, it was the morning after awkwardness she would have certainly done without.

Neither she nor Jasper had known what to say or what to do and consequently, they had both chosen to act like nothing had happened. They had not even really talked in fact, barely telling each other that considering the fact that she was leaving in a couple of days, they should probably leave things at that.

Alice had not seen him again before her departure and she had forced herself to not think too much about him, or about their night together, but seeing him again now had thrown all those good resolutions right out the window.

The only problem now was that she didn't know how to behave around him, no more than Jasper apparently did. She could see him throwing looks her way every now and then, but beside greeting her with a smile and a hug when she had arrived, he had barely said two words to her.

Which was why she was doing her very best now to catch his attention and she hoped that the skimpy bikini she was wearing would do the trick, although she had made an effort and covered her behind with a sarong. After all there were kids around and she didn't want to scare or shock anyone.

From a few feet away, Bella took in the scene with a small smile, telling herself that she would need to have a little talk with her best friend as soon as they would find a moment alone.

During the ride from the airport Alice had only hinted on her plans for the next few months, most of them regarding her career, while Bella herself beamed over how everything was pure magic again between Edward and her and confessed their desire to have another baby, but Bella wasn't stupid and though she didn't remember Alice ever talking much about Jasper, she could clearly see something was going on between those two.

Her usually chatty friend seemed to be completely tongue-tied around Edward's friend and that was something that had certainly not happened enough in the past for Bella not finding it too weird to be honest now. And she wasn't even talking about the sparks she could see flying every time Jasper and Alice _dared_ look at each other. Something was in the air, there was no doubt in her mind, which was a good thing as far as she was concerned.

Alice had been alone for too long and if she had to see her hook up with someone, if only to have some fun for a change, there couldn't be a better choice for her than Jasper. He was one of the great guys and Bella was sure he could really make her friend happy.

There weren't the only ones Bella thought she should keep an eye on, though. The triangle Emmett-Rosalie-Samuel had caught her attention this morning and from the look of it, it seemed that Emmett McCarthy was the one worming his way into Edward's sister's heart, even if at first sight, he hadn't seemed like her type.

Not that Sam wasn't laying it on her strong and thick, he had barely left her side during the time she had been there herself, and though Bella had found him with Jasper and Edward as she had come

back, he had gone and joined her again almost as soon as the guys had split, yet Rosalie seemed to have only eyes for her brother's bulky, dark-haired and dimple-faced associate, no matter how strange that could look to some and Sam more particularly apparently. He didn't seem to want to give up however, if the way he was trying to catch Rosalie's attention right now was any indication, therefore this promised to become interesting sooner or later.

"You're still with me?" Edward's voice pulled her out her thoughts and she smiled at him when their eyes met again.

"Yeah, sorry…" Bella shook her head and focused all her attention again on her loving husband, who seemed quite reluctant to have to let her go.

"Help me finish this, then… I'm sure Black's not the only one starving!" Edward declared, noticing that more and more guests had taken seats around the different tables they had lined up to contain everyone.

"Sure… let me get them this already…" Bella said and moved to lay two of the plates of grilled meat they already had on the table, smiling as she saw some of the guests lick their lips in appreciation as they saw her approach.

* * *

Not an hour later, everyone was eating and chatting happily, Jasper having taken over Edward after a while when he was done himself, so his friend could eat as well. As for Bella, she could tell everyone was satisfied with the lunch, even if she had barely touched her own food herself.

From time to time, she could see Edward throwing her concerned looks from over Janelle's head who sat between the two of them and she did her best to appease him with a smile or a short kiss each time, not ready yet to tell him _why_ she was feeling so nervous and was hardly able to stomach any food.

She had plans for that, all she had to do was to take care of a little something and get her daughter to cooperate, which shouldn't be a problem. Janelle was so impatient to get to the cake and opening all her presents that she would probably do about anything Bella asked her.

Once everyone was more or less done and most of the plates had been taken and put away, Bella escaped a few minutes to finish was she had to do and when she stepped back outside, she wasn't more surprised than that to see Edward waiting for her, a questioning look on his face.

Inwardly she thanked God all would soon be over, because she knew how persuasive Edward could be when he wanted to know something and she doubted she could hide what she was doing any longer than necessary.

She hoped he wouldn't ask her where she had been and was actually pleased when Edward drew her into his arms instead the second she stepped close enough to him for him to do so. He nuzzled her neck in the most distracting way, making her all but melt in his arms.

"Dance with me!" he breathed huskily as he pressed her body to his and pulled them to a side, already swaying to the music before Bella could even realize any was playing.

Apparently someone had cued up a CD while she had been inside and Bella couldn't help but smile back at Edward, as he looked lovingly down at her when she followed his lead.

Neither of them cared that they actually were the only ones dancing at that moment, they were just too lost into each other to see anything that was happening around them.

"We've had quite a year, huh?" Edward whispered, as one song turned into another and he briefly registered the lyrics.

"You can say that again." Bella breathed back, leaning into his touch when she felt his fingers caress her face tenderly.

"I don't regret it all though…" Edward admitted softly, before quickly continuing when he noticed the puzzled look Bella was giving him at his words. "I mean, don't get me wrong… I absolutely _hate_ that I hurt you so much… voluntarily or not… and even more to know all you've been through…"

"I know, Edward… so do I…" Bella interrupted, knowing what he meant and feeling the same regrets even months afterwards.

It would probably take them both years before they could hope to forget all that had happened to them in that last one, but they were together again now and that was all that had to matter.

"But I don't know if I would have changed… if I would have finally gotten my act together, if this hadn't happened…" Edward pursued, despite the fact that he knew Bella probably didn't want him to apologize again.

"Edward…" she murmured weakly, but he didn't let her go any further than his name.

"It's true, Bella…. I was too blind to see what was happening around me then… and I've made a lot of mistakes because of that… mistakes I'll have to live with forever… but I know now that I won't _ever_ make them again…" Edward vowed, his heart in his eyes and there was no way Bella could doubt his sincerity. "I know it can sound stupid… but in a way I think I needed that… the thought of losing you, Bella… I mean really losing you… it very nearly killed me… but I think that was the only thing that could open my eyes and make me realize how stupid I was being…" he went on as his thumbs caressed her cheekbones with such tenderness, Bella wasn't surprised to feel her eyes brim with tears.

"E-Edward …" she croaked out his name once more, only to have a gentle finger press on her lips and stop her this time.

"You are my life, baby… the only thing that matters… you and Janelle, I mean, and all the children I hope we'll still have… and I won't ever forget that again… not ever… I love you two more than anything else in this world… and I plan to spend the rest of my life reminding you of that… yes, every, single, day… for the rest of my life!" by the time Edward finished, tears were glistening in his eyes as well, but he couldn't care less at that instant, because he was only speaking the truth.

This was nothing new for Bella of course, after all Edward had been telling her practically the same thing for months, and what was more _proving_ it to her every way he could, but that didn't stop her from feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

"I love you!" was the only thing she could utter past the huge lump that clogged her throat at that instant, her fingers winding through his hair at the nape of his neck and bringing his face down to her for a scorching kiss. "Edward… I-I…" she started emotionally when they parted, ready to forget about her little plan and tell him what she had waited to tell him for what seemed like an eternity already, when a tug on her skirt stopped her from going any further.

"Mommy, daddy?... can we open my presents now?" Bella was quick to brush her tears away before her daughter could see them and think that something was wrong, and she smiled as best as she could as huge hopeful emerald eyes looked up to them.

Edward was the first to completely recover and though she saw him swallow before he could speak again, he had Janelle up and in his arms a second later, effectively breaking the moment and postponing Bella's revelation.

Well, maybe that was for the best nonetheless, Bella thought as she concentrated on her daughter in her father's arms, although she would now have to find something else to convince Janelle to help, since she apparently wouldn't be able to use the presents as bribe.

"Sure, sweetie…" Edward whispered after having sought out agreement in Bella's eyes. "I think you've been patient enough."

He reached for Bella before moving away, placing a tender kiss against her temple and taking her hand in his before he called out to all the guests and gathered them around the table they had deposited all the gifts on, Janelle squirming excitedly in his arms all the while.

Unwrapping the presents was a big affair and as she watched her daughter open gift after gift, then go and dutifully thank every giver, Bella couldn't help wondering where in the hell they would put all she had been receiving. Apparently many guests knew of her love for dolls and stuffed animals and she had received enough to completely redecorate her room.

Adam and Rosalie had obviously remembered since they had both gotten her one, but Edward's friend had added a complete cartoons collection and his sister some clothes that were sure to have Janelle look fashionably 'in' when school would start again.

Those dolls and all the other ones she had received today were at least sure to never be 'homeless', since the Swans had bought her a doll house that would no doubt easily contain them all. The house had probably cost a fortune considering its size, but when Bella and Edward had hinted on the fact that it was really too much and they probably shouldn't have, Renée and Charlie had wanted to hear none of that, saying that it was well within their right to spoil their only granddaughter while they could.

Alice had been a little more original and had forgotten the dolls in favor of a keyboard synthesizer, stating that one was never too young to start learning how to play, and since she planned to stay around for a while now, she would be sure to give Janelle some free lessons whenever she could.

From Emmett she had gotten a brand new computer and a few games, which of course made her squeal in delight, at least until Edward had said that they would have to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn't spend too much time in front of the screen playing.

Jasper for his part had decided to put his talent to contribution and had presented Janelle with the detailed plans of the tree house he planned to build for her. More than anyone, Edward and Bella knew just how busy a man Jasper was and they appreciated the effort he was putting, knowing that getting that house done would mean many hours of work on the weekends to come for him, to make sure that it was absolutely perfect.

Jasper being an architect and a perfectionist on top of that, they also knew that it would be nothing short of 'grand', even for a simple tree house, but even more than that, completely 'safe' for Janelle. Jasper wouldn't have suggested such a present if he couldn't make sure of that.

There was also another gift that, although maybe far less expensive than some of the others Janelle had received, meant a lot to Edward and Bella.

From Sarah Montgomery, the woman who had gotten into that dramatic accident that in a way had changed Edward and Bella's lives for the better, the woman who against all expectations had _survived_, she had received a complete 'artist case', with pencils, felt-tips, chalks, gouaches and everything she needed to let her imagination go wild on paper.

Due to Sarah's condition and although she clearly remembered the woman who had let her play with her puppy for a while that day in the parking lot, Janelle had not seen her yet and probably wouldn't until she would have been discharged from the hospital, but Edward and Bella themselves had visited her several times, since she had woken up nearly a month after her accident.

At first they had just tried to have some news through the hospital, but the different nurses Edward had gotten on the phone had made it clear that they could only release information on a patient's condition to the family, and since their mistake had long since been established, they had well known that Edward wasn't in any way related to the woman they had first thought was his wife.

Sarah Montgomery's identity had been cleared up not long after Edward had actually left the hospital that day, when a friend of hers had presented himself looking for her after he had gone to the site of the accident, per her instructions, and had been faced with chaos and disaster instead.

He had already called once before and had gone to about every hospital in LA in search of her, but since at the time everyone had been convinced that Isabella Cullen was the one fighting for her life in one of their operating rooms, no one had been able to help him in his quest.

The hospital had a lot to make up for of course, and once they had had been given a name for the woman who had become 'Jane Doe' for them once Jasper Whitlock had come in to let them know of the confusion, her family and boyfriend had been immediately contacted.

It was actually only a couple of days after their return from Florida that Bella herself had thought about checking the purse she had not used since that day and had found Sarah's wallet among her things. Bella had also been the one to suggest they tried to contact Sarah's family to learn more about her whereabouts, and Edward had been glad to see she understood his need to know how she was doing, even if they didn't even know her.

Bella knew that it had been quite different for Edward who, for hours, had been praying for a woman he thought was her, but that didn't mean that she wasn't concerned herself as well for the woman with whom she had shared a brief moment. It could sound stupid said like that, but they had both known how much they owed that stranger.

Going with Edward that first day had given Bella quite an insight on what Edward had gone through when he had been there in those same hospital walls, fearing for _her_ life, and she had known then that, even if he was clearly relieved that it hadn't been her in the end, he would probably never forget the experience, or the incommensurable fear he had felt during those few hours nonetheless.

_She_ wouldn't forget either how Edward had stopped them only feet from reaching their destination and had nearly crushed her to him for interminable minutes, because he needed to '_make sure that she was really alright and there with him, not lying still unconscious in a bed not far from there'_ like he had said.

The way he had trembled in her arms as she had held him back had been enough for her to know just how hard it had been for him to be there again and that he would certainly rather be anywhere else. Edward had never been a fan of hospitals, and his experience there had only reinforced that.

Sarah's family had of course been overcome with grief, something that Edward, more than anyone probably, could easily understand, but they had surprisingly been very understanding and accepting of Edward and Bella's presence nonetheless, mostly because they had heard through the hospital staff of what had happened, and knew exactly _who_ Edward was.

Much to his embarrassment, Edward had even been _thanked_ for having 'beaten' Ray Sullivan, even if they had all admitted that violence was never the answer. Edward had wanted to do more than that though, and Bella hadn't been more surprised than that when he had offered the Montgomerys and Sarah's boyfriend to help them sue the man responsible for Sarah's condition, _for free_, if that was what they wanted to do. Though it hadn't been Bella this time, it could very well have been, and if only for that, Edward wanted to make sure Ray Sullivan couldn't ever hurt anyone else again.

There had been no need for them to think about it of course, not when they had gotten the whole story and knew what a danger to others that man could be, and Sullivan had not known what hit him when he had been slapped with a lawsuit not so long after he was out of the hospital bed Edward himself had sent him to.

Bella herself had been a little scared he would try to retaliate and sue Edward back for what he had done to him himself, but apparently he had been intelligent enough to not make the situation worse. Given the circumstances, it had been in his best interest he tried to be as inconspicuous as he could.

Sarah had actually woken up a couple of weeks after Mr. Sullivan had been sent to jail with no chance to bail out before his trial, and with no brain damage whatsoever at that, despite the month of coma she had undergone. The doctors were also quite optimistic about her complete recovery and their chances to repair her face thanks to plastic surgery and make her look again like her former self.

Not surprisingly, Bella had found a new friend in Sarah, and though the later had not been so sure she had even wanted to keep her baby at first, once it had been gone the two women had all too naturally bonded over the loss only a woman who had gone through the same could understand.

Hearing that Sarah had been pregnant and that Edward had been told about it when the doctors had thought it was her who had been injured, had also been a true eye-opener for Bella. Listening to Edward tell her what it had felt like to think that _she_ had been the one with child and understanding that he had really believed that she could have gone as far as making a baby with someone who wasn't him, had eventually made her see how deep his fears that she had really been with Jacob had run and she had done her very best since then to prove to him that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. He was the only man she wanted. The only one she loved.

Given all that so, Bella hadn't been surprised either to see that Sarah, even from the hospital where she would still have to stay for a few weeks, had remembered Janelle's birthday and thought about getting her a present sent, and Bella promised herself she would make sure to thank her the next time she would see her. Maybe she could even have Janelle draw something for her in thanks. It could be the first 'art' she would do with her new case.

Bella and Edward themselves had been nearly the last ones to give her their gift and Bella didn't think she had seen her daughter smile and talk so much as when she had seen her new bike in the garage, with helmet, knees and elbows protections and all. Considering how long she had been begging for one, complaining about the fact that the other one was too small for her now, her reaction wasn't so surprising.

Bella had to admit however, that as much as Janelle could like the bike, Carlisle and Esme's present was probably the one that would keep Janelle from sleeping tonight.

The look on her face had been too comical when she had opened the envelope they had given her, and everyone had laughed when she had looked at them with a quizzical look and they heard her ask them why they were giving her a simple picture of a small Labrador puppy.

The one she wore a few seconds later when they told her it was actually _her_ puppy was just as priceless however, and nothing could have wiped the grin off her face after that, not even when Edward and Bella had let her know that the young lab would indeed be hers, but it would have to stay at her grandparents' house until she would be old enough to take care of it on her own.

That had been the only compromise they had made with Edward's parents when they had said they wanted to get her the dog she had been asking for, for months now. Janelle herself didn't seem to care, as long as she had one apparently, but convincing her that they couldn't go and see it right away because it wasn't at the Cullens' yet and they would only be getting it in a couple of days had been another story altogether.

Now half an hour later and after her mini-crisis was over, Bella was bursting at the seams, desperately trying to convince Janelle to pay attention to her and forget about all her new toys for a while.

"Okay… you know what you have to do, sweetie, right?" she asked once more, gently framing Janelle's face so she would concentrate on her.

She understood that her daughter would rather play than do what she was asking her, but it was too important for her to give up, or have it done wrong.

"Yes!" Janelle rolled her eyes and nodded, taking the stack of cards her mother was pressing into her hands and looking around to see where her father was. The sooner she got this done, the sooner she could go back to her dolls.

"Okay, go then!" Bella expelled a long breath and pushed her in Edward's direction, her heart thudding louder and louder in her ears the closer Janelle got to him.

As she reached him, Bella couldn't help twisting her hands nervously, not sure she would only be able to go through the next few minutes.

Edward was actually talking with his parents when he felt Janelle tugging on his hand and trying to grab his attention.

"Yes, sweetheart?" he squatted down to her level almost right away, but couldn't help raising an eyebrow in question when he saw her extend a few birthday cards for him to take.

"Daddy, can you read them for me?... I can't read all the words yet…" Janelle scrunched up her nose as she talked and Edward couldn't help smiling lovingly up at her.

Bella had been teaching her to read for a little while now, but sometimes Janelle still messed up letters so he wasn't surprised by her request.

"Of course, honey… come here!" Edward picked her up right away and moved to the nearest chair he could find and once he was settled, he pulled her on his lap, holding her tightly as he started reading the first one.

'_Happy birthday, sweetheart… Grandpa and Grandma love you!_', it said simply, Edward having recognized his mother's neat handwriting immediately.

'_Dear Jay… I hope you will like the house… you will have to make sure you invite me over once it's done… Happy Birthday… Love you… Uncle Jazz_', he continued with the next one, smiling at Janelle when she asked if the tree house would be big enough for both Jasper and him having a tea party with her in there.

"I'm sure Uncle Jazz will do his best to make that possible…" Edward replied, already picturing how many times he would have to climb up that tree, once the house would be done. All thanks to Jasper's brilliant idea. But then he guessed he could always have said no, when Jasper had told him about his plan and had asked for permission.

The next cards were from Alice and from one of Bella's friends, and the following from her parents, but it was the next one that was about to make Edward's heart stop almost completely.

At a distance, Bella was nearly biting her nails now as she waited for Edward to come upon the card she had picked up herself on her way home today and had slipped among the others, when Jacob stopped next to her and grunted.

"Okay, what is it?... do I smell?... Do I have something between my teeth?" he asked Bella, who only turned a distracted ear to him, too focused she was on what was happening a few feet away from her.

"What?"

"That Lauren girl… I swear I have tried about every trick in the book and it's like she doesn't even see me… Am I suddenly invisible?" he complained, wondering when he had lost his touch with women.

Usually he had no problem whatsoever scoring a date, but Edward's new secretary seemed completely impermeable to his charms and his attempts at seduction and that was making him more and more frustrated by the second.

"She doesn't… and yeah, sorry, for her, you might as well be!" Bella answered matter-of-factly, completely missing Jacob's frown as he heard her.

"Okay, _thanks_… but that's not exactly what I wanted to hear!" he retorted, not sure he liked the fact that Bella barely seemed to be paying attention to what he was telling her.

Gee, what was wrong with him and women today?

"Jacob, sorry… but you don't exactly have the body parts Lauren usually goes for!" she informed him with a sigh, but her eyes never left Edward.

Butterflies fluttered like crazy in her stomach as she finally saw him open 'her' card, and she couldn't help holding her breath in anticipation.

'_Congratulations_', Edward read to Janelle, finding the front of the card slightly different from all the other ones he had read so far, but not giving it more thought than that at first.

Not until he opened it completely at least and saw what was inside.

The instant he did, he sucked in a breath and felt his heart tightening in his chest.

His eyes swept over the black and white picture inside, taking in every detail, the date in one corner, _July, 29th_, today, the name in the other, _Isabella Marie __Cullen_… but mostly the few blurred millimeters in the middle, and he thought he would stop breathing altogether.

There was barely anything to see yet, but it was there. As tiny as it could be… it was really there.

Bella's words written not as neatly as what he was used to -probably due to the emotion she had to have felt when she had written them- confirmed what he was seeing anyway.

'_We're having a baby_!', the letters seemed to blur the longer he fixed them, but that was the only thing he could see.

'_We're having a baby_!'

God, it all made so much sense now, why she had taken so much time to come back from fetching Janelle's cake, why she had seemed on edge almost all day, and that something in her eyes he had not been able to decipher, but had somehow known was important.

They were having a _baby_.

"Daddy, what does this one say?" Janelle inquired curiously, sensing from her father's reaction that this one was apparently different… maybe even important.

"It s-says…" his voice cracked as he started, and Edward had to clear his throat before he could continue again. "It just says that this is one of the best days of my life!" his eyes met Bella's across the distance and he couldn't stop his heart from skipping a few beats when his gaze drifted lower and he noticed the way her hand rested almost protectively against her stomach.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry… why don't you let grandpa continue with you?… I need to go talk with mommy for a moment!" Edward said next and called for his father, suddenly in a hurry to be near his wife.

Jacob was still talking with her, having it seemed finally understood what the matter was with Lauren, when Edward strode determinedly to Bella, apparently with only one goal in mind.

"Jacob, why don't you try talking to Jessica instead… she's been giving you the eye all day!" Bella observed almost too casually just as Edward was joining them, her eyes suddenly seeing nothing but him.

"Really? She has?" Jacob questioned, a smirk playing on his lips at the possibilities and completely oblivious to what was happening just in front of him.

Emmett's own secretary was definitely his type as well, but he hadn't thought she would be interested, since she had barely answered him this morning when he had first introduced himself and tried to talk to her.

"Excuse us!" Edward breathed out unceremoniously, grabbing for Bella's hand and barely sparing Jacob a second glance.

"Hey! _rude_ much, Cullen, are we?... I was actually _talking_ to her!" Jacob called out as Edward all but dragged Bella behind him a second later and hurried into the house, but neither Bella nor Edward heard him anymore.

Edward didn't stop despite Bella's weak protests to slow down, until they were upstairs and in their bathroom, having carefully secured the locks on both that room door and the bedroom behind him, so no one would even think about bothering them for a while.

Once inside the safety of those four walls, Edward picked Bella up and laid her on the bathroom countertop, before starting to pace before her, his eyes never leaving her stomach though, like he was trying to look right through her and see again what he had seen on the card he had just let fall near her on the counter.

"Edward?" Bella whispered when after a few minutes, he still hadn't done anything else yet. "A-Aren't you going to say anything?"

Her voice sounded uncertain and clearly nervous, as if she wasn't so sure all of a sudden that Edward felt the same way she did at the thought of having a baby, and that was enough for Edward to finally snap out of it.

"Are you s-sure?" he cupped her face in his hands and queried throatily, needing to hear her confirm verbally what he had glimpsed at on the ultrasound she had added to her card.

"Yes!" Bella just nodded, unable to say anything else. Not with the way he was now looking at her.

"A-Absolutely sure?" Edward insisted despite her affirmation. One more reassurance that all this wasn't a beautiful dream, that was all he needed.

"Yes, Edward… you've seen it…" Bella replied huskily, understanding his incredulity, for she had gone through the same only hours ago.

When the doctor had told her that the blood test she had taken the day before had revealed that she was indeed pregnant, she had not been sure she could really believe it. She had been so disappointed, and so many times, that she had known she wouldn't be able to bear another disenchantment. That was why she had asked for an ultrasound, to have it confirmed for sure and put all her fears to rest, and she had probably never been happier to see that Doctor Burrows, the mother of one of her students, was working today.

The woman had been all too glad to help Bella and make her pass that ultrasound, although Bella had made her promise to not talk about it with her son for now. She wasn't her doctor after all and had only done it as a favor to her, so she probably had no obligation to keep quiet, but Bella wanted Edward to be the first one to know this time.

"But how… I mean, I know _how_… but when?... I-I thought… the test…" Edward stuttered, a little confused, having still a hard time believing it, since they had done a test not so long ago and had thought she wasn't pregnant then.

Surely an ultrasound couldn't show if she was only what… a week or so pregnant, right? Could it? Ah, what the hell did he know after all!

"Apparently, just like the pill, pregnancy tests aren't a hundred percent accurate…" Bella revealed, having asked the same thing to Dr Burrows when she had confirmed the pregnancy. Having it not work was rare, but it did happen.

"How long… how far along are you then?" he gulped and stammered again, not so sure he even remembered how to speak.

"Around six weeks according to the doctor…" she replied softly, mesmerized by the way his eyes seemed to widen and mist over when he heard her.

"Six weeks…" Edward repeated in awe, before dropping to his knees in front of her and pulling her top up, so he could see her bare stomach. "Let me see!"

"Edward! There's nothing to see yet!" Bella let out a soft laugh at his action, but it all but turned into a sob when Edward ignored her protest and splayed his fingers over her midsection.

"Shh… of course there is…" he denied gently, his lips joining his hands in his caresses and leaving reverent kisses on her skin. "Hey, baby… I know you're in there…" he cooed in a breathy whisper, making Bella lose her fight against the tears.

"God, E-Edward …" she moaned out, as they slowly rolled down her cheeks, but she made no effort to brush them away, her fingers were too busy running through his hair and holding his face to her to do so.

"You're gonna be the most _loved_ little girl or little boy in the whole world, you know that?… I'm gonna spoil you so much… you just ask your sister…" he went on, like he could really be heard by what was not even considered a human being yet by some.

Edward didn't care however, it was _his_ baby in there, growing inside the womb of the woman he loved more than life itself, and even after having only known for a few minutes about the existence of that child, he could already feel the same unconditional love growing inside him.

Bella chuckled through her tears then, briefly thinking that he was insane, but all in all she guessed she couldn't blame him, because she felt the same exhilarating joy he seemed to be feeling.

"So… you're happy about it, aren't you?" she questioned a second later, although the grin he didn't seem to be able to wipe off his face was answer enough.

"Happy?" he parroted, still smiling like an idiot. "I'm over the moon!" he then confessed as he stood up, brushed her tears away and kissed her lips soundly. "Are you?" he asked then, his gaze softening when she looked back at him with so much love in her eyes, it made his chest hurt.

"You know I am, Edward!" Bella confirmed, framing his face in her hands and giving him a long, loving kiss. "A-Are you scared?" she couldn't help asking nonetheless as they parted, cursing herself a second later when she saw his smile falter slightly almost right away.

"A little...you?" he acknowledged, although he refused to let his fear damper the joy he felt at that instant.

Yes, he was scared and he would probably be every day until this baby would be with them and he would be able to hold it in his arms, but he was determined not to let that eat at them until the end of Bella's pregnancy.

They would just have to be careful, or even more careful than they would have normally already been, now that they knew that miscarriages didn't only happen to other people, and everything would be alright.

"A little, too, I guess… but we're going to be okay, right?" she whispered back and the vulnerability in her voice nearly brought Edward to his knees.

"Nothing's going to happen to you or this baby, Bella…" he cradled her face in a gentle but firm grip and vowed with such determination that Bella could do nothing but believe he was right. "I promise you… I'm going to be with you every second if I can this time… and I will take care of you two!... everything's going to be alright! I don't want you to worry, okay!"

"Okay… I trust you!" Bella nodded and murmured, burrowing into his warmth when he pulled her into his arms and held her for dear life.

She knew that Edward didn't have any real power over things and that if something had to happen, it would, no matter what they could do, but his reassurances and promises to be with her every step of the way were more than enough to appease her for now.

"We should celebrate this…" Edward suggested out of the blue after a while, nuzzling Bella's neck in a way that caused her to tremble from head to toes.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to do much drinking from now on, you know…" Bella remarked when he pulled away, just enough to look at her with that sparkle in his emerald eyes that said he was up to something.

"That wasn't exactly the kind of celebration I had in mind…" he confessed huskily, nibbling at her bottom lip just long enough for Bella to get the idea and then, before she could even answer, he had her up in his arms and was opening the bathroom door.

Bella gasped the second he lifted her off the counter, but she all too naturally wrapped her legs around his waist nonetheless and let him take her to their bed without much protest.

"God, I want you so much!" Edward groaned out as he lay on top of her, his lips taking hers in a hungry kiss that said as much as his words.

Bella was just as much into it as he could be himself, at least for a while, but when she felt his hand traveling up her thigh and drifting under her skirt, she seemed to get back to her senses. Or as much as she could, with what he was doing to her at least.

"Edward … E-Edward, we can't…" she protested feebly, knowing that if she didn't stop him now, there would be no way to stop him at all! "We have a house full of guests…" she reminded him, sure that he had forgotten since he kept sucking on her skin, like he had not heard a word of what she had said first.

"No, we have a _garden_ full of people… as far as I'm concerned, they're light years away from here… from us…" Edward countered shamelessly, obviously not caring more than that about what was happening outside, or the fact that sooner or later people were bound to wonder where they had gone.

"Edward… we really c-can't…" Bella reiterated, even when she knew it would be no use.

Her husband was obviously very horny, and she knew she was powerless to stop him when he was like that. There was only one thing that could when he was in such state, and that was to simply give in.

"Yes, we can… unless…" Edward trailed off awkwardly as a frightening thought entered his mind all of a sudden and he lifted his head from the crook of her neck. "We can, right?... I mean the doctor didn't say… I-I wouldn't want to hurt you… or the baby…" all playfulness left his face as he contemplated that possibility and though he would probably die a slow painful death if he couldn't touch her for the next seven months or so, he was ready to do it if it meant that both Bella and their child would be alright.

"No… no, contraindications… we're both fine…" Bella was quick to reassure him and her legs tightened reflexively around him when he tried to pull away from her. "We can make love…" she added huskily, not relishing more the idea of not being able to be with him during her pregnancy than he could himself.

Fortunately, the doctor had told her that it was okay when she had questioned her about it herself, as long as she was comfortable with it and didn't experience any pain during the intercourse. And pain was clearly the furthest thing from what she was feeling right now, or what she knew she would feel, if she let Edward finish what he had started.

Edward seemed to consider what she was saying a few seconds and when she saw him smile, she knew she had convinced him.

"You said it not me…" he answered slyly after a moment when he was sure there was no risks, getting back right on track and resuming his position on top of her almost right away then, though he did his best to not crush her. "I knew you wanted me!"

"I always want you!" Bella admitted breathlessly, getting lost in the sensation quite quickly again, although the thought of hitting him for being so smug wasn't that far from her mind either.

"God, baby… I've been waiting for this all day!" Edward moaned out, making quick work of getting her rid of her top and doing the same with his shirt in the next second, the groan he emitted when their naked skin touched at last reverberating loudly around them. "I've been _wanting_ you all day!"

"I know…me t-too…" Bella panted out, arching into his touch as he cupped her bare breasts -thank _God_, she hadn't been able to wear a bra under her backless top- and then trailed his lips down to suck gently on one. "E-Edward…"

"Hmm… you taste so good…" he sighed huskily, laving her skin with his tongue, taking his time to drive her crazy. "… always so _fucking_ good!"

He was succeeding quite well actually, and Bella was all but ready to beg him to end there the torture already when he drifted lower, dropping moist kisses along her ribs.

"My beautiful, _beautiful_ wife…" she heard him whisper then, and she would have smiled, if his next words hadn't made her suck in a breath instead. "Mother of my _children_… my little pregnant beauty…" his voice was hoarse as his lips left fleeting kisses over the expanse of her stomach now, the awe in his tone still so evident it caused Bella to swallow audibly, her throat suddenly dry.

Edward didn't seem to notice though, too busy he was 'talking' to her stomach.

"Daddy loves you… you know that, right?" he continued, like what he was doing was perfectly natural, or normal, and this time Bella couldn't help chuckling quietly.

"Edward, you're sweet but… it can't hear you yet!" she felt the need to point out, shaking her head at Edward's silliness.

"Oh, woman of little faith… of course she or… he can hear me… this baby knows who I am… it's my child after all…" Edward countered in a tone that seemed to say he couldn't believe she was saying such things.

"Yes, it _is_ your child… but trust me, Edward, _I_ am the biology teacher and I'm telling you… it can_not_ hear you yet… it's like physically impossible… it's too small… barely the size of one of your fingernails yet…" Bella explained, although she had no intention of going into a full biology lesson with him.

Truthfully, she loved his reaction and the fact that he was apparently as completely thrilled with the prospect of their child growing inside of her as she was herself.

"Okay… but it will, right?... once it's grown enough…" Edward questioned with a slight edge of disappointment, as he kept strumming his fingers ever so gently over her still flat stomach, probably trying to picture what the baby looked like right now after Bella's description.

"Yes, it will… well, that's the theory…" Bella reassured him, caressing his face and making him look up at her. "Our child will know you, Edward… and love you just as much as I do… you don't have to worry!"

Bella could only guess what this was all about. She would carry their child inside her womb for nine long months and therefore would always share a special kind of connection with him or her, something that Edward wouldn't be able to experience, but Janelle was the living proof that Edward didn't need that to be just as close to one of his children anyway.

From the get go, from the very second Janelle had opened her eyes and maybe more sensed her father than she had really seen him, something had passed between them, linking them in a way that nothing could ever break and Bella was sure that it would be just the same with this child as well.

"_Our_ child… our little baby… do you have any idea how much I like the sound of that?" Edward whispered gently, nuzzling against her stomach a few more seconds before he pulled himself up to his elbows and moved to be face to face with her again. "God, I love you… so much…"

His fingers threaded through the hair at her temple and he looked at her with so much reverence in his eyes, it nearly brought Bella to tears again. "Thank you, Bella!"

He didn't need to say more for Bella to know exactly what he meant. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me so happy. Thank you for this baby. She knew, because she was just as thankful for all of that, for _him_, as he could be.

"No, thank _you_!" she murmured back, moaning the next second when Edward nibbled along her jaw line. "Hmm, Edward… we still have guests, you know…"

"Is that a way to say we should hurry?" he laughed softly, moving to kiss her neck and shoulder blade.

"In essence… yes…" Bella panted out as Edward reached under her skirt to tug on her panties. "But not too much either…"

"Not too much…" Edward repeated almost gruffly, a little distracted by the task he was trying to accomplish.

It wasn't so easy with Bella fighting with the drawstrings on his knee-length shorts at the same time, but a few seconds later they both had what they wanted, although Bella was a little surprised when she tried to get rid of her skirt and Edward told her to keep it on.

She didn't have time to protest however, because Edward's fingers tracing her nether lips and slipping through her wetness made her forget about anything else.

"Baby, you're so ready for me!" he groaned out before sealing their lips in a hot, wet kiss that left Bella lightheaded.

"Then take me, Edward!" she moaned in return, wrapping her legs around his waist and urging him to make her his again. There was actually nothing in the world she wanted more than that at that moment. Guests be damned for now.

"Yes!" Edward grunted, the only thing he could do as he granted her her wish, and his of course, and entered her, his eyes nearly crossing once he felt her moist depths surrounding him completely.

He moved slowly at first, as if his newfound knowledge made him fear he could hurt her even despite Bella's earlier reassurances, until she made him understand in no uncertain terms that she was no fragile doll and 'needed him harder'.

Instead of feeling him pounding into her like she was used to when she would normally voice such request though, he rolled them over so she was the one on top.

"Ride me, baby!" he commanded in a serrated breath then, his hands instinctively going to bracket her hips to help her in her moves.

At least that was his intention, but the instant Bella felt his touch, she laced her fingers with his and pinned his arms over his head, intending on driving him crazy for a while if she could, now that she had the upper hand.

"Bella?" Edward croaked out as she hovered over him now and rocked her hips only ever so slightly into his, which apparently wasn't exactly to his liking at that instant.

He liked it slow like the next guy at times, but that was not what he wanted then. Besides, wasn't she the one who had been telling him not two minutes ago that she wanted him harder?

"You wanted me on top… now I'm the one setting the pace!" Bella moaned out, taking her sweet time, and Edward almost regretted having let her have control.

Of course he could probably release himself from her grip without much effort on his part if he really wanted to, he was stronger than she could be after all, but he let her have her way for a while, mesmerized by the ecstasy he could see etch on her face, only mere inches from his.

He certainly loved seeing the glazed look in her eyes, as she took him in an out of her body languorously. The flush that spread over her cheeks, as she worked to bring them both so much pleasure. The way she caught her bottom lip between her teeth when it became almost too intense, or how she tightened her fingers reflexively around his when it happened.

"God, you're beautiful…" he blurted out hoarsely before he could stop himself, trying to seek her lips, but Bella evaded him with a sexy chuckle.

"Yeah?" she uttered in a whisper, her eyes sparkling at his words, although she tried to play it down.

She certainly didn't see herself as extraordinarily gorgeous or even less sexy, but through his eyes, every time he looked at her in fact, she indeed felt like the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Baby…" Edward groaned out as his many attempts remained unsuccessful, his frustration growing by the second. "Come on, have mercy!"

"Like you usually have?" she teased in answer, picking up pace nonetheless, since truthfully she was actually torturing herself as much as she was torturing him.

"I need your mouth!" Edward growled roughly, briefly wondering how much more of this he could really take.

"Where?... _here_?" Bella demanded throatily, running her tongue along his jaw-line before she reached his ear and nipped gently at his earlobe. "Or maybe… _here_?" she relished in his groan of protest of course, knowing exactly where he wanted it. "What about _here_, baby?" she whispered a moment later, as she deliberately licked at the corner of his mouth, the brief teasing contact being finally enough to make Edward lose it.

With just enough strength to do what he wanted but not hurt her, he pushed on her hands and got free at last, his fingers immediately tunneling through her hair, grabbing a fistful of dark soft locks and bringing her lips to his for a punishing kiss.

His other hand traced her hipbone before reaching for her still covered bottom, and when he was sure he had her exactly where he wanted her, he drifted forward on the bed so he could anchor his feet on the carpeted floor and give himself some leverage.

"Two can play this game, love!" he all but roared out then as he started to pump inside of her, like that was the last thing he would do, and Bella couldn't do much more than gasp and moan at the sensation.

"E-Edward… god…" she cried out, but anything else she could have said was lost in his mouth again, his tongue darting out to meet hers and mimicking the movements of his lower body.

"You like that?" he asked raggedly when they came up for breath, his own eyes nearly rolling to the back of his skull at the amazing feeling.

God, nothing should feel this good!

"P-Please… Edward, please…" Bella's moans were getting even more desperate now, and she barely resisted the urge to scream her head off, when she felt Edward's grip her hips almost fiercely and start driving in and out of her so hard and fast she was convinced she would soon faint.

Fighting to get some air into her starving lungs, she sat up, the move sending Edward even deeper, much to both their enjoyment, and pressed her hands into his naked chest so she could have something to hold on to when she started to move almost as frantically as he could himself.

"Yeah… just like that, baby…" Edward encouraged her, thinking that there was probably nothing sexier in the world than his wife, wearing nothing but a short skirt, riding him like there was no tomorrow.

Perspiration coated her chest, giving her skin a shine that only turned him on more and he found he couldn't take his eyes off her.

She was truly the most gorgeous creature on this Earth, there was no doubt in his mind, he thought as his gaze lingered on her face, then drifted lower, like hypnotized by the way those firm mounds he loved so much jiggled with every one of her moves.

Edward of course loved Bella's breasts just like they were -oh, man, if he did love them- but there was no denying that the thought of her body experiencing particular changes, the thought of _them_ filling out in preparation to nourish _his_ child, was an incredible turn on.

The knowledge that they had accomplished what they had wished for for so long now surely didn't make him want her any less either, on the contrary, and Edward knew perfectly well that he wouldn't be able to last much longer with all those thoughts swirling inside his head.

Sitting up himself, he cupped her breasts and suckled gently on them, alternating between one and the other, until he had Bella crying out in bliss once more.

"God… Edward… I-I… I'm so close…" she whined out between gasps, her movements having no particular rhythm anymore. She just wanted to get there now. And fast.

"Yeah?" Edward panted himself, his lips traveling to her ear and breathing huskily to her. "Then let go, baby… let go for me… I want to feel you come all around me!"

His gentle coaxing had apparently the desired effect and he had to smother her completion sobs with his mouth, or she would have probably been heard by half the people who were downstairs.

Feeling her wet walls clench around his own sex was enough to make him follow her as well, leaving them both trembling in each other's arms. They actually only briefly parted, when even just the simple material of her skirt became too much for Bella and she pulled it over her head, in a haste to get rid of it now.

"Well… that was some celebration…" Bella was the first to talk again minutes later, effectively breaking the silence of the room as they still sat there for a while, still panting and clinging to one another.

"You can say that again." Edward concurred in a long breath, lying back down eventually and taking her with him, not quite ready yet to part from her.

Once completely on his back, he propped his hands behind his head and sighed contentedly, obviously very satisfied with what had just transpired.

Bella lifted herself off his chest where she had been lying only briefly when she heard him and couldn't help rolling her eyes as she saw him smirk like the cat that ate the canary, his gleaming eyes riveted on the ceiling.

"You're proud of yourself, aren't you?" she accused him and swatted at his shoulder, knowing her husband well enough to know exactly what was going through that head of his. His smile of course only grew wider at her words.

"Yep…" he said unrepentantly, but warding Bella's hands off when she tried to hit him again for his smugness. "I knew I would have you!"

After all, he had only been trying to convince her to find a moment alone about a dozen times during the course of the day, never giving up despite Bella making him understand that they couldn't, not when there were so many people around, but this was the proof that he had been right and always got what he wanted.

"You only had me because _I_ wanted you to…" Bella let him know and pulled completely away from him now, although she took no true offence in his affirmation.

No matter how many times she could indeed have protested, she had well known, too, that they probably wouldn't last the day without being together and ending just where they were. He just didn't need to know that now.

"Aww, are you mad at me now?" Edward stopped her before she could go too far and forced her to lie back down on him. "Come on, baby… don't be mad at me!" he cooed in her ear then, holding her tightly so she couldn't escape, no matter how hard she was trying to fight him off.

"Let me go!" Bella cried out between giggles when he started to tickle her and then rolled them over, so she was once again trapped under him, the sudden move making her gasp the next second, since he was still embedded inside her.

"Tell me you're not mad, my love!" Edward continued, pursing his lips and dropping apologizing kisses along her collarbone, kisses that caused Bella to involuntarily arch into him. "You know I can't stand to have you mad at me…" he finished more hoarsely, his hips rolling into hers before he could even realize he was doing it and stop himself, and they both groaned aloud when they felt him stir inside of her again.

"Don't… god, don't start something you won't be able to finish…" Bella warned him breathlessly, doing her best to not let herself be lured again by his languid movements.

It was easier said than done of course, but they really couldn't afford to stay in this room much longer, it was already a miracle no one had come pounding on their door and demanded to know what they were doing.

"Who said I won't?" Edward asked in a grunt himself, all too ready actually to do just that. And Bella knew he would, too.

She was determined to not give in this time however, even if it killed her, and with a strength she didn't even know she possessed, before Edward could even react himself, she had them rolling over again to find herself on top once more.

"_I_ say it!" she panted out and all but jumped off him this time, before he could make her change her mind, ignoring the groaned '_fuck, __Bella_' Edward emitted when he felt himself slip out of her all of a sudden, and even pushing him right back down when he attempted to sit up and catch her.

She couldn't let him even just graze her skin, or she knew she would be lost. It had already been hard enough doing what she had just done, she wasn't sure how long she could still be this strong. Probably not much longer actually.

"Bella, please…" Edward's quite desperate plea was almost her undoing. Almost.

God, what a woman had to do sometimes.

"Oh, no… you just stay right there!" she ordered rather sternly, making Edward pout like a little boy who understood he was being scolded for being really bad and would get punished if he disobeyed again.

"Now I'm going to go wash your smell off me… or everyone will know what we've been up to!" she announced a second later, when she was positive he had taken her seriously enough to not even think about trying anything and following her.

"Hey, I will have you know that you smell even better with _my_ smell on you… don't forget that, woman!" he propped himself on his elbows and cried out, sounding slightly miffed even if he really wasn't, but then he found himself groaning all over again when he saw Bella prance around the room, _naked_, apparently in search of the clothes she had been wearing earlier.

"Right, Edward!" she just replied, seemingly unaware of what she was doing and _what_ that was doing to _Edward_, and she couldn't help rolling her eyes when she picked up her now creased skirt and realized that there was no way she could wear it again like that.

Well, hopefully no one would realize that she had needed to change though, or she would kill her dear husband, she thought as she chose another one, as similar to this one as she could find it, and picked up new clean underwear as well, since the last ones were probably still 'soaked', thanks to that same husband.

A string of curses escaped Edward's mouth as he saw her bend practically at the waist to grab for her skirt and discard it in the next second and he wondered if she was torturing him on purpose, or trying to make him pay for something.

Bella then heard him growl something along the line of she trying to kill him, and when she turned around one last time before entering the bathroom, she couldn't help giggling almost evilly. That boner sure looked like it hurt, she thought as she saw him twitch the longer she looked at him.

Not long after he noticed her eyeing him with an eyebrow raised, as if to ask if there was a problem, Edward was throwing himself back on the bed and covering his face with both hands, and Bella couldn't have stopped the laugh that bubbled forth even if she had been paid for it.

"Don't mind me, I'm just gonna… lie here for a moment longer…" Edward muttered gruffly, mumbling something the next second about how all women were 'teases', even his own wife.

Letting him be for now, Bella pulled her hair up in a high bun and stepped into the shower right afterwards, knowing that this would have to be quick, mainly to wash the sweat off her body actually, and that she didn't have time to linger. Part of her felt bad for Edward of course, but he had brought it upon himself after all. He should know by now that it didn't pay to be too greedy.

Only minutes later, she was exiting the shower cubicle and drying off when Edward himself entered, still sporting a quite prominent erection.

"You're proud of yourself, aren't you?" he threw her earlier words back at her when he saw her unable to hide a smile, but then couldn't help but yelp when she slapped his bare ass playfully with her '_yep_' as he passed by her to freshen up himself.

"You will pay for that… you know that?" Edward promised as he rubbed his cheek, glared at her, and then stepped into the shower.

"Turn the water to cold, baby… I'm sure it will pass!" Bella teased in answer, apparently not more fazed than that by the threat.

She knew she would probably enjoy whatever way he would make her pay more than he would want her to anyway.

"Funny girl!" Edward grunted back as he gave his erection a slight tug, but did as she said in the next second.

He resisted the urge to cry out when the cold water hit his skin, surely not wanting to give Bella the satisfaction of seeing he had listened to her, but the effect was almost immediate and Edward was at least grateful for that.

Trying to ignore herself that Edward was standing only mere feet away, water sluicing over his hot body, Bella pulled on her clothes hurriedly before the sight made her lose her mind again and she offered him to give him a hand with his problem instead.

Once she was dressed, she turned to the mirror and couldn't help but gasp when she was met with her flushed and quite disheveled reflection. The shower had apparently not helped with that, since she had not wanted to wet her hair.

After having freed her long mane, she picked up a comb and tried to arrange her appearance the best she could, but she soon realized that that wouldn't be enough.

Stepping to the sink then, she turned the tap on and splashed cold water on her face, dabbing more particularly at her cheeks in the hope that they would lose some of the rosy complexion that was a dead giveaway of their earlier activities.

Seeing Edward stepping out of the shower didn't help any either, and she was almost glad to see him dry off and dress about as quickly as she had herself.

Edward was actually just putting on his shoes when he heard her sigh and he looked up to see her staring at herself with a slight frown marring her forehead.

"You really look…" stepping behind her, he started with a mischievous glint in his eyes, but Bella ramming her elbow into his side maybe a little harder than she had meant to was enough to make him swallow his next words.

"If you say '_fucked_', so help me, Edward…" she threatened as she sent him a death glare through the bathroom mirror and watched him wince in pain.

"God, freshly _loved_… that's what I was going to say…" Edward chuckled and amended while rubbing his side, although Bella was no fool and knew perfectly well that had not been his first intention.

There was no sugarcoating it here, however you wanted to look at it, she indeed looked… well, _fucked_. Thoroughly fucked and very well pleased actually and everyone would know it, if she couldn't do something about those traitorous cheeks.

"And I'd love you some more if we didn't have a house full of guests…" she rolled her eyes as she heard Edward's next sentence and briefly wondered if her husband didn't suffer from some form of personality disorder.

"Oh, _now_ that suddenly concerns you?" she accused with a disbelieving look, but her gaze softened considerably and almost reflexively when Edward pressed against her back and kissed a sensitive spot behind her ear.

"As I see it… if I want to… _love_ you again today…" the way he trailed off before finishing his sentence was enough for both of them to know that he wasn't picturing some gentle, tender lovemaking at that instant, and Bella found herself pinching his arm in retaliation for making such naughty thoughts cross her mind so soon after what he had already led her to do today. "I need them gone… and they won't go anywhere if they don't see us come back!"

The truth was that Edward would gladly forget anyone in the world existed but the two of them if he could, but he knew well that was not a possibility. Further _celebration_ would have to wait tonight, when everyone in this house would be asleep, particularly his in-laws and no one else could hear him make Bella scream for more.

"You're one sick guy, Edward Cullen!" Bella declared, but strangely enough there was more affection behind those words than there really was any scolding.

"But you love this sick guy, right?" Edward questioned rhetorically as their gazes met through the mirror, already knowing the answer to that question.

"You know I do!" Bella turned her head and looked up at him before cupping the side of his face and kissing him softly, but then she moved to splash some more water on her own face again, which caused Edward to all but growl and grab for her hands.

"Stop it…" he said, turning her around and brushing strands of hair behind her ears when she was facing him again, the tenderness of the gesture in contradiction with how abruptly he had actually brought her around. "There's nothing wrong with the way you look… I _love_ that look on you… I love that _I_ can make you look like that…" he probably couldn't have sounded more possessive or caveman if he had wanted to, but he couldn't help the way he felt either.

"I'm sure you do, macho man!... but I don't want to go out there looking like a billboard ad for the Edward Cullen's 'sex is _so_ good, don't be ashamed' campaign!" Bella snorted and joked, briefly imagining just what kind of slogan he would think about putting under a picture of her looking so… 'freshly loved'… if he ever wanted to show his handy work to the world... '_Edward__Cullen__ comes, he loves… he _always_ conquers… your satisfaction is guaranteed_'… or maybe something more simple… '_She tried it, __Edward__Cullen__ made sure she loved it._'... yeah, she was sure he could probably come up with about anything!

"Like I would even ever think about 'advertising' _you_ and giving all those other guys in the world any idea… I'm not that crazy!" Edward contradicted with a frown, certainly not liking the idea of any other man ogling _his_ wife. "You're mine… no one else's!" he growled even more possessively then, taking her lips in a bruising kiss that unfortunately only fueled Bella's desire again.

It was insane she knew, how he could get her all hot and bothered with a simple touch or kiss, but there was not much she could do about that. He had always had that effect on her and she doubted that would ever change.

"Edward… g-guests…" was all she was able to utter, when she felt Edward's tongue tease her skin once more a moment later and she acknowledged that it definitely had the power to make things get out of control quite quickly again.

"Okay… okay, you're right… come on, let's go… or I'm not getting out of this room until tomorrow…" Edward sighed rather loudly at last, reluctant to have to stop yet knowing that he needed to be reasonable, but when Bella was ready to step back and go, she could only gasp as he picked her up and strode out of their bedroom.

"Edward? What are you doing?" she demanded as she held on to him and had no choice but to wrap her arms and legs around him, if she didn't want to fall.

"I got you up here… it's only normal I get you down!" Edward answered casually, tightening his own grip on her when they reached the stairs and he proceeded to take them, very carefully, one by one.

"Edward… I can perfectly walk on my own!" Bella remarked, although truthfully, she didn't mind that much Edward's action.

"I know you can… but humor me, okay?" he retorted himself as he crossed the first floor hallway and pulled away from her just enough to give her a smile that let her know how much that meant to him.

If he could hold her in his arms a few more minutes, he was certainly not going to refuse himself that.

"Is this what I have to expect for the next seven months or so?" Bella couldn't help asking softly then, which made Edward's smile grow even wider. Apparently he liked to be reminded of her pregnancy as much as she could already like talking about it herself.

"Pretty much, yeah… I'm going to pamper you so much, you'll have to beg me to stop!" he told her seriously enough for Bella to know that he was certainly not past doing just that. "Do you mind?"

"Not in the least…" Bella breathed out just as they finally reached the kitchen backdoor and found themselves only feet away from the garden where everyone was probably waiting for them.

Edward put Bella down then, more because stepping outside with her in his arms like that would draw too much attention on them at once than because he really wanted to, but when she reached for the door handle, he couldn't help stopping her in her move.

"Wait… just one more kiss… before I have to behave…" he pleaded in a soft whisper, his forehead resting against hers as his hands framed her beautiful face.

"You, behave? Since _when_?" Bella snorted laughingly, but that didn't stop her from already standing on her tiptoes to grant him that kiss.

"Don't lie to yourself, sweetheart… you _love_ when I don't…" his words were only a hoarse murmur against her lips, making Bella long for his touch, and not for a second did it cross her mind to bother denying his words because doing so would indeed be lying.

"Shut up and kiss me!" she all but ordered in answer instead, her tongue tracing his bottom lip to give him more incentive, if he needed any.

"Gladly!" Edward groaned and sealed his lips to hers at last, leaving Bella so completely dazed, she was actually grateful when he took her hand once they parted interminable seconds later and literally guided her outside, because she wasn't so sure she would have been able to find the way on her own after such torrid kiss.

Man, that guy surely knew how to kiss you senseless!

Edward tried to make as discreet a reentry as he could of course, but apparently they had been gone long enough for Alice to notice and spot them as soon as they reappeared, and he wasn't more surprised than that to see her comment on it, rather loudly, almost the second they joined her and the group she was with.

"Where the hell have you two been?" she exclaimed, without even caring if there were children around who could hear her.

"Inside!" Edward replied all too casually, which only made Alice stare harder at them, an eyebrow raising, as if to say '_you're going to have to do better than that, buddy!_'.

"Inside doing _what_?" she inquired, her gaze drifting from Edward to Bella and back, and she got her answer when she saw her best friend bite her lip while an endearing blush all of a sudden colored her cheeks. Add to that the fact that Bella had apparently changed clothes and Edward's hair was now damp and it was really a no-brainer. "Oh, no… don't even tell me… I can't believe you two!" she gaped at them, thinking that those two had no shame whatsoever, but the smile on her lips seemed to say that she understood them completely.

After all she would certainly not mind getting some action of her own from the hunk sitting across from her, although they clearly weren't anywhere near that stage again right now.

"Mind your own business, Brandon!" Edward threw back, the grin never leaving his face though, as he stepped behind Bella and gathered her close, circling his arms around her waist and smoothing his hands protectively over her stomach.

Alice could rib him all she wanted, or question him until she was blue in the face, nothing could put a damper on his good mood. Not today!

Bella herself hadn't said a word so far, but the matching smile on her own face as she laced her fingers with Edward's was enough to get the other people present just as suspicious as Alice could be herself.

"Jeez… must have been some damned good sex for you to be… _glowing_… like that…" Jasper, never one to bother with niceties, commented not long after, actually enjoying the way both Edward and Bella blushed even harder when they heard him.

"Shut up!" Edward half-growled, half-laughed good-naturedly, taking advantage of the fact that Jasper was sitting not too far from where he and Bella stood to smack, and not so gently, the side of his head.

"Hey, don't hit him for telling the truth…" Jacob rejoined in a laugh, thinking himself that he had never seen anyone 'glow' that much after sex, no matter how good said sex could be. Maybe he could get some pointers here, although he didn't really relish the idea of having to ask Bella's husband for them. "Seriously, dude… what's up with that?"

Bella wasn't particularly at ease, being the center of attention, and even less when their friends' inquiries seemed to have garnered even more attention than she could wish for, but she couldn't help smiling affectionately at Edward when he nearly started jumping up and down, like a kid who was the only one in a huge secret and couldn't take not revealing it to everyone any longer, and asked her if he could tell them.

Truthfully, Bella hadn't really given any thought as to when they would break the news to their folks, but Edward's '_please… pretty please… can I? can I_?" and the way he almost begged her to let him tell them was what did it in the end.

It coincided just with the Swans and Cullens coming to join them as well, asking what was going on themselves, and the new arrival made Bella think that maybe it was meant to be. At least everyone she would want to know was already there.

"Go ahead!" Bella whispered softly to Edward as he looked down at her hopefully, his eyes sparkling like she had rarely ever seen them.

"I love you!" he breathed back devotedly, before placing a gentle kiss on her soft lips and turning to their families and friends again. "I… sh-she… we…"

"Spit it out, man… you _what_?" Jasper urged him on, as Edward stuttered uncharacteristically and definitely for too long for his liking.

Whatever it was, it had to be some news for Edward to be apparently ready to burst from joy one second and near tears the next.

"We-We're having a baby!" Edward blurted at last, squeezing Bella to him and using the same words she had earlier to let him know herself. "I-I'm gonna be a father… I'm gonna be a father!" he exulted joyfully then, unable to hide any longer the fact that he was probably happier at that instant than he had ever been in his life.

A chorus of 'oh, my god' and happy cries echoed around them then, as the reason for their obvious happiness became suddenly clear for everyone and both Bella and he were almost immediately engulfed in hugs and congratulated, but it was the words of one now suddenly pouting little girl, hands on hips and frown in place, that had most women explode in teary laughter and men chuckling loudly as they turned to see Janelle standing behind them.

Janelle, who apparently had only heard the end of Edward's revelation and didn't know what to make of it.

"But… you're already a father, silly!... you're _my_ father!"

**TBC…**

**Alright, how was it? **

**Just wanted to remind you that there is only the epilogue left and then we'll be done with this story… it feels weird honestly, but yeah, I guess it had to finish at some point right? Don't worry though, if you still needed a little bit more, it's going to be a very long epilogue (it's actually 71 word pages long) so stay tuned and see you soon! **

**Thanks for reading! **


	19. Epilogue

**Author:** Rebecca

**Title:** Before it's too late.

**Rating:** Rated **M**

**Pairing:** Bella and Edward. No vampires. AU

**Disclaimer:** See first parts.

**AN**: well, this is it… the last chapter!

**Flora73**: it's one of my favorites as well ;) thanks once more for reading and for always reviewing, it meant a lot!

**Bunch2009**: yep she is… glad you liked it… thanks as well!

**Jc types**: I'm sad, too, trust me… I actually really liked this Edward and Bella, even with all their communication issues lol they were fun to write! Hope you'll like the epilogue as well and thanks for your constant support in this adventure! ;)

**I-CAN'T-THINK-OF-A-TWILIGHT-NAME**: well, here you have it, all 71 pages of it… hope you'll like it, too! Thanks for your review!

**Spannieren**: thanks for the review as well! This chapter is kind of cute, too lol

For everyone else who's reading, thanks for that, I can't believe this story is reaching the 20000 hits, and while it surely won't ever reach the thousands of reviews some stories around here have garnered, I'm proud of that number and the few faithful readers and reviewers I had!

Enjoy!

**EPILOGUE**

The feel of fingers softly caressing her face was the first thing Bella registered as she slowly became aware of her surroundings. She blinked a couple of times and then, she couldn't help smiling tenderly as she came fully awake and saw Edward, squatting before her, a look of pure love in his eyes as he gazed down on her.

"Hey, sleepyhead." he whispered softly, his fingers brushing away a few tendrils of hair behind her ear, like he had done a million times before already.

"Hey, yourself." Bella sighed just as quietly, closing her eyes almost instantly at the sensation. "What time is it?" she found herself asking distractedly a few seconds later, not sure she wanted to get up just yet.

Staying in bed all day had seemed more and more tempting lately and apparently, today so far, wasn't so different.

"Just a little before eight... you told me to wake you up, remember?" Edward reminded her gently, when he noticed her reluctance to keep her eyes open more than a few seconds at a time. "Janelle is about to leave." he then added, remembering himself that that was why he had come upstairs in the first place.

He knew that no matter how tired Bella could be, she wouldn't want to miss saying goodbye to their daughter before she left for school and as much as he wished he could let her sleep a little longer, he knew that Alice wouldn't be able to wait much longer if they didn't want Janelle to be late.

At a little more than eight months pregnant already, Bella wasn't able to drive anymore -although she liked to remind Edward every time she could that she would, too, if _he_ hadn't gone and suggested to her doctor that she convinced her she refrained from driving if she could do otherwise- and so their friends and family had been put to contribution and took now turns taking and bringing back Janelle to and from school when Edward couldn't himself.

"Oh, okay…" Bella sighed still somewhat tiredly, before giggling when Edward nuzzled her neck. "Don't start already!"

"Start what?" he asked all too innocently, but just ruined it all when he ran his tongue over her collarbone the next instant, causing Bella to moan before she could stop herself.

"Edward!" she scolded him, thinking that he was definitely being cruel, considering he had to know this couldn't go anywhere.

"Hmm…"

"T-Too close!" Bella tried to push him away before he could do more damage than he already had with a few simple touches, but her dear husband was nothing if not persistent.

"Not close enough…" he groaned back, knowing that she was probably right and that it wasn't a good idea to start anything, but unable to help himself for all that.

It had been two weeks, one day and close to ten hours since he and Bella had last made love and he was certainly feeling every second of it. Not that it had really been by choice, but per suggestion of Bella's doctor at one of her last visits after Bella had admitted to experiencing some discomfort during the intercourse now, they had thought it safer to abstain until after the baby's birth. Which wouldn't be until another two weeks and six days exactly, if everything went as planned at least of course.

Yes, _torture_, that was what it was to have to stay away from Bella. Or as 'away' as they had to, of course, because they had certainly found new ways to compensate that as best as they could.

Hearing Bella sigh his name once more however, made Edward realize that he should probably not 'harass' her so early in the morning and learn to control his hormones instead, but that didn't mean that it was in any way an easy task.

"Sorry…" he breathed out eventually, brushing a quick apologetic kiss over the upper swell of one breast that was picking above the hem of the wife-beater she had borrowed from him and was now wearing to sleep. "How are you feeling this morning?" he asked then, straightening up far enough to be able to look into her eyes and see for himself that everything was really alright with her.

He tried to keep the worry off his voice, but fact was that Bella hadn't been feeling all so well these last few days and he couldn't help himself.

"I feel fine." Bella was quick to reply reassuringly, her hand tenderly caressing the side of his face.

She actually loved that he worried so much and was always hovering around just to make sure she didn't need anything, but at only three weeks now from the birth prevision, she knew that what she was feeling was far from being abnormal. The baby had been kicking a fuss almost relentlessly for a couple of days now and she had been feeling a few cramps as well, but beside that, all facts considered, she was feeling pretty okay.

"You sure?" Edward insisted nonetheless, lacing his fingers with hers and bringing them to his lips.

"Yeah, _sure_!" Bella confirmed with a smile before trying to sit up, without much success unfortunately. "Help me."

"Up… you go!" Edward feigned to have to struggle as he held on her hands and helped her roll over and stand up, but then he couldn't stop himself from chuckling when Bella hit his arm in retaliation.

"Not funny, Edward!" she glared at him for a few seconds, but then her gaze softened considerably when Edward cradled her close.

"I'm kidding and you know it… you're beautiful…" he cupped her face and gifted her with a kiss that curled her toes and would have had her pushing him back on their bed and ravishing him thoroughly in the next second, if she hadn't been so pregnant she was sure she wouldn't have been able to pull it off.

Instead so, she tried to leave his arms, but Edward stopped her before she could move too far.

"Where are you going?" he asked her before he could think about it twice, regretting it almost instantly when he realized that he was probably being much too protective and that too early in the morning for Bella's liking.

"Bathroom… unless you want to go there and do that for me, too?" Bella replied but where Edward expected to hear scolding or irritation in her voice, he found none, most likely because he understood Bella knew he would do it, too, if that weren't a total impossibility.

After all, he had been that way all through her pregnancy. Doing everything he could to make her life easier and his best so she wouldn't have to do anything herself if he could help it and so that she could concentrate her own energy on taking care of herself and their child instead, and although she felt like she was going stark crazy because of it at times, she couldn't even find it in her to resent him, or be irritated with him because she knew that it stemmed from a good intention.

Edward was compensating, she knew that. Trying to do his best to make up for all the things he thought he had done wrong in the past, all the time he had not been by her side when she had needed him before. She understood that all too well, and that was why she didn't say a thing, even when sometimes she thought it was really too much.

Truthfully, Edward had spent about every minute he could of her pregnancy with her, literally at her beck and call, only parting from her when he had no other way to do otherwise, but Bella surely couldn't complain, because consequently, they had probably never been closer than they were at the moment, or had been all through her pregnancy.

Bella had actually only needed to put her foot down once, when after a week of her not feeling so well and staying at home, Edward had literally planted himself in the back of her classroom the first day she had been back at school, with laptop and all, like that was perfectly normal, just so he could keep an eye on her and be sure she was alright.

Bella had not even noticed him at first, what with all her students filling her classroom at the same time, but she hadn't been into her lecture two minutes when she had realized that half her students, mostly girls actually, hadn't been paying the slightest attention to what she was saying, obviously more interested in whatever was happening in the back and whoever was sitting there.

When she had eventually spotted Edward, she hadn't even known if she should just go and kiss him breathless because she actually thought it was kind of sweet that he worried and cared so much, or just hit him for not having discussed his foolish idea with her first and being so protective. _Too_ damned protective at times, really.

Keeping a smile on her face for her students' sake, she had all but ordered her dear husband outside, ignoring the appreciative sighs and giggles his crossing the room elicited, and had done her best to not let her anger and embarrassment get the best out of her. The last thing she had wanted of course was to yell at Edward and be heard by the whole school, but she couldn't let him act like she needed constant babysitting from him either.

Edward had tried to protest of course, arguing that it was just for his own peace of mind and that he never meant to make her feel like he thought she couldn't take care of herself, but when Bella had told him that though she appreciated his obvious concern, that was _exactly_ how he made her feel, Edward had had no choice but to back off. He didn't like it, didn't like to have to leave her alone, even when he knew that it wasn't exactly as if he really had a say in it and she needed to work, but the last thing he wanted was to piss her off in her condition.

It had been reluctantly so then, but Edward had agreed to leave and let her do her job, even if Bella had had to promise him that she would call him the very second she started feeling ill again, or she thought that anything was wrong with the baby.

Fortunately, everything had gone alright that day and the following ones and Bella hadn't needed to place that call, but she knew that Edward had still kept worrying almost every day she had been working until the doctor had finally put her on maternity leave.

He would certainly again today, despite his efforts to hide it. She wasn't working anymore but she needed to get to the school nonetheless, even if it would only be for a few hours.

Every year, the school was having a fundraising, the benefits of it going to different associations that came in help to children battling with various diseases, and like any other year, Bella had been actively helping, even with Edward's protests that for once, she should let someone else take care of it.

It had actually taken some time and a lot of persuasion on her part, but Bella had been able to convince Edward nonetheless of how important it was for her to participate like anyone else, even despite her condition, or the fact that _he_ was convinced she would pop any minute now and she didn't need the added stress helping organizing everything and making sure everything went well could cause on her.

Bella was in fact sure that Edward was actually counting the hours until it was all over and she would finally be able to really rest, but she would be lying if she said that part of her wasn't feeling the same way and wasn't glad as well to know that it would be over in only two more days.

Edward obviously remembered that, too, if the way he was behaving now was any indication, Bella thought as she exited the bathroom and saw Edward opening the windows while whistling in time with the music playing on the radio, looking more relaxed than she had seen him be in a while.

The instant he saw her, he grinned at her and walked to her, making Bella giggle at his antics.

"_I'm looking at you while you're sleeping here beside me…Oh, mere words can't explain the love I have inside…_" he looked down at her mischievously as he reached her, swaying and singing along Lee Ryan's voice, and causing Bella to wonder how he even knew the lyrics to that song. "_It's more than just a physical thing, I know… It's something like a spiritual connection… I feel it in my soul, heart and mind… _"

"Edward?... _what_ are you doing?" Bella couldn't help asking him as he reached for one of her hands and pulled her to him.

"Come on, baby… dance with me!" he coaxed her gently as he tried to make her move, but Bella didn't seem that eager to follow his lead. "_The sweetest thing is what you are… From you, I'll never be too far… Please, say forever you will stay beside me... _"

"Edward…" she groaned as his hands descended to her hips and he all but forced her to roll them in time with his despite her obvious reluctance, or the fact that her now _huge_ belly was definitely getting in the way.

_**You're my past, my future  
My all, my everything**_

_**My six in the morning when the clock rings  
And I open up my eyes to a new day **_

"Seriously… where is your sense of adventure, honey?" Edward demanded with a teasing smile, before he continued singing to her and started to dance all around her, his hands never once leaving her body however. "_My laughs, my frowns… My ups, my downs… It's a feeling that you get… When you know that something's true… When I think of love I think of you… _"

"At this hour of the day?... somewhere under those covers!" Bella retorted, eyeing her bed with longing and fighting with herself to not push Edward away so she could go and crawl back under the probably still warm sheets.

"Come on, for me… you know you want to…" Edward encouraged her even despite her protests, aware that though it was still timidly and she was probably not conscious of it herself, she was slowly moving to the music on her own now nonetheless.

"Edward… this is ridiculous… and I look horrible right now… and… and I-I just…" Bella started once more, but was cut off by the tender kiss Edward placed on her lips almost as soon as she did.

"Uh-huh… _You're _beautiful_ like the colors of the rainbow… Warm hearted like the rays of the sun on a summer day… _" Edward breathed out to her, putting emphasis on the 'beautiful' and Bella knew he meant the words, even if they weren't really his own. "_And all I got to do is look into your eyes to lose myself… You're the substance of my dreams, epitome of woman… The only one I truly call mine… _"

Unable to resist him any longer, she didn't even protest when he caught her hand this time and twirled her around, soft giggles escaping her lips when she ended up plastered to him when he was done with her, her back to his front, as they finally moved to the music completely in sync.

"_The sweetest thing is what you are… From you, I'll never be too far… Please, say forever you will stay beside me… _" Edward murmured into her ear as he kept swaying and rubbing against her, one of his hands holding hers while the other caressed her swollen belly lovingly, the tenderness in his voice causing Bella to sigh contentedly. This song could definitely have been written for them, because there wasn't any doubt in their mind that that was exactly how they both felt about each other. Edward was her world, just like she knew she was his. "_You're my past, my future… My all, my everything… My six in the morning when the clock rings… And I open up my eyes to a new day… My laughs, my frowns… My ups, my downs… It's a feeling that you get… When you know that something's true… When I think of love I think of you…_"

They were both so absorbed in what they were doing that neither of them even noticed the little girl observing them from the doorway now, her eyes wide as saucers as she saw her father turn her mother around once more and start to dance up and down in front of her, his head and shoulders rolling from left to right, before he stopped and kissed her stomach, while grinning like a demented fool.

_**You're my past, my future  
My all, my everything**_

_**My six in the morning when the clock rings  
And I open up my eyes to a new day **_

_**My laughs, my frowns  
My ups, my downs **_

_**It's the feeling that you get  
When you know that something's true **_

_**When I think of love I think of you**_

[ **When I think of Love** ~ Copyright © **Lee Ryan**]

"Daddy?" Janelle's voice sounded half-scared, half- horrified, but it was enough for Bella to break from her thoughts and finally became aware of her presence. "Aunt Alice was right… you're really too weird sometimes…" Janelle continued as Edward eventually turned around and noticed her himself, only to find her looking at him like she thought he had suddenly gone crazy.

Not knowing what else to do, he turned the radio off and smiled somewhat sheepishly at her, but the smile quickly slipped off his lips when he heard what Janelle muttered under her breath next. "And I think I'm scarred for life."

Bella had to stifle a giggle when she saw Edward gaping at their daughter now, but she decided to not address the matter for the time being. She knew all too well what he could be thinking at that moment. She had had the same thoughts herself not two days ago after all, when Janelle had told her that she didn't need to be behind her for everything anymore because she was a big girl now and would be a big sister as well soon.

"Hey, sweetie!" Bella whispered as she squatted down to her daughter's level and embraced her a few seconds, before releasing her with a soft tender smile. "You're ready to leave?"

"Yes… Aunt Alice is waiting downstairs… I just wanted to say bye to you… and to the baby…" Janelle answered as she wrapped her small arms around her mother, once Bella stood up again, placing a soft kiss on her belly, like she had been doing almost every morning since they had told her about the fact that she would be having a little sister or brother soon.

The day of her birthday, when they had sat her down to explain to her what was happening after she had heard Edward's comment about the fact that he was going to be a father, Janelle's first reaction had been to ask if the fact that they were going to have another baby meant that they would love her less now, but Edward's fervent promise that they could have half a dozen more kids and it still wouldn't change anything to the way they felt about her had apparently been enough to reassure her and make her suddenly happy and eager for the new arrival.

Edward had then remembered thinking months earlier, when he had had that conversation about babies with Janelle, that he would just let his teacher of a wife explain the facts of life to their daughter when the time would come, and _that_ was exactly what he did when Janelle had asked them how exactly the baby had gotten into her mother's womb and how it would get out.

That was perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of Edward's life and he had probably never been gladder than he had been once Janelle's inquisitive mind had stopped coming up with questions and had just accepted the fact that the baby was there, but that they would all have to wait to see it.

Since then she had asked a few questions, mostly when she saw Bella's belly expanding as the months progressed, but she had seemed satisfied with Bella's answers and Edward guessed that was the most important. That and the fact that Janelle was already taking her job of a sister to heart and couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

Edward and Bella had done their best anyway to make sure she never felt threatened by the baby, spending as much time with her as they both could and including her in their decisions concerning the baby when it was possible. Janelle had actually been the one choosing the nursery theme and motifs and had even helped Bella decorating it, once Jasper and Edward had been done painting it and putting in all the furniture and truthfully, Edward couldn't be prouder of his little girl.

Or was she really still his little girl?

Once done with Bella and the baby, Janelle turned to Edward, who hadn't moved a muscle since her comment about being scarred for life, to give him a hug as well.

"Bye, daddy." She said, not so oblivious to the fact that her father was apparently barely able to reciprocate her gesture, if her next comment was any indication. "Don't worry… I still love you, daddy…" she promised before sauntering out of the room, like she hadn't just left her father completely speechless.

Edward in fact didn't say a word until Bella called his name when she considered he had been looking at the place their daughter had just vacated for way too long already.

"Where did my baby go?" he whispered then almost miserably once he snapped out of it, having a hard time believing that this was the same little girl who not so long ago still thought her daddy was some kind of superhero and looked up to him for almost everything.

"She's growing up…" Bella acknowledged with a sad smile of her own, despite the fact that she knew there wasn't anything they could do about it.

It was inevitable, she knew that, even if she wished it could be otherwise. The fact that she was going to be a big sister seemed to have made Janelle grow way beyond her age, or way faster than they had expected her to, but she was definitely no baby anymore.

"I don't _want_ her to grow up!... and… and you know what?... she's really spending too much time with Alice!" Edward stuttered and Bella would have probably laughed aloud, if he hadn't actually sounded so indignant.

She knew he loved Alice like a sister himself and was as glad for her return as she could be herself, just as he was grateful for how helpful she had been since they had announced her pregnancy, but that didn't change anything to the fact that in a way Janelle _did_ look up to Alice and let her influence her.

Alice was who she was, eccentric sometimes and always too ready to voice her opinion, whether there were sensible ears around or not, but Bella knew that she did her best to be a good example for Janelle, moreover considering how much time they were spending together lately.

When she wasn't touring or recording, Alice was actually the one with the most flexible schedule and she was all too glad to take care of Janelle when Bella was feeling too tired, or Edward was just too busy juggling between his job and making sure that his wife rested as much as she possibly could.

Edward however, was starting to think that Alice's influence on their daughter wasn't such a good thing after all and was actually doing more damage than good. Janelle wouldn't have said such a thing to him, or about him only a year ago after all, and he knew all too well from where she had suddenly picked up such expression.

On top of that, Alice and Jasper were an item now -well, at least they were when they weren't biting each other's head off and swearing that they didn't want to hear about the other anymore- which naturally in turn led Janelle to spend too much time with him as well, and if separately they were okay, together, they were a lethal combination if he had ever seen one.

Edward was actually more and more considering the fact that he should have a long and in fact overdue conversation with both Alice and Jasper about what could be said and done in front of his 'baby' and what could surely _not_.

Yes, as much as he sincerely appreciated their help, he should really sit them down and talk to them and soon, before he wasn't even able to recognize his once sweet child anymore.

"It's not something we can stop, Edward… you know that… she _will_ grow up… whether we like it or not…" Bella stated wisely, all too aware that it wasn't in their power to stop the hands of time.

"You bet I don't like it!" Edward grunted with a pout that had Bella cupping his face and kissing him soundly for how cute she suddenly thought he looked.

"She will always be your little girl though… and you know how much she loves you!" she reassured him, wrapping her arms around his neck as best as she could.

Her statement elicited another displeased groan from Edward, but because he knew all too well that she would have an answer all ready to whatever he would still find to say about the matter, he decided to change the subject while he still could.

"Fine, whatever… now tell me, how is this little one doing this morning?" he asked softly all of the sudden, his hands splaying affectionately over her stomach.

"Well… either there are actually several of your spawns fighting in there… or your son is having a party on his own again... he's definitely very active, that's for sure…" Bella admitted as her hands joined his over their child and they both could feel just what she was talking about.

Despite how ridiculous he knew it was becoming, Edward couldn't help but smile widely once more as he heard her say '_your son_'. He had been doing so for weeks now and he didn't think that the feeling of bliss that invaded him every time he heard such words, or thought about _his son_ would ever stop.

He would have been just as happy if it had been a girl of course, but there was just something about the thought of having a little boy… something he couldn't even explain with words, but that filled him with incommensurable joy and made him the happiest man on Earth.

Truthfully, Edward and Bella had not even wanted to know the sex of the baby before its birth this time and as hard as it had been at times to not change their mind and just ask to be told, they had managed to hold onto their decision almost all through the pregnancy, but apparently their son had wanted it otherwise. During their last ultrasound and while the doctor had just been making sure everything was alright, _he_ had just been there, 'displaying' his family jewels for all the world to see and of course Edward couldn't have missed it even if he had been paid for it.

"_Oh, yeah… that's my son alright_!" he had exclaimed with the shittiest grin Bella had ever seen him sport, when she had asked the doctor herself if what she was seeing was really what she thought it was.

After that, there had been no way to stop Edward from raving about all he planned to buy to his son, or to do with him once he would be old enough, and Bella couldn't even feel disappointed over the fact that they wouldn't have the surprise like they had first wanted it. Seeing Edward so ecstatic over the news had just erased it all and if she had always said that the only important thing was for their child to be and stay healthy, she would actually be lying if she said that she hadn't wished herself for the opportunity to give Edward the son she knew he wanted so much.

"I think we have a future football player in there!" Edward said playfully, quite unable to keep the edge of pride off his voice despite his best efforts.

"Well, yes, _apparently_… but honestly I don't think I appreciate that much having my guts almost constantly kicked…" Bella admitted with a small grimace, but her frown almost immediately turned into a soft smile when Edward took both of her hands in his and moved to their bed with her, sitting down himself while she stood between his parted legs.

"Aww… you're hurting mommy, sweetie… what have I told you about hurting mommy, huh?" Edward cooed softly, talking to the baby like he was right there with them already, and if she hadn't seen him do so every day since he had learned about her pregnancy and wasn't by then completely used to it, Bella would have certainly rolled her eyes, or thought he had lost it.

As it was, she let him be and do his 'thing', not even minding the fact that she could barely hear a word of what he was saying after that. She had stopped really listening anyway after that time she had laughed over something Edward had said and he had told her that 'if she didn't mind, that was a private conversation he was trying to have with his child'.

"I'm starting to think Janelle was right… you _are_ weird…" she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair, but couldn't help remarking nonetheless when he kept massaging her stomach and then pressed an ear against it, like he was actually waiting for an answer and wanted to make sure he wouldn't miss it.

All he got for his trouble however, was another kick that had _her_ wincing.

"Ah… but you love me anyway…" Edward turned enamored eyes up to her, apparently done with his daily tirade to his child and Bella couldn't help smiling down at him as well.

"Against my better judgment probably sometimes… I do…" she sighed softly, but the way she cradled his face between her hands and rested her forehead against his own contradicted completely her words.

"Love you, too…" Edward breathed out in answer, closing his eyes briefly when their lips met for a tender kiss.

They stayed like that for a moment, until Bella reminded Edward that if she didn't want to be late, they should better get showered now.

Edward was all too eager to comply of course and it was hand in hand that they moved to the bathroom, safe in the knowledge that there wouldn't be anyone to interrupt them today.

Once in, they undressed each other, the simple task made a little longer because they barely could keep their hands off each other, or help exchanging hungry kisses that surely didn't help any with their 'momentary imposed abstinence'.

It was with great reluctance so that Edward parted from her, just long enough to turn on the tap of the shower and then let Bella step in first, before joining her himself.

"Thank God this will soon be over… I don't think we'll be able to fit in here, _together_ much longer…" Bella couldn't stop herself from commenting as she noticed how little room they seemed to have to move now, what with her looking ten months pregnant instead of eight.

"What are you talking about? There's room for at least two more!' Edward contradicted with a chuckle as he reached for her shampoo and applied it to her hair once he considered she had wetted it sufficiently.

"With me looking like a whale? I doubt it!" Bella snorted herself, thinking he was definitely sweet but a terrible liar. They wouldn't be able to breathe in there, if they had to let two more people in.

"You do _not_ look like a whale!" Edward denied almost in a growl, wondering what he would have to do to really convince her of that.

It wasn't the first time he heard her say so, particularly in the last couple of weeks, but as far as he was concerned, that couldn't be further from the truth. In his eyes, Bella couldn't look more beautiful than she did while pregnant with his child and he only wished she could see herself as he saw her.

"Have you taken a look at me lately?... I'm so _fat_, it's not even funny anymore!" she lamented despite his words, almost ashamed in fact to be standing there naked with him.

She knew that he didn't care one way or another and that he loved her just the same, and she absolutely loved being pregnant herself, but she couldn't deny either that she had put on much more weight this time than she had during her first pregnancy, or that that fact had been bothering her more and more as the weeks progressed and she saw herself changing so much.

Gone were now most of her juvenile features and she really had a hard time recognizing herself when she looked at herself in the mirror at times, even when Edward kept telling her that she was exaggerating and that she really hadn't changed that much. Her cheeks were a little rounder than they had been a few months back maybe, but she was still as perfect to him as she had ever been.

"Stop it… you are absolutely beautiful…" Edward swore as he turned her around once he had helped her rinse the suds from her hair and then he tenderly framed her face. "… and do I need to remind you what happened the last time you said you were fat?" he then asked her teasingly, pleased to see her blush at the memories his words brought up.

-TWILIGHTTWILIGHTTWILIGHT-

_"Brings back memories, huh?" a soft whisper caressed her ear and pulled Bella from her thoughts, a faint contented sigh escaping her lips as she felt __Edward__'s arms wrap around her middle almost at the same time._

She let herself relax in his embrace a few seconds, before registering what he had said and frowning slightly.

"Memories? Of what?" she asked distractedly, wondering what he could be referring to, since she didn't remember having been to a 'party' like this, ever_!_

Last year, _Edward__ had gone alone since they had barely been talking at the time, and the year before, Janelle had been sick and they hadn't wanted to leave her in anyone else's care, so they hadn't come either._

"Doesn't it look a little like that frat party _Jasper__ dragged us to, our second year of college?" __Edward__ chuckled, as he saw the way some people were dancing only a few feet from where Bella had been standing when he had found her again._

The few minutes he had spent away from her had felt like hours already to him, but he knew he had no choice. Most of the people there were people he knew, whether they were lawyers themselves, or had been clients at one point or another. Clients and lawyers who had been invited to the main branch of his own office Christmas party and he had to 'mingle' among them, no matter how much he loathed having to leave Bella on her own at times. 

_After hours on her feet though, smiling at everyone that came greet her and __Edward__, Bella was feeling rather tired and __Edward__ didn't feel like imposing on her more conversation about contracts, courts and trials than necessary. At least when he could do otherwise._

"Oh, yes… now that you mention it… it does…" Bella answered, giggling herself when she remembered the famous party he was talking about, although she didn't know what could be worse: a room full of inebriated teenagers, or one full of completely intoxicated lawyers.

The latest had probably more 'class', but maybe that was what made it worse in the end. Seeing grown-ups in tuxes and cocktail dresses drinking and behaving like they were seventeen again was something Bella was sure you didn't get to see every day… and thank God for that. She was just glad to know that none of them would be driving after this, most of them having rooms booked for them here, or she just could imagine the carnage it would be on the road tonight.

"You feeling okay?" _Edward__ whispered tenderly as they both calmed down, his fingers trailing gently over the swell of her belly._

"I'm fine, _Edward__… _we_ are fine… stop worrying!" Bella replied just as softly, turning slightly in his arms to brush her own fingers over his cheek, the gesture causing __Edward__ to close his eyes briefly._

"Do you need anything else?" he asked her a second later, wanting to make sure she was as comfortable as possible, even if that meant he took the risk to have her send him on a quest for something he was not sure to find anywhere near.

Earlier in the afternoon, she had wanted a banana milkshake, extra-thick, and _Edward__ had needed to run down the street to find what she wanted since the Hotel they were staying at had run out of shakes, he had been told when he had gone and asked at the lounge._

Beside that incident at school over a month ago and one particularly tearful episode where _Edward__ had come home to find Bella crying her heart out in front of 'Bambi', with a very confused Janelle near her, wondering what in the world could suddenly be wrong with her mother, Bella's pregnancy had gone pretty well and she hadn't been as 'hormonal' as she had been while pregnant with Janelle, much to __Edward__'s relief._

Her 'cravings_' had been something else however and __Edward__ couldn't even count anymore how many times they had him going out at all kinds of ungodly hours of the days or nights, but at least now he knew most of the places around, or not too far from their neighborhood, that were opened almost 24/7 and he was sure to never find himself in a bind ever again._

Not surprisingly so, one of the first things he had done when arriving in Santa Barbara and getting settled in the Hotel where the reception would be held and where they would be spending the night, was to take a quick walk around and taking note of all the food stores he could find close, so he would be sure he could have a chance to find whatever Bella could come up with here.

The milkshake had actually been easy to find, just as had been the pickles and extra hot Tabasco sauce she had suddenly craved during the dinner earlier, but _Edward__ knew all too well that that could change fairly quickly with his dear pregnant wife._

"No, I'm okay…" Bella promised, her lips grazing his in a tender kiss that had both of them longing for more. Longing for the moment when they could escape from the reception and go back to the intimacy of their hotel suite.

Unfortunately, they were interrupted before Bella could even suggest to _Edward__ that maybe they could leave discreetly for a while and be back later._

"_Edward__Cullen__, is that any way to behave?" a cough and a teasing scolding made them part with a slight blush, both of them having momentarily forgotten where they had been._

"Mr. Nelson… it's been a while!" _Edward__ greeted with a smile as he recognized one of his oldest clients, who he fortunately had not had to deal with for a few months now, the sure sign that everything was alright for now._

"How are you, _Edward__?" the other man shook his hand vigorously, although his eyes seemed trained on the beautiful creature his young lawyer was holding in his arms._

"I'm fine, Garrett!" _Edward__ answered, before realizing that he was being rude and had not even introduced Bella to the older man._

"Bella, this is Garrett Nelson… one of our good clients… and Garrett… this_ is my wife, Bella!" he introduced quickly, the way he looked down at Bella as he did so, showing just how besotted he was with the woman._

Not that he could be blamed. Garrett could perfectly understand why he would, when said wife turned large doe eyes to him and greeted him with a shy smile. 

_Her picture surely didn't do her justice._

"No wonder this man here can't bear to stay a minute longer than necessary at work… time is time, huh?" Mr. Nelson said to them after having kissed the back of Bella's hand when she extended it to him and telling her what a pleasure it was to finally meet her, after having heard so much about her. "But now that I see you, dear, who could blame him?... I'd be rushing home as well, if I had such a pretty little thing waiting for me there every night!" he couldn't help adding with a wink that had Bella blushing, while _Edward__ just tightened his hold on her, smiling like he had just been paid the most beautiful compliment anyone could ever pay him. "She's a beauty, __Edward__!"_

"Yes, she is… she's my_ beauty!" __Edward__ whispered affectionately, nuzzling Bella's temple and not caring in the least about the stares they could draw._

More than of anyone or anything else in this world, _Edward__ was proud to call Bella his, and he could even less deny that even pregnant, she looked more beautiful and sexier than most of the women present tonight._

He had actually nearly had a heart attack when he had first seen her exiting their bathroom here, draped in a long-sleeved, low-cut royal blue dress that reached her feet and almost completely covered her but still accentuated beautifully her pregnancy, and he had had to exert superhuman efforts to not throw her down on the bed and have his way with her, instead of going down to the reception hall where they were awaited.

"And I see you've been busy, too!" Garrett remarked impishly, as his eyes stopped briefly on Bella's pregnant belly. "When are you due, beautiful?" he asked then more seriously, the tenderness in his tone showing that he was sincerely interested.

"Beginning of March." Bella revealed, confirming what Mr. Nelson had already suspected, that she was a little more than six months pregnant.

After all, the last time he had seen _Edward__ had been at the beginning of July and back then the young man hadn't mentioned any pregnancy, which considering how much he dotted on his wife and talked about her without much prompting, seemed to prove that they had probably not known yet at the time, or he would have certainly been shouting it out from the rooftops for all the world to know._

"Well, congratulations to you two… I hope everything will go alright when the time comes!" Garrett told them with a genuine smile, truly happy for the couple.

_Edward__ was someone he really appreciated, a young, intelligent man who worked hard and always gave himself a hundred per cent for his clients, and he truly wished him, wished _them_ the best._

"Thank you!" both Bella and _Edward__ answered together, both of them hoping for just the same thing._

After the scare they had had last month, they prayed each day that everything went alright and that nothing else happened until it was finally time for Bella to give birth. March surely couldn't come soon enough.

Fortunately, Mr. Nelson changed the conversation direction almost right away after having wished them good luck and for once, Bella was glad to hear _Edward__ and one of his clients 'talking shop'. She really didn't want to let her mind drift for too long to places she knew she really shouldn't let it go. She didn't even mind that much that the next half hour was spent talking about things she barely understood or knew of, having not even seen the minutes of the conversation pass this time._

"Well, as much as I appreciate talking with you two, there are still a few people I need to see… so, I'll be leaving you two lovebirds… I'm sure you'll find a way to entertain yourselves!" Garrett eventually said after a while, the way he almost sang his departing words enough to show he knew exactly_ what __Edward__ and Bella had been thinking about before he had interrupted them, and while __Edward__ just chuckled in answer as he said goodbye to the man, Bella felt her cheeks flame once more and couldn't help wondering how many times she could be embarrassed in the space of a few minutes._

Once Mr. Nelson left, she turned completely into _Edward__'s arms, her head resting against his strong chest, while his fingers caressed the small of her back._

"That was…" she trailed off, not really knowing how to describe the encounter.

Out of all the people _Edward__ had introduced to her tonight, and there had been quite a lot considering how many had been invited to begin with, Mr. Nelson had certainly been the most talkative and direct, at least with her -most of the other people had simply greeted her and proceeded to talk to __Edward__, while they all but ignored her once they knew who she was- she just couldn't determine if that was actually a good thing or not._

"Yeah, I know… he's something else…" _Edward__ seemed to get what she meant without her needing to say more, but Bella understood from his tone that while he apparently didn't know what to make of the man himself most of the time, he liked him nonetheless._

"He sure was." Bella just whispered, closing her eyes as she savored the feeling of _Edward__'s fingers stroking lightly up and down her back now._

"You're tired, baby?" _Edward__ breathed back, sensing her weariness, even if he knew she would probably downplay it, like she had been doing almost all night for his sake._

"Hmm-huh… a little…" Bella admitted, not wanting to lie to him when she knew well he would see through her lies anyway.

She had been on her feet for a while now, if you didn't count the break she had had while they were dining, and she was starting to feel it, even if she didn't want _Edward__ to have to leave for good just yet because of her._

She knew that _Emmett__ and __Sam__ were still somewhere around and that they could perfectly represent their branch, but she didn't want to bother them more than they probably already were, with __Edward__ spending less and less time at the office lately._

The other reason she didn't want to bother _Emmett__ in particular was because she knew he would surely want to spend as much time as possible with Rosalie as he could and she didn't want to ruin that._

They had been going out for a few months now, having gotten together barely a few days after Janelle's birthday, much to _Sam__'s disappointment, even if he had taken it quite well in the end and hadn't really resented any of them, and Bella knew that Rosalie was considering moving back to the States and that her new relationship with __Edward__'s associate had played a huge part in that decision, but for now Rosalie was still officially living in Europe and only coming back when her schedule allowed it and understandably so, they wanted to make the most of it._

Rosalie would be gone for months again once the holidays would be over after all, and Bella cared too much for _Edward__'s sister and friend to impose more on them just because she was pregnant and needed __Edward__ more than she already normally would. It just didn't seem right._

"Do you want to go back to our room?" _Edward__ suggested almost right away, like she had known he would. After all, he had only been telling her to tell him the second she wanted to leave every other couple of minutes in the last hour or so._

"No, not yet… but I could use something to drink…" Bella responded, lifting her head from where it rested so he could see that she was really alright with staying a little bit longer.

"What do you want, sweetheart?" _Edward__ demanded instantly, ready to go to the end of the world for her, if he had to._

"Water would be fine, _Edward__!" Bella said with a soft smile, having noticed from the look on his face that he had been expecting something harder to find._

"Water?" he repeated, failing to stifle the small sigh of relief that escaped his lips. Not that he wouldn't have gone to get whatever else she could have asked for, if she had_ wanted something else, but at least he was sure that they would have water here, which meant that he wouldn't have to leave Bella for too long, and _that_ was definitely something he rejoiced over. "Okay, water it is then… I'll be… right… back…" he reiterated and promised to her when she nodded, punctuating his last sentence with a few kisses that he hoped would be enough to last him until he would be back by her side again._

Bella smiled and sighed as she watched him all but run to the free bar a few feet away, but she couldn't help but frown a few seconds later, when she noticed a tall blonde following _Edward__ almost the instant she apparently saw him leaving her side._

She immediately recognized her as the woman who had dined at the next table and who accompanied an apparently wealthy but old man, and Bella looked briefly around, only to find him occupied with _Emmett__'s father and one of his associates, completely unaware of what she knew his '_date_' was about to do._

_Edward__ had barely reached the bar and ordered Bella's water when he was accosted by what many men would have considered a 'hot' woman. Many men indeed, but not him obviously. __Edward__ only took a brief look at her make-up and the 'ample cleavage' she had apparently no problem, or shame, displaying for all the world to see and he immediately found her way too vulgar for his own taste._

"Hi, I don't think we've been properly introduced… I'm Tracy Dempsey." She whispered in what _Edward__ thought was supposed to be a sultry tone as way of greeting and __Edward__ had to resist the urge he felt to openly roll his eyes at her._

"_Edward__Cullen__." He just said back, not wanting to sound too rude, since he knew that to be there, she had to have come either with one of his fellow lawyers, or a client, and he didn't want to risk hurting anyone, but the way he ignored her outstretched hand couldn't speak clearer of the fact that whatever she was there to offer, he wasn't in the least interested._

It didn't seem to faze her however, and this time _Edward__ couldn't help but frown openly when she moved even closer to him, so close in fact that he could feel one of her breasts press against his arm now._

"I've been watching you for a while… and I was wondering…" she murmured into his ear, causing _Edward__ to take a step back the second he had Bella's water and wonder how blind or stupid she could really be. If she had really been 'watching' him like she said, she couldn't _not_ know he was there with someone. Someone he was very clearly attached to, whether it was a wife or just a girlfriend, considering he had barely spent a few minutes away from her at a time. "Would you like to dance?"_

It took a moment for _Edward__ to react, his eyes briefly drifting back to Bella, only to find her watching the scene with a disapproving frown marring her beautiful features, and it was with his gaze still fixed on her that he finally replied._

"See the gorgeous pregnant woman over there?" _Edward__ pointed out to Bella across the room, a reverent smile grazing his lips as he talked about her. "That's my wife, and the only woman I wish to dance with… so as much as I appreciate the interest… I'm sure you'll have no problem understanding why I'll have to decline!"_

'Tracy' seemed quite dumbfounded to have been so unceremoniously and easily rejected, probably used to having her way and whatever she wanted without much effort, but _Edward__ couldn't care less and didn't even wait for an answer before marching back to Bella, glass of mineral water in hand._

He reached Bella, still smiling brightly, but the smile slowly slipped off his lips when Bella breathed a strangled 'thank you' when he handed her the glass and then proceeded to drink her water in nearly one gulp.

"Hey, slow down… there's no hurry, baby… I'll get you more if you want more…" _Edward__ tried to tease her, despite the weird feeling unfurling in the pit of his stomach, but it didn't take him more than a few seconds to realize that it didn't have the effect he had been aiming for. "Bella?" he whispered the next instant, when she moved to a table near to deposit her now empty glass, wondering what could be suddenly wrong with her._

"I-I want to go back to our room now." It wasn't hard to hear the slight tremble in Bella's voice as she spoke and _Edward__ found his anxiety growing by leaps and bounds in a matter of seconds, her behavior not making much sense at that instant._

She had seemed fine a few minutes ago. Tired but fine. And hadn't she said just a short moment ago that she was okay with staying? What could have changed in only a few minutes?

"What? Why?" he asked quite nervously, as he followed her to what was apparently the nearest exit she could find.

He didn't even bother saying goodbye to anyone, almost sure that she wouldn't wait for him if he wasted even a second trying to do so.

"You said that we would go when I wanted to go… I want to go back, now_!" she reminded him thickly, but refused to look him in the eye as she talked, which only alarmed __Edward__ more._

"Why?" he insisted, trying to keep up with her as she crossed the long hallway, like she couldn't wait to get as far away from that place as possible. "Is there something wrong? Is it the baby?"

"No!" Bella just uttered, sidestepping him when he stopped in front of her, after having managed to pass her, and tried to make her look at him.

"What then, Bella? Are you feeling alright?" he asked then, not sure what to think anymore. She would tell him if there was something wrong with her or with the baby, right? "Bella, stop!... talk to me!" he sounded almost desperate now and he couldn't help but gasp when he grabbed Bella's arm, as gently as he could but firmly enough to make her stop walking away from him, and her eyes met his at last.

"I-I saw you, _Edward__…" the betrayed look she pinned him with at that moment was enough to chill __Edward__ all over, even if he still didn't get what she was saying. "You were… looking at her… you… y-you were…"_

"Huh?" not the most eloquent thing to blurt out for sure, but that was actually the only word that came to his mind then.

Surely she couldn't be talking about Stacy… Tammy… Tracy… whatever the hell her name had been… he had barely glanced at her.

"You and that… blonde_…" Bella confirmed however, spitting the words and causing __Edward__ to rush to deny whatever accusation he feared would leave her lips next. He didn't even want her to just think about it._

"Bella… she just asked me to dance… and I…" he started, only to realize too late that that was apparently the wrong thing to say, when he saw Bella's eyes almost instantly fill with tears at his admission.

"Dance?... oh…" she repeated in a bruised tone that had _Edward__ cringing in answer. "Of c-course… and I bet… I-I bet you wished I wasn't there so you could take her up on the offer, huh?... well, I-I… I'm so s-sorry for ruining your night…" her voice cracked a little more with each word she uttered and __Edward__ ached to see her like that, moreover when there was absolutely no reason for her to get all worked up because of what he had said, or what she thought she had seen._

None at all. He had not even just considered_, not even for one single second, dancing with anyone but Bella._

"Of course not! Why would I want to dance with her? I didn't even know her!" he replied right away, but that was apparently not enough, if her next sentence was any indication.

Never in a million years could he have actually fathomed what she would say next.

"A-Are you… are you planning on leaving m-me now?" the words barely passed the huge lump clogging her throat and _Edward__'s heart broke a little more when he saw the tears she had so valiantly tried to hold until now, spill and roll down her cheeks at last._

No matter how irrational he_ knew she was being, what had happened was obviously hurting _her _and that was the last thing in the world he wanted._

"What? No!_... Bella, what is all this about?" he cried out as he cupped her face, wondering how she could even think such a thing. "Baby?"_

"I'm fat… and I-I… I-I'm ugly, E-_Edward__… and I know… I-I…" Bella moaned out, making __Edward__'s eyes nearly pop out of his head when he heard her._

"God, Bella… you…" he groaned out, before trailing off when he saw a couple exit the reception hall and come their way, the sight making him realize that the hallway was certainly not the place to continue this, not with Bella so emotional, the potential of them creating a scene was just too great and he was sure Bella would regret it afterwards, once she would have calmed down enough to realize that this had no reason to be. "Okay, get in here." He took her by the elbow and pushed her gently through the first door he found, only realizing once in that he had led them into the women's restroom.

Quickly, he checked to see if the different stalls were empty and when he was satisfied that no one was there to hear their conversation, he turned to Bella again, cradling her close the instant he joined her.

"Sweetie, you're pregnant with my_ child… and you look absolutely gorgeous… didn't you see how everyone was looking at you?... you're glowing, baby…" he vowed emotionally himself, brushing her tears away as he spoke, not able to stand the sight of them._

"They were thinking I'm f-fat… and all those b-beautiful… p-perfect women… they were probably wondering how you could be with m-me!" Bella denied miserably, remembering that the statuesque blonde had actually not been the only one approaching _Edward__ tonight, or just giving him the eye._

She hadn't been the only one staring her_ down when they had spotted her near __Edward__, either._

"They were not_, on the contrary… you look stunning, Bella and I know I was actually the envy of every guy present!" __Edward__ assured her, only to have her snort audibly at his statement. "Bella, seriously… how can you think or… or even less _say_ that I would leave you… now or ever!" he couldn't help demanding then, clearly a little hurt by her previous comment._

After all they had gone through, surely she couldn't be serious, or really believe that he could ever walk away from her. Didn't she know he had barely survived those months he had been forced to spend apart from her?

"Do I not show you enough how much I love you?" he found himself asking when Bella didn't answer but just looked at him with eyes still brimming with tears. "How much I want you?"

He did his best every day to show her just how much she meant to him and how completely lost he would be without her, but if that weren't still enough, he was more than determined to do more. Whatever it took to make sure she never doubted him. Whatever, to not see her cry like this ever again.

"You do… you… you d-do, it's not that… I-I… I just…" Bella stuttered when _Edward__ kept looking at her pleadingly and she realized that her… 'hormonal' reaction, because that was probably only what it was, was hurting him._

Fortunately, she had only had a few 'episodes' with this pregnancy, but apparently, yeah… when she did get them, she surely didn't do things half way.

"You just what? Tell me!" _Edward__ whispered tenderly when she seemed to hesitate, his forehead touching hers as he brushed a few soft strands of hair away._

"I just… I-I just don't feel desirable right now… I'm just… fat_…" Bella mumbled under her breath, refusing to meet __Edward__'s eyes once more, which caused him to growl incredulously._

"You don't feel…" he trailed off, not even comprehending how Bella could not see what he saw every day when he looked at her. What he was sure anyone but her could see. "God, baby… you are!... and sexy… and so hot…" he hissed fervently, framing her face between his hands and bringing her head up so she could see how much he meant every single word.

"You're just saying that because…" Bella started, but her next argument was cut short when _Edward__'s lips slanted over hers, her head spinning when he was done with her._

"Because I love you!... and I want_ you!... every second of every day… pregnant or not… you're the sexiest woman I know… trust me!" __Edward__ whispered lovingly, thinking that he was finally getting somewhere when he saw Bella dry what was apparently the last of her tears._

"Sexier than that blonde?" she asked nonetheless as she played with _Edward__'s tie now and kept her eyes downcast, still remembering that said blonde really did have all the curves and forms in the right places, and how inadequate she had suddenly felt in comparison herself._

The little pout that pursed her lips was what did it for _Edward__ though, and very nearly drove him to ravish her right away._

"A blonde?... What blonde?" he asked teasingly, grabbing her by the hips and guiding them to the sink behind them before Bella could even realize what he was doing.

"_Edward__!" she hit his chest, not finding his sudden 'amnesia' that funny._

Okay, now that it had passed, she was realizing that her reaction had been pretty stupid indeed and completely disproportionate, but that didn't mean he got to make fun of her.

"Sexier than anyone!... you're the only one I see anyway… the only one I want…" _Edward__ breathed out in a promise, his hot breath stirring against Bella's neck and causing delicious shivers to course up her spine._

"Even now?" Bella asked in a trembling whisper herself, her eyes closing as she felt _Edward__'s tongue tracing the rim of one ear._

"Particularly now!" he murmured back, leaving wet kisses along her jaw-line, while his hands found their way to her hips again and he lifted her up before she could protest.

"Yeah?" Bella gasped as she suddenly found herself sitting on the small countertop behind her, _Edward__ parting her legs and stepping between them the second he was sure she was settled comfortably enough._

"Oh, yeah…" was the last thing he said, and the last thing Bella saw before his lips descended upon hers, was the sexy smirk he sported and that seemed to say that whatever it was he had in mind, he was definitely going to enjoy every second of it.

Neither seemed to care much about the fact that they were in a very public restroom and that anyone could come in and catch them in the act at any given moment, they had obviously forgotten about whatever and whoever could be out of those four walls, just satisfied for now that they hid them from the rest of the world.

Hungrily they kissed, hands roaming over clothes, until _Edward__ couldn't take it anymore, the need to be inside her being just too strong. He wished he could feel her skin to skin, but since it was clearly not an option right now, __Edward__ just pulled her dress up, until it was pooling high around her thighs and then made quick work of helping Bella lose her thong, smiling mischievously when he put it in one of his pockets, instead of just dropping it down._

Bella didn't even comment however, too busy she was trying to get _Edward__ out of his pants and boxers, a sigh of relief escaping her lips when she eventually saw them on the floor._

"_Edward__…" she gasped a second later when he stepped as close to her as he could and she felt the tip of his hardness grazing against her moist entrance._

"I want you so much, baby… so much…" _Edward__ groaned out, head falling against her throat, lips nibbling at her skin the second they came into contact with the soft tempting flesh she offered as she arched her neck invitingly._

"Then prove it, _Edward__… prove to me how much you want me…" Bella coaxed him in a throaty whisper, scooting closer to the edge of the countertop and bracing her hands behind her for support._

Another groan was all the answer Bella got and her moan blended with his when _Edward__ finally plunged into her wet core, leaving them both almost breathless. _

"_Tell me… b-baby, tell me if I hurt you, okay?" he grunted out as he started moving slowly, his hands bracketing her hips to give himself some leverage._

"I-I will… just don't… don't stop, _Edward__!" Bella panted out, rolling her hips into his and sighing in bliss every time __Edward__ pulled out of her only to plunge right back in, going as deep as he could go without hurting her, or the baby._

His eyes stayed trained on her face the whole time, looking for any sign that he was causing her any discomfort, but all he saw there was the way she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from crying out in pleasure, the way her eyes closed when he pumped into her even just slightly harder, or the way her lips parted as she moaned his name in that breathy, sexy undertone that just drove him mad and all but made his control snap. Only signs that she was enjoying this as much as he sure was himself.

He wasn't sure how long he would be able to hold on considering how much he had been wanting her all night, and this time Bella couldn't stop the long groan that spilled from her lips when _Edward__'s deft fingers drifted between them and teased her clit in just the right way._

Only minutes later she was feeling the telltale signs of one incredible orgasm and she brought her legs higher up, her thighs flanking _Edward__'s sides now and causing him to pick up pace when he understood just how close she already was._

They both moaned low in their throats when _Edward__'s efforts seemed to pay off and they felt Bella's walls fluttering around his hard sex, only a few more seconds being enough for them to stumble over the edge, together, panting and crying out each other's names._

Minutes afterwards, they were still breathing hard and trying to bring their heart rates back to normal, when _Edward__ cupped Bella's jaw and let his forehead fall against hers._

"Are you okay?" he sighed, eyes trailing over her flushed features like he was seeing her for the very first time and had just fallen in love.

"I'm perfect, _Edward__…" Bella whispered still a little breathlessly, fingers caressing __Edward__'s face, until he reached for her hand and softly kissed her opened palm._

"I love you, Bella…" he breathed then, on his way to seeking her lips once more, when a sudden startled gasp made both he and Bella turn apprehensive eyes towards the restroom door.

"Oh, my god!" the blonde from before looked at them disbelievingly and cried out, and while Bella couldn't do a thing but hid her face into _Edward__'s chest and try to ignore the fact that her dress was still around her middle and __Edward__'s pants still on the floor, __Edward__ just groaned, not believing his bad luck._

He didn't care that much that 'Tracy' could see the back of his thighs, as long as the rest was hidden by his tux jacket, or even less that she could know without the shadow of a doubt about what they had been doing, but he knew how quickly and clearly uncomfortable Bella could become in such a situation and sparing her was the only thing he could think about.

"Do you mind?" he growled out before he could stop himself, not understanding why Tracy was staying there, her mouth hanging open, like she had never heard about sex, or least of all even seen two people together, instead of getting the hell out and letting them have a few minutes of privacy, so they could compose themselves.

His obvious unhappy tone was eventually enough to snap the woman out of her torpor and she closed the door with a loud bang and another '.god._' before leaving __Edward__ alone with Bella again._

As soon as Tracy left, he turned to Bella, asking her if she was okay while at the same time he scrambled to pull his pants and boxers up in a swift move.

"Did that really_ happen?" Bella moaned out, wondering if there would ever be a time when they would make love out of their bedroom and _not_ get caught._

"Afraid so…" _Edward__ lamented sheepishly, knowing that this was certainly his fault. "You okay?... I-I'm sorry…" he apologized, tucking a few locks of hair behind her ears so he could have a clear view of her face._

"I'm fine, _Edward__… a little embarrassed, but fine…" Bella admitted with a soft chuckle that proved that as embarrassing as this had been, she would survive and surely didn't resent him in any way, or even regretted what they had just done._

"Okay… I… we should…" he pointed out to the door, thinking that they should probably leave now, if they didn't want someone else to stumble upon them.

"Yeah…" Bella acquiesced almost right away, extending her hands to him so he could help her down and she could go clean up some before they got out.

She entered the first vacant stall and only remembered once in that she was missing something.

"_Edward__… can you hand me my… uh, my panties, please…" she asked through the door, not exactly comfortable with walking around without underwear, moreover if she had to go back to that room full of people._

"Ah… I'm afraid I can't do that…" _Edward__ responded, the smile evident in his voice, even if Bella couldn't see his face for now. "But it's not like you will need them any time soon anyway…"_

"I won't?" she demanded intrigued as she exited the stall and joined him by the sink. "Are we not going back?" she wondered as she washed her hands when he was done himself.

"Do you want to go back?" _Edward__ answered with a question of his own, as he brought her against him, ready to do whatever she wanted._

"No… not really…" Bella admitted after a brief hesitation, as she toyed with his tie and looked at him from under thick eyelashes. "Unless… I mean… we can if… if you want to…"

"What do you want, baby?... what do you_ want to do?" __Edward__ insisted, knowing that she apparently had something in mind and she just needed a little push in the right direction to say what she wanted._

"You… I want you, _Edward__… preferably alone… I… I want to go back to our room… and be with you… that's what I really want…" Bella whispered at last, the look she gave him then almost enough to make __Edward__ take her again just where they were._

"Then that's what we'll do…" he breathed lovingly, kissing her lips softly before taking her hand in his and making his way to the door.

Hand in hand, they walked down the hallway and had almost reached the elevator when Bella remembered that in her haste to leave earlier, she had left the small purse she had been carrying somewhere by their table and _Edward__ immediately offered to go and get it for her, while she waited for him by the elevator._

On his way in, he came across Tracy who apparently had decided to give it another try and see if the restroom was free now, and he passed her again when he was on his way back to Bella and she was exiting said restroom again herself.

He smirked at her this time, not in the least ashamed of what he had done earlier, on the contrary, and that was apparently what finally made Tracy snap.

"You know… you're… you have absolutely no shame…" she accused hypocritically, like she hadn't had the same thoughts in mind earlier when she had accosted him and wouldn't have done exactly the same thing had she been given the opportunity.

"When it comes to my wife… none whatsoever, no…" _Edward__ confessed without the slightest shame or remorse, walking backwards and giving her a proud smile as she stood there, gaping at him once more, not believing his audacity. "Oh, and since I won't see you again… Merry Christmas!" he called out from where he was then, although Christmas would only be in two days, and hurried to reach Bella._

Once he did, he called the elevator and had probably never been gladder than he was when it almost immediately arrived. He pulled Bella in before the doors were even completely opened and had her pressed against the wall before they could close again, both of them giggling like teenagers on their prom night.

And all the while… Tracy was still there… watching and cursing the small brunette who had managed to catch such man. 

-TWILIGHTTWILIGHTTWILIGHT-

"I-I remember…" Bella found herself moaning, as she was brought back to Earth and in their bathroom again, when she felt Edward's hand closing around one swollen breast.

"That was quite a night, huh?" Edward sighed himself, his lips nibbling at her moist skin as his hands grew a mind of their own and started caressing the length of Bella's body.

After that first time in the restroom, Edward had made sure he showed Bella how much he wanted her, over and over again, until he was satisfied that she wouldn't question him on that point ever again.

"Yeah…" was all Bella could answer at the moment, getting already lost in the incredible sensation only Edward was able to evoke with a simple touch. "Edward… what… what are you doing?" she couldn't help blurting out a moment later, when one of Edward's hands drifted lower down her rounded stomach and it became clear that he had no intention to be satisfied with just a few simple strokes.

"Hmm… I want you so much right now…" he breathed hoarsely, his fingers reaching the apex of her thighs and brushing against her most sensitive parts.

Bella involuntarily arched against him, causing the prominent proof of his arousal to graze against her backside and both of them gasped at the contact. Instead of stepping away before they both completely lost control though, which probably would have been the thing to do, she rubbed against him sensually, making Edward almost lose his mind.

"Baby… I know what the doctor said… I-I know what we decided… but let me touch you… I need to touch you…" Edward pleaded before he could stop himself, knowing that if he couldn't be inside her, he needed to be as close to her as possible.

He never would regret his child of course, but he couldn't deny either that he missed Bella, missed making love to her completely, with no restrictions and without fearing that he would hurt her.

His sweet confession made Bella all but melt in his arms and she knew she wouldn't be able to push him away, or deny him anything, even if she had been paid for it. Truthfully, she needed him as much, if not more, as he could himself and didn't see any reason for them to not find pleasure in each other's arms, or enjoy each other if they could.

"You're going to make us both late…" she remarked half-heartedly nonetheless, knowing that even if his schedule was more flexible now, since he had cut down his hours at the office to work more from home and spend more time with her, it didn't mean that he didn't need to go in today, or that he could be late to the meetings she knew he had.

Her actions contradicted her words however, or at least showed that she was only saying as much because that seemed like the right thing to say, and Edward couldn't stifle another groan when one of her hands slipped between their bodies and cupped him, before she had even finished her sentence.

"You don't really work… and Emmett and Sam won't mind anyway… what's a few minutes?" he pointed out, eyes already closed in bliss as Bella slowly stroked his length, creating a maddening rhythm that had him nearly spilling on the spot. "God, Bella…"

His hips moved on their own, following her movements before he could stop himself, only to have him wonder the next second if that was really a good idea when his eyes nearly crossed at the amazing sensation.

The hand that was back cupping Bella's full breast tightened its grip on her soft flesh and Bella's throaty moan was what reminded Edward that this was supposed to be about her first.

Trying to ignore how good it felt to have her hand wrapped around his engorged sex, Edward concentrated on her again, his fingers seeking her hot center once more and making Bella instantly groan.

"Do you want me, too?" he asked thickly, digits drawing small circles around Bella's clit before she could even think about formulating an answer.

"Huh-uh…" Bella whimpered at the feeling and lifted a hand up to cup the nape of his neck and bring his face closer. "So much…"

Turning slightly around then, she sought out his mouth and slipped her tongue between his lips when they parted for her entrance, Edward's soft groan being swallowed into her own mouth.

"It's been so long, Bella… I miss you so much…" he grunted out when they parted, his fingers brushing through her slick folds now, finding her wet and so ready for him, it made Edward want to plunge into her depths and never leave the place again.

He couldn't however, much to his dismay, and knowing that he would only hurt himself more if he kept touching her there, he moved to her clit again and worked twice harder to make her come.

"M-Miss… I-I miss you, too…" Bella stammered shakily, hoping that she would be able to keep standing on her own two feet just long enough for Edward to finish her off. "Oh, god, Edward… E-Edward …"

Her hips took a mind of their own then, coaxed by his own languid movements, and it wasn't long before Bella felt herself let go, pleasure coursing through every nerve ending of her body, the sensation only intensified by the way Edward kept kissing along her throat, down to her neck, then her shoulder and back again.

When she managed to catch her breath up minutes later, she turned around, giving Edward a look that helped him as much to reach completion than the simple feel of her hand still on his aroused member already did. A few more strokes and he was lost, spilling over her hand before he could control himself.

When he was able to think more or less clearly again, he kissed her once more, tongue licking at the corner of her mouth, but pulled apart before it had any chance to go any further.

"I still miss you…" he sighed somewhat sadly, fingers threading through her wet hair.

"I know… so do I…" Bella whispered back, her head dropping to his chest, her hands caressing his sides.

Edward cradled the back of her head then, his chin resting on top of it, and they stayed like that for a moment, until Edward suggested they finished their shower and got out of there.

They didn't wash one another like they would normally have however, both of them knowing that they would never get out any time soon if they did, but Edward immediately went into 'caring' mode again once they were done.

Exiting first, he dried quickly and wrapped his towel around his waist before he grabbed for another one for her.

Wrapping her almost completely in it then, Edward helped Bella dry herself, before fixing it around her breasts so she wouldn't get cold while he went to get her clothes.

When he got back, already fully dressed himself, he found her exactly where he had left her and he couldn't help smiling at how cute she looked, sitting on their bathroom countertop, balancing her feet like a child, while she blotted the water off her hair with another towel.

Reaching her, he took it from her hands and finished for her, smiling the whole time like he was accomplishing the most interesting task in the world instead of something so simple, but Bella knew too well how much he liked to take care of her to say anything. After all, this was the same man who had gone as far as painting her toenails for her when she had complained that she couldn't see them or reach them anymore with her pregnant belly in the way and had whistled the whole time, when any other man would have probably been blowing a gasket at just the thought of doing something so 'unmanly'.

Once that done, she uncrossed her legs for him when he asked her to, so he could pull her panties up and lifted slightly up from the counter, so he could put them in place.

The next second, he was taking off the towel that hid her body from his eyes, but handed her her bra so she could put it on herself this time. That actually had Bella stifling a smile. It was probably the only thing he hadn't figured out yet, or it was just that he was surely more talented at taking them off than at putting them on, because she didn't remember a time, in all those he had helped her dress, when he hadn't let her do that on her own.

When she had accomplished her task, he helped her down and gave her the dress he had brought, Bella smiling broadly now when she noticed he had chosen one of his favorites.

"Why am I not surprised you chose this dress?" she teased as she turned around so he could help her zip up the red dress he had bought her a couple of months ago, when they had gone shopping in Santa Barbara.

"It's Valentine's Day… it seemed appropriate… besides, you know how much I love you in red." Edward admitted appreciatively, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror and seeming to say that he found her even more beautiful now, than he had already the first time she had tried it and he had fallen in love with it.

Yeah, red was definitely one of his favorite colors on her, just after blue!

"Seriously? You do?" Bella questioned ironically, barely registering the urge she felt to laugh when she saw him smile sheepishly at her through the mirror. "I never would have guessed!"

Right, like it could really be hard for her to know when almost every piece of clothing he had bought for her in all the years they had been together had either been black, blue, or red.

"Hey, you don't get to make fun of me!" he pouted in the cutest way possible, but there was absolutely no heat in his words.

"Sorry, you're right… it's not your fault you're obsessed!" Bella amended and this time it did earn her a little slap on her cute little behind, Edward grinning almost devilishly when she yelped at the contact of his hand with her backside.

"Okay… I get it… you're a little sensitive about the subject…" she laughed the next second, as she decided to let him off the hook for now and tried to find her blow-dryer instead of scolding him for what he had done. "Now, help me find…"

Her sentence was cut short when Edward appeared next to her before she could finish, with exactly what she had been looking for in his hand.

Ah, she knew that she kept him around for a reason. He always did seem to know what she needed.

"Thank you!" she breathed out lovingly, ready to take it from him, but Edward just told her to turn around again and turned it on himself, proceeding to dry her hair straight for her, knowing that that was how she had meant to do it anyway.

When he was done minutes later, Bella herself proceeded to apply some light make up to her eyes, Edward looking at her the whole time, until it was almost making her uncomfortable.

"What?" she asked with a nervous chuckle, as his smoldering gaze swept over the length of her body, heating up her blood all over again.

"You look beautiful!" Edward exhaled approvingly, stepping closer to her. "But there's something missing."

"Missing?" Bella repeated, as she turned back to the mirror and checked her appearance once more.

What could be missing? She was dressed, she had brushed her hair and done her makeup. She looked okay, didn't she?

"Huh-uh…" Edward mumbled under his breath, looking like he was trying to figure it out himself, but then he surprised Bella with his next request. "Close your eyes for a second."

"Close my…" Bella parroted, really not seeing why he would want her to do that just now, or what that had to do with what was _missing_.

"Just do it, baby!" Edward gently urged her on, and the brilliant, completely devoted smile he gave her then was enough for Bella to comply in the end.

She knew she could trust him anyway.

She heard him move behind her then, until he was plastered against her back and there wasn't a millimeter of space between them and then, she felt a light weight settle between her breasts, her mind instantly trying to figure out what it could be.

"Open them now!" Edward whispered into her ear, his arms wrapping around her from behind and holding her as close to him as he could once he was done.

Bella did as he said the second he gave her the permission, but then she couldn't help gasping audibly when her eyes fell on the silver locket that was now around her neck. "Edward!"

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby!" he murmured for all explanation, the loving look he gave her then nearly making her melt on the spot.

"But we said… we said we wouldn't exchange gifts this y-year…" Bella moaned out, finding the locket absolutely beautiful, but lamenting the fact that she didn't have anything to give back herself.

Edward had actually been the one to suggest they didn't, since he didn't want her to go out and spend hours looking for the perfect gift like she had done at Christmas and like he knew she would again, and now she felt stupid for having taken him up on the offer and not seeing that _he_ wouldn't follow his own suggestion.

"I'm not exchanging!" Edward said lightly, clearly finding that it was no big deal, and brushed a tender kiss against her lips when she turned around in his arms, a frown still marring her forehead.

"But Edward… I don't have anything for y-…" another kiss interrupted her miserable observation, Edward not wanting her to feel bad.

"I don't care…" he promised her as he cupped her cheek and smiled down at her, but that still didn't seem to appease Bella, he could tell. "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do… I love you so much…" Bella vowed fervently, wondering how he could even ask her such a question.

She loved him more than anything, or anyone in this world, and more and more each day, if that was possible.

"That's all I want… I love you… you love me… I have you… that's really all I need…" Edward rejoined, his fingers caressing her face with such reverence, it made Bella's next protest die in her throat.

She knew he meant each word, which was why the only thing she could do was swallow hard and nod, but that didn't stop her from promising herself that she would ask Alice to take her to the nearest mall later today or tomorrow and find something for him nonetheless.

"It's beautiful, Edward!" she breathed out emotionally, as she took a closer look at the fine piece of jewelry and noticed the meticulous carvings the surface was made of.

"Open it… there's actually something inside." Edward told her then, fighting with himself to not reach out and help her when he noticed her trembling fingers trying to do what he had said.

"Oh, Edward…" Bella's eyes instantly filled with tears as the locket opened under her efforts at last and she saw what Edward was referring to.

Inside, she found two small pictures facing each other. One was of Janelle baby, taken only a few days after they had left the maternity with her more than six years ago, she recognized. The second one was of Edward and Janelle together, in a tight embrace, a miniature picture of the one taken by Jasper a couple of months earlier after a day spent playing in the park nearby and which original she carried everywhere with her in her own wallet, since he had given it to them.

"It's p-perfect, Edward… thank you…" Bella all but sobbed, unable to control the tremor in her voice.

Just like she had never taken off her charm bracelet, except when it was absolutely necessary, she knew she would never part from this gift either.

"There's another small compartment… here…" Edward revealed, taking the locket from her hands and showing her how to open the other side. It was empty for now, but he knew she would soon be able to add more pictures in there. "For the baby's pictures…"

At that, and before she could stop herself, Bella lost the battle against her tears and they streamed down her cheeks, Edward immediately brushing them away with the pads of his fingers.

"Don't cry…" he pleaded, seeing her cry having definitely not been what he had wanted to accomplish.

"I'm sorry… I just… oh, god… d-damned hormones…" Bella whimpered out hoarsely, before burying her face into Edward's warm chest, his arms immediately coming to wrap around her trembling form.

"I love you… and your hormones…" he kissed the crown of her head and gently rubbed her back to calm her down.

A few minutes later, his tender caresses seemed to have the effect he had been going for and she lifted her head up, gifting Edward with a small shy smile that had his heart skipping a few beats.

"I'm better now…" Bella said to him when he just kept looking at her tenderly, like he was waiting for her to tell him that she was alright and the crisis had passed.

"Okay… then we should probably go…" he acknowledged, realizing that Bella's colleagues would most likely have to wait for her, if they didn't leave soon.

"We should." Bella confirmed, but still took the time to stand on her tiptoes and plant a long, loving kiss on Edward's perfect lips.

Then when she considered she had thanked him enough for now, she took his hand and led them both out of the bathroom, ready to leave.

Edward wasn't having it however, and he all but dragged her into the kitchen so she could have a small breakfast, even if she kept saying that she was really not hungry this morning. He really didn't care, she had to eat, even if that meant that they would be even more late.

Once she had swallowed every last piece of toast he had prepared for her and drank the glass of milk he all but ordered her to drink, Edward helped her find her shoes since she couldn't find the ones she was looking for and once she had grabbed her coat and Edward had taken everything he needed back at work, they finally left, both of them laughing on their way out when Edward joked about the fact that dressed all in red like that, she looked like Little Red Riding Hood.

"Yeah, I'm sure Grandma would have liked seeing her this pregnant!" Bella snorted as they reached the car and Edward opened the passenger door for her.

"As long as the father wasn't the big Bad Wolf… can you imagine them?... going at it in the woods?" Edward chuckled and shrugged in answer, his comment making Bella gape at him and cry out his name incredulously.

"What?" he asked a few seconds later, when he had rounded the car and taken his place behind the wheel.

"You didn't just say that!" Bella exclaimed, trying to hit me for the inappropriate reflection, but Edward caught her hand before she could touch him and drew her close.

His other hand found his way into her loose hair and when his lips closed over hers, Bella forgot everything about what she had been saying just a minute ago.

"Okay… Let's go!" Edward panted out when they parted a few seconds later, knowing that if they didn't leave now, they certainly never would.

-TWILIGHT-

The drive to the school was actually spent in near complete silence, Edward only breaking it when he noticed Bella wince a couple of times and he asked her worriedly if she was okay.

"Yeah… he's a-active… I told you…" Bella repeated reassuringly, rubbing a hand over her stomach in the hope that it would be enough to help her son settle some.

Edward's own hand joined hers almost right away, but when Bella turned to him with a gentle smile to thank him for always knowing when he was needed, she noticed at his look just how much it was costing him to not ask her if she was really sure and go into full worry mode.

She appreciated the effort of course and laced her fingers with his then, before bringing their joined hands to her lips and softly kissing his knuckles, letting the simple gesture soothe him.

Once they arrived, Edward rushed to the other side of the car once more, helping Bella to get out, but while she expected him to say goodbye to her there, he didn't.

She should have known he wouldn't in fact, after all, the last few weeks she had been working, he had taken it upon himself to make sure nothing could happen to her on her way to her classroom and had walked her to the door every day, uncaring of how that made him look, or of what people could think of it. Today wouldn't be different apparently.

Still hand in hand, they reached the gymnasium where the dinner and the dance show the school was organizing would take place in two days and where she was supposed to meet with a few colleagues and volunteers, both of them quite reluctant to have to let go just yet.

Edward drew her near the second they stopped, hugging her as close as he could and giving Bella the impression that he wouldn't see her for days, instead of the mere hours they would be separated in reality.

"You take care of you and this little one for me, okay?" he all but begged of her when they pulled apart, one of his hands drifting down to her womb and stroking it a few seconds.

"I will…" Bella promised right away, even if she knew that her words would most likely not be enough for him to not worry at least a little, while she was out of his sight.

"And don't work too much…" he added, his tone showing her that he would be way more happy if she had stayed at home, resting like he thought she should. It also said that despite that fact, he knew nonetheless that this was important for her and that was why he wasn't dragging her back to the car with him.

"I won't…" she nipped at the skin of his neck in answer, trying to distract him from his thoughts and what could easily become an anxiety fit, and she was quite satisfied of her accomplishment when Edward groaned low in his throat and brought his lips down on hers for a mind-blowing departing kiss.

"You two put bunnies to shame…" a laughing voice interrupted them and when they parted, Bella was relieved to see that the person having caught them was only Sue Clearwater, Harry's wife, and not someone else she would have felt way more uncomfortable with, if they had been the ones witnessing Edward and her behaving like the worst of teenagers she had to deal with here on a regular basis.

"Sue, hi!" Bella greeted her with a slight blush nonetheless, sure that she looked positively ravished after such a kiss.

Edward greeted Sue warmly as well, having met her on a few occasions since Bella had started working there years ago, but as much as he appreciated the woman, he was glad nonetheless when she left after exchanging a few words with them and enquiring about Bella's and the baby's health, telling Bella that she would be waiting for her inside when she would be done saying goodbye to her dear husband.

"I have a few important meetings today… but you call me if…" Edward started the moment they were alone again, but was cut off by Bella before he could complete his sentence.

"If I think there's anything wrong… I know… I will…" Bella promised, hugging him briefly, or at least as best as she could with her swollen stomach between them.

She knew by heart his recommendations by now, after all he always told her the same thing every time they parted.

"Okay… I love you!" he whispered as his lips grazed hers briefly and then he leant down to brush a tender kiss over the swell of her belly as well. "Be good with mommy… daddy loves you, too!" his voice was soft as he spoke, but had Bella fighting tears once more at the amount of emotion she could clearly discern in it.

"I love you, Edward!" she breathed against his lips when he straightened up, planting a quick kiss on them and then turning around to cross the gymnasium doors before she changed her mind about helping here today and begged him to take her back home instead, where he could spend the whole day with her, preferably in bed.

She barely turned around again when Edward uttered a quick 'bye', afraid she would just rush back into his arms, and instead walked head high towards her colleagues gathered in the back of the large room, determined to ignore for now the sudden ache in her heart and the slight pain she was feeling all too frequently in her lower belly now.

-TWILIGHT-

Hours later and after many discussions about decorations, who should be sitting next to whom and who really shouldn't, and she didn't even know how many rehearsals for the show, Bella was positively exhausted. Exhausted and in pain, since her cramps had been amplifying the more she worked, yet, stubbornly, she refused to admit, at least aloud, what everything in her was telling her this was.

More than once, her colleagues and particularly Jacob had needed to tell her to slow down or sit down, when they thought she had been on her feet for too long, but apparently she had done a pretty good job at convincing everyone that she was fine -a little tired, but fine- since everyone had been more or less leaving her alone since lunch.

About an hour ago, she had talked with Edward on the phone as well and he hadn't been all too pleased to hear that she wasn't ready yet to go home, a few details still needing to be finalized.

She knew that part of Edward's uneasiness was mainly due to the fact that he had a very important meeting now and it would be more difficult to join him then if anything were to happen, but that was exactly why she hadn't told him how much more painful her cramps had become. She didn't want him to miss that meeting if she could do otherwise, and so she had gritted her teeth every time Edward had asked her if she was really alright.

Now she was just getting back from one of her too many trips to the bathroom, her son having apparently decided that it would be fun to find the best position possible to press almost constantly against mommy's bladder and hold it, when she was intercepted by a few of her students who apparently were fairly flipping out about the approaching midterms.

Right there in the hallway, they asked her she didn't even know how many questions, arguing that although Ms Stevens, her temporary replacement was a nice woman, she wasn't her and wasn't as good at explaining things to them, and Bella didn't have the heart to tell them that she wasn't officially working anymore, or that she couldn't help. On maternity leave or not, she was still their teacher.

Finding her usual classroom vacant, she invited them to sit down so she could quickly go over their questions and the lesson they were having difficulties with, but almost regretted her decision when the word spread around and more of them entered to join in the fun.

She welcomed them nonetheless, even knowing that it would take her twice as much time as what she had first planned with more people there, with their own interrogations, only lamenting the fact that apparently her break was really going to be cut short.

A while later, Bella had actually lost count of how many questions she had already been asked and had already answered to, when sharp pain shot through her womb, giving her the impression that her son had suddenly decided to kick his way out.

She gasped in a startled breath and stopped mid-sentence to rub trembling fingers over her stomach.

"No, no, no, sweetie… you can't do this to mommy now… you have to behave, remember?" she muttered under her breath, turned to the blackboard so her students wouldn't hear her scolding her child when he wasn't even born yet, but the pain only grew stronger instead of ebbing like she had been hoping for. "Oh, god… you're gonna be as pigheaded as your father, aren't you?" she grunted then, holding her stomach with one hand and hanging on her desk with the other.

"Are you okay, Mrs. Cullen?" a young girl in the front row asked worriedly when she noticed her teacher in obvious pain.

"Y-Yeah, fine…" Bella answered quickly. A little _too_ quickly to be honest.

"Are you sure?" the girl next to the first continued, obviously no more convinced by their teacher's reassurance than her friend had been.

"Sure, yes…" Bella reiterated, but the way she suddenly doubled over in pain and cried out the next second belied her words. "Oh, _god_!"

Instantly students rushed forward to help her sit down when they saw her almost lose her balance and Bella started to panic when she heard some of them talking about calling an ambulance.

"No, n-no ambulance… I'm fine!" she all but shouted out, startling most of the people present, but her vehement cry that she was fine was fortunately not enough to make them believe her.

"Maybe… maybe we should get the school nurse…" someone else suggested, making Bella shake her head, although she couldn't verbally protest this time.

She was too busy gritting her teeth and bearing down the pain.

Unfortunately for Bella and despite her muted protest, when she was able to breathe more or less normally again, someone had already gone and fetch the school nurse and the woman only had to take a look at her to assess the situation.

"Oh, my god, Bella… you're in labor?" she blurted out before she could stop herself, causing the students around to gasp and Bella to glare openly at her.

"I am _not_ in labor!" she retorted more curtly than she had meant to, but she refused, absolutely _refused_, to admit that the other woman could be right. She wasn't in labor. She couldn't be, it was too soon. She wouldn't be in labor for _weeks_. "It's just… just a few cramps… probably something I ate…"

"Cramps… right…" Nurse Anna repeated, but her skeptic tone showed that she was surely not believing it was only that.

Discreetly so, she asked the young man near her to go and call for an ambulance, even if the stubborn woman in front of her didn't want to hear about it, from what she had been told when she had been fetched.

"C-Cramps, yeah… it's gonna pass…" Bella insisted, taking in huge gulps of air and finally standing up again when it didn't seem that she would just collapse if she tried. So far, so good. "It's passing."

Her baby was alright. Her baby was just fine… Her baby was apparently already too damned stubborn to listen to her!

"Oh, god…" she groaned out again when she felt another one of her 'cramps' tear through her body, the flash of sudden pain nearly blinding her.

"Okay, Bella… obviously it's _not_ passing!" the nurse said, trying to reach for Bella, only to have her sidestep her before she could touch her. "Bella, maybe you should sit back down."

"No… no, I'm fine… I just need… I-I need…" she trailed off as she started pacing back and forth and took long, deep breaths. "Edward… I need E-Edward…"

"Right, Edward… we should call your husband…" the nurse acquiesced as she watched Bella's pacing with a careful eye, looking for any sign that the 'cramps' were getting worse, or closer.

"No, I… actually, we can't…" Bella stopped suddenly, grimacing when she remembered that Edward was in an hours-long meeting and that while she could probably call and interrupt and he would come running to her, she didn't want to have to do that. "Edward… he's busy… important… he has an i-important meeting and I… we can't… I'll just wait… we'll wait a little…"

Not wanting to upset her for now, the school nurse just nodded and let her have some space, hoping that the paramedics would get there soon and that they would have more chances convincing Bella that there was no way that this would just 'pass' on its own.

About twenty minutes later, she couldn't help expelling a sigh of relief when she saw two paramedics crossing the threshold of the classroom Bella had obstinately refused to leave while it 'passed'.

A few students were still around, wanting to make sure their teacher was really alright and Anna briefly considered asking them to get out, so the EMTs could do their job and check on Bella, but she was stopped from doing so when the first paramedic assessed the situation herself and took the matter into hands.

"Okay, guys… there's just too many people in here… everyone out… let this young woman breathe a little…" the uniformed woman announced loudly, pushing past a few students and joining Bella on the dais, her tone softening right away. "What's your name, honey?"

"Oh, god… you called an ambulance? I told you not to call an ambulance!" hearing the new voice cut through the silence of the room pulled Bella out of her thoughts and her pacing and she instantly pinned Nurse Anna with a betrayed, angry look.

"Hi, I'm Anna Sloane, the school nurse…" Anna didn't cower however, although seeing that look _was_ pretty scary on such a usually nice woman. Instead, she addressed the paramedic, telling her what little she knew of Bella's condition. "Her name is Isabella Cullen… it's her second child… she's around 36 weeks pregnant and obviously the labor's started…"

"_Her_ name is Bella… she's _37_ weeks pregnant and she is _not_ in labor yet… _she_ would know if she were in labor, wouldn't she?" Bella gritted stubbornly, resuming her pacing and ignoring the disbelieving look the second EMT was giving her. "They are just freaking _cramps_!... C-R-A-M-P-S, okay?"

"Okay, Isabella… I'm Laura Grey and this is Christina Wilson… now if I could just take a look at you… I'd be able to tell you for sure if you _are_ in labor or not…" the paramedic introduced herself and her colleague, dropping her bag on the floor near Bella and quickly rummaging through it for what she would need.

"You don't need to take a look at me… I'm fine…" Bella retorted, looking down at the cell phone she had retrieved earlier and that hadn't left her hand since then. "And it's _Bella_."

She couldn't help groaning inwardly when she realized that only twenty five minutes had passed since then and that it was probably too soon yet to call Edward, no matter the fact that he would certainly kill her when he knew she hadn't called him right away like she had promised she would if anything happened.

But she could do this without him, at least for now. When it would be time, she would call him and he would come and take her back home and once with him, she would be able to relax and everything would go alright. She had to believe that.

"_Bella_… could you just stop pacing for a moment, please?… I'd like to at least check your vitals… just to make sure you're really alright…" Laura amended and insisted patiently, grabbing for Bella's arm the next time she passed by her.

Bella instantly glared at her, but strangely she didn't tell her to get lost like she so wanted to, thinking that maybe if she let her do what she wanted at that moment, they would leave her alone once she would have seen for herself that everything was perfectly fine with her.

She didn't notice Laura's frown once she was done however and just checked her phone once more.

Laura turned to the nurse who immediately sensed that whatever she had observed concerning Bella's state was probably not something Bella herself would want to hear about right now. Consequently, she moved a few steps back and made sure Bella couldn't hear them before asking the paramedic what she thought.

"She _is_ fine… but it's clear that she's having…" she announced, but was cut off before she could finish.

"Contractions… I know… but she's just so stubborn…" Nurse Anna said, knowing Bella enough to know that if she didn't want to hear about it, it would certainly take a lot of patience on their part to convince her that she needed to trust them and let them take her to the hospital.

"I can see that… I'm just afraid that if we don't take her to the hospital now… it will be too late later!" Laura revealed with a worried frown, remembering that they had barely managed to get here themselves.

A truck had overturned on the main road to the school, spilling tons and tons of bottles of soda on the street and while they had been let through on their way here because they were paramedics, she wasn't sure the way back would still be cleared if they took too much to leave.

"Too late?" the nurse questioned apprehensively, instantly fearing that something could be wrong with the baby.

"Not like that… there are both fine right now…" Laura was quick to reassure her, seeing that the nurse obviously cared about the young pregnant woman. "There's been an accident on the main road to here and I'm afraid they'll block the road completely before we're out of here!"

"You know, I'm here… I can't hear you but I _know_ you're talking about me!" Bella growled at them all of a sudden, as she saw them whispering between themselves for just a little too long for her liking.

"Bella, can you tell me how long you've been having those contr-…" Laura started asking, only to trail off abruptly when Bella glowered at her before she could finish uttering the word 'contractions'. "_Cramps_… how long have you been having those cramps now?" she reformulated, waiting patiently for Bella to answer, even if it seemed evident that that was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Since… yesterday… y-yesterday night, I think…" Bella admitted at last, tightening her grip on her cell phone and nearly splitting it in two as she did.

Okay, she would just wait still a few minutes and then she would call Edward. Meeting or not.

"And they are getting closer, right?" was the paramedic's next question and it immediately had Bella shaking her head in denial.

"No… y-yes… I-I don't know…" Bella stammered, on the verge of tears now.

This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be happening.

"Bella, honey, I know you don't want to hear it, but… from everything you are telling me and even what you're _not_… and from everything I can clearly _see_… you are in labor and we need to get you to the hospital now…" Laura announced to Bella as calmly and gently as she could, not wanting to upset her more than she already obviously was.

"No, March 6th, _that_'s when I go into labor… not a day or even a second sooner!" Bella replied obstinately, even when everything told her that there were less and less chances that her words would indeed be true.

She and Edward had actually been thrilled when March 6th had been announced as the supposed date for the baby's birth, once the second ultrasound had shown that Bella had actually been eight weeks pregnant instead of the six that had been announced to her the first time. They had even laughed at the fact that the baby would apparently share the same birthday as his future godmother, if everything went well, Alice having been born a six of March as well.

Yes, March 6th had seemed like a good day to give birth. But February 14th… February 14th was_ not_ what they had planned, or counted on. February 14th was just so… Oh, god, Edward was _so_ going to love this!

"Bella, you know better than that… you know that babies don't usually care much about what the mothers want… they come when _they_ want to come…" Laura stated wisely, her job having definitely shown her, and that on more than one occasion, that things didn't always happen like you wanted them to happen, and moreover when children's births were involved.

"Oh, but this is _my_ child and _he_ knows better than to try and mess with his mommy already!" Bella all but groaned, but the way she tenderly caressed her belly as she spoke proved that even if she did look angry, she surely didn't resent her child that much for messing with her plans.

"I don't think that's how it's going to work here… from what I'm seeing, it won't be long before he makes his grand entrance." Laura didn't particularly enjoy having to say as much to Bella, but there wasn't much doubt in her mind about how this would enfold.

She had been timing Bella's contractions as best as she could with the woman's obvious lack of cooperation, and she knew that she would soon be unable to pace like she currently was. In fact, Bella was probably unaware of the fact, but her pacing was only accelerating the process.

"Look, I know you're trying to be nice and do your job and all… but I'm not budging… I'm not going anywhere until I call my husband…" Bella grunted before another long cramp made her hold her breath and grip the back of the nearest chair. "You can go… _I_ didn't call for you anyway… as soon as I get a hold of him… _Edward_ will take me to the hospital, or to wherever the hell I need to go to stop this!" she added once the pain passed some, promising herself that she would wait still a few brief minutes and then call Edward.

"I can't do that and you know it!" the other woman replied, ready to spend the day there if she had to, but swearing that she wouldn't budge either until she would have made sure Bella was alright and nothing could happen to her.

"Well, suit yourself… wait with me if you want, but you're only wasting your time…" Bella threw back, closing her eyes as pain hit once more.

Laura watched her then, as she repeated a litany of '_just a few minutes, just a few minutes, just a few minutes_' and decided that for now she would let her be.

She couldn't exactly force her to get into the ambulance if she didn't want to, but she at least could make sure that she would be ready herself for what she was sure would happen very soon now.

Addressing the nurse, she asked her to send someone for a few things she would need and hadn't brought with her herself, and then demanded she find someone who could contain the crowd that had gathered in front of the room and was making way too much noise for her liking. Soon she would need all her concentration, as would Bella, and the last thing she needed was for that many people hovering around and distracting them.

A few minutes later, a gym mattress, a sheet and a few other utilities were brought in and she helped her colleague install everything, before turning to Bella again. She was in fact all ready to try and convince her to sit down on the covered mattress so she could examine her, when she saw her dial a number on her cell phone and finally bring it to her ear, instead of just keep watching it.

Great, maybe they would get somewhere now.

Unfortunately for Bella, her call to Edward's office only confirmed what she had feared. Edward was still out and Lauren was unable to tell her when exactly he would be back.

She knew what she had to do then of course, but still hesitated nonetheless. To call or not to call, that was the question. To call or… _oh-kay_, she was so calling now, she winced as the next damned, freaking, _contraction_ nearly made her pass out and she understood that she had no choice left.

Dialing Edward's cell phone now, she couldn't help cursing loudly when it went directly to voice mail. Why in the hell was he on voice mail now that she needed him, when he was always so freaking anal about the fact that he wanted her to call him the second she felt anything wrong. Well, this was wrong. This was seriously _wrong_, and where the frigging hell was he now, huh?

"Edward Cullen, I don't know where you are… or-or what you are doing… but you better get here, _fast_… I-I'm still at the school… and I need you… so get your ass here!" Bella all but groaned into the phone, only realizing when she was almost done that her tone would probably only get Edward to freak out and as much as she wanted him there, she didn't want to worry him, or have him get into an accident in his haste to get here. "I really… I j-just… I-I really need you, okay?... just don't break any laws but… get here as fast as you can, okay?" she amended a little more gently, snapping the phone shut when she was done and inhaling sharply.

Okay, now she just needed to wait. Wait until Edward got there and everything would be alright.

"Bella, you should really sit now…" Laura suggested when she saw that Bella had finally made the call that, hopefully, would be enough to get her to be more reasonable, but the slight shake of her head seem to prove that it was not.

"No, I'm fine… fine and not in labor… nope… and Edward will be here soon… so, perfectly fine here, see… I just need to be patient here and everything will be…" Bella started to ramble on, but she found herself trailing off awkwardly when she felt a rush of liquid suddenly running down her legs and wetting the front of her dress and she realized what had just happened. ".God… did my water just… b-break?... no, no, no… this can't… I c-can't…" she panicked as she took a look down at her ruined dress and shoes and the small pool of water at her feet confirmed her own words.

So much for denying the obvious, huh?

"Okay, Bella… get on that mattress, _now_!" Laura ordered, snapping some gloves on and ready now to examine Bella, whether she was willing or not.

With her colleague's help, she all but forced Bella into complying and ignored the woman's protests when they helped her getting rid of her underwear. Laura's fears were confirmed a second later when she checked Bella at last and found out that she was almost completely dilated already. It was no wonder though, if she had really started having those 'cramps' yesterday night already.

"Oh, god… I need to go to the hospital…" Bella finally snapped out of Denial-Land and moaned out, instantly trying to sit up when Laura shared her observation with her, a minute after having warned her colleague and the nurse as well.

"No, Bella… the road is blocked now…" Laura started, having had confirmation by radio earlier when they had already started preparing everything for the potential arrival of the baby.

"I don't freaking care about your damned blocked road… take detours if you have to… but _I_ need to get to the hospital, _now_!" Bella cried out almost hysterically now, the last thing she wanted being to give birth here, in her school, in her classroom, with she didn't know how many people watching.

A few teachers had come and tried to push the students away of course, like Nurse Anna had asked them to, but obviously unless they put someone to stand guard in front of the door, it wasn't enough. The damned said door kept being opened almost every other minute, every time they managed to close it. Bella half expected people to whip out cameras and camcorders and film the whole thing, but then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing, since it seemed that Edward would be missing his own child's birth, or at least a good part of it.

OH. GOD. She so couldn't do this alone!

"Look, Isabella…" Laura started as patiently as she could, only to be brutally silenced.

"Bella!" the other woman spat through gritted teeth for the umpteenth time.

God, was it that hard to understand that she didn't like to be called Isabella? Or to realize that now was really not the time to piss her off?

"Bella, okay… I'm sorry, but I believe that it's already too late for that now… if we try to leave now, chances are you're going to have this baby in a moving ambulance and I don't think you want that… do you want that?" Laura pursued, knowing that she for one would rather not take that risk.

If they did leave now, it could take them a while to get to the nearest hospital and she wasn't sure they had that much time.

"No, of course not but…" Bella sputtered out miserably, not wanting that more than Laura obviously did, but there had to be another solution.

Dammit, if only she hadn't waited so much and wasted so much time.

"No buts, honey… this kid is coming fast… this kid is going to come here… but more than that, he's going to come _now_!" Laura intoned more firmly, wanting the other woman to understand the seriousness of the situation.

And Bella did. Unfortunately all too well, but she _refused_ to do this alone!

"God, I-I need Edward!... I need my husband…" Bella whined all of a sudden, cursing him and all that was alive for not being here already. He would know what they should do and what was best for the baby.

"Listen to me, Bella… I'm sure your husband is on his way… he should be here soon… but we're going to have to start without him…" the paramedic informed Bella, predicting from how close her contractions seemed to be now that it wouldn't be long before she had to start pushing, whether she liked it or not.

"I will _not_ start anything without Edward…" Bella grumbled out, her nails digging into the sheet and the mattress under her as another contraction washed over her.

There was no way in hell she would have this child without Edward. _He_ had put it in there, he would be there to help _her_ get it out!

"Mrs. Cullen…" Laura enunciated more sternly then, even if unfortunately, it didn't seem to impress Bella in the least.

"_God_… what's your name again?" Bella gritted out between painful breaths.

"Laura…" the paramedic answered awkwardly, not seeing what that had to do with anything now.

"Well, _you_ listen to me now, _Laura_…" Bella hissed out, her tone being almost enough to scare the other woman. Almost. "You won't take me to the hospital now?... fine by me… I don't think I have a choice here, unless I want to go walking… which obviously I don't…" she recognized then, apparently resigned to her fate, more because she knew that it was actually her own fault it was too late to leave than because she really liked it, but yes, she really did have no choice, given that she probably wouldn't be able to get up now, even if she were paid for it. " But you have another thing coming if you think that I will have this baby without my husband being there to feel me crush his hand into dust… even if I have to clamp my legs shut tighter than Britney Spears's supposedly were when she was pretending to still be a virgin, in order to keep this baby inside until he fucking crosses that threshold… trust me, I will… but he will be here to feel _my_ pain…" she finished with a long growl, convinced that she couldn't make her point clearer.

Her rambling had actually left everyone close enough to hear her gaping at her and it took Laura a few seconds to recover herself.

"Okay, first of all… _Britney_?" she repeated incredulously, wondering how the young woman could have come up with something like that. "So not a good example… and secondly… well, secondly, you should really be more reasonable…" Laura wasn't even sure what she was supposed to answer to that, but really it wasn't as if they had time for jokes now.

"Oh, believe me… you don't know me… but this… yes, _this_ is me being reasonable…" if she weren't, Bella would have probably found a way to crawl out of there and she would surely not be having her child in this particular place, as it looked more and more like she would.

-TWILIGHT-

Across town, Edward was just getting out of his meeting and leaving the building where it had been held when he heard his cell phone beeping once, indicating that he had missed a call or a message.

Quickly he looked at the screen and then couldn't help but frown when he realized he had a new message on his voice mail, when he hadn't even heard the phone ring in the first place.

Checking out his missed calls, his confusion only increased at first when he found none, but a second later he understood that he had obviously not had any reception inside the huge twenty-something stories building and that whoever had called, had most likely been sent directly to voice mail.

Anxiously so, he listened to the message and couldn't stop his heart from pummeling to his shoes when he instantly recognized Bella's voice. Her message and her tone more particularly left him shaking from head to toes and he all but jumped into his car as he realized that it had already been more than half an hour since she had called.

Despite Bella's warnings, he drove faster than he knew he should, hoping all the while that he wouldn't get arrested, or that he would find an understanding cop if he did, slowing down not being an option. Not when he didn't know what was going on, or if Bella was alright. She had _seemed_ alright, a little upset and irritated sure, but alright nonetheless, and he hoped with all his might that it was still the case.

The last thing he wanted was to think that it could be otherwise, but he still remembered all too well what had happened the last time he had received such urgent call.

-TWILIGHTTWILIGHTTWILIGHT-

_Edward__ rushed through the doors of the hospital, his heart hammering in his chest so loudly, he was sure that anyone passing him by on his way could hear it._

It felt like he hadn't been able to breathe properly since he had received _Jacob__'s call nearly twenty minutes ago and he was sure he wouldn't, until he would have seen Bella and made sure that she and the baby were alright._

_Jacob__ hadn't said much unfortunately, beside the fact that there had been an incident at school and that he had to get to the hospital as soon as possible because they were taking Bella there, but that was about it._

Not knowing what to expect so, _Edward__ ran to the nurse station as soon as he spotted it, but before he could even reach it, he was called by one obviously nervous __Jacob__ and immediately changed direction._

"_Jacob__, what happened? How is she? Where i-is she?" the words stumbled from his mouth the second he joined the other man, his voice cracking slightly despite his efforts to appear collected._

_Jacob__ seemed to understand however, if the sympathetic look he gave him was any indication._

"Someone at school… a student… he involuntarily bumped into her and she fell a few stairs before she was able to get her footing back…" _Jacob__ started, only to see from __Edward__'s horrified expression that he probably shouldn't have blurted it all out like that. "She's okay but…"_

"The baby? Is the baby okay, t-too?" _Edward__ interrupted him before he could go any further, catching from __Jacob__'s tone that something could be wrong nonetheless, despite his weak reassurance._

"I-I don't know, _Edward__… bastards wouldn't let me see her!" __Jacob__ admitted dejectedly and __Edward__ understood that he had probably tried and tried, only to be turned down every time. He wasn't family after all and __Edward__, more than anyone, knew well how that worked._

"Where is she then?" he asked urgently, more determined to get to Bella now than he had even been earlier if that were possible.

"She's in there… room 1023…" _Jacob__ replied, pointing at a room a few doors down apparently. "But __Edward__… she's… you have to know… they're trying, but… she's kind of…" he pursued hesitantly, but knew immediately that __Edward__ wouldn't listen to him a second longer, once he knew where his wife was._

He was not surprised though. He would most likely do the same if he were in _Edward__'s shoes and it were his wife and child in possible danger._

With only one thought in mind, _Edward__ pushed past __Jacob__ before he could finish and strode to the room he had indicated, knowing that if they refused to divulge any information to __Jacob__, they would have no choice with him._

Truthfully _Edward__ had actually been prepared to see different things when entering: Bella sitting or lying on a hospital bed, probably scared out of her mind and waiting for him to arrive and promise her that everything would be alright. Doctors and nurses near her, hovering and checking on her. Monitors around, just to make sure everything was fine with her and the baby. _That_ would have been normal. _

_What he had surely _not_ expected was to find Bella all but backed into a corner of the room, with three people around her trying to catch her flying arms while she did her very best to ward them off and yelled at them like a woman possessed._

"Hey! What's going on here?... what are you doing to her? Let her go!" _Edward__ didn't even stop to wonder who those people whom Bella obviously didn't want to have anything to do with were, although he suspected that they were part of the hospital staff, he just charged forward with the intention of getting them as far away as possible from Bella as he could, if that was what he had to do to see her calm down._

It was little wonder so, if he was surprised when Bella seemed to want to reject him, too.

"Don't t-touch me… I-I won't let you take my baby… you c-can't take my baby…" Bella cried out when she saw someone else attempting to reach her, and the way her voice broke a little more with each word she spoke was enough to break _Edward__'s own heart._

He didn't even mind that the fist that landed on his chin as she fought off his approach was sure to leave a bruise later, Bella was the only thing that mattered at that moment. She seemed hysterical, tears rolling uncontrolled down her cheeks, eyes unfocused, which obviously explained why she didn't even seem to recognize him, and _Edward__ couldn't help wondering what they could have told her, or done to her, to put her in such a state._

He didn't have more than a few seconds to ponder that thought however, because the next moment Bella seemed to double over in pain and he was by her side and gathering her in his arms in an instant.

"Shh… shh… It's me, Bella… It's me… It's _Edward__…" he soothed gently as he tried to stop her from pushing him away once more, his task made somewhat easier by the fact that Bella was now holding her stomach protectively with one arm. "Shh, baby… it's okay… I'm here now!"_

Bella struggled against him still a few seconds, until his tender voice registered in her brain and all fight finally left her. With a harsh sob that tore at _Edward__'s heart, she sagged against him and let him held her as close to him as he could with her five months pregnant belly between them._

"_Edward__?... __Edward__ … they want… they want to take o-our baby… don't let them take our baby, E-__Edward__ …" Bella's words were muffled against __Edward__'s chest, but they had the same impact on him that if she had been shouting them, her obvious desperation chilling him all over._

"Shh… no one's going to take our baby, sweetie…" _Edward__ cajoled as he held her for dear life but before he could stop himself, his eyes locked on the doctor who stood barely a few feet from them, a concerned look on her face._

"Don't let them… you can't l-let them…" Bella repeated brokenly, the way she clung to _Edward__ nearly cutting his air supply, but nothing would have made him ask her to let go._

"What's going on? What the hell have you done to her?" he addressed the doctor, a middle-aged woman whose nametag read 'Dr. Stewart', as he continued to run his fingers through Bella's hair and down her back.

She trembled in his arms, as she kept crying her heart out and _Edward__ knew it wouldn't be long, before she just collapsed completely._

"We were just trying to help her…" Dr Stewart ventured tentatively, but was almost immediately stopped in her attempt to explain when _Edward__ favored her with an incredulous stare that said as much as his next words did._

"Help her?... you call this_ helping her?" despite himself, his voice raised a few notches higher than necessary, and if he didn't care one way or another about what the doctor and the other people present in the room could think of him because of it, he almost instantly regretted it nonetheless when he felt Bella wince in his embrace and sob even harder, if that were possible._

"I assume you're Mr. _Cullen__?" the doctor ignored his tone and his words for now, wanting to confirm her suspicions before she gave him any further information concerning the woman they were trying to treat, and only when she saw him nod quickly at her own question, did she feel safe to go on. "Well, like I'm sure you've heard by now, Mr. __Cullen__, your wife suffered a fall…" she pursued, sure that he had heard all about it from the other young man who had accompanied Mrs. __Cullen__ here and had been the first to relate to them what had happened._

Considering how concerned for his friend he had seemed to be, concerned to the point everyone had at first assumed he_ was the woman's husband, she was quite sure he was still around somewhere, waiting for some news._

"Yes… is she… is she alright?" _Edward__ found himself asking apprehensively, not sure about the answer, given Bella's state and the fact that so far, all she had said had been barely coherent._

"Your wife is fine as far as we could tell, although we suspect she sprained her wrist…" the doctor informed _Edward__ and she wasn't at all surprised to see his worried gaze drift down to his wife, or how delicately he reached for her left arm to assess the damage himself._

"You suspect?" _Edward__ repeated, the look on his face clearly stating that there was no way it could be otherwise, considering the bluish color the skin of her wrist had already taken. _

_If there was a chance it wasn't broken, there was no doubt it _was_ indeed sprained._

"She hasn't let us approach her close enough to really see or treat her yet…" the doctor revealed, although she seemed to be a little uncomfortable about the fact.

Usually they didn't have so much trouble with patients, even 'pregnant' patients, but Mrs. _Cullen__ apparently seemed to have issues none of them were able to understand, if the way she had reacted when they had tried to examine her and her baby, or even if all those things she had been yelling about them wanting to take her baby away from her, were any indication._

There was probably more to that than they knew, but she hoped that Mr. _Cullen__ would be able to calm her down nonetheless now, at least long enough for them to be able to help her and see if nothing was wrong with her child._

"Bella?" _Edward__ whispered softly as he pulled slightly away from her, just far enough to look at her and try to understand why she wasn't letting them touch her and treat her injury, when he had no doubt that she had to be suffering a great deal because of it._

"They want to t-take our baby…" Bella moaned out for all explanation when their eyes met and _Edward__ had to swallow thickly not to sob himself when he took notice of the incredible pain reflected in her eyes._

"Is something wrong with the baby?" he turned to the other woman in the room again and asked apprehensively, his heart thudding erratically against his ribcage at the thought that they could have maybe said something to Bella about their child. Something that she couldn't bear and something that made her think that she had to protect their baby from them.

"That's what we were trying to determine when your wife… when she…" Dr. Stewart started explaining, only stopping short of saying something along the lines of 'when your wife turned all hysterical on us_' when she realized that that was probably not something she should say out loud, no matter how true it had actually been. "Anyway… apparently the high level of stress is causing your wife to have contractions and…"_

"C-Contractions?" _Edward__ interrupted her before she could say more, in what sounded more like a shriek than a simple word. "But she c-can't have contractions now… it's… it's way too soon…"_

_Edward__ felt dizzy suddenly with what this could imply, but he refused to think the worst of it. He _couldn't_ think the worst of it, or he knew he would lose it as surely as Bella had and one of them had to be strong here, if they hoped to get through this somehow._

"It is_ too soon, indeed… which is why we were trying to give your wife a sedative in the hopes that if we managed to calm her down some, it would be enough to control them and stop them…" the doctor replied, barely succeeding in reassuring __Edward__ however._

He might not know much about pregnancies, but he knew enough to understand what would happen, if they didn't manage to stop those contractions. And he knew, too, what it would mean for Bella.

"If you could just hold her a minute…" one of the male nurses who were in the room but hadn't said a word so far, suddenly suggested out of the blue and advanced to _Edward__ and Bella with a syringe in hand._

Before he could reach them though, Bella started getting agitated again and _Edward__ had no choice but to take a step back, seeing as she had obviously noticed the man and understood what he intended to do and still didn't want him to come anywhere close to her._

"It's just an injection… it will help…" the man insisted, but the mildly irritated tone he used and that suggested to _Edward__ that he was slowly but surely losing patience with Bella was enough for his own anger to bubble forth._

"You touch her before she's ready and I'll break both of your arms!" _Edward__ all but growled menacingly, causing the nurse to look at him like he had lost his mind, but he took a prudent step back nonetheless, the second he understood that the other man was all too serious and wouldn't hesitate to do just that, if he felt that was the only way to protect his wife._

"Mr. _Cullen__…" Dr. Stewart stepped forward as well this time and placed herself between the two men before this could degenerate, but she didn't need to say more than his name for __Edward__ to know that this was really serious and that they had to act fast, if they wanted to make things right._

If only he could convince Bella of that.

"Just give me a minute with my wife, okay!" _Edward__ retorted a little more curtly than he meant to, but he couldn't bring himself to care about being polite, when all he could think about was how much this was, and still had the potential of hurting Bella._

As gently as he could to not frighten her off, he tried to pull away so he could talk to her, but he soon understood that he wouldn't have much luck this way. Her grip on him tightened even more the second he tried to move her and he refused to push her too far, too soon.

"Okay, sweetie… just come here…" he breathed gently into her hair, barely a second before he scooped her up into his arms and cradled her protectively against his body, glaring openly at the nurse when he wasn't quick enough to move out of his way for his liking.

Bella wrapped her arms around _Edward__'s neck and held on like she meant to never let go and __Edward__ wasn't surprised to hear her whimpering in protest when he sat down on the hospital bed, like she actually thought he meant to force her to lie down on said bed and leave her there at the doctor and nurses' mercy._

"Don't go, E-_Edward__ …" she whined before __Edward__ could reassure her and it broke his heart a little more to see how insecure she was being all of a sudden._

Yeah, like he could be anywhere else than where he was being right then. Or like he could even want to. Nothing and no one in the world could make him leave her side, not until she would be alright again at least.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart… I'm right here…" _Edward__ assured her, kissing her crown tenderly and moving her around just enough so she would be comfortable on his lap and he wouldn't be hurting her, or the baby, in any way. "Baby, you have to let the doctor take a look at you and at the baby… you have to let her do her job…" he continued softly and immediately felt Bella go completely rigid in his arms the second she heard his suggestion._

"No… n-no… they want to take our baby… you… you c-can't let them take our baby…" Bella wailed and shook her head vehemently and _Edward__ was sure she would have all but bolted off his lap and ran out of there, if he hadn't been holding her so tightly._

"That's not what they're trying to do, Bella… they're just trying to help you…" _Edward__ contradicted quietly, one hand caressing her back while the other one rubbed gently over her protruding stomach._

The tender and slow gesture seemed to quiet Bella some, but obviously not enough for her to believe him completely, since she kept shaking her head despite his words, leading _Edward__ to consider changing tactics._

"Sweetie, look at me…" he sighed softly, trying to make her lift her head from where she hid it into the crook of his neck. He wasn't more surprised than that to see that it took him a few seconds of gentle coaxing to bring her to comply.

"Do you remember… the first time you told me… a-about the baby?..." he questioned in a soft breath, smiling lovingly at Bella when she looked back at him and nodded despite her tears. "You promised me the most beautiful gift you could give me that day… nothing could have made me happier in fact than hearing you say that we were finally having this baby, you know that, right?"

"I-I know…" Bella replied weakly, still remembering that day and his reaction when she had confirmed what he had seen like it was yesterday.

"And you remember how we b-both… how we both said that we were a l-little scared, too…" he continued carefully, one of his thumbs brushing Bella's tears away, despite the fact that it seemed to be useless, since they seemed to still come faster than he was able to catch them.

"Y-Yes…" Bella croaked out, her voice cracking on the single word, because if she had been scared back then, now she was terrified.

"I'm still scared, Bella… I'm so scared right now I feel like I c-can barely breathe…" _Edward__ admitted throatily, his own eyes filling with tears as Bella choked on a sob at his confession. "But baby, that day… that day I p-promised you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you, or to our child… and that's still true, baby… I swear, Bella… nothing and no one will make me break that promise to you… but I need your help for that… you trust me, right?"_

Another nod was all the answer he got again this time, but that was enough for him for now.

"You know that I would do anything for you… but as much as I wish I could take it all away, I can't… I-I c-can't help you right now… but they do… all you have to do is have that small injection…" he went on and had to wrap his arms around Bella just a little tighter, when he felt her struggling against him again the moment she heard him.

"No, they're going to hurt our baby…" she cried out and _Edward__ had to swallow past the huge lump that clogged his throat, when she pinned him with a glistening and betrayed look._

"Listen to me, Bella… you know that I love you more than anything else in this world… I-I mean, you, and Janelle, and this baby… and I would never_ ask you to do anything if I thought it could hurt either of you in any way…" fingers threading through the hair at her temple, __Edward__ barely breathed the words above a murmur, his forehead against hers now, the scene looking so intimate, it made the three other people in the room feel almost uncomfortable as they witnessed it, even if they actually couldn't hear a word of what was being said between them._

"Please, _Edward__… p-please, don't let them do this…" Bella begged hoarsely, the look of anguish she gave him causing __Edward__'s own tears to fall at last._

"Shh… shh… I know you're scared, sweetie… but I need you to do this for me… just this once, Bella… I need you to trust me and do this f-for me, okay?... it will just take a minute… and then you won't feel any more pain…" _Edward__ started to rock her gently, although his eyes never left hers all the while._

"E-_Edward__…"_

"Just a minute… just a short m-minute, I-I promise… just hold on to me, baby… I've got you… everything's gonna be alright…" _Edward__ kept on whispering in the same gentle tone, but this time he cradled her even closer while he continued rocking her and he was glad when Bella buried her face into his chest at last, so she wouldn't see or hear anything else but him. "We're gonna be alright…"_

His swaying motions lasted for a few minutes until Bella seemed to calm down enough for him to concentrate again on what was happening around him, although all the while, much to his dismay, she didn't stop crying.

Very carefully, so to not startle her again, he disentangled one of her arms from where she had it firmly wrapped around his neck, stroked it gently up and down for a few precious seconds, and then let it slide behind him, though he kept holding it so he would maintain it extended.

When she didn't fight him despite the small moan of protest he still heard coming from her lips, he searched for the doctor with his eyes, giving her a look that seemed to say 'if you want to do whatever it is you need to do, _you_ do it, but you do it now!_' as soon as he found her._

He knew that they had all been extremely patient with them, but _Edward__ was lucid enough to know that there was only so much he could do and that Bella's relatively sudden quietness wouldn't last long, if they didn't hurry._

The nurse that had already tried to approach Bella several times earlier, started advancing towards them again, but he had only taken a couple of steps when Dr. Stewart stopped him with an 'I got it' and he had no other choice but to give her the syringe he had still been holding all this time.

Doctor Stewart was tempted to suggest to _Edward__ that he laid his wife down for this, but the way he wrapped her completely into his embrace then, clearly showed that they would have to do it his way or no way at all, because he had apparently absolutely no intention of letting her go, or even less letting her get through this alone._

As gently as she could herself, she took Bella's arm to do her job, _Edward__ not needing to see the action to know exactly the second she touched her when he felt Bella stiffen first and then wince and whimper when the woman apparently injected her._

"Shh… it's nothing… it's okay… I'm right here…" _Edward__ soothed, trying to smile through his tears when Bella pulled away long enough to give him one last teary look._

Whatever they had given her, it seemed to be acting quite fast, _Edward__ realized as her eyelids already started to droop after only a mere couple of minutes, Bella blinking repeatedly to apparently fight the effect._

Cupping her face in his hands, _Edward__ softly brushed his lips against hers, his tears mixing with her own, although Bella barely responded to his kisses. For once he didn't mind however, because this was probably more for him than it was for her._

"I love you…" he murmured thickly then, not really waiting for an answer but needing her to remember nonetheless.

Bella's head slowly fell forward until it was resting against his shoulder again, _Edward__'s fingers finding their way through her hair once more the second she was settled._

"Don't… don't let them take our b-baby again, E-_Edward__…" was the last thing Bella said before she finally closed her eyes and let the medication they had given her work its magic, and if __Edward__ hadn't already suspected before why Bella had been acting so uncharacteristically and why she had been so unreasonable about all this, that last sentence would certainly have been explanation enough on its own._

Even if they hadn't talked about it again since that first day when Bella had told him about the baby, the fear of anything going wrong and them losing it had never been too far from their minds for all that, although they never let it rule them, but _Edward__ knew now that that had probably been the only thing Bella had been able to think about today. She had probably thought about it the second she had fallen, without much consideration for her own injury, and all the way to the hospital, only to completely lose it when they had tried to examine her. _

_As illogical or far from the truth as it could have been, Bella had most likely convinced herself that if she let them get anywhere close to her or the baby, they would only hurt him or her, instead of just checking on them and helping them like they meant to. _

_Yes, only the fear of losing another child could have made Bella act like she had._

Remembering how she had looked completely out of control and on the verge of a nervous breakdown when he had first entered this room was enough for _Edward__ to feel like he was suffocating, but he forced himself to push that thought to the back of his mind, knowing that if he didn't, they would probably have to give him something, too, when he finally lost it himself._

As he tried to compose himself, he noticed the doctor looking at him questioningly and it made him realize that being so close now, she had most likely heard what Bella had said this time.

"Uh… Bella… she… she had a m-miscarriage last year…" he coughed and stood up with Bella in his arms, but refused to look at any of the people in the room, not wanting to see pity, or whatever else in their eyes. 

_All he wanted was to make them understand that Bella wasn't crazy and that there had been something -something that still hurt too much to bear a repeat- behind the way she had behaved._

"Oh… I understand…" the doctor nodded and whispered, the pieces of the puzzle finally coming together.

She had thought earlier that there had to be something more, something they were missing, and now she knew exactly what kind of traumatic experience this couple, and more particularly this young woman had gone through to make her so frightened of being approached, or touched.

At that, _Edward__ just made a weird throaty sound that seemed to say he doubted she really did, if as a woman she hadn't gone through the same as well herself, and then indicated the bed with a jerk of his head. "Could you just…"_

"Sure!" the doctor instantly understood what he wanted to do and she was quick to push the covers down, so he could lie Bella down.

He did so like he was handling the most precious thing in the world to him and the doctor didn't doubt that that was exactly how he viewed his wife. It was in every touch, in every word he had spoken to her, in every look he bestowed upon her. One would have to be completely blind not to see just how much he loved this woman.

He pulled the covers back over her with the same gentle care, like he was afraid he would wake her up if he was too brusque with her, placed a loving kiss upon her forehead after having tenderly brushed a few tendrils of hair back, and then finally turned to her again.

"Could you… could you make sure they're both alright, now?" he demanded quite emotionally then, showing that he had apparently only kept it together before for his wife's sake and wasn't far from breaking down himself now.

"Of course." She conceded easily, since she had already planned to do just that, and she took her stethoscope from around her neck before moving to Bella's side.

_Edward__'s eyes never left her all the while and he could feel himself breaking into a sweat with each minute that passed. Her examination seemed to last an eternity to him and he couldn't even tell if the sigh she expelled once she seemed to be done and she finally stepped back again was one of relief, or of worry._

"Is she going to be okay? And the baby… is the baby going to be alright, too?" his gaze seemed to be pleading with her to give him some news at last and Dr. Stewart favored him with a small smile, even if she knew that that would probably not be reassurance enough.

"Yes, they should be… as long as we manage to keep your wife calm… they should be fine… I'd like to run some tests just to be sure there are no complications and we'll be monitoring both of them closely for the next few hours, but her contractions were fortunately still far between and that's good… I mean, all facts considered…" Dr. Stewart told him, hoping that it would appease him some, at least for the time being.

He would certainly not feel completely better until she could tell him without the slightest doubt or hesitation that his baby was completely out of danger, but hopefully this was a start.

"O-Okay… thank you!" _Edward__ murmured gratefully, taking his position by Bella's side as soon as he could without getting in the doctor's way._

The first thing he did once he was settled down, was to brush away the few traces of tears that were still left on Bella's cheeks and then he took her hand in his, his eyes drifting to her hurt one almost in the next second, which didn't go unnoticed by the doctor.

"I'll send someone to take care of that in a minute…" she announced immediately, not wanting him to think that she had forgotten about it, or that they would leave her unattended. She had indeed seen for herself that her wrist was sprained and would most likely need to be immobilized for a while if she wanted it to heal fast, when she had checked on her barely a few minutes ago. "Okay, I'll leave you with your wife now then… if you have any question or if you need anything… feel free to ask a nurse to page me, okay?" she added when he nodded at her first statement and squeezed his shoulder encouragingly, before she could stop herself. 

"_Sure, I will… thanks!" __Edward__ answered a little distractedly as he concentrated again on Bella, his eyes following the steady up and down motions of her chest as she slowly breathed in and out, but he smiled back, at least as best as he could under such circumstances, when she did herself just before she moved to exit the room._

The next instants were a blur of activity, between the different nurses coming and going and taking care of Bella in a way or another.

When they were finished, nearly an hour had passed, but _Edward__ was at least comforted by the regular beeping sound that indicated Bella's strong heartbeat and the reassuring oscillations of their baby's own rhythm he could see on the monitors they had hooked up and installed near Bella's bed._

Bella had actually slept during the whole procedure despite all the noise they could have been making, but _Edward__ was glad for the fact. The less stress she underwent right now, the better. She looked peaceful right now, and he really wanted to keep it that way for as long as it was possible. He was clearly in no way ready to see a repeat of the scene he had witnessed earlier. He would already have a hard enough time forgetting the sight of Bella in such a state. _

-TWILIGHT-

__

Another hour or so had gone by since the last time anyone had come in to check on Bella and the baby. Not that _Edward__ would really be able to say precisely, or that it really mattered. His eyes had stayed on Bella's still form all the while, the only moment he had actually momentarily left the chair he was still currently sitting on was when a nurse had come in to inform him that his 'friend' was still there and was asking for information on Bella's state._

_Edward__ had talked with __Jacob__ a few minutes to reassure him and thank him for having come with Bella, but had told him that he could go back to the school when __Jacob__ had offered to stay, if he wanted him to. _

_As much as he appreciated the offer though, __Edward__ had declined nonetheless, knowing that there wouldn't be much more __Jacob__ would be able to do here anyway and that the school would probably be glad to have some news as well. He knew just how appreciated and liked Bella was there and that __Harry__ and most of her colleagues, who had surely all heard about what had happened to her by now if they hadn't before, would be just as worried about her as __Jacob__ had been._

Now he sat there, fingers caressing the hand he had held on to all the time, but careful not to mess with the device they had clipped on her index finger to monitor her heart almost as soon as they had finished examining her. Bella had barely moved at all since then, but holding her warm hand, lacing his fingers with hers was at least comforting and appeasing.

His other hand couldn't help running over her rounded belly, as he found himself needing some kind of contact with his baby as well. From time to time, he could feel slight movement under his touch, and as soft and brief as the motions could be, _Edward__ didn't think he had ever felt happier than to still be able to feel his son or daughter move so easily._

Bella's contractions had stopped practically on their own like the doctor had predicted, but she had also warned _Edward__ the last time she had come in, that it would be up to him to keep Bella calm once the medication would have worn off and she would wake up, so that what had happened earlier couldn't occur again._

Those contractions had apparently been only stress-induced, like had been the doctor's first supposition, and there was definitely nothing wrong with the baby, but Dr. Stewart had insisted on the fact that the first few minutes after waking up, Bella might feel a little confused and disoriented and that he would have to stop her from panicking again, which could definitely happen when she would realize she was in a strange bed, in a strange hospital room and she remembered what had happened and how scared she had been before they had sedated her.

_Edward__ had no intention of letting that happen of course, and not knowing what else to do for now, he found himself speaking before he could think about it twice, or realize what he was doing._

"Hey, sweetie… it's daddy…" he whispered against her stomach, like he had done about a hundred of times before since he had learned that Bella was carrying his child, only he was careful to keep his voice real low this time, so he wouldn't disturb Bella in any way. "I know I have said this many times before, but this time… I r-really hope that you can hear me… I know you're still little, honey… but you have to do something for me… I… mommy and I… we love you so much… you… you mean the world to us already and the l-last…god, the last thing we want is seeing anything happening to you… and your mother… y-your mother… she's just the most amazing woman in the world…" his voice cracked slightly on the words, but he forced himself to go on, his fingers strumming over Bella's stomach in the sweetest, gentlest way, so the baby would hopefully not only hear him, but feel him close, too.

"Sh-She really is, you know… and I'm not just saying that because I love her… although I do, very much so… she's owned my heart for a long time now… you b-better get used to it, I guess… I've heard…" he stopped briefly to cast a loving look upon Bella's serene face and make sure that she wasn't listening to him babble his heart out to their unborn child. "I've heard that I tend to get a little carried away and way too demonstrative when it comes to her… so you'll probably see things you wish you wouldn't have to see sooner or later… just ask your sister…" he chuckled softly, as he recalled how many times he had had to hear Janelle say that they were 'yucky', because they were always kissing now and unable to keep from touching almost every time they were in the same room together.

"Anyway… she is… your mommy… a-amazing, that is… and I know that she'll protect you with her life if you let her… the same as I-I will… I swear, once you're out of there… I'll protect you till my l-last breath, sweetie, because… well, that's my job… that's what d-daddies do… and because I-I love you so much already, i-it would just kill me if… if anything ever happened to you… but right now… right now it's too soon… mommy and I… we really can't wait to see you, but now… it's just too soon… I c-can't… I can't p-protect you right now… as much as I want to…" it broke his heart to have to say as much, but _Edward__ knew all too well how true it unfortunately was, that thought making him feel more useless than he had ever felt in his whole life. "I-I can't, but mommy… m-mommy, she's trying to… I know she will do her best to protect you and keep you safe as long as you're in there… she will do her part… but you have to help a little, too… you know, be a good baby for mommy… b-be strong… and stay patiently in there until it's really time for you to come out… let her take care of you… and don't… just… just d-don't hurt her, okay?... that's all I'm asking of you…" he finished in a choked breath, but couldn't help the small trembling smile that tugged at his lips when he felt a sudden move under his fingertips. "See… I knew you'd get it… I keep telling your mom, but she…"_

"_Edward__?" his name being called softly from the doorway interrupted his thoughts and his monologue and when he turned around, he wasn't surprised to see his mother standing there, a concerned frown on her face._

Very slowly, he let go of Bella's fingers and delicately placed her hand over the left bandaged one that was already resting over her belly, and after having kissed her lips softly, he moved to the door, exiting the room quietly to speak with his mother.

"Hey, mom."

"Hey, sweetie." Esme engulfed her son in a strong hug as soon as he reached her and then, brushed away the tears he had not even been aware he had been crying again. "How are they? Everything's alright?"

Considering his state, she wasn't sure it was the case, but she really hoped with all her might that both Bella and her grandchild would be okay. She wasn't sure how _Edward__ would cope, if it indeed weren't the case._

"Yeah… yeah, they're good… the doctor said they should be fine…" he repeated what he had been told himself earlier, but his mother could see that he would only really believe it when Bella would be out of there and safe at home, where he could take care of her and pamper her, like he had done till now, for every second of her pregnancy.

"Then, I'm sure they will be… they'll be alright, _Edward__." Esme said with way more assurance than he felt himself, wanting to be positive here._

If the doctor was being optimistic, there was no reason for them to not be as well.

"They have to… I… they j-just have to… because I-I don't think we can go through this again… B-Bella… it would… it would kill her, if anything happened to the b-baby…" tears filled his eyes again before he could stop himself and it was only when he saw his mother looking at him with a shocked expression on her face, that he realized what he had just said.

"A-Again?… what do you mean by again_, __Edward__?" she asked the question he knew she would, and he wasn't in the least surprised._

_Edward__ had said too much, of course, his parents or anyone else for that matter, beside __Jacob__ and __Alice,__ not having any idea of what Bella had already been through. They had seen no reason to bring it all up and talk about it with everyone truthfully, because no matter what, there was nothing any of them could have done about it._

Only now he had let the cat out of the bag so to speak and he knew he would have to explain. Twice in a day he had to say the words, and they seemed to just hurt a little more each time.

"L-Last year when… when we were at odds… B-Bella… she had a miscarriage… she d-doesn't talk about it anymore… but if anything happened now…" he trailed off before he could say more, but Esme didn't need him to, to know exactly what he meant.

"Oh, honey… I'm so sorry!" she moaned out and didn't think about it twice before engulfing her son into another hug.

Only this time _Edward__ held her back with about as much strength, needing the comfort, even if it were only for a few precious minutes. And no one gave better hugs, beside Bella of course, than his mother could._

"How… how's Janelle?" _Edward__ asked when they pulled apart and he had wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, not wanting to let himself think too long about what had happened in the past, or he knew he would just drown._

He felt a little guilty to not have inquired about Janelle before, but with all that had been happening, he had barely had time to think about anything. He knew that his daughter was in good hands though, which was why he had called his mother the second he had gotten into his car and had taken the direction of the hospital, asking her to go and pick Janelle from school for them after he had told her what little he knew of what had happened. 

_His only instruction had actually been that she didn't take her to the hospital, even if it stopped Esme from coming as well until his father was off work, but he had thought it better until he had more information concerning Bella's state._

"She's fine… I told her Chestnut was missing her and that she could spend the night and she didn't ask anymore question… your father is with her now… I-I didn't know if you wanted me to tell her or…" she explained, hoping that it would be alright.

He hadn't told her what he wanted Janelle to know or not, so she had decided to wait until she had more news before she scared that little girl, and using her dog to explain why she was the one picking her up instead of her mother had been the only thing she could think about to not alarm her at the moment.

Carlisle had agreed with her when he had gotten home himself and then she had rushed here as soon as she had had someone to stay with Janelle, anxious to know more about Bella's state herself.

"No, that's alright… no reason to scare her…" _Edward__ confirmed before she could even finish, glad that she had taken care of that for him. He didn't want to say anything to Janelle for now, hoping that even if Bella had to spend the night here, she would at least hopefully be released the next day and Janelle would be none the wiser about what had happened. "Thank you, mom._

"Oh, no need to thank me, _Edward__… you know how much we love having her anyway…" Esme stated with a smile, having Janelle home being always a pleasure, even when she was being a handful, and that happened quite often now since they had the dog at their house. "You just concentrate on Bella for now, okay!... Janelle will be alright with us!"_

"Okay… I… I should probably go back with Bella… I don't want her to be alone if she wakes up… j-just in case, you know…" _Edward__ acquiesced and then couldn't help glancing back inside the room, checking that Bella was still peacefully asleep._

"Of course…" Esme nodded, completely understanding his desire to be near his wife. "Do you want me to stay with you?" she couldn't help offering nonetheless, even if she knew there probably wouldn't be much she would be able to do, except waiting with him.

"No, that's okay… Bella will probably be out of it for a while anyway… even if she wakes up soon… but I'll call you as soon as I know more." _Edward__ said, not seeing any reason for his mother to stay waiting around. _

_He didn't feel like talking much himself right now anyway, and she would certainly be more useful at home with Janelle._

"Okay… if you're sure…" Esme conceded after a moment, not wanting to force him in any way.

"Thank you again, mom." _Edward__ breathed out and after having kissed her cheek, he pulled her into his arms once more. "Tell Janelle that we love her and that I'll call her later tonight." he added once they parted, promising himself that he would do so before it was time for her to go to bed._

Hopefully, Bella would be okay and feeling a little better, too, then, and she would be able to talk with her as well, otherwise Janelle would surely wonder where her mother was, and that wasn't something he was looking forward to explain to her.

"Sure, I will." Esme answered right away, quite reluctant to have to leave, but knowing that she had little choice in the matter. After all, that was what _Edward__ wanted. "Okay, I'll talk to you later then… take good care of Bella… and don't worry too much, okay?... everything will be alright in the end." were her departing words and she hoped that __Edward__ wouldn't have to call her a liar later on._

"I will… bye, mom." _Edward__ replied, smiling sadly nonetheless when his mother answered with a soft '_bye_' of her own and then moved down the hall, although it seemed to cost her a great deal to have to leave her son alone in this hospital._

_Edward__ watched her go for a few seconds and when she stopped walking half-backwards and looking at him like she was about to cry herself and run back to him, he stepped back inside Bella's room, reclaiming his seat at her bedside again and praying that she would soon open her eyes and tell him that she was feeling well enough for him to take her home again. _

-TWILIGHTTWILIGHTTWILIGHT-

Edward could without problem say now that that day had honestly been one of the longest of his life, but fortunately his mother had been right and everything had indeed gone alright in the end.

Bella had actually woken up not so long after his mother had left the hospital and like he had been instructed, he had done all he could to keep her calm. Despite his success though, there had been a lot of tears, on both sides, but they had gone through it all together, closer through their pain and fear than they had ever been.

Dr Stewart had been reassuring once she had examined an awaken Bella, although it had taken a great deal of patience on her part to convince Bella that staying overnight was only a precaution and didn't mean in any way that anything was wrong with the baby or with her.

Edward himself had probably never been more ecstatic than he had been when he had finally been able to take Bella home the next afternoon and he had scrupulously followed the doctor's instructions to not let Bella strain herself for at least a week after and had even promised to take her back to the hospital, right away, no matter how much she could protest, the second they thought something was wrong.

Fortunately for them, that trip had been the first and last one they had had to take to the hospital during Bella's pregnancy and beside the regular monthly checkups, Bella hadn't needed to go and see a doctor since then.

Now though, Edward felt the same kind of fear he had felt that day months ago, and he could only hope that nothing was really wrong with Bella.

He had tried to call her back on his way, only to have her pick up and yell at him to '_get the hell here, now_' before she hung up on him the next second and ever since then, he had been trying to come up with any possible argument that could convince him that she was just feeling tired and irritated, or not feeling so well and only wanted to go home sooner than it was planned, and that it wasn't actually something worse.

Reaching the school at last and spotting the ambulance parked just in front of it pretty much sent those thoughts flying right through the window however, and Edward had to wonder how he didn't crash the car in the last few meters before he was able to park himself.

He didn't even bother locking the doors, he just jumped right out and ran through the school hallways like a man who felt his life could very well be hanging in the balance, cursing all the way the damned roadblock that had forced him to take back roads to get there and made him waste some precious time.

At first he had no idea of where he would be finding Bella, but seeing the mass of people crowded together just in front of her classroom pretty much clued him in right away.

He was almost there when Bella's cry pierced the air and his heart and he pushed his legs even faster, only stopping briefly to push past the students who were all trying to get a peek at what was going on inside.

"Excuse me!" he nearly had to elbow his way through them, which already irritated him greatly, but then he couldn't help glaring sharply when one of them made a comment Edward wished he would never have to hear coming out of the mouth of another man, no matter how true he thought the statement was himself.

"Can you believe it? Even like that she's still fucking hot!" one student whispered to his friend, completely unaware of who was standing right behind him now.

"Hey! That's _my_ wife you're talking about!" Edward growled before he could stop himself, not even needing to follow his line of vision to know he was indeed talking about Bella, and then he pushed the guy out of his way until he was himself standing on the doorway and blocking everyone's vision of what was going on inside, at least as best as he could.

"Oh, s-sorry… hi… Mr. C-Cullen…" the young man had at least the grace to blush and appear sheepish, as he indeed recognized his teacher's husband, but that didn't stop Edward from looking at him like the young man should really run, if he didn't want to get hurt.

"Yeah… _Mr. Cullen_… as in husband of a very married, very happy and very much pregnant with _his_ child Mrs. Cullen… don't you forget it!" Edward retorted quite possessively and then couldn't help closing the door right on all those curious' faces, wondering briefly why no one had thought about doing just that before.

That thought was quickly forgotten however, when he heard Bella scream in pain again and he immediately turned around, momentarily freezing on the spot when he saw her on one of those gym mattresses, legs slightly parted, with a woman at her feet and another one behind her, apparently supporting her weight, while a third one coached her and reminded her to breathe deeply.

The next second her scream turned into a long growl and he was even more astounded to hear the words that came out of her mouth next.

"… and someone move those desks or something, dammit… I don't want the whole student body to have a look at m-my… pudenda… this is no free peep show… _you perverts_!" she yelped as she doubled over in pain and Edward realized that she had apparently not seen him yet, or realized that he had closed the door.

Choosing not to dwell on her words for now, he rushed to her side, the woman behind her who he now recognized as the school nurse spotting him before Bella could herself and giving him what he believed to be a grateful and relieved smile.

Edward didn't understand it right away, but it all became clear when she almost immediately moved to let him take her place and he understood then that she had apparently only moderately appreciated to have her hand all but crushed into dust.

"Hey, baby!" Edward whispered softly as he settled down behind Bella and instantly took her hand in his.

"E-Edward!" Bella moaned out in obvious relief when the fog caused by the incommensurable pain she was feeling cleared some and she saw he had finally arrived.

"Shh… it's okay, sweetheart… I'm here now…" he soothed gently, kissing her crown as she leant more firmly against his strong chest, and then he couldn't help looking apprehensively at the EMT that was at Bella's feet. "What's going on?... and what are you still doing here?...why are you not taking her to the hospital?" he demanded, seeming strangely calm considering it seemed evident that Bella would be giving birth today, but all that apparent fake calmness crashed right through the window in the next second when what he already suspected was confirmed.

"A-Apparently the baby's coming t-too fast… she didn't want to take any risks!" Bella was the one to answer him, repeating what 'Laura' had told her earlier, and Edward felt himself blanch slightly when he heard her.

"Fast? As in now?... I mean, l-like… _now_?" he stuttered before he could stop himself, suddenly feeling dizzy.

Oh. God.

"Yes, _now_, Edward!" Bella all but growled as she was hit with another contraction and she had to bite her bottom lip nearly to the blood to not scream her lungs off again.

God, she didn't know how much longer she could go through this with barely any drugs at all.

"But there's still three weeks to go…" Edward knew he was pointing the obvious, but he didn't know what else to say, or how to react.

He remembered Bella's obstetrician saying that it wouldn't be surprising, or abnormal, if the baby came sooner than what they had been said at first, but he couldn't help wondering if it weren't still _too_ soon.

"Well, apparently J-Junior here didn't get that memo!" Bella gritted out as she went through another strong contraction. Obviously they were really coming faster now. "OOhhh, g-gooooood!"

"Oh… oh, but is he… the baby's okay, right?" Edward asked anxiously, his eyes locked with the paramedic's, begging her to tell him that he was.

"As far as I can tell the baby is perfectly fine, but we have to get it out of there… if only your wife wouldn't refuse to push…" the uniformed woman revealed, the scolding evident in her voice and Edward understood right away that she wasn't exactly happy with Bella. Not that he could blame her right now.

"_What_? Bella?" he all but cried out incredulously himself, staring down at Bella with a look that said that she better have a good explanation for that.

"I-I was waiting for you…" Bella said in a small voice that was enough to make Edward forget about everything else and cause his heart to swell with love.

"Oh, okay… o-okay, well… I'm here now, sweetheart…" he murmured after a few seconds spent just looking at her, and then he brushed a few strands of damp hair off her forehead. "Let's have this baby, then… I can't wait to meet our son…" he added in a throaty sigh, placing a soft kiss on her temple and smiling down at her.

"O-Okay!" Bella's own whisper ended up in a groan, as pain shot through her womb once more, but at least with Edward there now, she felt ready to do this. Or as ready as she would ever be, she guessed.

Bella was actually hoping that this would go fast and that she wouldn't have to feel like her insides were being shred to pieces time and time over again for too long, but unfortunately it took way longer than what the EMT had first assumed and she would probably have had time to go to the hospital and back twice, freaking roadblock or not, that she still would have not delivered the baby.

"Push, Bella… that's it… push…" the paramedic coaxed her for what seemed to be the millionth time to Bella and she had to force herself to not yell at her what she exactly thought of her at the moment.

"Keep pushing, baby…" Edward encouraged himself, although he was grimacing behind Bella as she clutched his hand in a death grip once more that made him wonder where the hell she had suddenly gotten all that strength from.

He could barely feel his fingers anymore and was seriously pondering if it were possible for Bella to just break his hand with her own bare and small one.

"I _am_ pushing, dammit… j-just what the hell do you think I've been d-doing so far?... taking a walk in the park?" Bella all but yelled quite unkindly at him, but Edward didn't let that faze him anymore.

He couldn't even believe himself some of the things that had already spurted out of Bella's normally sweet mouth and he was sure she would have been able to make even the toughest trucker blush at times, although the paramedic had told him that that was pretty normal, given the fact that Bella was giving birth 'naturally' and basically feeling every second of it.

She had heard worse apparently, since this wasn't the first birth she had assisted in, but Edward himself could clearly not remember having heard Bella being so… 'vocal'… when Janelle herself had been born, and she was their first.

"Well, push harder then… it's almost over…" Edward insisted, but his tone was nothing but tender and soothing.

He hated seeing Bella like this, but he knew there wasn't much he could do for her right now but be there and support her as best as he could.

"A-Almost over… my ass…" Bella grumbled, not even wanting to count anymore how many times she had already heard him say so, since she had started pushing. "G-God… it huuuuurts!"

"I know, honey… but you're doing great…" Edward answered patiently, squeezing Bella's hand in encouragement once more.

"Well, _you_ should be the one doing this… that would be even g-greater…" she retorted breathlessly as the paramedic told her she could stop pushing for a few seconds, her words causing Edward to shudder just at the thought. There were a lot of things he would do for Bella, and gladly, but _that_… yeah, mind you, he would surely pass. "And g-god… I loved this dress… and now, you just ruined it…"

"I ruined…" Edward trailed off awkwardly, wondering what the hell she was talking about now and how it could be his fault. How could _he_ have ruined her dress? "Bella?"

"Come on, Bella… forget about the dress for now and concentrate… here we go again…" Laura told Bella before she could answer anything to Edward, wanting her to be ready to push again at her signal.

"Yes, baby… just a little more… you can do it… I know you can do it… I love you…" Edward cajoled lovingly, deciding to forget about Bella's incoherencies for now as well.

She probably wasn't thinking very clearly right now.

"I so _hate_ you right now!" Bella groaned out as Laura gave her the go ahead and she started to push with all her might once more.

"I'm sure you do…" Edward chuckled despite himself, this being almost nothing compared to some of the things he had heard today.

"Oh, you think I'm kidding?" Bella asked between two deep breaths. "You j-just wait… let me just… aaah… _expel_… y-your son out of my body… and then… then I am so _killing_ you…"

"Whatever you want, baby…" Edward tried to placate her yet again, choosing not to take her threat too seriously and Bella proved him he was right to do so with her next sentence, as she found another target for her anger, or frustration.

"G-God… he couldn't even wait a little l-longer… noooo, he just _had_ to decide to come to the world in my freaking classroom… of all the places…" Bella complained, clenching her teeth once more and then expelling a very long, tired breath.

"Well, our daughter wants to become a lawyer now… maybe this one already knows he wants to be a scientist… or a biology teacher, just like his mommy… who knows?" Edward wiped at Bella's sweaty forehead and joked good-naturedly which apparently, at the moment, wasn't exactly to Bella's liking and didn't make her laugh. At all.

"This is so _not_ funny, Edward!" Bella all but shrieked and it almost immediately made Edward regret his bad attempt at humor.

Obviously, right now, Bella was in no mood to deal with it.

"I know, I'm sorry… but I promise to make it up to you later…" he apologized and promised in a tender whisper, but to say that he was in no way prepared for Bella's reaction to his words would have been the mother of understatement.

"Oh, no… you won't… you _so_ won't… I know all too well how you m-make up for… aaa-ahhhh… god, _everything_… you damned _pervert_… and I'm telling you… you are not… t-touching me… ever… again…" Bella threatened in a grunt, causing Edward to blush to the roots of his hair first when he noticed the EMT stifle a laugh, and then to look completely appalled at the thought of really not being able to touch her again.

She wasn't serious, right? She couldn't be?

"Ah, B-Bella?" Edward stammered hesitantly, hoping that she would tell him it was only a joke.

It had to be, because seriously, it had barely been two weeks since the last time they had really made love and he felt like he was going crazy most of the time, he surely wouldn't survive a life of abstinence.

"Lovely wife you have here, Mr. Cullen…" Laura chuckled softly, but she sobered up rather quickly when said wife threw her a glare that was enough to chill her all over and make her want to clamp her mouth shut forever. "Come on, Bella… you're almost there… we have the head now…" she pursued more seriously again and even tried to smile reassuringly at Bella, though it didn't seem to have the effect she had been going for.

"Oh, the head… thank God for you… and here I was sure I-I just felt a f-freaking watermelon slipping through my legs after tearing my insides apart… but if you tell me it's j-just the _head_ … who a-am I to say you're wrong, huh?" Bella spat out sarcastically and even Edward cringed at her tone.

It was _that_ scary and foreign to him, but seriously, like she could have missed it when she had suddenly felt like she was split in two.

"Come on, love… it's almost done… in a few minutes we'll see our son…" Edward breathed out thickly, barely able to take the wait any longer now. And not just because he really wanted to see their baby more than anything in the world at that instant, but also because he wasn't sure how much more Bella could still take.

"Oh, _go-oooood_…" Bella's next cry had most likely been heard all the way to the other side of the school, but really like hell didn't even begin to describe just how much this hurt. She clearly had to have completely forgotten all about the pain from the last time to really have been so eager to go through this again. "Oh, L-Lord… I'm sure he's g-got your head… he _must_ have gotten y-your fat, freaking stubborn head… that's why… ughhnnn… that's why he couldn't g-get out of there without tearing me apart and c-causing me irreversible damages…" she rambled on then and Edward found himself wondering how she could have said so much in only one breath and while she was still pushing.

"Oh, man…" Edward didn't know if he should chuckle or just growl at that, but he surely couldn't help rolling his eyes heavenwards. "Bella, I love you, baby… I really do… but if you don't stop messing with that little guy… you and I… we're gonna have a problem…"

"You're the one who's gonna… a-aah… have a freaking problem when…" Bella started to shoot back, but the rest of the words died in her throat when the first cry of their son split the air, making anything she could have said next completely insignificant compared to that magical sound. "E-Edward …"

"You did it, sweetie… you d-did it…" Edward had a hard time controlling the emotion in his own voice and he was practically sure that if he wasn't yet, he would be crying soon, as he caught his first brief glimpse of his son.

"Oh-kay… we've got him now… You want to cut the cord, _daddy_?" Laura offered as she held their son securely and after having checked him up briefly, extended the instrument she had in her other hand to the proud father, Edward unable to do a thing but nod, the ball in his throat preventing him from saying a word.

He followed her instructions and did exactly what she said with trembling fingers, feeling the same incredible wonder he had felt more than six years ago when Janelle had been born herself and he had done this, too, and it was through blurred eyes that he and Bella followed their son as he was passed to and tended to by the second paramedic who hadn't done much until then.

Laura concentrated again on Bella then, helping her deliver the afterbirth, but Bella herself couldn't hear or see a thing beside her baby.

"Is he alright? Edward?... E-Edward … go see if he's alright!" she all but begged after a few long interminable minutes, having not even gotten a clear look at her son yet.

She knew they had to check on him and clean him some up, but he was still crying and she just wanted to take him in her arms already. The few feet separating her from where he stood in the arms of the paramedic seemed like miles away to her. She wanted her son.

"Shhh… don't worry… he obviously is… can't you hear him screaming?... our son has quite a set of lungs on him!" Edward reassured her quickly and he couldn't have kept the edge of pride off his voice if he had been paid for it.

God, he had a son!

"You s-sure… he's just…" Bella couldn't help but insist nonetheless, vaguely noticing that she was being cleaned up herself as well but unable to care at the moment.

"Yes, he's fine, baby…" Edward replied and tenderly cupped the side of her face to force her to look up at him for a few minutes. "Hey, I've got something for you." He told her then, once he got her attention, even if he knew that it probably wouldn't be for long, and then he searched his shirt pocket for what he wanted to give her.

Bella followed his hand and when she saw him pull a very small round box out, she couldn't help looking at him questioningly. At least until he opened it and asked her to give him her left wrist. When he took off the charm bracelet he had given her months before when they had barely reconciled and added two new charms to it, she knew exactly what they were before even seeing them clearly.

"How did you…" she breathed softly, looking at her bracelet and seeing that she had now a new 'J' and a new heart added to the others and to the 'B' and 'E' that represented all of their initials.

It was absolutely perfect, Edward having disposed the last heart so one would be between and around all the initials again, hers and Edward's in the middle with a 'J' for their children's names on each side, but she still couldn't help wondering how he had thought to take the new ones with him just today.

"I've been carrying them everywhere around with me for a few weeks now, just in case…" Edward revealed with a tender smile that made Bella melt about as much as his words already did.

She was just about to open her mouth to thank him and tell him how much that meant to her then, when Laura coming back to them with a little bundle in her arms made her forget all about what she had been about to say.

"Oh, god… E-Edward…" Bella choked out as the paramedic slowly lowered her son to lay him down on his mommy's chest.

"Here he is…" Laura whispered, so to not startle the baby who had just barely stopped crying at the top of his lungs. "So… does this little treasure have a name already?" she inquired then as she let Bella hold her son for the very first time, not surprised to see tears filling the mother's eyes, or how much her fingers were trembling as she ran them all over her blanket-wrapped baby.

"Y-Yeah…" Edward barely got out himself through the huge lump of emotion and tears that clogged his throat, no more able to take his eyes off of his son than Bella could herself. "J-Jared… Jared Edward Tyler Cullen…" he whispered throatily, feeling so much love for this tiny little person already that he felt it difficult to breathe.

"That's a beautiful name." Laura acknowledged, smiling as she started gathering her things for the trip back and let them enjoy a moment with the new addition to the family.

"Y-Yeah…" Edward just said distractedly, remembering how Bella had said he should choose their son's first name since she had been the one with the final say in the end the last time, then she had added 'Edward' because she wanted their baby to have his daddy's name, too, and then finally they had let Janelle add a name that she liked as well and she had come up with 'Tyler'. "Welcome to the world, son." he murmured then as his son blinked at him, even if he was sure he wasn't seeing a thing yet.

It didn't matter though, because at that instant he felt more complete than he had ever felt in his whole life and he knew he could wait for his son to really know him.

"God, he's so… p-perfect…" he couldn't help blurting out emotionally after long minutes spent just taking him in, in silence.

His son had a small mop of copper hair already, round rosy cheeks and if he wasn't mistaken, his eyes, too, although he couldn't be sure about that because he had them closed now, apparently having found peace almost the second he had found himself in Bella's embrace. He surely couldn't blame him however, because he knew firsthand himself that there wasn't safer place in the world than Bella's loving arms.

"Yes, he is… and he l-looks so much like you…" Bella smiled through her own tears, seeing so much of Edward in their son already, she just couldn't help thinking of all the hearts he would surely break in the future.

"You think so?" Edward wondered out loud, but then couldn't stop himself from laughing softly when a thought crossed his mind. "Hey… it looks like I got my Valentine's present after all."

Edward had actually planned to surprise Bella with a romantic dinner that same night. He had everything organized already in fact, from the restaurant, to who would babysit Janelle for them while they were out, but in the end he had gotten quite a surprise of his own. Such a wonderful surprise in fact, that he couldn't even mind that all his plans were now sure to fall through.

"Yeah, you did… though I can't say I saw that one coming…" Bella joined in, clearly thinking that she couldn't have done it better if she had planned it all herself. "He's beautiful, Edward…" she then turned more serious again, choking on a strangled breath before she could control herself.

"_You_ are beautiful!" Edward stated hoarsely, though he could surely not dispute her words, and framed her face tenderly when she looked up at him, the loving kiss he brushed against her lips then saying even more than words could at that instant about how much this meant to him and what a precious gift she had given him. "I love you!"

"Love you, too!" Bella returned immediately, both of them having completely forgotten everything that had been said, or that had happened earlier, when Bella had all but threatened his very life, now that they were able to hold their son at last.

Well, _almost_ everything was forgotten.

"You were right… he kind of has a big head… and he definitely has gotten my hair color, poor thing…" Edward commented with first a light chuckle and then a small grimace as the rays of the sun cast a light on the baby's crown and he noticed the streaks of reddish bronze hair his son could definitely not have gotten from Bella's side. "Sorry about that…"

"N-No, I love your hair… and it looks cute on him…" Bella contradicted right away, tracing the small mop of hair on the top of their son's head with a delicate finger.

"Trust me, he won't find it cute in a few years…" Edward snorted, remembering all too well how much he had _hated_ it himself once he had hit his teen years, sure that no girl, and particularly not Bella, would ever want to date him with the freakish, all too notable hair color nature had unfortunately gifted him with.

It had actually taken him quite a long time to stop caring about what people could think of the particular shade, or to really believe Bella when she told him over and over that she wouldn't change his hair for anything and that it only made him even more beautiful in her eyes.

"I don't care… he'll still be absolutely perfect to me…" Bella assured him, convinced that nothing in the world could ever make her think otherwise about her baby.

"So… is the new little family ready to go to the hospital now?" Laura interrupted their discussion despite how reluctant she seemed to have to do so, but she knew that it was now time to take Bella and the baby to get thoroughly examined and make sure they were both really alright.

She had done all she could herself, but that didn't mean that this was finished and mother and baby could probably use some rest as well anyway. This had certainly been one emotional and tiring day for both of them.

"Yes!" both Edward and Bella answered at the same time, and then Edward slid from behind Bella at last, hurrying to pick her up and help the paramedics place her half-sitting, half-lying on the gurney they had pulled up now.

Bella for her part didn't let go of the baby, all her attention was solely on him, and Edward couldn't do a thing but smile and hold tightly on one of the metal railings of the gurney as they rolled her away and out of her classroom.

He hadn't been thinking so much about whoever could still be in front of Bella's classroom however and consequently was not really prepared for the round of applauses that greeted them, the second they came into view of the crowd still gathered outside.

Students and teachers cheered them enthusiastically as they passed however, as much as he appreciated the thought and congratulations they received on their way, he wasn't sure how good such a noise could be for the baby. Bella herself seemed to be thinking the same if the way she cradled Jared protectively against her bosom and covered his ear was any indication.

Fortunately, if the baby clearly seemed to be somewhat disturbed by all the sudden noise around him, at least he kept from crying again and Edward guessed that was a good thing.

It didn't stop him from being glad nonetheless when a few teachers seemed to understand when to stop, at least for the baby's sake, and they managed to calm the others some down and even prevented a few eager students from following them completely outside. A few words from them were eventually enough to get them to scatter away and go back to what they had been doing, before the news traveled that one of the school teachers was giving birth in her own classroom, only mere feet from them.

Edward thought they were actually free to go at last when they finally managed to exit the school and started to make their way back to the ambulance, but they hadn't even reached it yet that they were stopped once more by the dumbfounded man that recognized Edward before he could himself.

"What the… Edward?" Jacob's voice showed his obvious surprise at seeing Edward there, walking along a gurney, the sight making him panic slightly since he had definitely not missed the ambulance parked in front of the school and couldn't help but worry that something had happened to Bella again, but that was still nothing compared to how he sounded when he took a better look at the person sitting there, a small bundle wrapped in her arms, and he finally understood what had gone on. "Oh, you have got to be shitting me? You gave birth?... How the hell could you give _birth_? I was gone only a few hours!"

Bella would have actually laughed at Jacob's completely incredulous expression, if she hadn't completely understood where he was coming from. This morning after all he had been with her, hovering near almost constantly while they worked on the last preparations for the fundraising, telling her what he considered she could do and what she couldn't in her condition, and now here she was, having given birth when nothing had apparently prepared him for that. For all everyone knew, she wasn't anywhere near that stage, even if _she_ had started suspecting herself that this would happen, earlier in the morning already.

"You were gone long enough apparently!" Edward replied before Bella could herself, knowing that she was certainly not seeing it Jacob's way.

What might have felt like mere hours for him, had certainly felt like an eternity of pain for Bella, he had no doubt about that, even if he couldn't imagine that she regretted having gone through it, when she looked at her accomplishment now.

"Let me see him!" Jacob asked excitedly once the shock had worn off some and he had to be shushed down by Bella when she saw Jared frown almost the second Jacob talked, obviously a little too loudly for his liking. "Oh, man… he looks just like you!" Jacob whispered to Edward the next second, when Bella barely uncovered the baby so he could have a look at him and he noticed the baby's striking resemblance with his father.

"Yes, he does, doesn't he?" Edward answered proudly, although he would have been just as pleased and proud if Jared had looked all like Bella. "What? Did you expect him to look like _you_?" he couldn't help adding jokingly a moment later, causing Jacob to look at him with a mischievous smile of his own.

"Man, wouldn't _that_ have been neat?" Jacob retorted right away, making Bella roll her eyes at both his and Edward's antics, although she was glad nonetheless to see that they had reached a point where they could actually joke together about what had happened in the past.

"Ass!" Edward punched Jacob's arm in retaliation, before helping the paramedics roll the gurney away again when Laura made him understand that they should really get going. "Make yourself useful… take my car to the hospital if you don't mind, I'm riding with them in the ambulance!" he then added, throwing his keys to the other man before he could even answer, knowing that Jacob would surely not refuse anyway.

"Sure, I guess I can do that for you!" Jacob agreed right away, like Edward suspected he would, and they all moved towards the ambulance.

The few feet that still separated them for the vehicle were spent answering Jacob's numerous questions –from the name they had given the baby and that had still been a secret, even if its sex had been revealed once Bella and Edward had discovered it themselves, to whom they were going to choose as godparents, or when they thought Bella and the baby would be out of the hospital so they could all celebrate- and as much as Edward truly appreciated Jacob's obvious interest, he was almost relieved for the quiet that suddenly surrounded them once the ambulance doors eventually closed behind them.

Laura invited Edward to sit in the back of the car near Bella's head while she took a seat by her feet herself, and while she radioed the hospital to warn them of their impeding arrival, Edward leaned over Bella, brushing her hair away and placing a tender kiss on her forehead.

"You okay?" he questioned softly as he saw her blinking repeatedly, obviously fighting with herself to keep her eyes open.

"Yes… I just… I'm so tired…" Bella admitted in a sigh, those last few hours having certainly been the longest of her life.

"I know… but you did well… you were just incredible, Bella… I'm so proud of you… and god, I love you so much…" he whispered to her with the proudest smile he could muster, but Bella was stopped from answering when Jared emitted a soft long sigh that had both of them momentarily holding their breaths.

"I just… I-I can't seem to be able to take my eyes off of him…" Bella murmured, when she was sure they hadn't woken the baby up.

"Neither do I… but Bella, it's okay… you can close your eyes, baby… he will still be here when you open them again…" Edward promised with an affectionate smile, completely understanding where she was coming from.

He didn't want to let their son out of his sight either, it was just too soon yet, but after what she had just gone through, he could only imagine just how tired she truly was in reality.

"What about him… I-I can't just…" Bella started arguing, but a finger on her lips stopped her from going any further.

Edward knew exactly what she meant without her needing to voice it and was gently taking the baby from her arms before she could finish. He held him so delicately, like he was afraid he would break him if he weren't careful enough, and Bella had to swallow past the huge ball of emotion in her throat then, barely able to resist the urge she felt to cry at the sight of Jared in his father's arms now.

"Rest, love… I've got him… I've got our son…" Edward breathed out, staring down in awe at the little bundle in his arms, not even believing himself that he had really helped creating such a small, but perfect thing.

Bella nodded then, too exhausted to protest any longer, moreover when she knew that she could blindly trust Edward to take care of Jared while she rested her eyes just for a little while. She trusted him with his life just like she had always trusted him with hers.

She was glad for the cramped space however, since it allowed her to be close enough to Edward and the baby to be able to feel them near, even with her eyes closed.

Edward seemed to sense her need anyway, and he took one of her hands almost right away, letting it rest on his thigh so he could keep some kind of contact with her as well.

Later on, he would have to think about all he had yet to do -like call his parents and Rosalie, call Bella's parents as well, and Jasper and Alice, and Emmett, too, and have his parents bring Janelle to the hospital, so she could meet her baby brother- but as they finally pulled away from the school premises, Edward found himself musing over how different his life had been only a year ago.

Last Valentine's Day, at more or less the same time, he had been utterly miserable, having wondered almost all day if he should go see Bella, if he should bring her the present he couldn't stop himself from buying, even if he had already been convinced it wouldn't change a thing to their situation, or to the fact that he believed his wife to be in love with another man, only to chicken out in the end and drink his sorrows away with Jasper instead.

God, how much a year could do. Since then, all the misunderstandings that had nearly torn them apart for good had been long cleared, he had taken back his position in his wife and daughter's lives and if he had to be asked right at that very second, Edward would say that he probably couldn't be more in love with Bella even if he tried.

Life had already been about just as perfect as it could be, but now this… Edward wasn't even sure he could find the words to describe what he felt in that instant as he gazed down at his wife and son, but if he had to at least try, he would most likely say it was simply pure bliss… utter and complete happiness and contentment.

He just couldn't help thinking of how much of a miracle it felt to be here and be able to experience this now.

Jared was in fact their very own and personal little miracle, the child neither he or Bella, at one point and not so long ago, had thought they would ever have, and if Edward knew that they would never make any differences between their two children, or that they would always love them both just as much, he couldn't deny either that Jared would probably always be somewhat '_special_' in their eyes, and not only because he was even born on this particular day and in a way embodied the perfect symbol of their re-found love.

Jared simply erased everything that had gone wrong between him and Bella and was the living proof that they had made it through despite all the hurdles life had thrown at them and emerged even stronger, despite how hard or insuperable they had seemed at times, and there was no doubt in Edward's mind that there was a lot to learn from that.

As he looked at his son now, Edward couldn't help picturing all he would do with him, all he would teach him, like how to ride a bike one day, or how to play football, baseball, or any other sports he had learned from his own father himself. All the things that a father _had_ to teach his son.

Yet, even as he thought about the future and how perfect he wanted his son's life to be, Edward still knew that he would probably make mistakes concerning Jared's education. He was only human after all and was surely not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but Edward vowed to himself nonetheless that he would never give him any reason to not be proud of him, or to ever doubt just how much his son could mean to him, or how much his father could love him.

He would support him and protect him with his life, give him the best of himself, and do his best to pass down to him the values that had been dear to his parents and had become his as well.

He would teach him to respect himself and be proud of what he was… oh, and respect women, too, and his mother in particular. Yes, that seemed important.

But if there was one thing… yes, just one thing Edward really wanted his son to be, it was a fighter. He wished that whatever Jared become, whatever he did, or whatever happened in his life, even when he wouldn't be there anymore to protect and guide him himself, he would never, ever give up, no matter what.

If there was one thing this last year had taught Edward, it was that no matter what life threw at you, nothing was insurmountable, at least if you were willing to try and fight for what you desired, what you needed or wanted, and he really hoped with all his might that his son would never forget that as well.

Never forget that nothing was gained forever, but nothing was completely lost either, not until you decided so, and that with love, patience, understanding and communication, anything was possible… yes, anything… even when you thought it was too late.

**THE END**

**Okay, that's it… weeeiiirrrddd… Lol … but thanks once more for reading, leaving reviews, or just lurking around! **

**C U SOON… MAYBE ;)**

**TAKE CARE!**


End file.
